Perfectly Lonely
by LendMeYourHrt
Summary: Bella was content with her life, until a moody bull riding cowboy named Edward turned her world upside down.
1. Chapter 1  Prologue

"If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you I wouldn't love you. If I didn't love you I wouldn't miss you, but I did, I do and I will."

* * *

I always told myself that I never needed a man to make my life feel whole. Being single was simple. Nothing to do, nowhere to be, a simple kind of free. No one's life is perfect, and mine was far from it, but I was proud of who I was and what direction it was heading.

That was until I met Edward Masen.

You know how everyone says that when you stop looking for love, it will find you? Well, that happened to me. I don't know how it happened, but it did…and fast.

It has been almost a year since I have laid eyes on Edward. I hear about him occasionally on the TV but that usually results in me turning it off. At one point, seeing him on the TV was all it would take to temporarily mend the severed strings of my heart, but I soon that realized that tactic was a slippery slope.

I look over to the figure standing near me, "don't look at me like that Bree. I know you miss daddy, but he's not coming home anytime soon" I mutter.

Looking at Bree just makes things so much worse. I can't help but love her, but seeing her in front of me is a daily reminder of the life I used to have. I remember the day that we brought her home, both of us in such a joyful place. Excited to have something for our own.

Life with Edward wasn't all bad. We shared a lot of great times. Being around Edward was easy as breathing. We were one of those couples that I used to make fun of. You know those ones where all they wanna do is hang out with each other and make out? Yeah, that was us. We had great days and bad days, sometimes the bad days destroying the memory of the good ones, but after that first day, my body and my mind couldn't stay away from him.

That was until the night of the World Finals, when my whole world changed again.


	2. Chapter 2  Me, Myself, and Two Others

BPOV

I can feel my skin soaking up all the vitamin D. It knows these rays of sunshine won't last forever. Life would be just about be perfect right now, if I wasn't scrunched up in the back seat of Rose's fucking Mustang, along with a massive amount of luggage. One would think the trunk would be an ideal place for luggage, but once Rosalie put hers in, there was no more room for mine or Alice's.

Typical Rosalie. She is used to getting her way…always. God knows I love her, but sometimes I just want to put my arms around her neck, and squeeze. They are some of the most loyal friends anyone can have. They aren't just my best friends; they are the sisters I never had.

We met back in 4th grade when I moved into the house next door to them, after my family decided to get away from the busy city lifestyle. My brother and I weren't too pleased about leaving San Francisco, but it's not like we really had a choice. My father wasn't happy with his job at the local police station and felt the violent streets of the big city were not suitable for raising a family.

So where did we go? Forks, Washington. A town under a near constant cover of clouds and rain, Population: 3,120 people.

Once we arrived to town, it took me almost a week to find out that Rosalie and Alice were even twins. Sister's yes, twins…not so believable. Rosalie is extremely tall for a girl, with long flowing blonde hair with a big fucking chip on her shoulder. Alice is quite the opposite. She is petite with short spiky hair and a giggly, friendly attitude. When we first got to Forks, I was a bit dramatic about the whole thing. I refused to leave my bedroom, practically kicking and screaming when I was forced to go to school. Since both my parents worked in the early morning, they asked our new neighbors if my brother and I could carpool with them. I had heard that they had two daughters who went to Forks Junior High, but I had no intentions of becoming friends with them, figuring we would just move again. But that was the day that I got two of the best friends anyone could have.

Rosalie and Alice's parents are rich, unlike mine, and they don't even try to hide it. I was always jealous of them growing up because they would get what they wanted without hesitation, a concept I was not familiar with. Both of them always had new and expensive hobbies every time I turned around. But it's because of these hobbies their lives changed forever. Alice took the artistic approach, always drawing anything she could get her hands around. She is an amazing artist and I was stoked when she enrolled in classes with me at Seattle University. Rosalie, on the other hand, took up horse riding in the summer and she was hooked. She is now the top barrel racer in the country.

Ever since I can remember, I've been going with the Reed family to her competitions. I always love watching her ride. She looks so graceful on the horse. The way they move, almost as if they are one.

And it is because of barrel racing that I am squished like a fucking sardine in the back of this car. We are somewhere between Forks, Washington and a small ass ranching town in Nevada, when I realize I have to get the hell out of this car.

"Rose, we've been on the road for 9 straight hours, my ass is completely numb. Can we get the fuck out of this car before I kill myself?"

Rose glared at me through the rear view mirror. "God Bella, don't be such a drama queen."

"No, we leave you to fill that role," I snap back.

Rosalie, without a blinker and without looking to side, zips off the closest freeway exit, cutting off multiple people and slamming me into the side of the car door in the process.

"Smooth Rose, real smooth," I mutter out loud.

"What?" She says as she gives a half-hearted grin in the rear view mirror.

She pulls into the nearest gas station, putting the Mustang in park. Once my feet hit the ground, I can feel that every muscle in my legs and back are sore. I turn to Rosalie.

"And tell me why we couldn't have taken my truck? At least I wouldn't have had to squeeze myself in the back of yours…plus we could have thrown all your crap in the back."

"Excuse me…first of all your truck is a piece of shit, we never would have even made it out of Forks in that thing. And second, Louis Vuitton's DO NOT go in the back of a rusty truck bed."

I turn around and face Alice before heading towards the convenience store, knowing this will probably be the last time we are stopping before we get to our destination.

"Hey Alice, you wanna come to the bathroom with me? This place looks kinda sketchy."

"Yeah hold on one second," she says as she fixes her lip gloss in the side mirror.

"Thanks assholes…just leave me out here to get mugged," Rose snaps as us as we walk away from her.

We both choose to ignore her.

Once we head inside, I soon realize that this probably wasn't the best place for three, twenty one year old females to stop.

"Excuse me, but where are your bathrooms?" I ask the cashier who has a greasy mullet and missing teeth and basically looks like he just walked out of an America's Most Wanted episode.

"In the back, to the left," he grunts.

"Thanks."

So you know those scenes in movies where they go into the public restrooms and they are covered in filth and feces? This was worse. There was not one surface that wasn't covered in human fluids.

"Oh for the love of God! That's fucking disgusting," I blurt out as I pull my shirt up over my nose.

As I turn around to see the look on Alice's face, I'm not surprised to find she is already gone. Alice doesn't do dirty. Alice has always been sensitive to her surroundings, hiding herself from anything that would mess up her pretty outfit. That was another way that Rose and Alice differ. Just as I round the corner, I see the flash of short black hair bolting out the door.

_Well, it looks like we aren't peeing here._

"Bella! Get your ass in the car or so help me we will leave you here," I hear Alice scream as Rose is about to peel out of the parking lot.

Once we are back on the freeway, Alice turns in her seat to look at me.

"That was the grossest thing I have ever seen in my life."

"Yeah, it was. But it doesn't help the fact that I still have to pee."

"Here," Rose hands me an empty water bottle.

"What the hell do you expect me to do with this? I don't have a dick. I can't pee in this."

"Just trying to help," Rose giggles.

"Sure you are. Just pull over, I'll piss on the side of the road," I sigh as I start to unbuckle.

"You know that's illegal right? It's considered indecent exposure," Alice says.

"Alice, were in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, I think we're fine."

Rose, once again cutting off multiple people, pulls over to the shoulder.

"Where the hell did you learn to drive Rose. Mr. Toad's wild ride?" I say.

"I may drive like shit Bella, but I have never gotten a ticket."

"Yeah, because all you have to do to get out of a ticket is flash the cops your cleavage," Alice pipes.

"Damn right little sister," Rose says, shimmying her chest.

"Hey Rose, how does it feel to be a whore?" I blurt from back seat.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" she retorts.

I thank my lucky fucking stars that I am wearing a skirt, because being a girl and peeing on the side of road isn't exactly the easiest thing in the world. As I crouch behind a bush, trying to hide from the gobs of people driving by, I wonder how I even gotten myself in this situation.

Two weeks ago I was in my comfy loft back in Seattle. I had just finished my junior year of college and summer was upon us. I was planning on getting some more hours at my work, even though I really don't need the money. My father and I always had a deal when it came to my schooling. As long as I kept my grades up throughout high school and stayed out of trouble, he would pay for me to attend college and all that it may include. But because I was beginning to feel like a worthless person to this society, I picked up a part time job being a tour guide at Bill Spiedel's Underground Tour in the Pioneer Square of Seattle. This was my one escape from the real world. I get to interact with people and put my history degree to good use.

My father was always skeptical of me going to school for history, but he truly knew this is what I loved to study, so he never pressed the issue. Let's just say he wasn't too thrilled when I told him I was moving to Seattle with Alice though. Charlie never got to choose his profession. He was a born protector, so it was only natural that be become a police officer. My mother, Renee, owned a small café in when we lived in San Francisco, but became a housewife when we moved to Forks. She is a wonderful cook, something that came natural to her. I, however, never adopted that gene from her. I can't cook for shit.

When I left my last class for the summer, I was really stoked to have some free time. No waking up early, no late nights doing homework. Other than work, I was free. Rose always called me a homebody because I would rather curl up on the couch and read a book than go out to a club or a bar. I would on occasion go out, but it usually ended up with me being the designated driver and holding Rose's hair as she puked in the bar bathroom.

The noise of gravel crunching snaps my brain back to the present. I look up from the behind the bush and see the bright red Mustang slowly pulling away from the shoulder.

"HEY! What the fuck?" I scream as I pull up my underwear.

Just as I reach the door handle, the car lurches forward. Rose thinks she's such a clever bitch. As I reach for the handle again, it lurches forward again. Fed up with her bullshit, I do the only thing I can think of. I pull off my wedge heels and take off. As I reach the trunk, I pull myself up and over and slide into the back seat.

_Take that._

"Well it's about time you joined us," Rose giggles.

_I'm going to hit a bitch. _

"Hey Rose, maybe you should let someone else drive for a change."

"No one touches this baby but me. Plus, I don't think you can handle the horsepower Bella."

_Whatever bitch. _

According to the passing signs, we're about 5 hours away from our destination. It's just after 5pm when we pull into Reno. The actual ranch that we are going to is about 35 minutes from here, but Rose wanted to check out downtown.

As we pull into town, all the bright lights remind me of a small Las Vegas, but more run down. There are tons of people out on the street, something that is a rare sight in Forks. I glance over at the thermostat in the Mustang… 93 degrees...and it's 7 o'clock at night. The back of my thighs are sticking to the leather seats and I've just about had enough when we pull into the parking lot for the Grand Sierra hotel.

As we pile out of the car, I begin to pull my suitcase out of the back when Rosalie stops me.

"Bella, there are men here to do that for you," she says as she gives one of the bellboy's a flirtatious look.

"Good evening ladies," the gorgeous young man says to us as he pulls our luggage from the car.

"You may head inside for check in and your luggage will be waiting for you when you get to your room."

"Thanks," we all say in unison.

"I saw him first," Rosalie spats as she runs up to the revolving doors.

Alice and I just shake our heads. When it comes to men, Alice and I are more introverted, with Rose being the exact opposite. Both Alice and I have dated, but nothing ever serious. I am perfectly content on being with no one; I am perfectly lonely.

"Can I at least pay for part of the hotel?" I ask Alice as we walk up to check in counter.

"Absolutely not. We drug you along on this trip. You will not pay for anything. Besides, daddy is the one who is paying for it, not us."

"I'm sorry miss but it seems that the only room we have available has one queen bed," the hotel clerk tells Rosalie.

_A shit storm is about to happen._

"What? I specifically asked for a room with two queen beds, NOT one."

"I apologize ma'am, but there is an event in town and we are booked solid"

"Fine. The only reason I am not gonna argue is because we have been in the car for 15 hours and I am fucking exhausted. But don't think your supervisor won't hear about this later."

When we get up to the room, I am pleased that our luggage is in the closet. However, I am disappointed that there is indeed only one bed. Rose walks over to the bed and plops face first down in the middle.

"I don't know where you guys are sleeping, but I've found my bed," she muffles with her face in the pillows.

Alice and I look at each other, speaking without words, both understanding what to do next. We take this opportunity to fly across the room, pouncing on top of Rose, smacking her with the nearby pillows and then smashing her face into the mattress repeatedly. I feel like we are 10 again, jumping on beds and having pillow fights. I feel a little stupid, but carefree and happy.

"Alright. I'm going to go take a shower," I say as I grab my toiletry bag from my suitcase.

As I step in the shower, the warm water sprays across my stiff back and the car ride starts to melt away. For a while I just stand there, soaking up the water and I start to feel normal again. After I wash my hair and my body, I look up and notice that the shower head is detachable. Although it is an intriguing idea, I decide otherwise. I don't need Rose to come barging in and hold THAT over my head for the rest of my life. Once I get out of the shower, I wrap up in one of the fluffy white robes that the hotel has provided.

When I re-enter the room, I see that Rose and Alice have changed their clothes. Rose is wearing skinny jeans, a white tank top, and a pair of strappy heels. Alice is wearing a halter top cotton dress with wedges sandals.

"Why are you guys all dressed up?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

"We're going out because we all know Rose can't go bar hopping if her life depended on it."

"But I was really hoping just to relax, since we've been in the car all day long, ya know?"

"Come on Bella, if your pussy doesn't get some action, it's gonna pack its shit up and leave. Probably your tits too."

I roll my eyes.

_Bitch always gets her way. _

I pull a pair of jeans, a tshirt and my flats. If I'm going to be dragged around town, I might as well be comfy. I run back into the bathroom and dry my hair, put a minimal amount of makeup on, and before I know it I'm in the elevator. As we descend down to the lobby, I notice a small sign hung up on the wall. It seems to be an advertisement of some sort.

**"PBR built Ford tough series Presented by Wrangler comes to Reno. Friday June 11th thru June 13th"**

So that's why the hotel is booked. Professional bull riders are in town.

_Great. _

A bunch of stupid rednecks watching dumbass men with death wishes ride a 2,000 pound bull for 8 seconds.

The elevator dings and just as I'm about to exit when Alice stops me.

"This isn't the lobby," she says.

As the doors open, two men enter. We scoot over so that they may join us. They immediately tip their hats and turn to face forward. I can't help but notice how great their asses look in their jeans.

_I might become a fan of Wrangler's after all._

Instantly, Rose begins to chat with them, both of them falling for her charm. I half listen to what she's saying, zoning out until I realize I'm in the elevator alone.

"You coming or what?" Alice gives me a comical look.

As soon as I catch up with her and Rose, Rose is saying goodbye to the two cowboys.

"So what are we gonna do?" I ask.

"Well those guys just told me about a local bar called The Cadillac Ranch. It's a couple of blocks up. Guaranteed to be full of a lot of hot guys and beer."

"Whatever you want to do Rose," I say as I look down the street.

Before I know it, we are in a dark, smoky bar that was packed to the hills with people and we have to push through people to make it to an open table in the back. Once situated, the cocktail waitress came and took our drink order. Rose and I ordered a Budweiser, and Alice ordered a strawberry daiquiri.

Sometimes she was embarrassing to be around.

"We're in a bar in Nevada, why can't you just order a beer like everyone else?" Rose spats mutters to Alice.

"Cause I don't like beer. That's why, "Alice retorts.

To deter my attention from them, I scan the room. All I can see is a sea of cowboy hats.

"What is it, national redneck day?" I blurt out over the music.

"Bella, you're in Nevada. You better get used to it. Plus cowboys are really good in bed."

"Some girls want sex to last longer than 8 seconds," I mutter while placing my lips on my beer glass.

I roll my eyes and divert my attention back to the crowd and begin to hear loud shouts and screaming over the music. Jumping up to see what's going on, I see two men over near the bar. One has the other one pinned against the bar, repeatedly punching him in the face. I can't see their faces, and the only physical attribute I can make out is their hair. One boy has short black hair and the other with longer, golden hair. They each get a few more punches in before the bouncer comes and breaks the fight up. Within seconds, the black haired one is dragged out of the bar.

"Stupid rednecks," I mutter to myself. "Well I've had about as much excitement for tonight, I'm gonna head back to the hotel."

"Aw come on Bella, you're such a party pooper."

"Bite me Rose."

I start to get up from the table and I recognize the two men from the elevator coming through the front door.

"Hey ladies, you made it! Can we get you something to drink?" one of them asks as they approach us.

"Actually we were just leaving but thanks," I say as I slide past them.

"I'll take another beer," Rose blurts out.

I plop my ass back in the chair. This is going to be fan-fucking-tastic. An hour later, Rose and I have had 2 beers and a shot of Jack Daniels each and Alice has downed 2 daiquiris. To say the least, we were feeling it.

"I wanna ride the bull!" Alice screams loud at us.

Rose and I look at Alice with a shocked expression. This is defiantly the booze talking.

"Come on sugar. I'll take you over there. I know the guy who runs it," one of the guys, who's name I finally learned was Christian, escorts Alice over to the mechanical bull. Rose and I follow.

_There was no way I am missing this._

This area of the bar is even more crowded that the rest.

"Hey Jackson! This little lady wants to go next," Christian yells as he points over Alice's head.

"Sure thing man. You got insurance on her? She seems fragile, wouldn't wanna break her."

"I can handle myself just fine thank you very much," Alice barks.

Maybe giving her alcohol wasn't a good idea.

The boy working the mechanical bull takes Alice by the arm and leads her towards it. Before she has time to reach up for the bull, the boy picks Alice up and sets her gently onto of it. Alice glances over at us until the bull starts to slowly lurch forward. Alice, looking a little frightened, clenches her legs together and throws her arm up in the air. The longer she holds on, the faster the bull begins to go. Before we know it the buzzer is going off and the bull comes to a stop. Alice hops off, without the help of bull boy, and struts towards us. Before she can reach us, I see the mechanical bull operator step in front of her. After a couple minutes, Alice comes strutting up to us.

"Guess what? That guy over there, his name is Jackson and we totally hit it off. He asked me what we were doing here and I explained it to him and apparently his cousin's family owns the ranch were going to tomorrow."

"Of course he's related to the Masen's, that's how incest works. Everybody is related to everybody," I whisper under my breath. "Can we go? I've just about had my fill of this place," I scream to Rose and Alice over the jukebox.

"Yeah, I'm actually getting pretty tired too," Alice says.

As soon as I step outside, I instantly feel better. As I begin to start walking back to the hotel, I notice that yet once again I am alone. As I spin around to look for Rose and Alice, I notice a pair of dark eyes looking back at me. Through the haze of nearby cigarette smoke, I can see that the figure is holding a rag up to his left eyebrow, which is caked with blood. This must be the boy from the fight. I lean against the wall trying not to look back at him. Much to my delight, I spot Rose and Alice filtering out the front door. Just as I'm about to turn the corner, I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought they were wings," a voice says behind me.

I turn around and the dark haired boy is standing beside me, smiling.

"Excuse me?"

"I said…"

"No, I heard you. I was just wondering if you get a lot of women saying shit like that?" I blurt out, holding back the laughter that is trying to emerge from my throat.

"Are you asking about my sex life?"

I gasp.

"What? No. I mean. I dunno," I can feel the fire burning up from my cheeks.

"Now that's beautiful," he says as he stares at what I can imagine are my rosy red cheeks.

"Don't worry, I was just joking around with the angel stuff. I like my girls quite the opposite actually."

"Well you can forget about old Bella here, she's about as crazy as a pack of puppies," Rose so nicely blurts out, putting her arm around me.

"Oh well I think we can fix that," the boy smiles.

"Well, it's really late, I think we should get going," I say, trying to drag myself away from this situation.

"Well ladies, I won't keep you, hope you have a good night. Oh and Bella was it? I'm Jake."

I smile and then around without saying anything else. It's a short walk back to the hotel, and all I can do is think about what I just witnessed, my mind going back to the figure outside.

_Jake. _

Before I know it, Rose, Alice and I are all squished into a queen size bed and I can't help but laugh.

_Three girls in one bed, every man's dream._

The next morning I wake up to the sound of shuffling. Rolling over I notice that I'm in the bed by myself.

"Its 8am…what the hell are you guys doing up?" I peer out from under the covers.

"We've gotta get going Bella. The ranch is another 35 minutes from here and Peter is expecting me," Rose explains.

I almost forgot why we were here. Rose is planning on purchasing a wild mustang for her barrel racing competitions.

"So get your little ass outta bed," Rose says as she pulls the comforter off of me.

I grab some clothes from my suitcase and walk into the bathroom. I slip on a pair of distressed American Eagle shorts, a white tank top and flip flops. I throw my hair up in a ponytail and call it a day.

Once we reach outside, I am instantly hit with a wall of heat.

"Jesus Christ. Is this city built on the fucking sun?" Rose moans as she runs to her car.

Once we get inside the Mustang, the cool blast of the AC feels good on my face.

…

We finally make it to our destination. As I look out the window, there are horse stables as far as I can see. Rose turns right off the main street and we start ascending up a long gravel driveway and that when I see it. "MASEN'S WILD MUSTANG RESCUE" is printed on a large wooden sign that runs across the distance of the driveway. When we reached the end of the driveway, we pulled in front of the large home.

Just as we are getting out of the car, a tall slender man with blonde hair strides towards. As he gets closer, he holds a hand out towards Rose.

"Hello ladies, I'm Peter. You must be Rosalie."

Rose holds out her hand.

"It's nice to meet you. This is my sister Alice, and that's Bella," she says.

"Nice to meet you all. Well if you just follow me I can take you down to where the mustangs are kept. So if you just jump into the rhino..."

_What the fuck is a rhino? Oh you mean that death contraption golf cart thingy? Perfect._

Per usual, Rosalie jumps in the front seat with Peter…Alice and I riding bitch in the back. As we descend down the hill, I see multiple people stirring about, and a shit ton of horses.

As soon as I step onto the ground, I feel something squish under my feet. I may be a city girl, but I don't even have to look down to know exactly what I have stepped in. A big pile of horse shit.

"Fuck me!" I say, holding my foot off the ground. Rose and Alice start to laugh.

"Oh I forgot to tell you, watch out for those horse apples," Peter laughs.

_You are so not fucking funny dude. _

"Now you fucking tell me," I say as I drag my foot along the gravel trying to scrap the crap off my shoe.

"There's a hose inside the barn that you can use to wash it off," Peter says pointing to it.

As I walk through the barn, I notice all the horse stalls, each one filled with freakishly huge horses. I don't know why, but they've always scared me. Maybe because they are gentle graceful creatures, but they also have to power to squish you like a fucking bug. The fact that these are wild horses doesn't ease my mind either. As I walk past the stables, I notice a small tack room filled with saddles and whips.

_Kinky._

As I continue to make my way through the barn, I hear a repetitive sound in the background.

_***Whack***_

_***Whack***_

_***Whack***_

_***Whack***_

As I look to my left, I finally find the hose. I begin to wash the foul smelling shit off of my shoe, when I notice the sound abruptly stops.


	3. Chapter 3  Hot Blooded

BPOV

"I think I'm in heaven because there's an angel standing in front of me," I hear from behind me.

_Fuck Me._

Sure enough as I turn around, I find Jake standing behind me with that same boyish grin as last night. But this time, he is shirtless…wearing nothing but jeans, lace up boots and an axe slung over his shoulder. I literally have to remind myself to breathe.

_In…Out… In…Out._

"Hello…ummm…what was it again? Josh…Jason?" I say, trying to act like my heart is going to jump out of my fucking chest. .

"Ouch…I'm wounded…" he says gripping his chest."Pretty small world isn't it Bella? Are you stalking me now?"

_Must not look at sweaty abs. Must not look at tight jeans._

"What? Oh umm…no…my friend is here picking up a wild mustang. She's a barrel racer. Apparently they are the best kind for barrel racing. Her parents are super rich, they get her whatever she wants. We're staying at her aunt and uncles house. They live just down the road. Ummm…what are you doing here?" I say, not taking a breath in between words.

_God Bella could you be more retarded? _

"Well Bella…I work here. What are you doing down in the barn….alone for that fact?"

"Well, I stepped in some fucking disgusting horse shit and Peter said I could come down here and wash it off."

Jacob looks down at my foot.

"See this is why city girls shouldn't come to ranches…might get their pretty painted toenails dirty."

"Fuck you," I say as I glare at him.

"Wow Bella…there might be hope for you yet. I like girls with a little spunk."

I lean over and turn the hose on, letting the cold water trickle out.

"Here let me help you with that," he says.

As he takes a step towards me, I instinctively take a step backwards.

"Don't worry Bella, I won't hurt you. I'm actually a pretty nice guy, maybe you should give me a chance."

I can't help it any longer. My eyes travel from his face down to the large Adam's apple protruding from his throat. His chest is chiseled, obviously a result of the manual labor he does. His skin is tan and dirty, evidently he spends a lot of time in the outside. Once my eyes travel over his belt buckle, I snap them away. I stare at the ground for what seems like minutes, until my eyes finally look back up at his and I can't help but notice a large grin across his face.

_Shit, I've been caught._

"You can look Bella, I don't mind."

"I was just actually looking at the dirt that's all over you…don't you ever take a shower?"

"I like being a dirty boy…Bella," he says, cocking his head to one side. "Now let's get this shit off of you."

"You better keep your eyes on my foot…Jacob," I warn.

"Doesn't that make you a bit of a hypocrite considering you were just staring at me like a piece of meat?"

I roll my eyes.

Jacob bends down, dragging his fingertips down the length of my leg. He grabs the clasp on my shoe, his fingertips lightly grazing my ankle. My heart begins to race at an irregular speed. I've been with men…well actually boys… plenty of times, but this situation is just awkward. I barely know this boy and part of me knows it should stop, but a stronger part of me doesn't want it to.

I look down, and Jake grabs my ankle tightly, holding it my foot out in front of me. My body instinctively jerks back as the cold water runs over it. As I do, Jake grabs my foot again and places it on top of his knee. I can feel his warm hands all over my foot, and then soon up my calf. I begin to feel a tightening in my stomach.

What the hell is wrong with me? One boy touches my foot and I'm weak in the knees?

_Get it together Bella. _

But my body is responding to his every touch. His hands are rough, but feel good against my soft skin. His touch is light, and I am mesmerized by it. That is until he bolts upright, like someone lit a fire under his ass.

"What the fuck is going on in here?" I hear a stern voice coming from behind me. The voice's owner is so close to me that I can feel his breath moving the hair on my neck.

I drop my foot from Jake's knee and I spin around, my eyes assaulted with gold and green. The feeling of déjà vu overwhelms me. I look back at Jake, who is staring harshly back at the figure in front of me . Dark hair. Gold hair. Dark hair. Gold hair.

_Oh no. _

"What are you doing in here Black? Don't you have work to do?"

"Don't get your panties in a twist Masen, just trying to help a woman in distress."

"I don't think my father pays you to… fuck around," the figure says, putting emphasis on the last two words.

Well this is sufficiently awkward. I feel like I am the one who created this confrontation…when it's evident that there is something deeper than me going on here.

"Why don't you run along Black. I'm sure there is a lot of shit for you to do or pick up."

Jacob goes to retort, but instead looks at me, fire wild in his eyes. "See you later Bella."

"I wouldn't count on it," the sullen voice calls from behind me.

Great. Now I am standing here with one shoe off and alone with yet another man.

"Umm…I'll just grab my shoe and be on my way," I say as I bend down to retrieve it from the floor.

The only way back out is the way I came in. And this…man…is standing right in the doorway. As I walk towards him, he doesn't budge.

"Excuse me," I mutter under my breath. As I slide past him, I can feel the heat radiating off his body. I instinctively look up, and I am bombarded with the brightest green eyes I have ever seen.

_I need to get out of here…this farm air is fucking with my head._

When I make it back outside, I see that Rose and Alice are still talking with Peter.

As I walk up, I can hear Peter conversing with them. "You chose a really good one. Jake and I have been working on her for a real long time. She came to use pretty torn up. I think she was attacked by something out there. Took her a while to get up to training, but she was a fast learner. She still needs some work so she won't be available to take home now, but you can put a down payment on her to hold your spot."

"Well we're going to be staying at my aunt's just up the street. How long do you think until she's ready?" Rose asks.

"Well she is due for her last performance examine and then her last set of shots, so I would say about 3 weeks."

"Great. Let me just go grab my checkbook."

As Rose runs back up to the car, I walk back up to where Alice and Peter are standing.

"Bella, what the hell took you so long?" Alice asks.

"I was in the barn washing my foot when Jake walked in," I explain.

"Jake? As in Jake from the bar last night? What the hell is he doing HERE?"

Before I have time to answer, Peter explains.

"Jake is my assistant. He does anything and everything. He's my right hand man."

"So does he have a girlfriend?" Alice utters.

"Why are you so interested?" I quickly snap back.

Why do I feel possessive of him all of a sudden? Bella doesn't get possessive over men.

_Great. Now I'm referring to myself in the third person. I've gone mental. _

"Jake came to work for us when my son felt he was too good for this place," Peter explains.

"I've met Jake, he seems…nice. I'm sure he looks better without that black eye though," I nervously laugh.

"What?" Peter asks confused.

_Have I said something wrong? Apparently._

"So, you have a son?" Alice inquires.

Since when did she care about men so much?

Ignoring Alice's question, Peter looks up and suddenly bellows. "Edward Anthony Masen…get your ass over here right now!"

I don't even have to turn around to know who he is talking too. I can feel his presence, but my body turns against my will. He is back by the stables, stacking piles of hay along the outside, now without a shirt on.

_Is this place a front for a Chippendales show? _

"Edward. Go put a fucking shirt on. We have ladies present."

"Dude, it's not like I'm naked. And it's hot as shit out here."

"For the love of Christ, just put a goddamn shirt on," Peter says rolling his eyes.

The beautiful creature, which now has a name, pulls on a plaid button up shirt as he walks over to us. Alice and I sigh unintentionally.

"Alice, this is my son Edward."

Edward holds his hand out to Alice.

"Nice to meet you Alice."

"And Edward, this is Bella."

His green eyes boar into my soul.

"We've met," he mutters, not offering me his hand.

_We have? Oh you mean that awkward situation in the barn. I wouldn't call that making acquaintances. _

"So what is this I hear about Jacob having a black eye? Were you two together last night at The Cadillac Ranch?"

"Dude, that fucking little pussy was running his mouth again. I felt obliged to shut him the hell up."

"God damnit Edward. Every time you get in a fight with him, he drags ass around here like a hurt puppy and production slows down. When things slow down, it costs me more money. Knock it the fuck off."

"Don't worry, I got more than enough money for the both of us."

_So he's rich. Explains the attitude. _

"Excuse my conceited son. He's likes to think that if you have a lot of money you're the greatest person on the fucking planet."

"So are you famous or something?" Alice, always with the questions.

"You could say that. Edward is currently the top rider in the PBR," Peter says, placing his hand on his sons shoulder. Alice and I look at each other with a puzzled look.

Edward chuckles. What a sweet, gentle laugh. It doesn't fit his rough exterior. "Professional Bull Riders."

"Oh wow. Isn't that like…dangerous?" I blurt out.

Edward grins towards me. "You can say that. But nothing intimidates me, I'm always up for a good challenge."

As I pry my eyes away from his, I see Rosalie strolling up behind him. I never thought I'd say this…but I am so happy to see her.

"Here's your check Peter. We will be at my aunt's house up the street in the meantime."

Wait what? I thought were driving here, getting the damn horse, and leaving.

"What?"

"We'll talk about it later Bella," Rosalie snaps.

"Well, we better get going. Thank you Peter for you help. You have beautiful horses."

"My pleasure Rosalie. Bella…Alice…it was very nice to meet you." Peter shakes our hands once more, then leaves, Edward remains standing beside us.

Rosalie, Alice and I stand there awkwardly. As we start to walk away, I hear Edward speak.

"See you around…Bella."

"I wouldn't count on it…Edward," I call over my shoulder.

We make it to the car before I ask Rosalie, "so what's this bullshit I hear about us staying with your aunt?"

"Well…we didn't want to tell you until we got here, but the horse won't be ready to take home for another 3 weeks. Alice packed you extra clothes, your parents already know and you have don't have to start work until the end of the month. Please don't get upset, we just knew that if we told you before we left, you never would have come.

I'm too tired to argue. "Whatever Rosalie"

"So who was that hunk of a man standing next to you when I walked up?"

"That was Peter's son, Edward. He's kind of a douche bag. I guess he's some big wig bull rider. He wasn't very nice when he walked in on Jake and I."

I immediately regret those words coming out of my mouth.

"Wait…what? Jake…as in hunky man from the bar last night?" Rose inquires.

"Umm yeah he was helping me with something."

"Bella, there is a whole lot you're not telling us."

"It's nothing really…I went down to the barn to wash the horse shit off of my leg, when Jake came in. Apparently he works for Peter as his assistant, small fucking world…I know. So he offered to help me wash my leg off and then about 3 minutes later, Edward walked in. There is defiantly something going on between those two because Jake took off pretty damn fast," I explain.

"Shit Bella…for someone who claims they don't need a man, they sure cling to you like bees finding honey."

"I think it was more like wrong place at the wrong time situation," I shrug.

What seems like only seconds later we pull up to a dairy farm. This must be their aunt's house. As we climb from the car, I start to pull my luggage from the car and of course, mine is completely stacked behind the pile that is Rosalie's. Rosalie, being the bitch that she is, stands there staring at me, assuming that I am going to get her shit for her.

"I am not pulling your luggage out, you can do that all by yourself bitch," I say as I waltz up to the front porch, leaving my bag behind. Ben and Tanya Hale's house is huge, putting the Masen one to shame. Although it is out in the country, the home looks out of place. As we enter inside, we are greeted by Tanya, Rosalie and Alice's aunt. She is a tall, slender woman with curly blonde hair. She reminds me of Rosalie in a way, but with a softer face and a hell of a lot better attitude.

"Hello my darlings! How are we today on this lovely June day?" she pipes.

"How in the hell can you stand this heat every day Aunt Tanya?" Rosalie asks, pulling the collar of her shirt down.

"You get very use to it, and one tends to come up with intriguing ideas to cool yourself down," she says as she winks at all of us.

She turns towards me. "My dear Bella, it has been a couple years since we have seen you last, how are you?"

"I'm very well thank you. Keeping myself busy with school and work, until I was dragged down here by twiddle dee and twiddle dumb," I say, pointing my thumb.

"Hey, I resent that," Alice pipes.

"You haven't been BUSY in about a year Bella, but you never know, that might all change very soon." I shoot Rose a daggered look.

"I'm sure you ladies are tired. Let me show you to your rooms. You will each have your own room upstairs."

As we ascend the stairs, there are four rooms on the upper level. Rose and Alice are placed in the front two rooms and I am left with the room in the back. It has a queen bed that has a white screen canopy hanging down over it, with a white down comforter and huge fluffy pillows. As I walk over to the window, I can see why people might actually like to live here. There are acres beyond acres of farmland, with green rolling hills in the distance. Off to the left, I notice a swimming pool with an infinity edge. Off to the right, more farmland. As I gaze farther beyond, I am struck with the sight of a familiar golden color. My heart immediately begins to race. Damn this place is way too close to Peter's.

_Calm down Bella, he can't see you._

Suddenly, I am very aware of how incredibly exhausted I am. I kick off my wedge's and plop myself onto the bed. Almost as soon as my head hits the pillow I am out. What seems like minutes later, I hear a click of the door handle.

"Bella, get your lazy ass out of bed, we're going swimming," Rose says as she stands over me.

"What… leave me alone. I'm tired. I didn't even bring a suit." The words barely escape my mouth before I feel a fabric on my face.

"This is precisely why I always bring an extra," Rose says with excitement.

"The way you pack Rose, you probably have 15 different ones in your suitcase," I mutter into the pillow.

"A girl can never be too sure."

I flip back over so that I am facing Rose, and I hold the swimsuit up against me, "I don't know Rosalie, don't you think they might be a little big on me."

"Fuck you Bella. I'm not fat. Just put it on and get your ass out there," she says as she turns on her heel and leaves the room.

I slide myself out of bed and strip down.

_When in the hell did these things get so skimpy? _

There is barely enough material to cover my girl bits. As I slide it on, I make sure the ties on the side are tied tightly. Just what I would need would be a wardrobe malfunction for all to see. Unintentionally, I do a twirl in front of the full length mirror. I slid on my flip flops, noticing that Rose left me a towel on the chair. I wrap myself up in it and head downstairs. As I walk through the kitchen, I run into Tanya.

"They're out back. Go ahead and make yourself feel comfortable. If you need anything please let me know."

"Thank you Tanya. I really appreciate it."

As I step outside, I notice that I don't have my sunglasses. I must have left them in Rose's car. I run back into the house and grab her keys off the counter. When I walk out to the car, I pop the trunk and as I go to grab my suitcase, I hear the sound of crunching gravel. I turn around, and I see a silver truck making its way up the driveway. The truck pulls up next to Rose's mustang and shuts off. A man jumps out from the passenger side. He has longer, wavy blonde hair and a killer smile.

"Howdy ma'am. My name's Jackson, we met the other night at The Cadillac Ranch."

"Oh yes. I remember you. Do you need something?" I ask.

"Well, my Uncle Peter mentioned that you girls were staying here for a little while and I wanted to invite you girls out tonight, if you would be interested in doing so."

"Umm, I don't know what we have planned, but if you want to come down and talk to Alice, you're more than welcome to."

"That would be great. Thanks! Hey Edward, why don't you get your moody ass out of the car and join us," he says over his shoulder.

As soon as he says it, the driver's side door clicks open. My heart instantly starts to race. As he emerges from the truck, I notice what he is wearing: brown cowboy boots, wranglers, a black v-neck cotton shirt and a white cowboy hat.

"Well, you can follow me down to the pool. We were just about to go swimming," I say as I start to head towards the pool.

"Don't mind if we do," Jackson says.

Suddenly I am hyper aware of my surroundings. I am in nothing but a towel and a skimpy bikini around two of the best looking boys I have ever seen. As we make it to the pool, I notice that neither Alice nor Rosalie are actually swimming. They are both lying on chaises in the sun.

Rosalie seems to be sleeping, while Alice is laying there listening to her iPod. I tap Alice on the shoulder, startling her.

"Hey Alice. I got someone here who wants to talk you."

Alice pans from my face, to Jackson's. A smile instantly spreads across her face.

"I was wondering if I would ever see you again," she says.

"I was trying my hardest ma'am," Jackson laughs.

I scan the pool side and notice an open chaise. But then I immediately notice that the chaise to the right, is occupied.

_Ok Bella. He's just a man. You don't even have to say anything to him. Just walk over, plop your butt down in the chaise, put your headphones in and ignore him_.

As I walk around the edge of the pool, I walk right past him. He has his head down and seems to be playing with his phone. As I round the corner of the chaise, I let my towel drop from my body ever so slightly. I fling it onto the chaise, smoothing out the corners and lay down. I sit there for a couple seconds, hoping that Edward might want to engage in some sort of conversation but after about a minute, I give up and put my headphones in.

A familiar sound rings through my ears as I close my eyes:

_Young and full of running_

_Tell me where has that taken me?_

_Just a great figure eight or a tiny infinity?_

_Love is really nothing_

_But a dream that keeps waking me,_

_For all of my trying_

_We still end up dying, how can it be?_

_Don't say a word just come over and lie here with me,_

_'Cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see,_

_I want you so bad, I'll go back on the things I believed,_

_There I just said it, I'm scared you'll forget about me._

As soon as I start to relax, I feel a tap on my knee. When I open my eyes, those familiar green ones are staring back at me, this time matched with a smile.

"What are you listening to?" Edward's soft velvety voice rings out. I pull one ear bud from my ear.

"Umm John Mayer. Why?" I blurt out.

"Oh I was just umm…wondering," he says.

I could feel the warmth rising in my cheeks.

"I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself properly earlier, I'm Edward Masen," he says as he holds his hand out towards me.

I hesitate, but grab his hand. I am instantly overcome by a tingling sensation throughout my body. My hearing becomes muffled and all I can see is this beautiful man in front of me. I notice that his mouth is moving, but I can seem to hear what he is saying. I feel his hand slip from mine.

"I'm sorry, I didn't seem to catch what you said."

"I said would you like to come to see me ride tonight?"

_Seriously? Boy is giving my whiplash. Where did this 'nice guy' routine come from and what happened to the asshole that was occupying this same body just a few hours ago?_

"Umm yeah I'd love to," I blurt out, my mouth obviously not having a conversation with my brain. The creature smiles and it is the most beautiful sight in the world. As I am lost in this moment, I hear a shout come from behind me.

"CANNONBALL!"

As I turn around, I see Jackson jumping into the pool, with nothing but his boxer on. Before I have time to run, a huge tidal wave of water comes down upon Edward and I. We are soaked. Immediately after, Rose and Alice are doing duel cannonballs at the same time.

"Bella. Edward. Get your asses in here now!" Rose screams from the pool.

I turn to Edward.

"Last one in is a rotten egg," I say as I bolt from the lounge chair. Running towards the edge of the pool, I push my feet off the edge and tuck my knees to my chest.

_Time to show the others how it's really done. _

My body hits the pool and I am enveloped by the cold water. As I come up, I see the looks on the other's face.

"Wow Bella, I've seen bigger waves in a toilet," Rose shouts from the other end of the pool.

"Haha very funny Rose."

I turn around to look at Edward, who at the moment is undressing. It's almost like in the movies, where everything around you becomes blurry, except for the sole thing that has your concentration. As soon he pulls off his boots, he takes off his hat and the he lifts his shirt up and over his head. His chest is chiseled, but not in the body builder type. He begins to undo his belt buckle, but decides to leave them on.

_Not fair._

He jumps up and over me and does the biggest cannonball I have ever seen. His golden hair surfaces, now darker from the water. And that smile, I swear it's going to be the death of me.

"I don't think there's any water left in the pool after that one," I say, giggling.

"So…Bella…what's your story?" he asks.

"Well let's see. I'm 21 years old and I came out here with Rose and Alice for the summer. Oh and I hate peas," I explain, keeping it as vague as possible. "What's your story Edward?"

"I'm 24 years old, and I ride bulls."

_Touché. _

Talking to him comes easy to me. I don't really know why. We are silent for a couple minutes until I hear his phone chime from the chaise

"Duty calls. I better get going, I have to go get ready to ride, but it was really nice cooling down with you Bella."

"It was really nice talking to you as well. We'll try to make it down tonight… but I'm not sure."

_That's right Bella, keep him guessing._

"OK, well I hope to see you there." He lifts himself out of the pool as if it takes no effort at all and then quickly turns back to me. "And Bella, I'm sorry about… earlier. Jake brings out… Well, let's just say he and I don't get along."

He doesn't wait for me to respond. Edward leaves the pool side and scoops up his pile of clothing. Watching him walk away was one of the best sights I have ever seen. His wet pants were clinging to his backside, the water glistening off his back makes me want to run my tongue up and down it. Before I know it, a whistle escapes from my lips. As he turns towards me, a grin spreads across his lips. I instantly duck underneath the water.

_God I'm such a pussy. _

After Edward and Jackson leave, we get out of the pool, and head back inside.

"So are we heading over tonight or what?" Rose says

"Well I already told Jackson I would meet him there so I'm in."

"Bella?"

"Yeah we can go," I say with a small smile across my face.

"Ooooh Looks like someone has a crush," Alice teases.

"Come on Bella, we can go check out Romeo," Rose says as she puts her arm over my shoulder.

As soon as I get back into my room, I immediately jump in the shower, the smell of chlorine washing away from me. As I wash my hair and my body, I can't stop thinking about him. His eyes, his chest, his smile, his hair, his ass. The familiar tightening in my stomach starts to build up. I reach up and grab the shower head and turn it to its highest setting. As I put one foot up on the edge of the bathtub, I place the water stream close to my clit. Almost immediately, I start to feel a tingling sensation in my fingers and toes. My legs begin to shake with pleasure. The burn inside grows and I am lost. Before I know it, my orgasm takes over my body. I whimper quietly, hoping that no one hears me. When it is over, I am winded.

_Shit, it's been too long since I did that last. _

As I pull myself from the warm shower, I am immediately hit with butterflies that I can't seem to shake. The whole ride I feel like I'm going to throw up.

As we pull up to the stadium, the place is riddled with people. My heart begins to race, knowing that Edward can't be far. We start walking towards the stadium, when we run into Jackson.

"Ladies! I'm so glad you made it!" He throws his arm over Alice's shoulder. "If you follow me, we can go in the back, through the rider's entrance" he says, winking at me.

As we walk around the back, the overbearing smell of animals hits me. As we continue on, we have to maneuver through a lot of people, most of them men. When we make it over to a less crowded corner, we walk up to a tall man wearing Wrangler's, a pair of black cowboy boots and a red and grey checkered button up shirt. He has his back to us and is talking to what I assume is a rider, considering the vest he is wearing.

I may not actively watch bull riding but I at least know what they wear.

The tall man turns toward us and speaks to Jackson. "Hey man, how did you luck out being with all these beautiful women?" he says.

"You know me Emmett, I've got mad skills with the ladies." They laugh in unison. "This is Alice, Rosalie and Bella"

"Evening ladies." He tips his hat towards us.

All of us blush.

"Listen, I'd love to hang around all you gorgeous ladies all night long, but I've gotta go help Edward in the chute. Hey Jackson, why don't you take them over to the side and so they can watch."

As we walk over to the viewing platform, I soon realize that this is for friends and family of the riders. To say the least, I feel very out of place. As Jackson lead us, I couldn't help but notice that a large group of these women must be wives and girlfriends, each of them wearing so much makeup on they would need a paint scraper to take it all off. To say the least, all eyes were on them. A voice over the loud speaker distracts me.

"**AND UP NEXT….ONE OF THE YOUNGEST TOP BULLRIDER'S IN THE COUNTRY…NUMBER 18….EDWARD MASEN"**

When I heard his name, the butterflies in my stomach began to flutter at an alarming rate, again almost to the point of nausea. That is until I hear someone else scream his name.

I look over and see one of the bimbos standing on her chair, screaming in the general direction of arena.

"Come on Edward baby! You can do it!" the blonde girl screams.

_Oh shit. She must be his girlfriend. Why the fuck did he invite me here if he has a girlfriend who looks like THAT!_

I have never wanted to hit someone and run so much in my life. I can feel my knuckles tightening. Disappointment courses through me. How can someone I barely know have this much of an impact on me? Alice and Rose look over at me, both giving sympathetic expressions. I wanted to leave, but my feet seemed to be concreted into the ground. All I see is Edward. There were about 7 guys crowded around him, helping him get settled in. Edward climbs up and over the gate and sits himself on top of the bull. Emmett, who is carrying a big rope, helps Edward fasten his right hand under the loop on top. Before I know it, the chute is opened. Edward is being thrown back and forth while the bull whips around in ever changing directions. But just as soon as it starts, it's over. Edward is thrown from the bull and lands face up on the ground. As he tries to scramble away, the bull leans down and grazes it horn against his arm.

As this is happening, I shriek, loudly.

Everyone in my general vicinity stares at me, including the blonde girl. My cheeks instantly become red. Diverting my attention back to the arena, I see Edward has climbed up the fence and out of the arena. My heart begins to slow to a regular pace. Trying to divert everyone's attention from me…I ask Jackson how the scoring works.

"So, he only stayed on for 2 seconds. Is that good or bad?"

"That's bad. The ride is scored from 0-100 points. Both the rider and the bull are awarded points. There are usually two judges, each judge scoring the bull from 0-25 points, and the rider from 0-25 points. The combined point totals from both judges make up the final score for the ride. Points are usually deducted if a rider is constantly off-balance. For points to actually be awarded the rider must stay mounted for a minimum of 8 seconds, and is only scored for his actions during those 8 seconds. The ability to control the bull well allows riders to gain extra "style" points. These are often gained by spurring the animal. A rider can be disqualified for touching the bull, the rope, or themselves with their free arm."

"Wow, seems complicated," I murmur.

"Yeah it can be, a lot of things can go wrong in the blink of an eye. Most say that those 8 seconds are the most dangerous 8 seconds in sports."

"And have men died riding bulls?" I ask.

"You betcha…"

I had about heard all I wanted to hear.

"Come on then, let go see Edward. Just watch out, he's probably in a bad mood," Jackson says.

As we leave the platform, we make our way down a hallway and into a small room. There is a row of medical tables, each of them holding a rider. Yet again, I feel like I am somewhere I shouldn't be. As we walk the length of the tables we are greeted with hollers and whistles.

_Men. _

When we get to the last table, my heart falls out of my chest. Edward is lying on the table, his shirt and vest at his side. The doctor is standing over him, looking at his arm. All I see is red.

Small black spots begin to span across my field of vision and the room starts to spin. The last thing I hear is someone screaming my name.

0o0o0o0

When I come to, I am on one of the medical beds. The room is eerily quiet, much unlike the state it was previously in. I think I am alone so I start to get up. As I lift my body off the table with my elbows, I notice a person. Edward is sitting in a chair across the room, his head facing the ground, with his hands in his hair. As I shift on the bed, his head snaps up.

"Please don't get up," he pleads as he walks towards me. "The doctor said you will be fine, but you need to relax for a bit."

"Ok" is the only word I can muster up.

"You had everyone scared there for a while. You went down like a sack of potatoes."

"Yeah, I get a little skittish when I see blood."

"Shit, maybe having Jackson bring you back here wasn't the best of ideas huh?" he says, a grin falls across his face.

My heart palpitates.

"Yeah I guess not," I grin back. "I'm sorry about your ride, Jackson said that wasn't a good one."

"Nothing for you to be sorry about."

I start to hear a faint buzzing sound. Edward pulls his cell phone out of his pocket, furrowing his brow as he reads something on the screen. He puts his phone back in his pocket.

"Listen, I've got to go. Do you think you can try to get up?" he asks.

"Umm, yeah I think so."

As I start to lean forward more, he places his hand on the small of my back. I know he is doing this to make sure I don't fall, but his touch feels so much more than that.

"Take it easy sweetheart," he says as he helps me to my feet.

_Sweetheart?_

When I get my bearings, I notice how close in proximity we are. Much like the barn, I can feel the heat radiating off his body. His scent, a mixture of dirt, sweat and a hint of cologne swirls in my nose. It is oddly intoxicating. I have to crane my neck upward to look him in the face. His forceful eyes hold their gaze, and we just stand there staring at each other, his hand still on my back.

"Edward? You ready to go?" I turn my head so that I can look past him and notice a blond girl looking back at us.

I look back at Edward and I notice that he has his eyes closed.

"Yeah, just give me one second Elizabeth," he says with his eyes still squeezed shut.

"Well…I better get going. Thanks for making sure I was ok Edward."

He snaps his eyes open again, not saying a word. And just like that, I leave the room.

As I walk down the hallway, I begin to hear Rose's laughter and when I turn the corner, I see them. Alice is in Jackson's lap, Rose on Emmett's.

_Great, now I'm the fifth wheel. _

"What do you say ladies?" Emmett asks, looking at each of us.

"Say to what?" I question.

"A buddy of mine is having a party out on his property. It's pretty far out in the country, so we never have to worry about the cops breaking it up. There will be plenty of booze and hot women," he says smirking.

"Well, except for the women it sounds great. We're going!" Rosalie exclaims.

_Could this night get any shittier? _

As we walk out to the parking lot, my eyes scan for a sight of a familiar truck. It's when we reach Emmett's pick-up that my eyes widen. His truck fits him like a glove. It is a large black Ford, with dark tinted windows and a tall lift. I start to wonder how I'm going to get into it.

"Hey Edward, you going to meet us there?" Emmett bellows.

I whip around to see Edward standing at the head of Emmett's truck, alone.

"Yeah man, but I'm not squeezing my ass in that thing with all of you, I'll just meet you over there."

"Hey Bella, why don't you ride with Edward," Rose says, clearly knowing how much she pisses me off.

I turn to Edward. He doesn't look pleased.

"Come on then," Edward huffs.

Everyone else jumps into Emmett's truck and I stand there, confused.

_Jesus. Mood swings much? He was sweet a minute ago…_

Emmett peels out of the parking lot, screaming "Get a move on it you fuckers, we've got titties and beer waiting for us" out the window.

I look at Edward, and I start to follow him. As we walk together, we are only inches away, but it might as well be miles. As I go to grab the passenger side handle I am stop because Edward is already holding it open for me. I think I start to blush.

As I get situated inside, I am astounded by the vehicle. The inside is orange and black leather, reminding me more of a racing car then a truck. The dash is covered by what seems like every gadget and button known to man. It is clear that this truck is not cheap. Edward climbs into the driver's seat, immediately turning on the stereo. Oh perfect…now I don't have to pretend that I don't want to talk to him.

As we drive on, I begin to notice that we are making our way out of town and are traveling pretty far into the country. I look out the window and the scenery is breath taking. The moon is high in the sky, shining a silver shadow on the ground. We make our way down a dirt driveway, I begin to see a parking lot full of cars. Edward pulls up next to Emmett's and gets out. As I see him exit, he walks around the hood and opens my car door for me. I am shocked to see that he is holding his hand out as I climb out. I take it hesitantly. When my feet hit the ground, I look at him and try to remove my hand from his, but his grip tightens.

"Be safe," he says, releasing his hand from mine and walks away.

_I swear this boys mood swings are giving me whiplash._

I am alone and have no choice but to follow him. As we make it inside, I am overcome by the amount of noise that is coming from this place. I feel like my ears are going to bleed. I look over towards the kitchen and I see Alice, along with Jackson.

"BELLA!" Alice screams as she runs towards me.

"Jesus Alice, I just saw you like 10 minutes ago. Where is Rosalie?"

"She ran off with Emmett…if you know what I mean," she says as she jabs her elbow into my side.

_Jesus. That didn't take long. _

"Here Bella, you look like you can use one of these," Jackson says, handing me a beer.

I'm not much of a drinker, but tonight is defiantly an exception. Without another thought, I begin to chug it. When I get about ¾ of the way done, I start to cough.

"Woah there…take it easy," Jackson chuckles. "There's plenty more where that came from, no need to rush."

Alice and Jackson meander back over to the couch in the living room. I notice that there is an empty chair next to it, so I take this opportunity to sit. I notice that people are dancing in this room, so I take this in as a certain form of entertainment. Most songs are fast country ones so I'm not really paying attention, but watching the people dancing is entertaining. The way they move together is amazing, the man always leading the woman.

"Bella, follow me," Alice says at my side.

I follow her back into the kitchen. Emmett and Rose are in the back, along with Jackson. As we make it closer to them, I see him. He is surrounded by a different group of people. As soon as I spot him, his eyes lock with mine. Sometimes I feel like he knows that I am near, like he is waiting for me to show up.

"Bella? Hello?" Alice says waving a shot glass filled with clear liquid in front of my face. I wave my beer cup up in front of her, clearly telling her I have enough.

"Oh come on Bella...just one?" she pleads.

"Alice, really I'm fine. If I drink too much, I will be a stumbling idiot," I say.

"We wouldn't want an angel falling from the sky now, would we?" a familiar voice says behind me.

_Not again. _

As I swing around, Jake is standing right beside me.

"Ok, now I think you are stalking me," I utter.

"Hey Jake! Didn't think you were going to make it out tonight," Emmett bellows.

"Yeah well I wasn't planning on it, until I got wind these beautiful women here were coming," Jake laughs. "So Bella how's the foot?"

"Its fine thanks," I say, looking down at my hands. The room gets quiet, the music has shut off.

As I look back, I notice that Edward has stopped paying attention to the people around him, and is staring at the situation playing out in front of me. I can feel the burn flowing in my cheeks. As much as I want to look away, I don't. Before I know it we're sort of in this awkward staring match until he squints his eyes, while slowing shaking his head side to side.

_Who the hell does he think he is? Two can play this game Mr. Bipolar Redneck. _

I get up from my stool and grab the shot that was placed in front of me, downing it in one gulp. It burns, cutting off my air supply. My body coughs and wheezes, trying to regain its breathing capability.

"Woah. You all right?" Jake says, placing his hand on my back.

My body recoils from the contact.

"Yeah I'm fine."

I look back up at Edward who is still staring, but I can now see the furry in his eyes. A new song comes over the speakers. Jake takes my hand, leading me to the dance floor. My body is screaming no, but I can't find the willpower to stop myself. Jake takes my arms and places them around his neck, him putting his hands on my hips. As the song continues, I am consumed in the words:

_"Come a little closer, baby_

_I feel like layin' you down_

_On a bed sweet surrender_

_Where we can work it all out_

_There ain't nothin' that love can't fix_

_Girl, it's right here at our fingertips_

_So come a little closer baby,_

_I feel like layin' you down"_

As the song continues, I can feel Jake's grip on me tighten. I start to feel that shot linger in my body. I start to loosen up, for once I feel free and happy, often giggling for no reason. My arms tighten around Jake's neck, resulting in making the distance between us less. Jake's hands slowly slide from my hips and palm my back, lifting my shirt up in the back ever so slightly. His hands still feel good. I look into his eyes, and as he looks back at me, and I can see compassion in his eyes. Maybe he might not be so bad after all. Then without speaking, he leans down toward me, and I instinctively stand up on the tips of my toes. Our faces are mere inches away from each other.

_Just let this happen Bella. What have you got to lose? _

I close my eyes, parting my lips, waiting for his to reach mine. But they never do. I feel his body jolt back and soon his arms are removed from my back. I shoot open my eyes and I see Jake on the ground, Edward on top of him. They continue to hit each other, not caring about the amount of blood each of them is oozing.

"Jesus Christ Edward! Knock it the fuck off," Jackson screams, trying to pull Edward from Jake.

Emmett and Jackson manage to pull Edward off, but I can still see the rage burning inside of him.

"What the fuck is your problem Masen?" Jake shouts from the ground.

"I told you to stay away from her yesterday didn't I?" Edward screams.

_What?_

"Why the hell do you care huh Edward? You've got more women than you know what to do with, all of them flocking to you like you were god's gift to women. Why her? What does she mean to you?" Jacob asks.

Edward straightens his shirt.

"Nothing…absolutely nothing," he mutters.


	4. Chapter 4  Half of My Heart

"_Nothing" Edward sighs. "Absolutely nothing." _

And that was the first night Edward Masen broke my heart.

My heart didn't want to acknowledge what Edward just said.

_I am nothing to him. _

The words swirl around in my head. As much as I wanted to run away, my body wasn't going to allow it. I want to confront him and demand to know what the hell his problem is, but I can't seem to muster up the words.

"So why don't you mind your own fucking business then Masen" Jake says.

"Yeah" I blurt out.

Edward's eyes shift to mine, showing no emotion. That when he turns around and walks out the front door. I just stare at the front door, even long after he is gone. I peel my eyes away and look up to see Jake looking back down at me.

"Fucking dick. I'm so tired of his bullshit. Are you ok Bella?" Jake inquires.

"Yeah I'm fine," I spit out, clearly lying. "Listen Jake, you're a really nice guy but I can't get involved with anyone, especially someone who lives here," I lie again.

I soon realize that everyone is looking at Jake and me, my cheek begin to warm.

_I need to get out of here. _

I make a break for the door, no one stopping me. The air outside feels nice…warm but nothing compared to the air inside there. I stroll over to a large boulder and sit down. The moon is high in the sky, the stars twinkling. Would be romantic if it was under different circumstances.

I close my eyes, thinking about the situation that just played out in front of me, almost hyperventilating in the process. I soon realize that my feelings are irrational. When was it ever apparent that Edward DID have feelings for me? When did this physical attraction to him become more that just that?

As I am lost in thought, I hear a door slam shut and the roar of an engine. I snap my eyes open, and a pair of headlights blinds me. Immediately I know who is in front of me. The black truck pulls out of its parking spot and pulls up beside of me. Edward rolls the window down, while one hand is white knuckled against the steering wheel. As I look at him, he unlocks the door, without speaking a word.

I get up from the ground, and climb in the passenger's seat. A part of me wanted to tell him to fuck off, but a stronger part is mysteriously drawn to this man. My mind feels like I shouldn't be for so many reasons. He is constantly giving me mixed signals, which I can only explain as infuriating. One minute he's seems interested in me and the next he's going off with that blonde for his nightly booty call. My body seems to be having an inner struggle. Half saying go for it while the other half is telling me to stay far away.

So here I am, once again a slave for this man's punishment. I don't know where we are going, but I also don't seem to care. The entire ride we remain silent, both of us just look out the window. We drive along the freeway for some time, until he whips the truck off to the shoulder and turns the engine off.

_This was a bad idea Bella_

My heart begins to race. Keeping with our silent state, he pulls off his seatbelt and exits the truck. Before I have time to get my seatbelt off, he is on the passenger side, holding my door open. I give him a confused look.

"So come take a walk with me. I swear I'm not taking you out here to kill you," he says, grinning.

God that smile could light up my darkest day.

_Knock it off Bella. _

"Guess I'll leave my pepper spray in my purse then," I retort.

I pull my body from the truck and stand there looking at him and wait until he starts walking. He walks around the back of his truck, grabbing two flashlights from his toolbox, handing one to me. I follow him as we enter the woods. This place is scary at dark, but being with Edward gives me the unusual sense of security. We walk for what seems like forever, until the ground seems to drop off. Edward sits down, letting his feet dangle. He looks up at me, and pats the ground next to him, mouthing the world 'please' to me. I sit next to Edward, and stare out at the sight in front of us. We are now looking out over the city, the lights of the town illuminating the sky around us. Edward grabs something from inside his coat pocket, and places it to his lips. He holds is out to me, I shake my head.

"Suit yourself," he says, taking another swig.

"You really think drinking while we hang off the side of a cliff is a good idea?" I ask nervously.

"Don't worry Bella, I won't let you fall," he responds.

"It's not me I'm worried about," I say lifting my eyebrow.

He doesn't respond back.

I close my eyes, taking in the peacefulness, wanting to say so much, but nothing ever coming out. This is ridiculous

_What am I doing out in the woods with a boy who, a mere half hour ago, said that I meant nothing to him?_

I start to get up, but Edward grabs my wrist.

"Bella, don't go…please can you sit back down," he says looking up at me.

"Why should I?"

"Because I want you here," he declares.

After standing there for a couple seconds, my emotions over rule my mind and sit back down.

"I've been coming here for years. When I used to get in fight's with my father, I would walk here. It was always the spot where I come to think. Do you know why this is my favorite spot Bella?" He turns to look at me.

"No," I whisper.

"Because it's the only place that is quiet in my life," Edward explains. "My life is constantly on the go, people always wanting things from me, my father pressuring me to always do well, people always knowing my personal life. I never have any real, alone quiet time."

_Whiplash number one million and one. _

"Well, if you want to be alone, maybe I should just go," I say as I go to get up again.

Edward grabs the back of my pants, slamming my butt into the ground.

"Bella, if I wanted to be alone, I wouldn't have brought you. I thought you would be the only other person who would enjoy the quiet as much as me. I am drawn to you Bella, and I can't explain why. It intrigues me that you aren't intimidated by me, or my fame. You seem like a genuinely good person, and that scares me."

"You don't know anything about me," I mutter under my breath, but he doesn't catch it.

We sit in the silence for a while longer, the quietness actually getting under my skin. That is until a faint buzzing comes from his pocket. He pulls it out, the glow from the screen lighting up his face. He lets out a big sigh.

"So much for peace and quiet. I gotta go….Eliz…umm I mean…someone needs me right now"

_Oh great. He's leaving me to go see...the...the blonde?_

"Don't worry. I know who she is, remember the doctor's room?"

"Oh…right. Well I better get you back to your friends and… Jacob"

"Edward, it's not what you think…"

He stops me mid-sentence. "Bella, it's not really my concern."

_Whiplash one million and two_

And just like that he bolts from the ground, and heads back into the woods. I sit there, dumbfounded. Soon realizing that I am alone, I get up and walk in the same direction as him, seeing the stream of light from his flashlight in front of me. Edward doesn't seem to be waiting for me, and it pisses me off. At that moment that I decide that I'm done with this bullshit. As I make it to the truck, instead of hoping in…I walk right past it, heading back in the direction of town.

I hear the passenger door slam. Hmm, I guess he was doing the "gentleman" thing once again. I then hear another door slam, assuming that it must have been the driver's side this time. The headlights light up the ground in front of me and I notice that he is by my side, driving down the middle of the two lanes at an incredibly slow pace.

"Bella, what the fuck. Get in the truck," he bellows.

"No," I state.

He breathes in deeply through his nose "Bella…get in the truck NOW" he screams at me.

"Fuck off! I don't mean anything to you so why the hell do you care what happens to me?" I scream back.

"If you only knew," he says at a volume so low I barely catch it, before driving off.

_Great Bella, now you're alone in the dark, in the woods._

I reach into my pocket, realizing that I left my purse, along with my phone, back at the party.

I begin walking at a little faster pace, hoping to get to town quick. With no gauge of time, I walk for what feels like forever. My feet begin to hurt, so I decide this is the time to rest. I pick to sit on a large rock on the side of the road. The stinging sensation in my eyes becomes too much and tears start to roll down my face. I hide put my hands to my face, effectively trying to wipe them away as fast as they fall. I don't even look up when I hear a car approaching.

_Great, he's come back to humiliate me some more. _

That's until I hear a familiar female voice.

"Bella! What the fuck is going on? Are you ok?" Alice comes running up, embracing me in her arms.

"What the fuck happened? Did that fucker hurt you…because I will rip his dick off and shove it down his throat if he tried anything with you," Rose spats.

"No he didn't. I'm fine. It's actually what he DIDN'T do that is the problem," I utter. "Wait, how did you know where I was?" I ask.

Before anyone answers, Emmett storms up to us and my heart begins to race, not knowing what his reaction to all this is will be. He is Edward's friend and fellow bull rider after all.

"Bella bee… are you all right? You had us all worried," he asks.

"I'm fine Emmett, but I still want to know how you guys knew where I was," I repeat.

Emmett sighs. "Do you really think Edward would have just left you out here…alone? He may be an asshole, but he's not THAT much of an asshole. He figured he would just give you your space, so he called and told me to pick you up. Told me your exact location…what he didn't want me to tell you is that he is hiding just up the road." He smirks.

As I look down the road, I see two red taillights driving away from us.

"I just don't get it Emmett. Every time I feel like he is going to open up, he shuts down tighter than Fort Knox."

"Aw man Bella, Edward is complicated. He's got a lot of his plate. Don't take it personally."

_Easier said than done._

"Can we get the fuck out of here…this place is spooky." Rose says, holding herself with her arms.

"Yeah let's get out of here sugar tits," he says to Rose.

Sometime I just don't get it. Emmett and Rosalie met tonight and they are already acting like they have known each other for years. Some people have all the luck.

As I walk over to Emmett's truck, I begin to ponder how I'm going to get into this thing. I open the rear passenger door and struck with the sight of Jackson.

"Bella…YOU'RE ALIVE!" Jackson says, clearly intoxicated.

"Hey Jackson," I mutter.

As I try to climb up the step, I feel two hands at my side. Before I have time to react, I am lifted into the truck easily. I look back to see Emmett behind me.

"Thanks," I say smirking

"No problem Bella bee," he returns the smile.

_Looks like I have a new nickname. _

My apparent tiredness takes over and I am woken up when we are back at Tanya's house.

"Bella, we gotta go," I hear as Alice shakes my knee.

I pull myself from the truck, almost falling flat on my face, forgetting yet once again the height of the lift.

"Thanks guys, for everything," I say as Jackson climbs from the back seat to the front.

"Anytime Bella bee," Emmett says

We walk into the house and I immediately head for my bedroom.

"Are you going to be alight Bella, do you want me to stay with you?" Alice asks.

"I'm fine Alice. Edward Masen is not worth the tears. I'm going to pretend that he never existed."

"If you think that's what's best," Alice shrugs.

"I do."

When I reach my bedroom, my body free falls onto the bed facedown. It isn't until noon the next day that I wake up. My head has a dull pain. Guess that shot wasn't a very good idea. I walk downstairs, where Alice and Rose are sitting on the couch.

"Well it's about time you graced us with your presence" Rose says, looking up from her coffee cup.

"Looks like you are in about the same condition that I am," I mutter to them.

"Yeah, remind me to never drink moonshine again," Alice pipes.

"Ditto," I say.

"So what's the plan for today?" I ask as I pour a cup of coffee for myself.

"Well our aunt had to take off for an emergency meeting back east, she said she'll be gone for at least a week," Rose explains.

"So were going SHOPPING!" Alice screams.

_Great._

"So go get your little ass ready," Rose says walking over to me.

I take my cup of coffee and head back up stairs. I jump into the shower, it becoming my favorite place to be. After I get out, I feel a little less….disgusting.

I wrap myself in a towel, brushing my teeth and hair. As I enter the room, my eyes lay upon a figure, sitting on top of my bed. Edward. I gasp, almost losing the hold of my towel.

"Oh good…you are alive," Edward states.

"Didn't think I could handle myself?" I ask, trying to be strong.

"No Bella, I think you are more than capable than handling yourself."

"You know I should be thoroughly pissed at you right? You left me ALONE in the wood!" I shriek.

"I thought it was pretty obvious that you didn't want to be around me," he snaps.

"Then why the hell are you in my room? You couldn't come to the front door like a normal human being? And how the hell did you get in here anyways?"

"I CAN climb in through a window you know. I wanted to call and apologize for last night, but I realized I don't have your number. And I don't think Rose or Alice would have let me in if I knocked on the front door."

"Oh. Well you don't need to apologize, nothing happened last night."

"No, I acted like a complete ass, I'm sorry."

Not knowing what to say next, I blurt out the first thing that comes to my mind "Listen, the girls and I were going to go shopping, you wanna come?"

He looks up at me, lifting one of his eyebrows."Oh yeah, umm…shopping…boys…not a good mixture" I say, amused.

"Yeah...but when are you going to be back?" Maybe we can do dinner or something…ya know…later"

"Yeah, sure."

_Here we go again Bella. One minute you hate the ground he walks on and the next you are agreeing to have dinner with him. Its official, I've gone off the reservation. _

I hear footsteps coming up the stairs and soon there is a knock on my door. I run over and open it, only far enough to stick my head though.

Rose is staring straight at me. "You coming or what? I got ready before you and you know that NEVER happens. What are you doing in there? Playing with the pussycat? She smirks.

"SHUT UP Rosalie," I scream, blood rushing to my face. "I'll be down in 5 minutes"

I shut the door. "You have to go, I have to get ready."

"I don't think I need to leave for you to do that, in my opinion."

_Yeah right mister._

"Ha ha very funny. But seriously, I've got to go."

"Ok. Well just think about tonight and let me know." He says as he starts walking toward the door.

"Uhh…you have to go back out through the window. I will never hear the end of it if you go down those stairs"

"You've got to be fucking kidding me" Edward huffs, but starts walking towards the window, pushing it open. As he climbs back through he stands on the balcony for a minute but then pops his head back in.

"Oh Bella. I took the liberty of putting my number in your cell while you were in the shower. It's under 'Asshole'," he says, flashing one of his smiles.

I begin to feel weak in the knees. After I know that he is gone, I get dressed and go downstairs, seemingly in a better mood. And everyone notices.

"Wow Bella, you MUST have been brushing the beaver because I haven't seen you smile like that in a long time," Rose laughs.

"I took a shower, got dressed and came down Rose," I explain. "Let's go buy….some stuff"

Alice, Rose and I all pile into her Mustang, already sweating from the heat. As we pull up into the mall, we immediately hit a small café. Alice orders a chai tea, Rose gets a soy latte, while I stick with water. After we get our drinks, we sit at a small round table.

"So Bella, what really happened last night?" Alice inquires.

"Nothing really, he took me to this cliff that was apparently his favorite place in the city. He seemed like he wanted to talk, but he just kept shutting down. I had had enough and I started walking back. He got pissed and left," I shrug, sipping my drink.

"What a fucking dick," Rose spats.

"I think you should give him a chance Bella, he seems to be smitten with you" Alice says.

"Are we talking about the same Edward Masen?" I ask.

"I know you may not notice it Bella, but the way he looks at you. I have a feeling something is going to change between you too very soon," Alice smiles.

She must be insane, just like her sister.

As we sit there a little longer, I overhear the conversation between two girls, sitting at a table behind me.

"I'm supposed to go out to dinner with Edward tonight," one girl says.

_Don't worry Bella, it's probably not the same Edward. There are tons of Edwards in this town._

"You mean Edward, the fucking hot bull rider from the other night?" the other girl inquires.

My heart sinks.

"Yeah, he gave me his number the other night after he was done being occupied with a little brunette. Edward said she didn't put out, so I took care of him," She giggled.

A fire was burning hot in me and I turn around to face the girls, both of them not realizing that I am watching them. Before my brain was processing what my hand was doing, I throw my ice water in her face. She stands up abruptly, in the process throwing her chair backwards.

"What the fuck is your problem you little bitch?" she screams as she makes it around the table towards me.

Rose steps in front of me, blocking her from getting to me.

"You really want to back the fuck up before I hit you in your goddamn face you little slut," Rose barks.

"What the fuck did we do? I don't even…know…" her voice trails off. And that's when her face registers in my mind. One of them is the blonde from last night.

Not knowing what to say, I get up and leave, expecting the girl to follow me. Soon after, Rose and Alice are at my side.

"Holy shit Bella! I never knew you had it in you!" Rose squeals. "Wasn't one of those girls that was with Edward last night?"

"Yup."

"Do you want to go back to the house?" Alice asks.

"No, we came here to shop" I say.

"Well you don't have to worry about those girls coming to look for you, I set them straight" Rose says.

"Thanks, but I can handle myself you know."

"Sure you can," Rose smiles.

"Bite Me."

As we walk up to Victoria's Secret, I instantly sigh.

"You girls can go in there by yourself, I'll stay out here," I tell them.

"Whatever Bella," Rose says as she walks into the store.

I find a spot on a bench and sit down. As I begin to stew about the situation I witnessed at the coffee shop, the fire begins to stir again. I pull out my cell phone, scrolling down until I see "Asshole". I open a new message,

***I'm busy tonight and every night thereafter.***

I slip my phone back in my pocket. A couple minutes later, I feel a vibration. I pull it out. 1 new message.

***Is there something you want to explain to me Bella, because a mere hour ago you were free.***

Oh how this man infuriates me.

***Maybe you should ask the girl who you slept with yesterday. Blonde hair, big boobed. Ring any bells?***

I close my phone. It chimes again. As much as I want to ignore it, I am curious to see his response.

***Bella, I can explain that.***

_Sure you can._

***Save your breath Edward. Maybe it's best that we don't see each other again.***

I sit there, waiting for a response that never comes. Alice and Rose emerge from the store.

"You girls ready to go?" I ask.

"No, there's only one more store I wanna go to. It's just around the corner" Alice says.

As we round the corner, I lay my eyes on the store that we are going to. It's called Boot Barn and it is chalked full cowboy apparel. Everything in here reminds me of Edward.

_Awesome. _

As we enter, a familiar face appears in front of us.

"Hey girls! I was wondering if you were going to stop by!" Jackson exclaims.

"Hey, you work here Jackson?" I ask.

"That I do, just a summer job. I work part time here and part time at the bar," he explains.

"Cool." I say.

I walk past him, and start to peruse the merchandise. Alice follows Jackson back over to the counter while Rose follows me. We make it over to the boot section when Rose pulls out a pair of Justin's and faces towards me.

"Bella, these would look so cute on you. I'm going to buy them for you."

"When in the hell am I ever going to a pair of cowboy boots Rose?"

"You never know when these will become handy, or who will like them on you," she says, giving me a nudge.

I roll my eyes. I have to admit that they are pretty cute. Jackson comes strolling over.

"Need a particular size?"

"Um, yeah a size 7 please," Rose says.

Jackson comes back with a box in hand.

"These are Justin boots. They are really well made, defiantly worth the price." He explains.

I try them on, instantly feeling the comfort. Well, I guess I could use them back home during the winter time.

"Ok, I'll take them, but Rose, I CAN buy them for myself."

"Awesome. I'll keep them up at the counter whenever you are ready," Jackson says, walking away.

"Ok, well let me just go grab a pair of wranglers and I'll be set," Rose says.

I start to make my way over to the counter, and that is when I see Edward entering the store. Instinctively, I hid behind pole, but peak my head out to watch him.

_God Bella, you're such a coward. _

"Jackson, I need to talk to you man. It's driving me crazy," he says.

"Listen, I don't think now's a great time man," he says, nodding in my direction.

I whip my head back behind the pole, hoping he didn't see me. But before I know it, he is standing in front of me.

_Shit._

"Bella," he says softly.

I look down at the rack in front of me pretending that I was looking at the clothes.

"Can we talk? Please," he begs.

"I don't really have anything to say Edward. And if I did, now would be time and place. I will call you later if I feel like it," I say, nodding toward Alice and Rose, who are staring at us.

"Fine," he huffs. And just like that, he leaves again, a sight I'm beginning to become too familiar with.

I stroll up to the counter, giving Rose and Alice an "I don't want to talk about it" look.

"Is there anything else I can get you ladies?" Jackson asks.

"Nope, I think I've had about excitement for one day. How much do I owe you?"

"It's $153.37"

"For a pair of goddamn boots?" I blurt out, handing him my credit card anyways.

Rose pays for her jeans and we leave. When we make it back to the house, I am happy that we have some downtime. We have been here just a little over 24 hours and already so much has happened. When I get into the house, I immediately head up to my bedroom. I lie down on the bed and close my eyes when only moment later I hear a tap on the door.

I see Alice pop her head in. "Hey Bella, we were thinking about going out tonight? You wanna come with?"

"Nah, I think I'm just going to stay here tonight. Been a rough 24 hours ya know?" I say.

"Yeah. Well we'll be with Jackson and Emmett, if you need us both of us has our cells."

"Thanks Alice, have a good night"

"Night Bella" she answers.

Alice leaves and I am grateful for the peace and quiet. My eyelids start to drift off and I fall asleep, for a lot longer that I thought. I lean over at look at the alarm clock. It's already 9pm.

I get up, realizing that I am still in my clothes. I go over to my suitcase, pulling out my favorite sleep wear. It consists of an oversized Seattle University shirt and a pair of cotton shorts. As I pull my short on, I hear my stomach grumble, realizing I haven't eaten anything all day. As I walk down the stairs, I head to the kitchen. I glance through the pantry, realizing I can't make anything in here. Since I don't know anywhere around here to eat, nor do I have any means of transportation, I can only think of one thing.

I go over to the kitchen table and grab my phone. I scroll down until I find his number. I open a new text message

***Where do I get food around here in this shitty town?***

After a couple minutes, there is no answer. Guess he didn't want to talk after all.

Frustrated, I go over to my purse and throw my phone back into it. When I see the bag that holds my boots, I pull them out and slip the first one on my left food, then glide the right one on. I walk over to the full length mirror that is hung up in the living room.

_Not too bad._

I turn, looking at them from the backside. I hear a quiet rap on the door. I walk gently up to the door and stand on my tippytoes, looking through the peep hole. All I can see it a bill of a white cowboy hat. Not knowing who it is, I refuse to open the door. I hide behind the door, hoping they will leave.

"I know you're in there Bella. I saw you though the kitchen window when I pulled up"

_Oh god. _

I flip back around and slowly unlatch the deadbolt. Edward is standing there in all his glory. He is looking good, and dirty.

"Evening Bella," he says, tipping his hat towards me

"Hi" I say, trying to show no emotion.

_Who am I kidding? _

His shirt is clinging to him, obviously because he is sweating. I can see his chiseled chest underneath it. The memories of the pool flashes across my face. His jeans are covered in mud, visibly showing that he has been working out at the ranch.

"Sorry I didn't reply to your text earlier, I was out on the ranch helping my dad fix a stall in the barn."

"Oh, it's ok," I say, relieved that he wasn't doing it to ignore me.

"Oh and I'm also really sorry about last night. I have a lousy temper and you seem to push it to the edge."

"Well I'm sorry that I inconvenience you," I snap.

He sighs. "I never seem to know what to say around you Bella, it scares me."

"It scares you, why?"

"Because I spend plenty of time around women, and you are the only one who defies me."

"Listen, Edward I don't want to hear about all the WOMEN you hang around, if you are going to sit here and tell me them you can leave." I say as I start to shut the door in his face. I feel a large SMACK on the door, and it flies back open.

"Bella…I need to see you."

"And why is that Edward?"

"Can I come in?"

"Do I have a choice?" I mutter

I open the door a little more, allowing him to squeeze by me.

_Dirt, sweat and cologne._

I close the door behind him and lock it. We stand awkwardly in the foyer, not saying much.

He turns around and looks down giving me a random grin.

_Fuck Me. _

I look down, remembering what I am wearing.

"Nice boots….Bella" he says leaning towards me.

I can already feel the heat in my cheeks.

"You like them?" I say grinning.

He leans towards me, our faces close "So you still hungry or what little lady?"

"I'm starved" is all I can come up with.

"Well, there aren't any restaurants here that are good, so I was wondering if I could take you to my house. It's about 30 minutes from here, but I'm a fantastic cook," he gloats

Of course he can cook. He's good looking, has gobs of money, rides 2,000 pound animals…what else can he do?

"Um ok," I say, nervously.

"Listen Bella, I don't want to pressure you into anything. I will go wait in my truck, and if you don't come out in 10 minutes, I'll leave," he says, and then turns and leaves.

The sight of him leaving is really starting to bug me.

I stand there, deciding what I should do. After only a few minutes it's clear. I bolt upstairs, and grab a pair of jeans and my favorite top and put them on. I also put the boots back on, knowing that I am doing so because Edward likes them. I brush my hair and teeth and quickly apply my makeup. I run back downstairs, knowing that I must be short on time. I pull the front door open, running outside. His truck is gone.

My heart drops. I look down at the ground, small pools become evident in my eyes. As I turn to go back in the house, I am blinded by a flashing light. I look to my left and see Edward is parked down the driveway, flashing his high beams at me.

_Asshole._

He starts his truck, the engine roaring to life. He pulls up in front of me and jumps out. He comes around to the passenger side and holds the door open for me.

"You're awful polite for someone who is such an asshole," I spat.

He says nothing, but laughs instead. Just as I think he is about to close the door, he grabs my seatbelt, reaching around me as he clips it in. In the process, he grazes his thumb across my hip. I immediately feel a buzz throughout my body. I look up, his face inches from mine. He pulls away from me and I think I pout my lip unconsciously. He climbs back into the driver seat and pulls out of the driveway.

Watching him is one of my favorite things to do. He stares forward at the road, holding onto the steering wheel tightly, making is bicep flex. As he holds on, his fingers are drumming along with the music, which is loud and the base beats in my body. He looks over at me, and then pats the seat next to him, much like he did last night. I unbuckle my seat belt and slide over. I am now directly in the middle of the bench. I can't help but notice that our thighs are up against each other, again his touch sending me into a frenzy. A moment later, he lifts his arm up, resting it on the back of the seat, and effectively around me. I feel insanely relaxed at this moment, and I let my body unstiffen a bit. After about 15 minutes, I feel my head fall and I fall asleep. I wake up to someone tapping me and I open my eyes. All I see is the underneath of Edwards chin. I don't know how a chin could be so perfect, but his is.

"Hey Bella, were just pulling into my house. I didn't want to wake you, you looked so peaceful" he says.

_Did I really just fall asleep on his shoulder? I think so._

As we pull up to his house, I can't help but hang my mouth open. His house is huge and showy, much like his truck. It clearly has cost him a lot. We drive up to the garage when Edward pushes one of the many buttons on his truck dash. One of the four garage doors opens and he slowly pulls in. He parks, gets out and as usual, comes and opens my door.

I climb out and take in what's around me. His garage is stuffed, but somehow organized. To the right I notice a ski boat, two ATV's, and a Ducati. To the right, I see what I guess is a car, but it's covered with a car cover.

I look at Edward, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, um…I have a lot of hobbies," he smirks.

He opens the door from the garage that leads to the house. The inside is more beautiful than the garage. It's decorated well, and screams woman. The kitchen is adorned with white cabinets and butcher block counter tops. The kitchen connects to the family room, which is filled with a large "L" shaped couch, and a very large LCD TV attached to the wall.

"Welcome to my house Bella. Mi casa es su casa," he says, holding his arms apart. "Now, whatcha want to eat for dinner?" He walks over, opening the fridge. "I can make steak and potatoes, spaghetti, or chicken"

"Ummm what's the easiest to make?"

"Bella, don't worry about it. Just tell me what sounds good to you and I'll make it."

"Well actually steak sounds pretty good."

He clenches his chest. "You just stole my heart Bella. I love a girl that actually wants to eat."

I smile.

He pulls a steak from the fridge, along with a bag of something else. He goes to the pantry, pulling two potatoes from it. He throws all of it on the table, then hands me a peeler.

I give him a confused look.

"Come on Bella, you think you can peel the potatoes without cutting yourself? We all know what happens to you when you see blood," he jokes.

I narrow my eyes at him.

_I'll show you Mr. Cowboy._

I walk over to the sink, remembering that I've seen my mom washing potatoes before. He pulls the steaks from its package, sprinkling them with salt and pepper.

"Hey Bella, I'm just gonna go pop this on the BBQ, be right back," he says as he heads towards the back of the house. After I wash and peel the potatoes, I notice Edward isn't back. I head outside. His backyard is just as breathtaking as the house, if not more. In the back there is a pool with a hot tub attached to it and a large patio that is adorned with a table and chairs. On the other side there is a fire pit with more chairs surrounding it.

I find Edward, who is standing in front of the BBQ. I lean up against the wall and watch him. I take this time to study him. He is tall, his shoulders broad. He has a long neck, his chin and jaw chiseled. He turns around, and starts to walk towards me. I smile.

"Like what you see there do you Bella?"

"And how do you know that I like it?"

"Well, the drool on your shirt pretty much confirms it." I instinctively look down. There's nothing there.

He laughs. "You think you're so whitty, don't you Masen?"

"I don't think I am, I KNOW I am," he smiles.

I pretend to write something on my hand "Yet another thing to add to your list."

"What's the list?" he inquires.

"I'm making a list of pro and cons about you," I say.

"When do I get to see this so called list?" He says, now extremely close to me.

I look up into his bold green eyes, "Wouldn't you like to know?"

A low growl emerges from his chest. "No, what I want to know is what's on YOUR list."

"You're going to have to try a little harder Edward," I say, grinning.

"I think I can do that. I'll be right back," he says as he walks back inside.

A few minutes later he comes back, a beer in each hand. He hands one to me. I take it from him, our fingers grazing one another's.

I head over and sit down on one of the chairs over at the fire pit. I jump when a fire erupts from the center.

Edward laughs. "It's run off of propane. Just a flick of a switch and this baby is ready to go."

_Sounds like my libido around you_

I try to stifle back laughter. He comes and sits in the seat next to me.

"Dinner should be done soon. I finished up the potatoes, since you're clearly incompetent," he kids.

I stick my tongue out at him. He gets up, sliding past me. As he walks across me, I can't help but notice that my eyes are level with his crotch. I take this opportunity to check it out. His jeans hug every part of him perfectly. I notice that there is a rather large bulge, something in there trying forcefully to get out. My heart begins to race rapidly.

He takes the meat off the grill, and heads back inside. I walk back in figuring that dinner would be ready. He slides a plate towards me. "Help yourself to whatever you like Bella."

"Thanks." I fill my plate up with food, knowing that I probably look like a pig, but I'm so starving I could care less.

"Can we eat outside? It's so nice out there," I suggest.

"Absolutely. I'm glad you like it. It doesn't get much use."

"Then why do you have all that furniture? And the fire pit?"

We both walk back outside, sitting back down in the spots we were previously in.

"Well that's not really my doing. Actually, most of the things in this house aren't my doing. Well except for my bed, because I love my mother fucking bed," he explains. "Bella, that's one of the reasons I wanted to talk to you. I think you have the wrong impression of me. The blond girl that you saw me with the other night, and well, the girl that was with the woman you threw your water on, is a family friend. I don't know who you thought she was…but I feel it's important that I should let you know, I prefer brunettes."

I gasp, putting my hands over my mouth.

"Oh my god Edward. I am so sorry. I guess I should have gotten the story right. I am so embarrassed," I say as I look at my twitching hands.

Edward leans over, putting his hand under my chin and raises it so I am looking at him. Tears start to fall from my eyes, and I can't seem to get a grip on them. My body starts to shake.

"Bella, baby girl, why are you crying?"

"I *hiccup***** don't *hiccup* know… you make me do things that are involuntary. I feel like such a fucking spaz when I'm around you," I admit.

"I definitely know how that feels…" he says softly. He lets go of my chin and pats his leg. I give him a weary look.

"Come on Bella, I don't bite," he says as he grabs my wrist, effectively pulling me toward him. I place my plate on the edge of the fire pit. I get up from my seat, my legs shaking. I lower down onto his lap, awkwardly at first. He leans down, grabbing both my ankles, swinging me so that I am sitting horizontally across his lap, my legs hanging over the edge of his chair. His touch is light and comforting, something I did not expect. I lift my head up and I can feel his breath on mine. It's strangely intoxicating. He opens his mouth to say something, but my inner whore over takes me and I smash my lips to his.

I think he is shocked at first because he doesn't seem to be kissing back. He raises his hand and places it gently on the side of my head, grazing the hair that's tucked behind my ear. His lips begin to part and then move along with mine. His kiss is gentle, but passionate. I feel his tongue enter my mouth and I massage it along with mine. I flip around so that I am straddling him, not seeming to be able to get close enough. I plant my mouth back on him as grab his hat, flinging it behind me. I fish my fingers through his hair, tugging on it in the back. His hands are then plastered on my back, and I can feel the power in them. I moan into his mouth and he answers with a low growl.

As I continue to kiss him, I can't help but notice his member hardening against my leg. This makes me kiss him more fervently. I can now feel the wetness in my underwear, a reminder of how long it's been. I reach down, and stroke my hand across his member. He sharply inhales.

"Oh god Bella, you've gotta stop that," Edward says.

"But why?" I say, fluttering my eyelashes.

"Cause you're going to make me bust a nut in my pants."

I reach for his belt buckle when he stops me.

"Not tonight baby girl. You're different, I wanna take things slow."

"Did you just really say you want to take things slow?" I giggle.

"God, do I have a pussy?" he says looking down, examining his crotch.

"Looks like a dick to me," I say, grazing my fingertips against it again. He inhales.

"God lord, you have an angel's touch."

I sit upright. "Edward, can you please never say the word angel EVER again," I ask

He gives me a confused look, but doesn't press the issue. As soon as my lips are off of him, I want them so badly back on. He kisses my ear and then my neck, stopping once he gets to my collarbone. I sigh.

"Who would have ever thought that 48 hours ago we would be doing this?" he asks.

I giggle. "I pretty much hated your guts from the moment I saw you."

"Ouch. I'm wounded. Well I have a little confession to make. I was smitten with you from the moment I laid eyes on you at the bar."

"Wait! You saw me at the bar?"

"Mmm hmm, I was watching you. You were talking to Jackson, and I was pretty much jealous of that bastard" he laughs.

"Well how come you didn't come over and talk to us."

"Because I was intimidated by you. I wanted to come over to you, but I got umm preoccupied."

_Oh right._

"So what's going on with you two?"

He sits up. "I don't want to talk about it Bella." He says sharply, and gets up, effectively pushing me off of his lap

My stomach growls.

"You better eat up, even though it's probably cold now," he says over his shoulder.

Edward walks over to the edge of the patio, staring up at the sky. The moonlight shines down on him, almost halo like. In the light, I can see that his shoulders are tense. I get up and walk towards him placing my hands on his back gently, waiting to see his reaction to my touch. His shoulders drop instantly, as if weight has been lifted off of him. As I rub them harder, his head drops. I continue to rub, until he grabs my hands so that I'm effectively hugging him from behind. I rest my cheek on his back. We stand there for minutes, saying nothing, doing nothing.

Until he speaks again.

"Bella, you can't fall for me. I'm no good," he says.


	5. Chapter 5  Say

_"Bella, you can't fall for me. I'm no good," he says._

**BPOV**

I pull my hands from his, taking a step backward so I could look him in the eye.

"Then what the hell am I doing here Edward? You think I just run off with random people? You think I straddle and make out with whoever comes my way? I'm not one of your rodeo whores!" I scream.

Reading him is like blind person trying to figure out a Rubix cube. He takes a step towards me, and I instinctively take one back again. We continue this process until I feel my back slam into the siding of the house. His body crashes against mine and his left arm is stretched out by my face, with his palm plastered against the side of the house.

"Edward…" I sigh, the words barely escaping my mouth.

He puts his finger to my lips, effectively stopping me. I put face down at my feet, something I do when I'm become nervous. He runs his fingertips across down my cheek, down the side of my throat and wraps them around the back on my neck. He gathers my flowing hair into his fist and pulls on them, so that it makes my face snap up, my eyes boaring into his. It's somewhat painful, but the ecstasy that is running through my body doesn't seem to mind. The look in his eyes is wild, but I can see the passion pouring out from them. He shoves his face to mine, his tongue evading my mouth. I open my lips, allowing him to enter more. His hands begin to fall from my hair and make their way to my ass.

_Woah there tiger. _

He cups my ass cheeks, lifting me into the air. Instinctively, I wrap my legs around his waist, squeezing my thighs tight. He pulls my body away from the wall, and then slams me back into it. I cry out, not in pain, but in pleasure. I pull my hands from the back of his neck, and rapidly start to undo the buttons on his shirt. My hands are shaking so bad that it takes me an absurdly long time to get one undone. He reaches up and grabs a hold of the collar, ripping it apart, making the other 5 buttons fly all over the place. As soon as he's exposed, I run my hands up and down his chiseled chest, dragging my fingernails lightly down it. I hear a low growl emerge from his chest and he pulls his lips from mine. I sigh in disappointment, knowing that this probably the point where he tells me to stop.

"Bella…" he says breathing heavily."I don't want to do anything that you are going to regret tomorrow."

_He's concerned now?_

"Edward, just shut the fuck up," I spit, almost laughing.

As the words escape my mouth, Edward begins to walk to the house, with me still wrapped around his legs. He flings the door open and we slam onto the couch, our bodies bouncing off of each other. I unlock my legs from his waist and pull his shirt off the rest of the way. He gives me one of those panty dropping smiles. He starts to run his fingers along the bottom rim of my shirt, grazing the skin lightly. I buck my hips in response. I put my arms up, and my shirt comes off like a dress on prom night. He tosses my shirt onto the floor while I reach for his belt buckle. I flick it unhinged with one finger, biting my lip as I do so. I slide it off, along with his belt and throw it behind me. I go for the button on his jeans, seeming to not be able to get the zipper down fast enough.

_Fucking shaky hands. No more caffeine for you Bella._

Once I get them open enough, I thrust my hand down. His member is hard and throbbing in my palm, heat radiating off of it. We moan in unison.

"Fucking Christ Bella," he says, breathing hot air into my mouth. I never wanted someone so much in my life until that moment. His hands trail to my jeans, but before he unbuttons them, his eyes look into mine, begging for acceptance. I nod. A small grin envelops on his face.

He begins to unbutton, letting the zipper down slowly and I let out a moan of dissatisfaction. He slides his hand down the front of my panties, mirroring my actions on him.

"God Bella, you're so fucking wet…and bare," he growls, looking down my pants.

He pulls his hand out of my panties. As I'm about to protest, until he sticks his fingers in his mouth, licking up what I can only assume are my juices.

"I've wanted to taste that since the moment I laid eyes on you," he leers.

My cheeks begin to burn.

He grabs the sides of my jeans and rips them down, almost animalistic.

He lets out another groan. "Fuck, you are going to be the death of me," he says, taking in the sight of my thong. I unconsciously wore the one with little pigs on it. He slides his fingers across the side of my thong, throwing it off to the side and runs his fingers between my lips, spending a lot of time on my clit. My hips buck wildly, as if they have never received this kind of attention before. His fingers slide back down, and tease at my hot center. Edward looks up at me, once again asking for permission.

"Just do it Edward!" I scream, a mixture of passion and pissed-off-ness.

His finger slowly enters inside of me, my tightness clenching around it. He thrusts it back and forth, eventually adding another finger. The tightness is overwhelming, but I can feel my wetness sopping around them. I am lost in ecstasy, my breath so labored that I think I'm going to pass out. I think that I am going to come, when he slows down.

_For the love of Christ! _

I look up at Edward, seeing that at the moment he is preoccupied. His face is diverted to the kitchen. That's when I hear whatever has caught his attention. A faint buzzing comes from the vicinity. I try to ignore it, but Edward clearly can't or won't. He glides his fingers out from my center, and lifts himself off of me, clearly aggravated. He slams his fist into the couch cushion behind me, making me jump.

"FUCK!" he says, getting up and buttons his pants. He walks over to the kitchen and picks up his cell phone. He dials it while walking into another room. I get up, putting my pants and shirt back on quickly, almost feeling like someone has caught us. I walk towards the kitchen, plastering my ear to the swinging door that Edward went through. Part of me is dying to know what could possibly be so important he'd be distracted from where we were obviously heading.

A minute later I can hear him say:

"Ok, I promise I'll be there as soon as possible, but there's something I have to take care of first. Ok. See you soon. "I hear him hit the "end" button. I run back to the living room before he can catch me eavesdropping. He walks back to where I am sitting, a look of remorse on his face.

"I'm so sorry Bella, but I have to go."

He pauses to run his hands through his hair.

"There's something I have to take care of."

"Oh ok," I say, sadly looking down at my hands.

What I really want to say is, "Where the fuck are you in such a hurry to get to?" but we've all seen where jumping to conclusions has got me. But ever since he heard that phone ring, there's a sadness behind his eyes. It's preventing me from wanting to make demands, from me asking more of him when I know I deserve a better explanation. I just can't bring myself to add that to the weight he's carrying right now.

He takes his hand and lifts my cheek up towards him. "Let's get you home beautiful."

As we walk outside he grabs my hand, running his thumb across my palm. Sometimes with him the simplest touches are almost as great as the intimacy of our romp on the couch. As we pull into the driveway, I instantly become sad, not knowing when I will see him next.

"Let me walk you up to the door," he says as he starts unbuckle his seatbelt.

"I'm fine Edward. I know you're in a hurry," I say as I open my car door.

"Hey Bella, I'm really sorry about tonight," he pauses and looks sadly into my eyes, "Listen, I'm riding tomorrow and I really want you to be there."

"Of course Edward. I'll come," I smile.

I just can't seem to say no to this man.

_What on earth is wrong with me?_

He kisses my hand and drives away.

**EPOV**

You know the quote, "Life is a shit sandwich and every day you take another bite"? Well that couldn't be more true than today.

Just when things were getting good with Bella, SHE has to call.

I had Bella right where I wanted her, which was underneath me. She is one of the most breathtaking women I have ever laid eyes on, definitely not like the nasty rodeo bunnies that are constantly vying for my attention. And in this spectacular moment she was mine. Feeling her lips against mine was extraordinarily arousing, sending pleasure waves throughout my body.

As much as I wanted to rip all her clothes off and thrust myself deep inside of her, there was something stopping me. I had been with my fair share of women, more than I care to publicize, but something about her made me want to be a better man. When I got Bella on the couch, I was in a state of euphoria. Feeling my fingers inside of her was my new favorite place to be. That was until I heard the faint buzzing coming from the kitchen. My blood instantly began to boil, knowing exactly who it was. I know she means no harm, but sometimes I would just like a little time to myself.

Without thinking, my instincts take over and I slam my fists in the couch cushion, barely missing Bella by mere inches. The look of Bella's face upsets me, but I'm never been known for not showing my emotions, especially with my fists. I peel myself off of Bella, my dick severely pissed off at that moment. I button my jeans back up and walk into the kitchen. I flip my phone over, displaying that I have one missed call. I slip into the next room, not wanting Bella to hear.

The phone barely rings once before I hear a female voice on the other end.

"Edward? Can you come over? I need you," the voice on the other end begs.

"Ok , I'll be there as soon as possible, there's something I have to take care of first, " I say, as I leave the living room and making my way back to Bella.

When I make it back, I don't like what I see. Bella is no longer sporting the bright smile she had when I left. The warmth that was surrounding her is now gone, and sad Bella is back. She's adverting her eyes, looking down at her hands. I already know this is a tick of hers, a sign that she is uncomfortable.

"I'm so sorry, but I have to go," I shamefully say.

I want to tell her where I'm going, but I'm not ready to air my dirty laundry yet

"Oh ok," she murmurs.

"Let's get you home beautiful," I say as I lift her chin up, making her look at me.

I want to tell her there's nowhere I'd rather be at this moment than back on that couch naked beside her. But I can't seem to make the words come out of my mouth.

As we walk to the car, neither of us speak, neither of us knowing what to say. But my body knows what it wants, it craves Bella's touch. I let my hand graze hers, and then I grasp it. I am delighted to see that she doesn't pull it away.

We jump in the truck, her sitting in the middle, next to me. I think this is my new favorite place to be. When we reach Tanya's house, I go to unbuckle my seatbelt, offering to walk her to the door.

She tells me no, and the glimpse of disappointment on her face overwhelms me. As I drive away, I immediately miss her. As I make my way over to my destination, for once I am not ecstatic to be headed there. I love Charlotte, but for one night I needed to be alone. Well ok, not alone, but with Bella.

I pull into the driveway, pushing one of the buttons on my garage door opener. I pull into the garage, shutting the door behind me. I sit in my truck, leaning my head back. I close my eyes, enjoying the last moment of peace before I enter the house. After a few minutes, I hear the door from the house to the garage click open. A figure stands in the doorway, crossing arms while leaning against the door jam.

I pull my seatbelt off, dragging my body towards her.

"God Edward, you look like shit," she says.

"Fuck you Victoria, I'm here doing YOU a favor, the least you can do is treat me nicely."

"Such a hot head. Always have been. Guessing always will be," she smirks.

"Bite me, you don't know me," I retort.

"Really Edward? I have known you your whole life."

"So where you off to tonight?" I ask, not really caring what the answer is.

"I got a new job as a waitress at the Copper Kettle. They called and asked if I could come in tonight," she smiles.

"You gonna keep this job longer than a month? Or you gonna sleep with your new boss too?" I spat.

"Fuck you Edward."

"Looks who's the hot head now," I retort.

She shakes her head. "Well I better get going, Charlotte is already asleep. You can just crash in my room," she says, looking at her watch.

She begins to walk toward her car.

"How's the car holding up?" I ask.

"It's wonderful Edward, it's too much. You really shouldn't have."

"How else were you going to get to around," I say.

She shrugs her shoulder.

"Just don't make me regret it."

She gets in her car and slowly pulls out of the garage, waving goodbye out the window.

I turn around and enter the house. It's dark and eerily quiet. I head to the bedroom at the end of the hallway, quietly entering. Walking over to the small bed that it in the corner of the room, I brush my hands against her forehead, pushing the hair off of her face.

_My sleeping angel._

I slip back out of the room, clicking the door shut quietly. When I walk into the kitchen, I immediately pull the refrigerator open. I reach in, grabbing a beer. I make it over to the couch, letting my body fall from mid air.

_Fuck me this was a long day. _

I sip my beer, finally feeling able to relax. I sit there, staring in the dark, doing absolutely nothing, thinking about my Bella. I go to place my beer on the coffee table, but slam it down a little too harshly. I hiss, hoping it doesn't wake Charlotte up, but she doesn't seem to be fazed by it. I pull my boots off, and lay down on the couch, hoping to get some shut eye. Victoria said that I could crash in her bed, but that just seems wrong.

_I miss my fucking bed. Wish Bella was in it with me. _

I pull my phone from my pocket and look at the screen. There are no missed calls, no text messages. Part of me wishes there was.

My eyelids start to become heavy and I doze off after a couple minutes.

…

When I start to come to, I feel a weight on my chest. I open my eyes and see Charlotte lying face down on my stomach. I lift her off of me gently, trying not to waken her and place her on my shoulder, rearranging the blankets on the couch and then lay her back down, wrapping the blanket around her.

I walk in the kitchen and immediately start the coffee pot. I look at the clock. It's 6 am.

_Fuck me._

I hear the sound of the garage door opening. Victoria must be home. A few seconds later, she comes walking in, throwing her purse and keys on the counter. I put my finger to my lips, pointing to the couch.

"Morning," she whispers.

"Mornin," I groan. "The little lady is on the couch," I whisper.

"Thanks again Edward. You don't know how much I appreciate it."

"Uh huh." I say, downing half my cup of coffee in one gulp. "Well I've gotta get going. Gotta ride tonight."

"You don't want to stay? I can make you breakfast."

"Nah, I'll grab something with the guys."

She walks over and gives me a hug. "Be Safe."

"Always am."

I walk back over to the couch, sitting down gently so that I can pull my boots back on. Just as I am about to get up, Charlotte's eyes flip open.

"Are you leaving Uncle Edward?"

"Yeah honey, I've gotta go," I answer.

"But we didn't get to spend any time together. Where do you have to go?"

"I gotta go ride those big mean bulls. Do you remember seeing me ride them a couple months ago?"

"Yeah. It was super scary Uncle Edward. Can I see it again?" she squeals.

"Soon, real soon," I kiss her forehead before getting back up.

"See ya," I say to Victoria before heading out the door.

**BPOV**

I wake up to the bright sun shining in through the shutters. I throw my arm over my eyes, trying to block it out. After about a minute, I roll over looking at the alarm clock. It's 11:30.

_Shit._

I lay in the bed for a couple more minutes, trying to remember everything from last night.

_Was it all a dream? Was the whole night a figment of my imagination?_

I roll out of bed, pulling on a pair of sweatpants and slowly walk down the stairs, waiting to hear voices coming from the kitchen, but it's dead silent. I start to freak a little, so I run back upstairs, flinging open Rose's door. Empty. I walk down to Alice's room. Empty.

I dash back down the stairs, remembering that I didn't have my cell phone on me last night. I go to my purse on the kitchen table and dig my hand into it, swishing its contents around. My fingers can't seem to find it. Frustrated, I pull my purse off the table, dumping it over. I rummage through the crap and finally find it.

6 missed calls, 15 unread text messages.

_Oh no._

Just as I'm about to read them, I hear the door unlock. Rose and Alice walk around the corner, my body lets out a sigh.

"Bella! What the hell happened to you last night? Alice and I were about to call in the FBI. We thought you were abducted," Rose screeches.

"Such a drama queen," I say, shaking my head. "Plus, you're asking me where_ I've been_? You do realize that you two just walked into the house at 11: 30 in the morning? And you clearly never came home last night because you both are definitely doing the walk of shame. "

"Were doing the walk of shame? If you haven't noticed, you are still wearing the shirt you wore yesterday. And your makeup is all over your face," she remarks. "So where the hell were you?"

"Ummm, well after you guys left, I was starving, so I texted Edward to see what there was to eat here in Redneckville and he umm…ended up taking me to his place," I say, looking down at my hands.

Rose and Alice look at each other, their eyes widening. In unison, they pull out a chair and plop down.

"Tell us everything!" Alice squeals.

"Well we didn't have sex, and I'm sure that is the only part Rose really cares about," I sneer.

"Fuck you Bella," Rose mutters.

"Well I wanna know everything," Alice says.

_Here we go._

"Well when we got to his house, things were going great. We were having light conversation, we were laughing. I was actually enjoying being around him. I saw a side of him that doesn't seem to make an appearance very often. It was going great…until he mentioned his cousin."

"His cousin?" Rose asks.

"You know that girl who I threw water in her face yesterday? Well the other one was his cousin, and the girl that was in the doctor's room the night I fainted…his cousin."

"Oh shit? Really? "

"Yeah, she was just out here visiting and he couldn't ditch her. And the big boobed bitch who "claims" she slept with him…he denies it."

"Do you believe him?" Alice inquires

"Yeah I do actually," I say smiling. The feeling of trusting someone that I barely knew kinda freaked me out.

"Interesting," Alice counters.

_There was more to that story, like the wall humping and the "almost" finger fucking, but I wasn't ready to tell them that just yet._

"Well I'm tired as fuck, so I think I am just going to lay by the pool," I mutter. I go upstairs, and change back into Rose's swimsuit. I lay down on the chase, bringing my headphones to my ears. For the first time in a long time, I feel truly relaxed. Nothing to do, nowhere to be.

"_It's a quarter after one  
I'm all alone  
And I need you now  
Said I wouldn't call  
But I've lost all control  
And I need you now_

_And I don't know how  
I can do without  
I just need you now_

_Another shot of whiskey  
Can't stop looking at the door  
Wishing you'd come sweeping  
In the way you did before_

_And I wonder if I  
Ever cross your mind  
For me it happens all the time"_

After a while, when the sun gets too hot, I pull my ear buds from my ears, I jump up from my chair and dive into the pool. The cool water feels good on my skin. I alternate between tanning and swimming for about an hour, and then head back inside feeling even more relaxed.

"So are we going tonight or what? I heard Edward invited you this time," Alice asks.

"Umm yeah I told him I would go so…" I mutter.

I run upstairs, quickly taking a shower. When I get out, I rummage through my suitcase, pushing it over when I get pissed that there is nothing I like.

_Alice has a TON of clothes._

I wrap myself up in my towel, tucking it under my armpit and make my way across the hall.

"Alice! I need something to wear!" I scream as I fling her door open.

And that's when I see it. Alice is lying in her bed, with Jackson's face between her legs.

"Oh holy fuck!" I gasp.

I whip around quickly and end up running straight into the door jam.

"FUCK!" I say, putting my hand on my forehead. I can hear Alice giggling.

_Bitch._

By the time I make it back to my room, I have a visible welt on my forehead.

_Perfect._ _Nothing says sexy Bella like a bruise the size of a golf ball of your fucking face. _

I go back over to the mound of clothing that is now on the floor of my room and pull a pair of jeans and a red and blue checkered button up shirt. There is no way I am going back and asking for clothes from Alice ever again. I throw them on, knotting my shirt to one side, pull on my cowboy boots on last. I go over to my nightstand, checking my phone.

_Please. _

However, I am disappointed when I see I haven't missed anything.

I go downstairs, praying that Alice and Jackson aren't down there. Much to my surprise they aren't. I plop myself down on the couch, waiting for my roommate to um…finish up. I lay there for a while, until I hear a door click open. I instantly become nauseous. Alice and Jackson make their way down the stairs, hand in hand. I pull out my phone, putting it up to my ear quickly, pretending like I'm talking to someone.

_God Bella, you are a verified pussy. _

I get up from the couch, and walk over to the window, phone still in hand. After about a minute, I turn around and Jackson is staring at me, probably realizing that I haven't spoken a word to the so called "person" I was talking to. He gives me a wink and I can't help but laugh nervously. I turn back around when I hear Jackson telling Alice goodbye.

When I hear the front door latch, I sigh with relief. I turn around to look at Alice.

"I am so so sorry Alice. I really thought it was just us girls!" I say.

"No sweat Bella. We actually got a kick out of it. However…have you seen your face?"

"Yes Alice, I am aware of the big ass welt on my face," I declare.

In the middle of the conversation, Rose comes down.

"What are you two whores talking about?"

"Well, we were talking about the Bella's walking in on Jackson eating me out, in which she ran straight into the door jam."

"Haha classic," Rose laughs.

_I must remind myself to move away from them when I get back home._

"Can we just go?" I grumble.

"Yeah, let's go," Rose says.

All three of us walk out to her car together. Apparently Edward is riding in some freak ass small town an hour from here.

…

When we get there, the usual butterflies start to stir in my stomach, but I am excited to see him. When we get out, the parking lot is already full of people. I don't know what it is with rednecks, but they sure do love to hang out by their trucks. As the three of us walk to the entrance, we are bombarded with whistles and hollers.

We giggle.

When we make it inside, I see that Jackson is waiting for us.

_Fuck me._

"Hey there Bella, how are you doing today?" he says, mocking me.

"Ha ha, very funny," I laugh.

"Come on ladies, let go watch," he says, throwing his arm over mine and Alice's shoulder.

We follow him into the back, just like the first night I saw Edward ride.

"We saved these for you," he says, ushering us in. "Oh and Rose, Emmett had to go on earlier than expected. He got bucked off and the bull stepped on his rib cage. He got pretty bruised up. He's waiting for you."

"Oh!" Rose smiles and takes off.

We sit down and watch the other riders go. I can barely pay attention, because I begin to get nervous.

_What if his cousin is here? What would I say?_

I look around, but there is no sight of her. I breathe a little easier. After a couple of the other men ride, I hear Edward's name over the loud speaker. I bolt up from my chair, and hang off the metal fence. And that's when I see him off to the side getting ready.

He seems to be nervous, taking off his cowboy hat and running his hands through his hair. He climbs up and over the gates, pulling his gloves on. When he mounts the bull, his helpers begin to furiously get him strapped in. Once he is situated, all the men just sit there, staring at Edward. Just as I think he is about to come out of the shoot, he looks up and straight at me. My heart races as I give a small wave. He smiles and I immediately return one. He then diverts his attention back to the guy who is in charge of opening the gate. He gives him a small nod to the man, and the gate flies open.

Edward is being thrown around like a rag doll on top of this massive animal. I don't know how he has the courage to do this, because just watching it is scaring the hell out of me. Edward's body is being flipped in every direction, something my eyes are having trouble focusing. I see Edward's hat fly off of him, landing in the dirt. Just like before, it goes fast. I hear the buzzer go off, hoping that means he rode out the entire 8 seconds. I turn around to face Jackson. He nods

"I'm sure he'd love to see you Bella," Jackson smiles. "If you go in the back, his room is the first door to the right."

I jump down, practically running. When I reach the back I am stopped by security.

"Excuse me miss, but fans have to wait out back for autographs," he says.

"Umm I'm Edward Masen's girlfriend," I say, shocked that the words have let my mouth.

"Mm yeah right," he says, letting me though.

_Some security guard you are. Oh no…maybe Edward has a lot of women who come in through the back._

I make my way down the hall. As I place my hand on the knob of the first door to the right, I hear Edward's laugh from a room further down the hallway. I begin to walk toward his voice. I'm about to enter the other room, I find myself stopping at the doorway wondering who Edward is talking to.

"So Edward, the girl that was with Jackson, is that the bare pussied girl you fucked last night?" a male voice says.

My mouth flies open.

"Yeah, I fucked her so hard I don't think she was walking straight. You know me man, pussy just falls in my lap. Can't keep the bitches off of me," I hear Edward say, his words slurring a little bit.

A fire burns inside of me so hot I could swear that smoke was coming out of my ears. I walk into the room, and my eyes instantly meet with Emmett's. His widen and Edward notices, turning slowly around so that his eyes are now matched with mine. I slam my body into him, hitting his chest with my fists over and over.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!" I scream. "You're such a fucking dick just like the rest of them. I thought _maybe_ you'd be different, but apparently I was wrong! Stay the hell away from me," I sob as tears come streaming down my face.

The entire time I am screaming, I simultaneously kick him in the shins with my boots but he doesn't ever flinch. He just stands there, no emotions on his face what so ever. The tears begin to overtake the strength left in my body and before I know it, Emmett's arms are around me, pulling me off Edward.

"Calm down Bella Bee," he soothes into my ear.

"Let me go! Right fucking now Emmett!" I scream, trying to thrash around in his arms, but his grip is too strong. Knowing that I can't get free, I have other option than to stop fighting.

"Please just let me go," I whisper while staring at Edward.

He sets me down, but hovers near me.

I stand up straight, glaring at Edward. I give him a chance to say something but he remains mute, his eyes just penetrating me.

"Goodbye Edward," I say as I swivel on my heels and leave.

By the time I make it out to the parking lot, I can't hold any more tears back. Slumping onto the curb, I place my face between my legs, my fingers gripping the materials of my jeans.

_Breathe._

Not a minute later I hear "Bella?"

I look up to see Jake standing in front of me.

"What's wrong angel?" he says, sitting down on the curb next to me. "Actually, I don't even need you to answer that… it's Edward huh?"

"How do you know?" I say, hiccupping between each word.

"Girl, you've got Edward written all over you face," he says, not smiling. He pauses to scan the area around us. "You wanna get out of here?"

That sounds like a really good fucking idea at the moment.

I face him and nod. He stands up, holding his hand out. I take it and he pulls me up so fast , when I get to my feet, I slam into his chest. I look up at him and his finger brushes my cheek, wiping my tears away.

"Jake…"

"Come on Bella, let's go chill..." he puts his arm around my shoulder.

We walk over to his car, which I recognize as a Jeep Wrangler. It's a far cry from Edward's truck, but it fits Jake. As we walk up, he doesn't open my door for me.

As I hear the doors unlock, I climb into it.

"So where you wanna go?" he says, looking at me.

"Anywhere but here," I say.

"My place it is," he says, putting the car in reverse.

For some reason, I don't object. Just as were about to pull out of the parking lot, I see Edward running out of the building. He stops in his tracks when his eyes meet mine through the car window.

_That's right. Two can play this game._

I glare at him through the window, my eyes narrowing at him. My heart starts to beat rapidly, like it's going to jump out of my chest any moment. My inner bitch is glowing, knowing that this is the last place Edward wants me to be. Jake doesn't seem to notice his presence, and continues to drive right past him.

I sit back in the seat, closing my eyes.

_How did my life get so screwed up in just a few days?_

The ride to Jake's house is fast. As we pull off the main road onto a small gravel driveway, we pass a huge house off to the right. He continues on until we come across a smaller house.

I give Jake a weird look.

"What?" he says.

"Is this your house?"

He looks over at it, "Yeah, you got a problem with it?

"It's small," I remark.

"I know it's not as big as Masen's but I can tell you the company is a whole hell of a lot better," he snips.

"I'm sorry Jake. I didn't mean it being small as a bad thing, it looks cozy."

"Well thanks," he says, unlocking the door.

When we walk into the room, I am immediately hit with the mixture of BO and dirt.

"Good god Jake, don't you ever like…I dunno…air this place out?" I say, plugging my nose.

"It's all me baby…." he says sucking air in. "Ahhhh."

"You're disgusting," I say, smacking his arm.

"Come on Bella, let's watch a movie," he says as he pulls his boots off and lay's horizontal on the couch.

"Oh and take you shoes off, I don't allow anyone to wear shoes in my house," he adds.

"Oh yes, because everything is so immaculate here," I kid, setting my boots next to Jake's.

I turn around to look at Jake on the couch, his form taking up the whole thing.

"Scoot over," I say, tapping my fingers on his shoulders.

"You know you could just sit on top of me, I wouldn't mind," He smiles.

"That ain't happening Jake," I say.

He gets up, scooting to one side of the couch.

"So what do you want to watch?" he asks, flipping the TV on.

"I don't care… you chose," I mutter.

"Bella, if I chose we'll be watching porn," he laughs.

I roll my eyes.

Jake reaches down, and grabs my legs so that they are across him. He pulls off my socks and he grabs my foot, rubbing it with his hands. I have the sense of déjà vu and can't help but giggle silently.

"So Jake, you seem like a pretty nice guy, how come you don't have a girlfriend?" I ask.

"I don't know, guess the right one hasn't come along," he shrugs, continuing to rub my feet.

"God Jake, that feels so good," I say, laying my head back.

0o0o0o0

I must have fallen asleep, because I feel Jake shaking me.

"Bella!"

I open my eyes, aware of how heavy they are from all the crying.

"Your phones ringing," he says.

I jump up from the couch, grabbing my phone from my jacket pocket. I look at the screen. It's Rose.

"Bella? Bella? Where are you?" she screams.

"Calm down. I'm at Jake's," I whisper.

"What the fuck are you doing at Jake's Bella? Emmett said that you kicked the shit out of Edward. I'm so proud of you!"

_Those boots did come in handy after all_

I laugh. "Um thanks."

"Apparently Edward went back outside to talk to you, but when he came back in he was alone and went immediately to his room, locking the door behind him. Heard a lot of shouting and glass shattering."

_You don't care about him. You don't care about him._

"That boy is all sorts of fucked up," she adds.

"Yeah well, we don't have to worry about him anymore, I wanna have nothing to do with him," I say, looking at Jake.

"So how in the hell did you end up at Jake's?"

"It's a long story Rose."

"Is Jake going to bring you back?"

I tip my phone down, covering my hand on the speaker, "Can you take me home?" I ask.

"You're more that welcome to stay here if you want to Bella. I'll sleep on the couch."

This actually sounds good to me, not wanting to explain the whole situation to Alice and Rose.

I take my hand off the speaker. "Hey Rose, I'm actually going to crash here tonight."

"Ok Bella, have fun having sex with Jake," she says hanging up before I can yell at her.

"Everything ok?" Jake asks.

"Yeah, that was just Rose, she was wondering where I ran off too."

"Well I'm pretty beat," he says, stretching. "Let me show you the bedroom."

He gets up, going to the nearest door and I follow.

Jake's bedroom is small, the queen bed taking up most of the room. He walks over to the dresser, pulling out a tshirt and boxers and hands them to me.

"It's for you to sleep in. I don't think sleeping in jeans sounds very comfortable. Don't worry they're clean," he smirks.

"Thanks," I say.

We stand there awkwardly.

"Are you going to leave so I can change?" I ask.

"Fine fine," he says as he walks out of the room, shutting the door.

I slip out of my jeans and t-shirt, throwing Jake's clothes on. A couple minutes later, I hear a rap on the door.

"Come in."

Jake pops his head in. "Looking good."

"Thanks."

"Well, you can just crash on my bed. I'll take the couch," he says, grabbing a pillow and blanket.

"Don't be silly Jake. It is your bed after all, just no touching," I smile

"Deal."

He flies over to the bed, plopping down. I walk over to the other side, pulling the comforter back.

I lay down next to him, realizing how close we are.

"If you don't want to see me naked Bella, you best look away," he grins.

"What!" I shriek.

"Relax, I'm just taking my shirt off," he says, lifting it up and over his head.

I turn my head, looking at the wall.

Pretty soon the room goes dark as Jake gets up to click the light off. I slump down, pulling the comforter up under my chin. I lay there awake for what seems like forever, just replaying the night in my head over and over again. A moment later, I am hit with a heavy weight. I run my hands along the thing across my stomach, its Jake's arm. It feels like it must be 50 pounds.

"Jake," I whisper, trying to wake him. "Jake," I repeat, but he doesn't stir.

As I try to lift his arm off of me, his grip on me tightens, dragging me into him. His arm is now around my chest. After a few minutes of squirming, I give up. Exhaustion begins to overtake me, and my eyes fall closed.

…

I wake up the next morning…alone in the bed. I roll over and look around the room and Jake's not there. I see a piece of paper folded up on his pillow with "Bella" written on the front.

My fingers glide over it and I begin to unfold it.

**Had to run out this morning to help Peter. I will be back soon, please stay. Breakfast is in the kitchen.**

I jump out of bed, pulling off the boxers and putting my jeans back on. My stomach grumbles, not realizing until now how starving I am. I walk out of the bedroom, and head towards the kitchen where on the countertop, I notice a bowl with fruit loops in it. There is a small note next to it.

**Sorry it isn't much. Milk's in the fridge.**

I smile. Pulling the milk from the fridge I fill up the bowl and grab the spoon, heading to the couch. As I sit there, eating my cereal, I can't help but laugh at the situation I am in. Being at Jake's house is almost like being at home. I feel comfortable here. I flip the TV on but don't really pay any attention to it. As I am eating me cereal I hear the sound of crunching gravel. I get up from the couch, excited that Jacob is back. As I fling the door open and take off towards the driveway, my body slams into Edward.

My eyes widen, panic attacking my body. I look up at Edward, who looks thoroughly exhausted. Big black circles lay under his eyes and he's running his hands through his hair constantly, a sign that he is on edge.

"Bella," he says no louder than whisper.

"Edward. What the hell are you doing here?" I ask.

"Can we umm, talk about last night?"

"Yeah. Talk." I say, crossing my arms.

"Not here…Bella."

"And what's wrong with here Edward?"

"It's _his _house."

"And what's wrong with him," I ask

He shoots me a glare.

"Oh right, right…you don't like him but you've never told me why. Silly me, how could I forget," I snap.

That's when I see Jake's red Wrangler pull up.

_This morning keeps getting better and better._

Edward turns around, watching Jake jump out from his car. Jake comes striding up, standing to the side of us.

"Masen," Jake says.

"Black," Edward grumbles.

"What in the hell are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to Bella."

"I don't think she wants to talk to you man, especially after the way she looked last night."

"Jake…" I begin to say.

"No Bella, I'm tired of this guy coming around like owns the joint. I thought we had a pretty good time last night," he says leaning towards me.

I start to respond, but Edward interrupts me.

"That explains the shirt then I guess," Edward mumbles, and starts to walk away.

Confused, I look down at my shirt, realizing that I am still wearing Jake's.

_Fuck._

"Edward, wait!" I scream.

Edward stops walking, turning around to face me again. I go back in the house, grabbing my purse and jacket. When I come back outside, Jake grabs my arm.

"Bella, please don't go with him. I am begging you," he adds softly.

"I'm sorry Jake, I have to go," I say as I give him a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for last night, I really appreciate it."

"Get your fucking hand off of her NOW," I hear Edward scream, his form making his way back over to us.


	6. Chapter 6 Just Got Started Lovin You

"Edward…don't...please," I say, showing sympathy in my eyes.

Edward relaxes a little, and stands there waiting for me to move. Yet again, I am stuck between these two men in an edgy situation.

Jacob lets go of my arm, and I turn around to give him a hug him.

"Thank you so much for last night Jake, you are an amazing friend," I say into his ear. He tightens his grip around me, and then lets me go.

"I wish I was more than that," he whispers.

A look at him, apologizing with my eyes.

I follow behind Edward, realizing that he doesn't have his truck today, but his Ducati. My heart begins to race. When we reach it, he hands me his helmet, his eyes begging for forgiveness.

"But what about you?" I say, reaching out to take it from him.

Our fingertips graze each others, and I instantly feeling the surge.

_Shit. Guess he still does it for you Bella. _

"Don't worry about me Bella. I think at this point I'm sure you'd be happy if I cracked my head open."

"If you only knew," I say smirking.

"I'm so sorry Bella, please let me explain…" he starts.

I stop him. "Please, not here in front of Jake," I say, noticing that Jake is still standing in his doorway.

"Ok."

He leans over the motorcycle, starting it up. The engine purrs to life. He takes the helmet out of my hands, sliding it over my head gently. His long fingers cinch the strap tight under my chin, making sure it's extra tight. He straddles the motorcycle, sinking into the seat. He looks back at me, probably wondering if I going to get on. I slide one leg over it, fitting myself in behind him. Before we take off, he reaches back, grabbing my hands and putting them around his chest. I can't help but smile.

"Where you wanna go Bella?" he says over his shoulder.

"Umm," I can feel myself blushing. "Wherever you want to go Edward," I mumble into the helmet.

He sits up, revving the engine. We take off, tuning around in front of Jake's house. I get a quick glimpse of Jake before we leave, sadness clearly affirmed on his face. A wave of guilt washes over me.

As we drive, I take this time to study Edward. He is wearing a black leather riding jacket, one that hugs his broad shoulders well. His golden hair is blowing back in the wind, the sunlight shining brightly off it. I let go of Edward's chest, running my arms up and down his back and I feel him tighten under my touch. Edward revs the engine loudly, picking up speed. We continue down the country road, the scenery zooming past me at an alarming rate. I close my eyes, a squeal escaping my lips and I grab onto Edward as tight as I can. As we get closer to what I assume is our destination, he begins to slow down, parking off the side of the road. Its then I realize we are in a familiar place.

_The cliff._

This is the place where Edward took me the night after the party. The place where I thought he left me. Alone.

He turns the bike off and dismounts. He reaches up to my throat, undoing the clasp on my helmet. He slides it off, placing it on the seat. He stands over me, his fingers grazing my chin.

"Bella…." he whispers.

As much as I wanted to kick the shit out of him and demand to know what the hell is wrong with him, his touch melted the frustration inside of me. His hand moves from my face, down my arm and then finally to my hand. He grasps it, interlocking our fingers together. He starts walking towards the woods, effectively pulling me behind him. Now that it is light out, I get to see the beautiful scenery that I had missed when we came here at night. The woods are thick, covered in green, with trees high in the sky. The ground is covered with green moss, however a distinct trail had clearly been worn into it, a tribute to frequency. When we make it out of the thickest part, we make it to the familiar clearing. This place is just as beautiful as that night, but now I can see that the ground is covered with bright blue and purple flowers. It takes my breath away. Instead of heading towards the cliff side though, Edward leads me into the meadow. He sits down, and because we are still holding hands, I sit as well. Edward lets go of my hand, and I begin to pout quietly. He lies down, facing the sky and pulls his aviator sunglasses onto his face. I sit there, just staring at him.

"Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?" I say, a small part of me getting annoyed.

He sits up, leaning on one elbow.

"I just wanted to explain myself about last night," he begins, looking straight at me. "What you heard last night was not the truth Bella. I have a…um…certain image to uphold. What you heard was nothing other than guys being guys. I know it was wrong, but everyone thinks I'm this playboy. I want you to know that I am not. Most people don't know the real me because I don't allow them to. I've never wanted to show anyone the true me until I met you. I know I'm not perfect, I have a fuckload of dirty laundry Bella, but that's who I _was_, not who I am. There will be things about me that will piss you off, but it will be the real me pissing you off. I thought I was a fool for no one, but I'm a fool for you."

My heart is beating so loud that I think Edward can hear it. Tears swell in my eyes, begging to be released.

He continues, "And I want to apologize for everything that has happened up till now. I want you to know, that if you have questions, I want to answer them. I know some of the answers will make me look like an asshole, but I don't want to hide from you anymore. I'm here until you order me away."

_Woah. _

I take a deep breath.

"I'm not going to lie. From the moment I met you, you have been infuriating. Most of the time, I want to smack you across the face." I grin, him mirroring mine. "But something about you has me taken aback. I have been instinctively drawn to you since I first saw you in the barn, even when you were a complete asshole. Every time that I saw you after that, it ended horribly, me usually in tears. But, every time I thought I was done with you, there you'd be again, and my heart would be pounding out of my chest like it is now. That night at your house was amazing. I saw a side of you that I have a feeling most people don't get to see. I can't deny that I have feelings for you Edward, but I can't just be your call girl. I can't watch you walk away to what I assume is another woman every night…"

He begins to chuckle. I flick up one of my eyebrows.

"Bella…" he begins "The woman that calls me almost every night is not a woman I am interested in sexually, the woman that calls me is my sister. Her name is Victoria, she's a single mom who works nights…"

_Well don't I feel like an ass._

"She calls me on the nights she has to work. I watch Charlotte, her four year old daughter… my niece"

"Oh god Edward…I'm sorry," I say, looking down at my hands.

"Bella, look at me," he says sternly, my eyes flick upwards. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I never explained myself, even when I had the chance. I kept leading you on, fucking with your mind, and that makes me a piece of shit."

"But Edward, I kept coming back. I must be a glutton for your punishment," I giggle, trying to lighten the mood.

"I don't deserve you," he whispers.

"Don't you think that's for me to decide?" I retort. "But there is one thing I have to know, why do you hate Jake so much?" I say quietly, as if someone is listening.

He sighs loudly. "I knew you were going to ask that. Jake is Charlotte's father…" he says, his fists clenching.

"What?" I screech.

"Yup," he begins, "Victoria had Charlotte after a one night stand with Jake. Jake denies it and refuses to pay for child support. I tell Victoria she needs to take him to court, but she's afraid they'll see her as an unfit mother. Victoria has some…um…problems."

I am completely taken aback.

"But why does Peter allow him to work for him? I mean isn't that like…awkward?"

"My father doesn't know. Victoria never felt the need to tell him, and he never asked who the father was. Peter isn't really a big part of Charlotte's life, or any of ours for that matter."

He continued, "Jake and I used to be best friends. We met each other on a local rodeo tour. He was into calf roping and I was just starting out with my bull riding thing. We became pretty good friends after that. That was until I introduced him to Victoria."

This was a lot of information to take in. I was completely wrong about…everything.

"I guess I can understand now why you aren't exactly happy around him," I utter.

"Bella, seeing him with you was my worst nightmares come true. I can't explain my possessiveness towards you, but even if you don't want me, I couldn't let him ruin your life. You are better than him. I know I always showed my emotions with my fists around him, but to me…he deserves it."

Jake had always been nice to me, there for me when Edward wasn't…but I believed Edward. I trusted him.

"Wow," was all that I could muster up. Edward sat there, allowing me to soak in all the information that I was just given.

"How…Why…" I could find the words.

"I know it's a fucked up situation Bella…"

"How can you even stand to be in the same room with him?"

"I can't…and that why it usually ends in me kicking the shit out of him…" he trails off. "But Bella, I need to know…"

I am instantly confused. "What?" I ask.

He looks down at my shirt.

_FUCK!_

"Oh god. Edward no!" I scream "I didn't have sex with him. I swear. All I did was sleep in his bed with him, but all we did was _sleep_, I promise, he never touched me. And never will," I plead.

He laughs. "I trust you Bella. But just so you know, if he ever touches you, against your will or not, I will cut his fucking balls off," he says, completely serious.

_Oh my possessive Edward, _

I laugh nervously. "You don't need to go caveman style and club me over the head and drag me back to your cave."

"Oh Bella, but I do. I will fight for you, whoever may come along."

I blush.

"So beautiful," he says, rubbing my cheek.

"It's not beautiful. It's embarrassing," I say.

He grabs my forearm slightly.

"Bella, everything about you is beautiful," he says as he lies back down again, pulling me down with him. I fall into the crook of his arm, a place that I am finally happy to be in. We lay there in the sunshine, already saying more than we wanted to today. I turn over, so that I am facing Edward. All I can do is stare. I run my hand up his neck, running it over his Adam's apple. I continue up his face, feeling his prickly stubble on my fingertips. I make it to his ear, and then run my hand through his hair.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see the bulge in his pants grow bigger.

"You better stop that, unless you plan on doing something about it," he says.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I say, trying not to laugh.

"Oh Bella. You are definitely going to be the death of me."

He removes my hand from his hair, and flips over and his body is now on top of mind. He holds his upper body up with his arm, the veins in them protruding. I can feel his hot breath on my face, they are shallow and fast. His lips smash into mine, his stubble stinging my face slightly. We are both kissing each other passionately and furiously, both our tongues fighting for domination. He unglues his lips from mine, continuing small kisses on my neck and collarbone until he stops. He lifts up slightly, eyeing my t-shirt. I nod, silently telling him to take it off. He grabs the collar, ripping it in half down the front. I can't help but laugh. He pulls it off my arms, tossing it into a nearby bush. His fingers trail across my rib cage as he plants small kisses on my stomach. His hand moves from my side and makes its way under my bra. He palms my boob, pinching my nipple in the process. Waves of ecstasy flood my body, my breath becoming shallow.

"Fuck..." I mutter under my breath.

I can feel his member straining against his pants, the head of it digging into my inner thigh. I lift my arms up, my hands wrapping around the collar of his leather riding jacket. He rolls his shoulder, shrugging it off. He grabs it out in front of me, rolling it into a rough ball. He then tucks it behind my head, as a make shift pillow. I smile, and he flashes a panty soaking one in return.

I squeeze my hands down in between our bodies, trying to undo his belt. As I unlatch it, I slowly drag it out from its belt loops, tossing it to the side. I can feel his dick pulsate, knowing that it is dying for attention. He gets up again, lifting his shirt off. I will never get over the sight of him without a shirt on. Using his feet, he pulls off my boots, followed by his. I plant kisses on him, anywhere that my mouth can reach. He groans loudly and I take it as a sign that he likes it.

I stop. "Some fucking family isn't going to come trotting through here are they Edward?" I ask.

"No Bella, were out in the middle of nowhere. And if they do, they'd be trespassing on private property," he explains.

"Umm then aren't _we_ trespassing on private property?"

"It isn't trespassing when you own theproperty," he smirks.

"What?"

"I own this property Bella…but can we please talk about this later?" he begs.

I giggle.

"Now where were we..." he says. "Oh yeah." He plants his tongue on my collarbone, dragging the tip of it up my neck and around to my ear. I grab down at the button on his jeans, realizing that they are button fly.

_Crap, this is going to take me forever. _

As I begin to unsnap the first one, Edward stops me.

"Bella, I can't. This is not what I want our first time to be...this" he stutters nervously, "…our first time can't be in the middle of a goddamn field, in the mother fucking dirt"

"But I like to be dirty…Edward," I say with amusement on my face.

"You make it really difficult to be a gentleman when you talk like that."

"Then don't _be_ a gentleman," I respond.

He shakes his head from side to side. "What am I going to do with you?"

"You mean _to _me," I smile.

"Looks like we got a rowdy one," he says, obviously to no one.

"Oh Edward, you have no idea."

As much as my pussy is screaming for attention, I'm kinda glad that he stopped.

He gets up, pulling his shirt off the ground and hands it to me. I look at him confused.

"I don't think I'd appreciate you flashing your bra to everyone in town while riding on the back of my motorcycle Bella," he says.

"Oh. Right…" I say, remembering I am shirtless now.

I pull on the shirt, tying it into a knot at one side. I instantly smell his scent on me, a swirl of musky cologne attacks my nostrils. My new favorite smell in the world. Edward pulls back on his boots and then his riding jacket. He takes his belt, shoving it into his pocket. He grabs both my boots from the ground handing them to me.

"I should throw these things over the fucking cliff. They didn't feel so good going into my shins last night" he laughs. "But I can't say that I didn't deserve it. Surprised you didn't shove one up my ass either."

"Well if you pull any shit like that again, you can guarantee it," I say grabbing the boots from his hands.

I pull them on when Edward offers his hand to help me up. I grasp it and he lifts me off of ground in one swift motion. I swat my hands across the butt of my jeans, getting the dirt and weeds off.

"Here let me help," he says, wiping his hands on my butt.

I smack it away. "I think you have had enough from the cookie jar for today."

He looks at me, staring. "Just so you know Bella, I_ always_ get what I want," he says in all seriousness, but then a small lips form a small grin.

"Well then mister, you have met your match," I respond.

He leans over, giving me a peck on my nose, "I sure hope so."

_Butterflies._

I lean up, putting my mouth near his ear, taking my tongue and flicking it on the top of it. I then bolt off running in the direction of the Ducati.

"Oh my Bella, you better run faster!" I can hear him shout. I giggle loudly. The adrenaline is pumping through my body, but it can't seem to grasp as much oxygen as I need.

_Fuck you need to exercise more._

I look over my shoulder, trying to see if he is following me. When I can't see him anywhere, I look back forward and that's when I see him standing a few feet in front of me.

"Holy Mother of fuck!" I scream, clenching my hand over my heart. "How in the hell…"

"Property owner remember? I know many shortcuts…" he grins.

"No fair you cheated!" I accuse.

"Think of it as outsmarting Bella…"

"Whatever, you still cheated…"I say, trying to act pissed.

He runs towards me, scooping me up and putting me over his shoulder. He takes off again, running at an incredible speed towards the road. I laugh uncontrollably, my hands clawing into his back. I look out in front of me, the trees in my eye line flying by. Before I know it, we make it out of the tree line and we are standing next to his bike. He lifts me down off his shoulder, letting my body slide down the front of him.

He holds me a few inches off the ground, so that our eyes are level. He places his lips softly on mine.

"Mine," he utters.

"So Ms. Bella…." he starts. "Holy shit, I don't even know your last name…"

I laugh. "Who's the playboy now? Making out and rubbing your dick all over someone and not even know their last name. Tisk tisk."

He shoots me a daggered look.

"Jesus. Don't get your panties in a twist. It's Swan."

He grabs my hand in his. "Well Ms. Swan... I want to ask you something…" he says, giving me a sideways smirk. "Can I take you on a date?"

I laugh, feeling like I am high school again. I look at my wrist, pretending to look at a watch that isn't there.

"Oh I don't know, I've got so much stuff planned. Maybe I can squeeze you in...next Wednesday?" I joke.

"Oh Bella…you're surely going to give me a run for my money aren't you?"

"You better believe it," I say, giving him my toothiest grin. I lean up on my tippy toes and give him a peck. "Yes Edward, I would love to go on a date with you."

He picks up the helmet, sliding it back on my head.

"Ok, I have to say, you wearing my helmet makes my dick twitch in agony," he confesses.

I blush. He jumps on the bike, starting it up.

"Where are we going?" I ask before getting on.

"I've got to take care of some stuff over at my father's, but I promise I'll be over later to pick you up."

"Ok," I say, slightly disappointed.

We make it back to Tanya's house and Edward dismounts the motorcycle, turning around to face me. He then puts his arms around me, lifting me off the bike and setting me on my feet.

"You promise you'll be back?"

"Bella, you couldn't make me stay away," he whispers. He plants his lips on mine. I close my eyes and slowly mask his movements.

That when I hear, "Bella Marie Swan" in an authoritative voice, coming from behind me. I turn around and see Rosalie standing on the porch, her arms folded.

"Shut it bitch," I call towards her.

Edward looks at me, clearly confused. "She probably hasn't taken her batshit crazy meds today," I kid.

I grab his hand, dragging him towards the front door.

Rose gives me the stink eye, and then runs her eyes up and down Edward.

"I don't think you've officially met," I say. "Rose, this is Edward. Edward this is my BEST friend Rose," I say, giving her a "don't be a fucking bitch" look.

Edward holds his hand out towards her. "Nice to meet you ma'am."

Rose huffs. "Do I look like a ma'am to you?"

"ROSE!" I scream.

"Fine. Nice to meet you Edward." She takes his hand, shaking it, and then releasing it almost instantaneously.

I sigh in relief. That is until she opens her mouth again.

"Oh and Edward, just so you know, if you ever fuck with Bella again, I will hunt you down and castrate you."

Edward laughs. "No wonder Emmett likes you."

Rose turns on her heels and goes back inside, and Edward and I are alone on the porch.

"Well, I better get going, the sooner I leave the sooner I get back," he smiles.

"Ok. Well I'll see you soon," I say, leaning in to kiss him.

"Be back before you know it," he says before walking off the porch.

I turn around, heading into the house. I slam the door shut behind me, and then lean my body against it. Breathing hard.

A smile takes over my face.

"Bella?" I hear, coming from the living room.

I walk out of the foyer and see Alice and Rose sitting on the couch.

"Have a good night Bella?" Alice asks smiling.

"Good night? No. Good morning. Yes." I answer.

Alice fly's off the couch, wrapping her arms around me.

"Oh Bella, I knew you would work things out!" she says.

"You did?" I say, lifting my eyebrow.

"Come on Bella, you know I have visions. I knew you would end up together. And every time I'm right!" she squeals.

"Well why don't you go "vision" me some lottery numbers then?" Rose barks.

Alice turns to Rose. "It doesn't work that way, and you know it."

"Whatever Alice," Rose says, rolling her eyes.

Alice turns her attention back to me. "So tell me everything!"

"It was all a big misunderstanding. I really don't want to repeat it. But long story short, Edward is the good guy, Jake's the bad guy," I start.

"Wait, what?" she asks, confused.

"Alice, I don't really know if it's my story to tell," I start, pleading her not to press it further.

Rose would have a field day with that story.

"Ok Bella," she says.

I mouth thank you to her.

"Can I ask just one question?" Alice says.

"Umm sure"

"Have you talked about the fact that we are going home in less than 3 weeks?"

My heart drops. Honestly, I hadn't even thought about it.

"No," I squeak.

"Oh ok," Alice says, clearly seeing the distress on my face.

I leave the living room, heading upstairs. Once I get to my room, I realize that I really don't know what to do so I decide to lay on my bed, replaying everything that has happened in the past 24 hours. I close my eyes, enjoying the silence. But almost seconds later, my phone starts ringing. I jump up, grabbing it off the dresser. I look at the screen, the word "mom" flashes across it.

I put the phone up to my ear. "Hey mom," I say.

"My Bella! How's Nevada treating you?"

I smile.

"It's fine mom. It's hot as fuck though, I miss the Seattle weather."

_Please don't ask me. Please don't ask me._

"Oh I'm sure there are a lot of sexy boys running around without shirts then!"

_If you only knew. _

"Yup."

"Bella? Are you alright, you know if you are having problems you can tell me."

_Right mom. Like I would do that._

"I'm fine Renee," I say, hoping that the short answer will make her stop.

"Oh honey, I meant to tell you! We're going to be opening a shop in Forks."

"Really? That's so awesome."

"Yeah honey, now you can move back here and work with me!"

"Mom, you really think I can work in a bakery? I burn the fuck out of water."

"Bella, quit swearing. Boys don't like girls with dirty mouths."

I grin.

"Oh Mom! Alice is calling me, we gotta go do some…umm shopping. Talk you to soon okay? Bye!" I say, hanging up before she has time to respond.

I love my mom, but sometimes she makes my skin crawl. I think she forgets I'm not her little girl anymore.

I set my phone back down on the dresser, wondering what the fuck I am going to do until Edward comes back. I look at myself in the full length mirror, realizing that I am still wearing Edward's shirt. I look around the room, feeling like someone might catch what I'm about to do.

I pull the collar of the shirt up and over my nose, breathing in deeply. His scent over takes my body and I can feel my muscles relax. It's almost like he is my own brand of heroin, I need his scent near me. I close my eyes, taking in all that has happened today. I can't stop smiling.

That is until I realized I left my shirt at Jake's.

_Guess I can kiss that t-shirt goodbye. _

The whole thing with Jake is strange. I never got the dead beat dad vibe from Jake. But I guess you can't read a book by its cover.

A low chime emerges from my cell phone

_One unread message._

Part of me is scared to open it. Maybe he changed his mind.

I click "read."

**I'm going to fucking punch him.**

My heart begins to race.

**What? Who are you talking about Edward?**

I already know the answer to that.

**That good for nothing prick. **

**Edward, he's not worth it. Please just walk away. **

**He's walking around here with your t-shirt in his back pocket. He's doing it on purpose. I'm going to pound his fucking face in. **

**Edward, just forget about it. For me.**

**Dating one day and I'm already pussy whipped. This is so very wrong.**

**You like being whipped Edward, just admit it.**

**I'd like it better if I was whipping you. **

_Oh. _

**Maybe we can test that theory.**

**Looking forward to it. See you in about an hour, wear something nice. **

My stomach is doing flip flops.

**Ok. **

I jump up off my bed, heading for the bathroom. I walk over to the bath tub, turning the water on. I grab my razor from my toiletry kit, knowing that these bad boys need to be tamed. I strip off my clothes, neatly folding up Edward's shirt and put it on the counter. I sink down into the tub, the hot water scalding my skin.

"Fuck!" I scream.

I lay my head back against the ceramic, letting my muscles relax.

**EPOV**

Leaving her at that house was the last thing that I wanted to do at this moment. But when Peter calls, you don't say 'later', you come running. My father and I always had a strained relationship. He wasn't always known for being the most chivalrous man on the planet. Peter is all about business, and if anyone stepped in his way he ran them the fuck over. My father was never around for anything, even when we were young. My mom was the one who took care of my sister and me, my father never putting in any effort. I had always loved my mother; she and I were always close. My father and sister used to pick on me and call me "momma's boy," but I didn't give a shit, she was my world. The day we lost her was the worst day of my life to date. At just 14, I never knew I could feel that much pain.

_I was walking home from school one day with Victoria and as we reached our driveway, I noticed multiple cop cars parked near our front door. I instantly knew there was something very wrong. Victoria and I looked at each other, the fear confirmed in each other's faces. I grabbed Victoria's book bag from her, and we took off running towards the front door. I stopped at the sight of my father, who was sitting on our front porch with his face in his hands. As we walked to him, he still didn't look at us. I know this can't be good. A moment later my aunt walks through the front door from inside the house, her eyes swelled from crying. _

"_Peter, what are we going to tell them?" she cries out._

"_Tell us what?" I scream, my eyes boaring into my father. _

_No answer. _

"_Dad! What the fuck is going on?" I scream again, this time at the top of my lungs._

"_Your mother," was all that he mumbled. And that's all the explanation I needed. _

_Victoria looks at me, obviously still confused. Victoria is 2 years older than me, but she was always so naïve. My aunt places her hand on Victoria's shoulder, a sign of sympathy._

"_Come on sweeti_e_. Let's go for a walk," she says, pulling her close._

_My aunt gives me a concerned look, and then looks down at my father. She wants me to console him._

_As my sister and aunt leave down the driveway, I sit down next to him, not really knowing what to say. And neither does he. _

_"__She's gone," he mutters, almost confused._

_My heart falls into my stomach. The pricks in my eyes become painful, but I refuse to let the tears fall. Men don't cry. At least that's what my father always told me. _

_Realizing that I wasn't going to get anything out of him, I get up and head towards the front door. I push it open slowly, almost wishing hoping that I would wake up from this nightmare. The house is eerily quiet, nothing stirring. I drop our backpacks in the living room, making my way towards the kitchen. The kitchen was always the first place we went when we got home from school. She always had a snack waiting for us. I always begged her for something not so "healthy", but she never budged. _

_I round the corner to the kitchen, and my fears are confirmed. She's nowhere to be found. My eyes can almost trick myself into seeing her standing behind the kitchen island. Her wearing her sunflower apron, her hair up in barrettes. I walk closer into the heart of the kitchen, something wet and sticky squishes under my boots. I look down, noticing the shattered glass on the floor. I look back up at the two small colorful plates that are placed on top of the counter. Instead of them holding the usual fruit or crackers she normally gives us, there are two heart shaped cookies on each of them. It's almost like she knew. The tears burst out of my eyes at an alarming rate. I slide my back down to the front of the refrigerator, eventually falling to the floor. The juice is being soaked up by my jeans, but I can't make my legs move. After a few seconds, I shake my head, forcing myself to stop. I wipe my face on my jacket sleeve, pulling myself off the floor. As soon as I am upright, I start running, bursting back out the front door. I make it down the porch, hearing my father yelling my name in the background. _

_I make it down our driveway, running as fast as my legs can carry me. There is only one place my mind and body wants to be. I take off in the direction of the wilderness, a place that I am very familiar with. When I make it to the familiar break in the trees, my body begins to slow down. This was my mother's favorite place in the city, somewhere she kept secret to everyone but me. She would bring me out here whenever the weather was nice. She would come out here to read, while I usually practiced my lasso. _

_I walk over to the cliff side, plopping myself down. I stare out over the city, everything looking so calm and serene. If only true life really was._

_She's gone. _

Pulling into the ranch always makes my skin crawl. I can instantly feel BOTH of their presences on the farm.

I pull down to the barn area, parking my truck. I make sure to park close enough to the red Jeep, blocking it in.

I jump down from my truck, sliding my white Stetson onto my head. I lean back into my truck, grabbing my sunglasses from the center console. I put them on my face, my eyes relaxing. I start walking over to the barn, running into my father.

"What did you drag me all the fucking way down here for?" I gripe.

"Watch your fucking language Edward."

"Seriously? You're kidding right?" I ask, rolling my eyes.

"I didn't have you come here to argue with me, I need your help," he states.

"Fine. What do you need?"

"I need you to help me pin down a mare, she won't takes her pills, so were gonna have to inject it into her. Just a warning though, she's a fighter."

"Whatever. Not like I haven't been kicked in the balls before," I shrug.

My father turns around, heading back into the barn. I follow, already regretting my decision of coming here. When we make it to the stalls, I see Jake leaning against one of the horse stalls, holding a rope. I walk right past him, holding my anger back.

"Morning," Jake says condescendingly.

"Fuck you," I spat.

My father huffs. "Jesus Christ, it's too early for your petty bullshit Edward"

"You've got to be fucking kidding me. I don't know why you keep this fucker around. He's fucking useless," I say, pointing my thumb out at Jake.

"I do remember once when you guys were best friends," he states.

"Yeah well shit changes," I say.

"Sure does," Jake adds, smiling.

I'll beat that mother fucking smile off your face if you keep it up.

"Let's just get this fucking shit over with, I gotta a date with Bella"

Jake's smile drops. I grin.

_I win. _

"Alright, Jake I want you to put the lasso around her neck, Edward, I want to hold her neck straight out, so that I can inject the fluids into it.

"Fine," I say.

All three of us walk into the stall. Jake slides the rope around her neck slowly, trying not to spook her. I put my arms around her neck, feeling her tense in my hands. I brush my fingers along her mane, trying to calm her down. My father steps to the side of me, jamming the needle into her neck, releasing the fluids. As soon as the needle is embedded, she bucks, sending her legs backwards. She misses Jake by inches.

_Damn. _

My father removes the needle.

"Alright, were all done here."

"You needed me to come all the way over for _that?"_ I growl.

"Yes," is all he says.

"Whatever," I say, heading back towards my truck. That is until I see a familiar red and blue checkered fabric hanging out of the back of Jake's pocket.

_Fucking asshole._

I walk over to Jake, my temper flared.

"Fucking give it to me, now," I say, holding my hand out.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he grins.

I sigh loudly.

"Just give it to me Jake."

"Dude, you can fuck off."

So thoroughly pissed off, I leave the barn, knowing that if I get in another fight with him, I might not be able to stop. I jump back into my truck, pulling out my phone. I begin texting the one person I know that will calm me down.

In the middle of our conversation, I hear a rap on the side of my truck. I look in my side mirror, Jake is standing at my tailgate.

"Move your fucking piece of shit," he says, kicking my tire.

I turn my truck on, revving my engine. I put it in drive, kicking up gravel in Jake's direction as I pull out.

**BPOV**

I pull myself from the bathtub, my fingers and toes thoroughly pruned. I wrap the soft cotton towel around me, and walk towards the closet. I run my fingers along the different pieces of clothing that has been hung up, not knowing what I should wear. My fingers find a dress hung up in the very back.

Guess that little black dress is going to get use after all.

I pull it off the hanger. I'm glad that it's made of cotton, making it so that it requires no up keep.

I throw is on my bed. I dry off my body, putting on pair of matching black lace bra and thong first. I throw on the dress, it fitting me like a glove. The v neckline exposing just a small amount of cleavage.

I stare in the mirror, smiling.

_Not too shabby. _

I pull on the only pair of heels that I own. Of course, Alice talked me into bringing them.

I walk back into the bathroom, putting on some brown eye shadow and lip gloss when I hear Alice call my name from downstairs. My heart flutters, knowing that he is here.

I walk downstairs, tripping a little on the bottom step.

_Shit, maybe heels weren't a good idea._

I fix myself, straightening up the bottom of my dress. When I look up, my eyes meet with his. I smile, to match the smirk on his face.

_Maybe I need to go back upstairs and grab another pair of panties. _

I scan his body. He's wearing a pair of dark jeans, a black button up dress shirt, his aviator sunglasses hanging from it, and a new pair of boots.

"Ready darlin?" he says, holding his arm out.


	7. Chapter 7 Edge of Desire

_"So young and full of running_  
_all the way to the edge of desire_  
_steady my breathing_  
_silently screaming_  
_I have to have you now"_

_~ Edge of Desire by John Mayer_

I walk out the door, turning around to flash Rose and Alice my toothiest grin. The butterflies in my stomach are active tonight. As we make it down the front porch, Edward unhooks my arm from his, and grabs my hand instead. He stops walking, turning around to face me.

"You look beautiful tonight Bella. It's going to be really hard to keep my fucking hands off you," he admits.

I blush.

"Then don't," I whisper.

His hand trails down my back all the way to my ass. He squeezes it lightly. A small squeal escapes my throat.

"Come on, we better get going," he says, grabbing his keys out of his pocket.

I look over, seeing that Edward's truck is nowhere around. Instead, there is a sleek black muscle car parked in front of us.

"Where's the truck?" I ask.

"Thought I'd take my other love for a ride tonight," he says, laughing.

I cross my arms.

"Just how many loves do you have Edward?" I ask, trying to be serious.

He walks over, wrapping his arms around me.

"At this moment? Four," he states, kissing the tip of my nose.

_Asshole. _

He walks over to the passenger door, opens it and waits for me to get in. I stride over, sliding myself into the seat. Edward looks down, flashing me a smile. He shuts the door softly, walks around the front of the car, and slides himself into the driver's seat. Seeing Edward behind the wheel of this car is so different from seeing him in the truck. It makes him look like James Dean.

He puts the key in the ignition, and the car roars to life. It's so loud I feel my bones rattling. To be honest it's making me kinda hot.

"So Edward, do you tuck this thing in at night?" I joke.

"Hey baby, don't be knocking on the Chevelle. Keep it up and this thing will be sleeping with me instead of you," he shoots back.

"Wasn't planning on sleeping with you anyways," I laugh.

"Is that so?" he says, looking at me from the corner of his eye.

"You can bet your britches," I state.

"I'd rather be getting into yours."

"Oh but Edward, I'm not wearing any," I say, in my most fake southern accent.

I see his knuckles turn white as he grips hard onto the steering wheel. That is until one of them releases, and finds its way onto my left knee cap. I instantly take a sharp intake of breath, the tightening in my stomach growing. His long fingers trace small circles, and then slowly drag along my inner thigh. At this point I feel like I am going pass out, slowly realizing what his touch does to me. When his hand reaches my sex, I can see a frown develop on his face. He then retracts his fingers hastily.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

He turns to me. "You lied Bella. And you are going to pay for that, believe me," he says, a mixture of seriousness and playfulness.

_Oh.  
_  
"Looking forward to it cowboy," I respond.

He shakes his head slowly, turning his attention back to the road.

I lean slightly forward and begin tuning through the radio stations. After about the fifteenth one, I hear Edward sigh.

"For the love of Christ, just leave it on a fucking station," he snaps.

I slam back in my seat, leaving it on whatever station was last. I stare down at my hands, the atmosphere clearly stifled.

"Shit!" Edward moans, slamming his palms into steering wheel. "Bella baby, I'm sorry. Victoria use to do that all the time and it drove me fucking nuts. I know you didn't mean any harm."

"It's ok," I mutter wondering if I'll ever get used to his sudden mood changes.

He reaches over, interlocking his hand with mine and brings our hands up to his mouth and places a small kiss on the back of mine. He mouths I'm sorry again. I smile in return.

We drive for about another 10 minutes, before pulling into a crowded parking lot. Edward pulls into a section of the lot with the least amount of cars, and farthest away from the front door. He shuts off the engine, and exits the vehicle. Before he can reach my side, I fling the door open, and slide out of the seat. When he reaches me, he's clearly confused.

"I think it's really sweet that you are such a gentleman Edward, but I can open my own door," I smile. "Plus, why in the hell did you park so far away from the front door?"

"So no one scratches my baby," he says, pointing towards the car.

I roll my eyes.

"Yeah, but your other baby now has to walk through a dirt parking lot in stilet..."

Before I even have time to finish my sentence, Edward scoops me up and starts strolling across the parking lot. I lean down, holding onto the edge of my dress, clearly trying not to flash everyone in the parking lot my cooter.

By the time we reach the front door, my abs hurt from laughing so hard. Edward sets me down on the ground, planting a soft but passionate kiss on my lips. The restaurant is nice, an upscale steakhouse.

"Ready to get some grub?" he asks.

"Yes, I'm starving," I respond.

When we reach the hostess podium, a leggy blonde smiles after taking a long look at Edward.

"Table for two?" she asks as she looks down at her seating chart. "Is outside alright?" she says, barely taking her eyes off of him.

"Yes ma'am," he says.

I kick Edward in the shin, making him wince.

He looks down at me smiling. The blond grabs two menus, heading towards the balcony. Edward puts his arm out, ushering me to walk in front of him. I can feel his eyes boring into me, so I do a little ass shake. I look back over my shoulder, and Edward is shaking his head slowly while laughing.

_That's right baby_

When we make it to the table, the air outside has a comfortable heat. Edward walks over to my side, pulling out the chair for me.

I swear being around him is sometimes like being in an old time movie. No boys at home are even close to being this polite. I sit down, Edwards slides the chair in behind me.

"Thank you," I say.

"Anytime miss," he says.

He then walks around the table, sitting across from me. The patio is dark, but the candle on the table flickers light onto his face. The waitress comes by, handing us our menus.

"Is there something I can get you two to drink?" she asks us.

"I'll take a Heineken," I say.

I look over at Edward, his mouth slightly open.

"What?" I ask.

"A woman who eats steak and drinks beer. I am never letting you go," he says, still stunned.

"Well it will probably end up on my ass, but I like to enjoy eating."

I notice that the waitress is still standing there.

"What can I get for you darlin?" she says, now facing Edward.

"I'll take a Heineken as well," he says.

"Coming right up," she says before turning towards the kitchen.

I open the menu, realizing that it extremely hard to read. I lean over, putting my menu as close to the candle flame as possible.

"Jesus Christ, I can't see shit," I say, smacking my menu closed. "So Edward, what's good here?"

"Well what are you in the mood for Bella?"

"Meat," I say, flicking one of my eyebrows up.

Edward looks down, trying to hide his laughter with his menu. I love being able to get a rise out of him.

The waitress comes back with our beers. I instantly take a swig, the outside heat making my mouth dry.

"Y'all ready to order?" she says.

Edward looks at me.

"Just order for me," I say, waving my hand at him.

"We'll each take the filet. Cooked medium. Twice baked potatoes. Salad, " he says, handing the menus back to her.

When she leaves the table, I take a few sips of my beer. I look over at Edward and notice that he is looking down at his lap. I hear a small sigh come from his lips.

"Everything ok Edward?"

He looks up at me, "I'm sorry Bella. But I need to take this call," he says, standing up.

"Ok." I say

He walks over and plants a kiss on the top of my head.

"I'll be back before you have time to miss me," he laughs.

"Who says I'd miss you?" I joke.

"Ouch," he says, clenching his chest.

I small giggle escapes from my mouth. He walks away, hoping over the small fence that encloses the patio. I can see him pull the phone to his ear.

I discreetly watch him as he converses with whoever is on the other end. I see his brows furrow, and his lips moving fast. He's clearly yelling. When I see him turn back around, I look down at my hands. When he comes back to the table, he is clearly disturbed.

I look at him, waiting for an explanation.

"Sorry, that was my sister. I swear she can't go one night without calling me."

"Oh. Do you need to go?" I ask, disappointment clear in my voice.

Edward takes my hands, looking into my eyes.

"Bella, I am right where I need to be."

My heart flutters slightly.

"Where did you come from? You are like straight out of a Jane Austen novel."

"A what?"

"Never mind," I say, taking another swig off my beer.

Edward continues to hold onto my hand until the food arrives. We are pretty silent while eating, Edward eating his food fast. As I chew on my steak, I stretch my foot out, and that's when I find Edward's. I pull my foot back down, and kick off my stiletto heel, then return my foot onto Edward leg, slowly dragging my foot closer to his crotch. I look up at Edward from underneath my eyelashes and see that he is looking down at his plate, not eating. I continue to run my foot up to his crotch, paying special attention to his member, which is rock hard at this point.

_That was fast. _

I hear a loud shutter, and notice that Edward has dropped his fork onto his plate. I can feel his body shaking, his breathing becoming more labored. I stare straight into his eyes, biting my lips slightly. I begin to turn my foot in small circular patterns, the heat from his package traveling into my toes. Edward shifts his hips into my foot, making the friction more strained. I pull my foot away, as Edward grunts.

I look around, realizing that we are now alone on the patio. I pick up my napkin off my lap, setting it gently to the side of my plate. I flip up the side of the table cloth, sliding my way down underneath. As I make my way over to Edward's side, I sit there for a couple seconds, wondering if he is going to stop me. That is until I see Edward's hand under the table. He flicks his index finger, giving me a "come hither" gesture. I slide over so that I am in direct eyesight with crotch. I reach up to his belt buckle, noticing that my hands are shaky.

I have been with plenty of guys, but I never felt this...well whorish…before.

Once I get the belt buckle undone, I slowly undo the zipper of his jeans. It's then that I realize that Edward's not wearing any underwear.

_Easy access. _

I reach my hand into his pants, feeling his length across my hand, it's easily almost double its normal size. I awkwardly trying to get it out of his jeans, but noticing that I'm having a little trouble, Edward reaches down shoving his hand down his pants. He pulls out his cock, nearly slapping me in the face.

I swear I hear angels sing.

At this point, I have to remind myself to keep breathing. His member is standing at attention, and not a single crook in it. It's perfect both in length and girth. I reach up, grabbing it with my palms. I begin to slowly stroke it, turning the skin as I do so. I feel Edwards body tense immediately and I run my fingertips over the head, already feeling the stickiness on them. I lick my lips and place my mouth over the top. I can smell his cologne.

_Must have it in body wash too. _

I slide my mouth as far as it can go, his tip maxing out on the back of my throat. I slowly retract, sucking in slightly. I pull my mouth off, and begin flicking the tip with my tongue. Edward's hips start bucking, a for sure sign that he is enjoying it. As I place my mouth back on it, I begin to bob my hear up and down, going faster with each movement. I am startled slightly when I feel Edward hand wrench into the hair, pulling it harshly. He then palms the back of my head, pushing my mouth deeper onto him. I drag my teeth slightly against the skin, making him pull harder on my hair. Just as I am about to continue, I see a pair of black sneakers come to the table. Edward lets go of my hair, and waves me a "no" under the table.

"Where'd your lady friend run off to?" I hear her say.

"Ummm….she ran to the bathroom," he says.

"Well I guess I'll take this opportunity to give you my number, call me when you get rid of the tart," she says.

"Uhh thanks," I hear Edward say.

A wave of jealousy washes through me, and my body does an unconscious spasm. My head hits the bottom of the table.

_Shit. _

I rub my head for a few seconds, and then divert my attention back to my task at hand. I slide my fingers up and down his shaft, then flicking my tongue on the underside. Edward's hips buck hard.

"Is there anything else I can get you darlin?" I hear her say, in the most fake sweet voice.

"Check. Immediately," I hear Edward say, almost moaning.

I place my hand back on his member, stroking it as hard and fast as I can. I then place my lips back on his cock, my saliva sliding down it.

Edward pulls on my hair as hard as he can, apparently still trying to tell me to stop. All I can do is grin.

"You don't want nothing else sweets?"

"No," he says through gritted teeth.

"Alright," I hear her say, and the black shoes disappear from the tableside.

I suck as hard as I can, my mouth going in unison with my hand. I'm pumping and sucking as hard and fast as my body will allow. I can feel Edwards member convulsing in my mouth, and I swear it grows harder. Edward's palm is on the back of my head and before I know it, I feel a warm substance hit the back of my throat.

I can hear a small moan escape him, and then a low growl. When he is drained, I pull my lips off, my tongue giving it one more flick at the tip. I pull myself up slightly, feeling a tad bit of pain in my knees. I head back over to my side, peering out from underneath, making sure no one is around. I slide my body into my chair, reaching out, and grabbing my beer in my hand. I take a sip, watching Edward as I do so.

The look on his face is priceless, almost like he's seen a ghost. I take my napkin off the table, and wipe the corners of my mouth delicately. Before either of us have time to speak, the waitress is back with our check. When she sets it on the table, she looks at us, a small smile enveloped on her lips.

_Shit. She knows. _

Edward leans back in his chair, re zipping his pants and putting the buckle back on. He then leans forward, pulling his wallet out of his back pocket in which he pulls out two 100 dollar bills, slapping it down. It's clearly more than the bill. He stands up, grabbing my arm, practically wrenching my out of my seat.

"Edward! Wait" I say, laughing.

I lean back down, grabbing my shoe from the floor. I hobble on one leg, sliding it back on my foot. Edward is walking so fast that I can barely keep up with him.

"Edward, slow down. You're going to rip my arm off," I say.

When we reach the Chevelle, Edward grabs me, slamming me slightly in the hood. Our foreheads are touching, and I can feel his hot breath of my face.

"Bella Bella Bella…what am I going to do with you?" he asks harshly.

His hand begins sliding up my thigh, then reaches around grabbing my ass, hard. A loud shriek escapes my lips. I look around, a few people scattered in the parking lot are staring.

"Edward, people are staring."

"Let them."

He begins kissing my neck, nibbling at it after a few seconds. I can feel his shaft beginning to get hard against my legs. Looks like he's ready for round two.

He peels his lips off of me and I immediately pout. His lips and tongue are my addiction.

"Let's go," he says, walking over to my side of the car.

He opens the door, ushering me inside. Once Edward gets in, he turns on the engine, revving it as loud as he can.

_Boys and their toys. _

He throws it in reverse, and then pulls out of the parking lot, kicking up a lot of gravel in the process. As we pull out the parking lot, Edward cuts off multiple people in the process. I can't help but giggle.

The ride is silent, the sexual tension thick, until Edward speaks.

"I didn't even ask you if you wanted to come to my house," he states.

_There's my gentleman._

"I would love to Edward," I reply.

A smile takes over his face. As we reach his house, we pull into a different spot in the garage, in the same spot where I saw a covered vehicle yesterday.

When I exit the car, Edward is waiting for me. He takes my hand, leading me into the house. Edward and I walk into the kitchen and he places his car keys on the hook. I follow, my heels clicking on the wood floor.

"Can I get you anything to drink? I've got water…or beer. Fuck I need to go shopping," Edward asks, standing in front of the fridge. I walk over, putting my arms around him.

I stand up on my tippy toes, giving him a small kiss. "I'd love a beer."

He reaches in the fridge, grabbing one. He turns around, lining the top of it with the side of his counter. He smacks the top on the bottle, making the cap fly off the opposite direction, and then hands it to me.

I stand there with my mouth open.

"What?" he asks.

"I wanna do that!" I scream with excitement.

He pulls another one out of the fridge.

"Have at it kid," he says, handing it to me.

I put the corner of the cap on the edge of the counter, and try to mirror Edward's action. But instead of hitting the top on the bottle, I smack my palm hard onto the granite counter top.

"Shit!" I scream as I let go of the bottle.

The glass shatters everywhere, and my legs and feet are covered in beer.

"Edward, I'm so sorry," I say as I lean down, trying to pick up the pieces of glass off the floor.

"Bella, STOP!" he shouts.

I continue to look down at the floor, not really knowing what to say. Edward then leans down, his fingers underneath my chin, making me look at him.

"You probably have glass in your shoes, please don't move," he says. He then picks me up, placing me on top of the counter. He reaches down my leg, taking off my heels.

"I'll be right back."

He walks over to the sink, grabbing a dish towel on the way. He runs it under the water, damping it slightly. He walks back over to me, wiping the towel up and down my leg. I look up at him and smile.

"Sorry I'm such a spaz."

"Bella, that's one of the many things I love about you."

I laugh. "Yeah, right."

Edward sets the towel down next to me, and slides his body in between my legs. He presses his lips to mine. His kiss is slow at first, but then becomes passionate. His tongue massages mine and I can feel the butterflies in my stomach. I put my arms around his waist, and that's when I feel wetness on my finger tips. I pull my lips from his.

"Oh fuck, I got beer on your shirt. Guess we'll have to take it off," I say, my fingers reaching for the top buttons. I slowly undo each one, staring at Edward the whole time. When I get to the bottom one, I push it off, letting it fall to the floor. I place my lips on his chest, feeling his body heat on my face. I breathe in, smelling his cologne. I move my lips from his chest, stretching out to reach his neck. He places his hands in my hair, slowly his grip tightens. That is until we hear a voice.

"You do better not be fucking on the kitchen counter," I hear a male voice say, immediately after I hear the sound of high heels clicking on the floor.

_Great._

When I turn around, I see Jackson, Alice, Rose and Emmett staring back at me. All of their faces holding a grin.

"You know I do own this mother fucking counter, so I think I can do what, or _who_ I want to on it," Edward says.

He looks back down at me, placing his forehead on mine. "Later, I promise," he whispers.

He puts his arms around my waist, lifting me back off the counter. He stands behind me, re buttoning his shirt.

"I've gotta pee," Alice says.

"Bathroom is upstairs, first door on the left," Edward says.

Alice stands there, looking at me. Clearly she wants me to come with her.

"Be right back," I say to Edward.

"Man, what's with women always going to the bathroom together?" Emmett asks.

"It's so we can all compare your dick sizes," Rose responds.

Alice, Rose and I walk upstairs together. I realize that I've never been up here, and I'm finding it hard not to snoop. When we make it to the bathroom, Alice heads to the toilet, and sits down.

Rose and I stand there, looking at each other.

"So, nice digs he's got here," Rose states.

_I am shocked to hear that coming from her lips. _

"Yeah, I guess," I say, looking around.

I notice that the bathroom is very feminine. Very unlike Edward.

After Alice goes pee, I realize that I need to too. I pull my underwear off, sitting down on the toilet.

"So have you guys had sex yet?" Rose asks.

"Since when did you get so nosey?"

"Really Bella? Have we never met?"

I sigh. "No we haven't. But we were working towards that when you four walked in the door."

Neither of them says anything.

"Just be careful Bella. I hear that he gets around. Make sure to use protection," Alice pipes in.

"Thanks Mom," I retort.

I finishing peeing and pull up my underwear.

We leave the bathroom and start walking downstairs. As we get to the bottom of the stairs, I hear the boys laughing, all of them stopping when we get in enter the room. I stare at Edward, flicking one of my eyebrows upward.

He just looks at me, giving me a huge grin. I narrow my eyes at him.

_You better not have told them. _

"So what are we all discussing?" Rose asks.

"Edward was just telling us Bella's beer bottle opening experience. You should be a bar tender Bella." Emmett says, a deep laugh escaping his throat.

"Bite me Em," I say, smirking.

"So why are you guys here?" Edward asks.

_Yeah, why the hell are you here?_

"Were gonna head down to Cadillac Ranch, you guys wanna go?" Jackson asks.

Edward looks at me, silently asking me if I want to go.

"I guess we could go down for a drink or two," I say.

"Alright," Edward huffs. "Let's head out then," he says, shooing everyone out of the kitchen.

I walk back over, grabbing my heels off the counter. I slide them back on, Edward looking disappointed.

We all filter back out through the garage.

"Which one?" I ask, standing between the Raptor and the Chevelle.

"Truck," Edward says, opening the passenger door.

I lean up, kissing him. "One drink."

"One fucking drink," he responds.

When we make it to the bar, it's crowded. Guess that's what we get for going out on a Friday night. Part of me is worried that Jake might be here, not wanting to cause any more scenes, but I don't seem to see him. We walk up to the bar, Jackson ordering each of us a shot. The bartender pours 6 shot of Jack Daniels.

"On the house bro," the bartender says to Jackson.

Jackson nods and then hands one to me, Rose, and Alice. Edward and Emmett grab theirs off the bar. We all hold them in the air.

"Here's to you and here's to me, and here's to all the girls that lick us where we pee!" Emmett toasts, laughing.

_Boys are fucking disgusting._

We all down our shots in unison. It burns slightly, but not as bad as the one at the party.

"Ok, well we had our one drink, let's go," Edward says, grabbing my hand.

I look at him, laughing while shaking my head.

"So who's going to ride the mechanical bull? I did it last time!" Alice says.

"We know Alice, we were all here," I explain.

"Oh yeah," she chuckles.

"I think Bella should do it," Rose suggests.

"Yeah, in this fucking dress. Right," I say.

"I have a pair of leggings in my purse," Alice says.

_God damnit. _

"Only you Alice," I say.

Edward wraps his arms around me.

"You riding that bull would be so hot," he whispers in my ear. "Actually, just thinking about it makes my dick hard."

I giggle. "Fine. Alice, come on, let's go to the bathroom."

Alice follows me into the bathroom, sure enough pulling a black pair of leggings out of her mini purse.

I take off my heels, sliding the leggings on under my dress. I look in the mirror, my heart is pounding furiously.

I walk out of the bathroom and head towards our group, noticing that a few more bodies have been added. Edward is sitting on a bar stool, a leggy brunette sitting next to him. A fire grows inside of me. I see her put her hand on Edwards shoulder, and I pick up my pace. When Edward's eyes meet mine, a look of worry spreads across his face. When I reach him, I grab the top of his shirt in my hand, slamming his face into mine.

I assault his mouth with mine and effectively turn my body, so that my back is facing the brunette. I feel her shift as she leaps off the barstool, leaving us alone.

I pull my face from Edward's, a little out of breath.

"And I thought I was the possessive one," he chuckles.

"You ready to get out of here?" I ask, suddenly thinking the ride on the mechanical bull is _not _the ride I'm really after.

"Fuck yes," he says, leading me out the door.

When we make it to the house, both of us can't get out of the car fast enough. As soon as we make it inside, Edward grabs me, slamming my body up against the wall, throwing his keys on the floor in the process. I chuck my purse, letting it land somewhere by the staircase. Edward grabs me by my legs, thrusting me up vertically. I wrap my legs around his waist, my heels digging into his back. His mouth crashes on my neck, his lips covering every inch. I put my hands in his hair, pulling his head back slightly. His deep green eyes reflect in mine, his touch screaming passion. His hands leave my ass, his hips pinning me against the wall instead. They travel from my hips and reach between my legs. He hooks his finger underneath my thong, grazing my clit in the process.

"So wet my Bella," he breaths into my mouth.

His fingers continue to graze my sex, and he pushes his index finger inside me. I gasp as he flicks it upward, hitting my G-Spot. He starts pumping his arm, sliding it in and out fast. After a few dozen pumps he adds another. I scream out.

After a few minutes I can feel the familiar pressure building up in me, my body convulsing.

"Edward, I think I'm gonna…" I start to say, until he removes his fingers from me completely.

"What the fuck?" I scream.

"Oh Bella, you think I'm just going to let you come that quick? I told you that you were going to pay for that little thong lie," he says, smirking.

_For the love of Christ_.

His lips are back on me, his tongue grazing my ear.

"I want you in my bed," he whispers.

All I can do is shake my head yes.

He pulls my body from the wall, and starts walking up the stairs, carrying me 'a la bride' style. When we make it to the top, he turns left and we are facing double doors. I can feel his hands trying to pull on the knob, but seems to be having trouble.

"Mother fucker!" he groans.

I can't help but let laughter escape me. After a few more failed attempts, he takes a step back, and then slams his foot into them, making them fly open.

When we get in his room its pitch black dark. Edward walks over to the left and drops me, my back hitting something plush. For a second I feel alone, until I feel the weight of his chest on top of me. I feel around, making out the front of his shirt. I hastily unbutton all of them, sliding it off. I then reach down, my fingers finding his pants, undoing it fast. He gets up slightly pulling them off. I can feel his hard member on me, the skin of it soft against me. He then stands up, flicking on a small lap near his bedside. It lights up the room slightly and I can now see him. Edward is standing, completely naked. My breath hitches inside my chest, breathing suddenly feels difficult. My eyes scan from his face, down his chiseled chest, over his cut lines and continuing down to his package.

At the site of his cock standing erect, my sex becomes even wetter, naturally responding to the gloriousness in front of me.

Edward grabs my foot, placing his mouth on the top of it. He trails small kisses up my leg, stopping where my dress starts. His hands come up to my chest, his eyes staring at me. His fingers trail across the v neck part of it, and he forcefully rips it in half.

I give him an amused look.

"Don't worry Bella, I'll buy you a new one," he grins.

"Fuck the dress Edward, I need you… now," I groan.

"Bella, I've needed you for a long time," he responds.

I lean up, putting my tongue on his chin. The rough stubble drags across it, making me lick him harder. I hear a low growl come from his chest. I lean up slightly, unhooking my bra. I throw it off to the side. Edwards's eyes widen.

"Like what you see?" I giggle.

"You're perfect Bella."

I giggle, feeling the burn in my cheeks.

I reach down around him, trying to slip my heels off.

"Leave them on," he whispers.

He slides his mouth down my body, his mouth stopping at my thong. He wraps his teeth around it, slowly dragging it downward. When he gets it off, he smiles and places small kisses on my sex. In turn, my hips buck, wanting so much more than that. He sticks his tongue in between my lips, hitting my clit.

"Fuck Edward…" I moan.

"You like that baby?"

"Don't stop," I scream.

He returns his tongue back to my clit, flicking it fast, and then slows. The waves of pleasure are radiating through my body, my head almost going numb.

I can't take it anymore. I need him in me.

"Edward..." I say.

He stops, looking up at me.

"I need you to fuck me," I moan.

His face lights up, like he just won the fucking lottery. My smile matches his.

He slides off the bed, again the sight of his hard cock makes me whimper. To be honest, I know it's going to hurt. I'm no virgin, but I've never had one that big.

"Bella, umm are you on…" he asks.

I blush.

"No."

He reaches over, grabbing a condom out of his nightstand. I sit up on my elbows, watching him. He puts the package to his mouth, ripping it open, pulling it out. He places the condom on the tip, slowly sliding it down the shaft. It's tight, the girth of his member straining it. I can't help but stare, Edward clearly noticing. He lays back down on me, and centers himself with my opening. His emerald green eyes stare into mine, silently asking me if I'm ready. I nod my head up and down slightly. He pushes his hips forward, his shaft sliding the tip into me slightly. I wince, biting my lip.

"Bella…." he says, trying to slide out.

I grab his hips. "No…just slow," I say.

He slowly begins to push into me more.

"Fuck Bella…you so tight. I'm having a really hard time not busting my load right now."

I giggle, probably out of nervousness.

Once he gets fully inside me, I can feel myself loosen a little. He pulls it out, and then pushes it back in, very slowly at first. He picks up his pace, my body responding to every thrust. I slam my mouth to his, my tongue attacking his mouth. I bit his lip gently, which makes him thrust faster. I put my hands into his hair, tugging it. He is now thrusting into me hard and small whimpers begin to leave my mouth, pouring into his. His left arm lifts off the bed, and begins grazing my nipple, and then he squeezes it hard.

"Ahhhhh…." I moan out.

My hips begin to move, making his shaft slide even farther in. A massive wave of ecstasy flows through me, running from my head to my toes.

"Edward…I think I'm gonna…" I mutter.

He reaches down, pinching my clit.

My body begins to shake, pure pleasure taking over all my senses. I scream out while I ride out the orgasm, and then I feel Edward's member pulse frantically inside of me.

"Fuck Bella…" he cries through gritted teeth as he rides out his.

When we both come down from our high, we look at each other, smiling.

He leans down, giving me a peck of the mouth.

"Watching you scream was the hottest fucking thing I have ever seen in my life. And your tight pussy is a gift from God."

I smile. "Your cock ain't so bad either."

He slowly slides out of me and I can already feel the soreness.

"I'll be right back," he says, walking into the bathroom. I get a nice view of his ass, making me want round 2.

He comes back after a few minutes, rubbing his eyes.

"Tired there cowboy?" I ask.

"Nope," he says, clearly lying.

He lies down on left side of the bed, dragging me up into the crook of his arm. We lay there for a couple of minutes before my eyes become heavy, and I surrender to it.


	8. Chapter 8 Beautiful Mess

_"What a beautiful mess, what a beautiful mess I'm in spending all my time with you _  
_There's nothing else I'd rather do. _  
_What a sweet addiction that I'm caught up in, cause I can't get enough _  
_Can't stop the hunger for your love. _  
_What a beautiful mess, what a beautiful mess I'm in."_

_~ Beautiful Mess by Diamond Rio_

**EPOV**

After I leave my father's ranch, I find myself hustling home. When I get there I pull into the garage, climbing from my truck. I pull the collar of my shirt up and over my nose, realizing I smell like horse shit. I pull off my shirt, throwing it in the direction of the washing machine in the garage. I kick off my boots, pulling my jeans down after. I walk inside, placing my keys on the hook, where they always go.

_Yeah, I've got OCD tendencies. _

Going into the kitchen I pull a shot glass and a bottle of Jack from the cupboard. I pour myself one, downing it fast. The burn in my throat reminds me of the similar burn when I'm kissing Bella. I place the bottle back on the shelf, label side out then wash the glass, placing it upside down in the drying rack.

I leave the kitchen and walk upstairs. When I enter the room I walk over to the shower, turning it on. Stepping into the shower I let the hot water relax the tense muscles in my back. I lean my head back under the water, running my hands through it. I reach out, grabbing my shampoo/body wash combo. I pour some in my hand, lathering it up. I slather some into my hair and then take the remaining amount on my palm and scrub it down my body. The water quickly becomes brown at my feet from the dirt falling off my body. I close my eyes and the image of Bella in that skimpy polkadot bikini flashes across my eyes. I can feel myself harden instantly. I reach down, wrapping my fingers around my cock. I start to pump slowly, the body wash serving as lubricant. My mind shifts from the bikini, to the scene on the couch. I begin to pump faster, my breathing becoming hitched. I pump as hard as I can; the muscles in my arms are becoming strained. Before I know it I come, spraying all over the glass door. I lean on the wall, placing my head on my forearm.

I am panting, my body physically drained. When I come down from my high, the nerves begin to stir inside me. I've taken plenty of women on dates before, but something about Bella is different. I haven't worried about impressing a girl in a long time. I've spent so many years surrounded by buckle bunnies trying to impress me; I'd forgotten what it felt like to want to be the one making a good impression. She was the first girl in years that I really thought was interested in _me_, not the rich bull rider they saw on TV. I wanted her to like me. Hell… I wanted her to more than like me.

I reach back turning off the water and step out, pulling the towel off the hook. I run it through my hair, then drying off my body. I wrap it around my waist, tucking it in at one side. Getting over to my sink, I stare at myself in the mirror. I run my hands across my chin, feeling the stubble. I look at the clock on my phone, realizing I am short on time.

_Guess shaving will have to wait._

I throw on some deodorant and spray myself with my favorite cologne. Going into my closet, I pull out a pair of jeans and a button up shirt. I throw them on, walking back into the bathroom. I run my hands through my damp hair, because I don't actually own a comb.

I walk back downstairs, sliding my wallet and phone in my pockets. I go over to my keys hook, and start to grab the set to the Raptor. I then let go, deciding to grab the other pair. I turn off all the lights downstairs, heading back out through the garage. I walk to the left, dragging the car cover off the vehicle. I lean down, sliding into the driver seat. I put the keys in the ignition and rev the engine.

_It's been too long._

I push the garage opener, slowly backing out.

….

When we reach the front of the restaurant, I place Bella down on the ground and pull the front door open. When we get to the hostess, I notice her staring at me, but my eyes are all on Bella. I hear the hostess say something, but I'm not really paying attention.

"Yes ma'am," an automatic answer coming out of my mouth.

Bella kicks me in the shins, not really knowing what the fuck for. If she keeps it up, I'm going to need to wear fucking shin guards around her.

As the hostess leaves her podium, I wave Bella on, ushering her to walk in front of me. Just watching Bella strut in her heels makes my dick strain in my pants. When we reach the table, I walk over to Bella's chair pulling it out for her.

"Thank you," she says.

To be honest, I am surprised that she thanks me. Opening doors and pulling out chairs comes natural to me, something my mother ingrained in me ever since I was little. When we sit down, I notice that Bella is having trouble reading the menu. I stifle a laugh.

When the waitress comes by to take our drink order, I figure Bella is just going to get water or some girly shit, but she absolutely floors me when the word 'Heineken' leaves her mouth. I think I love this woman already.

As we wait our food to come, I stare at Bella, the candle light flickering off her face. To be honest, I've taken plenty of women here on "dates," if that's what they were. I wouldn't tell Bella that, but this place cooks a pretty mean steak, the food here is fucking spectacular. I know Bella is still skeptical about all the woman I am constantly around, but to be honest, it's part of the job.

With Bella it's not just a physical reaction, although don't get me wrong, everything about her body sets me on fire. But being around Bella is as easy as breathing, conversation is never strained, and I never feel like I have to hide things from her.

While we're waiting for our food, my phone rings and I'm instantly aggravated. I lean back, pulling it out of my pocket. I look at the screen. Victoria.

_Fuck_

"Everything ok Edward?" Bella asks.

I look up at her, "I'm sorry Bella. But I need to take this call."

"Ok," she says.

I get out of my chair and walk over and plant a kiss on the top of her head.

"I'll be back before you have time to miss me."

"Who says I'd miss you?"

I put my fist to my chest, pretending that she broke my heart. I walk over to the edge of the patio, climbing over the small fence. I put the phone up to my ear, hearing yelling on the other end.

"Hello?" I shout into the phone.

"Edward?" I hear Victoria say into the phone.

"Edward," she repeats. "I need you to come over and take care of Charlotte."

I sigh loudly into the phone. "Victoria, I can't."

"What?" she says, shocked. "I thought you were done with riding for a couple weeks?"

"I am. But I'm on a….date," I say, for some reason embarrassed to admit it.

"With who?" she asks.

"No one you know…" I say, turning back around to look at Bella. I can't hold a smile back. I get lost in looking at her.

I hear "EDWARD!" being yelled in my ear again.

"Fuck! What?" I yell back.

"I really need you Edward."

I sigh.

"Victoria, I am always there when you need me, but tonight I just can't" I say, knowing I am in the exact spot I should be.

I hear her hang up.

I shake my head.

_She'll get over it_.

I walk back over to the table, Bella looks confused.

"Sorry, that was my sister. I swear she can't go one night without calling me."

"Oh. Do you need to go?" she asks. I can hear the disappointment in her voice.

I put her hand in mine. "Bella, I am right where I need to be."

We both smile. I sit down, waiting for our meal to arrive. When the waitress comes, she places my plate in front of me first. I shake my head slightly.

_Ladies first. Always._

As she sets the plate down, she grazes my arm with her fingertips, not on accident I'm sure. I look up at Bella, who is looking down at the table. When we both get our meals, we eat in silence, only communicating by staring at each other.

Somewhere between my steak and my second beer, I feel Bella's heel on my foot. Once she touches me she pulls away and I figure she must have done it accidentally, until not 5 seconds later I feel her bare foot back on me. Her foot slowly drags up my leg, traveling towards my crotch. I can't look at her, so I just stare down at my plate. When she reaches my crotch, I drop my fork onto my plate, making a loud crashing sound.

I sit there, thinking she's going to stop, but when I look back up, Bella is out of her seat. I look around, confused, until I hear something shuffle underneath the table.

_Sweet baby Jesus._

I look around, seeing that we are alone on the patio.

_Fuck it._

I pull my hand underneath the table, gesturing for her to come closer. I can feel her slide toward me, her small hands reach up for my belt buckle. I slide down, to give her better access. At this point I really fucking wish the table wasn't here, so I could see her beautiful face.

After she gets my belt off I can tell she's having a little trouble, so I reach down, fishing it out myself. I am already extremely hard, thinking about what she's planning on doing.

_Is she really gonna do this? Here?_

I feel Bella's tiny hands grip me and a surge of pleasure hits me like a tidal wave. My body tenses as she runs her soft fingers up and down my dick, surrounding the head. She glides her finger over the top of it, my fluids spreading down the shaft. Then I feel her lips wrap around it and I think I am going to explode.

I grip onto the table cloth so tight I almost rip it off the fucking table. Bella continues to run her mouth up and down my cock, every once in a while stopping to flick it with her tongue.

If I were to die right now, I would be content.

I reach down, grabbing her hair, pulling it. I can tell she likes it, because I feel vibrations on my dick, resulting from her moaning. She drags her teeth along it, and I pull tighter. Just as the ecstasy becomes too much, the waitress returns. I put my hand under the table, begging her to stop.

That's when the waitress hands me a small piece of paper with her phone number on it. I am shocked that this is happening, hoping that Bella can't hear us, but I highly doubt that she can't.

"Is there anything else I can get you darlin?" I hear the waitress say.

"Check. Immediately," I moan.

After a few more short answers, the waitress leaves.

I feel Bella's mouth back on my shaft, her mouth sliding up and down it as hard as she can. I can no longer take it, the waves of pleasure becoming too much. I release into her mouth, feeling like an asshole.

_What if she doesn't swallow? _

But as I release into her, I don't feel her back away. I think my dick pulses a little more. When I stop coming I feel her lips retract, my dick already missing the warmth of her mouth.

_Where is that fucking waitress with the bill? _

I suddenly feel like can't get out of this restaurant fast enough. I need to get Bella back to my house. I need to get Bella in my bed. Immediately.

However when we make it back to the house, our cockblocking friends decide to show up. I am shocked when Bella agrees to go to the bar. I want nothing more than to get her in my bed, but something about me can't say no to her.

When we get to the bar, we all take a shot, the burn from the whisky feeling good going down my throat. Bella promised one drink so when we downed them, I grab her hand.

"Ok, well we had our one drink, let's go," I say.

Bella laughs.

"So who's going to ride the mechanical bull? I did it last time!" I hear Alice squeal.

I faintly hear the girls banter back and forth, until Rose pipes that Bella should do it. I definitely then turn my attention back to them.

I wrap my arms around Bella. "You riding that bull would be so hot," I whisper into her ear. "Actually, just thinking about it makes my dick hard."

Bella laughs, she and Alice head off to go to the bathroom together.

As Bella walks away, huge grin envelopes on my face. At least I'll get something good out of this trip. I sit back down on the bar stool, noticing that Jackson and Emmett have gone to mingle with other people. I look to my left, a brunette is staring at me while smiling. I immediately recognize her, remember seeing her around the arena a lot. I look away, not wanting anything to do with her. However, not ten seconds later I feel a figure shift onto the stool besides me.

"Hey there," a delicate voice says.

I look over, my eyes meeting the brunettes.

"Hi," I say, not trying to be rude.

"You're Edward Masen right?" she asks.

"Yup," I answer knowing what is probably about to happen next.

She places her hand on my knee.

_Yep, I was right, another buckle bunny about to make a play. Please God, don't let Bella come out of the bathroom right now… _

"I have watched every one of your rides."

"Uh thanks."

_Sure you have sweetie._

"I bet you could stay on me for longer than 8 seconds."

Just as I am about to give her my standard brush off and ask her to leave, my eyes lock with Bella's.

_Fuck, how am I going to explain this?_

As she comes strolling up, I'm unsure how she is going to react. As she reaches me, I open my mouth to explain, but her hands wrap up in my shirt, her lips slamming into mine. Bella shifts her body so that I can't see the brunette anymore. The kiss is so hot I forget where I am. I've definitely forgotten all about needing to get rid of the pesky brunette who I suddenly realize has already evaporated and is back under whatever rock she crawled out from under.

"And I thought I was the possessive one," I chuckle when Bella finally pulls her mouth off of mine.

"You ready to get out of here?" she asks. I've never wanted anything more in my life.

"Fuck yes," I say, grabbing her as we make our way out the door.

When we reach the house my body can't take not touching Bella's anymore. As soon as we're inside the house I slam Bella up against the wall, attacking her with my mouth. Passion takes over and I chuck my keys down the hallway. Even my OCD tendencies are forgotten, my brain craving Bella more than the need for neatness and order. I feel Bella's legs wrap around me, the heel of her stiletto digging into my hips. The pain radiates through my body, but just makes me want to ravage her more. I let go of Bella's ass, letting my hips hold her against the wall. I move my hand in between her thighs, my finger finding her clit.

"So wet my Bella," I breathe into her ear.

I then push my index finger into her. I flick it upwards, knowing it will drive her insane. I begin pumping my arm, feeling her juices flowing. My dick is straining to get out of my jeans, beginning for attention. Bella's breathing becomes extremely strained.

"Edward, I think I'm gonna…" she starts to say.

I pull my fingers from her, knowing that she is probably going to kill me for that maneuver.

"What the fuck?" she screams.

"Oh Bella, you think I'm just going to let you come that quick? I told you that you were going to pay for that little thong lie," I say.

I place my tongue back on her, grazing her ear.

"I want you in my bed," I whisper.

I see her nod quickly.

I pull her from the wall, carrying her upstairs. When we make it to my bedroom doors I try to open it, but while holding Bella it becomes difficult.

_Fuck. Not now._

I take a step back and slam my foot in between them. Guess steel toed boots have a purpose. When we make it in the room its fucking dark, but I walk in the direction of the bed, setting Bella down. I lean over Bella, her fingers finding my shirt. When she gets it undone she slides it off, going immediately to my jeans.

_Girl doesn't waste any time._

Realizing that I don't like not being able to see her beautiful face I stand up, clicking on the light on my nightstand. I smile when I see the beautiful creature lying before me. I reach down, grabbing her foot. I start to plant small kisses on top of it, her heels making my insides hurt. I continue to trail kisses until I meet the fabric of her dress. My hands reach up to her chest, grabbing the collar. I rip forcefully, the material splitting in half.

Matching bra and panties.

_Fuck me._

"Don't worry Bella, I'll buy you a new one," I grin.

"Fuck the dress Edward, I need you… now," she groans.

"Bella, I've needed you for a long time."

Bella reaches up, placing her mouth on my chin. My dick pulsates hard. She leans up, unclasping her bra.

_Fucking perfect. _

I can't help but stare. Could this girl be any more perfect?

"Like what you see?" she giggles.

"You're perfect Bella."

When she reaches down to take off her heels, I stop her. I then slide down her body, placing her thong in my mouth. I slowly drag it down, placing small kisses everywhere. My tongue finds her clit, and I flick it excessively.

"Fuck Edward…" she moans.

That sound makes me want to slam my dick inside of her.

"You like that baby?"

"Don't stop," she screams.

I place my tongue back on her clit, flicking it as fast as I can.

"Edward…" she starts to say."I need you to fuck me."

The words I have been waiting to hear.

I slide off of her. "Bella…are you on…" I go to ask.

"No," she answers.

I reach down into the drawer of the nightstand, pulling out a condom. I roll one on, looking at Bella.

I lean back into her, lining myself up. I grab it, slowly entering Bella. I hear her wince and I immediately go to pull out.

"Bella…" I say.

She grabs my hips, stopping me. "No…just slow."

I push into her more, going as slow as I can go."Fuck Bella…you so tight. I'm having a really hard time not busting my load right now."

I hear her giggle, making me relax a little. I can feel her sex start to stretch out a little, accommodating my girth some more. I start to thrust faster, the waves of pleasure becoming greater and more frequent. My fingers find her nipples and I tug on them.

She moans. "Edward…I think I'm gonna…"

My body begins to convulse just hearing my name escape her lips.

"Fuck Bella…" I say through gritted teeth.

I hear her scream as she rides out her orgasm, and I can't hold it back any longer. I release into her after a few more pumps. As we both come down from our highs, we stare at each other, smiling.

"Watching you scream was the hottest fucking thing I have ever seen in my life. And your tight pussy is a gift from God."

"Your dick isn't so bad either," she responds.

I slowly slide out of her, needing to get this condom off as soon as possible.

"I'll be right back," I say, walking towards the bathroom. I walk into the bathroom, walking over to the toilet. I pull some toilet paper off the roll, pulling the condom off. I walk back into the room, my orgasm seriously taking a toll on my energy level.

"Tired there cowboy?" she asks.

"Nope," I say, trying to not sound like a pussy.

I plop down on the bed, my breathing finally returning back to normal. I realize that Bella is far away, so I reach over, pulling her into me.

_My Bella. _

**BPOV**

I open my eyes, and stare at a ceiling that is not familiar to me. It takes me a few seconds to get my bearings. I lean over hoping to find a warm body beside me, but I soon realize that I am all alone. Sitting up I look around the room. It's dark out, but I don't feel a presence of anyone. I lean over, looking at the alarm clock. It's 4:30am. I grunt, throwing my body back against the pillows. I try to close my eyes again, until I hear the roar of an engine, not coming from the garage, but from the backyard. I fly out of bed and peek through the curtains, seeing the soft glow of a light in the distance.

I walk away from the window, sliding into the bathroom. I flick the switch on, the brightness blinding me. I walk over to the counter, looking in the mirror. I am not in the same state I was in when I feel asleep. I am wearing a black vneck cotton tshirt. It's large, hanging down past my ass. I pull the collar of it up over my nose and inhale. A familiar scent attacks my nose and I can't help but smile. Going in search of something else I find a door beside me. I turn around and head towards it, opening it slowly. I feel around on the closest wall, finding the light switch. I flick it on and am stunned at the sight in front of me.

Everything in Edward's closet is immaculate, not one thing out of place I feel like I'm doing something I shouldn't be, but there's no one here. I pull open some drawers, looking for some kind of pants I can wear. Reaching the bottom drawer I find a pair of grey drawstring sweats. I pull them out, and that's when I feel something hit my foot. I look down and see an upside down picture frame. It's a picture of a young woman. She's sitting on a porch swing, a young boy beside her. The woman has long flowing, golden brown hair, perfectly matching the little boy's. Her skin is flawless, the yellow in the sunflowers on her apron bouncing off her face. The beautiful woman is looking at the camera, smiling with her head cocked to the side. The little boy's face is directed at the woman, a look of endearment evident on his face. I can feel the love in this picture, it makes my heart grow warm.

I place the picture back in the drawer, face side up. I pull the sweats on, rolling them up a few times so I don't trip over them. I turn around, pulling a pair of slippers from the shelf. I slide them on and head out. I pull the bedroom door open, listening for any sounds of life. It's quiet.

I walk downstairs, hoping Edward would be in the kitchen. He isn't. Flinging open the patio doors, I look, past the pool to the property behind the house. I can now see the glow of the light more clearly, it lightening up a barn. A figure climbs down from a tractor, a hood over its head. I smile, recognizing that ass anywhere. A shiver runs through my spine and I wrap my arms around myself. I go back inside, walking back down the hall to grab my purse off the floor.

I pull my phone out, checking to see if I missed anything. I haven't, but I decide to text Alice anyways.

**Spent the night at Edward's. Be back later. **

I throw my phone back in my purse, not really caring for a reply. My stomach grumbles, my body famished from all the "activities" last night.

I walk back towards the kitchen, pulling the fridge open.

I rummage through what little contents it contains. I get the brilliant idea to make Edward breakfast. I don't cook that often, Alice usually is the one that keeps me fed. I can only think of one thing to make, something my mother used to make all the time. I reach in the fridge, pulling out some eggs and milk. I go to the pantry, praying that he has some kind of bread. Finding a loaf from the panty I place it on the counter. I begin to look through the cabinets, looking for a bowl and a frying pan. When I find both, I pull out a couple eggs, cracking them in the bowl. I add a small amount of milk to it, whipping them up. I pull out a few pieces of bread, smashing them down in the bowl. While those are soaking I place the frying pan on the burner, trying to turn on the heat. I push down on the lever but all I hear is a clicking sound, and no flames ignite. After about 10 seconds I start to smell gas, and then the burner erupts in flames, scaring the shit out of me.

"Fuck!" I yell.

When the pan gets hot, I pull the pieces of bread out of the bowl, dripping egg and milk everywhere. I throw them in the pan, and they make a sizzling sound. As those are cooking I pull the bag of ground coffee out of the refrigerator, walking over to the coffee maker. I open up the top part, looking inside.

_How the fuck does this thing work?_

I notice a sticker on the side containing vague directions.

I pull the glass jug out, filling it up partially with water. I then pour the water into what I assume is the right hole. I open the coffee bag, pouring an unknown amount in. I press the little green button, apparently the "start" button according to the directions.

As I go back over to the frying pan, I grab a spatula. I flip them over, noticing they are a little burnt, but definitely edible. I pull out two plates and two coffee mugs. As I start to set the table, an awful screeching noise starts assaulting my ears. I whip around to see the frying pan engulfed in black smoke.

_Shit!_

I run over to it, switching off the burner. The screeching sound begins to give me headache so I pull a chair up to the smoke detector and wave a kitchen towel back and forth in front of it, begging it to fucking stop. As I hop up and down, I hear the garage door slam.

"Bella, what the fuck is going on in here?" Edward says out of breath.

I look at him. "This thing won't shut the fuck up."

He walks over to me, grabbing the towel out of my hand. "It's a smoke detector, when there is smoke present, its job is to go off."

_Thank you captain obvious. _

"What are you doing in here?" he asks.

I flutter my eyelashes. "I was trying to make you breakfast."

"I can see that," he says scanning the kitchen.

He puts his arm out and I lean into it as he slowly drags me down from the chair.

"It looks like a fucking tornado went off in here," he admits.

I look down at my hands, trying not to cry.

"I..I…I'm sorry," I mutter.

He walks over to the frying pan, peering into it. I walk over to his side.

"It was supposed to be French toast," I say.

He stares at a little while longer, until laughter erupts from his chest.

I look at him, baffled.

"Bella, how in the process, of the half hour I have been outside, have you managed to destroy this entire kitchen?" he asks.

And that's when I can't hold it back. Frustrated tears begin to erupt from my eyes.

He rushes over, wrapping his arms around me. "Fuck Bella. I didn't mean that as a bad thing, I love that you wanted to make me breakfast," he says. "But you're definitely going to give my OCD a run for its money aren't you?"

I look up at him, flicking up my eyebrow. He reaches out, wiping a tear off my cheek. He leans down, giving me a small kiss on my lips.

"Mornin," he whispers.

"Morning," I repeat.

"I'm liking your outfit, looks familiar," he says, smiling.

_God that smile. _

"Yeah I borrowed some stuff, hope you don't mind."

"Mi casa es su casa," he says. "Now, you go sit down, I'll make you something to eat."

I start to protest, but I can tell I would get nowhere. I walk over to the kitchen table, sitting down. I pull my legs up into me, watching Edward.

He throws the frying pan in the sink, running water of it. I laugh when I hear the sizzle. Edward turns his head slightly, giving me a grin. He pulls out a few pieces of bread, popping them in the toaster. He takes out another frying pan and cracks a few egg, scrambling them up. He walks over to the coffee pot, realizing that it's already full.

"Yeah, you might wanna try that first…" I giggle.

He pours some in a mug, takes a swig, and then clenches his chest, falling to the floor. I bolt out of my chair, rounding the center island.

I see him lying on the floor, his arms folded behind his head, smiling.

"You fucking asshole," I say, kicking his feet.

He leans up, grabbing my hips, pulling me down on top of him. Squealing out of shock, I lean down, placing my lips on his. His arms come around my back and he pulls me closer into him. I open my mouth, letting his tongue dance with mine. I drag my arms across his chest, up and over his shoulders.

He pulls away and I start to pout.

"We better get up, before we burn another breakfast," he says.

He picks me up with him and places me on the counter, giving me a peck on the cheek.

"Now watch here little lady," he says.

He takes a spatula, tuning over the eggs. After a few more seconds, he pulls them out of the pan, placing them on the plates I pulled out earlier. I hear the toast pop, Edward butters them and puts them on the plates.

"Ready?" he asks.

"How do you make it look so easy?" I say.

"Some people just have the gene. You're clearly lacking it," he says laughing.

I glare at him.

"Come on," he says, grabbing the plates and walking towards the table.

"What about the coffee?" I ask.

He looks back at me, his eyes widening.

"Well, all I can say is if you drink one cup of that you will be awake for a month."

"Jesus Christ, I can't do anything right," I declare, sitting down at the table dejected.

"Oh but Bella, _some_ things you do are out of this world," he say grinning. I can't help but smile.

I stab the eggs with my fork. A sigh escapes me as soon as they touch my mouth.

"Please don't make that noise or I'm going to bend you over this table," he says.

I look up, smirking at him.

_Bring it. _

We eat in silence, my body thanking me for the nutrition. When I'm finished I push my plate back, leaning back in my chair. When Edward finishes he sits back, staring at me. I get up from my chair, wanting nothing more than to feel his skin on mine. I sit down on his lap sideways, nuzzling my head under his neck. He puts his arms around me, holding me tight. I sit there for a few seconds before an overwhelming smell attacks my nostrils.

I lean back, waving my hand in front of my nose.

"Jesus…" I lean into him, "You really smell."

"Ahh but Bella, that's the smell of a hard working man."

I lean back down, whispering in his ear. "Wanna go take a shower?"

"God yes," he says loudly.

I get up from his lap, holding my hand out. He doesn't take it, but instead he picks me up, throwing me over his shoulder. I start laughing uncontrollably as he smacks me on my ass. When we make it upstairs, he sets me down inside the bathroom. He reaches into the shower, turning it on. He walks back over to me, placing his fingers underneath my shirt. I instinctively lift my arms up and he slides it over my head. I reach over, my hands falling on the button of his jeans. He kicks off his boots as I undo them, sliding the zipper down. I retract my hands, and then tug on the waist of my sweatpants, pulling them down as well. I walk past Edward, giving him a smirk as I walk by. I get into the shower, the steam is thick and I can't really see. I keep walking, until I bump into a small seat located in the corner. I sit down, waiting for him.

I hear the shower door close, and my heart begins to race. Edward walks over to me, his crotch directly in my face. He leans down, giving me a hard kiss on the mouth. Just as I am about to stand up, Edward kneels. He looks up at me, his green eyes flickering. He runs his fingertips in between my thighs, his touch making me squirm. He wraps one of his arms around my lower back, making me slide forward a little bit. Leaning forward, his face is right at my sex. His tongue traces my inner thighs, making me quiver. His tongue flicks gently on my clit. I buck my hips, an involuntary reaction. He swirls it around, eventually entering it inside of me. I feel like I am going to fall onto the floor in a puddle. He replaces his tongue with a finger. I moan loudly, waves of pleasure radiating through me. He continues to pump his fingers inside of me.

"Harder," I moan.

His speed picks up. I moan louder.

"Fuck Edward…"

The speed of his tongue picks up, my juices flowing. My head starts to become light, and that's when I my orgasm crashes over me. I scream out Edward's name, my hands tangled in his hair. As I come down from my orgasm, Edward withdrawals his tongue. I look at him, my eyes drooping from the mixture of the orgasm and the hot shower.

"You can cook AND give amazing orgasms? You are incredible," I say.

"At your service ma'am," he responds.

"Do you ummm…want me to take care of that?" I ask sheepishly, looking at his rock hard cock. He kicks up his left eyebrow. I'll take that as a yes. I stand up and Edward follows. I push him up against the wall, while reaching over for his body wash. I pour some in my hand, lathering it. I run my right hand down his stomach, over his cutlines and then grasp his member. The bubbles from the body wash makes my hand slide over it easily. I start off slow, but then I pick up speed. I look up at Edward. His head is leaning against the wall, his chest rising and falling fast. I lean up, kissing his protruding Adam's apple. I can feel a loud growl leave Edwards throat, making me pump faster. After a few more seconds, Edward's orgasm takes over, a warm substance hitting my foot. I let the warm water wash it away.

Edward pulls himself off of the wall, coming over.

He laughs. "Sorry."

"It's fine," I respond, laughing. "Not the first time I've been cumed on."

As soon as the words escape my mouth, I regret it.

"So who's ass do I need to kick?" he says, probably not joking.

"It was a long time ago Edward," I say, clearly uncomfortable with the situation. "So when do I get to see you ride next?" I ask, trying to change the topic.

"I don't have another ride til Saturday after next," he responds.

My heart does flip flops in excitement.

_When did I become so attached? I'm beginning to scare myself._

"Oh that's cool. Bet you're happy to have some time off," I say, trying to not sound so desperate.

_I'm sure he doesn't want to spend it with you. _

"That I am," he says. "And I looking forward to spending it with a little brunette with a tight ass," he smirks at me.

I wide grin envelopes on my face.

"Well I guess I better leave then before she shows up," I say, pretending like I am going to step out of the shower.

Edward pulls me back in. "You're not going anywhere," he laughs as he places a small kiss on my lips.

"Do you think we could go by Tanya's house so I can pick up some clothes? Some asshole ripped mine up," I say.

He flips up his eyebrow. "That dress died for a good cause," he laughs. "But if we go to Tanya's house, that means Rose will be there right?"

"I assume so, why?"

He looks away.

"Is the big bad bull rider scared of little old Rosalie?" I taunt, poking him in the chest.

"That bitch scares the hell out of me. She always looks like she is going to rip my balls off and shove them down my throat."

I laugh. "That's exactly what she said she was gonna do."

"Awesome, so looking forward to going over there."

"Don't worry, I'll protect you."

We laugh in unison. After we finish rinsing off in the shower, Edward wraps a towel around me, kissing the top of my head. It's starting to scare me how much I am falling for him so fast.

Edward walks into the closet and disappearing for a few minutes. I walk over to the mirror, taking the towel off of me. I am sort of stunned how comfortable I am around him. With my last boyfriend it took me a whole month just to let him see my tits.

I flip my head over, drying my hair with the towel. When Edward doesn't come back after a while, I go in search of him. When I reach the closet doorway, I'm taken aback by the scene in front of me. Edward is sitting on the floor wrapped in a towel, with the picture frame I'd found earlier clenched in his hands.


	9. Chapter 9 Wrapped Around

**BPOV **

I stand in the doorway, staring down at him. The look on his face is beyond heart breaking. I cough lightly, letting him know that I'm in the room, but he doesn't look up at me. I pull my towel up under my arm pits and saunter over to him, sitting down. I sit there staring at him, waiting for him to talk, to snap out of whatever trance he's in. I want to scream at him, ask him what's wrong, but I can't.

So I just sit there, staring at my hands, waiting.

"I forgot I had this…" he mutters finally."But what I don't understand is how it got in my drawer."

My heart begins to race, feeling like a child getting scolded.

"It was already in there. It fell out when I was pulling out your sweatpants. I put it back where I found it," I say only above a whisper.

He sighs, his eyes never leaving the picture. He is silent again, the tension thick.

"She would have loved you…" he admits, his voice cracking a little.

It's now that I recognize a pair of familiar green eyes in the picture. In fact there are two sets.

"What happened to her Edward?" I ask nervously, something telling me that the story isn't a happy one.

He opens his mouth slightly, and then closes it again.

"Forget I asked," I say quickly not wanting to press the issue. I start to get up when Edward reaches for my wrist.

"Stay," he says simply, his eyes finally looking into mine. He pulls my wrists toward him, making me sit in between his legs. I lean back on his chest as he holds the photo out in front of us.

"Brain aneurism," he states.

My heart drops.

_Oh no. _

"I came home from school one day and she was gone," he starts to talk. "I never got to say goodbye."

I sit there quietly, not wanting to pry. I can feel his chest rise and fall against my back. I want nothing more than to comfort him.

"It was 10 years ago, but I remember like it was yesterday," he says. "We…" he swallows back the emotion that is beginning to rise, "don't talk about it much, especially my father. He never even went to her funeral. He says he couldn't take it. My aunt had to take Victoria and me. A funeral is not something children should have to face alone, but my father didn't care. The day of her death I took off, didn't come home for 3 days. I ran for miles, as fast as my body could take me," he stops abruptly clearly trying to fight back becoming too emotional.

A few seconds later he continues. "But the funny thing is you never know what life will bring you. It was that night that I ran into a local rodeo. I snuck in by climbing the fence in the back, not having any money on me. I was instantly fascinated by the bull riders, how easy they made it look," he snorts.

I can't help but smile.

"I slept those nights out in the meadow in nothing but my coat. It was the only place that I still felt her presence, and the only place I still do."

_Oh. _

A lump starts to form in my throat. I turn around, placing my feet on top of his.

"She sounds wonderful Edward," I say.

He looks at me, his bright green eyes glistening.

"She was," he states.

We sit there staring at each other for a few minutes, neither of us feeling the need to talk. I lean in, giving him a passionate kiss hoping it will help erase some part of the sadness I can see pouring out of him. He pulls his lips from mine, and then stands up suddenly.

"Come on beautiful, let's go get you some clothes," he says, heading out of the closet, grabbing some clothes. I pull myself up off the floor, picking up the photo frame. I walk over to Edward, who is now pulling a t-shirt over his head. I fold out the stand on the picture frame, setting it on the nightstand. He looks over at me, a small grin on his lips. He reaches out, pulling me into his arms.

"Sorry," he mutters.

"Edward, please don't ever apologize. I want to be here for you."

"Thanks Bella."

"Let's get you dressed," he says, smacking my ass lightly. "Here," he says handing me a cotton tshirt.

I reach down, picking my bra up of the floor. Pulling the shirt over my head, I grab the same pair of grey sweatpants, putting them back on.

"Ready?" Edward turns around asking me.

"Yup," I respond.

We make our way downstairs, grabbing my purse along the way. Edward grabs his keys from the floor, ushering me out the door. I slide into the middle of the truck, leaning up against Edward. He grabs my hand, caressing it the entire way. He lets go when his phone starts to ring.

"Yes," he says, answering it.

I hear a male voice on the other end, but can't exactly make out what's being said.

"Ok. Mmm hmm...yeah we're actually right down the street. Be there soon. Ok, bye," he says, then hangs up.

"What's up?" I ask.

"My father needs me to help him with something. You want me to drop you off at Tanya's or do you wanna come with?"

For some reason the thought of being around Peter makes me a little nervous.

"No, I'll come. Unless you don't want me to."

"It should be quick."

"Ok."

We turn onto the gravel driveway, pulling up to the house. Edward walks over to passenger side, opening the door for me. I get out of the truck, grabbing Edward's hand in mine.

"Wait!" I say, stopping in my tracks. "Edward, I'm wearing your fucking sweatpants and shirt."

"So…" Edward says, confused.

"So…I look like shit. Plus, won't your father, like…know?"

"Bella…I think you look fucking amazing in anything you wear, and I don't really give a fuck what he thinks," he says kissing me.

"Ok," I say hesitantly.

We make our way down to the barn, a feeling of déjà vu coming over me. I subconsciously look around for a familiar face, but I see nothing.

When we make it into the horse stalls, I spot Peter, who has his back to us. I let go of Edward's hand.

"Dad," Edward says sternly.

Peter whips around, looks at Edward and then gives me a forbidding look.

"Edward," he responds. "Bella, so nice to see you again," he says, his face not changing, but his eyes shifting up and down taking in my outfit.

I look over at Edward, seeing that he clearly caught his father's expression.

I'm becoming incredibly uncomfortable.

"So, this fucking mare busted down a gate in the back, I need your help to place it back on the hinge. It's heavy as a mother fucker."

_Guess I know where Edward gets his mouth._

We make our way out of the barn, heading to the carrel in the back. He walks over the gate laying down on the ground, his father following him. I stand off to the side, making sure I don't get in their way.

Watching Edward work is oddly arousing. I can see his muscles straining under the weight. He bends over to lift the gate off the ground and my eyes glue to his ass.

_Reminder: thank whoever invented Wranglers. _

As I snap out of la la land, my eyes shift. Edward now faces me, smiling.

I give him my biggest grin possible and a wink.

Edward returns one, and then his face drops, looking at something in the distance.

I turn around, seeing Jake pull up. I look back at Edward, his attention's now back on the gate.

A car door slams and I hear the crunch of the gravel under boots. My heart rate picks up.

I can feel him behind me.

"Hey there beautiful," he says, giving me a smile.

"Hey Jake."

We stand there awkwardly for a second, not really knowing what to say. He folds his arms, staring at Edward and Peter.

"Hey you need some help there?" he yells out.

"No, we got it," Edward snaps back.

Jake chuckles under his breath.

"So…you and Masen huh?" he asks.

"Uh yeah, I mean I guess so," I say, stumbling with my words.

I don't really know what to say, and that kind of scares me. I know how I feel about Edward, but I feel like I'm jumping the gun.

"You're ARE wearing the trademark Masen walk of shame outfit," he says.

I whip around, getting mere inches from his body.

"What the hell is your problem Jake?" I shout, getting Edward's attention.

Before I know it, Edward is at my side.

"What the fuck did you say to her?" Edward screams over the top of my head toward Jake.

"Just making conversation," he states, almost laughing.

Edward steps closer towards him, squishing me between them.

"Edward!" I shout out.

He stops and looks down at me.

"Please, just stop."

He looks at me, his body still rigid with anger. The last thing I want is to be the cause of a blow up between these two right in front of Peter.

"This fucker is just using you to piss me off," he announces.

"Don't say shit you know nothing about Edward," Jake says. "Believe it or not, I enjoyed Bella's company, and I think vice versa, until you fucking decided to stake your claim on her. Did you whip your dick out and piss on her leg yet?"

I'm standing there, my heart and mind going a million miles an hour. Jake had always been nice to me, and it was true, I did enjoy his company when we were together, but knowing that he denies his child and refuses to help Victoria makes a small part of me hate him.

I place my hands on Edward's chest.

"Just go finish up with your father, so we can go," I say, looking up at him. Edward looks back up at Jake, glares and then walks away.

I stand there next to Jake for a few seconds, opening my mouth and then closing it, thinking about what Edward just said. Edward isn't taking his eyes off us.

"Do you just talk to me because you know it pisses Edward off?" I ask.

"No. I truly like you Bella. But I can't lie, watching Masen squirm is too much fun," he says, chuckling.

"You know you don't have to be so hard on him," I say.

Jake laughs loudly. I look over at Edward, who looks like he is about to make his way over here again.

"So it's ok when Edward constantly is in my face, but I can't have a little fun? Got it," he says sternly.

_Shit._

"I'm sorry Jake," I say a little louder than a whisper.

"It's ok," he sighs. "I just wish we had some more time before Masen came in a swooped you up."

_Time for what? _

"You know I'm here for a little while, if you wanna just hang let me know," I say.

"Might have to take you up on that," he says, smiling.

"Here, hand me your phone," I say, holding my hand out.

Jake pulls his phone out of his coat pocket, handing it to me. I take it and put my number in it, under "B"

I hand it back to him, the smile on his face growing. I feel a figure shift beside me. I look up, my eyes meeting Edwards.

"All done here," he says, throwing his arm over my shoulder.

"See ya around Jake," I say.

"Later beautiful," he responds.

Just as Edward and I are about to walk back to the truck, Peter puts his hand on Edward's shoulder.

"Edward, I need to talk to you," he says sternly.

"Fuck," Edward mutters under his breath.

Edward lets go of me. "I'll meet you in the truck."

"Ok," I respond.

Edward walks away, heading up to the house with Peter. I stand there next to Jake for a few minutes.

"Come on, I'll walk you up," Jake says.

Jake and I walk up the long driveway, not really knowing what to say. I had originally felt so relaxed with Jake, now things just seem awkward.

"I really do like you Jake, you know that right? From the short amount of time that I have known you, I've become fond of you."

"But not as much as Masen right?"

"Things with Edward are different, I can't explain it."

"Just please be careful Bella. I don't want you to get hurt."

"I'm a big girl Jake. Plus he's not as bad as you think. Maybe if you two talked more, than you would know that."

"Bella, I've spent a lot more time with him than you have, I know the real Edward."

_The real Edward._

I can't explain it, but those words give me chills.

We make it up to the truck, Jake pulls the tailgate down. I look at him, lifting up one of my eyebrows.

"You sure you wanna do that?" I ask.

Jake plops down on it, making the truck bounce. He laughs, "I'm not afraid of Masen."

I shake my head. "You must have a death wish."

I sit down next to him, leaning my head back. The sun feels good, but after a few minutes, it becomes incredibly hot.

"Hey Jake, is it ok if we go sit on the porch?"

"Yeah," he says, getting up.

We walk over to the wraparound porch, sitting down on the chairs by the front door. The shade is immensely cooler. Jake and I sit there in silence, but not for long when we hear glass shatter inside the house. Jake bolts from his chair, knocking it over in the process. He flings the front door open, and I sit there for a second, wondering if I should follow. When I hear Edward yell, I fly out of mine. When I make it into the house I run in the direction of the commotion. When I reach the kitchen I spot Edward. Peter has him slammed against the wall, his fingers around his throat. I swear Edward's feet are off the ground slightly. Jake has his hand on Peter's back.

"Peter, let him go," Jake says calmly.

_How can he be so calm?_

"Peter," he repeats.

"Mind your own business Jake, if you want to keep your fucking job," Peter responds.

I think a gasp leaves my mouth, because Peter turns his head to look at me, his hand still around Edward's neck.

Peter just looks at me, then back at Edward.

"Get your shit together son," he states, then let's go of him.

Edward coughs hard, bending over slightly. I want to run to him, to console him, but something stops me. Edward stands up, glaring at his father. He brushes past him, making his way to the front door.

I stand there for a few seconds, my eyes not believing the scene that just played out in front of me.

"Bella…I'm going to fucking leave you here!" Edward screams at me.

I turn around, heading towards the front door. When I reach the truck, he's already in the driver seat with the engine running. I stand there on the porch, staring at him. He leans his head out the window.

"Bella, please get in the truck," he begs.

"You don't have to go Bella," Jake says from behind me, making me jump.

"Jesus Christ, you need to learn to be louder," I say turning around to look at him, my hand still on my chest.

"That's funny, people usually say I'm too loud," he laughs.

I hear the revv of the truck engine.

"Gotta go Jake."

"See you soon Bella," Jake says, giving me a tight hug.

I walk down the steps of the porch, my stomach doing flip flops. When I pull the truck door open I slide in, slamming it shut. Edward says nothing while slamming the truck in reverse, backing it down the entire length of the driveway. I can't help but stare down at my hand, picking at my finger nails. When we reach the main road, he throws the truck in drive, making it lurch forward. I look over and my heart sinks when I see red.

Edwards knuckles are cut up, blood running down in between his fingers.

"Edward, you're bleeding," I yell.

"No fucking shit Bella," he snaps back.

_Dick._

I pull my knees up to my chest, hugging my arms around them. Edward groans loudly. When we pull up to the house Edward throws the truck in park, but doesn't turn it off. I reach for the door handle, realizing that Edward hasn't moved.

"You're not coming?" I ask.

"I think I need to spend some time alone," he says, staring out the windshield.

"Edward…" I begin to say.

He finally turns to face me. He reaches out, grazing his fingers against my chin. I can smell the blood.

"I just need time. I'll be back in a little bit," he says, his eyes glazed over. Is it anger or sadness I'm seeing? Or maybe a little of both? I can't tell.

I pull myself from the truck, part of me wanting to stay, another part of me is thoroughly fucking pissed off. I run up to the front door, not looking back. I hear Edward pull out and I can feel my chest tighten.

"Bella?" I hear from the top of the stairs. I look up, seeing Alice at the top of them. At that very moment, I burst into tears.

I was totally overcome by the polar extremes of emotion this day had brought. It started out so amazing and, after the scene in the closet, I felt closer to Edward than I ever had the drama at Peter's place made all of it come crashing back down and here I was left feeling more distant from Edward than ever.

Alice came flying down the stairs, wrapping her arms around me. "Bella, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," I say.

"Doesn't look like nothing."

"Edward and I got in a fight…well not really, but something happened."

Alice's eyes widen. "Bella, he didn't force himself on you did he?"

"Oh god no!" I scream. "Edward got in a fight with his father. Peter actually had him pinned up against the wall and Edward's hands are bloody, but I don't know what happened."

**EPOV**

I swear I must have fucked someone in a past life.

Being around my father and Jake always makes me want to throw things, but having Bella here just makes it worse. I've explained our situation to Bella, yet she continues to talk to that pig. When I see him pull out his phone, handing it to her, I can feel the rage surge through my body. I continue to stare at them, until Bella glances over at me and I have to look away.

If Jake doesn't back off were going to have a real problem. When my father and I get the gate back on its hinges I walk over to Bella, throwing my arm over her shoulder.

"All done here," I say into her ear.

"See ya around Jake," she says.

_Not if I can help it._

Just as we're about to head back to the truck, I feel my father's hand on my back. _Fuck._

"Edward, I need to talk to you," he says sternly.

I look down at Bella, not wanting to leave her alone with _him_, but it seems I have no choice. I let go of her, turning around to follow my father. When we make it into the house my father heads for the kitchen, making me instantly feel on edge. I haven't liked stepping foot in there since the day my mother died. He pulls open the fridge, taking out a beer. He throws one at me.

"I'm good, thanks," I say, placing it down on the breakfast bar.

"Come on Edward, don't be such a fucking pansy. Have a drink."

"I'm not being a pansy. I just don't want a fucking drink."

He sighs loudly. "So what's with Bella showing up here in your clothes Edward?"

"Excuse me?" I say.

"I didn't stutter, you heard me."

"Well to be honest, I don't think that's any of your fucking concern."

"Don't get smart with me boy."

I throw my hands up in the air. I swear I can't do anything right by him.

"I think Bella's too sweet of a girl to be caught up in your bullshit Edward."

"And what bullshit is that?"

"I've heard about your antics. You go through woman like I go through underwear."

"You don't know anything about me."

"Edward, I'm your father, I know a lot about you."

"News to me."

"She seemed to flock to you fast. She must either get around a lot or be after your money,"

The fire inside me ignites.

"What…" I say through gritted teeth.

"Jake won't shut the hell up about her, been talking about her nonstop since day one. Looks like she picked the lesser man."

I can't take this shit anymore. I pick up the beer bottle, hurling it at the wall by my father's head. Before I know it, my body slams up against the wall. I can feel the dry wall crack behind me. His fingers are wrapped tightly around my throat, cutting off my air supply.

He just stands there, looking at me. Showing no emotion. I guess 'asshole' is the only emotion he knows.

"Such a hot head…" he says shaking his head.

I begin to feel light headed, his hold on me incredibly tight. I muster up all my strength and hit him in the face, feeling the rip of the skin on my knuckles. The fucker doesn't flinch. A few seconds later Jake appears.

That fucker needs to get the hell out of here. Then I see Bella. I can feel my heart break.

"Peter, let him go," I hear Jake say.

"Peter," he repeats.

"Mind your own business Jake, if you want to keep your fucking job," I hear my father say.

If I didn't have my father's finger wrapped around my fucking throat, I would have put in my two cents. "Get your shit together son," he says.

A few seconds later he lets go of my throat, making me double over, coughing.

I stand up, and head for the door, wanting to get the fuck out of here as fast as possible. I brush past my father, not looking at any of them in the process. When I make it to the front door, I notice Bella is still in the kitchen.

"Bella…I'm going to fucking leave you here!" I scream out, even though it's a lie.

I get in the truck and slam my keys into the ignition, the Raptor roars to life. Bella is standing on the porch, her arms folded. I roll down the window, begging her to get in the truck. My hands are starting to fucking sting, the blood dripping down the steering wheel and onto the dash. That's when I look back up and notice Jake standing behind her, smiling like an asshole. It takes every single fucking fiber of my being to hold myself in the seat, wanting nothing more to break his fucking teeth. I revv the engine loudly.

Bella turns around, hugging Jake. My fists clench around the leather, making the skin crack further open. When Bella gets in the truck, I can immediately tell she's nervous, but honestly I don't give a fuck at the moment. Throwing the truck in reverse, I back it down the entire length of the driveway. The drive over to Tanya's is quiet. When we pull up to the house I throw the truck in park, letting it idle.

"You're not coming in?" she asks.

"I think I need to spend some time alone…" I say.

_Did those fucking words really leave my mouth?_

"Edward…" The pleading sounds of her voice makes my heart wrench.

I put my fingers on her chin, stroking it gently.

"I just need time. I'll be back in a bit," I say. Then comes something I never thought I would see when I woke up this morning: Bella walking away from me. Putting the truck in reverse, I head for the main road. I drive around aimlessly, not really knowing where to go. Bella's presence seems etched everywhere I look, even the cliff. I find myself heading into downtown Reno toward the Cadillac Ranch. Pulling my truck into the back parking lot reserved for its employees, I'm a little relieved when I spot Jackson's 1968 Chevy pickup in its usual spot. Climbing from the truck, I discard my jacket on the back seat and then head for the rear access door marked 'Employees Only'. The place is silent and empty so it's easy to find Jackson behind the bar. I sit down on the barstool, placing my head on my forearms.

"Rough night?" I hear him say.

"Fucking amazing night, rough morning," I mutter with my face still down.

Jackson shuffles around, glasses clinking. Pulling my head up, I wrap my fingers instinctively around the shot glass that has suddenly appeared in front of me. I place it up to my lips, throwing it back in one swift motion. I put the glass back on the counter, sliding it back towards Jackson. He pours another.

Running my fingers across the rim, I mutter, "What the fuck am I going to do?" while still looking down at my glass.

"About what?" Jackson asks.

"This fucking life," I say.

"Oh boo fucking hoo Edward. Pull your panties out of your vagina," he laughs.

"Fuck you J," I say, trying not to laugh.

"Do I even want to ask what the fuck happened to your hand?"

"Probably not."

He leans down, grabbing a bar towel, throwing some ice in it. He bundles it up, throwing it onto my knuckles.

"FUCK!" I scream.

"Jesus Christ man, Bella sure has turned you into a pussy," he says.

"Fuck you," I say.

Bella. Hearing her name makes me smile. _I am so thoroughly fucked._

I toss the second shot back, this one burning a little. I slide my glass toward him again, in turn making him stare at me.

"Just pour it."

"Speaking of Bella, where is her fine ass this afternoon?" he asks.

I answer by glaring at him. He throws his hands up in surrender.

"I told her I needed some space," I declare, downing my third shot.

"Man, why the hell you beating yourself up? If anyone deserves fucking happiness it's you."

"She's too good for me Jackson."

"You must have a fucking skewed vision of yourself Edward, cause you two are pretty much fucking perfect for each other. She doesn't take your shit, and that's exactly what you need."

"I told her about my mom," I state. "I have never told a woman about her."

"Then that's all the proof you need bro."

What the fuck am I doing here? I go to get up, my head a little fuzzy.

"Fuck," I mutter.

Jackson laughs. "Come on man, I'll take you."

"Hey Steve, I gotta run out for a bit. Be back soon," he says to a man sitting in the office.

"Alright man," he responds.

We make our way out the back, jumping into Jackson's truck. I sit down in the passenger seat, putting my feet up on the dash.

"Boy you better get your damn feet off my dash before I break your fucking legs," Jackson says, pulling out a cigarette.

"Woah man," I say, pulling my feet down.

He holds out the pack. As I grab one, sliding it between my fingers, I flick the Zippo lighter open, sticking the tip of the cigarette in the flame. I breathe in heavily, the smoke filling my lungs, and then blow the smoke out my nose slowly.

When we make it to my house, I stumble out of the car, the shots definitely having more effect on me now. I stumble backwards, catching myself.

"You alright man?" Jacksons asks.

"Jesus J, you don't need to fuckin babysit me."

He laughs, shaking his head. "Still the same angry shithead as always."

Jackson takes off, burning down the driveway. I turn around, making my way to the house. I pull my keys from my pocket, trying to put it in the key hole. After three failed attempts, I give up.

I saunter down off the front step, making my way to the barn. When I reach it, I sit down on a hay stack, grabbing my phone from my back pocket. I shuffle around, finding Bella's number. I hit "call", and wait impatiently to hear her beautiful voice one the other end.

"Hello?"

"Bella…" I mutter into the phone.

"Edward, what's wrong?" she asks.

_What isn't wrong? _

I start laughing for no reason.

"Are you…drunk?" she says.

"NO!" I scream into the phone, not able to control the volume of my voice. "Will you please just come over? I need to see you," I try to say softer.

"I thought you need space?" she asks.

"I lied. I need you, only you"

Fine," she says a little harshly.

"Oh, but you're going to have to find a way to get here, I…um…can't drive."

"Oh yeah, totally not drunk," I hear her mutter into the phone. "I'll have Rose drive me."

"Ok, great."

I hit end on my phone, tossing it on the ground. Time moves by so slowly I feel like I can see 'forever' pass me by. The heat in the barn rises to a point just past 'comfortable' and the alcohol starts sweating out of my body. Since I'm already hot and covered in sweat, I figure I might as well get some work done to pass the time. Climbing on the tractor, I start plowing random patterns into the field beside my house, trying to occupy my mind until Bella arrives.

I don't know what I am going to say to her.

After a while, I grow bored and antsy. I pull myself down from the tractor, walking back toward the barn. I am stopped in my tracks by a beautiful creature leaning against the barn door. She's wearing jeans, a white tank top and her cowboy boots, with her brown hair flowing like a cascade down her back. I think my heart skips a few beats.

_My beautiful Bella._

I put my hands in my pocket, looking down at the ground, feeling like a disciplined puppy. When I finally get the courage to look up, the brown in her eyes is sparkling.

"Bella…" I begin to say.

"Edward…" she says cautiously.

"I don't know what to say."

"Edward, if we are going to do this, you need to communicate with me."

"I know. Bella…I'm not used to having someone care about me so much. Not since _her_. It scares me. I'm waiting for you to give up on me like everyone else."

She takes a step towards me. "Would I be here if I was?"

I run my fingers along her face. "I've waited so long to find you. But now that you're here, I feel like I don't deserve you."

"I think that's for me to decide."

I can't take not touching her anymore. I pull her closer to me, our bodies flush against each other. I put my lips on hers, barely touching, waiting for her to stop me, but she doesn't. I kiss her harder, my hands clutching onto her back. Her hands find their way into my hair, tugging on it. My lips leave hers, traveling across her chin, nibbling on her earlobe.

"Edward…" she breathes out.

Hearing my name leave her lips makes my insides tighten and my dick strain against my jeans. I feel her take my hand in hers, leading me back into the barn. She sits down on top of a hay bale, leaning back on her elbows. She's biting her lip, giving me come fuck me eyes. I lean down, pulling her tank top off. I then work my finger down to her jeans, slowly pulling them off. My eyes meet her panties and I can't take it anymore. They are pure lace, turquoise with black flowers lining the edges. Turquoise …my new favorite color.

She stands up, telling me to pull my boots off. When I do, her tiny fingers go to my jeans. In one swift movement, they come off. I hear Bella giggle, looking down at my underwear. My dick is so hard that I'm pitching a tent.

"All for you baby," I say smirking.

She turns around, walking towards the pile of loose hay on the ground. I can now see that her panties lace up in the back.

_Fuck me. _

She lies down, waiting for me. I pull my underwear off, my dick harder than I can ever remember. I bend down, sliding hers down her legs. I hover my body over her. I reach down, grabbing my cock, lining it up with her entrance. I push inside of her, making her gasp.

I start to thrust faster, the warmth of her surrounding my member. My breathing picks up, thrusting into her harder and harder. Bella throws her head back, moaning loudly.

"Fuck…" she groans. "God Edward…"

I palm her breasts, then bite on her nipples gently. She moans even louder. Her wetness begins to flow, making my dick slide in and out of her easily.

I am in the zone, when I hear a laugh escape Bella's lips. I look down at her, giving a confused look.

"May I ask what's so funny?"

She bites her lip. "This hay is kind of scratching my ass."

I pull out of her, grabbing her hips. I flip us so that I am now on bottom.

My dick is still standing at attention. "Hop on baby."

She looks up at me, smiling. She straddles me, slowly sliding down my length.

"Fuck…" I moan out.

I can feel the tip of my dick hitting her max, the sensation almost too much. She starts to rock her hips back and forth, going faster with each thrust. I reach up, grabbing her hair, pulling on it.

She is now thrusting as fast as she can go and I don't think I can hold on much longer. I release my hand from her hair and place it on her clit. I push my finger over it, rubbing fast.

"Oh my god," she cries out. "That feels so fucking good."

I work my fingers as fast as they go until she screams, her orgasm taking over her. As soon she comes down, she starts thrusting again, my dick immediately responding. After a few more I can feel the sensation building up, my breathing becoming strained.

"Bella, I'm gonna come…" I breathe out.

But then panic sets in. I'm not wearing a condom. I grab Bella's hips, pulling her off of me. I grab the tip of my dick, feeling the gooey warmth in my hand. I get up, walking over to the hose to quickly wash my hands.

"You have hay stuck to your ass," Bella laughs.

I swat my hands at my butt, feeling nothing.

"Very funny," I narrow my eyes at her.

I sprint back to her, throwing myself back in the hay. I brush the hair out of her face. Her brown eyes stare back at me.

"You're gonna pay for that," I kid.

"Bring it on cowboy."


	10. Chapter 10 Good Morning Beautiful

**BPOV**

Who would have thought that 5 days ago my life would completely change? I was 'fiercely independent' Bella Swan, someone who didn't need a man. Someone who was completely ok with her single life. I literally got roped into coming on this trip and I only came to spend some time with 'the girls'. But now this 'cowboy' has completely turned my life upside down and inside out. Being with him has made me go back on everything I believe in. Edward has a complicated life. Part of me feels like this thing between us only adds to the chaos surrounding him. But the other part of me wants to chuck my old life out the window and stay here in his chaotic life forever.

_Fuck. _

I stretch out my legs, yawning. I pull the extra pillow beside me, hugging it close to my body. As I inhale, his scent attacks my nostrils, making me sigh heavily. I flutter my eyes open, meeting the beautiful face on the pillow beside me. I take this time to examine every line of his face, every beautiful hair on his head. I even notice a small scar above his left eyebrow. He looks so peaceful...for once.

I laugh lightly.

"You better not be laughing at me," I hear him mutter.

"Wouldn't dream of it cowboy," I say smiling.

He lifts open his right eye, emerald green looking back at me.

"Mornin beautiful," he says.

"Morning."

I lay there for a few more minutes, until I feel a strong arm drag me. I giggle, curling myself into him.

"What do you want to do today?" I ask.

"You're looking at it."

I laugh. "We do have to get out of bed at some point."

"Says who?"

"Says me," I say, turning over so my face is on his chest.

"I never want to leave this spot." He places a soft kiss on top of my head. To be honest, I never want to leave this spot either. No bullshit, no chaos…just us.

I flip up, throwing my left leg over his waist, straddling him. He places his hands on my either side of my hips. I sit there, staring at him and he stares back at me. In the silence I hear a low grumble, my body knowing how to ruin a moment.

"Someone's hungry," Edward states.

I bite my lip. "Just a little."

I climb down from the bed, standing on the ground. After a minute, Edward rolls over acting like he's going back to sleep.

I poke him in the back, a low grunt leaves his chest. I poke him again, trying not to laugh but failing miserably. When he doesn't move I reach my hand underneath the comforter, my fingers hooking around his feet. I pull with all my might, but his body doesn't move an inch.

"Edddwaaarrrddd…." I moan. "Get up."

"Mmmm…"

I walk back over to where his head is, leaning over him. I dip the tip of my tongue into his ear, traveling it down the back of his neck and over his shoulder.

"You better stop that unless you plan on doing something else," I hear him say.

I giggle loudly. I pull away from him, slowly making my way towards the bathroom. Pulling off my shirt, I turn back around, throwing it in the direction of Edward. It lands on his face.

I see him pull it off.

"I'm up!" he exclaims, throwing the comforter off his body. He stands up, wearing nothing but a those grey sweatpants. They are sitting incredibly low, his cutlines peeking out the top of them. His hair is sticking up in a million different directions, but somehow it still looks swoon worthy. He walks over to me, throwing his arms around my shoulders. I look up at him, planting my lips on his.

"Let's go get us some grub," he says.

I walk into the bathroom, heading for the toilet. I shut the door behind me and sit down. I realize how quiet it is, so I flip on the fan so Edward can't hear me pee. I laugh at the ridiculousness of it.

When I finish, I see Edward over at the sink, brushing his teeth.

"Got some for me?" I ask.

Edward reaches down, pulling a new toothbrush out the drawers, handing it to me.

I bump him with my hip, silently telling him to scoot over. Squeezing some toothpaste on it, I run it under the faucet. Edward and I stand there, jointly brushing our teeth. It feels so…domesticated and I start to giggle and we take turns spitting in the sink. When we finish up I start to walk away, my toothbrush still in hand. Edward stops me, grabbing it from me and places it in the cup next to his. My heart flutters. How can two toothbrushes sitting side-by-side possibly have so much meaning? When I start walking towards the bedroom again I look over my shoulder, watching Edward wipe up around the counter and mirror. I shake my head, laughing lightly. Maybe all his OCD tendencies are his way of controlling his chaos.

I walk over to the small duffle bag I brought with me, pulling out some clothes and get dressed, pulling my hair up into a high ponytail.

…

We leave the house, making our way into town. I hear Edward's cell phone ring. He pulls it from the top of the dash, answering it.

"What's up man?"

I hear a male voice on the other line.

"Were going to get some grub. You guys wanna come with?"

I begin to wonder who he is talking to.

"Well get your asses out of bed and meet us there. Ok later." He hangs up, placing his phone back on the dash.

I wait for him to tell me who he was talking to.

"The foursome is meeting us for breakfast."

"Really?" I squeal, realizing I really haven't spent any time with Rose and Alice since I've been here.

We pull into a parking lot of a small diner. Edward walks around, opening my door for me. We make our way inside, Edward slipping passed the "Please Wait To Be Seated" sign. I am confused, but I walk closely behind him. He slides into a large booth in the back, his arm laid out on the top of the seat. I slide in next to him, his arm leaving the top of the booth, wrapping around me. He plants a chaste kiss on my lips, but I push into him, making our kiss more passionate.

"Why don't you two get a fucking room," a female voice says behind me.

Rosalie. I'd know that bitch's voice anywhere.

I unlock my lips from Edward's, watching Rose, Alice and Jackson slide into the other side of the booth. Emmett's large body stands next to me.

"Scoot over Bella Bee," he says, smiling.

"Really Emmett, you can't go sit over there?" Edward asks.

"You've had enough time with Bella, let the rest of us have a turn."

Edward shoots him a daggered look.

"Woah, man I didn't mean it like that."

We all sit around the table, no one talking for a few seconds.

"I'm fucking starving," Emmett finally says, looking around. "Can we get some fucking menus over here?" he shouts to the waitress behind the counter. Her back is to us, but I can see her auburn hair tightly fastened into a tight bun. She's slender and uncommonly tall for a woman.

"Hold your fucking horses Emmett," she screams back from across the room.

Edward's arm slides off my shoulder and I feel his body go rigid.

She walks over, throwing down menus onto the table. "There you go, you whiny bastard."

"Thank V," he says, grabbing a menu.

Her eyes leave Emmett and land on Edward.

"Edward."

A twinge of jealousy radiates through me.

"Victoria," he states.

We all sit there, my eyes only looking at Rose and Alice. Things become awkward very quickly. Why is it everywhere I go in this town there seems to be a woman there who looks like she's ready to lay claim to this man.

"Bella…" I hear Edward's voice purr. "This is my sister Victoria. Victoria…this is Bella."

She turns her eyes towards me, and my heart races. To be honest, I'm relived she isn't an ex, but I'm also a little nervous. Edward's family is batshit fucking crazy.

I hold my hand out to her, waiting for her to take it, but she doesn't. Instead she leans over Emmett, throwing her arms around me. I look over at Edward, my eyes open wide. Edward shakes his head, mouthing "I'm sorry"

"Hey Victoria, you mind getting your tits out of my face?" Emmett laughs.

"You didn't seem to mind all the other times," she laughs.

I look over at Rosalie, expecting her to flip her fucking lid, but she doesn't. It's like there's some kind of silent 'snarky-bitch' bond that stops her from immediately ripping Victoria's head off.

She turns back to me. "It's so nice to meet you Bella, happy to finally see the pretty face of the woman who is stealing all of Edward's time," she says.

"Thanks," I mutter, smiling. I'm not really clear on if that was a joke or not.

She looks at Edward. "Charlotte sure does miss her uncle."

"I'll come back for your order real soon," she says, turning around and walking back behind the counter.

"And now you have met my sister," Edward says, his voice flat.

"She seems… friendly Edward."

"Yeah, she grows on you I guess."

I nudge Edward in the ribs, he smiles begrudgingly. He grabs two greasy menus from the center of the table, handing one to me.

As I study it, I hear Alice say something.

"What?" I ask, not catching it the first time.

"I was just asking what you have been up to."

Images of flash through my mind; my insides involuntarily clench.

"Just hanging out," I say hoping I'm not blushing.

"Are you two gonna get married and have lots and lots of babies?" Alice squeals.

"Alice," I say, in a tone of scolding and embarrassment.

"Good god could you imagine Bella being pregnant? And I thought she was bitchy now," Rosalie pipes up, further adding to my horror.

"Fuck you Rose."

"I rest my case."

I don't know how the fuck our conversation turned to imagining me being pregnant, but I think this takes the cake on being the most uncomfortable fucking conversation ever. I pull my eyes down to my hands, picking at my fingernails. Edward pinches the fabric of my jeans, making me look up at him. He gives me a small smile, making my nerves disappear. He then rolls his eyes, making me laugh.

I pull the menu back up to my face, trying to decide on what I wanted to eat.

"Ya'll ready to order?" I hear Victoria say, as she returns to our table.

Each of us takes a turn. I order French toast and it arrives dripping with real butter and disgustingly rich, pure maple syrup. I'm learning to love down home cooking. "So girls, you coming to California next weekend?" Emmet asks, breaking into my sugar induced haze.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Our next ride, next weekend, it's in California."

"Oh umm I don't know," I answer.

"Hell yes we are," Rose shouts. "Oh my god, can you imagine California beaches?"

"Can't wait to see your ass in a bikini," Emmett says.

"I guess you missed that day," Edward laughs.

I laugh, remembering the canon ball contest and Edward's ass in those wet jeans.

"Aw man, I miss all the good shit."

We all laugh, continue to finish up eating our breakfast. As we start to leave Victoria approaches us.

"Edward, can I talk to you?"

"Yeah," he responds.

They walk away from me, so I walk towards Rose and Alice, who are now in the parking lot of the diner.

"Hey," I call out.

"What's going on?" Rose asks.

"Oh, Victoria had to talk to Edward," I shrug.

"So what's going on with you two?" Rose asks.

"I don't know. We like each other."

"You two seem a little hot and heavy for knowing each other for 4 days," she points out.

"Says the woman who ran off with Emmett the night you met. And it's 5 days for the record," I glare at her.

Rose doesn't respond.

"I like being around Edward, something about him drew me to him from the first time I saw him. I don't think I ever had a choice after that."

"Well just be careful Bella, I don't want to see you get hurt. You're getting awfully serious about this guy awfully fast. You don't really know a lot about him." She pauses and seems to hesitate before adding, "He has a… _certain_ reputation you know?"

"Why is everyone saying that? Do you ever think that maybe Edward is a good guy? I appreciate your concern, but really, I can take care of myself."

"We just really care about you Bella, your heart breaks, ours breaks," Alice adds.

"I know Alice, but I'm not running off with him and getting married. Were just having fun."

"Edward looks like he is having more than just fun," Rose states.

I look at her, silently asking for her to explain.

"Bella, the way he looks at you. He looks at you like you're something to eat."

I laugh, loud.

"What's so funny?" I hear Edward say from behind me.

"Oh nothing," Rose says, smiling.

We say goodbye to each other and Edward and I walk back to the truck.

When we reach it, instead of Edward opening the door, he pushes my body up against it, his mouth attacking mine. I wrap my arms around his waist, his kiss making me weak in the knees. He pulls his lips from mine

"For what it's worth, you would look beautiful pregnant."

I laugh nervously, "Thanks."

He pulls the door open for me and I slide in. He gets in and starts the truck, turning towards me.

"So what's the plan for today?" I ask.

"Well as much as I would love to spend the rest of day in bed with you, I have to do some things down in the barn."

"Okay," I say, not really knowing what that entails.

When we reach his house, he continues past it, pulling down to where the barn is.

"This is probably going to be boring, if you want to go up to the house I'll understand."

"No I'll stay," I say, following behind him.

He walks into the barn, going into the small room in the back. He picks up a few buckets, scooping some sort of grain into them.

"Here," he says, handing me a bucket.

I flip my eyebrow up at him, giving him a "really" look.

He laughs. "Just take it Bella."

I reach out, taking the bucket from his hand. We make our way down a long hallway, horse stalls on each side. Sliding open the first door on the right, we step inside. My eyes widen when I see the creature housed inside. The horse in this stall is definitely the biggest one I have ever seen, although admittedly I haven't been around many. I stop in the doorway, instinctively nervous.

Edward reaches out, taking my hand. He pulls slightly, but my feet stay planted.

I hear a laugh escape his throat. "Bella, he's not going to do anything. He's harmless." He leans down, his mouth close to mine. "I promise I would never put you in any danger," he whispers.

A smile creeps across my face and I take a tentative step forward, my hand still firmly in Edward's. As I walk closer to this…beast…my heart starts to beat rapidly. Edward lifts my hand up in his, placing it on the horse's face.

"Pet him, he's harmless, I swear."

Edward lets go of my hand and I run mine up and down its forehead, feeling the soft yet prickly fur. I look up at the horse, noticing its beautiful eyelashes. I laugh because they remind me of Edward's. As I continue to pet him, his head starts bobbing and he sticks his nose into the bucket I'm holding, eating the food in giant gulps.

It scares the shit out of me and I scream, dropping the bucket in the process. Edward is laughing uncontrollably now.

"Fuck you," I try to say seriously, but can't quite squelch the smile on my face.

"Such a city girl," he says, shaking his head.

I glower at him, and he starts to walk toward me. He picks the bucket up off the floor, pouring the rest of it into a metal feeder trough. He leaves the stall and I stand there not really knowing what to do. A few seconds later he comes back with a bale of hay. He pulls out a knife from his pocket, flicking it open. He cuts the strings off of the bale, spreading it evenly around the floor. He takes my hand, leading me out of the stall. He repeats this process for all fours stalls, but I decide to stay out of his way. I walk around the barn, looking at various things. I walk over to an ATV, sitting down on it sideways. As I grow bored I swing my leg over the side, straddling it. I put my hands on the handle bars, and acting like a 5 year old, pretend like I'm driving it. Just as I pull my arms from the bars, I see a figure shift out of the corner of my eye. My eyes meet Edward's, who is smiling like a fool. I can feel the burn in my cheeks.

He drops the hay bale he has perched on his shoulder and walks over to me, "You are too adorable."

"Adorable? So what am I your new puppy dog?" I ask.

He leans down, "No, you are fucking hot."

"That's more like it," I say, giving him a quick kiss.

"Just a few more minutes and I'll be done," he says.

"Ok."

He walks back over, picking back up the bundle of hay off the ground. He disappears for about 10 minutes and I'm bored again, so I go in search of him. When I find him, he's stacking more bales into a neat pile in the corner. There are claw like things in his hand, which he thrusts into each bale. I walk over to watch him work. I can see his biceps flexing, and I swear I start to drool. Once he stacks the last one ontop, he turns to me.

"I'm all yours," he says.

I laugh, thinking how much that sentence could have a double meaning.

"What do you want to do now?" I ask.

He doesn't answer, but instead heads into the supply room. When he comes back, he has a worn brown saddle slung over his shoulder. I look at him warily, a large smile enveloping his face. I hear the door of a stall slide open. When I reach Edward, he is fastening the saddle onto a smaller brown horse. He grabs onto the rope around its neck, leading it out of its stall. He walks out of the barn, tying the horse up to a small post. I follow after him, a little nervous that we may be riding this…thing. When I make it outside, Edward turns to me.

"Ready?"

"Ready for what?" I ask hesitantly.

"Come on," he says, holding his hand out.

I walk over, placing my hand in his.

_I trust him. I trust him._

He pulls me into him, my nose picking up his cologne. I swear this man could roll around in horse shit all day long and I would swoon.

He places his lips on mine, my knees feeling sort of weak. I'd like to think it's because of his kiss, but my nerves spike.

"I'm not going to force you Bella, but I swear, I would never let anything happen to you, you're too special to me," he whispers.

I nod my head. "Ok."

His hands surround my waist and before I know it, I am in the air. He pulls me up over the horse, slowly sliding me into the saddle. The horse shifts suddenly under my legs. I'm instantly terrified.

"Edward…." I say nervously.

"Its fine, she's just getting use to you," he smiles.

"Ok…" I breathe out.

_Just breathe Bella. _

He puts his hand on the knob of the saddle, pulling himself onto the horse. He slides in behind me, scooting me forward.

"Here," he says, handing me the rope.

"Are you serious? I don't know what the fuck I'm doing," I state.

"It's not rocket science Bella, I'll teach you," he says.

I wrap my hands around the reins. I sit there, confused.

"Where's the gas pedal? And please tell me this thing has an emergency brake?" I ask bewildered.

I can hear Edward laughing. I bend around, looking back in his direction.

"Ok, take either foot and kick the side of the horse."

"What?" I scream, "You want me to kick this living creature?"

"It's fine Bella, they're a lot tougher than you think."

I hesitate for a second, until I feel a finger poke my back. I roll my eyes. I pull my foot away from the side of the horse, letting it fall back against its belly softly. The horse remains standing.

"Harder," Edward says.

I repeat the process, trying to do it harder, but the horse doesn't move.

"I think this fucker is broken. Can we call in a mechanic?" I joke, looking down at my feet.

"Harder," I hear Edward stay more sternly.

I pull my foot off the horse again, kicking it harder. This time the horse moves, but I swear its running instead of walking. I scream, letting go of the reins, and throwing my hands over my eyes. I can hear Edward laughing, which just pisses me off more. I feel one of Edward's hands wrap around me and the other grabs the reins. He pulls back making the horse slow down instantly. Guess this thing_ does_ have an emergency brake.

"Jesus Christ," I breathe out.

Edward is still laughing and I want nothing more than to turn around and smack him. He taps the horse this time, and the horse starts to walk. He hands me the reins again.

"Pull right to go right, left to go left, and pull back to stop," he says.

I wrap my hands around them again, my grip white-knuckle tight.

"Where we going?" I ask.

"Uhhh, go right," he says pointing.

I push the reins to the right and the horse veers right. A smile lights up my face.

_I'm the shit. _

We start to climb up this mountain, getting higher and higher. I start to relax a little, actually enjoying myself. I can feel the raw power of the horse between my legs, and I can feel Edward pressed up against me. It's actually oddly a little arousing. When we reach the top of the mountain, Edward tells me to pull back on the reins. He climbs off the horse and puts his hands on my hips, pulling me off of the horse.

I can feel the strain in my inner thighs.

"Jesus Christ, no wonder you all walk like you do."

"What?" Edward laughs.

"All you cowboys, you walk like you have a barrel between your legs."

Edward rolls his eyes. I walk over to the edge of the mountain, the view breathtaking. There are rolling hills as far as the eye can see. Edward comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around me.

"This is beautiful Edward," I breathe.

"Not as beautiful as you," he says, kissing my cheek.

I turn around, pulling his cowboy hat off his head, placing it on mine. Edward eyes stare into mine and a low groan leaves his throat.

"You don't know what you do to me Bella," he says.

"Oh, I'm sure I have an idea," I say shyly, looking up from under my lashes.

His fingers grip the brim of the hat, flinging it to the ground. He lifts my chin up, placing a soft kiss on my lips. I push my body into him more, kissing him more fiercely. I run my hands through his hair, tugging it on. He moans into my mouth. That's when I feel something hard press against my leg.

_Must be go time._

"Edward," I say, looking down.

He laughs, digging his hand into my pocket. I lean back, giving him a confused look. A carrot appears out of his pocket and I can't help but laugh, hard.

"I knew it couldn't be real," I kid.

He narrows his eyes at me, seeming to not be amused as I am.

"It's for the horse," he states.

He hands the carrot to me. I take it out of its hand and place the tip in my mouth, teasing him with my eyes. I then bite the tip off violently.

Edward just shakes his head. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Don't you mean TO me?" I joke, leaning into him.

_God Bella could you sound more like a whore?_

"Come on," he says, sitting down on the ground.

I walk over to him, sliding myself down in front of him. I lean against his chest, immediately feeling relaxed. We sit there for what seems like forever, not saying anything to each other. I begin to feel hot, the heat making me feel queasy.

"Hey Edward, do you think we could head back?"

"Sure."

He starts to get up, pulling me up off the ground. We walk back over to the horse. He pulls himself up onto it, making it look like it requires no strength at all, and holds his hand out for me.

"You're gonna ride in the back this time," he says smiling.

I grab his hand and he lifts me up without effort. I slide in behind him, wrapping my arms around his back. As we descend, I start to feel a little better, the wind cools me down. I lean my head upwards, staring at the sky. I let go of Edwards back, and hold my arms out to my side.

_I could live with this. _

I am ripped out of my moment of tranquility when Edward kicks the horse, suddenly making it run…FAST. I shoot my hands back around Edward, holding on tight. We are moving at an incredible pace, the trees and scenery rushing past us at an incredible rate. I feel Edward's hand rub against mine. After the fear subsides, I start to smile, slowly realizing how much fun this is. I start to giggle, feeling the wind sweep through my hair. We reach the barn a lot faster than when we left, and I climb down from the horse. Edward pulls himself off as well, walking the horse back into its stall. He pulls the saddle off of it, and grabs the hose. He fills up the horse's water container, then rolls the hose back up.

"Ready to go relax?" he asks.

"Yes," I breathe out.

We walk back up to the truck, making our way to the house. When we get inside, I plop down on the couch. It isn't until now that I realize how incredibly exhausted I am because I had just planned to 'rest' my eyes for a minute, but when I wake up, I look out the window and its dark outside. I rub my eyes, looking around. I expect to see the living room, but instead I make out Edward's dresser. I feel the fabric on top of me, and it's soft and plush. I can't help but smile.

Pulling myself from the bed, I feel my way to the door. I slowly drag myself down the stairs, rounding the corner. I make it to the living room, seeing Edward's brown hair sticking up over the top of the couch.

"Hey," I mutter as I get closer.

Edward turns towards me, and that's when I notice we are not alone. Sitting next to Edward is a little girl with curly hair. She turns to face me as well, her eyes the same color as Edward's.

Edward gives me a nervous smile, "Victoria needed someone to babysit tonight. Sorry."

I smile back, "You don't need to apologize."

Edward turns to the little girl, "Charlotte, this is Bella. Bella, this is my niece, Charlotte."

Charlotte stands up on the couch, "Hi!" she giggles, bounces a few times and then plainly announces, 'Wow. You _are _pretty! Uncle Edward wasn't kidding!"

I can't help but laugh.

"It's very nice to meet you Charlotte," I respond.

"Did I say you could put your nasty ass feet on my couch?" Edward says to Charlotte. He then grabs her ankles, making her fall and bounces on the cushion. She shrieks loudly in glee.

"Do it again! Do it again!" she says, standing back up. Edward repeats the process 3 more times.

"Ok, that's enough," he says, standing up.

He walks around the couch, giving me a kiss on the lips.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep," I say.

"Don't apologize; I'm glad that you feel relaxed here."

"I do, very much so."

He smiles. "You hungry?"

"Famished."

He takes my hand, leading me into the kitchen.

When we reach the kitchen, there are numerous little bowls already lined up on the center island.

"What are we doing?" I ask.

"Were making pizza!" Charlotte screams, hopping into the kitchen.

"Pizza?"I look up at Edward.

"It's Charlotte's favorite food," he responds, rolling his eyes.

"Mommy doesn't let me have it though, she says it's not healthy," she says silently.

I shake my head at Edward. "Bad influence are we?"

"We all gotta live a little," he shrugs.

Edward walks over by the kitchen table, pulling out a step stool from the corner. He sets it up against the counter and Charlotte climbs up it. He then walks over to the fridge, pulling out some balls of fresh made dough. He portions it out, giving a small blob to Charlotte. He hands one to me and I look at him confused.

"I have no clue how to do this," I say, holding my hands up. "We city girls dial up Dominoes when we want pizza."

"Come on Bella," he says, waving it in front of me.

I take it from his hand, plopping it down on the counter.

"Just watch Charlotte, she's a pro," he says as he pulls a beer from the fridge.

"Babysitting under the influence?"I shake my head.

"Sometimes it improves my patience. Want one?" he says, throwing one at me before I even have a chance to answer. He reaches over grabbing the neck of the bottle, "better use a bottle opener this time," he laughs, prying it off.

I look back over at Charlotte, who is in the process of dumping about ten pounds of flour on the countertop and floor. A laugh escapes me.

I can't help but stare at Charlotte, her facial features so clearly resemble Jake's. My heart drops. How can he deny this beautiful, intelligent little girl?

I turn my attention back to the dough mound in front of me. I poke it with my finger, feeling its stickiness. I feel Edward step in behind me, his hands wrapping around mine. He puts our hands in the dough, spreading it out. My heart rate picks up and my girlie bits get tingly, which is just wrong because of our audience. I giggle slightly.

"Looking good Charlotte," Edward says behind me. "What are you going to put on it?"

"Cheese," she squeals.

"That's it?"

"And maybe pepperoni."

"OK, but you know the rule. There must be at least one vegetable on there."

Watching Edward interact with Charlotte amazes me. He doesn't talk to her like a child. As we continue to make our pizzas I hear my phone ring from my purse in the other room.

"Shit…" I say, then clapping my hand over my mouth.

"Don't worry. Have you met Victoria? I believe Charlotte has heard it all. I'll grab it"

He leaves the room and I walk over to the sink, washing the dough off my hands. Seconds later, he comes back with my phone in his hand.

"It's Rosalie," he says.

I take the phone from him, hitting accept.

"Hey Rose," I say.

"Bella…" she says hesitantly.

"Rose, what's wrong?" I say, shooting my eyes up to Edward's.

"I just got a call from Peter."

My heart sinks.

_What now? _

"He says the horse is ready, we can go home now."


	11. Chapter 11  Somebody Like You

BPOV

I can instantly feel all the blood drain from my face, my heart falling into my stomach.

My eyes stay locked on Edward, pools of tears threatening to fall. From day one I knew that our time here was limited, but never in a million years would I never thought that _he_ would come along.

"But….Peter told you it would take 3 weeks…" was all I could get out.

"Well he's arranged for a vet who lives near us to take care of the last round of shots so we can take her home early. Guess he needs to space for some new horse he got in. He's offered me a huge discount on the price if I take her immediately. Look, I have a lot of plans to make. We'll talk about all this later Bella. Just be ready to go by tomorrow," Rose commands and hangs up.

I click the phone off, setting it down on the countertop and I can't seem to peel my eyes off of it. Edward comes over, placing his finger under my chin, making me look at him.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"Your dad called Rose."

I can instantly see his upper body grow rigid.

"He says the horse is ready early, we're going home tomorrow," I respond, a large lump forming in my throat.

Edward stands there for a second, just staring at me. He pulls me into a hug, holding me tight.

"I'm done with my pizza!" we hear Charlotte shout, pulling us from our intense moment. Edward lets go of me and I already miss his warmth around me. He walks over to her looking down at her pizza.

"That looks like an absolute mess," he says smirking.

"It's perfect," she says quietly.

"I think it's perfect too," I say, trying to engage in the conversation.

"Are you going to finish yours Izzeybella?"

I can't help but smile.

"I don't think so," I say, picking up one of the bowl. "Cause I think you used all the cheese."

"Oh, yeah..." she says giggling.

Edward takes her pizza, putting it on a cookie sheet and places it in the oven. Charlotte jumps off the stool, running back into the living room and jumps on the couch. Edward looks back over at me, his eyes full of sorrow.

I hear "Izzeybella" coming from the other room.

Edward laughs, "Her name is Isabella!"

"I know! But I like Izzeybella better! Come sit with me Izzeybella"

"You know you don't have to do anything you don't want to," Edwards says.

I'm not really sure which situation he is referring to.

"I know," I say.

I walk over to Charlotte, who is sitting in the middle of the massive couch, with a blanket wrapped around her legs. She pats the spot next to her.

"Sit," she says.

"Please…" Edward yells from the kitchen.

"Sit please," she repeats, rolling her eyes like a 16 year old.

I don't spend a lot of time around children, but even I can tell that Charlotte is very mature for her age.

"What are we watching?" I ask as I sit down next to her.

"Spongebob!" she says with excitement.

I look up at the screen, watching this horrendous show play out in front of me, the theme song makes me want to pull my fucking hair out, but it's serving as a good distraction. I watch for a few minutes, trying to not divert my eyes to Edwards.

"I love Gary..." she squeals.

"Which one is Gary?" I ask, feigning interest.

"He's the snail," she says.

"And what sound does Gary make?" Edward says as he makes his way over to us.

"Meow!" she says with enthusiasm.

"Why the hell does a snail say meow?" I ask to no one in particular.

"Because Gary is apparently the equivalent of a cat," Edward says totally serious.

"You spend way too much time watching kid shows Edward."

He just laughs lightly. "Tell me about it."

Edward steps over our legs, sitting on the opposite side of Charlotte. We sit there silently, all Edward and I do is stare at each other instead of the TV screen. His arm is stretched out across the back of the couch, his hands finding my hair. He slowly starts to twirl the strands, his touch light. The time ticks away painfully slow.

I start to pay attention to the show, and begin to wonder why the fuck a sponge and a starfish would be friends and that crab is a fucking dick. Just when I've about had enough of this show, I hear the timer ding from the oven.

"I'll get it!" I announce flying up off the couch.

"Right," Edward says, starting to get up. We walk into the kitchen together, Edward grabbing some oven mitts from the drawer.

"Sexy," I giggle.

He flicks one eyebrow up, "I only use these when I'm handling hot buns."

I look at him confused. "But we made pizza."

He starts walking over to me, wrapping his mitted hands under my ass. He lifts me onto the counter, smashing his lips to mine. We hide behind the partition, hoping Charlotte doesn't come barreling in at any moment. I lock my legs around him, pulling his body flush against the countertop. I run my hands along his back, feeling the heat off of him. I slip my tongue into his mouth, his circling mine. Passion radiates throughout my body, making me wish that damn kid wasn't around. Edward flings the oven mitts off and they fall to the ground. His hands are in my hair, on my neck, on my chest, touching me in every way. A low groan escapes me, my girly bits wet and waiting. Edward pulls back, his eyes looking into mine. I run my hand along his rough stubble, and he closes his eyes, pushing his face into my palm.

_What the fuck am I going to do?_

I place my lips softly on his again, this kiss more delicate than passionate. I inhale, smelling his scent, but this time the smell of smoke is mixed in.

"Edward…." I say.

"Hmmm?" he mutters.

"I think the pizza is burning."

"Fuck!" he groans, pulling away from me.

He reaches down, grabbing one of the mitts off the ground. After a few attempts to get his hand in the thing, he reaches into the oven, pulling out the pizza. He holds it out to me for inspection.

"Looks perfect," he announces with relief.

"Look underneath," I say.

He lifts the cookie sheet over his head. "Looks fine."

"Underneath the pizza jack ass."

He lifts up the corner of the pizza, the underneath completely charred.

"Motherfucker."

"Look who burnt the dinner now," I kid.

Charlotte comes running in, "is my pizza done?"

"Oh yeah it's done," I say giggling.

Edward starts to look infuriated, but calms down instantly.

"Hey kiddo, were gonna have to go out for dinner," he says to her.

"But why?"

"Cause Bella burned your pizza," he says looking over at me, a huge grin on his face.

My mouth hangs open. Great, this kid is probably gonna flip her fucking lid.

"It's ok Izzeybella," she says. "We can have something else."

She then turns to Edward. "Why does Izzeybella get to sit on the counter, but I'm not allowed?"

"Uhhh," he says, not having a clear answer. He then walks over, picking her up by the armpits and setting her on the counter next to me. A small squeal escapes her.

"Ok," Edward says, rubbing his hands together. "Where do you two want to go to eat?"

"You really don't have anything to eat here?" I ask.

He walks over to the pantry, his strong arm leaning on the door. My eyes trail down his back, over his ass in those glorious tight jeans. I think I drool a little. He pulls his hands back out, holding out two boxes of mac n cheese.

I smile, shaking my head up and down.

"Really? We're gonna eat _this_ for dinner?"

"It's in your pantry Edward."

"It's probably been in there for like 5 years, probably some crap that Victoria brought over one time."

I jump down off the counter, grabbing the boxes from Edward's hands.

"What do you think you are doing?" he asks.

"Well since you can't be trusted not to burn things, I'll make them," I laugh. "I can make mac n cheese Edward, I live off of this back at home."

"Why on earth would you ever want to eat this shit?"

"I can tell you've never been a college student."

"Nope, I was lucky enough to find a profession where you make an assload of money and requires absolutely no education."

"Well don't you sound like a pompous ass."

"I try," he says, grinning.

I reach down, remembering where the pots and pans are kept. I pull out a large pot, walking over to the sink.

"I wanna help!" Charlotte exclaims, holding her hands out to be let down.

Edward walks over, scooping her up off the counter. I fill up the pot with water, setting it on the burner. I click it on and we all stand there silently, watching the pot, waiting and waiting.

"You know a watched pot never boils," Edward says. I look up at him, confused by his words.

"My mother always used to say that," he explains with a small grin.

When I start to finally see small bubbles start to form in the pot I rip open the two boxes. Charlotte holds her hand out, trying to take one from me.

"I better do this part, it can be hot," I explain "but you can stir, I promise."

"Ok," she says a little disappointed.

I pour the contents of the boxes into the water, grabbing a wooden spoon from its holder. I slide Charlotte's stool over so that it is in front of the pot, then hand the spoon to Charlotte.

"All yours."

"Thank you," she says as she takes it from my hand

She dips the tip of the spoon into the pot, swirling the water in circles, not really stirring it but making a whirlpool instead. After the seven minutes have passed I pull the pot from the stove, Edward handing me a colander. I drain the noodles, placing them back in the pot. I hand Charlotte the cheese packets.

"Can you open these?" I ask her.

Just as she takes them from my hand, I see Edward launch across the kitchen but it was too late. Charlotte grabs the top of the pouches, ripping them open fast. A dust of orange powder comes down on her and the floor.

"Christ," Edward exclaims.

I start to laugh, until I see Edward's face, his brow furrowed and not laughing. I stop immediately.

Charlotte is laughing still, not noticing our intense stare down.

I take the packets from her hand, and there is an equivalent to one pouch pack left. I dump it into the bowl, poring some milk and butter in with it. I slap it into the some bowls that were pulled out, handing one to Charlotte. She takes it, and hops down from the stool. She walks over to the kitchen table but Edward stops her.

"You can go eat that in the living room," he tells her.

_I don't think that's a good idea. _

Edward and I are silent and I don't really know what to say. When he gets in these moods I become nervous, my stomach doing flip flops.

Edward makes his way over to me and my heart begins to race wildly.

"I'm sorry for over reacting," he says quietly.

"It's ok. I know that you get upset when things get messy," I explain.

He stares at me. "I wasn't upset about the mess," he clarifies.

I begin to catch on.

I hear Edward's house phone ring, not knowing he actually had one. For some reason I look over at the TV, seeing 'Victoria Masen calling' on the screen. Edward walks over to it, picking it up.

"Hey," he says.

"Yeah, she's eating dinner."

"Ok. Yeah she'll be ready to go in 15 minutes."

He hangs up, setting the phone back in its holder. He walks out to the living room.

"Hey ladybug, your mom's gonna be here in 15 so eat up."

"I'm eating as fast as I can Uncle Edward!" she squeals, shoveling food into her mouth. Apparently the lack of cheesiness doesn't bother her.

I walk out to the kitchen, sitting down on the arm of the couch.

"You want some mac n cheese?" I ask Edward.

"No thanks," he responds. "And please don't eat any of that garbage, you and I can go grab something to eat when Victoria gets here."

"Ok," I say, slightly excited and nervous.

We all continue to watch the TV until I hear the garage door pull open. A few seconds later I hear the sound of shoes down the hallway. I stand up instinctively, waiting to see her face.

"Mommy!" Charlotte exclaims, jumping up and running towards her.

"My little sunflower," Victoria responds, scooping her up. "Bella, it's so nice to see you again."

"You too," I say.

She turns to Edward. "Thanks for watching her as always. Hope she wasn't too much of a pill."

"She's never any trouble Victoria, " he said aloud, but his eyes glare into the kitchen which now smells like burned crust and has a floor covered in white flour and counters covered in that nuclear orange shit that's supposed to coat the mac-n-cheese

I throw Edward a "calm the fuck down" look.

"Well I guess we better get going home," she says watching as Charlotte silently hugs Edward around one of his legs. His scowl immediately softens and he strokes her hair and plants a kiss on the top of her head. Charlotte seems to break through his OCD anger.

"Have a good night Bella," Victoria says.

"Thanks, you too," I answer.

"Oh and have fun with him," she says nodding in Edwards direction. "He can be a handful."

"I think I'm strong enough to handle it," I smile.

Victoria turns on her heels, walking back out the garage.

I turn back toward Edward, who is now just staring at me.

"Hungry?" he asks.

"Starved," I respond.

"Well grab your purse," he says, walking towards the door. I grab it off the kitchen table and walk towards the garage. When I reach it, Edward is already in the truck, letting the engine idle. I pull the door open, sliding myself in. The scowl is back on his face. Can this still be about powered cheese on the counter? What thoughts went through this man's head in the 2 minutes it took me to get into the truck? Because now he looks good and pissed. The ride into town is silent, my nerves taking a hold of me. How can he go from being so pleasant to a complete ass? He scares me when he goes into this 'mad and silent' routine.

Edward reaches across the cabin and I flinch slightly. His eyes shoot over at me, a look of disbelief. His hands run along the handle on the glove compartment, fishing out a pack of Camel cigarettes.

He pulls one out, placing it lightly in between his lips. Flicking the lighter on he sticks the end of it in the flame. He inhales deeply and releases the smoke out through his nose. He holds his arm out towards me, the open pack in my face.

"Want one?" he asks.

"Uhhh no thanks," I respond. "Didn't know you smoked."

"There's a lot you don't know about me," he says, then pauses. "I only do occasionally, usually when life is pretty fucked up," he laughs coldly. "I'm surprised I haven't been become addicted yet considering my life is a fucking mess."

I swallow the lump forming in my throat, my inner bitch trying to claw out.

The rest of the ride into town continues in moody silence. I become antsy…or maybe bitchy…I can't tell.

"So where the fuck are we eating?" I blurt out, breaking the silence.

We drive down the main road, everything pitch black and shut up for the night. I look down at the clock, its 11:52.

"Fuck," Edward mutters, the cigarette still hanging from his lips. "Everything is god damn closed."

I look out my window, seeing a small restaurant with the OPEN sign blinking in the front window.

"Over there," I point to my right.

Edward pulls into the parking lot, shutting the truck off. He climbs from it, making his way over to me. I push the door open before he can get to me, the look on his face perplexed. We start walking over to the front door, Edward jogging in front of me, holding it open. I walk right past him, not saying thanks. Walking over to an open table, I sit down, waiting for Edward to join me. He walks slowly over to me, his hands shoved into his pockets. He slides into the seat across from me, running his hand through his hair.

"Bella…" he starts to say, but is interrupted.

The waitress comes up to us, handing us two menus. She is an older woman with short curly hair and a ton of lipstick on her front teeth. I can smell her perfume, it so pungent it burns my nostrils. However, I am silently thanking God she isn't some overly attractive young girl, because I don't really feel like dealing with _that_ right now. Taking the menu from her hands, I grab one and throw the other onto the table. Edward grabs is softly, as though it is a trap. I pull mine open, pulling it close to my face, essentially making a wall. Instead of looking at the menu, which is now too close to my face to read, I sit there, wondering.

A few minutes pass, the silence continues. The waitress comes back.

"Can I get you two lovelies something to drink?"

"I'll take a Coke," I blurt out.

"Same for me too please ma'am," he responds.

_Oh you save all your charm for her. Got it._

"Are you ready to order?" she asks.

_Shit. _

I realize that I have yet to actually look at the menu. Pulling my face from my menu, "I think I still need some more time."

"Ok, I'll be back soon with your drinks," she says, waddling away. I put my face back into my menu, looking over the options.

I finally hear Edward mumble something. I sigh loudly. This is it. If he doesn't snap outta this mood right the fuck now I am going to explode.

I set my menu down onto the table.

"What?" I ask, my heart beating erratically.

"Stay," he says, his emerald eyes staring into mine.

My heart sinks. He grabs one of my hands, they are warm and clammy.

"Stay with me Bella," he begins. "I can't lose the greatest thing that has happened to me."

Shock. I am shocked by his words. They are the complete opposite of what I was expecting. Two seconds ago he was brooding and looked ready to kick the piss outta the world. Now he's just said something so romantic my toes involuntarily curled.

What do I say? I definitely have feelings for him, but I have a whole life back in Seattle.

"Edward I can't," I begin to say, not knowing how to word the rest.

He pulls his hand from mine, the look of disappointment on his face. I look down at my hands, getting more nervous about how this situation will escalate.

Edward starts to talk, "You know my father called Rosalie because of you right?"

I snap my head up, "What?"

"He told Rosalie that the horse is ready early because he's trying to get you away from me."

Oh. Is _that_ what had him all stirred up?

"You can't honestly believe that."

Edward laughs loudly, scaring me.

"I don't have to believe it Bella, it's the truth. You weren't there in the kitchen that morning."

"What did he say?"

"It's not important now."

"But why would he do that?" I ask.

"He thinks I'm not good enough for you."

"But that's ridiculous; sometimes I think it's the other way around."

He grabs my hand again tightly. "Now that's something that isn't true."

I look up at him finally.

"Edward, as much as I would love to abandon everything in Seattle, I can't. My job and my school are there. I still have another semester left until I get my degree, not to mention my apartment."

"I understand," he says dissatisfied.

The waitress comes back, taking our orders. When she leaves again, we continue our discussion.

"I love spending time with you Edward, I want nothing more than to spend every moment with you, but I have to do this for me. We can still see each other, I don't have school or work on the weekends, and we can call each other all the time. After I graduate, if you still want me, I'm all yours."

"Bella, I will always want you," he responds. "I just want you here with me _now._"

We stare at each other in silence for a few minutes both trying to figure out what to say the sway the other toward our own way of thinking.

Our deep thoughts are interrupted because our food comes quick, probably something to do with us being the only people in the place. We eat, our hands still intertwined. As I eat my sandwich, my body grateful for the nutrients.

Edward finds the waitress, calling her over.

"Can I get a side of ranch dressing please?"

When she brings it, he starts to dunk his fries in it, my eyes widen and Edward notices it.

"What?" he says smirking.

"French fries and ranch dressing are like my favorite fucking thing ever!" I squeal.

Edward scoots the bowl closer to me, allowing me to get some. I shimmy in my seat, dipping one of my fries into it. I put it in my mouth and a small moan escapes me. Edward smiles, the mood lightening immensely. As we eat we seem to make a tacit agreement to hold off on any more heavy conversation. We start to talk about random things: how he got into writing, his life before the PBR…

When we both finish, Edward pays the check, and we leave. The ride home is still kind of quiet, but I can't help but think this might be our last night together for a long time. When we reach the house, Edward and I walk hand in hand up the stairs and into his bedroom. When we reach it my insides start to clench, knowing what is going to probably happen next. Edward sits down on the bed, pulling his keys and wallet from his pockets, setting them down on the nightstand. Edward then walks over to me, his hands finding my shoulders. He rubs them lightly but I can still feel his power behind them. I close my eyes, trying to fight back the tears that are trying to fall.

"I'll be right back," I say, running off to the bathroom.

I pull the door closed, sitting on top of the closed toilet.

_You can't cry Bella. It will only make it worse. _

When I gain my composure I exit the bathroom, slipping into his closet. I run my hands along all his clothing, his scent extremely strong in here. I inhale deeply, trying to imprint it into my nasal passages. I start to pull off my clothes. I pull down one of his button down shirts, placing it over my body. I flick the light off, making my way back to the bedroom. When I reach it there is nothing but the soft glow of the moonlight coming through the windows. I spot Edward easily, lying horizontally across the whole bed. I walk over to him as he lifts his head to look at me.

"Fuck Bella…" he moans when he sees what I have on.

I start to climb up his torso, my legs straddling his hips. I run my hands across Edwards face, then run them though his hair. He grabs my hand, placing small kisses over my palm and up my arm. He then pulls on it, making my face meet his. His lips are heavy on mine, a feeling of urgency behind them. I push back, my passion overtaking me. I enter my tongue into his mouth, massaging his with mine. His hands start to travel down my spine, it sending chills throughout my body. I drag my lips from his, pulling at the hem of his shirt, lifting it up and over his head.

His long fingers reach up, wrapping around each button on my, well, his shirt. He pulls it off of me, letting it fall next to us. He starts to get up, holding onto me, flipping us over so that now my back is on bed. Edward stops what he is doing and just stares at me.

"What?" I ask, wondering what the hell he is doing.

"Stay with me until school starts back up," he says.

School doesn't start until August 1st. _But_ _what about my job?_

"But what about my job?" I say, "I have to be back by the end of June."

"Quit. I can pay for anything you need," he says.

I smile. "So are you my sugar daddy now?"

He laughs, placing a kiss on my lips. "I can be anything you want me to be. Come on Bella, please…"

I start to giggle. He's playing dirty asking me this while he has me on my back. "Fine, I'm sure they can last another month without me, my father never liked me having a job in the first place."

He becomes giddy, pressing his lips to mine. I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling his torso down onto mine. I can feel his shaft pressing into my leg, my girly bits screaming for attention. He pulls his lips off mine, tracing them down my stomach, dipping into my belly button. I let out a squeal, getting his attention.

"It tickles," I say, feeling the burn in my cheeks.

His tongue is now all the way down tracing small circles on my inner thighs. I can feel my body start to quiver under his touch, my toes curling around the bed sheets. My body craves him, not wanting to wait another moment.

"Edward…I need you inside me," I moan out.

A huge grin spreads across his face, and he pulls off of me. I grumble watching him doing the exact opposite of what I want. He walks over to the nightstand, pulling a condom out.

_Oh yeah. Reminder: birth control._

I sit up, sliding over the edge of the bed, grabbing the condom out of his hand. I look down, it's a Magnum. I smile. Then grabbing his hips, I line him up so that his cock is at my eye level. I stare at it for a few moments, admiring its perfectness. I look up at Edward, a smirky grin on his face.

"Don't get a big head, it's not that big," I say, joking.

"Yeah, that's what they all say."

I then take it in my hand, running my tongue along its length on the underside. He lets out a hiss. I look up at him underneath my eyelashes, stopping immediately.

"Fucking tease," he says.

I put the condom package in my teeth, ripping it open. I pull the condom out, placing it on the tip. I wrap my fingers around it, sliding the condom until it's maxed out. I then scoot myself so that I am back up on the bed, my legs open in his direction, waiting. He slowly crawls onto the bed and my body can't take it anymore. He lines himself up at my entrance, slowly sliding himself into me. I cry out, him filling me to my max. My body slowly adapt to his girth, it feeling so incredibly good that I think I'm going to have an orgasm right there. He starts to pump fast, making both our breathing hitched. My body lifts up to meet his, moving along with his every pump. I look into his eyes, and we just stare at each other. I can feel the heat of his body, his smell filling the room. After a few more thrusts he pulls himself out of me, my vagina crying at the sudden absence.

"Get up," he says.

I look at him confused.

"Trust me baby," he whispers.

I get up off the bed, standing in front of Edward, waiting.

He places his lips close to my ear. "Turn around and get on all fours on the bed."

My insides clench tight.

I do as I'm told, climbing onto the bed. I feel Edward pull my ass into him, grabbing his cock and pushing inside of me. I cry out loud, the new angle feeling completely different. He starts to thrust slowly, pulling his member out almost all the way, and then slowly pushing it back inside me. The tip of his cock hits my g spot with every pass, making me whimper. He runs his hands across my ass, grabbing each cheek harshly, and then smacking them.

My body begins to shake and I become worried that I might not be able to hold myself up much longer.

"Harder," I cry out.

He grabs onto my hips, pumping faster than before.

"Fuck!" I scream out.

I hear our skin smacking together, the sound highly erotic. I feel Edwards hand come around my side, his fingers grazing my clit. I moan loudly, the intense burn in my legs becoming too great. He continues to pump as fast as possible, moans escaping his mouth.

My orgasm is right at the edge.

"Fuck Edward, I'm going to come…" I scream out and then the wave of pleasure crashes over me.

I grab the comforter in hands, muffling my scream into it. When I come down from it, I hear Edward start to moan, his pumping slowing down. His fingers pinch my ass and a low grunt leaves his throat. I can feel his cock pulse inside of me, his orgasm finally reaching him. He pulls out of me, leaning down kissing me on the ass. My limbs finally give out, crashing my body into the bed. I take in a few inhales of breath, my body trying to catch up. I turn over, facing Edward who is still standing beside the bed.

"Best position ever," I say, smiling.

"You've never done doggy before?" he asks laughing.

"No. Let's just say the men I have slept with weren't very adventurous. Missionary is all I know."

"Well, were gonna have to fix that," he says smirking.

"Looking forward to it cowboy," I say, winking.

He leans over the bed, placing a kiss on my forehead. "Be right back."

He turns and starts walking to the bathroom, his ass in my line of sight. I let out a whistle, remembering the day at the pool. I laugh lightly. Edward looks back at me, giving me a fuckhawt grin.

_Ready for round 2? _

I pull myself up on to the bed, setting up the pillows behind me. I reach over to find the TV clicker, switching it on. The huge LCD TV clicks on and I start to scan the channels, finding nothing in particular on. A few minutes later, I realize that I need to pee really bad. When I enter the room it's filled with steam.

_Edward must be taking a shower. _

As I walk past it, a strong arm grabs me, pulling me under the hot water. I giggle, wrapping my arms around Edward.

"Hello beautiful," he says.

"Hi…late night shower?" I ask.

"Sounded like a good idea, even better now that you are here," he smiles.

We both take turns under the water, just relaxing. Once we are done, we both step out, Edward grabbing a towel for me, wrapping me up in it. We both make our way to the bed, crashing onto it. Within minutes, sleep overtakes us both.

…

When I wake up I roll over, knowing that Edward would probably not be there, and I was right. I get up, walking over to the shutters, seeing the glow from the barn. Realizing that I am still naked, I go over to my bag, pulling out an oversized t shirt and sweatpants. I pull them on, and then make my way downstairs. When I round the corner, I flip the light on in the kitchen, laughing at the mess in front of me.

_I'm surprised Edward didn't come clean this up yet._

I walk over to the kitchen sink, pulling open the drawers underneath it. Sure enough there is a ton of cleaning products, each labeled on what they are used for. I pull all of them out, shaking my head. I pull the garbage can out from under the sink, dumping the contents of each bowl into it. I then pick up the cookie sheet, dumping the contents of it in the trash. For the next twenty minutes, I scrub and clean every inch, knowing if it's not perfect Edward will just redo it himself. I start to giggle to myself.

_Crazy OCD bastard._

When I finish, I put all the bottles back under the sink, glancing over the kitchen one last time. I walk into the living room, watching out the window. I can barely make out his figure in the barn, but he looks like he is working hard. I walk back over to the kitchen table, pulling my phone out of my purse. I have no missed calls, which is surprising considering the day. I walk over to the couch, plopping myself down. I sit there, waiting for Edward to finish and ponder how drastically my outlook on life has suddenly changed. I can't help but smile. For once in my life, I have someone who wants me, and that I wanted in return. I have never felt this way about anyone else. I crave him like an addiction. At that moment, I seriously consider staying forever. He has plenty of money, he could support us both. I shake that thought out of my head.

_My family would be so disappointed in me._

My dad will kill me if I dropped out of school especially since I'm so close to finishing.

But that seems like an eternity. I sigh loudly.

"That was one big sigh," a smooth voice rings out.

I scream out, clenching my chest.

"Holy fuck. I didn't even hear you come in."

"I can be sneaky when I want to be."

I smile, trying to not let him see me in my depressed state. He sits down next to me.

"You ok? You looked deep in thought," he says.

"Yeah, I was just thinking about us."

"And that makes you upset?" he asks, worried.

"No, I just can't believe how complicated life has gotten in the past week," I look up at him, hoping that doesn't piss him off.

"Tell me about it," he responds.

We sit there quietly for a while.

"You didn't change your mine did you? Are you leaving?"

I grin. "No I didn't change my mind. I am staying…but only till the end of July."

He leans into me, "Well that gives me plenty of time to work on how to change your mind."

He places his lips on mine, his tongue entering my mouth.

_Fuck it. I'll stay, I will be your sex slave forever. _

"Edward, that's not fair," I say, pulling my lips from his.

"I never told you I play fair," he says.

My phone begins to ring.

_Fuck me. Remind me to get rid of both our phones._

I pick it up, Alice's name displayed on the screen. I hit accept.

"Hey Alice," I say with nervousness in my voice.

"Hey Bella," she says, then pauses.

I sit there, waiting for her to continue but she doesn't.

"Alice? Are you there?"

"Yeah, sorry, I really didn't want to be the one to tell you this, but our parents just got here with their trailer to take the horse back. We heading over to Peter's in an hour."

My heart sank. I have to tell them in person, I can't do it over the phone.

"I'll be there in a little bit."

"Ok."

I turn to Edward, "I gotta head to Tanya's. I think I need to tell them face-to-face."

"Ok, I'll drive you."

"Thank you."

I walk back upstairs, pulling on some decent clothing. I pull out my Converse, my favorite comfy shoes. When I get back downstairs, Edward is standing at the breakfast bar, keys and phone in hand.

"Ready?" he asks.

I inhale deeply, "Yes. Ready as I'll ever be."

The ride over to Tanya's is silent. I can't do anything but look down at my hands, picking at my nails until one of them starts to bleed a little. Edward grabs my hands so I can't do any more damage. He squeezes it and I finally get the courage to look up at him.

"I promise you it will be all right. They'll understand."

"Have you met Rose?" I ask, laughing lightly. "She's going to tell me I've lost my mind over a cowboy I met a week ago. She might take a swing at you, you better prepare yourself."

He just smiles back at me. A few minutes later we reach the house and Edward pulls up in front. I immediately spot Rose, who is packing up the Mustang. She turns to look at us, and all I can do it stare at her from inside the truck. Edward nudges me, kicking me out of my trance.

"You want me to come along? I'm not scared of her," he asks.

"No, I can do this.. I fear that if you come Rose may try to rip your head off…she's not big on monogamy."

I pull myself from the truck, shutting the door behind me. My eyes are fixed on Rose as I walk closer to her.

"I knew it," she states seriously.

"You knew what?" I snap back.

"You're staying."

"How do you know?"

"No bags. You have nothing in your hands Bella…"

_Oh yeah._

"Yeah I'm staying, but only until the end of July. I'll be back for school," I say in a whisper.

"Whatever Bella, I sure hope you don't regret it," she says, slamming the trunk shut. "Alice!" she shouts toward the open front door.

Alice comes through the door, bags in hand. "Bella!" she screams in excitement. Her smile drops when she notices that Rose and I don't exactly have happy looks on our face.

"Bella isn't coming," Rose states, then walks away.

"I'm not going to stay forever," I state, glancing back and forth between both of them. "I'll be back in time for school."

Alice squeals, jumping up and down. I instantly blush, knowing that Edward is watching this whole scene play out.

"Alice, please calm down. He's watching."

Alice looks over, giving Edward an enthusiastic wave.

"You guys are so in love. I can tell," she screeches.

"I wouldn't go that far yet," I look over in his direction, "but there is definitely something there."

Alice pulls me into a hug, "I'm so happy for you Bella. You deserve everything and more."

"Thanks Alice."

How are Alice and Rosalie even related? To be honest, I will miss them both, but right now Alice is the only one I'm planning on mailing 'wish you were here' postcards to.

Rose reappears, her purse in hand. "Ready?" she says to Alice.

I pull myself from Alice's hug. "See ya soon."

"Bye Bella," Alice says, sitting down in the passenger seat. Rose gets in the driver's seat, not even looking my way.

I hear the car come to life and it begins to slowly back down the driveway. I stand there between the truck and the empty space in front of me. A few seconds later, I hear the truck door open and then slam shut. I feel Edward's strong arms wrap around me, making me instantly calm. Oddly, I didn't feel homesick watching the girls drive away. Not one bit. At that moment, I knew I made the right decision.


	12. Chapter 12  Be My Baby Tonight

**EPOV**

It has been six days since Bella said she would stay with me. Although she only agreed to stay for a month, it's better than nothing. In all honesty, I wanted to get down on my knees and beg her not to ever leave, but how do you ask someone to drop their entire life for you? Especially when they've known you for all of two weeks. I couldn't do that. Even though she leaves her shit everywhere, making my OCD flare up like a bad case of herpes, having her around brings me incredible joy. I'd throw buckets of horse shit all over the house if it meant that I got to keep her.

Sometimes I can't help but stare at her, her natural beauty takes my breath away. I feel happy even sitting here at the kitchen table, watching as she clinks her spoon against the bowl with every pass. Normally that sound would make me want to rip it out of her fucking hands. I've never been a patient person with anyone, my fuse always short, I guess I can thank my father for that. But something about her makes me want to contain it. I'm far from perfect though. I just hope she'll recognize I'm trying to be good.

Bella lifts the bowl to her lips, drinking the rest of the milk from it. She's eating that awful fruit loopy children's shit.

"Can't believe you eat that crap," I say to her, shaking my head.

"Don't knock the fruit loops," she says from behind her bowl. "Maybe if you put down your wheat toast and tried some you might change your mind."

"I think I'll pass."

"Such a party pooper," she says. "You never ate these as a kid?"

"My mother never allowed it. She was very serious about eating healthy."

I swallow the lump forming in my throat. I usually don't like to talk about her.

"Well I think we need to change that," she says.

"Bella, my body is what makes me money. I don't think I'll be shoving it full of junk food anytime soon."

Bella gets up from her chair, walking over to me.

"Scoot," she says.

I push myself out from the table and she places herself onto my lap.

"I'm sure I could persuade you," she says kissing my neck.

"Mmm…maybe…as long as it's you I get to eat," I breathe into her ear.

"I think that can be arranged," she whispers back.

My dick instantly hardens and I shift, pressing it into her. I think momentarily about shoving everything off the kitchen table and fucking her right here, but we've got too much shit to do before we leave for California.

"Well, it will have to wait. I gotta go shopping."

She pulls back from me, giving me a confused look.

"I need some new jeans for this weekend," I say as I start to get up, placing her on her feet. I shift my cock in my pants. Having a hard on in Wranglers is incredibly uncomfortable.

"Ready?"

"What about the dishes?"

"They can wait," I say, grabbing her hand. With her around I've even been able to curb a lot of my OCD tendencies.

We walk out to the garage and climb into the Raptor. Bella slides into the middle seat, my favorite place for her to be. We hit the road and I roll down the windows on the freeway, the moist summer heat warming up the cabin. I pull on my sunglasses, my eyes finally rest from squinting. I look over at Bella, who has her hand acting as a visor over her face.

"You don't have any sunglasses?" I ask.

"I had a pair, but I can't seem to find them," she says as she starts rifling through her purse.

I pull mine off my face, handing them to her. She takes them from me, a smile lighting up on her face. She slides them on, looking over at me, flicking up an eyebrow. Something about her wearing shit that's mine makes my dick throb. Must be a possessive thing. We pull into the parking lot of the mall, and I park as far away from the entrance as possible, in an area with the least amount of cars. I shut it off, walking around the front to grab Bella's hand,

As soon as we enter the mall, my eyes immediately recognize a few familiar faces. Most of them are women, who I may or may not have had relations with. Instead of them looking at me, they all have their eyes on Bella. I look down at her, and I can tell that she doesn't seem to notice all the pairs of eyes on her. I can't help but smile. Most women are always all over me, trying to get at me for my money or popularity, but Bella never seemed interested in any of that. I can't say that about any of the other women I have "dated." Maybe that's why I was drawn to Bella in the first place.

I continue to walk on, not looking at anyone's particular reactions, but I can hear them whispering to each other. I look up again and now notice that other men we pass by are eyeing Bella, and I know exactly what their staring at. I stop in my tracks, right in the middle of the busy corridor, pull Bella into my chest and assault her mouth with mine. I run my hands along her back and grab a handful of her ass.

_Maybe Jacob was right, maybe I am a possessive asshole._

I pull my mouth from hers just as suddenly as I'd claimed it and continue walking like nothing happened.

"What the hell was that?" she giggles.

"What?" I look down at her, "I can't give my girlfriend a kiss in the middle of a crowded mall?"

I swallow hard, not believing those words just came out of mouth. I have a _girlfriend. _It sounds so….juvenile.

When we reach the boot barn I am glad to see Jackson behind the counter. Everyone else that works here is highly incompetent.

"Hey man," I nod in Jackson's direction.

"Hey there," he responds, looking over at Bella. "Looks like you didn't go back with the others."

She looks up at me, then back at Jackson. "Nah, I figured I'd stick around for a little longer."

"Awesome, so what can I do for you two?"

"Just gonna grab some new pants for the weekend," I say.

"Ahh sweet, you know where they are man."

Bella lets go of my hand, heading off to the woman's clothing section. When she is out of eyesight I turn back to Jackson.

"You got it all figured out?"

"Yeah man, don't worry…it's all set."

"Good. Thanks for getting it all together," I say shaking his hand.

I start to walk over to the section where the pants are kept and I grab a few off the shelf, knowing exactly which size fits me. I make my way over to the woman's side, looking for Bella's amber hair, but I can't seem to find her anywhere. I make my way back over the men's department, thinking maybe we'd crossed paths. Just as I pass the dressing rooms I immediately feel a pull on my arm, a smile instantly spreading across my face.

_She wants to play._

I am tugged into the dressing room, expecting to see Bella standing there, maybe in nothing but a cowboy hat and boots, but I am incredibly wrong. All I see are long blonde curls, definitely not belonging to Bella. My heart begins to race rapidly, recognizing the face in front of me.

"Long time no see," her voices purrs. "Saw you walking out there earlier, been waiting for you to stroll my way."

"Well are you fucking blind then Heidi? Could you not clearly see I was with someone else?"

She pouts her lips. "I figured she was just another one of us."

She is currently running her hands along my belt buckle. I grab them, throwing them off me "Well she's not."

"Doesn't mean we can't have fun."

"Actually that's exactly what it means."

I turn around, reaching for the door handle, flinging it open. Unfortunately, Bella is standing in my direct line of sight, and she turns to look at me.

_Fucking mother fucking fuck. _

I start walking over to her, hoping that she hasn't seen what just happened. When I reach her I say hello.

"Hi," she responds.

I think I am in the clear, until I see Bella's eyes widen. I turn back around, seeing the blonde leaving the dressing room. Heidi looks over at us, smiles and then pretends to straighten her skirt. I whip my head back to face Bella, who is now staring me down.

"Did that fucking bitch just come out of the same dressing room you just came out of?" she asks.

I inhale deeply.

"Yes, but I can explain," I say.

Bella crosses her arms, successfully shutting me out.

"I was walking through the store looking for you and she grabbed me from one of the dressing rooms. I swear I thought she was you," I say, taking a step towards her.

Bella looks up at me, her eyes boaring into mine.

"I swear," I whisper. "I did not mess around with that girl Bella. You have to know that."

I hear her inhale a deep breath.

"Fine. I believe you. But Edward, I'm really tired of all these whores sniffing all over you everywhere we go. If I ever see her touch you again I will rip her fucking fake blonde hair out and pop her fake tits with my fingernails."

I am stunned hearing those words come out of such a beautiful mouth, but I am also incredibly turned on.

_My baby might be a little possessive too. _

I can't hold back my smile any longer and neither can Bella. I lean into her, grazing my nose along her neck. A few second later I hear a throat clear and I pull myself from Bella. I look over at Jackson, who in turn is staring straight back at us. I smirk at him, knowing that he is enjoying the show.

"Don't even say it asshole," I say to him.

"Hey man, I'm not gonna say shit. But what I will say is that right there is why I'm not a relationship."

"You're just jealous man," I say grabbing onto Bella.

"Right," he says smirking.

"I thought you and Alice hit it off, I mean you two were um…intimate…throughout the week," Bella says, her cheeks turning a light pink.

"Yeah, no offense to your friend, but every time I'm around her I feel like I need to force feed her Ritalin."

I hear a small giggle escape Bella, "Yeah, she can be a little intense."

"But she's a great fucking lay," Jackson says.

"Ahh!" Bella screams, throwing her hands over her ears.

Jackson and I laugh in unison.

"Alright man, we gotta head out, put these jeans on my father's tab," I say, picking up the pairs of jeans off the counter.

He laughs, shaking his head, "I'm sure he'll love that. We'll see you tomorrow at the airport."

"Sounds good. Later man."

I put my arm around Bella, heading out the store.

"Jackson's coming this weekend?" she asks.

"Yeah, he always comes to see Emmett and me ride."

"Ahhh you three got a bromance thing going on?"

"What the fuck is a bromance?" I look down at her confused.

"Ya know, a man crush, a non sexual relationship between men."

I start to laugh. "You city people make up some interesting shit."

She begins to giggle too. "Have you ever seen the movie Brokeback Mountain?"

I shoot her a daggered look. "Fuck that movie. Emmett brought that shit over one time and put it in my mother fucking DVD player while I was in the shower, came down stairs and there was a whole lot of fucking male grunting going on."

Bella starts laughing uncontrollably.

"Let's just say that DVD had a short life before I snapped it and threw it in the fireplace."

Bella and I are about to walk out of mall until we walk by the Sunglass Hut. I stop, grabbing the back of Bella's shirt. She turns around to face me, looking confused.

"Come on, let's go get you a pair of sunglasses."

"What?" she smiles. "You really don't have to do that Edward."

I pull her close to me, whispering in her ear, "But I want to."

I grab her hand, dragging her behind me into the store. Once we get in we are greeted by a tall slender man.

"Can I help you two?" he asks.

"Yeah. This little lady right here, give her anything she wants," I say, pointing down over her head.

The man looks down at her and he flashes her the toothiest smile. _Keep your hands to yourself fucker. _

The next twenty minutes consist of Bella trying on every fucking pair of sunglasses the store carries. I plop my ass down on one of the counters, laying my head back against wall. I close my eyes until I feel someone walk up to me.

"What about these?" I hear Bella ask.

I open my eyes, my heart skipping a beat. She is wearing all black vintage Ray Bans.

"Definitely," I say, peeling myself off the wall and wondering if there is anything this girl can't make look sexy.

We walk over to the cash register and the jealous asshole rings us up.

"That will be $208.95," the employee says.

"Holy fuck," Bella shouts, making me laugh lightly.

I pull three one hundred dollar bills from my wallet, handing it to him. When we finish the transaction we start making our back to the truck.

"Thanks sugar daddy," she says smirking.

I reach down, smacking her ass. "You're very welcome."

When we jump back in the truck, I realize that it's already lunch time and I'm fucking starving. I contemplate taking Bella grocery shopping since its apparent I have nothing to eat in the house, but since were gonna be gone all weekend I decide against it.

I turn to her, "You hungry?"

"I could eat."

"You alright with In N Out?"

She looks at me confused, "What is In N Out?"

An involuntary gasp leaves me, "You've never had In N Out?"

"Nope, we don't have that up in Washington."

I throw my keys in the ignition, peeling out of the parking lot.

I hear her giggle a little, "I thought you didn't eat crap food?"

"I make an exception for In N Out," I say smirking.

"Well it must be good then if the great Edward Masen eats it," she laughs.

I turn to face her, "It's not good, it's fucking orgasmic."

She arches up one of her eyebrows, "Well bring it on then, cause I'm _all_ about orgasmic."

We drive about 15 minutes down the road until I spot the familiar palm tree. I pull into the parking lot, sliding into the first spot I see. I'm not spending extra time to look for a space far away when there is In and Out waiting to be had. Someone can just go ahead and dent my shit. I climb down from the truck, walking over to open the door for Bella. When she climbs out from the truck, I can't help but smile. My baby is rocking those fucking Ray Bans. We filter inside, the place is an absolute madhouse much like it always is. Bella stands in line in front of me, looking up at the menu.

"They don't have a whole lot," she says.

"That cause they fucking rock at making burgers, they don't need other shit. Don't worry, I'll order for us…if that's ok with you."

"Sounds great," she smiles.

The line seems to be moving incredibly slow, so I pull Bella's body back into my chest, wrapping my arms around her. I rest my chin on her head, getting antsy from all the waiting. After a few more minutes, I let out a deep sigh and honestly think about leaving this fucking place. I'm about to keel over from hunger.

"You wanna go?" I whisper into her ear.

"You said this place was orgasmic, you're not gonna deny me that are you?"

I continue to whisper in her ear, "I would never deny you an orgasm Bella."

I hear her laugh lightly. After about another 5 god damn minutes we make it to the front of the line.

"Hi. Can I take your order?"

"Yeah, can we get two number ones, and can we get the French fries animal style."

"Absolutely. That will be $14.38."

I pull out my wallet, handing her my American Express. She looks down at it, her eyes bulging. After she runs it and hands it back to me we walk over to the soda machines. I go to put my card back in my wallet, until Bella wrenches it out of my hand.

"Holy fuck, is this what I think it is?" she says, holding it up to me.

"Yes, it's a credit card."

She shoots me a bitchy look, "Don't be an ass."

I sigh, "Yes, it's an American Express Black card."

"Jesus Christ, I thought these were urban myths, like Big Foot or something. Aren't these like invitation only and you have to be God to get invited?"

I shrug, smiling. She smiles, handing it back to me. We grab our drinks, sitting down at the nearest table. When they finally call our number I jump up, walking over the counter. There is a young girl behind it passing out the orders.

"Here you go," she says, handing the tray towards me, her cheeks turning red.

"Thank you ma'am," I say, giving her my biggest smile.

I turn around, heading back to the table. When I sit down, I separate out Bella's food from mine and slide her order towards her, waiting.

She looks up at me, noticing that I'm not eating. "What the fuck?"

"I don't want to miss your first bite. Seeing your face in the middle of an orgasm is worth going hungry for."

"You're batshit crazy Masen."

I smirk. She takes the burgers in her hand, placing it to her mouth, taking a small bite. I wait.

Her eyes widen, "Holy shit, this is so fucking good."

I laugh, "Orgasmic right?"

"So fucking orgasmic," she says taking another bite and moaning a little bit.

She looks over at her fries, pointing at them "What the hell is this?"

"They are French fries, animal style…"

"What?" she says looking at me, "I didn't see that on the menu."

"That's because they are on the secret menu."

"The what?"

I laugh. "There's another menu, one that's not posted here. The fries are animal style, they have cheese, onions and sauce on them."

"Oh," she says, popping one in her mouth.

I take my burger, taking a bite of it. We eat in silence, both enjoying our meals. When we finish up, I pile all of the trash on the tray, tossing it all.

"Ready?"

"I think I need a nap after that meal," she says.

"That can be arranged," I respond, walking out the door.

When we make it back to the house, I sit down on the couch, realizing how exhausted I am too. I've spent so much time with Bella that I almost completely forgot about my rides this weekend. This will be the first time that I've ever brought a girl with me. I lay my head back as Bella sits down, sliding in next to me. After a few minutes I kick my boots off, grabbing her and lay us vertically onto the couch. We lay there for a long time, not saying anything. I can feel her heartbeat against me. I realize now that this is the most calm my life has been a very long time. I run my hands through Bella's hair, closing my eyes.

We're both so relaxed from our culinary orgasms that we soon fall asleep together, but, what seems like a short time later, I'm woken up by an intense pain in my leg.

"Bella," I shake her lightly.

She doesn't budge. I grab her slightly, sliding her off the top of me and place a blanket over the top of her. I stand up, slipping out onto the back patio. I begin to rub my leg, hoping the pain subsides. I look down at it, shaking my head.

_Fucking bull riding. _

When I look back up, I see my beautiful Bella standing in the doorway, the blanket wrapped around her.

"You alright?" she asks as she makes her way over to me.

"Yeah," I sigh.

"That was reassuring. What's wrong?"

I laugh, "I'm 24 and I already need a fucking new body."

She sits down in the next me, "What happened?"

"What hasn't happened? Bull riding is rough, get stepped on one minute, thrown onto the ground the next."

"Then why do you still do it?" she asks.

"Cause I couldn't imagine myself doing anything else. Those 8 seconds are the most intense, frightening, crazy moments of my life. It started out as way to cope with my mother's death, but now I do it as a tribute to her. Plus it doesn't help that I am fucking awesome at it," I say, with a cocky smirk.

"Wow, you're not conceited or anything."

I lean in, placing my lips on Bella's. I slide my hands on to her hips, pulling her over to me. She swings her legs over, straddling me. I lay back in the chase, pulling her with me. We continue to make out for quite a long time until I start to laugh, feeling like a teenager, like my mother will come in and catch us at any second. Being with Bella makes me feel like I am having the chance to have childhood I was not allowed.

I pull my lips from Bella's, "I gotta go pack for the weekend. It might take me awhile…"

She shakes her head. "OCD?"

I smile, nodding my head up and down. "Do you need to anything?"

"Umm, well I haven't washed any of my clothes since I got here. You think I could use your washer?"

"Of course, you want me to do it for you?"

She laughs, "Uhh no thanks, I don't think were at that point in our relationship where you are allowed to see my dirty laundry."

"Alright, well the detergent is in the cupboard on top of the washer. I'm going to head upstairs," I say getting up.

"Ok," she responds.

I enter my bedroom, pulling my suitcase out of my closet and laying it down on my bed. I walk into the bathroom, putting everything in my toiletry bag, all of it in its designated spot. When I finish that, I head to the closet to pull out a mixture of casual and dressy attire, fold it all up meticulously and put it in the suitcase. I glance over at the clock, noticing that 45 minutes haves passed. Sometimes I wish I could just throw a bunch of shit in like a normal guy and call it a day, but I know that's not an option. I resume my packing, until I hear Bella screaming my name.

I launch myself down the stairs and immediately see bubbly water streaming out from under my laundry room door. I run over, wrenching the door open. Behind it I see Bella, who is soaked on her bottom half. The look on her face is pure horror. I can tell she's waiting for me to flip my fucking lid. I start to laugh,

"I knew I shouldn't have left you alone," I say, waddling through the water.

"I'm sorry," she says quietly.

"Its fine, nothing a little mopping can't fix," I say, walking over to the utility closet, to pull one out.

"Here, let me do it," she says holding her hand out.

"I've got it," I say, scooting her out of the way, but I accidentally bump her too hard and she slips, falling to the ground.

She screeches, her body hitting the ground.

"Fuck Bella, I'm sorry," I groan, trying to reach her.

I hear a sound escape her lips, thinking that it was a cry, my heart breaking in the process. But as I lean closer, I can hear laughter escape her.

"Jesus Christ, you scared the hell out of me."

"I scared you? You're the one who knocked me over!" she says.

"It was a complete accident, I swear!" I respond.

I put my hand out, offering my assistance to get her up but instead she reaches up and pulls on my arm, making me lose my balance. I fall to the ground, the water soaking up my pants, my head hitting the wall.

"Jesus Christ!" I shout out.

Bella is laughing her ass off, not stopping when she sees me rubbing my head.

"You are so going to pay for that," I say, "when you're least expecting it." I can't help but start laughing even though my ass bone is now throbbing in unison with my head.

"Oh I'm sorry," she mocks.

"Yeah you will be," I say smiling.

We both sit up, leaning against the wall opposite the washing machine. We sit there for a few minutes, watching the machine spin over and over, both of us breathing hard. And suddenly I see it so clearly. I'm happy. Really happy. It's like all the chaos that has been my life, since the moment I walked into my mother's kitchen that fateful day, just falls away and what I want is clear. It's at this moment I want to tell her I love her. That I would spend every moment of what's left of my life sitting in this cold soapy water, as long as she was by my side. As I open my mouth to share this epiphany, Bella jumps up, grabbing the mop. I just shake my head, getting up as well. I take the mop from her and start soaking up the water. Sharing all these deep thoughts so soon would probably just freak her out. I need to get it together. I need to _show_ her how I feel. Convince her to stay…

She starts walking out of the room and gives me a fucking hot grin, "I'll be in the shower, why don't you come join me when you're done."

**BPOV **

I flutter my eyes open to an awful beeping noise, rolling over to see Edward next to me. A few seconds later I hear him groan, smacking the alarm off. He rolls over to look at me, smiling instantly.

"Morning beautiful."

"Morning," I say, leaning in to kiss him.

"You ready for California?"

"Yes!" I squeal.

He puts his hands over his ears. "Christ. Ok, well we gotta be out of here in 20 minutes."

"20 minutes? What the hell Edward?" I say smacking him.

"What?" he smiles.

I fly out of bed, running into the bathroom, grabbing my hair straightner on the way. I plug it in, heading to the toilet to pee. When I come back out, Edward it standing in front of the sinks, wearing nothing but his underwear. I take in his body, seeing the small scars across his back and a huge one on the side of leg that was bothering him last night. He is staring at my hair straightner, shaking his head.

"The things you women do for beauty."

I rub my ass, a feeling of stiffness in it. Edward looks over at me, "You alright?"

"Yeah. I think I bruised my tailbone last night."

"You and me both," he responds.

I continue to straighten my hair as Edward finishes getting dressed. He comes back in the bathroom, runs his hand through his hair a couple times, spraying his cologne on and says he's ready.

"I hate you."

He laughs. "I'll be downstairs whenever you are."

I finish putting my makeup on and throw on a simple cotton dress and flip flops. I throw all my toiletries back in my bag, and start heading downstairs. I come around the corner, bag in hand when my eyes meet Emmett's and Jackson's.

"Hey there Bella Bee!" Emmett announces, "You're looking smoking."

I can't help but smile, he definitely starts to grow on you. "Hey Emmett, you look pretty hot yourself."

He smiles, turning to Edward. "You hear that Edward? Maybe she stayed for me and not you. Might have to steal her from you."

"You touch her and I'll rip your dick off," Edward says.

Emmett begins laughing and then swoops me up, throwing me over her shoulder. "Alright, well I've got my luggage, let's go," he says as he walks down the hallway.

I start laughing uncontrollably. "Edward! Can you grab my bags," I yell out as I am hauled out of the house.

We make it outside and Emmett puts me down next to his truck.

"Uhh thanks," I say, straightening out my dress.

"Anytime Bella Bee."

We stand next to his truck as I see Edward and Jackson filter out from the house. Edward has his bags, Jackson holding mine. I run up to take them from him.

"Don't worry Bella, I got it," he smiles. I'll admit it, this boy is fine too. It really is a hardship being surrounded by all these hot cowboys.

"Thanks Jackson, let me grab my purse though."

I pull it from his hands, and reach into it pulling out my new sunglasses. I fucking love these things. The boys start to throw everything in the back of Emmett's trucks. Edward turns to me, "Ready?"

I take a deep breath, "Ready as I'll ever be."

I pull myself into the backseat of the truck, Edward following. It was a short ride to the airport and when we reach it I pull myself down from the truck, almost falling on my face in the process.

_Jesus Christ Bella, will you ever stop being such a fucking spaz?_

Edward turns back to look at me and all I do is smile at him, pretending like nothing is wrong. He climbs into the truck bed, pulling out everyone's suitcases, throwing them down. I get ready to catch mine but instead Edward climbs down, mine still in hand.

"What the fuck?" I ask.

He looks at me confused. "What?"

"I could have caught mine ya know.

"I'm not going to throw this thing at you Bella. It weighs two tons, what the hell do you have in here? Plus you'd probably would have missed," he smiles.

I wrench it out of his hands, making my way towards the airport. I cross the street, not looking back to see if the boys are following. When I reach the front doors of the airport I turn around and notice that all three boys are still standing near the truck. All of them have smiles on their faces and Edward waves his hand, ushering for me to come back.

_Fucking A. _

Annoyed, I start walking back and when I reach them I look at them confused.

"Were going that way," Edward points to the left.

I look over and see a mass of cowboy hats. And a private plane.

_Shit. _

I turn back to the Edward. "We are going on that plane?"

Before Edward can answer Jackson starts laughing. "Guess he didn't tell you that you will be riding to California in a private plane full of bull riders eh?"

I look back at Edward, horrified.

_Plane full of stinky, macho ass men…sounds lovely. _

Edward just smiles, but then mouths "I'm sorry in advance."

Keeping up with my "I'm pissed but not really" attitude, I turn on my heels, making my way towards the plane. I hear the boys behind me laughing. When I get closer to the plane I stop in my tracks, realizing that about a dozen pair of eyes are on me. I hear a few whistles and some whispering, as my heart begins to beat erratically. I turn around to head back to Edward, but as I do I run into his chest.

"Shit…" I breathe out.

Emmett walks up next to us, placing his hand on my head.

"This is Bella, anyone fucks with her, they have to deal with me," he shouts over the crowd. Now even those that hadn't noticed my presence are now looking directly at me.

I then hear more whistles coming from the crowd in front of us.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

I can feel the burn in my cheeks, this whole situation becoming incredibly awkward. I nervously wave to everyone and then reach back, Edward's hand grasping mine.

I turn to look at him, "Just ignore them all, they're a bunch of assholes, including Emmett."

I laugh, holding onto Edward as hard as I can.

"Ready?"

"Fuck no," I laugh.

"Come on, they're relatively harmless," Edwards says as he starts walking and I follow.

We make our way through the crowd, most of the men still looking at us. I look around, now noticing that there are a few females in the crowd, some older and a few whore-ish ones.

"Who are they," I asking, nodding over in the blonde's direction.

He sighs, looking over, "Those are buckle bunnies."

"They're what?"

"They're basically groupies for the PBR."

"Oh. Awesome."

_Wonder how many of them he's fucked._

He pulls me close. "Don't worry, I'll stay as far away from them as possible. But I'm not gonna lie, seeing you kick the shit out of one of them would be highly entertaining. "

"Don't even try it asshole," I say as I start to climb up into the plane, swinging my ass in Edward's face on purpose.

_Those whores have nothing on me. _

I hear Edward laugh as he reaches up, smacking it.

When I get into the small plane, I look around, noticing a few people are already in their seats. I spot Emmett waving his arms, trying to get our attention. I swear he is a child in a man's body. I then notice Jackson next to him, his face in a book.

"Were behind Emmett," Edward says, ushering me forward.

I slide into the seat next to the window, Edward following me. I flip my legs out, realizing there is an enormous amount of space in front of me.

"Pays to be famous huh?" I say, looking over at Edward.

"Yeah, there's a few perks with this job."

"Yeah, like all the free pussy you want," Emmett yells from in front of us.

Edward whacks him in the back of the head, hard.

"Ow," he says, rubbing his head.

"Keep your fucking mouth shut," Edwards says, trying not to smile.

We all start laughing.

Then it really sinks in, I'm going to another state, with a man that is not my father or my brother. I'm going to another state with a man I've known all of a week. Weird. Old Bella would think this was reckless and _way_ too spontaneous. But, I'm not going to lie; I'm really excited to see California. And I'm really excited to be seeing it with Edward.

The plane is full, and it's incredibly loud and hot. _Men._

I pull my iPod out of my bag, placing the earbuds in my ears, turning on some Kings Of Leon. I close my eyes, letting the music flow through my body. After a few minutes I fall asleep. Then, what feels like 5 minutes later, I feel someone shaking me. I open my eyes, emerald green ones staring back at me.

"We're here," he says.

I look around, realizing that the plane it empty, except for us.

"Where the hell is everyone?"

"We landed 10 minutes ago," he laughs.

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"You looked so peaceful, I didn't want to. But we gotta go now."

I pull my earbuds out, throwing my iPod back into my purse. Edward and I make our way off the plane and walk across the tarmac. We make our way over to where Emmett and Jackson are standing, when I notice two women standing next to them.

_It can't be. _

One of them turns around to face us.

"BELLA!" Alice screams as she wraps her arms around me.

_What in the hell are they doing here? _


	13. Chapter 13 Sweet Thing

**A/N: So FFN is still having problem's so make sure you have read the previous chapters. People are still saying they are not getting update emails! **

**So this chapter is a little bit longer than normal...hope you enjoy it!**

**Just one thing I want to mention: Yes Edward is a cowboy, but he DOES make a lot of money, and he spends a lot of it in this chapter. If Edward was just a dirty cowboy, the story would be incredibly boring! :)  
**

**Thanks to my awesome beta! There are no words to express my gratitude!  
**

**Please review! **

**To Beverly Hills we go! **

**Oh and there is a picture of The Jag on my profile! (You'll see)  
**

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BPOV  
**

I look up in disbelief, my eyes meeting Rosalie's.

"What are you two doing here?" I ask, pulling myself from Alice's hug.

"Edward sent a private jet to Seattle for us, he arranged everything. He felt bad about how quickly we left town when Carlisle changed up the schedule and he thought you could use some girl time. "

My heart flutters. _Oh Edward. _

I turn around to look at him, noticing he is currently talking with a few of the other riders. I start in his direction, walking fast. When I get closer I start to run and leap into his arms, smashing my lips to his.

He starts to laugh, "What did I go to deserve that?"

"You know exactly what you did," I beam.

He smiles, my girly bits clenching. "I'm gonna be spending a lot of time working, figured you need the girls around to keep you company."

I lean in, kissing him softly, "Thank you so much."

"You're very welcome."

It is now that I hear the muttering and shuffling behind me and I unhook my legs from around Edward, sliding my body down his. I turn around and notice the two men are now staring at me.

Edward laughs, "Bella, this is Paul and Brandon. I've known them for years now. Paul actually grew up with me."

I smile, holding my hand out to each of them.

"Nice to meet you," I smile.

"Same to you ma'am," they say, tipping their hats.

I turn back around to face Edward, mouthing him a 'thank you', then run off towards Alice's direction again. When I reach them I notice that Jackson now has his arm around Alice. I stare at him, remembering our conversation from yesterday. He just gives me a huge smile, and then rolls his eyes. I look over at Rose, who has yet to say anything, and stand there waiting for her to say something. She's oddly silent. After a few minutes, Edward approaches us, apparently done with his conversation with the riders.

"Ready to head to the hotel?" he asks, leaning on my shoulder.

"Yes!" Alice squeals.

We all start walking off the tarmac together, everyone's luggage in hand. When we make it outside the airport the boys immediately take off to go get our rental cars.

"I'm so glad that you guys are here," I say to Alice.

"I couldn't believe when Edward called, he's so sweet Bella."

"He sure is," I say smiling.

Everything becomes silent for a while, making me on edge.

"You ever going to say anything," I snap at Rosalie, who is currently distracted by putting on lipgloss. She stops immediately and looks my way. "For someone who hates Edward you sure had no problem coming to California on his dime," I add.

She sighs. "Bella, I don't hate Edward. I have a thing against monogamy, you know that."

"But why can't you just be happy for me?"

"I am, I just don't want you to lose yourself because of him."

"You know that's not fucking possible," I smile. "We're the three musketeers."

I see a small smile on her lips and its then that I know everything is going to be ok. I lean in, wrapping my arms around Alice and Rose. Our hug is interrupted when I hear the roar of an engine, followed by the sound of screeching brakes. In front of me is a brand new black Jaguar XK, and Edward is behind the wheel. He rolls down the passenger window, leaning over.

"Get in little lady," he says, smirking.

I giggle, saying my goodbyes to Rose and Alice silently. I pull open the door, sliding into the black leather seat. I look over at Edward, who is now wearing his aviators, which along with his white cotton v-neck and tight dark jeans make him look like sex on a stick.

_Fuck me. Could this boy get any fucking sexier?_

I wave to Alice and Rose as Edward floors it, throwing my body back in the seat. Edward pulls out of LAX, the XK going full speed. He shifts, whipping it up the freeway onramp.

_When did men driving stick shifts become so hot? _

I lean back against the head rest, letting the warm wind whip through my hair. I think it's hotter here than back in Nevada so I end up rolling the window up, opting for the AC instead.

"Nice car, not something I would expect you to choose," I state, smiling.

"I have a soft spot for sports cars," he states. "Seems like you and Rose made up, from what I can tell when I pulled up," Edward says timidly.

"Yeah, you know how Rose is," I respond. "Thanks again for everything. Bringing the girls out, the glasses…everything. I don't deserve it."

He grabs my hand, placing the back of it on his lips, kissing it softly. "Bella, you deserve everything in the world and more, and I plan on proving that to you. "

Edward pays attention to the road again, swerving in and out between lanes at an incredibly fast rate. I clench onto the bottom of the seat and Edward notices.

"I like living dangerously," he says, doing a bond-esque impression.

I laugh, shaking my head.

"Well, then all you need is a Bond girl and your persona is complete," I add.

"She's sitting right next to me."

He places his hand on my knee cap and starts drawing small circles around it, his touch instantly bringing a tingling sensation in my left leg. I look up at Edward, who is looking forward like nothing is happening. He then drags his fingertips down it slowly, getting closer and closer to my girly bits. The car suddenly becomes increasingly hot, all the blood rushing through me. I keep my eyes on Edward, who is still looking completely unaware. His fingers graze over the fabric of my underwear and I can feel that they are already wet. I begin to breathe heavily, the air in the car cabin a mixture of our both scents. He traces the outlines of my thighs, then grazes over my lips several times. I look down at his jeans, his dick clearly having the reaction that his face isn't. He quickly retracts his hand from between my legs and throws the car into another gear.

_Ok, maybe stick shifts aren't that great._

However, he immediately picks up where he left off.

"Bella…" he breathes out. "Take off your panties."

I look at him, my heart racing a million miles an hour. I am a confident woman, but it is clear that he is way more advanced than me in THAT department. I lift my butt off the seat, shimmying my panties down my legs. I take them in my hand and then wrap them around the rearview mirror. Edward places his hands back between my legs, dipping a fingertip inside my lips. I cry out, his touch sending shock waves through my body.

He growls out, "Always so ready."

"Only for you," I breathe out.

He begins to slowly pull his fingers in and out of me, teasing me with each pass. I can feel myself slowly slipping in the seat, not having the energy to hold myself up. Edward begins to pick up the pace, his long fingers sliding in and out. I begin to moan loudly, my breathing becoming difficult. I bite down on my lip, but moans still escape my throat. Edward inserts another finger, but then immediately removes both. He slams his foot onto the clutch, slamming the car into another gear.

The random absence is highly annoying, but acting as a highly arousing game. Edward reaches back, pushing two fingers back inside me in one swift motion. After a few seconds, I can see strings of red taillights up ahead. The freeway begins to slow, the traffic now bumper to bumper.

"Fuck," Edward says, slowing down the car.

I begin to blush a little. "Edward…people can see us," I whisper.

"What? You think he's jealous?" he laughs, leaning forward to get a look at the old guy in the car stopped next to us. "So, that's half the fun," he grins. "Plus, these windows are tinted pretty dark, I doubt anyone can see. Just relax Bella."

_Fuck it._

I roll my tongue over my lips, sighing. Edward leans over to me, putting his lips on mine. I force open his mouth with my tongue, massaging his with mine. I close my eyes and he pushes them as far as they will go. I grab onto his arm for support, feeling his bicep flex with every push. He flicks his fingertips up, both of them pressing against my g spot. I cry out, the feeling so intense I feel I might burst.

"Fuck Edward that feels…." I begin to say, but then take a breath and am not able to finish my sentence.

He starts to pump his fingers as fast as possible and I can feel my orgasm on the edge. I arch my back, essentially pushing his fingers even deeper inside of me. I continue moaning, my hips shaking.

"Come for me Bella," Edward purrs.

He grazes his thumb across my clit, sending ever more powerful waves of pleasure throughout my body. I curl my toes and that's when I can't hold on anymore. I slam my head back into the head rest, closing my eyes. My orgasm rips through my body, it making me feel weightless.

I scream out "holy fuck" over and over. When I come down from it, I open one eye, turning my head over to look at Edward. He shifts his eyes from the road to me, and then cracks a small grin.

"Jesus Christ, you are like the vagina whisperer," I say, feeling incredibly tired now.

"I aim to please ma'am," Edward responds.

"Well, mission accomplished."

He laughs as he flicks on the turn signal, turns his head and gets off the next off ramp. I look out the window, now noticing that we are in downtown LA. The streets are lined with palm trees and, one expensive car after another. After about 15 minutes of driving, we pull into the overhang of a massive hotel. A uniformed valet immediately comes up to my door, opening it for me.

"Welcome to the Four Seasons ma'am," he says, holding the door open for me.

I get out of the car, looking around. This hotel is incredibly fancy, the entrance absolutely breathe taking. How is it Edward can go from living on a ranch and working all day in a dirty, smelly barn to flying on private jets and staying in hotels that look like only Hollywood starlets should be able to walk through the lobby? As I have this thought I look over to see Edward giving the valet a 100 dollar tip. Edward makes his way over to me and places his arm around me as we make it through the front doors.

"This place good enough for my girl?" he asks smiling.

"Edward, this place is too nice. I can't believe PBR pays for you to stay in a place like this."

He laughs, "They don't. You should see some of the shit holes we've had to stay in before. But I choose to pay for the upgrade. Cleaner sheets."

I smile, almost having forgotten about his OCD. No wonder he wants to stay here, everything is impeccable. We make our way to the check-in counter, the cream and brown tile clacking under my feet. I look at all the people in the lobby, all of them are so…elegant. Edward and I definitely stick out like sore thumbs. I feel underdressed.

We walk up to the counter, the hostess greeting us. "Good afternoon Mr. Masen, so glad to see you again," the clerk says, her smile too large for my liking.

"Thank you."

"So it seems we have you booked in the Royal suite…4 adults. Two nights, checking out on Sunday."

"That's correct."

_4 adults? _

"The total for the room will be 2,596.30. Should we just use the card we have on file for you?," she states.

I grip onto the counter, biting my lip to restrain myself from saying the excessive amount of cuss words that want to leave my mouth. I can't even hear his reply about the credit card.

_Jesus Christ, how much money DOES he have? _

They finish getting everything ready, and we start to make our way up to the room. We stand at the elevator banks, not so patiently waiting for one to open. As soon as one finally arrive and the door closes, I slam him up against the wall. Thank god were alone, but if we weren't I don't think I would care. I feel incredibly horny, not knowing if it's because of the fucking awesome hotel were in or the fact that my man can shell out a fuck load of money just so he can have clean sheets.

Edward starts laughing as my mouth attacks his.

"Jesus Christ Bella," he laughs.

"This is what you do to me," I breathe out.

I reach down, placing my palm on the crotch of his jeans, running my fingers up and down his hard length.

"And that's what you do to me…" he says.

I lean up, biting the skin of his neck lightly, wanting to rip off his thin cotton shirt right here. I hear the elevator ding, expecting for this to be us. I pull myself away from Edward and make my way to the door but Edward holds onto me.

"This isn't us," he whispers.

Just as the doors open an older couple walks in, both of them dressed extremely nice. They immediately look down their noses at us. I'm not sure if it's because of the way we're dressed or because it's so obvious what we were just doing before those doors opened..

_Fuck you. _

I glare at them, hoping they got my silent message. I stand in front of Edward, becoming increasingly bored as the numbers on the elevator click up. I smile, and then push my butt into Edward's package, slowly grinding myself on his member. I can hear him breathing hard behind me.

"Such a fucking tease," he breathes into my ear, then licks the outer edge of it.

My insides clench tight.

When we reach the 16th floor Edward pushes on me, silently telling me 'this is us'. We walk out into the hallway and Edward grabs my hips, pushing me to the right. We reach a pair of double doors and Edward slides the key in, the handle blinking red. He does it again, getting the same results.

"Fuck," he breathes out, "You'd think they could come up with a better fucking concept."

I wrench the key out of his hands, sliding it slowly in and out. Green light. I look up at him, beaming.

"Gotta have patience. Sometimes you have to thrust it in real slowly," I say, mocking him.

"Well patience is something I clearly lack. But I can try to practice the thrusting part."

I smile. I'm about to tell him to bring on the practice session right now, but as we enter the room and my mouth instantly drops. This place is fucking HUGE. It's easily twice the size of my apartment back in Seattle. In front of me is a huge living room, adorned with couches and a large LCD TV on the wall. I look to my left and there is a wall full of bottles, one of every kind of alcohol there is. I make my way past the living room and bar, walking into what I assume is the main bedroom. I run my fingers along the plush white comforter, making my way into the humongous bathroom. It's covered from head to toe in black marble. I gasp when I see the bathtub, it's big enough to fucking swim in. When I turn back around, I see Edward, who is now face down on the bed, fully clothed. I slowly sneak up on him, like a tiger hunting its prey. I climb onto the bed, straddling his back. I lift his shirt up and over his head then run my fingers down the length of his back. I start to massage his back, feeling the tense muscles, he relaxes a little under my touch. I trace the small scars on his back with my fingers, counting 10 of them. I begin to rub harder, trying to loosen him up as much as possible. After about another 5 minutes, I hear a knock on our door.

Edward leans up, "That's probably Jackson and Alice. I hope you don't mind, but I told Jackson that he could stay with us, since we have an extra room. I'm assuming Alice is with him."

"Oh," I say, "that's cool."

I'm kinda bummed that we aren't going to alone, but this means I will get to see more of Alice. I get up and walk out into the living room, making my way over to the front door. I unlatch it, my eyes meeting four pairs.

"Hey guys," I say, leaning on the door frame.

They all filter in, Emmett and Jackson immediately heading to the bar.

"Holy shit Bella, this place is fucking incredible," Rose says looking around. "If you're life becomes better than mine I might have to kill you."

I laugh, shaking my head.

"Shots!" Emmett calls out, holding up a bottle of tequila.

Alice and Rose run over as Emmett begins to pour 6 shots.

"I think I'll pass," I say.

"That wasn't a question Bella," he says sliding a shot glass towards me. I wrap my fingers around it and notice that Edward is now leaning against the door frame of the bedroom, his hair an absolute mess. He is staring at me, smiling. I smile back at him.

"Look who decided to grace us with his presence," Emmett says, walking over to hand Edward a shot.

Edward walks over to join us and we all raise our glasses.

"To a fucking awesome ride tonight and may everyone stay safe," Jackson says.

We all throw our shots back, the burn feeling good.

"You almost ready to go?" Emmett says as he turns Edward.

"Yeah man, I'm just gonna take a shower real quick."

"You have to go already?" I ask.

"Yeah we don't get a lot of down time on days of riding. We have to get there generally about 5 hours before our ride."

I stick my lip out, pretending to pout. Edward laughs, shaking his head.

"But you and the girls can go check out the hotel. There' is a free limousine that will take you anywhere you want to go. "

Alice, Rose and I all look at each other, smiling.

Edward runs off to the bathroom to take his shower and the girls and I sit down on the massive couch in the living room.

"So how was the flight here?" I ask them both.

"It was so nice Bella, so exciting. I've never been on a private jet!" Alice squeals.

"Sounds better than mine," I mutter.

"Come on Bella, who wouldn't want to be on an airplane with dozens of hot cowboys? That's like a fantasy come true for me," Rose says smiling.

"Well than you can have my seat on the way back," I state, not really joking.

"Done."

I hear the rustle of bags when I turn and see all three boys getting ready to head out.

Edward walks over to where I am sitting on the couch, holding something out to me.

_Holy fuck. _In his hand is his black card.

"Anything you guys do in the hotel, charge it to the room. But if you're planning on going outside the hotel use this."

"Edward, I can't take your money."

"You're not taking it, I'm offering it. Please just take it; it makes me feel better knowing you have it."

I reach out with a shaky hand, taking it from his. He leans down and kisses me on top of my head.

"Something should be coming for you soon," he whispers.

_What MORE could there be_?

"What is it?" I ask.

"I'm not going to tell you, you'll just have to wait."

I humph.

"We gotta head out, see you in a couple hours."

"Ok."

The boys leave and I turn to Alice and Rose, who are now staring at me.

"So when are you gonna tell him you love him?" Rose asks.

"I'm not in love with him," I snap back.

"Yes you are Bella. You're sitting here in his suite, holding his BLACK American Express card. He buys you things. Either you love each other or you have a Pretty Woman situation going on.

"Who the hell wouldn't be?" Alice screams. "He's good looking, he's rich, and he follows you around like a puppy dog…do I need to even go on?"

I get butterflies in my stomach.

"He is pretty wonderful, but he has a lot of skeletons in his closet."

"Spill," Rose says, scooting over to me.

"Where do I start? His obsessive compulsive disorder, his strained relationship with his father, the situation with Jake, the constant women vying for his attention, acting as a father for his niece, trying to take care of his older sister, still grieving over losing mother when he was way too young..."

"Everyone has problems Bella, you can't expect him to be perfect."

"I don't. But sometime I feel like I am in his way. Like I create more problems for him."

"Bella, he would be nuts not to hold onto you with both hands. You are a fucking catch, and don't ever let him forget that," Rose states.

I smile, glad to have my girls with me. We hear a light knock on the door and Alice and I squeal. I flip over the back of the couch, running to the door, pulling it open. I am met by a young woman who is dressed in a tight black pencil skirt, a bright blue blouse and sky high heels.

"Ms Swan?" she purrs.

"Yes," I answer, hesitating.

She holds out a large white box with a black bow on top. "I am the personal concierge for this suite. This is for you from Mr. Masen."

I reach out, taking it from her hand lightly, expecting it to not be real. "Thank you," I whisper.

"Anytime Miss Swan, if you need anything else please let me know."

"I will."

"Have a great day," she smiles, than turns and walks away.

I close the door, holding the box out in front of me. Alice comes running over to me as I place it on top of the bar.

"Open it!" she screams.

I start to unravel the bow, my hands shaking lightly. No one has ever bought me a present before, unless it was my birthday or Christmas. I lift the box top off, noticing the embroidered tissue paper with a repeated hooked "C's" on them.

"Holy shit," Alice gasps. "Chanel," she says in a reverent whisper. Of course SHE knows what it is purely by the wrapping.

On top of the tissue paper is a small white envelope. I pull the small card out of it.

_To my city girl,_

_I believe I owe you a dress if I remember correctly. Time to pay my dues. But the ring is to tell everyone that you are mine._

_~ You're possessive asshole cowboy._

My heart is beating so fast that I swear it's going to break through my chest. I pull the tissue paper apart and pull out a small strapless black dress. Its short, the edges of it covered in ruffles. It is so beautiful, it kicks the ass of the one he destroyed. I run my hands over the fabric. I set it down next to the box and notice a small velvet box in the upper corner. I reach in, digging it out. I slowly pull it open and see a ring in the shape of a rose. It's all black except for the leaves on the side, which hold small diamonds. I place my hands over my mouth, trying to hold back the tears. It's the most beautiful thing I have ever owned. I take my shaky fingers, taking it out of the box, sliding it onto my right index finger. I hold it up, letting the diamonds sparkle in the lighting.

"Well you're his now," Rose states.

_Sometimes she is a real buzz kill._

"You know what, there's no one else's I'd rather be."

"God Bella, you are so lucky," Alice sighs. "That a Chanel Camelia, do you even know how much that costs?"

"I don't think I want to."

I run to get my phone, texting Edward.

**I got my present. I am absolutely floored. I love them both. Thank you SO much! **

I sit there impatiently, waiting for his response..

**You're very welcome. You are worth every penny. **

I type a message back.

**Should I wear the dress tonight?**

**No. It's for tomorrow.**

_Tomorrow?_

**I can't really talk now, but can't wait to see it on you. And I promise when I take it off you, I'll be gentle this time.**

**Ok, thank you so much again! See you soon! **

Alice, Rose and I spend most of the afternoon by the pool, drinking and laying in our own private cabana. The place is packed, everyone probably out here for the summer. We order appetizers poolside and tons fruity girly drinks. I laugh, thinking Edward would probably be shaking his head at me drinking these.

Before I know it, it's time to head back to the room so we can get ready to go to the arena. When we reach the suite each of us take showers in one of the two opulent bathrooms. I get dressed, pulling on my favorite pair of jeans. I brought my boots, knowing how much Edward likes me in them. I pull them on, along with a grey undershirt and a black and white checkered over shirt. I finish getting ready quick and head out to the living room, noticing the girls aren't out here yet. I walk into the other bathroom.

"Come on, were going to be late," I say to Rose.

"Hold your horses Bella," she says as she puts her eye liner on. She stands back up, straightening her boobs. "I'm ready."

We make our way out to the living room, grabbing the key off the counter, making our way to the elevators. When we make it down to the lobby we stand there, realizing that we don't know how we are getting to the stadium. A few seconds later I see the valet pull up in the Jag . I look over at Alice and Rose, a huge smile on my face.

"Shoutgun!" Rose screams, running towards the front seat.

I walk over to the man that is now holding the driver's door open for me, a weird look on his face. I reach into my purse, pulling out a 5 dollar bill. I really wish I had more. I hand him the rumpled bill and thank him.

"You're very welcome Mrs. Masen. Drive safe," he says as I slide into the driver's seat.

My heart flutters, and for some reason I don't correct him.

It's now that I see why he had a weird look on his face. I look over at the rearview mirror and what is hanging from it? My thong. I reach up to pull it off but not fast enough to escape Rose and Alice's notice.

"Holy shit Bella, is that what I think it is," Rose says.

I feel the burn in my cheeks.

"Look who has a slut side that's slowly creeping out," she adds.

"Shut up Rose," I say, pulling it off and throwing it in my purse.

I turn my attention back to the car, which is already running. I pull the emergency brake off and push the clutch down all the way, shifting the car into first gear. I let go of the brake, the car moving forward. I smash my foot on the gas pedal a little too hard, the car responding immediately. I pull out of the parking lot, getting onto the main road.

_Shit if I wreck this car I'm going to have to work for 15 years to make enough money to pay it off. _

"Uhh where are we going?"

"Staples Center," Alice pipes from the back seat.

I look over, seeing that the car has a navigation system.

"Put it in," I tell Rose, pointing to the screen.

A few seconds later I hear a female voice come over the speaker.

"Turn left at Wilshire Boulevard,"

I turn left.

"Turn right at South La Cienega Blvd."

I turn right.

"Make right to get on Interstate 10 E/Santa Monica Freeway."

I find the on ramp, flooring the car. It takes off like a bat outta hell.

_No wonder Edward likes this so much._

We travel down the freeway for about 10 minutes, till the nav bitch perks up again.

"Take exit 13B on the left to merge onto CA-110 N/State 110 N"

After a few more turns I see the large signs for the Staples Center. That's when I hear my phone chime.

I pull it out of my purse, noticing I have a message from Edward.

**When you get here, go to the back gate. Tell them you're with me.**

I start to make my way to the back, seeing a large gate in front of me. I pull up to the guard booth.

"Evening ma'am," he says.

"Hello, um we're with Edward Masen," I say nervously.

"That would make you Ms. Swan," he says, pressing the gate button.

I smile, thanking him. I pull up into the back lot, the place is full of large semi trucks. When we get closer to the back my eyes land on Edward. He's leaning against the wall, a cigarette hanging from his lips. He's now wearing a white cowboy hat, his riding vest and worn leather chaps.

_Maybe he should bring those Chaps home with him__. _

I park the car far away from him and just stare. He's talking in a large group, and I spot Emmett as well. Not wanting to interrupt I remain seated, but Rose and Alice have already filtered out of the car.

"Wait…" I say, trying to catch them before they get out.

Rose slams the passenger door shut and Edward's eyes snap up to us. He looks pissed. I climb from the driver's seat, leaning against the car. He pulls the cigarette from his lips and flicks it to the side.

He starts to walk over to me, his pace quickening with every step. I begin to feel incredibly nauseous, my heart beating erratically.

_Why is he mad?_

When he reaches me, I smile, trying to diffuse whatever mood he's in.

"Hey," I say softly. "Thank you for…."

I am abruptly stopped. "Bella, what the hell are you doing driving this car?," he says sternly, pointing to the Jag.

"Uh," I start. "How the hell did you expect us to get here?"

"I told you the hotel would bring you."

"No, you mentioned it would take us shopping…"

He sighs loudly.

"It never occurred to me you wouldn't trust me to drive the car. You know what? I can't take this shit right now, have a nice ride," I say as I start walking away from him.

I feel his hand grab my elbow, "Fuck. Bella, I'm sorry."

I turn back around. He sighs again, "I'm a little on edge, apparently my father decided to show up."

_Explains the cigarette._

"He came to see you ride?"

He laughs. "He could care less about me. No, he comes to promote his business. Always looking for a way to make money. I'm sorry I snapped at you. Him being around always makes me on edge."

He gives me puppy dog eyes, running his fingers on the skin between my shirt and jeans.

_Damnit. Why can't I stay mad at him for more that 2 min? _

I reach up, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Thank you for my presents. I absolutely love them."

"Your very welcome baby. I'm sorry I got so fired up about the damn car, I'm just not used to sharing my things yet – you're the first person I've ever wanted to share anything with."

I stand up on my tippy toes, tilting his hat backwards. I place my lips of his and our anger melts away.

I pull back from him, "So cowboy, what do you say we find ourselves a hiding place and have a quickie?" I whisper seductively.

"Fuck, that sounds incredible," he groans. ". But we gotta be heading back inside. Rain check?"

I nod. Edward grabs my hand and we make it back over to the crowd. Alice and Rose are now talking with the other riders, Rose clearly flirting with them all. Emmett does not look pleased. A laugh escapes me, everything is so fucked up.

Edward and I start walking up the ramp, making it into the back room of the arena. When we make it halfway down the hallway, I notice a large group of trashy women, giggling and running around. _Fucking buckle bunnies. _

They all look at us as we pass and I grab onto Edward tighter. Each of them giving me a nasty look.

_Greater woman won bitches._

I let go of Edward and instead he wraps his arm around my shoulder. When we make it out to the arena I am astounded by the amount of people here. It's easily twice the amount than the shows in Nevada.

"How do you do it," I say, still looking up at the crowd.

"Honestly, I don't even realize their there. When I'm on the bull, it's just him and me."

"God that must be scary," I say.

"It's fucking terrifying," he says, smirking.

We see Jackson and Alice walking up to us, "Hey man, your almost up, you need to suit up."

"Alright thanks man," he says, then turns towards me. "Be back in a flash," he says, giving me a kiss.

"Good luck, and be safe."

"Always am."

He turns and walks away, leaving me with Jackson and Alice.

"Different feeling when you actually like him, huh?" Jackson says, nudging me.

"It's so scary. I don't know how he does it."

"He's pretty tough Bella, he's been through a lot. In and out of the ring."

I look out to the chutes, waiting to see him. A few minutes later he's there, throwing his body over the gate. He sits down on top of the bull, his helpers getting him tied in. I get a huge sense of déjà vu. Oh how things have changed since I saw this for the first time. When he is all strapped in, the men on the ground say something to him, Edward nodding in response. A split second later the gate flies open, the large bull charging out. Edward is being tossed back and forth, the bull changing directions every second. Time seems to slow down, my eyes trained on Edward. I hold my breath in until I hear the loud buzzer ring out. I jump up and down squealing, knowing that he held on for the full 8 seconds. I am in a state of blissful fangirl celebration, until I see Jackson bolt, climbing up and over the steel gate. There is utter chaos going on in the middle of the ring. There are now a mass of guys crowding around the bull, which is still bucking furiously. I notice Edward is not on top of it anymore, but instead is hanging off the side, his right arm still strapped to the bull. I run up to the steel gate, climbing part way up to get a better look. My heart is beating fast, tears threatening to fall.

_Keep it together Bella._

Each of the men are taking turns trying to pull themselves up so they can unhook Edward's hand. The bull is too strong, knocking many of the men over in the process. I am almost tempted to climb over the gate myself, but fear keeps me in place. After what seems like forever, one of the rodeo clowns pulls Edward free, the bull finally calms down and the rest of the cowboys herd it into the corral. A sigh of relief escapes me, but my whole body is still pulsing with adrenaline..

As soon as Edward stands up, holding onto his right arm, he looks over at me and comes running up to the gate, placing a passionate kiss on my lips. I grab him back, holding onto him, attacking his mouth. When he pulls back, I look up, seeing ourselves on the big screen.

"That was a close one ladies and gentleman. Looks like Masen may have found his lucky charm," the announcer says over the loud speaker.

I giggle and so does Edward. "Maybe you are my lucky charm," he says.

The announcer continues, "And now for the results. A difficult end to the ride, however, the judges here today have granted him a score of 98, which means Masen is still standing at the top of the roster." There is thunderous applause.

Edward climbs down from the gate, pulling off his hat, waving it to the crowd. He turns back around to me, and points to the back of the arena, then starts walking that way. I climb down from the gate, and start running towards the back. When I reach it I find Edward, who is now taking off his vest and gloves. He is rubbing his hands, his face contorted in discomfort. However, when his eyes meet mine, he lights up.

"How you doing there cowboy?" I ask, grabbing his hand in mine, rubbing it.

"Better now that you are here."

"That was something I never want to see again."

"Unfortunately I can't promise that. I've never said that bull riding ain't dangerous."

I continue to rub his hand. I lean down so that my mouth is close to his ear, "wanna redeem that raincheck?"

A growl leaves his throat, "Fuck yes."

We make our way out to the back parking lot, looking around. Both of our eyes fall onto the Jag. Edward starts walking faster, pulling me along with him. We both slide into the seats. I reach over and pull Edward's hat off, throwing it into the back seat, and then start undoing his belt buckle. What seems like only a few seconds later, all our items of clothing are in a massive pile on the back seat. .

"Come on over baby," he says, sliding the seat back as far as it goes.

I start to get up, climbing up and over the parking break. As much as I love this fuckawesome care, I kinda wish we were in the truck. Jaguars were not designed with front seat sexing in mind.

I straddle Edward, our centers lining up with each other. I push myself down on top of him, his cock extremely hard. I put my hands into his hair, tugging on it slightly. Edward's mouth is on my breasts, his teeth biting down on my nipples.

"Fuck, " I cry out.

I begin to shuffle back and forth, my pussy grinding onto him. He wraps his arms around my back, and lifts me up slightly so he can slide right into me. His dick feels incredible filling me.

"I fucking love your cock," I cry out.

"Is that the only part of me you love?" he laughs.

"No," I say, "I love your chin," I say kissing his chin, nibbling of his stubble. "And your hair," I say, pulling the strands through my hair. "And you fuckhawt chest," I say, leaning down to place kisses of his pecs.

"Good to know you just want me for my body," he smirks.

I let out a laugh, and then Edward holds onto me, thrusting his dick deeper into me, making me bounce up and down. His thrusts become increasingly rapid, making my head start to hit the roof of the car. I let out a small squeal.

"Edward, slow down," I breathe out.

He slows down a little, but not losing his momentum. I start to hear talking, noticing that a few people have come outside. The car is mostly hidden by the large semi's, but people could still come walking by. My adrenaline spikes, knowing that we could be caught at any moment. I reach down, hitting the button on the side of the seat, making the back of it lower. The different position makes his cock curve up inside my pussy, it hitting my wall.

"Fuck!" I scream out, needing his lips to be on mine. "Fuck me Edward!"

"Bella, get up," he says.

I climb off him but then flipping us over so that I am now facing backwards over the seat. Waves of pleasure flow to my head, before he has even entered me. I guess its knowing what this position does for me. I look back over my shoulder, seeing Edward grab his cock into his hand. He places his other hand on the small of my back, and then thrusts inside of me. I honestly think I am going to come right then and there. I start to breathe hard, my fingernails digging into the leather of the head rest.

I hear Edward moan, "Fuck Bella, if you could see the view I have right now. It's fucking amazing. Can I try something?" he asks.

"Uh sure," I say, a little scared but also intrigued.

Its then that I feel him pull his cock out of me, and then dips his fingers inside me, picking up some of my wetness onto them. He then re inserts his cock into me. It is then that I feel his fingers swirls around my other opening, a greater wave of pleasure releasing throughout my body.

"Fuck Edward," I cry out. "That feels so fucking good."

He places his hand on my rear again, this time slowly pushing his thumb inside it. My body begins to violently shake and I have to lean against the seat, my arms no longer working. He begins to work his finger and cock at the same time creating a sensation I have never felt before. Not able to hold on any longer, my orgasm rockets through my body, sending me into a screaming frenzy.

In the middle of my orgasm, I feel him pull out of both and that's when I feel a warm substance on my back. I hear a few grunts leave Edwards mouth, while muttering my name a few times. When we both come down from our high, Edward reaches over grabbing his pair of boxers. He wipes the fluids off my back and when I'm clean I flip over so that I'm underneath him again.

His eyes are now staring back at me.

"That was fucking incredible," I breathe out.

"Tell me about it," he breathes out.

Over the next few minutes we awkwardly pull back on all of our clothes, Edward now going commando. I pull myself from the car, making sure my clothes are on straight. Edward pulls himself from the other side and we start to make our way back to the arena. However, I am stopped in my tracks when I see a familiar figure leaning against the wall, a massive grin on his face.

_Jake. _

"Hey there beautiful," he says to me, completely ignoring Edward.

"What the fuck are you doing here Black," he growls.

"Not that it's any of your business, but I came down with your father."

"Oh cute. Guess my father has the son he's always wanted. I hope you two will be very happy together," Edward says, yanking on me. Just as we're about to walk away I hear Jake clear his throat.

"By the way, I enjoyed the show you two put on there," he nods towards the car. "Didn't know you were so kinky Bella. If you were mine I wouldn't fuck you in a car, I would make love to you in a bed, kissing every inch of you."

A wave of anger flows over me, and as usual, Edward is now up in Jake's face.

"That's it. I never want to see you around either us again. I never want you to utter a word to her again, I don't care if she begs you to come over, I don't care if you run into her on accident, if I see you near her again, it will be the biggest mistake you ever made. She's mine. Stay the fuck away from her."

"Classic Edward. Always thinking he can control everyone. You don't own me, you can just think that you can say a few words to me and I'm going to obey? I didn't do anything for you to treat me this way."

I stand there, watching both of them, my heart pounding.

"You didn't do anything! What about Charlotte?" I scream out.

Jacobs face immediately changes, his face becoming soft, and then hard again. He turns his attention back to Edward, "You told her about Charlotte?" he asks sternly .

"Oh so you do know who Charlotte is, could have fooled me," Edward mutters.

"I honestly don't think it's either of your fucking concern," Jake snaps back.

"When I have to watch my niece multiple times a week because Victoria has to work double shifts just so she can make enough money to support them, in turn making me lose hours of sleep…her father nowhere around, THAT makes it my fucking concern. When I have to try to distract a little girl who keeps asking me who her daddy is and why he doesn't come home, THAT makes it my fucking concern too asshole. "

"And Edward is important to me, and he tells me everything. WE are in a relationship," I add.

Jake starts to laugh, "He's got his hooks in you so deep."

He turns to look at Edward, still talking to me. "So while he was airing all this dirty laundry, did this asshole tell you how he used to fuck multiple women every night, the whores tripping over each other as one left and came in. He's the last fucking man on the planet to be in a 'relationship' with Bella. Did you get your STD test yet?"

Edward lurches towards Jacob, his fist balled, but I lunge to stop him. "Come on Edward," I say, pushing him towards the door, trying desperately to make him budge. "You can go head and delete my number," I say back to Jake.

I hear Edward say something again to him, but can't make it out. I rip open the door, not caring if Edward is following me or not. When we make it back inside I notice that Edward is by my side and I slip my hand in his.

"Fuck that guy," I say.

"I never want to see him around you again," Edward says completely serious.

"Not a problem."

Emmett and Rose walk up to us, obviously having noticed our intense conversation.

"What the fuck is going on?"

"Jake's here. Starting shit as usual," Edward states.

"Man, I don't know what got into the boy," Emmett says shaking his head.

"He's after Bella," Edward states.

"What?" I say.

"Bella, he's totally trying to make a play for you. You're his latest obsession," Edward says.

"And how did you come to this conclusion," I say, crossing my arms.

"Bella, I am a man, I can tell. Plus my father said he won't shut the fuck up about you, the sole reason for the incident in the kitchen."

_Another example of me complicating Edward's life. _

"But why was he always so nice to me?"

"Simply a game," he states.

_Boys are more confusing than girls._

Things are quiet between the four of us for a second.

"I am not spending another minute talking about that asshole, let's go," Edward says.

"Dude, you've gotta do interviews," Emmett says.

"Fuck!" Edward groans, and then turns to me, taking a deep breath. "I shouldn't be more than an hour, and then we'll go back to the hotel and get some dinner," he leans down, kissing me on the forehead. Edward and Emmett walk back together, heading into a large group of camera's and men holding microphones.

Rose turns to me, "Wanna beer?"

"Fuck yes," I breathe out.

We walk over to the beverage counter, ordering two Coors Lights. We hear Alice and Jackson walk up behind us giggling.

"Where the hell have you been?" I ask.

"Umm around," she says, looking over at Jackson.

When she turns her head to the side I notice the massive hickey that she is now sporting. I just smile, shaking my head.

"Why don't you two just admit you fucking like each other already?"

They look at each other, not saying anything.

_Shit, their more complicated than Edward and I. _

We all sit down at a small table, waiting for Edward and Emmett to finish. I see Jake walk by, my heart beginning to race rapidly. His eye captures Jackson's and he starts to make his way over to us, grinning like an asshole.

_Fuck. _

As soon as he reaches the table I jump up, knocking my chair over in the process. Just what I would need is for Edward to make a scene in front of all the media.

"I'll meet you guys back at the hotel," I say, not looking in Jake's direction.

I walk quickly into the back; the guards must recognize me because they don't even bother stopping me now. I walk over to the media pit, but it looks like they are already done with the interviews. I scan the arena and see that Edward is back by the ring leaning over the gate with something in his hand. As I make my way closer I see a bunch of small kids on the ground, each holding out a pad of paper for him to sign.

"You gonna grow up and be a bull rider," he asks one of the small boys.

"Yes sir, I wanna be just like you when I grow up," he exclaims.

At this moment my heart swells. I walk up to the end of the line, waiting patiently. He looks up from signing an autograph, now noticing my presence.

"Well, you keep working hard. Always practice. Maybe if you're lucky you might even get a girl as beautiful as mine," he says, winking.

Each of the children gets Edward's autograph, and finally I am the only one left standing there.

"And what can I do you for miss? An autograph perhaps?" he smiles.

I climb up the gate, so we are now face to face.

"I'm afraid I'm going to want more than that," I say, placing his lips on mine.


	14. Chapter 14  A Feelin Like That

**A/N: First off I would like to dedicate this first scene to UrNotFukinKStew...we have been planning this for a while ;) **

**A major thanks to my beta, I love you so much!**

**Thank you to everyone still reading and reviewing! You rock my socks. **

**In other news: I will be doing an outtake of PL for the Fandom4Tsunami so make sure you donate and get some awesome O/S and help out Japan in the process! **

**As ever, I hope you enjoy! **

* * *

**BPOV**

Waking up in a plush King sized bed in California is definitely something I could get used to. I pick up the comforter, sliding myself closer to Edward. Picking up his arm, I slide myself under it. Everything is quiet, until I hear Edward snore loudly in my ear. I take one, of the fucking thirty pillows that are on this bed, and smack his face with it.

Edward startles awake, "What the fuck," he says.

I drop the pillow, and close my eyes, pretending like I'm asleep. I can feel him lean his face over me, and then I feel his fingers reach down to my stomach.

_Morning sex?_

But instead of going further south, Edward starts to tickle me furiously. My eyes fly open and I laugh uncontrollably.

"Beg for mercy," he says, tickling me harder.

"Edward….." I say between gasps. "Stop…"

He continues and I become a mixture of mad and short of breath.

"Edward!" I gasp.

He stops after a few more seconds, "That will teach you to whack a sleeping man with a pillow," he smiles.

"Well if that man didn't sound like he was sawing logs I wouldn't have to," I retort, smiling.

He leans in, giving me a kiss. "Morning,"

"Morning," I answer. "What's the plan for today?"

Just as Edward is about to open his mouth, I hear a knock on our bedroom door.

"Bella," Alice whispers. "Are you awake?"

_Shit, I almost forgot they were here. _

A thought pops into my head, and I look down at Edward smiling. I kick my leg over, straddling him.

"Oh Edward," I cry out. "Fuck, just like that."

Edward looks up at me, clearly confused.

"Play along," I whisper. A large smile plays across his face.

I moan out loudly, Edward repeating me.

"God Bella, you're so wet," he cries out.

I moan ever louder, "Harder Edward!" I scream out. I smack my hand against the wall, making a loud thud noise.

After a few more seconds, I hear the front door to the hotel room slam shut. I laugh, climbing off Edward.

"What the hell," Edward asks. "Why don't you finish what you started…?"

"I would, but I'm famished," I say as I bounce into the bathroom. "I'm going to go take a swim in the tub."

I walk over to the humongous bathtub, turning the hot water on. I pick up the small bottles that are on the countertop, grabbing the one that says 'Bubble Bath.' I open it up, putting it up to my nose. It smells like vanilla cupcakes. I squeeze it under the running faucet, but it comes out faster than I expected. I hold the bottle up to the light, noticing that ¾ of it is gone.

_Fuck me. _

I look back down at the tub, which now has a large layer of foam on top of the water. I immediately shut the water off, pulling off all my clothes. I dip my toe in the water, testing the temperature. It's a little hot, but I slide the rest of my body in, the bubbles coming up to my face. I close my eyes, feeling incredibly relaxed. After a few minutes, I start to slide down under the water, the warmth feeling good over my body. After I can't hold my breath any longer I come up to the surface, wiping the bubbles off my face. As soon as I open my eyes, I see Edward standing next to the edge of the bathtub, his cock at full staff.

_Will I ever get used to him being naked? Probably not._

"Is there something I can do you for?" I ask, rubbing my hands over my breasts.

"Scoot over," he says as he dips his foot into the water.

"Did I invite you in?" I ask in a condescending tone, sliding over to the other end of the tub.

Edward slides the rest of his body into it, the bubbles hitting him in the chin.

He swats them out of the way, "What the fuck is with you and bubbles?" he laughs.

"I like bubbles," I laugh, pushing the foam up over my breast.

I grab the bottle of shampoo, with the same scent of the bubble bath. Before I squirt some in my hand, Edward wrenches it away from me.

He does a little circle with his finger, silently telling me to turn around. I flip myself around so my back is now on his chest. I feel his fingers run though my hair, thick foam covering it. I almost feel child like having him wash my hair, but there is also something oddly arousing about it. I can tell Edward agrees because I can still feel his dick pulsating against me. Just as I am about to turn around to take care of it, I see Emmett's massive figure come flying in. I scream, throwing my arms over my breasts, shoving bubbles around me.

"What the fuck are you two doing in here," Emmett comes in laughing. He stands there, crossing his arms. "Well look what we have here, never thought I would see you in a bubble bath Edward."

"Emmett," Edward says sternly, "get the fuck out of here."

"Fine, fine. But breakfast downstairs in 10. All you can eat buffet man."

I look over at Edward, a look of horror on my face.

"Yeah, Emmett's parents didn't teach him very good manners."

"No shit." I shake my head, and then dunk my head, getting all the shampoo out. I start to pull myself out of the water.

"Where do you think you're going?"

I look down at him, confused. "Breakfast," I say pointing towards the door.

He sighs. "Fine, but I WILL get you alone tonight Bella," he says sternly.

My insides clench at the thought.

I get out of the tub, wrapping a large warm towel around me. A few minutes later I hear Edward pull himself out as well. I made my way to the bedroom, walking over to my suitcase. When I pull it open, I notice that all my clothes are missing.

"Edward…" I call out.

"Yeah?" he says as he strolls back into the bathroom, without a towel on. My eyes just keep traveling down. I shake my head, throwing myself out of my cock trance.

"Where are all my clothes?" I ask.

He cracks a small smile, "In the closet."

I shake my head lightly, laughing, "And how did they get there?"

"I have no clue."

"Isn't that what maids are for?"

"They don't do it right."

I walk over to the closet, pulling open the double doors. In it I find all my clothes, neatly hung according to color. I then look to my left, seeing Edwards' clothes right next to mine and I can't seem to hold back a smile.

I pull out some clothes for the day, throwing them on. About 15 minutes later Edward and I are in the elevator on our way to breakfast. Edward grabs my hand as we walk outside, making our way to the outside dining Rose, Emmett, Jackson and Alice are all sitting at a table, laughing and talking. A sense of joy overwhelms me, seeing how much my new world and old world has combined. Edward pulls out my chair for me, I slide in and he tucks it back under me. Everyone stops talking, and I just stare at Alice, and crack a smile.

"God I'm starving, that workout this morning left me famished," I say, trying to not break out in laughter.

"You went to the gym without me?" Rose asks, confused.

"Nope, but I am definitely up for another workout," I state, my eyes fixated on Alice.

The look on her face is pure horror.

I put my hand on my back, making wincing noises. "I think I pulled something,"

"OK!" Alice finally screams. "Were even."

I smile, shimmying in my chair. I look back up at everyone else, all of them extremely confused.

"Hey Edward," Jackson says, turning to Edward. "Congrats on the screamer."

A gasp leaves my mouth, and Jackson turns to me winking.

_Touche asshole. _

I get up from the table, knowing that I haven't won this battle and go in the search of food. Not a mere 10 feet away, I find food Narnia. Before my eyes is a long table, wrapped in a white cloth, with food looking so good it has to be a mirage. I walk up to the table, and literally have to stop myself from drooling. A young man standing behind it, holds out a plate to me and I take it delicately. As I make my way down the table, my plate becomes more and more full, no part of the white porcelain visible on the bottom. When I make it back to the table everyone is still in their seats.

"Jesus Christ Bella, did you leave any for the rest of us?" Rose asks.

"Bite me," I say as I pierce a sausage with my fork.

I look over at Edward, who is smiling like a fool for some reason. I take a bite of my sausage, making him wince. He starts to get up, everyone else following. After a few minutes of me sitting at the table alone, a young bus boy comes by, scaring me out of my food orgasm.

"Water ma'am?" he asks.

"Yes please," I say as I go to grab the empty glass on the table, at the same time he does.

I giggle nervously, "Sorry," I say as pull my fingers from on top of his.

"Don't apologize, it's not every day I get to hold hands with such a beautiful woman," he says smiling.

It's now that I notice how attractive this man is. _Damn Beverly Hills. _I can feel the burn in my cheeks flaring up, and my eyes travel back down to my hands. As I go to respond, I hear a throat clear beside us. Edward slams his plate down on the table, but remains standing, extremely close to the busy boy.

"Can I get you some water sir?" he asks Edward nervously.

"That would be wonderful," he responds, remaining standing.

The boy continues to fill all 6 glasses on the table, not saying another word. As soon as he leaves, Edward sits down, pulling out his napkin, placing it on his lap. We sit there in silence, only the sounds of our utensils hitting the plates emerge. Just as I'm about to ask Edward what the hell his problem is, I see the foursome making their way back. As they all sit down, things seems..awkward.

"What the happened when we were gone?" Emmett asks, shoving a whole piece of bread in his mouth.

"Nothing," Edward snaps.

Alice and Rose look at me and I just roll my eyes. We all continue to eat, everyone having small conversations to themselves.

"I'm sorry," Edward mutters so that only I can hear.

"It's ok," I say. "I know how it feels to be jealous," I say, smirking.

"I just can't imagine someone else touching you."

"Edward, he was just getting me water."

"His hand was on you."

I turn toward him more, "There are going to be men that are going to touch me, doesn't mean I want to fuck them."

He looks at me sternly. "Bella, you were blushing and looking down at your hands, he made you nervous."

I look at him dumfounded.

"I may have not known you your whole life Bella, but you're very easy to read. You wear your emotions on your sleeve. You were attracted to him."

"So!" I scream, making everyone look up at me. "You don't own me Edward, I AM allowed to be attracted to other men. I have to constantly deal with those fucking whores coming around you all the time. "

I throw my chair back, getting up from the table. I stalk back to the lobby, my brain in a state of frustrated anger.

_How can we go from being completely happy to…this?_

I hit the button on the elevator multiple times, hoping that it will hurry the fuck up. I glance over to the patio, and see Edward walking towards me. My heart begins to race rapidly. I divert my eyes back to the elevator doors, standing there with my arms crossed. Edward stands next to me, crossing his arms, almost mimicking me. We stand there in silence, waiting.

"What?" I snap.

"Can we talk about this?" he asks.

I turn to him, my arms still crossed. "What's there to talk about Edward? You clearly have trust issues."

He takes a step towards me, his cologne attacking my nose. _Not fair. _My body relaxes instantly.

"Bella, that day in the field, I told you I wasn't perfect. I told you that I had a past. I can't control my feelings for you. You are the first woman I have ever had _THESE _feelings for."

He continues. "I can't explain it, but I feel very protective of you. I don't want to share you with anyone else."

I sigh. "And you don't have to. I'm not interested in anyone else Edward. I STAYED, isn't that enough to tell you I want to be here, with you?"

He smiles as he opens his mouth, then immediately closes it. We are silent, until he speaks. "I'm such an asshole."

"No you're not. I'm flattered in a strange kind of way, and for the record, I don't want to share you either," I say, poking him in the chest.

He embraces me in a hug. His warmth overtakes my body.

"Excuse me," I hear someone say.

I suddenly realize we are blocking the opening to the elevators.

"Sorry ma'am," Edward says to the Stepford looking woman who is scowling at us.

We scoot over to the side, still in our hugging embrace. I lay my head on his chest, feeling it rhythmically rise and fall.

"Ummm," I begin. "Can we go eat the rest of breakfast now?" I say, realizing I'm still starving.

We make our way back to the table, everyone waiting for us to say something. I pick up my fork, stabbing a potato with it.

I place one in my mouth, it tasting incredibly good. "Yum!" I whisper, not looking at anyone.

After a few seconds everyone resumes their eating and chatting.

"Hey man, we going to head up to the lake house for the 4th?" Emmett asks, peaking my interest.

"Don't we always?" Edward says. "It's tradition."

"The lake house?" I inquire.

Edward turns to me, "Yeah, I own a house up in Lake Tahoe. We head out there every year for the 4th of July."

"It's fucking awesome!" Emmett says, sounding like a 5 year old.

"Sounds awesome," I say.

"It will be even better if your there," he whispers.

I finish everything on my plate, now feeling uncomfortably full. As I push my plate to the table, I catch a small gleam from my ring. I roll my hand back and forth, the sun bouncing off the diamonds. I do it a couple more times before I notice that Edward is watching me. I smile, and then slowly pull my hand back in my lap.

"So what's the plan for today?" Alice asks.

I look over at Edward.

"Emmett and I gotta head out here in a little bit, we gotta go run though some things."

"Really?" I ask.

"Yeah, but we should only be a couple hours. Have some time with the girls," he adds, looking up at Rose and Alice.

"That would be nice," I say smiling.

He starts to get up from the table, Emmett following. He leans down, kissing me on the head.

"But like I said, I get you alone tonight."

A nervous giggle escapes me. As they walk away, I can't help but stare at Edward's ass. When I peel my eyeballs away, my eyes lock with everyone else's.

"What the hell was that Bella?" Rose asks.

I look over at Jackson, silently asking him what the hell he is still doing here.

"Aren't you….going with them?" I ask.

"Nah," he says.

I still sit there and stare at him.

"I guess I'll go," he says, getting up.

"Bye Jackson!" Alice giggles.

As soon as he is out of eyesight Rose repeats her question.

"It was nothing. A simple misunderstanding," I say.

"Yeah, ok…" Rose adds sarcastically.

"So, are we gonna do something?" Alice says, seeming antsy.

"Yeah, what do you want to do?" I ask.

"Let's go to the beach!" she squeals, jumping up.

I smile, thinking the beach actually sounds really good right now.

"Ok, well let me go get my bathing suit," I say, getting up from the table.

When we make it back to the room, Emmett and Edward haven't left yet.

"Hey," I say as we walk into living room.

"Hey," Edward says. "What did you girls decide to do?"

"Were gonna head to the beach," I state.

"You're going to go to the beach without me?" He pouts.

"Yup," I laugh.

"Just when I was over being jealous, thinking about you in a bikini in front of a bunch of men isn't helping."

I roll my eyes at him. "Well I guess I'll have to find an all women's beach then."

"That would be great, thanks," he says.

"You are such a freak Masen," I say shaking my head.

He just gives me a smile, then leans in and gives me a kiss. "Be back later."

"OK," I say in a pouty tone. "Wait! How can we get to the beach?"

"You can take the Jag," Edward states.

I look at him confused.

"It's all taken care of, don't worry."

I just smile. I watch Edward and Emmett walk out the door, turning to Rose and Alice.

"Let me just go grab my bathing suit, I'll be right back."

I head into the bedroom, pulling my neatly folded bathing suit out of the dresser. I laugh to myself. I notice behind me that there are complimentary towels and a beach bag, so I grab those as well. As I make my way out to the living room, I see that Rose has two bottles of liquor in her hand.

I stare at here. "What the hell are you doing?"

"What does it look like? A little refreshments for the beach," she jiggles them. "Come on Bella, live a little."

I roll my eyes as she slides the bag from my shoulder. We make our way down to the lobby, the Jag already started and waiting for us.

_Do they have fucking spies or little cameras everywhere?_

"Let me drive," Rose says.

I burst out laughing. "Like that's gonna happen. Edward just about killed me when _I _was driving it. "

I slide into the driver's seat once again. When we make it out of Beverly Hills, we pass by tons of beaches, all of them slammed full of people.

I squint, looking out at the water. "Which one do you want to go to?" I ask, hoping someone would just answer.

"That one" Rose states, pointing off to the side.

I whip off the road, the Jag flying off to the right. I scan the parking lot, and see a spot right up front. I gun it, pulling into the spot so fast I make the tires squeal. I put it in park and climb from the car, now noticing that a few people are staring at me. I can feel myself blushing. I turn around as Alice and Rose climb out from the car. I hold out the keyfob in my hand, locking the doors. The car makes a loud chrip, creating even more attention.

_Great. _

As we make our way to the beach, we are stopped by a couple of young men. I'm not sure which they're ogling more, us or the car.

"That's a sweet ride you have there," one of them says, standing a little too close for my liking.

"Thanks," I mutter as I start to walk away.

As I walk toward the water, I notice that I am alone. I whip around, seeing that Rose and Alice are still with the group of guys. I slowly make my way back over, pulling on Alice's arm.

"We came here for the BEACH, remember?" I say, tugging her with me.

Alice and I walk arm in arm, the grittiness of the sand swishing between my toes. I look out to the water, noticing a long pier jutting out from the shoreline. We make it to a flat, un crowded part of the beach and I plop the bag down, the bottles clinking in the process. I pull out the large hotel towel, smoothing it out, and then sit down. Alice does the same, except she now has all her clothes off, revealing her extremely tiny bikini. I lay back on the towel, my Ray Bans doing a good job of blocking out the rays.

"Bella, aren't you even going to take off your shirt?" she asks.

I grumble, pulling my shirt off.

"You really need to get your belly button pierced. Edward would love it."

"And how do you know what Edward would like?"

"He does have dick right?" she perks.

"Did the word dick just come out of your mouth?" I gasp.

"I'm not as innocent as you think I am Bella," she says looking off in another direction.

"I'm starting to gather that," I laugh.

"So what's going on with you and Jackson?" I say, trying to get to the bottom of it.

She lets out a big sigh. "I don't know, every time I'm around him I feel so drawn to him, but he doesn't even open up. He always just looks at me like I'm crazy."

"Alice, you can be a little intense sometimes, maybe you need to learn to chill out around him."

"But that's the thing Bella, when I'm with him, I am calm. Something about him makes me relax. I can't explain it."

_But didn't Jackson say she acts nuts around him?_

"You like him don't you?" I ask quietly.

She turns to me, "I can't explain it."

"Sneaks up on you huh?" I smile.

She just gives me a large grin in return. I lean up, wrapping my arms around her.

"You know Edward and I weren't actually having sex this morning right?" I laugh. "I was just trying to get you back for that day at Tanya's"

"I figured that out after a while Bella, you were much too loud. You were never that vocal with Mike."

"That because Mike had the tiniest dick ever, I don't even know how he popped my cherry with that thing."

Alice and I start to laugh, when we see Rose walk up.

"What are you two bitches giggling about?" she asks with a smirk on her face.

"Mike's tiny dick," I laugh, but I instantly stop when I see the group of boys trailing behind her.

She leans down, pulling out the vodka bottle. She then pulls out a few shot glasses.

_Did she pack the whole god damn bar?_

She begins to unscrew the cap, pouring a shot for each of us. She hands one to me and one to Alice. The boys take the bottle, pouring some into the red cups they are already holding. I look away, downing the shot in one gulp, pouring myself another.

_Maybe I can drink myself out of this situation. _

Somewhere between a bottle of vodka and halfway through the bottle of whiskey, I find myself playing volleyball with Rose, Alice and a slew of boys. Well, I wouldn't really call it _playing,_ more like standing there whacking the ball whenever it comes near me, not necessarily in the direction it's supposed to. I am definitely feeling effects of the alcohol in my system. I can see the ball heading towards me, so I ready myself.

_You got this B. _

I jump up to spike it, but I feel something slam into me and I fall backwards, my head hitting hard against the sand.

"Dude, are you ok?" one of the boys says leaning over me.

I realize that he is extremely close; I can feel his breath on my face, it reeks of alcohol.

"I….I…" I stutter, kind of freaked out by the close proximity.

I hear a faint sound coming from my bag, my subconscious registering that it's my cellphone.

"Uh, can you get off me," I sputter out, scrambling to my feet, not so gracefully I might add.

I reach in, digging it out. I look at the screen. Edward.

_How does he KNOW?_

I slide my finger over the answer button, but have to do it multiple times for it to pick up.

_Damn iPhones. Actually, damn booze. _

"EDWAAARRRRRDDDD," I scream into the phone, "Whatcha doing?"

"Well I was hoping to come back to the hotel and see my beautiful girl here. Where are you?"

"We're at the beach," I say giggling.

"Bella, have you been drinking?"

I gasp. "No. Never."

"Where are you?" he asks again.

"AT. THE. BEACH," I say, pausing in between each word.

"Belllaaa! Get off the phone," Rose screams from waterside.

"I gotta go now," I say, pulling my phone from my ear.

"BELLA!" I hear him scream.

"What?" I say just above a whisper.

"Jesus fucking Christ," I hear him mutter. "Tell me what you see around you," he says.

_Oooh a game!_

I perk up, "I see water."

"And?"

I look down, "And sand."

"And?"

"A pier!" I giggle.

_This game is funny. Wait, everything seems funny…. Except that guy with the bad alcohol breath. _

I hear him laugh into the phone.

"Do you want me to come back? We could pick up where we left off this afternoooooon…"

"NO!" he shouts into the phone. "For the love of God, do not get in the Jag. I'll be right over to pick you up."

"Okay…" I speak into the phone, hearing a click on the other end.

I slip my phone back into the bag and I bolt up from my chair, and run straight towards Rose, knocking her over in the process.

"Bella, what the hell are you doing?"

"I just love you so much Edward."

"What the hell? I am not Edward, get off of me," she says, pushing me off of her so that I am now lying flat on my back. I lay there, not really knowing if I can get up. I stare up at the sun, watching the clouds and birds pass by. After an unknown amount of time, I see a shadow appear in my eyeline.

"Bella, what are you doing?" I hear it say.

I look up to see a beautiful man standing over me.

"Edward!" I say, continuing to lay on the ground.

I reach my arms up. Edward grabs a hold of them, lifting me up as though I am as light as a feather.

My head starts to spin. "Woah."

"Don't worry I gotcha ya," he says smiling.

I now notice that his hands are wrapped around me. I look up into his eyes, thinking he looks even more gorgeous than I have ever noticed.

"I leave you alone for a couple hours and you get drunk without me?" he says.

I wrap my arms around him, placing my lips on his.

"Mmmm…whiskey. My favorite." He smiles.

I look past Edward, now noticing that both Emmett and Jackson came with him. I remove myself from Edward's arms, making my way over to them. I throw myself into Emmett, giving him a bear hug.

"Hey there Bella Bee, ya a little drunk?" I hear Emmett say.

I lean back, holding up my thumb and index finger slightly apart from each other.

He just laughs. "Nice to see someone's having fun."

I pull myself from his arms, and then go to give Jackson a hug.

"Oh god, she's one of THOSE drunks," I hear him say.

"I am not drunk!" I scream.

I feel someone tug on the back of my shirt, pulling me backwards and before I know it, I am back in Edward's arms.

"You ready to go?" he asks.

"I wanna go wherever you want to go," I breathe out.

I stand there as Edward starts to pack up our stuff and then comes back to grab me.

"You guys alright?" he asks the boys.

"Yeah man, were JUST fine," Emmett says, looking over at Rose.

Edward throws the bag over his shoulder, and then links his arm with mine. When we make it to the car, he opens the door for me and I stumble in, not so gracefully. Then Edward jumps into the driver's seat and pulls out of the parking lot, speeding in the process. I sit back in my seat, running my hands along the leather of the seat. Then the leather of the arm rest. Then Edward's arm. Edward's leg. Edward's neck.

I lean over, sliding my hand in between his legs. He shifts, and then puts his hand on mine.

"Bella. No," he says looking over at me.

I give my best pouty look.

"No," he whispers.

I cross my arms, pulling my feet up in to my chest. When we make it back to the room, Edward turns to me, giving me a kiss.

"Looks like we are going to have to stay in tonight," he states.

"NO!" I say. "I'm sobering up, I promise." I shake, I guess thinking I could shake the alcohol out of me. "Just let me take a shower."

Edward smiles, pulling out his phone, and dialing a number.

"Hello. This is Edward Masen. I need to change my reservations."

He pauses.

"Yes, 9 would be great. Thanks." He puts his phone down. "Let's get you undressed," he says, taking off my shirt. He then reaches down, unbuttoning my shorts. I can feel my breathing becoming faster and faster, his simple touches sending electric waves through my body. I stand up on my tippy toes, softly putting my lips on his.

He smiles, "Go get in the shower, so we can get going."

"You don't want to join me?" I pout.

"We wouldn't be going anywhere soon if I did that, plus I already took one," he smirks.

"Fine," I say, trying to act hurt.

As I turn around to head to the bathroom, Edward smacks my ass, making me squeal. I walk over to the shower slowly, turning on the water on. After a few minutes, I climb in, turning on the cold water, hoping to sober up some more. I quickly wash my hair, scrubbing the mass amounts of sand out of it. I can slowly feel the effects of the liquor wearing off, a pounding headache in its place. After a few minutes, there's movement in the bathroom and Edward is standing in front of the large vanity. In all black. I wipe the water away from the shower door, trying to peer out. I scan my eyes up and down his body. He's wearing tight black jeans, a black button up shit, and black cowboy boots. I continue to stare, until Edward's eyes meet mine in the mirror. I flip back around, shutting off the water. When I open the door Edward is stand there, holding a towel open for me. I step out onto the fluffy bath mat as he wraps it around me, holding me tight.

"How ya feeling?" he asks with a smile of his face.

"Better. But I have a screaming headache."

"Do you want to stay in tonight? We can order room service," he whispers.

"And not get to wear that fuckawesome dress you bought me? No way."

He lets go of the towel, wrapping it underneath my armpits. I make my way into the bedroom, but turn back to Edward in the process.

"You look fucking hot by the way," I say smiling.

"Thank you ma'am," he responds, a wide grin on his face.

I walk over to the closet, pulling out the gorgeous black dress. I drop my towel ever so slowly, noticing that Edward is now leaning again the door jam in between the bathroom and the bedroom. I pull on a small black thong, but opt out of a bra, realizing I don't have a strapless one. I walk back over to the dress, taking it off the hanger and stepping into it. As I pull it up my body, I feel Edward's fingers on my back, working the zipper up slowly. When he gets it up he pulls my hair to the side, placing a kiss on my neck.

_Maybe we SHOULD stay in._

I turn to him, "Just give me ten minutes and I'll be ready to go."

I run into the bathroom, putting on minimal makeup and spray curl enhancer in my hair, letting it dry naturally. I pull three Advil from my makeup bag, and lean down to the faucet, gulping them down. I stand back, looking at myself in the mirror. The dress fits perfectly, hugging my every curve.

_How did he even know what size I am?_

When I make it back out to the bedroom, Edward is pulling on a black dress jacket, only adding to how fuckhawt he already looks. I make my way over to the closet again, pulling out the same black heels I wore on our first date.

_Reminder: Get more come-fuck-me heels._

When I pull them on I just stand there.

"Jesus Christ Bella," he breathes out.

He makes his way over to me, lifting my chin up so I look up into his eyes.

"You look beautiful."

"Thank you," I blush.

"You ready?"

"Yes."

We make our way out of the hotel, climbing into the Jag.

"So where we going?" I ask.

"Mastro's Steakhouse," he states. "Best steak in LA."

"Been there before?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah, I go there every time I'm in LA."

I look down at my hands. "Take all your dates there too?"

He looks over at me, "Bella, there is only one other person I have ever taken here…and that is Emmett, talk about a shitty date. He orders half a cow and sticks me with the bill. "

I can't help but smile.

When we pull up to the place, I see the reason for the dress. This place is breathtaking. Before I know it my door is being opened for me, an unfamiliar hand being held out. I take it, sliding out of the Jag, desperately trying to not flash my cooter. It's actually extremely hard; no wonder celebrities do it all the time. I make my way around the car, sliding my arm into Edward's. He hands the key to the valet and we make our way inside.

The interior of the restaurant is even more fabulous than the outside. It's dark and elegant. Every table is lined with a crisp white cloth, cream colored chairs surrounding them. I instantly become nervous, feeling like I don't fit in here at all.

We walk up to the hostess, "Masen," Edward tells her.

"Welcome back Mr. Masen," she responds.

_I'm secretly starting to hate hostesses._

I notice there is a beautiful winding staircase behind her.

"If you will follow me," she says, coming out from around the podium, heading up the stairs.

_Oh shit. I have to climb THAT in THESE heels?_

Edward ushers me to go out in front of him. I take a step up, amazed that I haven't tripped. When I make it to the top, I do a fist pump in my head. When we are seated, I open the menu, becoming incredibly confused instantly. There are no prices anywhere on the menu. I know what that means….expensive.

"Edward, there's no prices."

"So," he states.

"This place is expensive."

He sighs. "Bella, when it comes to you nothing is too expensive. I have plenty of money and nothing brings me greater joy than to spend it on you."

"But I have nothing to give to you in return."

"You give me everything just by breathing."

I shake my head, "You're too smooth for your own good Masen."

He just gives me a huge smile, "I know." He then places his face back in his menu.

_Cocky bastard._

I'm relieved to see that we have a male waiter, who is bald and is about 50 years old, so I know that Edward is happy too. First he takes our drink order, Edward going for whiskey on the rocks. I just stick to ice water. Luckily, the alcohol has almost filtered out of my system. When our food arrives, I realize how hungry I am, eating fast.

"Do you like it?" Edward asks, almost mocking me.

"It's fucking delicious," I whisper.

We spend dinner just talking, telling him about my time at the beach, well…what I remember from it anyways. I made sure to leave out the group of boys. I told him about the alcohol, which honestly I thought he would flip, but he didn't seem to mind.

We finish our meals, Edward asking me if I want dessert.

"I think I'll pass. I can have my dessert back at the hotel," I grin, looking up at the waiter, not Edward.

I can see Edward shift in his chair out of the corner of my eye. When the bill comes, I try to sneak a look at it, but Edward holds it close to him, out of my eyeline.

_Damnit._

We make our way out of the restaurant, Edward hands the valet his ticket, along with a large tip. The ride back to the hotel seems to take forever, and I contemplate straddling him right here multiple times, but decide I can wait. For now. When we make it make to the hotel, the lobby is dark and quiet; I hear nothing but my heels clicking against the tile.

"Thank you so much for everything Edward."

"It's my pleasure Isabella," he says, kissing my forehead.

When we make it up to the room, I walk immediately into the bedroom. Without words Edward follows, then slowly unzips my dress and lets it fall to the ground.

"I can't explain what you do to me," he breathes. "I can't seem to keep my hands off of you."

"Then don't," I say in a low voice, walking backward, they leaning back onto the bed.

We spend the rest of the night wrapped up in each other, him sending me over my orgasmic edge multiple times. As I lay enjoying my afterglow, I realize that I've never been happier than I am in his arms. I never want to leave them. I don't know how I am going to survive Seattle without him.


	15. Chapter 15 Amazed By You

**Hello all my lovely readers!**

**First off I want to say thank you to all still reading! Love you MUCHO!**

**A huge shoutout to my beta..you are an amazing woman! **

**A certain scene from this chapter is dedicated to FoxyBaker! Love you my baker buddy! **

**Just a little warning that PL is going to jump a little in the next couple chapters, and warning...hold on tight :) **

**Oh and Perfectly Lonley is up for MANY nominations in the Sunflower Awards, voting starts in May. AND my awesome beta TwoPeas1Pod is up for best beta award. She is the main reason I update so often! .com/  
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**Thanks again, and please review!**

**Xoxox. **

* * *

**EPOV**

I never thought having a crazy and sometimes infuriating, girlfriend could bring me such joy. My life had been such a fucking disaster until Bella walked into my life. I thought the adrenaline from bull riding couldn't be topped, but it doesn't come close to being with Bella. I can't explain what she does to me, but my body craves her like a heroin addict needs a fix. Her touch, her smell, her laugh, and the way she pushes every one of my fucking buttons, all of it sends me into a frenzy. Having her traveling with me for my rides has been fucking fantastic. And not having to share a room with Emmett and Jackson is also a huge fucking plus.

Somehow once we left LA, Rose and Alice ended up back in Nevada. As the gentleman that I am I offered for them to stay at my house, but thankfully they declined. I don't think my dick could take that level of cockblocking. Thankfully the 4th of July weekend is finally upon us and with it the much anticipated trip to to my summer house. I really wish I could make it out here more often, but naturally, I never have enough time.

I grab my Stetson off the hook, pulling it on as I throw the last bag into the bed of the Raptor. My girl is sitting in the passenger seat looking absolutely breathtaking as usual. I run back into the house, grabbing a bag off the counter. When I make it back outside, I do one last check on the boat, hitched to the back of the truck. Pulling the driver's door open I slide in, handing Bella the bag. She takes it out of my hand, pulling out a cowboy hat. It's one of those fufu girly ones made out of whicker or some shit. She holds it in her hand, then smiles and slides it on. My dick automatically twitches.

I set the truck in drive, and we set off. I can feel the truck lag a little bit, the bed completely full to the brim with shit. I tell you what, traveling with a bunch of fucking women makes things a lot more interesting. Emmett, Jackson and I have been coming here every year, usually packing nothing but a change of clothes and an ice chest full of beer, but with women it is a whole different story. Taking the girls grocery shopping was the first big fucking mistake. Giving Bella my card as I waited in the car was mistake number two. When I saw them coming out of the store I knew my American Express had be assaulted .

Right now there are four ice chests and about 5 bags of luggage in the bed of the truck.

_Women_.

I pull out of the driveway, making our way to the lake house. After about an hour of monotonous driving we finally pull into the driveway, my eyes shifting between the road and Bella in the seat next to me.

"Holy shit," Bella shifts, sliding forward in her seat, peering out the window. "THIS is your little vacation home?"

"Yup," I state, putting the truck in park.

As I pull myself from the truck, I notice both Jackson and Emmett have pulled up in their respective trucks. I see Emmett walk up to Bella, giving her a big hug.

"Happy 4th of July Bella," he says, wrapping his huge arms around her.

I walk behind them, pulling Bella out of his grasp.

"Don't you have your own woman to hug on Emmett?" I nod in the direction of Rosalie.

"Rose ain't the hugging type," he laughs.

I make my way towards the house, flicking on all the lights. To be honest, this isn't my house. It's my family's, but I'm the only one who uses it anymore. My father stopped coming here after my mother died. Sometimes I don't feel like coming here either... But 4th of July is tradition and you don't try to talk Emmett out of tradition. I spend the next hour pulling everything from the truck, making sure everything is put away where it should be. When I finish, I see Bella bounce into the kitchen.

"Need any help?" she says, pulling off her sunglasses.

I laugh. "You're about an hour late."

"Oh…sorry Edward. You should have come and gotten me. We were out on the porch."

"It's fine Bella. I'm glad you're enjoying yourself."

She smiles. "I am very much. So what's the plan for today?"

"Think we're going to head out on the lake pretty soon. Then at sundown…fireworks."

"I love fireworks!" Bella squeals . "The girls and I usually watch them from our patio in Seattle."

I look down at the counter. "Do you miss home?"

She walks over to me, putting her hand on top of mine.

"I'm exactly where I want to be Edward."

I look up and stare into her eyes.

"As am I."

I lean in; giving her a small kiss on the lips, but that isn't enough. I wrap my arms around her, letting my fingers fall on the small of her back. Pulling her into me, her tiny frame gets lost next to mine. Her soft lips, but her touch sends shock waves through me. Breathing becomes hard for me, and I really can't explain what she does to me. I wrap my hands around her small ass, grabbing her cheeks, lifting her high in the air. Without missing a beat, Bella wraps her legs around my waist, our two centers meeting. My cock quickly becomes incredibly hard and I grind it into Bella, knowing she can feel it as well. Bella lips pull from mine, and that angers me. I place my lips on her cheek, her forehead, making my way to her neck. I trail my tongue around its every inch, and then something compels me to bite down lightly. Much to my surprise, I hear a moan escape Bella's lips. I pull my lips from Bella's neck, continuing down her exposed collar bone.

"Bella," I start in a raspy voice. "I can't stop touching you."

"Then don't," she breathes out.

I place her back down on the ground, but clasp my hand in her's and quickly lead her to the master bedroom. As soon as we reach it, I slam the door shut, and making sure I lock it. All we would need is the four stooges to come barreling in.

As I turn around to face Bella, her brown eyes meet mine. She is already lying on the bed, running her hands along the fabric of the comforter. Her body is propped up by here elbows. There are no words to explain what this small, gorgeous woman does to me. I slowly make my way over to the bed, much like a hunter stalking its prey. When I reach the bed, I place one knee on top of it, slowly sliding my body onto of hers. I press my hips into her, she immediately pushes back. For some reason I am nervous, like it's my first time with Bella. Something about her has changed me, and the thought of losing her kills me. I reach up with my shaky hand, my fingers finding the soft flesh of Bella's stomach. I can immediately feel her body tense. I run the tips of my fingers across the seam of her jeans, instinctively making her hips rise. I take this as an invitation to start unbuttoning her jeans. Bella's hands come down, pushing them off of her hips. I continue to pull them down, letting them fall to the ground. I look up the length of Bella's never ending legs, her skin a creamy white. I continue north, taking in as much as her as I can. I run my fingers along the inside of her thigh, a soft moan leaving her. I place a kiss on her belly button, then reach up and remove her shirt, then her bra. She is now lying underneath me naked, literally taking my breath away.

My words mirror my thoughts. "Fuck Bella, you are breathtaking."

She smiles, making my dick pulsate hard against the fly of my jeans. I feel her tiny fingers find the buttons of my shirt, working each one open slowly. She then reaches down, working each button of my jeans off.

_Bad day to wear button fly jeans._

As soon as we are both naked, I can't take not being inside her one second longer.

"Bella, I need to feel you," I whisper in her ear.

As soon as these words leave my mouth, I feel Bella legs spread.

_Fuck me. _

I reach down sliding myself inside of her. Her warmth surrounds my cock. This is my favorite fucking place to be. As I slide into her I let out a loud moan, her walls always so tight, no matter how many times we've had sex. I pump my cock into her, forcing myself to move slow , even though I want nothing more that to slam into her as hard as humanly possible. With every thrust I can feel my dick loosening her, but her walls still very much grip around my girth.

"Holy shit Edward," Bella breathes out, biting her lip in the process.

I want nothing more that to bite that lip right back. Without stopping my fuckawesome pumping, I lean down, tracing my tongue in small circles around her perky nipples. I hear a muted squeal come from her as I bite down lightly on each of them. I pull my mouth back from her tits, both of her nipples now standing erect. I can see goosebumps trailing over her chest and down her stomach.

"Are you cold Bella?" I ask. "You have goosebumps."

"There are other kinds of goosebumps Edward."

Knowing how much I turn her on sends a surge of energy through my body and I can't take the slow pace anymore. I grab onto her hips, thrusting my now rock hard cock into her as fast as my body will allow. After a few minutes I start to feel the burn in legs, but fucking ignore it. After a few more thrusts, I feel Bella's hand on my chest, essentially stopping me.

"Everything ok baby?" I say.

She smiles, "Everything is fucking great. But lay on your back," she says, now pushing me off of her.

I slide out of her, pulling myself off from on top of her. I flip around so my back in now on the bed, my cock still at attention. Bella is now standing on the bed; the view from down here is fucking fantastic. A small smile spreads across her face, and she turns around, lowering herself slowly. I think I fucking gasp like a girl. She lines her opening up with my cock, slowly sliding onto it. I sit there with my mouth hanging open, not believing what I am seeing. Bella is riding me reverse cowgirl. She starts to rock her hips back and forth, the new position sending intense waves of pleasure through me. I think I am going to come right then and there.

I grab onto her hips, "Bella, stop," I say through gritted teeth.

"It doesn't feel good?" she says looking over her shoulder.

"It feels fucking fantastic," I breathe out, still trying to avert my orgasm.

After the intense feeling subsides a little, I let go of her hips, silently telling her to continue. She starts to grind into me more, picking up her pace with every thrust. Seeing her from behind is absolutely breathtaking, her long brown hair flowing down her backside. I reach up, gathering her hair in my hand, pulling on it.

"Fuck!" she screams out, but not in pain, in pleasure.

I grab onto her hips hard, thrusting myself into her in the same rhythm as she using to sways her hips. After a few more pumps I can feel her legs shutter, a clear sign that she is about to come. I prop myself up so that my chest is now up against Bella's back, reaching around and finding her clit, rubbing it rapidly.

Bella's head drops, and I hear her scream out, "Holy fucking shit."

Her legs are now shaking violently, and Bella begins screaming out loud, her orgasm rolling through her while it squeezes even tighter against my cock. After a few seconds I feel her relax a little, but she still continues to rock her hips. After another minute, I can't hold on anymore and I clench my fingers onto Bella's hips, lifting her in the air and off of me.

Last thing I need right now is a child. I reach over to grab my shirt, placing it over the tip of my dick. I come into it hard, my orgasm taking every last ounce of energy I had. I wipe of the excess with the other end of the shirt, throwing it into the hamper in the corner. Bella leans back, lying in the crook of my armpit. We are both silent, both now exhausted from our orgasms.

"Jesus Christ Bella…" I stutter out. "I thought you didn't have any experience with THAT type of stuff."

I can see her smile, "I've been reading."

"Well I can assure you that _I _have never been ridden like that. "

"Was is ok?" she asks as a small hint of pink reaches her lips.

I lean over so that I am looking down at her. "It was fucking incredible. The view of you from behind is ALMOST as good as the front."

She laughs, and then leans up to kiss me. I hear some noise coming from the rest of the house.

"Do we really have to go out there?" I grumble.

"No, but I really don't want to miss the fireworks," she says, bouncing out of the bed.

"Bella, we have three hours at least," I say, patting the bed next to me.

Bella stands there, and then crosses her legs. I swear sometimes she reminds me of Charlotte, so child like.

"I REALLY have to pee," she says, then bolts for the bathroom.

I shake my head, pulling myself off of the bed. Walking over to the closet, I pull out a new pair of Wranglers and a checkered button up shirt. Before I pull them on, Bella comes out of the bathroom, her hair now tied up in a loose ponytail. My hands become twitchy, wanting to pull on it so bad.

The thought alone makes my member come awake again. Within seconds I am hard again. Bella walks over to the nightstand, pulling my white Stetson off of it.

_Baby ready for Round 2?_

She walks over to me, and slides it onto my still hard dick. A small giggle escapes her lips

"Look it's a magic trick," she says laughing.

I shake my head, but instead of taking it off I walk around with it on as I put on my new set of clothes. When I get my shirt back on, I pull my pants on, trying really hard not to knock it off.

_It's all about pride baby. _

"Wow Edward, maybe you should join the circus…" she says giggling.

When I get them on, I walk up close to Bella, sliding it off my dick, and then glide it onto my head. I stand there for a few seconds, and then tip the brim of it.

"Thank you ma'am," I say in the thickest drawl, then zip up my pants and head out the door.

As I make it down my hallway, I realize that there are a fuck ton of people in my house. Much more than the four that were here when I WENT into the room. I make my way to the back porch, finding Emmett.

"Hey man I invited a few people over," he states while looking around, almost a confused as I am. "Guess they told a few people," he laughs lightly.

"It's all right man, but if shit gets broken it on you," I state.

"You get a little action?" he says, lifting his eyebrows up and down.

I look over at him, giving him a _yes I fucking did look._

"Alright man," he says, slapping me on the back. "You know you are much less of an asshole since Bella Bee has been around."

"Fuck you," I spit back, but not able to hold a laugh back.

"She's good for you man. Glad you found someone who puts up with your shit."

"She's fucking incredible man. I can't explain it."

I feel a lump form in my throat, realizing that I never thought I would be saying these words. Especially to Emmett.

"I love her man."

Emmett chokes on the sip of beer he is currently attempting to swallow.

"Fuck man, seriously?"

I say nothing in return. I can't explain it. Is it too soon?

_It's definitely too soon. _

"That's fucking awesome man! Dude I was seriously starting to think you were gonna go through every woman in the fucking state before you found THE ONE," he says, even using girly air quotes.

"It's too soon…" I breathe out. "What if she freaks out and leaves?"

"Man, that AINT happening. Have you seen the way she looks at you?"

I look over at Emmett, is he getting soft?

"Like she wants to fuck your man meat all night long!" he shouts, getting the attention of the people around us.

I laugh nervously, taking a large gulp of the beer that has somehow made it into my hand. I look up, seeing Bella entering onto the porch. She is wearing her jeans, with one of _my_ shirts and I know she has nothing underneath it because she has the bottom of it tied, her stomach showing. I can't tell if I am turned on or pissed off, as it's sexy as hell, but at the same time multiple men have now turned their attention to her.

"Calm down man," Jackson says coming up from behind me, scaring the shit out of me.

"Fuck man, don't be so silent and shit," I say, taking another sip of my beer. "I hate how other men stare at her like she's a piece of fucking meat."

"She banging man," he states, and in return he gets the fucking death stare.

He rolls his eyes. "Men are going to look at her Edward, but think about what she has to go through with women constantly vying for your attention."

I look back at her, our eyes meeting. I give her a wink and she smiles in return and then diverts her attention back to Rose and Alice.

"Fuck if I could change my past, I would in a fucking heartbeat," I state.

"Rough and Ready Edward was a fucking blast, but man you can't live your life like that anymore," Emmett adds.

"Were definitely not 17 anymore," I say, all of us laughing.

"Speak for yourself," Emmett says, pushing me in the arm.

There is a few seconds of silence, until Emmett opens his big fat mouth again.

"Speaking of men staring at her, what the hell are you going to do about Jake? That dude has gone fucking nuts."

I can instantly feel my blood begin to boil. Really wish that fucker would fall of the face of the earth.

"All I can say is he better stay away from her if he knows what's good for him."

"Dude, I don't think it sinks into him. He's like a little boy with a new toy," Emmett says.

"Just like he was with Victoria?" I snap.

Emmett and Jackson don't press the issue further, knowing I have a short fuse when it comes to him. A really fucking short one. After a few more minutes, I leave Emmett and Jackson, making my way over to the where Bella is. She is surrounded by a ton of fucking people.

_My baby, always the center of attention. _

I make my way through the crowd, a large smile spreading across her face.

"Hey," she whispers.

"Hello beautiful," I say, kissing her on the forehead. "Are you having a good time?"

"I am…" she states as she looks up at me.

I pull Bella away from the crowd, and we both sit down on the swing at the far corner of the porch I really wish we were alone.

_Reminder: Don't invite friends over. Ever again.. _

Bella and I spent some time on the swing, not saying much other than the random comment or observation. As the sun begins to set, I notice that people are starting to filter away from the house.

I get up from the swing, holding my hand out to her.

"Come take a walk with me."

She reaches up, taking her hand in mine. We walk down off the porch and make our way onto the sandy shores of the lake. There are a ton of people on this beach, it's clearly not a secret that this is the best place to see the fireworks. I find an open spot and sit down. I pull my legs apart as Bella sits in between them, leaning her back on my chest. Wrapping my arms around her, we sit and wait in silence. I place my lips on the back of Bella's head, inhaling her heavenly sent. She is now running her fingers up and down my arm and hand, the feeling absolutely sensational.

_I have to tell her. _

I go to open my mouth, and that's when I see a bright light in the sky, followed by a loud boom, the sound rattling through my bones. Bella removes her back from my chest, leaning forward with her neck craned to look at the sky. The fireworks rip through the blackness, the sound extremely intense. But I can't seem to make myself look up; all I can look at is the beautiful girl currently sitting between my legs.

As the show continues on, I begin to feel incredibly nervous, my stomach feeling queasy.

_It's now or never. _

I scoot closer to her, so that my ear is right up against her ear. My heart feeling like it' is going to break out of my chest. The adrenaline buzzing through my body doesn't even touch what I feel when ridding bulls.

"I love you," I whisper into her ear, not so patiently waiting her response.

She whips around, but her response is not what I expected. There is a loud boom again, it making her jump.

She screams out to me…"WHAT? I DIDN'T HEAR YOU."

_Fuck me._

I pull her closer to me, knowing I'm going to have to be louder.

"Bella, I love you!" I scream, and then notice that there are no fireworks in the sky, the beach completely silent, with the surrounding people are now staring at Bella and me. I shift my eyes back to Bella, who is staring back at me with her eyes wide.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

I can't seem to move. A few seconds later Bella leaps ointo me, knocking me backwards, her lips slamming into mine. The passion running through her sends me into a wild frenzy. I grab every inch of her as she wraps her legs around my waist. She then pulls her lips from mine.

"I love you too Edward," she states, her hands still knotted in my hair.

At that moment, I know I can't live without her. She is the missing piece I have been looking for. The person I was looking for in all those women. She the first woman I've let myself really love since the day I walked into my mother's kitchen and realized I'd lost her. She finally broke through all the walls I'd built up around my heart that day. I breathe a sigh of relief, placing my lips back on Bella's. I feel free, from chains I didn't even know I was carrying. I can't help but laugh, realizing that we are still surrounded by a ton of people.

"Calm down tiger," I laugh, holding Bella against my chest.

She stops, the beautiful blush creeping up her cheeks. I lean up, giving her one more soft kiss on the lips. The rest of the fireworks light up the sky, the grand finale continuing on for a few minutes, until everything grows silent again. Everyone around us starts to get up, including Bella, but I grab her hand, pulling her back down.

She laughs, "I think you got sand down my pants."

"Well I guess we'll just have to take a shower together," I say smirking. "Or I can lick it off you. Real, real slowly."

"Oh damn," she retorts.

I slowly get up from the ground, my legs and arms cracking.

_I need a new fucking body. _

When we make it back to the house, I am happy to see that it's only the six of us. Alice is sitting on the couch, playing with her cell phone. Jackson is on the floor, reading a book. I look to my right, Emmett and Rosalie on the loveseat, her head on his shoulder. I look at Emmett, and he instantly winks at me. I can't help but laugh. I plop down on the couch, Bella following. I put my arm around her, and I look around the room again, not able to hold back a smile.

_I do have a family. _

**BPOV**

Holy shit. Did Edward just tell me he loved me, and _I _told him in return? Yes. Yes I did.

I seriously thought those words were never going to come out of my mouth, well when they pertain to a man anyways. I always thought I would stutter, or even pass out, but it came out so easily. I don't think I have been this happy…ever. I always thought love at first sight was poetic bullshit, but I think I've definitely had a change of heart.

After the fireworks show Edward and I spent some time with the gang, then retired to the bedroom, both of us beyond exhausted. By the time we wake up, it's late in the morning, half the day already gone...

I shake Edward, "fuck...it's already noon."

"And your point is?" he mumbles.

"Aren't we leaving today?"

"Yeah, but I'm not planning on leaving here until I see you in a bathing suit," he smiles with his eyes still closed.

"Well we ARE going to have to get out of bed for that to happen."

I pull myself from the bed, smacking Edward in the ass on the way to the bathroom. As I sit on the toilet I can taste my incredibly bad morning breath so I jump up, brushing them quickly. I walk back into the bedroom,

"Gonna go eat something, get your lazy ass outta bed."

I pull open the door, Emmett and Jackson are sitting at the breakfast bar, both of them eating silently, until they see me.

"Morning Bella Bee!" Emmett announces.

"Dude," Jackson says, smacking Emmett on the arm. "No fucking yelling."

I walk over to the kitchen counter, so that I am now facing them.

"Little too much to drink there Jackson?" I joke.

He gives me a death stare.

I laugh, shaking my head. "Coffee?" I ask Emmett.

"In the corner, mugs in the top cabinet."

I walk over to the cabinet, pulling it open. I pour some coffee into the mug, smelling the aroma, hoping it will make me wake up faster. I walk out of the kitchen, leaving the boys to resume their eating. The house is two stories, and I get the sudden urge to investigate. There are three bedrooms upstairs. I walk up to the first door, looking behind me to see if anyone is around. When the coast is clear, I slowly open the door, the room is extremely dark. The blinds are drawn tight and I feel around on the wall for the light switch. When I flick it on, I get an eerie feeling down my spine. The room is immaculate but dusty, a sign that this room hasn't been inhabited in quite some time. In the middle of the room is a massive four post bed, adorned with a floral comforter. I walk in slowly, taking a sip of my coffee in the process. I walk the length of the room, not touching, but just looking. I make my way over to a small armoire, and peek inside. There are a dozen photo frames in it, along with a few trinkets. As I scan my eyes from top to bottom, I see a few family pictures. I squint to look closer at one, recognizing a younger Peter in one of them, his arm around Edward's mother and he is placing a kiss on her cheek. They both look so happy. I run my hands over the small trinkets that include two bronze baby shoes. I set my coffee mug down on the nearby shelf. I hold it in my hand, it's no bigger than the size of my palm. I flip it over, noticing that "Edward 9-20-87" inscribed on the bottom. I gently place it back on the shelf. I look at the rest of the pictures, various shots of Edward and Victoria at different ages. My heart begins to ache a little, all of them looking so happy.

_How things can change so drastically. _

I turn around and my heart lurches as I notice Edward is leaning in the open doorway.

"I'm sorry, I'm usually not such a snoop."

He smiles, and then pushes himself off the door jam, making his way to me.

"I haven't been in this room in forever. My father use to forbid us from coming in here."

"Do you think he will ever get over it?" I ask.

"I highly doubt it. The wall he's been building around his heart since her death is sealed up tight. I don't think there is anything that could break it. My mother would be so disappointed in him. I'm pretty sure he doesn't even love Victoria and me anymore."

"I'm sure that's not true Edward. He's your father, of course he loves you."

He laughs. "He sure does have a funny way of showing it."

"Well who cares about him, you have my love now."

A huge smile comes across his face. "Say it again."

I laugh in return. "I love you Edward."

He reaches down scooping me up. "You have no idea how happy that makes me. I for sure thought you were going to bolt. I've actually been trying to say it for a while now."

"You have? When?" I ask, shocked.

He smiles. "Yeah, well first time was the night of the washing machine fiasco. And the second was just last weekend when you were mad at me for being jealous." He pauses, "By the way, you are hot as hell when you are pissed off."

I reach up, pinching his nipple, "Well I don't plan on being mad at you for a very long time."

He smiles. "And I hear make up sex is worth it."

We make our way back downstairs, everyone else has filtered into the kitchen.

"Morning," Alice says, her arms around Jackson's neck.

I look over at Jackson, and realize that he is grinning. I give him a sly wink, him returning one. I make my way back into the kitchen, looking over the amount of food that is on the counter.

"Who made all this?" I ask, looking around the room.

Jackson lifts his hand up mid air.

"Where the hell are all the men that can cook in Seattle?" I state, and I instantly see Edward's face fall.

"Well for one thing, men in Seattle are fucking pansies," Emmett booms. "Girls need strong men to take care of them, not men that get manicures and Botox."

I laugh, silently agreeing with him.

"Hey Bella, didn't Mike have highlights?" Rose asks laughing.

I glare at Rose, just what I need right now is to talk about my old boyfriend in front of my new boyfriend. Especially with Edward's….history.

"Probably," I mutter, hoping to defuse the conversation.

_That fucker totally has highlights though. _

I pick up a paper plate, loading it up with food. I swear I have never eaten this much, I guess actually having sex increases your appetiteive. Edward follows, and we both go out onto the porch with our plates. I slide into one of the chairs, Edward sitting down beside me. I look out of the corner my eye, noticing that Edward is just pushing his food around the plate.

I open my mouth, only to close it again. After another minute of trying to figure out what to say, I feel Edward's hand slide onto mine. I look over at him, giving my most reassuring smile.

"When do you have to leave?" he asks, showing no emotion.

I swallow the large lump in my throat. Goddamn my big mouth with that Seattle comment and Rose with her 'Mike hairstyle' commentary.

"Umm..." I start.

It's obvious that this discussion would come up. Why had I not better planned for it?

"Well classes start the first week in August," I say, almost whispering.

"So two weeks?" he says, looking down at his plate.

"Yeah," I squeak out.

I squeeze his hand.

"Edward, I'm not moving to another country."

"It might as fucking well be," he snaps.

I sit there, hesitant to respond.

"I have weekends free," I state.

I see a small smile form on his face. I get up from my seat, then walk over to straddle his lap.

"Edward, just because I won't be with you every night doesn't mean I don't love you."

I run my fingers through his hair, making him close his eyes.

"Can't I just pay for you to stay? You don't need a fucking job. Fuck school. I have a shitload of money. I can take care of you."

A laugh escapes me. "I can't just quit school."

He opens his eyes again, the green in them seems extra vibrant today.

"I'm sure I can persuade you," he smirks.

My legs instantly clench.

"And you want me to throw away 3 and a half years of hard work?" I say, batting my eyelashes.

"Yes."

I shake my head.

"I love you, but ain't going to happen."

He pouts his lips. I lean down, putting my lips on his. I feel his tongue trace mine, begging to enter. I open my mouth wider, feeling his tongue glide across mine. This man literally takes my breath away. I can feel his hand move smoothly across my spine, his long fingers trailing across the bare skin of my back.

He pulls his lips from mine.

"Can I ask just one thing from you?"

My heart palpitates a little.

"Just stay away from other men," he says sternly. "I don't like the idea of people staring at what's mine."

I smile.

"Well I do go to a co-ed school Edward," I laugh.

"Way to ease my worries."

I pull on the back of his hair, making him look at me.

"Edward, I want no one else but you. I am yours, no one else's. I love you. If you knew me at all, me saying that should be enough to convince you."

He smirks, and then reaches up, running his hands across my chin.

"I love you too Bella. You are my life now." He pauses, "And if you knew me at all, you'd know that I mean it."

I lean back down again, giving him a soft kiss. I slide off his lap, holding my hand out.

"It's hot as fuck, let's go out on the boat."

He reaches up, and I pull him up out of the chair, our chests meeting.

"On August 30th, you are all mine though."

"August 30th?" I ask, confused.

"PBR world finals in Vegas. And I need my good luck charm by my side."

I smile, "Is that like the Stanley Cup for bull riding?"

He laughs, "Yeah, I guess so."

A few seconds later I see Alice bounce through the slider, "You all ready to go swimming?"

I shake my head up and down, making my way back to the bedroom to put my drive-Edward-nuts bikini on.. Looking in the mirror, I secretly pray.

_Please let it be alright. _

* * *

**Hope you all enjoyed. See you next week! **_  
_


	16. Chapter 16 All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye

**A/N: Ok so when I said "see you next week" that apparently meant tomorrow. Oh and have I mentioned how kick ass my beta is? Cause she did these chapters back to back.**

**Not much to say about this chapter except please enjoy and if you have time...review! :) **

* * *

**BPOV**

How in the FUCK did two weeks go so fast?

I'm in an incredibly bad mood. My mind shifts schizophrenically from saying 'fuck school, to talking myself into going home.' I lay in Edward's bed, not able to sleep. I'm on number 541 of my ceiling dot counting game..

_What the hell do I need a history degree for? _

_Your father paid thousands of dollars for your education, you can't drop out now._

_4 months Bella. It's only 4 months. _

I sigh loudly, startling Edward awake. His eyes look into mine, and I can instantly feel the moisture filling my eyes. His long arm reaches out, pulling my entire body into his chest. I can feel his breath on my hair, his chest rising and falling quickly.

"Is this day really here?" he mutters.

I spin around so I am now facing him. I shake my head, physically not able to say words.

"Fuck." He squeezes his eyes shut like he's trying to block everything out.

"Your flight isn't until late tonight right?"

"Not til 11," I squeak out. "I hoped to have as much time with you as possible," I say, trying to give him a reassuring smile.

"So what do you want to do with your last hours in Nevada?"

"You're looking at it," I smile.

"Mmmm all day long in bed with Bella," he says squinting. "Sounds good to me."

He leans over, kissing me hard. He inhales reverently.

"Sure am going to miss that scent," he declares.

"Maybe I'll have to leave some of my clothes here," I giggle.

"How about I tie you to the bed so you never leave?"

"Edward," I say sternly, with a hint of joking in my voice.

He shrugs, "It was worth one more try."

I sit there for a few seconds, just staring at him.

_Fuck I'm going to miss his face. And his huge dick. _

An idea pops into my head. Suddenly I feel giddy.

"I know what I want to do today!" I bounce.

"Is that so?" he says, giving me his most fuckhawt smile.

I smile. "The cliff."

He smiles back at me and. for the first time since opening his eyes I see a little glimpse of happy. We lay in each other's arm's neither of us saying anything. When I start to get up, I hear Edward grumble.

_Such a child._

I slowly make my way to the bathroom, running my finger against the wall, walking high on the balls of my feet. I slowly look back at Edward on the bed. I walk over to the shower, switching it on.

I walk halfway back to the bedroom, and stop, running my hands up and down the strap on my white nightgown.

"Care to join me?" I say, and then bite my lip ever so slightly cause I know it drives him crazy.

My attempt at seduction works like a charm. Edward flings the comforter off, runs over and scoops me up. He walks right into the shower with me on his shoulder. We are both laughing uncontrollably as he sets me down. I can feel the warm water soaking through my very thin nightgown, every inch of my body is now on display. Both of us stop laughing immediately. I stare into his eyes, his face mirroring my own. He leans forward, placing his forehead on mine. I can hear his breath becoming labored and I reach down, palming his now hard cock, feeling it strain against his wet briefs.

"I'm really going to miss this," I laugh, squeezing lightly.

I look up and him, my mind trying to etch every inch of his face into my mind. Edward begins to trail small kisses down my collarbone and I can feel his teeth clamp down on the thin straps, pulling them down over my arm. His strong hands palm my breasts, rolling the nipples in small circles beneath them.

He lets out a small sigh.

"I'm really going to miss these," he says totally serious.

"Oh really?" I respond. "Is that the only thing you're going to miss?"

He shakes his head almost like a child being caught. His fingers leave my chest, trailing down the length of the wet cloth, finding their way to under it, easily sliding into my wet sex.

"Mmmm, this too," he smiles.

I gasp. "I knew you just wanted me for my body."

He removes his fingers from my lips, placing his palm over my heart.

"This is what I will miss the most."

_Don't cry. Don't cry. _

I stand up on my tippy toes, wrapping my arms around my neck. I smash my mouth against his, hoping to stop the threat of the tears. We both instantly start kissing each other intensely, only pausing when I feel my nightie fly up and over my head. My shaky fingers reach down, shimmying off Edwards's briefs, his dick hard as rock. I feel his strong hands cup around my ass cheeks and I am lifted in the air, the cool glass of the shower wall hitting my back. Because Edward has me pinned against the wall, I can now look at him directly in the eyes. I can definitely see desperation and hurt in them, and at that moment I a sure I am making a mistake.

"Edward…" I breathe out.

But I abruptly stop when I feel him push forcefully inside me in one swift motion, taking me by surprise. I lean my head back against the class, his girth stretching my walls slowly. With his arm still wrapped around my lower back, he begins to thrust inside me, at a slow and rhythmic rate. I grip onto his shoulder, grinding my hips into him with every thrust. The pleasure is so intense that I subconsciously start digging my fingernails into his back until I hear Edward take a sharp breath.

"Sorry," I say, almost wincing.

"Don't worry Bella, you can't hurt me."

_Sometimes I feel like he talks about two things at once. _

He thrusts into me hard, and my mind is drained of ability to continue the thought. A few seconds later he pulls me off the wall and slides out of me. My pussy instantly objects.

"Turn around," he says sternly.

I do as I'm told and stand there, waiting for his next instruction. I can feel him so close behind me, his sweet breath flowing by my ear.

"Hands on the floor," he whispers.

My insides clench tightly, and I think I feel my legs shake. I bend over, placing my palms flat on the floor of the shower. I do a fist bump in my head, guess I can thank my mom for forcing me to do gymnastics when I was younger.

"Fuck Bella," he says, "This is my new favorite view."

I smile, lifting my head up. He enters me again, sliding it in as far as it will go. I think this is the deepest his cock has ever felt inside me. His finger tips dig into my hip bones, each thrust stronger than the last.

I start to moan out loudly, the powerful sensation taking over my body. I leaned down even more, the sensation changing ever so slightly. The deeper I bend down, the more the head of his cock pushes against my walls and g spot. I reach up, placing my palm against the now warm class, hoping it will counterbalance my almost buckling knees.

"Jesus Christ," I spit out, not knowing how much more I can take it.

I hear continuous moans leave Edward's lips and I know it must feel just as good for him. I turn my heard around in his direction. As much as I love making slow, all-day-long love to this man, the aggression behind our movements is just what I want right now. Its fierceness matches the turmoil inside me.

"Fuck me Edward," I breathe out. "Now. Please. Hard."

I instantly feel his body go rigid and he starts pounding as fast as he can, the warm water flowing between our bodies.

"Shit!" I say, barely able to form words.

After another half a dozen or so thrusts I feel his cock slide out of me and I instantly begin to worry, that is until I feel his arm grasp mine, and then he throws the shower door open and tugs me across the room at an alarming rate. When he reaches the bed, he whips around to face me, picking me up hastily by my hips, throwing me on the bed. My wet body soaks into the sheets, my hair sticking to me. Edward climbs onto the bed, instantaneously sliding his dick back into me. I reach up, running my hands through his sopping wet hair. Edward crashes his lips onto mine and thrusts inside of me with the same speed as the shower.

_So fucking good. _My toes are uncontrollably gripping the sheets and I struggle to try to form words out of my thoughts.

"Edward, your dick feels so fuckin good," I say, my eyes looking into his.

"Chirst Bella, I could die right now a happy man," he smirks.

I can feel my orgasm reaching its limit.

"I'm going to come Edward!" I scream out.

My orgasm breaks, the pleasure filling every square inch of my body. My back instantly arches and I feel Edward's hand wrap around my throat gently. His simple touch makes the pleasure spike, my orgasm riding out ever longer. As I come down off my high, I feel Edward's cock pulse inside of me. I wrench my head up, looking at Edward. Shocked.

He looks down at me, "I'm sorry," he states.

"Did you…" I say, not having to finish that sentence for him to understand.

He nods. My stomach instantly drops.

I put up my best smile, "It's ok..I'm not ovulating."

Edward leans down, giving me a soft kiss. He slowly slides out of me and I lay there motionless, lost in my thoughts, with an unfamiliar stickiness between my legs.

"I love you," he says softly. "I'm so so sorry Bella, I just wasn't thinking. I couldn't control it."

"I love you too Edward," I respond. "It's ok. Really. I'm pretty sure the timing should be ok."

_It will be fine. It took my mom 2 years to get pregnant with me. Maybe it's genetic. _

I hadn't even noticed him get up from the bed, but after a few minutes Edward returns fully dressed, a worried look on his face. I snap out of my gloomy state, pulling myself from the bed. I walk over to Edward, running my hands across his jaw.

A bright smile flashes across his face, his mood doing a complete 180. I look at him confused.

"Well since you're knocked up now, looks like you'll have to stay here."

I laugh, feeling myself blush.

"Just what I would need is a mini YOU running around," I giggle.

He gasps jokingly. I push on his chest, making him scoot out of my way. I make my way to the bathroom to freshen up.

After I get dressed, Edward and I make our way to the garage. He pulls the cover off the Ducati and I am hit with memories. Oh how that ride seems like years ago. Something catches my eye. There's not one, but two helmets hanging from the handlebars. And one is hot pink.

Edward slides it off the bar, holding it out to me.

"You…bought this for me?" I say, staring at it.

"Gotta make sure you're safe. You're too important to me."

I can feel a tear fall down my cheek.

"Bella, what's wrong?" he asks worried.

I wrap my arms around him forcefully, the helmet accidently bouncing off his back.

"I love you Edward," I mutter into his chest.

"I love you too Bella," he says, stroking my hair.

Sometimes I feel like such a child around him. A child who doesn't deserve any of this. I pull my body away from him, wiping the tears from my face. Edward reaches down, pulling the helmet out of my hands.

"Riding always makes me feel better," he smiles.

"What kind of riding?" I joke.

He opens his mouth, a light laugh leaving it.

"Both kinds actually."

I smile as Edward slides the helmet over my head. He reaches over, sliding on his as well.

_Add motorcycle helmet to list of things that look fucking hot on Edward. _

He slides himself onto it and I follow right behind him. Edward reaches down and the engine roars to life. We pull out of the garage, zooming down the driveway, and onto the main road. The weather is incredibly hot; summer in Nevada is not quite like the summers I'm used to in Washington. We reach the familiar break in the trees, but Edward doesn't pull over, instead driving the Ducati up the narrow bath. When we reach the open field, Edward climbs from the bike, then holds his hand out for me to climb down. I pull my helmet off, setting it on the handlebar. I walk past Edward, making my way towards the cliff. I stand so close to the edge, the tips of my toes hanging off.

I look out over the town, smiling to myself over how things have changed since I first stood in this very spot. I become lost in thought, until I feel my body lurch forward. I scream out, my heart beating a million miles an hour.

I hear Edward laugh, his arms securely around me waist.

"Don't worry baby, you're always safe with me," he says into my ear.

"Yeah right, dick…" I say, turning around to face him. "Not all of us are adrenaline junkies you know."

My heart is still racing and I want to stay pissed off, but he has a huge goofy smile on his face, and it seems to be contagious.

"Come on then..." he says, grabbing my hand

"Where we going?" I ask, confused as hell.

"No trust?" he asks, shaking his head.

"About as far as I can throw you cowboy!" I laugh.

We walk across the field and into the thick woods. We walk hand in hand, climbing through overgrown trees. After what seems like forever the woods lighten up a bit and we are now on the edge of a body of water.

"This is my favorite cool down spot," Edward says beaming.

I can't help but laugh.

_I guess with summers this hot one tends to come up with intriguing ideas to cool yourself down._

"What's so funny?" Edward asks.

"Nothing," I smile.

Edward lets go of my hand and starts fidgeting out of his boots, then goes for his belt buckle. He slides his pants off, and my heart is back at the races again. I'm standing there drooling like an idiot when he then lifts his shirt up and over his head and throws it at my face.

"Race you to the top," he laughs, then bolts into the woods again.

I quickly undo my jeans, pulling them off in one swift motion. Pretty soon I am standing there in nothing but my underwear and bra, waiting and watching. After a few more minutes, I squint into the sky, seeing Edward's shadow form at the top of a high ledge. He stands incredibly close to the edge, a long rope in his hand.

I gasp, putting my hands over my mouth. Edward leans back, then starts running forward and leaps off the edge, putting his weight on the rope. I let out an involuntary scream as Edward's body hits the water, his form sinking beneath the surface. I can do nothing but stare at the dark abyss, waiting for his golden hair to poke though.

I hold my breath in, then letting it go hastily when I see his head finally come to the surface. I don't know whether or not to laugh, scream, or cry.

"Is there anything you won't do?" I ask, shaking my head.

"For an adrenaline rush? No," he states. "Try it Bella."

"What? Are you crazy?" I ask shocked. "What if I break my neck?

"I promise you I would never put you in any danger Bella," he says, his tone stern.

I stand there for a few more seconds before ripping off into the woods. I follow a small path that leads up the hill, until I reach the cliff's edge. I peer out over it, seeing Edward treading water in the pool below.

_Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck me._

Edward gives me a "come on" hand gesture, heightening my anxiety. I wrap my arms around the weathered rope.

_Don't be such a pussy._

I walk backwards a few steps, giving myself some running room. I propel myself forward, my feet leaving the cliff's edge. The adrenaline pumps through my veins with an intensity I've never experienced. I feel weightless. After a few seconds, I let go of the rope, my body being pulled down at an incredible rate. I drop into the water, and it's so cold it feels like tiny needles attacking my skin, but it is refreshing as well. When my head comes to the surface, I am met with Edward's body, his hands wrapping around my waist.

"I'm so proud of you!" he exclaims.

I look up at the cliff, "Did I really just do that?" I laugh

"Yes you did baby, and you did it with unparalleled grace. For a moment there I thought you were going to trip and break an arm or something."

"I thought you said I wasn't in any danger! And where would you have been to save me? Or right, down here." I say, splashing water in his face.

I expected him to retaliate, but instead he wipes the water from his eyes and grows serious. He pulls me in closer, giving me a passionate kiss.

"Don't go."

I sigh. "Edward, I have to."

"Says who?"

"Says me."

"Well your opinion doesn't count."

I give him my best bitchface.

"Like you said, we will see each other all the time. Plus it's only a month until Vegas. It will go by quickly."

He gives me a concerned look.

"I never want to imagine my life without you ever again."

I run my hands through his hair, "I'll be just a phone call away."

He sighs loudly, spinning me around so I am now floating in the water, his hands holding me up. With my ears below water, I close my eyes, listening to all the little muted sounds of nature. A blissful moment of silence. I flutter open my eyes, meeting Edward's.

"I love you," I mouth to him.

"Forever," he mouths back to me.

After an extended period of time spent trying to soak in the site of one another, Edward and I finally pull ourselves from the water, sliding back into our clothes.

"What do you want to do now?" Edward asks.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

He smiles. "Sounds good to me."

We lay in the meadow, doing nothing but BEING together. Before I know it, the sun begins to set on the horizon, night taking over day. I pull out my cell phone and my heart instantly drops.

"Edward, its 8."

He leans over looking at it, his mood instantly changing.

"Well we better get you going then," he stands up, making his way to the bike, leaving me behind. I swallow harshly. I pull my body from the ground, walking to Edward.

"Are you ok?" I ask.

"Fucking peachy," he mutters out, not facing me. I can see the tension in his shoulders.

I stand there. Not moving. He breathes out loud, getting my attention.

"I don't know how to explain it to you without sounding like a selfish asshole. I want you Bella, and I can't bear the thought of the pain I know is coming when you leave me tonight. Finishing school is a great accomplishment Bella, and I want you to be proud of that accomplishment. I don't want to be the asshole who tries to rob that from you. I really don't." He pauses and shakes his head as if he's mentally arguing with himself over what he's about to say.

"But for the first time in my life, I realize how many walls I put up around myself after I stepped foot in that kitchen and found out my mom was gone. You've broken through those walls and now I just can't bear the thought of losing you… the way I lost her."

It is silent for a few seconds, "I'll get over it," he says.

I can feel the tears building up in my eyes. My brain can't connect to my mouth to form any words.

_Crying will only make it worse. Dear God I wish I knew for sure I was making the right decision._

Edward turns, putting his helmet on, then mounts the bike. He holds out my helmet, and I slide it onto my head. The entire ride back to Edward's I have to forcefully hold back the emotions that are begging to get out. When we pull into the garage, I see Emmett and Jackson's truck in the driveway. Making it back in the house, I see everyone has congregated in the kitchen. The house has a gloomy feeling that's reflected on the faces of all our friends. Edward walks past everyone, not saying a word and makes his way upstairs.

I flash a worried look at Emmett, who gets up and makes his way over to me.

"I don't know what to do Emmett," I state, looking up in the direction of the stairs.

"He just needs some time; he has a hard time with goodbyes. Especially saying goodbye to someone he deeply cares about"

"Keep an eye on him for me," I say, turning to face him.

"Sure thing Bella Bee," he responds, giving me a hug.

I start to make my way upstairs and when I reach the master bedroom doors, I breathe in heavily. Walking into the room, I see Edward's figure inside his closet, and when I round the corner, I see him slam his safe door shut. He turns around to face me, his facial expression the same. Not wanting to press the issue, I walk over to grab my suitcase, slowly packing it. I can feel Edward's eyes boaring into me, making me even more uncomfortable. When I finish, I set the suitcase in the middle of the room and wait. Edward pulls himself from the chair he has positioned himself in, picking up the bag and heads downstairs. I follow.

"Let's GO" he calls out gruffly, making everyone jump.

He makes his way out to the garage, staring up the Raptor. I crawl in, still not saying anything to him. The rest of them go in their own cars, Edward and I are alone once again. After a few miles, Edward speaks.

"Now you won't sit next to me?"

My heart drops.

"You seemed like you wanted to be left alone."

Edward drops his head for a second, then lifts it back up.

"FUCK!" he screams out randomly, pounding his fists on the dash. "I never know what I am doing with you Bella. My mind doesn't work properly when I am around you."

"I'm sorry," I say, not really knowing what to say.

He laughs. "It's not your fault. Maybe its best that you are leaving me. I'm really no good at this at all. I'm not good enough for you."

I wrench off my seatbelt, sliding as close to him as possible.

"Edward, pull over. NOW!" I shout.

My body sways as he parks in the center median of the freeway. I grab his face, making him look at me.

"I am not leaving you!" I scream, the tears freely falling now. "I love you Edward. You are everything that I didn't know what I was looking for. Before you came along I was fine… I had a life, I had friends, I didn't need a man. I was perfectly lonely. But Edward, since I first laid eyes on you, I have this unexplained pull to you. Even when you were being a complete asshole," I laugh.

I think I even see a smile come across his face.

I continue. "There is nothing that you can do to make me not love you Edward. You are a good person, and you have an incredible soul. This temporary separation will be a test of that love. I promise you when I leave here tonight, I am still yours and nothing can change that. You have my promise. I will come back to you. I will always come back."

Without responding, he wraps his hands around my face, slamming his lips to mine. He then pulls his face from mine.

"I love you so much Bella. And as you have promised, nothing will ever change that."

He puts the truck in drive, pulling off the center divider. His arm is now around me and things are back to where they should be, but the pit of my stomach still feels unsettled. When we reach the airport, Edward pulls into the parking lot, shutting off the truck. I look down, it's already 9:30.

"I gotta get going," I say no louder than a whisper.

We get out of the truck, Edward already has my suitcase in hand. We wait for Emmett and Jackson to pull up, Rose and Alice making their way to me. As all six of us stand there, the night grows quiet.

"Can't miss your flight," Emmett nudges me.

He reaches down, giving me a hug while lifting me off the ground. I can't help but laugh

"Thanks for putting up with num nuts over here," he says, pointing to Edward.

"Fuck you man," Edward laughs.

Emmett lets go of me and I eyeball Jackson. He smiles, holding his arms open. I walk over to him and wrap my arms around him.

"It's been a pleasure Bella," he says, kissing the side of my head.

Rose and Alice take turns hugging everyone, until its only Edward and I left. Everyone in the group walks off, leaving us alone. I walk towards Edward, slamming my chest into his. I feel his fingers run through my hair, his simple touch meaning so much more that words ever could.

After a few more minutes, Emmett and Jackson make their way back over to Edward, Alice and Rose standing in the distance behind me. I pull myself from Edward's grasp.

"I'm yours," I whisper, placing my lips on his. I feel his tongue enter my mouth, my body responding to it. After a deep kiss, I pull away.

"I love you so much Bella Swan. And I will be there to reclaim you as soon as you graduate," he says smirking.

"I love you too Edward, and I'm looking forward to being reclaimed."

I start to back away slowly, our fingertips still intertwined until the distance between us it too large, and my hand falls from his. I begin to feel incredibly nauseous and tears begin to fall again. I flip back around so I am now facing Alice and Rose. With luggage in hand, we all make our way towards the terminal, but not without one more glance. I turn my head over my shoulder, my eyes meeting the emerald green that took my breath away not a mere 2 months ago. Edward gives me a wink, and then a smile.

_It's going to be all right. _

When we get checked in, we make our way to the gates and I throw my body into one of the chairs, not wanting to move. I stare at the carpet on the ground, my mind going in a hundred different directions.

_Did I make the right decision?_

"Bella, you did," Alice says. I look up at her in shock, she only smiles.

_Maybe she really is psychic. _

"Did I?" I choke out. "Why doesn't it feel like it?"

She puts her hand on top of mine.

"Just give it time. I promise everything is going to be just fine."

I give her a half-hearted smile. "I hope so."

We settle in to wait the notoriously long time for our plane to arrive, the minutes ticking by extremely slow. I'm knocked out of my trance when I hear my name being called over the loud speaker, telling me to come up to the counter. I look around confused, and then make my way up there.

"I'm Isabella Swan," I say to the woman behind the counter.

She types in a few keys into the computer, then smiles. You and you're party have been upgraded to first class."

A lump forms in my throat. _Edward._

She prints out our new boarding passes, handing them to me.

"Have a nice flight," she says smiling.

"Thanks," I mutter, making my way back to my chair.

I hand Rose and Alice their respective envelopes, not saying anything.

"That was…nice," Rose says.

Shortly after our plane arrives, we settle into our seats. The only problem with first class is you have to wait for everyone else to slowly board. I pull out my phone, opening up a new text.

**When you do stuff like that it makes me doubt this decision even more.**

I hit send, waiting his reply.

**Just because I don't physically see you doesn't mean you don't deserve the best Bella. **

My heart flutters.

**You're too good to me. I don't deserve it.**

I wait.

**How many times do we have to go over this, you deserve the world. And I'm going to give it to you.**

I smile.

"Ma'am, we need you to shut of all electronic devices. We are preparing for take off."

I type a "GTG, 3" message really quick, and then shut it off.

"Thank you," she says, continuing on.

The flight back to Seattle is less than two hours, and I spend the entire time in a deep sleep. Emotions take a lot out of you apparently. As we start to descend, I awaken, looking out over the bright lights of Seattle. I am home.

_But why does it feel like I just left home behind?_

The cab ride back to our apartment is quiet; all of us saying no more than two words each. The cab makes its way into the familiar, yet foreign feeling, parking lot of our apartment building. I climb the stairs, each step feeling like the equivalent of Mount Everest. Rose pulls the door open and I shuffle inside, walking immediately to my room, slamming the door shut. I look around, everything is in its place. Just like I left it.

_How can something so familiar seem so…not anymore? _

I place my suitcase on the bed, and unzipping it. A beautiful purplish flower rests on top of my clothes. My hand flies up to cover my mouth, realizing it is the same type of flower that grows in the clearing. I delicately raise it, and just stand there, holding it in my hand. I look back down, seeing an envelope next to it, with _Bella _written in Edward's handwriting. I reach down with shaky hands, picking it up as well. When I peer inside I see a small folded note, and a shitload of cash. I set the flower down delicately on the desk, then pull out the note.

**Don't want to have to picture you eating that crap you call mac n cheese. **

**Please use this money to buy yourself HEALTHY dinners.**

**I miss you already.**

**Your cowboy****,  
Edward**

I clutch the paper to my chest, my heart beating erratically. I peer inside the envelope again, thumbing through each bill. Two. Thousand. Dollars. I look over at the clock, it's already 1:45am.

_He's probably asleep. I shouldn't call him._

I pull my phone out of my back pocket, staring at it. I scroll through the contacts, highlighting his name. I hit call, putting it up to my ear.

"Hello?" I hear a broken voice answer.

"Oh shit, you were asleep," I answer.

_Not shit Bella._

"I wasn't asleep."

We sit there in awkward silence for a few seconds.

"Bella?"

"I'm here."

"Everything alright?"

"I just opened my suitcase," I say smiling. "You didn't have to do that Edward. I have money. Well, enough to feed myself at least."

"Well then use to get yourself something; maybe get yourself some pepper spray to use on those assholes I know are gonna be ogling you in class all day long."

"Edwarddd…."

"Ok, ok," he says, pausing. "God I miss you. This house is so empty without you. I'm empty without you."

My heart sinks a little.

"I miss you too Edward," I choke out.

I hear glass clink around on his end of the phone.

_He's drinking? _

"Well I just wanted to call and say thank you."

"Anytime baby. I told you. I want to give you the world," he states.

"All I want is you," I clear my throat to try to stuff down the emotion that's trying to bubble up inside me. "I gotta get to bed, have to be productive tomorrow and get some things together before school starts on Monday. Good night Edward. I love you," I say, no louder than a whisper.

"Good night Bella. I love you more than I could ever show you."

I hear his end click off. I slowly pull my phone from my ear, throwing it onto the desk. I shove my suitcase off the bed, climbing under the covers, not even bothering to take my shoes off. I close my eyes, and soon sleep overtakes me.

**FAST FORWARD: Monday**

_I really left Edward for this shit? _

I walk down the halls of the university, taking in the familiar smell of the old buildings. I step foot into my new classroom, along with a few hundred other students.

_Lecture class. Yay._

For the next three hours, I stare down at my notepad, drawing random squiggles and hearts on it. I am in a state of dire boredom, when I feel my phone buzz in my pocket. I pull it out, seeing Edward's name flash across the screen.

_How badly I want to answer it._

When the vibrating stops, I open a new text.

**I'm in my class. Is everything ok?**

I hit send. A few seconds later, I feel it vibrate again.

**Everything is fine. Just wanted to hear your beautiful voice.**

I can't hold back a smile.

**I will be out in about 30 minutes, I'll call you then. **

**Ok beautiful.**

Not another second later, I get a second text from him.

**Oh and Emmett's been bugging me to death…he says hello.**

I let out a laugh, snapping my head up to see if anyone noticed. As I look around the room my eyes meets Mike's.

_Fuck me. _

I gave him a half ass smile, turning my attention back to my phone.

**LOL. Tell him I say hello. TTYL.**

I set my phone down on the table, thinking our conversation is over. A few seconds later it bounces on the table, getting everyone's attention around me. I can feel myself blush. I pick it up again, opening the new message.

**What the fuck does LOL and TTYL mean?**

_My silly cowboy._

**Laugh Out Loud and Talk To You Later.**

**You kids and you'r lingo. **

**Sorry Grandpa, next time I will spell it out for you. **

I laugh to myself.

**I might just have to give you a time out then. Or maybe a tie down. **

My girly bits clench.

**Looking forward to it cowboy. **

**As am I Miss Swan. Goodbye. For now. **

The rest of the class is a blur, and all I can think about now is rope. And Edward's chin. And Edward's rock hard…

"Bella!" I hear a voice shout out a little too enthusiastically.

I look up, seeing the dirty blond hair and dark brown eyes.

"Hey Mike," I mutter.

"So how was your summer?"

I smile. "It was amazing."

He stares down at me, waiting.

"And how was yours?" I say, not really giving a shit.

"It was fucking awesome. We went down to Lake Havasu. You know what that place is known for right?"

"No, no I don't," I say sternly.

"Booze and girls," he says, a huge smile on his face. He's clearly saying this to try to upset me.

_Dream on loverboy. _

"Thanks great Mike," I say, getting up from my seat and trying to walk around him.

I jump when he steps out in front on me.

"I'm working down at The Ram as a bar tender, you should come hang out one night. Drinks on me."

"Yeah. Sure," I respond, hoping it will satisfy him.

I slide past him, walking fast, trying to get away from him as fast as possible.

_What the HELL was I thinking dating that asshole? _

I pull out my phone again, dialing Edward.

"Hey," he says, sounding out of breath.

"Are you ok?"

He laughs, "Yeah, just doing some stuff in the barn."

I let out a sigh.

"Are you shirtless?" I ask quickly. "And sweaty?"

"Uhhh yes."

"Fuck me," I mumble to myself.

"I'd love to."

"I'm sure you would."

"What are you doing now?"

"I'm heading to the library. Meeting up with Alice."

"It's the first day of school, why in the hell are you going to the library already."

"Because I apparently already have homework."

"Jesus Christ, so glad I never went to college."

"Ahh yes, everyone isn't as lucky as you. We all don't have abilities that make us a lot of money," I pause. "How much money do you make?"

I hear him laugh. "Weren't you ever taught it's not nice to ask someone how much money they make?"

"Bite me."

"Gladly. When and where missy?"

I giggle.

"3 million."

A gasp leaves my throat, not knowing what to say.

"But I also have invested in numerous companies around the state, which also adds to my income."

"Holy hell Edward. I knew you had money, but never guessed THAT much."

"Well now I know that you're definitely dating me for the fuckhawt sex and not for my money. That's a relief."

"Asshole," I laugh.

I see Alice standing out in front of the library, a worried look on her face.

"Listen cowboy, I gotta go get some work done, and so do you. I'll call you later when I am free. I love you."

"I will wait with bated breath. And I love you too. Be Safe."

"I promise."

I hang up, walking up to Alice.

"Alice," I say, waving my hand in front of her face.

Her eyes snap up to me.

"Are you ok?" I ask concerned.

"Oh yeah, I'm just really tired. Being back to school and all."

I spend the rest of the afternoon in the library with Alice, trying to pour my attention into school work instead of imaging what I'd rather be doing hundreds of miles away in barn with a certain sweaty cowboy.

When we make it back to the apartment, Alice makes us spaghetti, and the three of us sit at the table, finishing off a bottle of wine. None of us seem to have much to say and there's only one thought racing through my mind…

_I really miss Edward. _

* * *

_**A/N: Ok so when I first started outlining this story it was always planned for Bella to go home. One thing I always hated in ff stories was when Bella would throw her entire life away, esp if she lived in a different town/area than Edward. My Bella is suppose to be a *insert Angela voice here* strong, independent woman. Hope this doesn't make anyone mad. Just remember: absence makes the heart grow fonder. Oh and I promise, there will be no lack of Chapward...(well for now)**  
_


	17. Chapter 17 Without You

**A/N: First off I would like to say Happy Easter to those who celebrate it!**

**A big hug for my fuckawesome beta TwoPeas1Pod! Love you SO much!**

**Just a reminder that I will be posting an outtake for the Fandom4Tsunami and it will ONLY be posted there so make sure you donate $5 and you have access to that and many more O/S!**

**Oh and thanks so much to Eveningrainjlho for helping me with Seattle info! Love you! Oh and if you arn't reading her fic Sexy Silk, you are SERIOUSLY missing out! GO check it out!  
**

**So here we are again...**

* * *

**EPOV**

Was my life always this fucking boring without Bella in it?

It's been a week since Bella left Nevada, and I'm about to rip my fucking hair out. Emmett and Jackson keep coming around like they think I am going to kill myself or something, and honestly it's fucking annoying.

"What do you want to do today man?" Emmett says , sitting on the couch next to me.

"You're looking at it," I say, taking a sip of my Jack and Coke.

"Man she didn't die, she went HOME. Quit being such a pussy."

"Fuck you Em," I sneer. "Why are you even here?"

"I promised Bella Bee I'd look after you."

I laugh. "So you're my mom now."

"Whatever man," he says, in an irritated voice. "I'm gonna head out."

"See ya," I mutter, continuing to stare at the TV.

I see him walk towards the front door, slamming it. I let out a sigh. My days have been consisting of doing things around the house, not really putting any effort into anything. My nights usually consist of drinking, trying to trick my mind that I am not alone….again.

After a few hours on mindless crap on the TV, I shut it off, pulling myself from the couch and heading upstairs. I kick off my boots, then fall into the bed. I stare up at the ceiling. I feel the empty, cold space next to me. I close my eyes, feeling a phantom hand trail across my chest. I inhale, swearing I can smell her scent fill the room. I keep my eyes closed, the booze helping my body relax. Ever since Bella left, I can't seem to turn off my mind. But sleeps finds me after a short time.

I snap open my eyes, and they are hit with darkness. I roll to face my nightstand, the clock displaying 4:13am.

"Fuck," I mutter out loud to myself.

"Bellaaa," I say, throwing my arm across the other side of the bed, but it never meets the warm flesh I was hoping for.

I lay there. Knowing now that I am never going to fall back asleep. I pull myself from the bed, making my way to the bathroom. Turning on the sink, I splash cold water in my face, hoping to wash away this funk that I am in. I stare at myself in the mirror, noticing large black circles under my eyes. This woman has taken a toll on my body. I reach down for my toothbrush, but stop mid grab. Right next to mine is Bella's. I get a feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I push off the counter, heading into my walk in closet. I slide off my sweats, changing into jeans and a t-shirt. I grab a small duffle bag from the corner, stuffing it with clothes. I walk back out to my bedroom, pulling my cell phone off the counter. I scroll down, finding the number I'm looking for, then put it up to my ear.

A female voice answers the line.

"This is Mr. Masen. I need a plane as soon as possible."

"No problem sir. We can set that up for you. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"No. Thank you. I will be arriving within 20 minutes."

I hit end on the phone, sliding it into my pocket. Grabbing my bag, making my way downstairs. I make sure everything is set.

_Shit._

I pull out my phone again, dialing Emmett.

"Dude, what the fuck? You're interrupting my beauty sleep."

"Well you better sleep for fucking decades then, cause you have one ugly ass mug."

"Fuck you dude, I'm hot."

I laugh.

"Hey I'm leaving town for a few days. You think you can look after the animals for a while?"

"Sure man, no problem. Say hi to Bella for me."

"I don't remember telling you where I was going."

"Dude, you didn't have to. Knew you weren't going to last much longer without seeing her."

I smile. "Be back in a few days."

"Have a good time man."

I make my way out, pulling on my white Stetson hat. I walk out the garage, throwing my bag in the cab of the truck. The drive to the airport was calm, no one on the road except a few truckers working their late night runs. I grip onto the steering wheel, a low buzz flowing through my body. When I reach the lights of the airport, I pull into the long term parking. I walk toward the terminal, seeing the plane ready for me. Walking across the tarmac, I am met by the pilot.

"Good to see you again Mr. Masen."

"You as well."

The female stewardess takes my bag from my hands. I climb aboard, sitting in one of the plush chairs.

"Where are we headed to Mr. Masen?" the pilots asks me.

"Seattle," I state, grinning.

I settle into the seat, and after a while I decide to kick it back, hoping to get a little more shut eye.

_Looking like a dead corpse probably isn't the most attractive way to show up on her doorstep._

Just as Bella is about to take off all her clothes, I am awakened from my dream by a light shake on my arm.

"Mr. Masen," I hear a female voice whisper.

I flutter open my eyes, to see the stewardess.

"We have arrived at Sea-Tac," she says smiling.

"Thank you," I say, getting up from my chair.

The look on the stewardesses face changes drastically. Her eyes shifting downwards, a light pink coming across her cheeks.

_Reminds me of my Bella._

I travel my eyes downward, now noticing that my cock is extremely hard, clearly pressing against the seam of my jeans. The stewardess looks back up at me, giving me a wink.

_Oh god. She thinks this is for her. _

"Would you like me to take care of that Mr. Masen?" she says in what I assume is her most sultry voice.

"I'm pretty sure my girlfriend can do that. But thanks," I say, grabbing my bag out of her hand.

I slide past her, climbing down from the plane. The weather is mild, the sun not harsh like it is in Nevada. I look down at my watch. It's 7:45. I've talked to Bella so much on the phone over the past week I have memorized Bella's her school schedule. Her first Friday class ends at 9:00.

I walk out of the airport, heading toward the rental cars.

"Hello sir. How may we help you today?"

"I need a car, now."

"Any preference?"

"Something nice, money is not a problem."

He types something into the computer, his eyes scrolling.

"We just got in a brand new 2011 Dodge Challenger."

"Fine," I say, sliding my card across the counter.

"If you could please just fill out these paper we can get you on your way."

I finish up my business, climbing into the car that still smells like brand new leather.

_Not too shabby._

I rip out of the parking lot, screeching the tires. The drive into the city is nice, but I feel the need to smoke. I pull out a cigarette, lighting it up.

_So much for giving a shit about the "no smoking" clause. _

I pull out my phone, plugging in the address for the university. When I reach the outskirts of the campus my heart begins to race. I pull into a space, not really caring if they give me a ticket or not. I glance to the side of me, a bright orange piece of shit Chevy is parked next to me. Pulling myself from the car, I take off my hat, sliding my hand through my hair, and then place it back on my head. I walk aimlessly around the campus, realizing I stick out like a sore thumb, and people definitely notice.

_Haven't these people ever seen a cowboy hat before?_

I pull my phone from my back pocket. I stand there, listening to it ring multiple times.

"Hello?" Jackson answers.

"Hey man, what's Alice's cell phone number?"

"What?"

"Alice's cell phone number."

"Hold on," I hear things shift around on the other end.

"You ready?"

"Hit me."

"206-558-9654"

"Thanks man," I say, hanging up.

I dial Alice's number, my heart beating erratically again.

"Hello?" I hear a soft voice on the other line.

"Alice…" I say.

"Who is this?"

"It's Edward."

"Oh my god Edwarddd….is everything ok?"

I laugh.

"Everything is fine. I need you to tell me where Bella's classroom is."

"Which one?"

"The one she's in now."

"Oh, ummm that would be the Casey building. It's on the back right of the campus…wait, why do you want to know."

"Oh, I was just wondering," I say laughing.

"You are here aren't you?" she screams.

"I am currently standing in front of some administrative building."

"Oh my god that is SO sweet Edward. Bella is gonna flip. She's been a little depressed lately."

_She's not the only one. _

"Thanks again Alice. I appreciate it. I guess…I'll see you later."

"Bye Edward."

I find the school map, locating Casey Hall. I plant myself against the wall in between two classroom doors I know could be hers, sliding to the side of a section of lockers, effectively hiding me from view. I stand there, staring at my watch, waiting for the minutes till 9:00 disappear. And that's when I hear the door to the right fly open.

**BPOV**

All I have to say is thank god it's Friday. I wake up, and I am so ready for the weekend it's not even funny. I drag my ass out of bed, walking over to my mirror, grabbing my towel that I not so delicately threw over it yesterday. Walking into the bathroom, I turn on the water, steam filling up the small bathroom in seconds. I look at myself in the mirror.

_Who is that haggard bitch staring back at me?_

I turn around, stepping into the tiny ass shower. That is definitely something I miss about Edward's. I let the warm water run down my body and after a few seconds I lay my head on the side of the wall, letting the warmth run though me while I daydream about Edward.

After a few minutes, my heart jumps, realizing something.

I sprint out of the shower, grabbing my iPhone and opening the calendar. I count back, 1 week, 2 weeks, 3 weeks, 4 weeks.

_Fuck.4 days late. _

I can feel my heart beating erratically, it almost feels like it's going to burst through my chest at any moment. And shortly thereafter a wave of nausea follows. I run over to my closet, pulling out a pair of jeans and a tshirt. Pulling on a pair of Converse, I grab my keys from the kitchen table, slamming the front door behind me. Walking out to the covered parking spaces, I reach my truck, unlocking it. I slowly pull out of the parking lot, but then gun it as soon as I get onto the main road. Unfortunately, this beast doesn't quite respond like the Jag. I continuously slam my foot to the ground, it's not going fast enough for my liking. When I reach the drug store I breathe a sigh of relief, relieved that it's open 24 hours. I pull myself out of the truck, making my way inside. I quickly find the aisle, hoping to get in and out as fast as possible. That is until I see how many different kinds there are.

_What the fuck is the need for ALL these different kinds?_

I grab one, not really caring what brand it is. I walk nervously up to the front counter, sliding the box onto it. And of course, it's a male checker. A hot male checker nonetheless.

_Not my fucking day._

He looks up at me slyly, and then starts to ring it up.

_Hurry up fucker. _

"That will be $16.23."

I reach into my wallet, pulling out a twenty. I shove it into his hand, impatiently waiting for my change. He hands it out to me, along with the bag. I wrench it out of his hands, not looking back. I race home, driving at a speed that my father would not be proud of for sure. When I make it back to the apartment, I am happy to see that Rose and Alice are still asleep. I tiptoe to the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I pull the box out from my purse, reading over the directions. Ripping open the package, I walk over to the toilet sitting down. Following the instruction, I piss on the stupid stick, and then place it flat on top of the counter.

I wait. And I wait. And I wait.

_How in the fuck can 3 minutes take so long?_

When the time is up, I continue to stare at the wall, avoiding eye contact.

_What if it's positive? _

Images of little boys in wranglers and cowboy boots flash across my mind. I can't help but smile. And that smile scares the shit out of me.

_I am WAY too young to be a mother. _

My stomach begins to turn as my eyes shift to the stick. I pick it up in my hands, slowly looking down.

_Two lines. Fuck..what does two lines mean again?_

I fumble trying to grab the box off the counter. "Two lines means you are not pregnant"

I breathe out a sigh of relief, but a small part of me is upset. I look down at my phone, realizing how late it is. I pack up the stick and the box, shoving it all back into my purse. When I make it back out of the bathroom I see now that Alice and Rose are awake.

"Morning," I mutter.

"Mornin," the both respond at the same time.

I go back to my room, pulling my book bag off the desk.

"Well, I'm going to head to class…" I mumble to the girls as I pass them in the kitchen.

"Bella…" I hear Rose say sternly.

I walk backwards, my eyes meeting hers.

"You ok?" she asks, "you look a little pale."

"I'm fine; I just am a little tired I guess. I'll see you after class."

I walk out the door, climbing in the truck. When I get to class, I sit down in my regular seat, already dreading being here. The entire class I zone out, replaying the morning in my head. Feeling every little emotion all over again. Thankfully the class flies, but unfortunately I didn't even take any notes, and the one thing I did happen to catch was there will be quiz next week.

When our teacher dismisses us, I know I must do something. Something that I really, really don't want to.

"Hey Mike," I call out, jogging up to him.

"Oh hey Bella," he says grinning.

_Keep it up and I will smack that grin right off you're fucking face._

"Hey, did you take notes during the lecture today?"

"Of course I did, it's a _lecture _class," he says condescendingly.

"Do you mind if I borrow them tonight? I'm not feeling so well and I kinda zoned out the entire class."

He looks down at his binder.

"I'll let you borrow them if you promise to have a drink with me."

_I'd rather fail the damn test than have a drink with you. _

I give him my bitch face. We leave the classroom, walking side by side.

"Uhh, thanks but I'll just get the notes from someone else," I say, walking out in front of him. Just as I am about to round the corner I feel a rapid yank of my backpack, pulling my backwards. I let out a huge scream, getting everyone else's attention in the hallway. I fumble around, getting ready to knee someone in the fucking balls, until I see green, I see….him.

Edward is standing in front of me, looking even more fucking incredible than I remembered. The huge smile on his face isn't helping. I reach out, touching his chest to make sure he's real. When I feel his warm flesh under my fingertips, I throw my arms around him, as he picks me up. I instantly inhale his scent.

_Holy shit. He's really here. _

I slide back down his body, looking up at his face.

"What are you doing here?" I squeal, not being able to contain my excitement.

He shrugs. "Missed you baby."

"God, I missed you too," I say, shoving my lips onto his.

Edward kisses me back passionately, quickly taking control . I feel Edward's hand palm my ass, making me laugh. When we finish, I pull my face from his, but not taking my eyes off him.

"How many more classes do you have today?" he asks.

"Only one, but I can definitely miss it," I smile.

"Perfect," he says smiling.

We walk hand in hand back to outside, making our way to the parking lot.

"Did you have this planned?" I ask, still in shock.

"Nope, woke up at 4am and it just clicked."

I hug onto his arm, not wanting any space between us. When we make it into the thick of the parking lot I walk towards my truck but then stop.

"Where are you parked? Wait, do you even have a car?"

He laughs. "Yeah, I got a rental. It's over there," he says, pointing in the same direction I am walking.

When we reach the row of cars that the Chevy is parked in, I walk up to it, stopping near the tailgate.

Edward gives me a shocked look, stopping in his tracks.

"Is that….yours?" he gasps.

I turn to look at it, then look back at him.

"Yeah…I never told you I drove a truck?"

"No…." he starts. "And if you told me it was THAT truck, I would have forbidden you to drive that piece of shit."

I walk back over to him.

"Are you hating on the truck?"

He looks back over at it, "Yes, definitely."

I roll my eyes at him. "So where's your car Mr. Hot Shit?"

He point to the Challenger parked next to me.

"Of course it is," I sneer, trying to not laugh.

"Do you want to just follow me over to the apartment so I don't have to leave the truck here?"

"You mean I have to follow you in that thing? I might die from your exhaust," he says grinning.

I ball up my fingers, punching him on the bicep as hard as I can.

He laughs. "Was that supposed to hurt?"

I squint my eyes at him. "Fuck you."

"Come here," he says, pulling me towards him. "I'm just fucking with you Bella."

"I wish you were fucking me," I say in my most sultry voice.

"Jesus Christ Bella, you have no idea how much I want to be doing that right now..."

"We can break in the Challenger if you want to."

He laughs, "I don't think you getting kicked out of school for indecent exposure will look real good on your resume. On second thought…."

"Come on cowboy, just follow me," I say, climbing into the Chevy.

I start it up, the truck immediately backfiring.

_I am mortified._

I pull out of the parking spot slowly, checking to see if Edward is behind. When I do look in my side mirror I swear I cum a little.

_Is that man really my boyfriend? Yes Bella, yes he is. _

Luckily, the drive back to the apartment is short. I pull into my regular place, signaling Edward to park in the spot marked "guest." He pulls himself from the Challenger, a small leather bag in his hand and a seriously worried look on his face.

I jog up to him, grabbing his arm.

"Edward, what's wrong."

He looks up at the building.

"You live…here?"

I look up in the same direction he is.

"Yeah…." I say confused.

"You, Rose and Alice live here….alone?"

"Jesus Christ Edward…what?"

"Nothing," he says swallowing.

I roll my eyes, and grab his hand, walking us up the stairs. I feel Edwards hand grab my ass cheek hard, a squeak slipping from my throat. He does it multiple times and each time I swat his hand away. When we reach the door, I feel Edward right behind me, his chest touching my back. I can smell his cologne all around me. My breathing becomes labored. I barely make it all the way around to face Edward before his mouth is all over me. I feel my body slam against the front door, making a loud banging noise. Edward shoves his hips into me and I can feel his rock hard cock pulsating against my leg.

_Fuck. I almost missed HIM as much as I missed Edward. _

I pull my mouth from his, then start trailing kisses down his chin, moving across to his adam's apple, down his neck and onto his chest. I hear constant moans leave Edward's throat, each one getting more deep as they progress. His hand's wrap into my hair, the fingers tugging on the strands gently.

"Fuck Bella, you have no idea how much I dreamt of this over the past week," he growls.

I smile. "Yeah, my plastic friend has been getting quite a work out," I breathe out, then continue to plant more kisses, until Edward pulls his body back, a fiery look in his eyes.

"What?" I ask, confused.

"That is the fucking hottest thing I have ever heard," he breathes out. "Imaging you playing with yourself just made my dick even harden."

I can feel my cheeks burning.

"I don't think that's possible Mr. Masen," I say looking down. "I think it's time we free….."

I am interrupted by the feeling of my body being thrown backward. My ass hits the ground as I let out a loud screech. When I get my barings I look up, seeing Rose standing beside the door.

"What the hell are you two doing out here? I heard a loud fucking bang, " she snaps, looking at me, then looking at Edward.

"Nothing," I say, laughing.

"Doesn't look like nothing," Rose says staring straight at Edward's dick straining against his pants.

I pick myself up off the ground, then usher for Edward to follow me. I walk straight into my room, ignoring Rose as she walks back into the bathroom. I shut my bedroom door behind us and sit down on the bed. I watch Edward, who is scanning my room, looking at every little thing. I'm hyper aware and nervous. My room is so…boring and mediocre compared to Edward's life.

"It's not much…." I blurt out.

He turns to face me.

"I think it's wonderful….feels like I am seeing a side of you that I haven't got to witness before."

"Yeah the boring ass part."

He walks over to me, sitting down.

"If there is anything I have learned about you Isabella Swan it's that NO part is boring," he says laughing.

I can't help but smile, and suddenly realize that him saying my full name does things to me that I can't explain. I lean into him, nuzzling my nose into the crook of his neck, just enjoying his warm skin next to mine. He wraps his arm around my back, holding me even closer. It's moments like these where I feel us really connect, not needing cluttered words to tell each other how we feel. However….our momentary silence is interrupted.

"Isabella Marie Swan!" I hear being screamed from across the apartment.

_Fucking Rose. _

Not two seconds later, Rose comes barreling through my bedroom door.

"What the fuck it this?" she calls out.

My eyes shift from her face to what she is holding in her hand. My pregnancy test.

_What the fuck does she care? Especially since it negative._

I look over at Edward, who looks way too fucking calm for what is going down. I bolt up from my bed, grabbing it out of Rose's hand. I look down at it, extremely confused. This isn't the same one from my purse. It's one of those super fancy ones that actually displays the word if you if you are pregnant or not, not the one line two line bullshit. And this one is positive.

My eyes widen, my heart begins to race.

"That one is not mine…" I squeak out, dropping it to the ground. Then I realize what I had said.

Rose and I look up at each other, both in a look of horror, and then back down to the stick on the ground.

_Alice. _

I look over at Edward, his facial expression hasn't even changed much.

_What is wrong with this man? Most men would be running for the hills right about now._

"Well fuck, all I can say is I'm glad it's not me," she says, turning around.

I kick the stick back out the door, and then slam it shut. I stare at the door for a moment, not wanting to face Edward. I then slowly spin, my eyes meeting his.

"Bella…" he calls out. "What did you mean that one is not mine."

I bite my lip.

"So you remember the last time we had…sex?" I ask.

"Of course," he smirks.

"Well, remember when you…um…didn't pull out?"

He smirk drops immediately.

"Well yeah…I was…late."

"Are you…" he whispers.

"No," I whisper back, astonished by the sound of disappointment in my voice.

"Oh," he responds, his eyes diverting to the ground.

I continue to look down at him, confused. I then move my feet forward, and kneel in front of Edward. Lifting up his head, a gaze into his eyes.

"Are you alright?" I ask concenrend.

He smiles. "I'm fine."

I look at him, not buying his answer.

"Spill….."

"I don't know Bella, when Rose walked…well more like busted…through that door, a vision of you pregnant flashed across my mind. It was the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen."

I can't help but smile, but then I can't help but laugh.

"Can you imagine a baby coming out of this?" I say, pointing downward at my hips.

He laughs. "I've told you before and I'll tell you again, you would look beautiful pregnant."

He continues to smile. "I've always wanted to be a young father."

"Umm don't you think you should be married before you start having kids?"

His smirk grows EVEN more.

"Are you proposing Bella," he winks.

"Wouldn't you like that," I say, reaching out poking his shoulder.

He reaches out, grabbing my hips and pulling him into me.

"I would love it," he whispers.

I lean down, kissing him on the lips.

"Let's get out of here," I say, pulling him up off the bed.

I walk back out to the living room, noticing that Rose is now sitting on the couch painting her nails.

"Hey, we're going out," I call out to her.

"K," she answers not giving a shit.

As I start to walk away she calls back to us. "Hey, I met a new guy yesterday. He wants us to come have drinks where he works. You guy want to come with?"

I look over at Edward, silently asking for an answer. All he does is shrug.

"Yeah sure. What time?"

"Just meet us back here at 8," she responds.

"Ok," I say, grabbing Edward's hand and walking towards the front door.

Edward and I spend the rest of the afternoon walking around downtown Seattle, stopping off to get a bite to eat. When the sun starts to go down, we may our way back home.

When we get back to the apartment, I can instantly feel the tension in the air. I peep out onto the balcony, and I instantly see Rose and Alice sitting together.

"Hey, I'll meet you inside," I say to Edward, nodding toward my bedroom.

I slide open the glass door quietly, and then make my way over to them.

"Everything ok?" I ask, knowing the answer is probably no.

I look over at Rose, and she closes her eyes and shakes her head.

"So….what's going on…." I say, trying to act like I don't know.

"It's ok Bella, I know you know…." Alice says softly.

I walk around so that I am now facing her.

"Are you ok?" I ask.

A smile comes across her face. "Yes…just a little shocked you know."

"I don't know if I'm allowed to ask this….but is it Jackson's?"

She looks up at me, "Of course its Jackson's."

I don't know whether to be happy or extremely scared.

"Have you told him?"

"No…" she whispers.

"Tell me you're getting rid of it," Rose snaps.

I look over at Rose, giving her my bitchiest look. Alice bolts out of her chair, running back inside.

"Nice fucking move Rose," I say rolling my eyes.

I walk back into the house, heading for my bedroom. When I get there, I see Edward kicked back on my bed.

"Everything ok?" he asks.

"Uhh yes…and no."

"Anything I can do?"

"Well, since your Jackson's cousin. Tell me how he is going to react."

"So it's for sure Jackson's?"

"Definitely. Alice's isn't the type to sleep around. She seemed pretty positive about it."

He furrows his brow.

"I think Jackson will be stoked," he smiles. "Jackson has always had an old soul. He's been very mature even from a young age."

I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Is she keeping it?" he adds.

"Oh yeah," I smile. "The word abortion isn't even in her vocabulary."

I look down at my feet, feeling awkward asking this next question.

"Can Jackson, ya know…support…them?" I ask, biting my lip.

"And what makes you think he can't?" Edward asks confused.

"I didn't say I didn't, it's just that he works two jobs…."

Edward laughs. "Jackson's father, Preston, my uncle on my mother's side, owns his own law firm back in Texas. He also owns my grandparent's ranch there too. He was never very stingy with giving his kids the money they don't necessarily need. Jackson just CHOOSES to work two jobs."

"Oh. But if Jackson's parents live back in Texas, why does he live in Nevada?"

He smiles. "Jackson likes to move around a lot. He's only been living in Reno for about a year. Maybe Seattle will be his next stop," he says winking.

I walk over to the bed, and sit down between Edward's legs, leaning back against his chest.

_I think I've had enough baby talk for one day. _

Edward and I fall asleep together on my bed, the emotional day taking all my energy. However, we are abruptly awaken when Rose comes barging in…again.

"What the fuck?" she screams. "Its 7:45…."

"So…." I say, nuzzling into Edward's chest.

"So, you said you'd go with me to have drinks…" she says.

I can hear her stiletto tapping against the floor.

"I'm coming," I shout at her. "Can you get the fuck out of my room so I can change?"

"Jesus," she says as she closes the door behind her.

"Sorry," I say embarrassed. "Ready to go be sociable?"

I hear a growl leave him. "I was hoping to spend the rest of the night in this bed with you."

_Fuck._

I smile, remising about the past. "One drink."

A huge smile comes across his face. "One drink."

I lean back down, giving his a kiss. "Then I'll come back and ride YOUR bucking bronco."

"Can't wait for it little lady," he says, tipping his hat.

I quickly jump up and change my clothes. Edward takes a quick shower and throws on some new jeans and a black button up shirt, and slides his hat back on over his damp hair. When we walk back out to the living room, I see Rose waiting for us.

"You ready?" she asks tapping her nails against the counter.

"Cool it bitch," I snap.

I look over to see Alice wrapped up in a blanket on the couch.

_Maybe she wants to be left alone._

I start heading for the door when I notice that Edward is not behind me. I spin around to see him standing in front of Alice.

"Come on kid. You're coming with us," he says holding his hand out to her, with one a huge smile on his face.

I see Alice's hand come up, a small smirk spreads across her face as Edward lifts her off the couch in one swift motion. Edward begins to walk over to me, Alice still in tow.

_Could this man be ANY sweeter? _

The four of us head out of the apartment, walking in the nice night air. I am having an incredibly good time already, but I knew it couldn't last long. My heart suddenly drops when we reach our destination…. The Ram.

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**A/N: I honestly don't know when I will update next, I am a Baker in real life and week of Easter = hell, so I had NO time to write this week, but I will get it up ASAP! **


	18. Chapter 18 Won't Be Lonely Long

**A/N: Just a quick shoutout to my fuckawesome beta...love you!**

**And to those that are inquiring about the prologue...it will be coming up soon, but if you remember, Edward and Bella have to see each other for a whole year, so its still a little ways until we get to that point. That being said, I can promise tons of angst (and maybe some tears) in the chapters following this.**

**Thanks again to everyone still reading and reviewing! I love you all!**

**Oh AND Perfectly Lonely is still nominated for a TON of Sunflower Awards so make sure to vote! I was also confronted to have PL translated into French which is super exciting for me! **

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**BPOV**

I stop in my tracks, Edward noticing.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

I look up at him, putting on my fakest smile.

"Oh…nothing."

_Maybe he's not working tonight._

Edward takes my hand, leading me into the extremely crowded bar. My eyes scan the room, looking for sandy blonde hair behind the bar, but nothing stands out. I can feel my body relax slightly. We make our way through the crowd, the music so fucking loud I can barely hear my own thoughts. Rose continues making her way to the back. When we reach a table a young man stands up, giving Rose a hug.

_Must be the awesome guy were meeting. _

I look over at the table, realizing that there are three other boys.

_Jesus Christ. _

Rose turns around, grabbing me by the arm.

"Bella, this is Ben," she says, pertaining to the man that just hugged her.

I reach out, shaking his hand. "Nice to meet you," I say, not really listening to the greeting he says back.

"And this is Tyler, Eric, and James," she says pointing to the men at the table, none of them saying anything in return, but instead eyeing me very uncomfortably.

_When did it become a regular thing for boys my age to become such….assholes? _

I take a step back, reaching for Edwards arm. I grab it, making him come forward.

"And this is my _boyfriend_ Edward," I say, putting emphasis on the B word.

Before any of them get the chance to say anything, I take off towards the bar, dragging Edward and Alice with me. Before Alice and I can even reach a stool, Edward pulls one out for each of us.

_Watch and learn._

I slide onto the seat, looking around the bar. There are men in stripped polo shirts everywhere, all of them have more products in their hair than Rose and I combined. Alice is seated on my left, and Edward slides onto the stool to my right, taking his hat off and placing it on the bar. I continue to look around, and now notice people are staring…and whispering.

_Poor Edward sticks out like a sore thumb. Haven't these people ever seen a cowboy hat before__?_

I look over at him, giving an "I so don't want to fucking be here look." He just looks over and smiles.

"What can I get you to drink my love?" he asks.

_My love. Will I ever get use to him saying that? No. Probably not._

"Whatever you're having cowboy," I smirk.

Edward smiles, and then turns to call out to the bartender.

"Excuse me sir," he says to the man with his back to us.

The boy begins to turn around and I almost flip my shit.

"Heyyyy Bella!" Mike says, completely ignoring Edward's request.

_How the fuck did he pop out of nowhere. _

"Hey Mike," I say, with no excitement in my voice.

"So you decided to come down and have a drink after all," he says, leaning over the bar, one of his hands on my arm.

He's so close I can smell his shitty aftershave.

_Ever heard of personal fucking space?_

I look out of the corner of my eyes at Edward. He currently is sporting a grin, a mixture somewhere in between aggravated and amused.

"Well, I actually came down here with some friends."

"Sure you did," Mike says, winking.

_Ok, that's enough. Bear with me Edward. _

I lean closer in my chair, so that my face is mere inches from Mikes.

"Hey Mike," I breathe out.

"Yeah Bella," he says with a large grin on his face.

"Actually…" I say biting my lip. "I came here with my boyfriend Edward."

I lean back down in my chair, my inner bitch glowing. That's when I see Edward stand up, towering over Mike.

"Nice to meet you…Mike is it?" Edward says holding out his hand, an even bigger smirk on his face than before.

My eyes shift to Mike, who now looks like someone just ran over his puppy.

"Nice…..to…meet you," he says slowly, shaking Edward's hand.

We all 3 stare at each other for a few seconds, the situation now incredibly awkward.

"Hey…so can we get some drinks man," Edward states. "You are…the bartender right?"

_1 point Masen._

Mike looks over at Edward, his eyes widening.

"Sure thing," he says.

"Most expensive whiskey you got," Edward states.

Mike turns around, reaching for a bottle off the high shelf. He then faces Edward, sliding the bottle onto the bar top.

"9.00 a shot," he says in a cocky attitude.

Edward narrows his eyes at Mike.

_Holy shit. Are they gonna fucking break out in a duel or something._

"I'll take the bottle," Edward says aggravated.

"Sure you can afford it cowboy? It's single barrel, $67.00."

I laugh. If Mike only knew.

Edward shakes his head slowly, his nostrils flaring and I can see his shoulders are tense.

"And I'll take a water," Alice pipes up.

_Thank you Alice._

Both boys shift their fiery stares from each other, Mike leaving to go get Alice's water.

"Can you bring us two glasses for the whiskey," Edward calls out to him.

Mike looks back at us, a pissy look on his face.

"That guy is a fucking douche bag," Edward mutters.

_Honestly, couldn't agree more._

"Guess I shouldn't tell you I dated him then huh?"

Edwards head snaps to me, his eyes widening.

_Bad move Bella. _

I can instantly feel my face warming up, my stomach doing flip flops.

"You DATED that fucker," he says, his finger pointing in Mike's direction.

I bite my lip, not really wanting to answer that question.

_We should have just left as soon as I knew we were headed here._

"Uh huh," I mutter.

Edward exhales sharply, "Don't tell me…"

I nod my head up and down slowly.

"I should rip his fucking dick off," he says, then pauses. "How long ago?"

"Years….back in high school," I spit out. "If it makes you feel any better, it was fucking awful."

I already know this is making Edward uncomfortable, considering his…past.

"It's true, she used to say how tiny his dick was all the time," Alice says joining the conversation.

_I love Alice. _

"We can go," I say under my breath.

Edward turns his body to face me, "Let's dance."

I think my heart skips a beat, and now I definitely feel queasy. I just sit there and stare at him.

"What?"

Before I can answer, Mike comes back with Alice's water and our glasses.

"Thank you," Edward says condescendingly.

Edward grabs the bottle from the bar top, pouring me a shot, and then himself a double. The three of us clink glasses, then Edward and I throw them back, Edward swallowing it in one gulp. I drink mine, loving how smooth it is compared to regular Jack.

"Mmmm," I say, holding out my glass to Edward.

He wraps his hand around the glass, his fingertips grazing mine.

_Fuck, I need this man in my bed._

He takes it from me, refilling my glass, and then his own. After we both throw back another shot, I start to feel a little…loose. Edward gets up from his chair, and then leans in close to my ear. His cologne surrounds me, his rough stubble grazing my cheek.

"Dance with me Bella," he whispers, than holds his hand out.

I smile, "I can't dance. I have two left feet…I'll probably fall flat on my face."

"Don't worry, I would never let you fall," he breathes.

I slide my hand in his, and slowly slide off the bar stool. I glance over at Alice, a look of horror on my face.

"Have fun," she giggles, taking a sip of her water.

I narrow my eyes at her. Edward and I make it onto the dance floor, and I am kinda happy to see that it's crowded. The song currently playing is fast paced. I can feel my heart rate leans in close to me, his lips mere inches from mine, holding there. No parts of our bodies are touching, but Ican feel the electricity between us.

"Just let your body feel the music," he says in the most panty melting tone.

I begin to move my hips, the rest of my body following. A huge smile comes across Edward's face and I can't help but laugh. Edward's hand comes out, wrapping it around my backside. I take a deep breath. Edward and I start to move in unison, my inhibitions leaving me. Just when I was getting into the "groove" the song ends, but Edward and I remain attached. A few seconds later a song I have actually heard before comes on.

When the beat picks up, I give Edward a wicked grin. I pull his hand off my back, confusing him. I then turn around so my back is facing him, my ass pressed against his groin. I begin to move my hips, pushing hard with every thrust. I can feel the warmth flowing through my veins, my inhibitions definitely leaving me. I reach backwards, throwing my arm around his neck. I continue to dance, knowing exactly what I am doing.

"Fuck Bella," he says in my ear.

He reaches up, grabbing my arms from his neck, forcing me to turn back around. He then takes my hand, placing my palm on his straining dick. A gasp leaves my throat and my eyes shift around the room, feeling like someone is watching. The only pair of eyes I see looking back at me is Mike.

_Why am I not surprised?_

I smile to myself, then grab onto it through his jeans, feeling its length.

_I need this man inside me. Now._

I grin, standing on my tippy toes.

"Wanna get out of here?" I whisper.

Edward doesn't answer, but instead nods his head. I pull myself from him, taking his hand and dragging him back towards the bar.

I walk up to Alice who is still sitting where we left her. I instantly feel guilty.

She smiles at us. "Go," she says.

"But what about you?"

"I'll be fine. I promise."

I lean down, giving her a hug.

"Just be…safe…" she whispers, knowing exactly what she is talking about.

I give her a wink. Edward goes and grabs the bottle of Jack off the bar and starts making his way to the table that Rose and the boys are at. I see him slide it across the table, all the boys faces lighting up.

"You just gave away a 70 dollar bottle of Jack," I say to him.

"Well I wasn't planning on drinking all of it alone," he says in a cocky tone.

"Then why the hell did you buy an ENTIRE bottle?" I ask.

"To prove to that fucker that I wasn't a dumb redneck," he says nodding his head towards Mike.

"I'm sure he didn't think you were."

Edward laughs, "Bella, I know what people think when they see a guy walk in with a hat and boots on."

I want to dismiss what he's saying, but unfortunately, I was one of those people at one point.

"Yeah…" I say lightly. "But you are FAR from stupid Edward."

I reach up kissing his mouth, letting my tongue glide across his teeth.

"Come on cowboy, I'll show you a good time" I say, making my way out of the bar.

The cool night air feeling good against my heated skin. Edward and I walk along the street hand in hand. A small part of me still feels like he isn't here, like I am going to wake up from this dream. When we reach the apartment I feel giddy, my insides already clenching from knowing what's coming. I hastily pull out my keys, opening the front door. Before I can even make it through the door, Edward grabs me, throwing me over his shoulder. He rushes through the apartment, flinging open my bedroom door. Edward lets go of me suddenly, my body bouncing off my bed. He then leans down, giving me a soft kiss on my mouth.

"I have a surprise for you," he says, an almost wicked grin on his face.

He pulls back, walking over to his bag on the floor. I sit up, watching him. A few seconds later, I see a long rope in his hand.

Ok, NOW my heart is definitely going to pop out of my chest, and now I can remember the text message from last week.

_I might just have to give you a time out then. Or maybe a tie down._

My insides instantly start clenching, but a small part of me is scared. I've never been…tied down. Edward turns back around, slowly making his way back to the bed. He climbs ontop of me, kissing my neck.

"Guess you never go back on your word, do you?" I say, laughing nervously.

He pulls his face from my collarbone.

"Never," he states in a serious tone.

He then climbs back off me, letting a free end of the rope fall from his hand.

"But I would never do anything to harm you, you know that. Or make you do anything you don't want to," he states, looking down at the rope.

"But what if I want to," I say, biting my lip.

A small smile spreads across his face, but then disappears instantly.

"Bella, take off your clothes….slowly," he demands.

_Fuck me._

I reach up, pulling my shirt off over my head, and watching Edward, watch me. I then reach down, unbuttoning my pants, then kick them off with my feet. When I am just down to panties and a bra, Edward walks over, placing his hand between my legs. His light touch turns my body to Jell-O, my breathing becomes hitched. His fingers trail up my stomach and then reach around, unhooking my bra in a split second. He bends down, his warm tongue tracing my nipple, and then bites on it gently. I can't contain the copious amount of moans leaving me. Edward then travels back down my body, his teeth clamping down on the thin strap on my G-string. He drags his face downward, pulling it off slowly. Leaning up, he looks me in the eyes.

"Put your hands together, above your head," he commands.

_Clench._

I do as I'm told, putting my wrists together above my head. Edward walks to the right side of me, working quickly using the rope to tie my hands together, and then ties them to my headboard.

_He DOES spend a lot of time tying knots._

My heart is beating so fast that I feel as though I am going to pass out, and just want him inside of me. Edward then undresses, and climbs onto the bed, but doesn't get on top of me. Instead he sits off to the side, only letting his lips touch me. He places small on my feet, then travels up my leg, lingering on my kneecap, then makes his way to my girly bits, them already soaked from the bar. He sticks the tip of his tongue between my lips, its tracing over my clit.

"Fuck," I spit out, my hips rising in the air.

Edward's hand comes us, pushing my back down. He continues to tease, my body craving him. His mouth leaves my sex, traveling over my body, his mouth touching every inch of me. A few seconds later, he climbs on top of me, and I can feel his hard dick against my stomach.

"Edward," I say panting.

His green eyes boar into mine, and at that moment I have never wanted him more in my life.

"Fuck me," I say sternly.

Edward begins to laugh.

"Only one of us gets to call the shots," he says smiling. "And right now, that's me."

He gets back off the bed, and walks over to the side of me. I can see that his cock is extremely hard, noticing it right at my eye line.

"Close your eyes," he commands.

My heart lurches, but I do as I am told. A few seconds later I feel fabric on my face.

"Now Bella, at anytime you feel like it's too much, I want you to tell me to stop and I will unblindfold and untie you."

"Ok," I squeak out.

"Just say stop. Or say a magic word, ok? What do you want that word to be?" he asks.

I smile. "Cowboy."

I can hear him laugh.

"Ok," he says.

Then the room falls silent, my senses becoming disoriented. I can't feel Edward around me, nor can I hear him. The only thing I hear it my heartbeat. I then hear a drawer shut, and I can tell from the sound what drawer it was.

_Oh god._

The room falls silent again, until I feel Edward's hand of the opposite side than I thought he would be. I then feel cool plastic in between my legs and I think I am going to come right then and there, until I hear him switch it on, the vibration sound filling my ears. It is now that it confirms that Edward has found my vibrator in my nightstand.

"Spread your legs," he says and I continue to follow his every command.

I feel the vibrations take over as he slides the toy into my sex. He starts to pull in and out of me slowly, teasing me with every thrust. I then feel his tongue on my clit, sending me even more into a frenzy.

"Fuck Edward," I squeal out. "That feels so fucking good."

Just as I utter those words, Edward pulls the vibrator from me. I instantly pout my lips and curse his name under my breath.

_Fucking tease._

The room falls silent again, except that I can make out Edward's breath this time. He is breathing heavily, and I know that he is aroused. Soon after, the bed indents and I can feel his chest now on top of mine. I want nothing more that to touch him, to run my fingernails down his back, to put my fingers through his hair, but alas I can't due to the restraints.

_Guess that's the point. _

I lean up, my lips finding what I think is Edward's collarbone. I continue to kiss it, hoping he'll feel my desperation. I feel Edward's hand travel up my side. He grabs my nipples, pulling on them.

"Are you ready," he says still in his commanding voice.

"Fuck yes," I breathe out.

I then feel Edward's hand around the back of my head again, the blindfold leaving my face. I flutter my eyes open, making out Edward's figure in front of me. He then reaches down, grabbing his massive cock in his hands. He lines it up with my wet center, and slowly inserts the end, but then pulls it back out. He does this multiple times. By about the fourth pass I am ready to bite through this fucking rope and shove his dick inside me. Somehow Edward must be reading my thoughts because not a second later he pushes inside of me fully. I let out a loud moan, throwing my head back in pleasure. The time apart has definitely made things…tighter.

"Fuck," Edward says, his voice not so stern anymore.

I lean up, slamming my mouth to his, assaulting it with my tongue. His dick pumping inside me feels incredibly good, each thrust almost sending me over the edge. Every moan is followed by a shiver, and a threat of tears. My desire to touch him grows, but I still can't move my hands. Damn rope. Damn cowboy-tied-knots. Instead I wrap my legs around his waist, and pull, making his body close to me as possible.

"God how I have missed this," he spits out.

"You have no fucking idea," I respond.

He continues to thrust into me, and I can't hold on anymore.

"Edward, I think…." I admit, but can't finish my sentence.

My orgasm rips through me. I scream out. Loudly. Edward puts his hand over my mouth lightly, muffling the sound.

"Shh…," he says smiling. "The girls are back."

I widen my eyes at him.

_Ahh. Fuck it. _

He slowly pulls his hand from my mouth, and leans down and places a soft kiss on my mouth.

"I love you," he says softly.

"I love you too," I respond.

"Now," he begins. "I will un tie you if you promise to be a bad girl," he smiles.

"Now THAT is a promise I can fulfill," I answer back, raising my eyebrow.

He reaches up, and begins to untie me. However, he is taking his time. I give him my biggest bitchface and he notices. A laugh escapes both of us.

"Patience is a virtue," he says.

As soon as I am free, I clamp onto his back. He begins to thrust again, and I swear his girth grew even more. He starts to thrust again.

"Bella, turn over," he says, back to his authoritative voice.

My insides clench again. My new favorite position. I do as I'm told, and get on all fours. I sit there staring at my headboard, waiting for him to enter me. However, I feel his arm grab hold underneath my stomach, and I am pulled through the air like I'm weightless. He sets me down so that I am now on all fours on the _side_of the bed. Edward is now standing next to the bed, his center lined up with mine. He enters me again, the sensation changing drastically. Edward hand trails up my back and locks around my loose hair, pulling on it slightly. His pace begins to quicken, our hot bodies slamming against each other. His other hand comes around, it cupping my right breast. I can hear Edward breathing incredibly hard now and I know that he is almost ready to come.

"Jesus Christ Bella, you're ass is perfect. So glad it's mine."

I bend around to look at him, giving him my sexiest grin. He then closes his eyes, pumping as fast as he can go, then stops immediately. I can feel his cock pulsate in me. And much to my surprise, the sensation is incredibly turning me on and a second orgasm flows through me. I scream out as Edward tugs on my ponytail. His fingers dig into my hip bone as he rides out his orgasm. When it subsides Edward slowly slides out of me, my sex already missing him being there.

My arms buckle, my face hitting the bed. I can hear Edward laugh.

"You ok?" he asks.

I flip over slowly, my hair splayed across my face.

"Fuck. That was.." I sputter out. "That was fucking incredible."

Edward leans over me and I now notice that he is wearing a condom.

_Must have put it on while I was blind folded. Thank god. _

He bends over, giving me a kiss on the forehead.

"I need to use the restroom," he whispers.

"Ok," I say, barely being able to form words.

Edward wraps himself in a towel, and leaves the room. I lay there in the dark, my body trying to re regulate itself from two fucking amazing orgasms. Within minutes I can't seem to hold my eyes open any longer, and I fall into a deep sleep.

The next morning I wake up alone in my bed. I sit upright, looking over at the clock.

_10:30_

Shit. Little more than 24 hours until Edward leaves. Moments later my nostrils are attacked with the smell of breakfast, and I know for sure that ain't Rose or Alice. I get out of bed, noticing that I am still naked from the night before. I throw on a pair of pj pants and a zip up hoodie, skipping on putting on underwear or a bra. I make my into the kitchen and stop in my tracks. Edward is standing in the middle of kitchen, with a spatula in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. His hair looks messy but in that "I had rough sex last night" kind of way. The best part? He is wearing nothing but a pair of black workout sweats, and a kitchen towel thrown over his naked shoulder. I get this intense desire to throw him up against the cabinets and fuck his brains out. But of course, we have an audience.

Rose and Alice are currently sitting at the breakfast counter, with plates full of food in front of them. A few seconds later Edward notices me.

"Morning sleepy head."

Rose and Alice turn to me, each of them with a huge smiles on their faces.

_Yeah, he's mine. He's a cooking sex god. Be jealous. _

I walk into the kitchen, wrapping my arms around him and giving him a small kiss.

"Good night huh?" Alice says laughing.

I turn around to face her. "Very good night."

"Why don't you sit down over there," Edward says pointing to the empty chair next to Alice.

I slide into the empty chair, and the three of us continue to stare. Edward moves smoothly in the kitchen, everything so clean and organized. I watch him pour the batter into the pan, each pancake exactly the same size. I daydream about licking that batter off his neck. And then his chest, and then his...

"Bella?"

I snap out of my food porn to see him standing in front of me.

"Are you ok?"

"Huh? Yeah…" I answer. "What did you say?"

He smiles. "How many do you want?"

"Uhhh," I see him holding out a spatula full of pancakes. "Three please."

"Jesus, someone hungry," Rose says.

"Bite me Rose, I'm fucking famished," I say, then pausing. "At least _one_ of us got a workout last night."

I smile, and then shift my eyes to Edward, winking. When the girls finish eating they excuse themselves and it's just Edward and I left.

"Thanks for breakfast," I say, shoving a forkful of pancake in my mouth. "But where the hell did you get the stuff to make it?"

"I went for a jog this morning and stopped by the grocery store."

I choke on my food. "You went for a _jog?_"

"Yeah," he says smiling. "I'm used to getting up so early…"

"Why didn't you wake me? I would have gone with you."

_That's a lie._

He laughs. "Sure you would have."

"Ok, that's a lie. I can't run for shit."

"Why does that not surprise me," he says, kissing my on top of my head. "Wouldn't have my Bella any other way."

_His mom taught him well._

I eat the rest of my breakfast, feeling completely fulfilled in every way. Edward starts to do the dishes when I stop him.

"The cook shouldn't have to clean, I'll do it."

He smiles, and scoots over.

"We'll do it together."

Edward and I stand there, me washing and him drying and putting them away, of course each in it proper place. When we finish up we walk back into my bedroom.

"What do you want to do today?" I ask.

"If it's ok with you, I already have something planned."

I look at him confused.

"Ok," I say hesitantly.

"Well why don't we go take a shower then," he says, holding his hand out to me.

After a quick shower that includes a little play time, Edward and I head out of the apartment. We climb into his rental car, and at this point I am just a passenger.

"Where we going?"I ask almost giddy.

Edward smiles."Were off to get something that will make me feel a whole lot better."

"Well, the sex shop is back that way," I laugh, pointing behind me.

I see Edward smile, shaking his head. We continue to drive in the downtown area until we pull up into an unfamiliar parking lot.

"Edward, where the hell…" I start to say, but then my eyes find the sign on the building.

"Seattle Humane Society"

I whip around to face Edward, a huge smile on my face. Edward notices my smile, but only returns a small one, a look like he is almost studying me.

"Are we getting a dog?" I giggle, acting like a 5 year old.

"Possibly," he says, now grinning. "Is that…ok?"

"OK!" I actually do jumpy clap like a 5 year old now. "I have wanted a dog my entire life!"

He chuckles. "I know."

I look at him confused. "How…do you know?"

"I was talking to the girls about it this morning."

I think I gasp a little.

"You talked to the girls about getting a dog?"

"Of course I did Bella, it will be living with them too."

I unbuckle my seatbelt and fly into Edward's arm.

"I love you way too much for my own good," I admit.

"Should I be flattered by that?" he asks laughing.

"Absolutely," I say, giving him a peck on the cheek.

I pull myself from the car, excited to go look at the dogs.

"Come on," I call out to Edward, who is taking his dear sweet time.

He gets out of the car and walks up to me, taking my hands. I begin bouncing up and down like a child when we reach the reception counter and I can hear the doggies barking.

"Can I help you?" an older woman asks.

"Yeah, were here to look at your dogs," Edward says.

The older lady gives him a big smile.

"They're through that door," she says pointing.

Edward and I make our way through the door and all I can see is rows of chain link fences. My heart instantly hurts.

As we walk down, I peek into each cage, each one making me more sad than the last.

_How am I going to choose just one?_

There are so many here. I read each of the descriptions, some saying that their parents abandoned them. My heart breaks a little. How could someone be so cruel. When I get to the end, I stop as my eyes meet a bright blue set coming from inside a dog house. I look at the information on the clipboard.

"Bree," I read aloud.

As soon as I say her name, she comes flying out of the dog house and sits up close to the fence. I bend down, sticking my fingers in the cage.

"Hey girl," I say smiling.

She is so beautiful and tiny. Her coat consists of multiple colors in an almost brindled pattern.

"Edward," I say in a whisper, calling him over.

He comes and kneels at my side.

"She's beautiful," he says in a hushed tone.

"Can I help you?" a man says coming around the corner.

Edward stands up.

"Yes, we'd like to see her," he says pointing to the cage.

"Absolutely," the man says, opening up the gate.

Bree bolts out of the cage and runs down the hallway, all the other dogs barking like crazy. I laugh, following her. She is a free spirit. I love her already. When we get to the end of the hallway, I bend down, picking her up.

We make our way to a small room, the guy giving us some private time with her. I sit down on the floor and she immediately jumps on me, licking me all over my face.

"Well she won't do," Edward states.

I snap my head up, giving him a horrified look.

"What?"

"Bella, the whole point is getting you a dog that will protect you, not lick the intruder to death."

_Oh. _

"You're getting me a dog because you think I need protection?" I ask.

_That's why he asked if the three of us live alone._

Edward just smiles.

"So protective," I say in a low voice while shaking my head.

He leans down, giving me a kiss on my forehead.

"Bella, you are my life. And I will do everything in my power to keep you safe." He pauses. "I love you Bella, more than I could ever explain. You saved me."

I can feel myself blush. I get up from the floor, and wrap my arms around him.

"It was my pleasure," I say, kissing him. "And I love you too Edward."

He pulls me in closer, our mouths still connected. We're making out like a bunch of teenagers when we hear a throat clear behind us.

"Do you two still need some more time?" the older man from before asks.

I look up at Edward, and flutter my eyelashes at him.

"No," he states. "We'll take her."

I squeal, hugging Edward.

We spend the next hour filling out paperwork. You'd think we were buying a fucking house. Once we leave, I put Bree in my lap, letting her hang her head out the window. She looks like she is in pure heaven.

I turn to Edward.

"Thank you."

"Your very welcome my love," he responds as he picks up my hand, and kisses it.

When we make it back to the apartment, Rose and Alice aren't home. I show Bree around the place, letting her get familiar with the surroundings. It feels incredibly awkward to have a living creature in this house. I couldn't even keep my goldfish alive for longer than a week.

"What do you want to do tonight?" I ask Edward.

"Absolutely nothing," he says, taking my hand and pulling me onto the couch. "I want to spend it with you."

I lean over, kissing him. Not a second later, Bree jumps over the back of the couch, crashing right into us. We both start laughing hysterically.

"Ok, you can join too," Edward says, rubbing her head.

Edward and I spend the rest of the night on the couch, just watching TV and snuggling with Bree nestled inbetween us. It's a perfect night to cap off an exciting day and I try to focus on the happiness that is filling my heart. But deep down, I'm starting to miss him again already and he's not even gone.

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**So...next chapter will be a doozy. But good news it is incredibly long, so it might be separated into two parts. We'll see!**

**See ya'll in Vegas! **


	19. Chapter 19 Heartbreak Warfare Part 1

**So here we are again! Thanks to everyone still reviewing and reading! I love you ALL!**

**Quick shoutout to my beta TwoPeas1Pod, love you soooo much!**

**Also another shoutout to DiosaNy09 who put in a "request" for a certain lemon in this chapter! Hope you like it!**

**ANOTHER shoutout to my girl eveningrainjlho for her awesome help in Las Vegas locations! :)  
**

**So this chapter is incredibly long, I think it surpassed the 10K mark...**

**And just a warning that this chapter (and the next) jump's POV's a lot..it was essential to show you the little bits for it to make sense, so I hope its not too confusing!  
**

**As ever I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**BPOV**

When Edward left, things went back to normal. Bree and I got into a routine and having her to keep me company made his absence a little easier. I don't feel so _alone_ anymore. I spent the week wrapped up in my school work, trying to keep my mind off this weekend. I know how important this weekend is to Edward, even though he acts like he doesn't care. I really want things to be calm for him, but that never seems to be the case with us.

However, today I am doing something extremely important, something I have needed to do for a long time.

"Bella Swan," a young nurse comes out, my chart in her hand.

I get up from my chair, and follow her down the drab, sterile hallway.

_I really hate doctor's offices. _

I walk into the room, sitting up on the table, the paper crinkling underneath me.

"So Miss Swan," the nurse says, looking down at my chart. "What are you in here for?"

"Uh, I need to be put on birth control," I say in a whisper, like I'm almost ashamed of it.

She jots something down.

"Ok," she starts. "Have you been on it before?"

"No."

She writes something else. I instantly become agitated.

_I'm going to rip that fucking pen out of her hand if she doesn't stop writing shit down everytime I open my mouth! _

She stops writing and finally looks up at me.

"Well since you have never been on it before, and I'm taking you want to be on it because you are sexually active, you'll have to have a PAP as well."

_Fucking great._

She pulls out a gown from the drawer.

"Gown opens in front," she says. "And this is for your lap. The doctor will be in shortly."

She turns and leaves. I begin to undress quickly, already feeling awkward. I slide on the flimsy paper gown, feeling just as naked. I then slide back onto the table and I wait….and wait...and wait.

What seems like forever, I hear a light knock on the door.

"Come in," I squeak out.

My stomach instantly drops. This is not the doctor I normally see.

"Hello Miss Swan, I'm Dr. Tanner," the tall male _handsome _doctor says.

"Hello," I pipe. "What happened to Dr. Brandon?"

"She on vacation this week."

_Of course she is. That's just how my life goes. Isn't there some law against gynos being hawt?_

"I see that you want to be put on birth control," he says staring at my chart.

"Yes."

_What male in their right mind would become a gynecologist? He's probably a pervert. _

"And you have never been on it before?"

"No."

He then proceeds for the next 10 minutes to tell me about all the different types of birth control and theire side effects. He even asks me how many sexual partners I have. I think my eyes close at one point.

"So which would you like to try?"

"Umm," I start.

_I'd probably forget to take a pill every day because I'm so fucking scatter brained. _

"The shot I think."

"Ok, sounds great."

He gets up from his stool, and walks over to me.

"Now if you'll lean back and put your foot in the stirrups, we can get your exam done."

My heart begins to race. I've had a pap smear every year since I was 18, my mom always adamant about me having them. But I've never had a male gynecologist before. I slide down and place my heels in the stirrups. The next 5 minutes was probably the most uncomfortable minutes of my life. All I can think about is how much Edward would be flipping out if he knew what was going down. When he is finished he goes and grabs a needle from the drawer, filling it with a solution.

_Fuck Bella. Why did you choose the SHOT?_

He walks back over to me, and asks me to stand up. I widen my eyes, not realizing that the shot goes in your ASS. I turn around, my knees shaking a little. Nothing like having you bare ass on display for a hot male doctor. A second later I feel a pinch, and just like that it's over.

"Were all done here Miss Swan," he says pulling off his rubber gloves. "You can put your clothes back on."

"Thank you."

He leaves, and I breathe a sigh of relief. Not a minute later I hear my phone vibrate inside my purse. I pull it out, seeing Edward's name flash on it. I laugh to myself.

"Hey cowboy," I say.

"Hello beautiful," he voice purrs.

_How can I still get giddy just hearing his voice?_

"Whatcha up to?" he asks.

"Just got done at the doctor's."

"Bella, is everything ok?" he asks in a serious tone.

"Oh yeah!" I giggle. "I'm at the _girl_ doctor."

"Ahh enough said."

"Just so you know, we don't have to use condoms anymore."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah, I'm on the shot now."

I can almost hear him smile on the other end. I then hear another knock on the door, Dr. Tanner re enters the room.

"Miss…" he starts to say until he sees that I am on the phone.

"Hold on Edward," I tell him, pulling the phone from my ear.

"I just wanted to give you this pamphlet about the HPV vaccine. Something to think about."

"Thank you," I say quietly, taking it from him.

I put the phone back to my ear.

"Hello…" I say after there are a few seconds of silence.

"Who was that?" Edward asks.

_Shit._

"Uhh my doctor…"

"Your doctor is a man…" he asks in a stern voice.

"Yes…"

_A hot man._

"Awesome…."

"Edward, he's a doctor. He see's tons of vagina's every day."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"You have to stop Edward. The jealous thing is getting out of hand."

I hear him sigh. "Your right, I'm sorry. I just can't imagine another guy seeing you down there. It's mine, and I will not share you."

"Well, how many times to do I have to tell you. I. Am. Yours."

"I know. I'm working on it."

We both sit there silent.

"Is…there a reason you called?" I ask.

"Oh yeah, just wanted to make sure you girls got your airline tickets."

"We did! Rose and Alice are excited to fly on the jet again. Can't lie, I am too!"

"Ok good."

I slide off the seat, thinking they probably need this room for another patient. I open up the door, and make my way down the hallway. Just as I round the corner, I feel my elbow bump into someone.

"Oh sorry," I blurt out, but then my eyes meet Alice's.

I stare at her, almost like she is a ghost.

"Hey Edward…" I say into the phone, still looking at Alice.

"Yeah babe?"

"I gotta go, I'll call you later," I say, clicking the phone off.

"Alice what are you doing here?"

_That was a stupid question._

"I'm 9 weeks," she spits out, a smirk on her face.

She is looking down at a piece of paper.

"Is that…it?" I say, pointing down at it, a tiny blob in the middle of the picture.

"Her," she states.

"The doctor already told you what it is?"

She laughs. "No, it's way too early for that Bella. But I just _know _it's a girl."

_Alice and her visions. _

"Why didn't you tell me you had an appointment today. That something you shouldn't have to face alone."

"I don't know. It's just something I felt I had to do on my own."

Things fall silent temporarily.

"When are you going to tell him?"

She looks up at me finally. "This weekend."

"Are you scared?"

"No, I'm not. I know I should be. I should be freaking out right? I should be a huge mess. But you know me. I just sense things right? And for some reason I just feel like this is going to work out for the best. I can _see _ that it will be ok. I just want to tell him in person. You know?"

"You're one of the strongest people I know Alice. And if there is one person on Earth who should trust her gut it's you. Everything is gonna be just fine."

I link my arm into Alice's and we make our way out of the doctor's office together.

_This is going to be SOME weekend._

**Fast Forward: Friday Morning**

I know it's only been a little over a week since I last saw Edward, but I am as giddy as a six year old waiting to open Christmas presents. Rose, Alice and I are sitting comfortably in our seats on the airplane enjoying the wide open space, frosty cold beverages and unlimited snacks. I can officially say it, flying on a private plane totally kicks ass. Way better than being folded like a sardine sitting in coach.

"Ma'am, would you mind buckling your seatbelt, were about to arrive in Reno," a leggy stewardess asks.

_Edward. _

For some reason I feel like I am going home, not that I just left it behind. I hope to call this my home…someday. 10 minutes later the plane touches down. Even after months together, he still makes my heart race. As soon as the seatbelt sign dings, I throw it off, and run over to the side window.

Standing there is my cowboy, along with those two other mongrels. Edward immediately notices me in the window, giving me a small tip of his hat.

_This man will be the death of me, I swear._

I stand up, waiting impatiently for the stewardess to open the door. I start to bounce around like a child, just wanting his lips on mine. When she _finally _gets it open, I see a familiar white Stetson poke out in the door frame, my heart now fluttering.

"Nice to see you again Mr. Masen," the stewardess says in a flirty tone.

_I will cut you bitch._

My feet begin moving, and then I leap off the ground, wrapping my arms and legs around Edward.

"Glad to see you missed me as much as I missed you," he says laughing, and then gives me a kiss on the mouth.

"Jesus, maybe he'll shut up for 5 minutes now, man has been complaining 24/7," Emmett says squeezing past us. "Bella this, Bella that…I miss Bella so much, blah blah blah."

"Nice to see you too," I respond, giving him a playful kick in the back of the kneecap.

He turns back around, giving me a playful smirk. I pull myself off Edward, and notice Jackson coming up the ramp. For some reason my heart skips a beat.

"Hiya doll," he says to me, smiling.

"Hey Jackson," I respond, and then look over at Alice, her facial expression a mixture of joy and worry.

The pilot comes out of his cabin interrupting our exuberant reunion.

"If you could all please be seated, we can take off as soon as everything is situated. The ride will be a short one today, we should make it to McCarran in about seventy minutes."

"Thank you," Edward says, shaking the man's hand.

We all walk back over to the seats, Edward and I of course next to each other. I peek around, noticing Jackson is sitting next to Alice with his arm thrown around her. I give Alice a wink and she returns it with a big smile.

_Everything is going to be ok. _

My eyes pan to Emmett, who is currently giving Rose a death stare while she, being Rose, is too busy painting her fingernails to notice.

"Jesus Christ," Emmett screeches, waving his hand in front of his nose. "I'd rather stick my head up a bull's ass than smell that shit all day."

"Well you can go fucking sit over there," she says waving to the empty seat next to me.

"Fine," he says pretending like he's offended and gets up.

_I know Emmett loves this shit._

He slouches into the seat next to me, Edward already clearly agitated.

"Hi ya Bella Bee," he says throwing his arm around me, pulling my into his armpit

"Talk about smells," I say, mimicking his hand movement from before.

"Please, I smell like a fucking bed of roses."

"Yeah, a dead fucking bed of roses," Edward adds.

I realize how much I've grown to love Emmett and Jackson over the last few months, they both hold a special place in my new 'family'.

"Well, are you boys ready for this weekend?" I ask, it directed to both Edward and Emmett.

"Fuck yes. I fucking love Vegas," Emmett answers.

I laugh.

"I meant in terms of riding."

"Oh. Pffft…of course. I got this shit. Might even give your little boy toy a run for his money," he says, flicking his chin up toward Edward.

"You better keep practicing boy," Edward says smirking.

I intertwine my fingers around Edward's hand that is resting on the arm divider, loving his touch against my skin. After a few minutes of silence, Emmett leaves to go pester Rose again. When everyone else falls quiet, I peek around, Emmett seems to be sleeping, his large body sprawled across two seats. Rose is now painting her toenails, Jackson is strumming slowly on his guitar and Alice is curled up reading a book.

_Ahh silence. _

I lean my head back, closing my eyes. I am startled awake some time later when I feel warmth on my throat, followed my wetness. I open my eyes, seeing the top of Edwards head. I pull off his hat, running my fingers though his hair.

"I need to be inside of you," he whispers.

_Clench._

I smile, a revelation instantly coming to me. I slide out of my chair, making sure to stick my ass in Edward's face as I get up. I turn my head back to face him, fluttering my eyelashes at him. After a few seconds, Edward catches on.

I lean back down, my face close to his.

"I'm not wearing any panties," I whisper.

I turn from him, and slowly make my way down the aisle, but I don't get too far before I feel myself being lifted into the air. Edward carries me to the bathroom door and flings open the door and a bang, both of us laughing uncontrollably.

"SO much for being discrete," I say.

"I'm fucking paying for this plane, I can do whatever, or _whomever¸_ I want in it."

I inhale deeply as Edward's cologne fills the room. I am helpless. I take a quick scan I'm instantly thankful this bathroom is a little bit bigger than those on commercial planes, and hell of a lot more clean. Edward places me gently down onto the small counter next to the sink.

Our playful mood instantly turns to passion.

I give my thanks to the clothing decision goddess that I chose to wear a skirt today. I feel Edward's fingertip graze the sensitive skin between my thighs, my girly bits are ready and waiting. I wrap my arms around Edward's shoulders, feeling the intense tightness in them. Leaning in closer, I press my lips into the soft skin of his neck, kissing it softly, my lipstick leaving a perfect imprint.

Edward's fingers keep heading up my skirt. He looks up at me, an expression of shock on his face.

"I wasn't lying this time," I grin.

Edward starts to quickly undo his belt buckle, clearly not wanting to wait any longer.

"I need you inside me Edward," I breathe into his ear.

And just like that, he pushes into me. I gasp. This position on the counter gives him the perfect angle to reach my #1 spot. Edward's arms are wrapped behind me, giving me the support I need to get leverage. I don't know if it's the fact that there are people on the other side of the door, or Edward's dick just feels that is great, but I can feel my orgasm already building.

"Bella," Edward breathes out. "I love you. I hate being away from you. I can't live without you."

I look into his eyes, confused. He looks like a lost little boy.

"I love you too Edward, and you won't ever have to," I assure him.

He starts pumping as fast as his body will allow, the friction too much for me to handle.

"Edward, I can't hold on…." I mutter into the crook of his neck, smashing my lips into it repeatedly.

"Come Bella," he commands and I do, my head becoming light and dizzy.

I scream out, the feeling so fucking fantastic. I then feel a warm substance, knowing that he has reached his climax.

"Fuck," he breathes out.

I pull my face from his neck, looking into his emerald green eyes.

"Talk about a quickie," he says smiling.

"Nothing wrong with that," I respond.

Edward backs up, slowly sliding himself out of me. I set my feet back on the ground, my girly bits already sore…and wet.

"God you have no idea how much better it is without a condom. I almost came on the first thrust."

_You and me both._

Both our heads snap up when we hear a loud banging on the door.

"Can you two hurry the fuck up, some of us actually have to _use _the bathroom," we hear Emmett's voice boom.

"Hold you're fucking horses," Edward yells.

"I'm currently holding onto the head of my penis I have to pee so fucking bad."

"Eww..." I whisper.

Edward pulls up his pants, re doing his belt, and then he pulls open the door. We both start laughing as Emmett stands there, peeking through the holes in his fingers. He then slowly pulls his hand down.

"Oh good, you put that thing away," he says with a disgusted face.

"Hey, don't knock the bucking bronco," I say, rubbing Edward's crotch.

"The what?" Emmett says laughing.

I begin to blush. He just keeps laughing.

_I am not repeating myself._

"Kinky…" he says as he squeezes past us.

Edward and I do the walk of shame back to our seats, everyone clearly now knows what just went down.

"Hey Edward," Jackson says, stopping us. "You have something on your neck."

Edward puts his hand to his throat and rubs. He is now rubbing my lipstick imprints all over. All of us are laughing, Edward extremely confused.

"Got it," Jackson says, then goes back to strumming his guitar.

I continue laughing until my eyes meet the stewardess', something about her expression ticks me off.

_Jealous bitch._

I give her a wink before sliding back into my seat.

**Fast Forward: Saturday Morning.**

**EPOV**

I wake up, almost forgetting where I was. Bella and I spent the night just settling into the hotel room, neither of us really wanting to go out. This morning Victoria and Charlotte are arriving to watch me ride, and I'm not going to lie, I'm nervous as hell. Having Bella here just makes me even more nervous. I can't disappoint her. I won't disappoint her. I pull myself out of bed, making sure I don't wake her. I stretch my arms upright, instantly feeling how stiff my body is. Walking over to the drawers, I pull out a simple outfit of jeans and a tshirt. I walk into the next room, the suite at the Bellagio far superior to that at the Four Seasons. The room overlooks the entire strip, but I can't say I'm impressed by it anymore.

I'm over the binge drinking and whoreish strippers. Well, at least since Bella came into my life.

_Emmett's going to be real disappointed. _

I pull on my clothes, then grab my wallet and room key, shutting the door slowly. I spend the next hour perusing the lobby, noticing how extremely dead it is. I guess 4am isn't a great time for shopping.

_Fucking nerves._

I walk around, peeking into each of the upscale stores windows. I walk past a Tiffany's and I instantly think of Bella. I peek into the storefront, until I am startled by a reflection looking back at me.

"May we help you with anything Mr. Masen?"

I turn around, meeting the face of an older woman.

"What time does it open," I ask casually.

"For you? Now," she says smiling.

She pulls a set of keys from her pocket and inserts it into the roll up door. I follow her into the store as she slides the gate back down. Almost instantly the lights turn on, the jewelry cases glow.

"Feel free to take your time sir," she says sliding behind the counter.

I peruse all the cases; each one filled with so much shit its overwhelming.

"Is there anything in particular you are looking for? Engagement rings perhaps?" she says smiling.

I can't help but smile. "Not today."

"But something for someone special I take it…."

"Very…"

I make it to the last case, and I instantly know that has to be it.

"That one," I say pointing to necklace in the middle.

"It's absolutely beautiful," she says pulling it out. "Its $1,100 for the charm, and $350 for the chain."

"Great, I'll take it."

"Wonderful choice Mr. Masen."

We finish up the transaction; I thank her and make my way back to the room with, a little more bounce in my step. When I get there, I pull the door to the bedroom slowly still hoping not to wake her, but much to my surprise, Bella is awake.

"Where did you run off too?" she says in a tone just above a whisper.

"Just was walking around, ya know…clearing my head."

"Everything ok?"

"Better than ok," I say, leaning down to kiss her on the forehead. "I got this for you," I say, holding out the tiny blue box in my palm.

Her eyes instantly widen, her body freezing.

"Edward no….Tiffany's," she whispers.

_How in the hell does she know?_

"Uhh yeah," I say almost embarrassed.

"Edward, you shouldn't have."

"You haven't even opened it yet," I say confused.

"Still. I know that anything that comes out of that blue box ain't cheap."

I sigh.

"How many times are we going to go over this? Plus, you're well worth it."

She smiles, and I can't help but smile in return. She takes the small box from me, pulling off the lid slowly, almost like it's a ticking time bomb. She then pulls the top off, and I hear a loud gasp.

"Edward, it's beautiful," she says. She starts to run her fingers over the horseshoe shape, each diamond bouncing off the light.

I lean down closer, so that our mouths are inches apart.

"Bella Swan, you are my good luck charm," I say, and then place my lips gently on hers. "And I love you, more than words…or jewelry…could ever explain."

She bolts upright, her arms wrapping around me.

"You're too good to me," she says, placing kisses on my chin.

"I beg to differ," I respond. "I owe you a lot more than a shiny piece of metal for all you have to do to put up with me….Do you want me to put it on?"

She gives me a playful smack on the face.

"Yes please!" she says, bouncing around so her back is now to me. I reach up, pulling the strands of her flowing hair to one side, exposing the soft skin of her neck. I take the necklace out of the box and unclasp it, my finger fumbling a little. Reaching up and over her head, I bring the two loose ends together. When I finally get it on, Bella jumps up from the bed and to look at herself in the vanity.

"I love it Edward," she says walking back to me. "Maybe more than I do you," she says giggling.

I pretend to be mad, and I hastily grab her throwing her onto the bed.

"Take it back," I say, now straddling her on the bed.

"Never," she says laughing.

"Fine then. I guess I'll just have to tickle you," I say, holding my hands inches from her sides.

"Fine! I take it back," she screams.

"Good," I say as I drop my hands.

I then hear a rap on the hotel door.

"The girls must be here," I say getting up.

"Girls?" Bella asks confused.

"I didn't tell you?"

"Uhh no…."

"Oh. Uh. Victoria and Charlotte are here."

"Edward!" she screams. "I look like hell!"

I laugh.

"No you don't. Plus I doubt my sister…and a four year old child gives a shit."

I hear another knock on the door, Victoria obviously growing impatient.

_Another lovely trait we inherited from my father. _

I get up, making my way to the door. When I pull it open, I can't help but smile.

"Uncle Edward!" Charlotte says, running into my knees.

"Hey sweetie," I respond, picking her up by her armpits and tipping her upset down, a squeal instantly escaping her.

"Edward! Be careful!" Victoria scolds.

"Oh relax V," I say setting her back down. "She's one tough cookie. Plus, I won't let you raise my niece like a fucking pussy."

Victoria throws her arms in the air, "Language!"

I look down at Charlotte, who's completely oblivious to what's going on.

"When did you become such a…mother?" I laugh.

"Hmm I dunno, maybe when I popped that thing out of my crotch 4 years ago."

She and I laugh, both now looking down at Charlotte. Remembering. A silent conversation passes between us.

"You know he's gonna be here right?"

"I know," she says, continuing to look down at her daughter. "Fucker."

"Language," I say putting my hands over Charlotte's ears, clearly mocking Victoria.

Just then Bella comes through the door way.

"Izzeybella!" Charlotte says as she pulls herself from the floor and starts running to her.

"Hey kiddo," she responds, leaning down to give Charlotte a hug.

She wraps her arms around Bella's leg, standing on her foot. Bella just laughs.

_Jesus. Seeing Bella with a child makes me weak. I really do have it bad. _

"So nice to see you again Isabella, and it seems the same for Charlotte as well," Victoria says smiling.

"Nice to see you too," Bella responds, attempting to move.

We all make our way into the living room, each sitting down on a separate couch, Charlotte still permanently attached to Bella.

"So how was your flight?" I ask Victoria.

_I hate making fucking small talk. _

"It was amazing Edward. First class is quite a change from coach. Thank you."

"It was no problem," I state.

We all grow quiet again, all of us having nothing to say.

"So Bella," Victoria starts. "How do you like Vegas?"

"Uhhh its fine. Haven't really had a chance to explore yet."

Victoria looks shocked.

"My bro hasn't taken you around yet? He's usually never in his room when he's here, too busy getting wasted."

_Thank you Victoria. Fuck. Just when Bella starts to forget my reputation…_

"Well were definitely going to have to change that," Victoria says smiling. "You need some time away from my brother anyways. He can get a little stifling," she laughs.

_Bitch._

Bella just smiles.

"Hey Charlotte," I say. "These people are boring, you wanna go to Circus Circus?"

Her eyes widen. "Yes!" she screams.

"You know the rules," I say back to her.

She gets up off the couch and then climbs into Victoria's lap.

"Mommy, can I pppllleeeaaassseee go with Uncle Edward?"

"Of course honey," she says giving Charlotte a kiss on the head. "But you have to promise to be on your best behavior."

Charlotte just smiles.

"Plus it will give Bella and I some time alone," she says winking at me.

_Oh Christ. Maybe this is a bad idea. _

"Let me just go change," I say getting up from the couch. On my way, I touch Bella on the arm, silently telling her to follow me. When we get into the bedroom, I shut the door.

"You don't have to hang with my sister, you could come with us," I tell her.

"No, I want to. I haven't really got to spend any time with anyone from your family."

I just roll my eyes.

_That's because my family is fucking nuts._

"Plus it will be good for you to spend some time with Charlotte. I feel like you don't get to see her as much since I came around."

"Believe me, I'm sure Victoria is appreciating the help I hired more than having her damn brother coming around all the time," I say walking closer to her. "Plus you are _way _more fun to play with."

I run my fingers over the exposed skin between her pants and her shirt.

"Edward…" she breathes out. "Go!"

She pushes me away from her.

"You're going to deny the bucking bronco," I say, acting like I'm hurt.

"When your sister and four year old niece are in the other room….yes."

I laugh, walking over to the closet once again. I undress, putting on a nicer shirt. I sit back on the bed, pulling on some socks and my Justin boots.

"We shouldn't be more than a few hours, then we can start heading over to the arena."

"Looking forward to it cowboy," she says smirking.

Bella and I walk back out of the bedroom, Victoria and Charlotte still on the couch.

"Ready munchkin?" I say.

"Yes!" Charlotte says sliding off the couch.

She starts spinning, obviously enjoying the new sundress that Victoria just changed her into.

"Here," Victoria says, handing me a bag.

"What the fuck is that?"

"Charlotte's bag…" she says looking confused.

I look down; the bag is bright pink with little red ladybugs all over it.

"You are fucking nuts if you think I'm carrying that with me," I say completely serious. "What happened to the black backpack you normally give me?"

Victoria sighs, and then opens the bag.

"At least take her snacks," she says handing me what looks to be a bag of Cheerios. I take it, shoving it into my pocket, probably crushing them.

"Alright, we'll be back in a little bit," I say to Bella, giving her a quick kiss. I then turn to Victoria. "And if Bella comes back with a tattoo or facial piercing, I will kill you."

"Were just gonna hang out, chill bro," she assures me.

_Sure. _

I grab Charlotte, picking her up. "Let's go see the animals."

I know lots of people chase ass all over Vegas, but the next two hours consisted of me chasing Charlotte's little ass all over town.

_Who brings a kid to Vegas?_

After the show finished, I realized how late it was getting. When we get back to the Bellagio lobby, Charlotte completely freaks out.

"Uncle Edward! Look at all the pretty flowers!" she says pointing.

I look out to see a magnificent flower display in the middle of the lobby, wondering how I missed it earlier this morning. It is filled with flowers of every color.

"Come on kid," I say taking her hand.

We walk up and down the small paths, Charlotte stopping at every other square inch to admire the colors, completely fascinated by them.

_How I wish I was still a child sometimes. _

After another 30 minutes, I begin to grow tired. I pull out my phone checking the time.

_Shit. _

"Hey sweetie," I say, bending down. "Uncle Edward has to go ride some bulls, and you and mommy get to watch. But we gotta go back to the room first."

"Yay!" she squeals and heads off in a random direction.

_This kid is killing me._

I take off after her, and when I catch up I scoop her up in my arms.

"You got me!" she laughs.

I walk over to the bank of elevators, leaning down so that Charlotte can push the button. A few seconds later, the elevator behind us dings. Turning around I make my way over, waiting for the fucking door to open. When it does I slide in, still holding onto Charlotte, but just as the doors start to close, I instinctively look up, my eyes meeting Jake's just as they slide shut.

**BPOV**

After hours of shopping with Victoria we finally make it back to the hotel room, my body beyond tired. Being alone with Victoria was nice, but all I can say is she sure can talk. I didn't come home with any new body modifications, but I did somehow come home with new lingerie. Let's just say shopping for lingerie with your boyfriend's sister tops the chart as the most awkward fucking moment of my life, but she insisted. A few minutes later, I see Edward fly through the door, Charlotte in his arms. He sets her down almost harshly, and immediately walks into the bedroom, slamming the door shut.

I shoot a worried look at Victoria, her expression matching mine. I get up, picking up the shopping bag from the floor. Slowly making my way to the bedroom, I can feel my heart racing. I love Edward more than I can put into words, but he makes me incredibly nervous when he acts like this. When I make it into the room, I see Edward sitting on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands.

"Edward…" I say no louder than a whisper. "Is everything ok?"

"Just fucking peachy," he says, still looking down at the floor.

Walking over to him, I put my arm on his shoulder.

"Tell me."

He finally looks up at me.

"Jake's here," he says. "Just saw him in the lobby while I was coming up with Charlotte."

_Shit. Did they get in a fight? Did he say anything about Charlotte? About me? _

"What did he say?" I ask.

"Nothing," Edward says while taking a deep breath. "The doors to the elevator closed right when I saw him."

I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Did you know he was going to be here?"

"Yeah…I'm a hundred percent sure my father is here too," he says then pauses. "Anything to make profit," he adds.

Edward stops talking abruptly, eyeing the bag that I put on the floor. He goes to reach for it, but I launch for it, grabbing it before he does.

"That's for later…" I laugh.

He smirks. "Bullshit…" he says going to grab the bag out of my hand. Of course he succeeds.

"Edward…please," I whisper. "I wanted it to be a surprise."

He holds the bag out in front of him, reading the logo on the front. I swear I hear him whimper.

"The Bad Attitude Boutique?"

I can't help but smile.

"Fuck Bella, you _are _going to be the death of me."

I rip the bag back out of his hand swiftly.

"Close your eyes," I say in my most seductive voice.

His face lights up like a 2 year old, and then he slams his eyes shut.

_Poor boy thinks he's going to get some. _

I run around the room, looking for a place to hide it. I run into the bathroom, sliding it into my makeup bag.

_He'll never look for it there. _

I walk back into the room. "You can open your eyes now."

Edward opens his eyes, a confused look on his face.

"What the fuck?"

I laugh, walking over to him. "Patience is a virtue."

He just shakes his head, laughing. He reaches up, grabbing my wrists and pulls us both onto the bed, so that I am on top of him. We lay there, and all I can do is stare into his beautiful green eyes. I unconsciously run my fingers through his hair.

"Are you nervous?" I ask.

"About what?"

_Jake, your father. _

"Riding," I choose to say.

"Nope, not as long as I have my good luck charm with me," he says, running his fingers over the shape of my necklace.

I lean down, giving him a kiss.

"I'll always be at your side," I declare.

He sighs loudly.

"Can't I just quit riding and you and I can run off to a private island? None of the bullshit, just you and me."

"Fuck yes," I say, moving so that I am now straddling his hips.

"It's a plan then," he says completely serious. "Let's go pack up our shit."

I look over at the clock on the nightstand.

"It's 4 Edward."

I hear him grumble. "I thought we just said I could quit."

"After tonight cowboy," I say, sliding off him.

The four of us leave the hotel room and make our way to the arena. When we get there, we enter through the back, Edward immediately heading off with the other riders. Victoria, Charlotte and I make our way out into the public area.

"Do you get to see Edward ride often?" I ask Victoria.

"Usually just when he rides locally," she responds. "And of course the finals, I don't really have a lot of money for travel, and I hate taking Edward's handouts all the time and I'm sure he's tired of giving them."

I remain silent for a few seconds.

"You know he loves you and Charlotte right?"

She looks over at me, and then gives me a smile.

"He's so lucky he found you Bella, you are exactly what he needed. He has been a completely different person since he laid eyes on you. He'd been such an angry person for so long. But it's like you wash all that away. He even came over the first night he saw you at the bar and he couldn't stop talking about this beautiful brunette."

I can feel myself blushing.

"Well I haven't been the same since I met him either. This thing between us happened so fast. But I think we both realized we want to just be together."

I look down at my hands and smile.

"Shit, you two got it fucking bad," Victoria laughs. "But for the record, you are an amazing addition to our fucked up family."

I laugh. I'm really starting to feel at home.

A few seconds later, Charlotte takes off, heading off into the crowd.

"Charlotte Ann!" Victoria yells into the crowd.

"Don't worry, I'll get her," I say.

"Thanks Isabella," she responds.

"Please call me Bella," I smile, and then take off in the direction that Charlotte ran off to.

I push through the people, my heart racing a little. Luckily, I see the top of her head, her wavy locks shining.

"Charlotte," I say walking up behind her. " Come on, we're going this way," I say pointing back to the direction we came from.

_If you make me chase you again I'm gonna kill you child. _Just as that thought finishes going through my head she bolts again.

_If this isn't the best form of birth control I don't know what is. How did Edward keep up with her all day!_

I take off again as well, making sure that she doesn't get too far this time. I can hear Charlotte screaming something over and over again, but I can't quite make it out. Just as I think I get close to her again Charlotte veers off into a group of guys off to the right hand side.

_Fuck me._

I walk up tentatively, now being able to make out what Charlotte has been saying.

"Grandpa!" she says as she wraps her arms around a pair of legs. I push through the last few people, now noticing that Charlotte has a hold of Peter.

_Could this get any fucking worse…or awkward?_

"Hello Isabella," Peter says smiling.

_Two faced fucker._

"Hello Peter," I say, swallowing the lump in my throat.

I bend down, scooping Charlotte up from the ground.

"You know grandpa too?" Charlotte asks me.

"I do…" I explain.

_Unfortunately. _

"So how your stay been?" Peter asks me, acting like nothing has ever happened.

"It's been great. I've really enjoyed being here with Edward," I explain. "Have you seen him yet?"

"I was actually just planning on heading over there," he explains.

_Sure you were._

"I take it my daughter is here as well?"

Before I can answer, I instantly get a weird feeling in my stomach. Instinct forces me to reach down to lift Charlotte up to my hip. I shift my eyes around the group of men and see Jake standing to the right of me, his expression a mixture of furry and jealousy. I remain silent, trying to not giving him any sign of emotion.

"Bella," he starts. "What are you doing with her?"

_My blood instantly boils._

"With who?" I ask, pretending like I don't know who he is talking about.

_Jesus. Can he not even say his own daughter's name out loud?_

I see his shoulders tense.

"I'm looking after her, something you clearly don't know how to do," I snap.

Jake just narrows his eyes at me.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Peter says, clearly confused.

I turn back to face Peter.

"Maybe I should let Jake explain that to you…." I say then turn around to leave, Charlotte still safe in my arms.

My inner bitch is glowing in the dark…that is until I realize what I had just done.

I walk back over to Victoria, noticing that Rose, Alice, and Jackson have arrived.

"Hey guys," I say softly, putting Charlotte back onto the ground.

I feel like I am going to throw up. I have to tell her.

"Hey Victoria, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Victoria looks at me confused, but then steps away from the group.

I open my mouth, but then close it again, not knowing how to start.

"I said something," I blurt out.

"Bella, what the hell are you talking about?"

I inhale deeply.

"Well when I caught up to Charlotte, she took off again, and I chased her. She ran off into a group of guys screaming 'Grandpa' and it ended up being your dad and Jake. Jake was being all fucking jealous or mad or some shit and asked me why I was with Charlotte. I told him I was watching her, something he clearly didn't know how to do. Then your father asked me what I meant by that. And then I told Peter to ask Jake about it."

I inhaled deeply again, not having taken an entire breath during my explanation.

"I'm so sorry," I add.

Victoria starts to look concerned, but then her face spreads into a smile.

"It's about time Peter found out."

"How come you never told him who the father was when you were pregnant?"

"Cause he never would of believed me. Jake is his golden boy. The son he always wanted. Someone who eats up all the bullshit that man spews out."

I can't help but smile.

"You and Edward are very lucky to have each other," I say.

"We only had each other for a very long time. When my mother died we not only lost one parent, we lost two."

My heart ached for them.

"So we're ok?" I ask timidly.

"Of course Bella," she says wrapping her arms around me. "Can't wait for the day I get you call you my sister-in-law."

As she pulls back from me, I breathe a sigh of relief, both of us joining our other company. I walk up, giving each of them a hug, starting with Rose.

When I reach Alice, she whispers into my ear, "I told him."

I pull back, trying to gauge her reaction. She just smiles and nods. I make my way over to Jackson, giving him a strong hug.

"Congrats daddy," I say.

He hugs me in return. When I pull back, I see a huge smile on his face.

"Thanks, I'm pretty stoked," he says.

I look over at Alice, "Told you it was going to all be ok."

"What, what's going on?" Victoria intervenes.

I look over at Alice, then Jackson.

"I'm pregnant," Alice says, smiling.

"Oh my god!" Victoria screams, throwing her hands over her mouth.

We all laugh.

"Congrats cousin," she says as she hugs Jackson.

She then grabs onto Alice giving her a big hug. Even Alice looks surprised.

"I am so excited for you guys!" she continues to squeal. "Motherhood is such a wonderful thing."

A second later, I feel a familiar hand on my back.

"What are we all excited about," Edward says.

I turn around and immediately leap into his arms.

"Woah, what's that for?" he laughs.

"I'm just…happy," I smile.

He leans down, giving me a passionate kiss. I can feel him holding tight onto me, drumming his fingertips on my back

"Nervous?" I ask concerned.

"Like you can't fucking imagine," he says smirking.

And just like that Edward and I are in our own world. Our bubble. All the other conversation around us fades away and I can only see him.

"Your gonna do great babe, you always do," I say, straightening his hat a little. "Plus you look really fucking hot."

He just laughs.

"Maybe you should bring your chaps home, it will go great with the corset set I bought today."

"Fuck Bella, riding with a raging hard on is going to be a new one for me."

I laugh, playfully smacking his vest, but soon feel a pain then radiates through my fingers.

"Fuck," I say shaking my hand.

"Uhh yeah. These vests have Kevlar plates in them. Made to stop a bulls horn for puncturing my chest" he laughs.

I instantly become worried. I try to avoid thinking about how dangerous his job really is.

He grabs my hand, placing small kisses on top of it, and then trails slowly up my arm. I can feel the butterflies fluttering in my stomach.

"Come on Romeo," an older man says from behind us.

Edward closes his eyes shortly, pulling his lips from my arm.

"I gotta go," he says.

"Good luck," I say, placing a kiss on his lips. "You're gonna do great."

"Thanks," he whispers.

"Be safe."

"Always am."

His hands fall from mine, and I watch him walk away.

_Nice ass__._

We all into the back, and settle in with all the other families and friends of the riders. Emmett's name comes over the loudspeaker. I look over at Rose, who is trying to act like she is not excited, but is failing miserably. I look over to my left, seeing his massive form slide onto the chute. And just like that, he's off, his bull flailing in a million directions. My heart is beating so fast, scared for his wellbeing. Luckily, just as fast as it started, it was over. Emmett stayed on the entire 8 seconds.

I can see him saying "fuck yes" over and over, making me laugh.

Then the announcer comes over and announces his score. 90 out of 100.

He picks up his hat that flew off during his ride, dusting it off. He turns to us, winking.

_I know that wink isn't meant for me._

I spend the next 30 minutes tuning out the rest of the rides, impatiently waiting to see him.

**EPOV**

Breathe. Just breathe.

I run into Emmett back stage.

"Fuck yes!" he screams. "90 bitch."

I reach up, giving him a "manly" hug.

"Congrats man," I say.

"Giving you a run for your fucking money bro," he says joking.

I just laugh, shaking my head.

"Masen! You're up," the helper calls.

I reach around Emmett, grabbing my gloves off the table. As I walk down the hallway, I slide each one of them on, wrapping them tight with strapping tape. I'm so fucking nervous I can hear my heartbeat in my ears, my hands clearly shaking. I have ridden more times than I can remember, but for once this actually means something to me. I want her to be proud of me. When I make it out to the open arena, I get to the chutes, sliding in between the sea of bodies.

"Ready man," a man says.

I just nod, not needing to answer. Climbing up the gate, I swing my legs over so that I am straddling the top of it.

_I need to see her. _

My eyes scan the crowd, finding her fast.

_My beautiful Bella. _

Her face is glowing, the arena lights bouncing off the diamonds in her necklace. My heart is fucking soaring. Not a second later she notices me, a smile lighting up her face. She waves, and I nod in return.

"Come on man," I hear someone say.

I swing my other leg around, sliding myself on top of the bull. I can feel the adrenaline flowing freely through my veins. I quickly make work of tying the rope around my palm, my assistants helping tighten up. The bull bucks in the chute, a sign that the rope is tight enough. When I get situated, I look down at the man who is in charge of opening the gate, we have a silent conversation.

_Please god. _

As soon as I nod my head, he pulls on the rope, the gate flying open.

The bull charges, bucking in the direction I had predicted. At this moment, I know I have it. The first turn it what determines your ride. If he goes in the opposite direction than you though, your fucked. The thing about bull riding is, no matter how much you practice, you can never be _really _ready. I feel like I have a good grip on him, my body following with every direction change. And just like that it's over, the loud buzzer ringing through my ears. I hastily start undoing the rope, the bull stopping its bucks immediately. I slide off the bull, hauling my ass away from him. I climb up the gate, awaiting my score.

"Beautiful ride by Masen, and with that the judges decided to grant him with a score of 98."

The crowd goes wild. The noise is deafening. I tip my hat a couple times and then depart from the arena. I need a quiet minute to let the adrenaline rush run its course. I start unraveling the tape from my wrists, and pull off my glove. When I make it into the back my heart rate is coming down, but my girl is already there. And it goes right back to pounding inside my chest.

"I'm so fucking proud of you," she says throwing his arms around me.

"Thanks," I say, not able to hold back my smile.

She puts her lips on mine, her tongue entering my mouth immediately. I drop my gloves on the ground, wrapping my hands around her ass, lifting her up in the air.

"Can we fucking leave now," I mutter. "I was thinking about your corset my entire ride."

"No," she says sternly. "We have to see if you won."

She and I walk hand-in-hand back to the viewing area, everyone wanting to stop and talk to me on the way there. As much as everyone in the building is vying for my attention right now, I can't stop looking over at her.

"Congrats man," Jackson says, giving me a hug. "I bet Emmett is back there throwing shit," he smiles.

"Yeah, I don't know why he even tries," I say, failing at holding back my laughter. "Hey," I add. "I guess I owe you a congrats as well."

"That you do," he states. "Can't fucking wait to show my son this fucking awesome world."

I hear both Alice and Bella laugh.

"What's so funny?" I inquire.

"Nothing," Bella says, shaking her head.

We all stand around for the next 40 minutes. I don't really giving a shit about any of the other riders, or their scores for that matter. I already have my trophy.

_And right now I want that trophy wrapped around me in a corset._

"Hey dude," I see Emmett come out from the back. "Come on, they are going to announce the finals."

I slide back on my hat and give Bella a kiss on the cheek, following behind Emmett. He and I climb back down into the arena, lining up with the other riders. I now realize how important this is to me, to have something to show for all my hard work.

My heartbeat starts to increase, my palms becoming sweaty.

And then, I hear the boom of the microphone.

"Well ladies and gentlemen, after months of hard work and countless hours of blood, sweat….and maybe some tears, it all comes down to this. After every ride of the season has been accounted for, each meticulously added up, I am proud to say we have the 2011 PBR World Champion. He not only tops the chart with the highest score, he is also the youngest man in the history of the sport to win the title. Everyone, I'd like to introduce this year's World Champ, Edward Masen!"

Everything around me becomes just a constant buzz after those words are spoken. I think I can hear the blood rushing through my body. I can feel my heart pounding. I can't help but smile. I look up at the roaring crowd, taking off my hat and waving. I walk up to the presenters, shaking each of their hands. I then my way back in line, shaking each one of the rider's hands until I reach Emmett, who wraps his big ass arms around me, picking me up of the ground.

_Fucking freak._

I can hear the laughter in the crowd. I need to sit down somewhere and let it all sink in.

I give one last wave, and then make my way back to Bella.

"_NOW_ can we go?" I laugh..

"Edward…you just became a world champion. Can you pretend you're excited for like a second?" she laughs.

"Plus you got interviews," Jackson adds.

"Fuckkkk," I breathe out.

**BPOV**

Did he really just win the World Championship and not give a shit?

"Hey, you want us to stay?" Alice says nudging me.

"No, I'm hoping he'll be done soon," I say looking at him surrounded by photographers and cameras, a clear pissy look on his face.

"Alright, we'll see you at the bar," she says hugging me.

I remain sitting there alone, until I see Jake in the far corner.

_Fuck._

I think about getting up and bolting towards Edward, but something keeps me firmly planted. He is far from me, but my heart races anyways. All he is doing is glaring at me, making me incredibly uncomfortable. I peel my eyes away from him, looking back at Edward. Edward looks out past the media at me, noticing my expression. I shift my eyes to my left, Edward following with his. I can instantly see his facial expression change from pissy to infuriated.

"Relax," I mouth, hoping he doesn't make a scene in front of the media.

I keep my eyes firmly forward and after about 5 minutes, I see Jake leave. I breathe a sigh of relief.

After about another 10 minutes, Edward excuses himself and walks over to me.

"What the fuck was that all about?" he asks.

"Who the fuck knows," I say. "But can we please get the hell out of here?"

Edward smiles. "Please."

I get up from my chair, walking into the back with Edward, then into the parking lot. I hold my hand to him.

"What?" he says confused.

"Keys," I say, still holding out my hand. "World champions shouldn't have to drive themselves. Plus I want to drive this bad boy."

"Uhh no. Women driver's no survivors," he says smiling.

I reach over to him, throwing my hands into his pocket, which I soon find out is incredibly hard on a man who wears Wranglers. Edward just starts laughing, pulling them out of the opposite pocket, dangling them out in front of me. Every time I go to grab them, he pulls them up higher.

_Assface. _

So instead I reach down, grabbing his junk in my hands, caressing it.

"Not fair," he breathes out.

I grab the keys from his hand, sliding in the driver's seat. A moment later, I see the passenger door fly open.

"Try to keep it under 100," he states.

"Ok, thanks dad," I retort.

I pull out of the parking lot, making sure to screech the tires. We make our way to the strip, pulling into the Bellagio.

"Good evening," the attendant says.

Edward and I walk along the lobby, my arm linked into his. It's incredibly busy but I am just enjoying being with my Champ. As we come across the bank of elevators, my ears pick up on screaming. And that's when I see them. Jake, Victoria and Charlotte. Jake is screaming at Victoria, Victoria is screaming at Jake, and Charlotte is on the ground crying.

Edward immediately takes off, pulling me with him. As soon as we reach them, Edward gets in Jake's face..

"Bella, get Charlotte and go to the room," Edward demands, not taking his eyes off Jake.

"But…" I start to say.

"BELLA! Do it," he snaps again.

I scoop up Charlotte, and walk over to the elevator. I hit the button, impatiently waiting for one to open. When it does I hesitate, but then enter it. When the doors slide shut, I instantly start crying, along with Charlotte.

"Shhh…." I say as I try to console her. "It's going to be ok."

Charlotte continues to cry as we make it to the hotel room. It's not until we reach the door I realize I don't have a key.

"Fuck."

I slide down the wall and pull Charlotte into my lap. We sit on the floor in the hallway, waiting. The only sound is Charlotte's quiet sobs and the 'shhhh' sound I instinctively make while hugging her to my chest and rubbing her back. My mind starts to go crazy, wondering what the fuck is happening downstairs. I go through a hundred scenarios, realizing none of them have good outcomes. After what seems like forever, I see Edward and Victoria making their way down the hallway.

No blood. No bruises.

_Thank god. _

"Ahh fuck," Edward says, realizing I don't have a key.

I stand up, handing a now sleeping Charlotte over to Victoria.

"Thanks," she says taking her from me. "I'm so embarrassed."

"Don't be," I assure her. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"She did. Four years ago she fucking slept with that prick," Edward snapped at me with venom in his voice.

"Edward…" I say shocked.

He slides the key in, entering the room. Victoria and I look at each other, both remaining in the hallway. Victoria then walks in, placing Charlotte down on the couch.

"I'll be right back," I say to her, walking towards the bedroom.

I push open the door, now entirely pissed off. Edward is in exact same position as earlier today, except this time he immediately looks at me.

"What the fuck…" I begin to say, before he cuts me off.

"I'm sorry," he says. "I shouldn't have treated you like that. You have nothing to do with this. It's my fucked up family."

I walk over to him, still flustered.

"Then why do I feel like all this is my fault? If I had never talked to him that night at the bar…"

"Bella, he's Charlotte's father…there is no getting away from him."

"So what happened?" I inquire.

"Jake apparently got in a fight with my father," he states.

_Oh no. _

"And…"

"Let's just say Jake doesn't work for my father anymore."

"This is all my fault…"

"Bella, I don't see how that's your fault. You didn't tell my father about Jake."

_Fuck. I have to tell him._

But before I can Edward reaches out, grabbing me by my hips.

"Bella, this has been a brewing storm for four years now, it was time. You have nothing to do with this."

I walk closer, filling the gap between us, Edward laying his head on my stomach.

"So now would be a bad time to tell you everyone is waiting for us…" I say.

Edward looks up, confused.

"Ummm we gotta go to your celebratory dinner," I say hesitantly. "One drink," I add, smiling.

_And then I'll come clean about why this really IS all my fault…_

And just like that, my Edward is back.

"Ahh fuck Bella? Really?"

"Everyone is waiting down at some fucking country bar…apparently some country singer owns it."

He shakes his head laughing.

"Toby Keith…"

"Yeah! That's it!"

I reach down giving Edward a kiss, and then I grab his hand, pulling him off the bed. When we get back out to the living room, Edward and I walk over to Victoria and a still sleeping Charlotte.

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier…you don't deserve it."

"It's ok Edward. I know you are just trying to protect me."

"We're going to dinner, do you wanna come?" he whispers.

"No I think I've had enough excitement for one day," she says giving us a half smirk.

"Thanks for everything Bella," she says sincerely.

"Anytime," I smile.

Edward and I leave the hotel, opting to walk instead of taking the car. The nights here are even warmer than in Reno. When we reach Harrah's Edward and I make our way into the restaurant, immediately spotting our rowdy group of people. When they see us everyone starts clapping and whistling, getting the attention of everyone in the room.

"Congrats man," Emmett says, handing each of us a beer.

"Thanks," Edward replies, clinking his glass with Emmett's...and then with mine.

"Best fucking trophy right here…" he says squeezing me.

The rest of the evening becomes a blur, all of us consuming way more alcohol than we should be.

"Hey," Edward says leaning over to whisper in my ear. "I gotta go to the can. Be right back."

He slides off his seat, making his way to the back. I turn my attention back to the crowd, taking another shot. Growing bored, I scan the room, the bar is incredibly busy for 1 in the morning.

_Well, I guess this is Vegas... _

And then I see him. Angry…and clearly drunk. I shift my eyes around the room again, realizing that Jackson, Emmett, Rose and Alice are out on the balcony. My heart feels like its going beat out of my chest. And just like that he is in my face. I can smell the alcohol seeping from his pores. Time seems to slow down, everyone around us moving at an incredibly slow rate.

"What the fuck did I ever to do you?" he screams. "I was nothing but nice to you Bella, from day fucking one. I took you in all the times that asshole treated you like shit. And what do you do in return? You fuck my entire life up!"

I can't even muster up the words to respond. I go to slide off the barstool, but he shifts, blocking me. I instantly start to panic, knowing this isn't good.

"I _saved_ you from that asshole. You came running to me every time he broke your fucking heart, and for what? SO that you could fucking run back to him every time?"

He pauses.

"I love you Bella, why wasn't I ever good enough for you?" he says, his mood and the conversation changing entirely.

He reaches up and grabs my arm, in what I assume he thinks is a loving gesture, but it's entirely too harsh.

"Jake," I say, the tears falling.

_What the fuck is wrong with you?_

"I'm sorry, but I just don't like you like that. I really wanted to be friends with you Jake, I did. Even knowing how much Edward despises you. But you kept pushing me away, saying horrible things to me. I thought you were a good person."

He stares at me intently, his anger diminishing.

He takes in a deep breath, and before I know it his lips are on mine, his hold on me so tight that I can't break free. He continues to kiss me, his lips mashed against mine. I can't do anything but be still.

But moments later I feel Jake's body lurch sideways, his large mass falling to the ground. And that's when I see Edward. He has Jake pinned to ground, throwing punch after punch, blood pouring from Jake's face It flows like a river onto the bar floor. Screams leave my throat so loud that I quickly become horse, trying to scream for Emmett, for Jackson, for anyone.

_Oh my god, this is the last straw. He's going to kill him._

When I realize that no one is coming, I fly off my barstool, my head dizzy. I reach down, grabbing onto any part of Edward that I can touch.

The next thing I feel is my body flying backwards at a rapid rate, my head slamming hard into the side of the bar.

* * *

**Eeeek! How many of you hate me at the moment?**

**Picture of B's necklace is on my profile! ******

**See you in about a week!  
**


	20. Chapter 20 Heartbreak Warfare Part 2

**Got quite the response from the cliffy...sorry to put you all through that! I just had to do it. **

**So here we are again...like I mentioned in the last A/N that this chapter jumps POV's a couple times and we also get an ALICE POV in this chapter so make sure you pay attention to that! **

**I wanna thank my beta, you are an amazing woman and your little additions to this chapter made it amazing!**

**I want to thank ALL my readers, you girls are rock!**

**Also a thanks to eveningrainjlho again for her help with Las Vegas locations! (Understand the hospital DM now?) Love you girl! xoxo.**

**So here we go...heartbreak warfare.**

* * *

**EPOV**

Anger. Rage. Madness. Jealousy.

The list goes on of what I was feeling at that very moment. I had just left the bathroom from taking a piss. I see him….and her.

His lips on hers.

His hand on her.

All I see is red. My body reacts, and I instantly sprint forward, the crowd in the bar a blur. As I get closer I slam my body into his, both of us crashing hard to the floor. We wrestle around, my head in a fog from all the alcohol. I finally get him pinned beneath me and just start throwing.

Getting in a fight with Jake is nothing new to me, but this time it's different. Nobody touches Bella, especially not him.

My vision is in a tunnel, and seeing him with her keeps replaying in my head. My knuckles crash into his face repeatedly, splitting open in the process. I don't know how much time passes but after what seems like an hour, I feel a pull on my arm. Without thinking I immediately shove the figure backwards. Fucking Emmett coming to stop me, like he always does. But then my brain stops to process. That was much too light to be Emmett's arm. I snap my head to the right, and I instantly know I just fucked up my entire life. Then I feel my body being lifted in the air, Jackson now holding me back.

"Edward, fucking stop!" he screams.

And then I know I have royally fucked up. Jackson never raises his voice.

Instantly my head clears, the fog that was impairing me, completely gone. And that's when I see her, well actually only her feet. She is surrounded by people, her body splayed on the ground. I instantly feel the chunks rising in my throat.

"Let the fuck go of me," I scream to Jackson.

"Edward, you have to calm the fuck down," he tells me.

I wiggle my way out of his hold and fly over to her, my knees hitting the floor.

"Bella…" I choke out.

Her body is on the ground, her arms wrapped around her legs, her eyes refusing to look at me. I go to reach out for her, my body stopping itself.

"I didn't know it was you, I swear," I cry out, struggling to hold back tears.

I look up at the people around us, wanting to tell them all to get the fuck away from us. I look back down at her, her head still looking in the opposite direction of me. I rush over to her other side, knocking all the people out of the way. And that's when I truly see her. Her face streaked with black, her eyes dark. And my god there's blood coming out of a gash on her forehead. Jesus, she must have knocked into something after I hit her? Oh god. So much blood. I need to stop it. I look around for anything I can use to clean it off her.

"Edward don't…" she squeaks out.

"Please Bella, you can't do this," I say, tears falling down my face now. "Don't pull away from me. You know I would never touch you in anger. I would never hurt you. I didn't know it was you."

I pick up her hand, not getting the response I was hoping for.

She finally looks up at me, her expression dark. I can feel that something monumental has shifted between us. Something has been altered. She's looking at me in a way I know is life altering. I've gone too far. I've finally done it. That look she's giving me… fear. And I want to throw up and rewind time. Dear God please just fucking rewind this entire night. And then she says the words that shatter my entire being.

"I can't do this anymore…." She heaves a breath, like she's gasping for air. "Are you ever gonna change? Are you ever gonna let go of all the anger inside you. It scares me. Scares me that I never know when this side of you is going to come roaring out. You were in such a rage you couldn't even hear me calling your name? You couldn't even feel me pulling on you? You have to fix this Edward. You have to get ahold of this anger. I thought you were gonna kill him this time."

She shuffles to her feet, Rose helping her up and handing her a bar towel for her head.

"I have to go…" she says in a whisper. "I seem to always be a part of bringing on these episodes. It's gonna ruin you. I can't be a part of that. I love you too much to let that happen."

And just like that she leaves. Just walks right out. And I can't seem to be able to pull myself up from the floor.

**BPOV **

Leaving that bar was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. But I had to do it.

The warm night air is stifling, the tears not stopping.

"Bella, you have to go to the hospital," Rose says.

"Don't be fucking stupid Rose," I snap back. "Just leave me the fuck alone."

I walk out in front of them, holding onto myself. I then feel a small figure behind me.

"Bella…" Alice says softly. "Please, let us take you to the hospital. You could have a concussion. That cut might need stitches."

My body becomes instantly weak and I crumble to the ground, the tears falling again. I just sit there crying, neither Rose nor Alice stopping me. I start to notice a crowd forming, but I really could care fucking less.

_Move away people, have you never seen a woman having an emotional breakdown before? Fuckers. _

I cry for what seems hours, until my body is so weak that it can't take anymore. I look up at my friends, both of them having a worried look on their faces.

I reach my hand up, silently telling them to help me up. They both grab it, lifting me off the concrete softly.

"Hospital?" Alice asks, smoothing her hands through my hair.

I just shake my head slowly. Rose runs into the street, hailing down a cab. We all slide into the back. I place my arm on the door, and then rest my chin on top of it.

"Where to?" the driver asks, eyeing the bloody towel I didn't even realize I'm still holding. I guess my head had finally stopped bleeding. I hadn't even noticed…

"Nearest hospital," Rose says with an authorative voice.

I zone out, the lights of the strip bright and vibrant.

"Bella…." Alice says, now standing outside the cab, holding her hand out to me. "We're here."

I slide sideways out of the car and I look up at the large hospital in front of me. We walk into the emergency room, and much to my surprise it's filled with people.

_Fucking Vegas._

I slide myself into the chair, zoning out again.

"Miss Swan," I hear a soft voice say. "I'm doctor Weber, the emergency room doctor on duty."

I look up, my eyes meeting those of a middle aged man.

"I'm just going ask you a few simple questions to determine your severity," he says.

"Ok…"

"Do you feel dizzy or light headed?"

"A little."

He writes something on a piece of paper.

"Does you feel like your vision is blurry?"

I shake my head up and down slowly. He writes something else down.

"Are you having trouble standing or experiencing balance problems?"

"Yes," I squeak out, the tears threatening to fall again.

He writes on the paper AGAIN, and then excuses himself. A few minutes later I am approached by a lady, who is pushing a wheelchair.

"Ready?" she says giving me a smile.

I slowly get up from my chair, getting into the wheelchair. She starts to push me away when I hear Alice speak.

"Do you want me to come with you?" she asks.

I nod, the tears falling again.

_I really don't want to be alone. _

"Sorry, family only," the nurse says.

I whip around in the chair, giving her my best "don't fuck with me" look.

She sighs, "Ok, you can come."

Alice walks next to us, the nurse wheeling me into an empty room.

"I need some more information from you," she says, pulling out the same file as the other nurse.

"Do you remember how you fell?"

My stomach drops. I shift my eyes to Alice.

"She fell off her barstool," Alice assures her.

"So you have been drinking?" the nurse asks me.

"Yes," I choke out.

"Do you remember how much?"

I shake my head.

She jots more things down.

"Ok, the doctor should be here soon," she says, then turns and leaves.

Alice comes over shortly after, sitting down on the bed next to me, both of us sitting there in silence, before I can't take it anymore.

"What am I going to do?" I ask her, my tone doesn't reach above a whisper.

"Bella, let's just make sure you are ok first," she responds.

We fall silent again until I see the door open, another doctor entering

"Good evening," he says softly.

"Hello."

"I have looked over your chart and I would like to run some more tests and take care of that nasty cut," he says.

I instantly become nervous.

Before I know it my cut has been sealed shut with some kinda fancy doctor super glue, I am in a gown and in a hospital bed being rolled down the hallway which seems to be full of drunk freaks .

"So we're going to run a CT scan to check to see if you are experiencing a concussion" the doctor explains.

They roll me into the room, my heart beating a million miles an hour. I spend the next hour inside an incredibly fucking tiny tube, loud clanking noises attacking my ears.

"Alright Miss Swan," I hear the doctor say as they slide me back out. "I'm going to have the nurse take you back to your room and I will be there shortly."

I just nod, a lump in my throat forming. When I get back there I am beyond relieved to see both Rose and Alice sitting in chairs beside the bed.

"Hey," I squeak out.

They both say "hey" back in unison, all of us falling silent.

"Alrighty," the nurse says, "I'm going to give you an IV to replenish your fluids."

I widen my eyes, instantly feeling nauseous. If there is one thing I hate in this world it's needles.

"No you'll only feel a little pinch," she says as she jabs the needle into my arm.

_Fucking pinch my ass._

Shortly after she wraps up her torture, she leaves the room.

The three of us remain quiet, no one knowing what to say.

"What time is it?" I say in a raspy voice.

Alice whips around, grabbing my purse from behind her. She digs through it, pulling my cell phone out. My heart instantly starts racing again.

"Give it to me…" I say, holding out my hand.

Alice looks up at me confused, "Its 3:45."

"Alice, give me the damn phone," I say harshly.

She holds it out to me and I wrench it from her fingers. My heart instantly drops.

No missed calls. No new texts.

I burst into tears again, and a wave of anger overcomes me. I pick up my arm and launch my phone at far as I can, hitting the wall. I can hear the glass front break, the pieces falling to the floor. I pull on the blanket, throwing my body down in a sleeping position, pulling the blanket over my head.

I lay there under the covers, every single moment of last night replaying over in my head. I go through waves of emotions, most of it consisting of me being incredibly pissed off. Deep down I always knew something like this would happen; I should have known better. I close my eyes, hoping to erase this all from my memory.

0o00o0

I open my eyes, secretly praying it was all a dream. I push the covers slowly off my face, and instantly become disappointed. My eyes scan the drab, grey hospital room. I notice Rose and Alice still in the chairs beside me, both of them asleep.

I slowly pull the rest of the covers off my body, now realizing I have the incredible urge to pee. I put my feet on the ground, recoiling instantly from the cold linoleum. I try again, going slower this time. Once I get stable, I finally realize how dizzy I really am.

After a few seconds, I start walking until I feel a painful pinch in my arm.

_Fuck!_

I look down, the needle in my arm straining backwards.

_For the love of Christ._

I reach back, grabbing the IV pole from my bedside, wheeling it with me. When I finish up, I make my way back out to the room, Alice rushing over to help me.

"Bella, you should be up walking around. You have a concussion."

I look over at her confused.

"The doctor came in while you were sleeping, he didn't want to wake you. He said rest was important."

I can feel the tears gathering again.

_He hurt me. In more than one way._

Alice helps me over to the bed as I slide back under the covers. I lay there for a few more minutes, until I hear my stomach rumble.

"Hey Alice," I whisper. "Do you think you could go get me something to eat?"

She pops out of her chair instantly, a large smile on her face.

"We would love to Bella," she responds as she kicks Rose's foot. Rose stands up, her usually pissy look on her face.

They make their way for the door, until I call out to Alice. She turns to look at me.

"You're going to be an incredible mom," I say smiling.

"Stop it. You're going to make me cry," she says, then turns to leave.

Alone.

For the first time all night I am alone. And much to my surprise, I'm not happy about it. I sit there, scanning the room, staring at nothing in particular. I find a clock on the wall.

4:15.

What the fuck? I was only asleep for 30 minutes.

As I continue to sit there, my eyes begin to feel heavy again, my body beyond tired, and I easily surrender to it.

**EPOV **

I remain seated on the floor, the crowd now finally dispersed.

Jackson and Emmett remained standing next to me, almost like a protective barrier.

And then I see it, the flashing lights.

A moment later I see a man in a uniform approach me. I pull myself from the floor, my heart racing fast.

"Are you Edward Masen?" the cop asks me.

"I am," I respond.

He pulls something from his belt, the metal bouncing in the light.

"Were going to have to take you down to the station," he says, now holding the handcuffs in my direction.

I turn around, clasping my wrists together. The officer puts them on, spinning me around to face the front door. As we start walking, I shoot Emmett and Jackson a "fuck" look.

And just when things couldn't get worse, I spot the media out front. They instantly start snapping away. I shift, hoping to hide my face. The cop opens the door for me, sliding me inside. I keep my head down, hoping this fucking nightmare will be over soon.

_This was supposed to be the best night of my life. What the fuck happened._

The officer slides back into the driver's seat.

"Can we get the fuck out of here," I grumble, the flash bulbs drowning out the squad car lights.

He shoots me a look out of the rear view mirror.

"Please," I add.

He starts to pull out when a photographer steps in front of the car.

"What the fucK?" he says confused. "Are you famous or something boy?"

"Yeah, something like that."

When the other officers contain the media, we pull away from the bar. A short drive later we pull up in front of the station, and I am pulled from the cruiser. When we make it inside, I pull everything out of my pockets, placing them in a small basket. I look at my phone quickly.

No missed calls. No new texts.

"Alright, now were going to take your mugshot."

_Fuck._

They hand me a sign with my name on it, the flash from the camera stinging my eyes. And before I know it I am sitting on a bench in the holding cell.

_How the fuck did I get here? I am supposed to be in my bed right now, holding the woman I love and celebrating the biggest victory of my career. Where the fuck is that rewind button. Someone shake me and wake me up from this nightmare._

I close my eyes tightly and try to wake myself up. I open them again. Nope. Still here. I scan the room, looking at my new roommates.

_What a bunch of fucking losers. _

I lean back against the cool concrete. It's now that I feel the immense burn in my hands. I look down, both of them covered in blood, the skin ripped open.

_Fucker deserved it and more. _

I close my eyes, but my mind doesn't rest. Then I hear my name being called.

"Masen!" I hear as I see another detective walking up to the gate.

I stand up, happy to get the fuck out of here already….

"Do I need to put the cuffs back on you, or are you going to behave?"

I shake my head. I follow behind him until he ushers me to sit in a chair. I sit, waiting for him to say something.

"So what happened tonight? We got the story from the other guy, now it's your turn."

I inhale deeply.

"I attacked him," I admit, no point in hiding it. Too many witnesses.

"Were you drinking?" he asks.

I shoot him a "really" look. He jots something down.

"From what I have heard this isn't a first time thing with you two."

"No." I state. "It's an ongoing thing," I say smiling.

He sits back in his chair, studying me.

"Well this is obviously a family matter," he says.

I shoot him a jagged look.

"The other boy said he's your brother in law," the officer states.

I burst into a laughing fit.

"Brother in law, right…"

_Now that fucker claims to be family. _

"Well, in any case, we've decided to let you go, and the boy has decided to not press charges."

I think my chin hits the floor.

"But all I have to say is straighten yourself out boy."

We both stand up, and I reach out, shaking his hand.

"Thank you sir and I promise you will never see me again."

I start to make my way to the holding counter to collect my things, before the officer calls out to me again. I turn back around to face him.

"Congrats on becoming World Champ," he says.

I just nod, and give him a smile. I grab my things from the basket, and walk outside the station, the rising sun in the sky. I immediately pull out my phone, scrolling to find her name. I feel the chunks rising in my throat.

_What the fuck am I going to say?_

I take a deep breath, hitting the call button. My heart instantly sinks when I hear it goes straight to voicemail, but I hold on, just hearing her voice calms me. I hang up, immediately redialing. I become aggravated when it goes straight to voicemail again.

_What the fuck did you expect? _

I hang up, but instead dial Jackson.

"Man are you ok?" he asks me.

"Fucking peachy," I state. "Where is she J? I know you talked to Alice."

I hear him sigh into the phone.

"Man I don't think she wants to see you."

"You didn't answer my fucking question," I spit.

I hear him sigh again.

"Sunrise Hospital," I hear him say.

I think my heart skips a beat.

_My Bella. _

I click my phone off immediately, not saying goodbye to Jackson.

"TAXI!" I say as I walk into the street.

Moments later one pulls up and I climb inside.

"Sunrise Hospital, and as fast as fucking possible," I say, the cab driver punching it.

_At least someone gets the fucking severity of my mood. _

Minutes later we arrive at the emergency room and I can't seem to pull myself from the cab.

"You alright man," the cabbie asks, looking at me in the rear view mirror.

I throw him a hundred, and then exit the car. I remain on the sidewalk, a million things running through my mind. I almost forget to how to walk.

_Right. Left. Right. Left. _

**BPOV**

I am startled awake when I hear shouting on the other side of the door. My heart begins to beat rapidly. I can only hear a female voice which I soon place as Rose's. But then I hear it.

Him. His velvet voice, calm and serene. I almost feel like I am dreaming. I can hear my heart beating in my head. I look down to see that my hands are shaking.

_What the hell is wrong with me? This is the man I love…I think. _

I sit impatiently in the bed, as much as I want to fly through that door, my mind keeps replaying him hitting Jake over and over. I start to cry again.

_God damnit._

I wipe them away as fast as they are falling. I can't let him see me like this. But then my heart drops as I hear a large bang. Seconds later, I see the door crack open, my eyes fixated on it.

"Bella?" I hear, but it's not the face I was expecting.

Alice slides in the door quickly, holding a bag of food in her hand. She walks over to me slowly, her clearly knowing that I heard outside.

"Rose refused to let him in…" she says as she places the bag on the table, then wheels it over to me.

I say nothing as I really look down at the food bag in front of me.

"Really Alice?" I spit out.

"What?"

"Out of all the places to get food you had to get fucking In N Out?"

She looks up at me confused.

"It was the only thing that was open," she says in a depressed voice.

I inhale, "I'm sorry, you didn't deserve that."

She walks over to me, waving her hand, telling me to scoot over. She then climbs into the bed next to me, and I feel like I can finally relax. I pull the bag from the table, peeking inside.

"You better be sharing," she says. "This damn baby wants to eat 24/7."

I reach in pulling out the basket of fries, handing them to her, then retracting my hand.

"Are you ready for a food orgasm?" I say laughing.

"Bella, I'll take any orgasm I can get," she says.

We're sitting in silence, munching on our food, when Rose walks back into the room. She walks over immediately, grabbing a handful of fries. She slouches back down in the chair and begins talking to herself.

_I feel like I'm in the fucking Twilight Zone. _

"What about my stuff?" I say so that only Rose can hear me.

"Don't worry Bella, I'll get it."

**EPOV **

I finally cowboy up and make my way into the hospital, immediately heading to the help desk.

"May I help…." The worker starts to say, but stops once she looks at my hands. "Oh, let me go get something for you."

Just as she lifts herself from the chair I stop her.

"I'm fine." I start. "I'm actually in kind of a hurry."

She sits back down, and continues to look up at me, a soft flush coming over her face.

_Maybe I can use this to my advantage._

I put my elbows on the countertop, leaning in so that she and I are close.

"I really need your help," I start to say, giving her my best smile. "A friend of mine is supposed to be here, and I would greatly appreciate it if you told me what room she's in."

The girl continues to smile nervously.

"What the name?" she asks, her fingers ready on the keyboard.

I swallow, my lips don't want to form her name, knowing it will only cause me pain.

"Isabella Swan," I finally say just above a whisper.

The girl's smile instantly drops.

"Room 143," she says, her voice monotone.

_I don't have time for this shit._

I blurt out a thanks, then make my way down the hallway, the intense feeling of needing to vomit overwhelms me. I scan the hallway…

_120_

_122_

_126_

_130_

_133_

_137_

_141_

_143. _

The door is closed, and I can't seem to make myself go in.

_She hates me. How could she not?_

I slam my forehead into the door, my breathing labored.

"Can I help you sir?" I hear a soft voice come from behind me.

I pull my face from the door, seeing the nurse in front of me.

"Uhh..." I start to say. "Is she…ok?"

The nurse looks me up and down, noticing my disheveled look.

"Are you family?" she asks.

_If you say she's you're girlfriend they won't tell you. _

"Uhhh, she's my sister," I say, hoping she won't catch my lie.

_Guess I'm lying about family relations today too. _

The woman smiles.

"She's ok, has a very mild concussion, but just mostly needs to rest."

_How could I hurt her like that? After everything…_

"Thank you," I respond.

"She's all alone right now…I'm sure she would love to see you."

_I'm sure I'm the last fucking person she wants to see._

The nurse leaves, and I place my hand on the door knob, until I see them. Rose and Alice are making their way down the hall.

_Here we go._

I pull my hand from the door, facing them. Rose walks out in front, her body tense.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing here!" she starts to scream at me.

"I need to see her, I need to explain," I say, looking past Rose to Alice.

"She's doesn't want to talk to you, I would think her leaving the bar got that point across," Rose says, as she slides between me and the door. "And if you don't leave I'm calling security."

_Fucking bitch. _

"Alice…." I say, hoping she'll be the voice of reason here and contain her sister.

But her eyes drop to the floor. "Edward, I really think you better go. She's not ready to see you yet."

I drop my head, a sign of my surrender.

"Please, tell her to call me," I say to Alice, and then walk past her, making my way out of the hospital.

When I get outside, I am somewhat relieved to see Emmett and Jackson sitting out front. I walk up to them, both of them just staring at me.

"You look like shit man," Emmett says.

I look up at him and I swear it takes every fiber of my being to not drop him right here.

"So what did she say?" Jackson asks.

"Nothing, cause I didn't see her."

"How come?" Emmett asks.

"Mother fucking hen, that's why," I spit out.

"Yeah, I knew Rose was going to be a problem," Emmett responds, looking up at the hospital.

"How you ever slept with the bitch is beyond me," I say, walking out into the parking lot.

We all climb into my rental, Emmett climbing into the driver's seat. On any other day I wouldn't have that shit, but I could care less at the fucking moment. As we pull out of the parking lot, I look back, the lights of the hospital glowing.

The distance between us grows.

**Alice POV**

I hail down a cab, heading back to the Bellagio.

When I reach it, I get into the elevator, replaying what I am going to say over and over in my head, my stomach doing flip flops. As the elevator ascends, I place my hand on my belly.

_Enjoy those fries little one because you won't be getting them often. _

When I hear a ding I pull myself from the elevator, realizing this is going to be harder than I thought. I slowly make my way down the hall, raising my hand to the door but realize it's cracked open. I push the door open slowly, walking slowly into the hotel room. I scan the living room, noticing it is empty, then hear a noise coming from the bedroom.

My heart rate quickens.

"Edward ," I call out.

I then see him sprint out of the room, his smile fading quickly.

"I thought you were Bella," he says in a depressed voice as he walks over to the couch, plopping down.

"Uhhh no," I say. "I came to get her things."

His head pops up.

"She's leaving?" he screams.

He then gets up, making his way over to me.

"Tell me what to do Alice. I'm lost without her…I need to see her."

I open my mouth, then close it again.

"Sit Edward," I say, ushering him to the couch.

I sit down on the opposite end, just watching him. I swear he's aged since the last time I saw him.

"Why won't she answer her phone?"

"Because she threw it at the wall," I say, laughing a little.

He looks at me confused.

"She was apparently mad that you didn't call her immediately," I explain.

I see his head drop. "I was in jail," he says.

I gasp.

"Well that explains why you didn't call."

"There are a lot of things I haven't been able to explain," he says looking down at the floor.

We are silent for a few minutes.

"She's stubborn," I start to say. "And angry and confused."

"She has every right to be," he says softly. "I hurt her Alice. The one person who gave a fuck about me."

I look at him shaking my head.

"You have a family who loves you. Whether you know it or not."

I hear him laugh.

"Yeah, a dad who could care fucking less whether his kids are dead or alive, a sister who had a illegitimate child with my best friend, a mother who's fucking death I can't seem to get over."

My heart aches for him.

"I'm not saying that she will forgive you, because only Bella can do that, but just give her some time. You have to work through all the bullshit in your head. I think she honestly thought you were gonna kill him Edward. If she hadn't tried to stop you, I think she thought you'd have kept going. You were scary last night. You have to get some help to deal with all this anger. "

He doesn't respond, but gives me a quick nod.

"Well I better get going," I say standing up. "Can you show me where her stuff is."

He gets up from the couch, walking into the bedroom. I get up and follow him in. He walks over to the closet. I see him shuffle around, then turns around slowly, an armful of Bella's clothes on hangers. He silently walks over to the bed, putting the clothes on top of it. He then slowly begins to pull them off, folding them neatly and putting them into Bella's bag.

My heart breaks for him. He truly looks…lost. Silent tears are sliding down his cheeks. He doesn't brush them away. I don't even think he realizes they're there. He touches her things almost reverently, like he's trying to memorize them.

After about 10 more minutes he walks back over to me, holding out her bag out to me. I reach out slowly, sliding it out of his hand.

"I'm so sorry Edward," I softly say.

"I have no one to blame but myself…" he states, so matter of fact.

"Just give her time," I say, and then turn around to leave.

"I'll walk you down," he says, opening the door for me.

Edward and I make our way down to the lobby, neither of us saying much. When we reach outside, he walks over to the door man, and has a brief conversation. After a few more minutes, I see a black Lincoln Town car pull up under the awning.

Edward walks back over to me.

"Don't think someone in your condition should be going around in taxis."

"I'm only 9 weeks," I laugh.

"I meant more of a woman….alone."

"Thanks Edward," I say, leaning up to hug him. "I hope I'll get to see you soon."

I pull back from him, giving him a squeeze on the arm. The driver gets out, opening the passenger door for me.

"Goodbye," I say, sliding into the seat.

When I the door closed Edward instantly knocks on the window. I roll it down, and he leans down, putting his elbows on the frame.

"Please, tell her I love her. More than anything in the world. And I always will."

* * *

**Unfortunatly I have been incredibly busy at work and have had very little time to write, but I am REALLY going to try to update ASAP, but it wont be more than 2 weeks, I promise!**

**And just a little note: I am not a doctor, nor a lawyer. I tried to make the hospital scene/jail scene as realistic as possible, but I did bend things a little to make the story work!**


	21. Chapter 21  If Tomorrow Never Comes

**A/N: A huge thank you to everyone still reading and reviewing! Love you all!**

**A HUGE shoutout to my beta, I don't know how you take this crap and make is all into a cohesive chapter! I love you!**

**So my friend and fellow ff writer RobstenCuteness came up with the idea for me, her and eveningrainjlho to all write a a dream sequence in the chapters we are posting this week. Each scene contains "Easter eggs" so make sure you read there's as well! Links are at the bottom of this chapter!**

**Oh and side note: PL WILL be a HEA! So don't fret yet. And according to the prologue, B and E don't see each other for a year, and that year starts after this chapter...but time WILL go fast, each chapter jumping months at a time! Can't leave y'all hanging TOO long. **

**As ever..I hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

BPOV

"Bella!" I hear someone scream.

I snap out of my comatose state and look up at Rose.

"Were going to get Starbucks, do you wanna come?" she says, and then pauses. "Or if you just wanna stay here, I'll be more than happy to get you something."

I look up at her in disbelief, a smile washing over my face. She rolls her eyes.

"Carmel Frappuccino," I say. "Thanks Rose."

She and Alice make their way down the terminal, and before long they are out of sight. After Edward left the hospital and Alice went to go get my things while I was released, no longer needing to be under observation. The minute I stepped outside of that hospital, I felt a sense of relief, knowing that horrible night is now a thing of the past. I hadn't even seen Edward with my own eyes since the bar, but truth be told I wasn't ready to face him. So there was only one thing to do…and that was go home and regroup.

"Flight 192 to Seattle will begin boarding in 15 minutes," I hear over the intercom.

I zone out again until I see a gigantic blended drink being swung in front of my face.

"Jesus Christ," I say as I reach up to take it from Rose. "Are you trying to give me a fucking heart attack?"

"Figured you could use the caffeine Bella; Are they sure you're head injury isn't more severe? You've been a zombie all morning."

I give her my evil eye.

"I wonder fucking why," I snap back. I put my lips to the straw sucking back, the sugary goodness hitting my throat. I think I even sigh a little. It's the first thing I've had to eat since the hospital.

"Now boarding for flight 192 to Seattle. At the moment we are boarding out first class passengers only," an attendant says over the intercom.

I almost laugh to myself, thinking how fucking awesome it's going to be going back in coach. But then my heart wrenches a little.

_Edward. _

My mind is still in a fog. I feel so lost…and confused. I still can't quite understand how we got to this point. I felt so happy with Edward, almost at times forgetting about how bad his temper was. How crazy those first few weeks were with all his temperamental mood swings and mixed messages. It's amazing how fast your life can change. Just as fast as Edward came into my life…he left. I know that Edward didn't mean to hit me, but the fact that he was so far gone to not notice that I was around was what scared me. If I hadn't stepped in, what would he have done to Jake? Would this happen later on down the road? Would the outcome of that be worse? Would Jake and Edward banter ever stop? Does me being there in the middle make it worse? These are questions that play over and over again in my head.

After about another five minutes, they finally call our section and I pull myself from the chair, handing my ticket to the attendant. "Have a nice flight," she responds as she hands me my boarding pass back.

I don't respond, but unconsciously look behind me, hoping that maybe, just maybe he would come to running up, and sweep me off my feet.

_Damn Disney movies._

When I realize that's not happening, I swivel on my feet and make my way down the jet way. I make it about halfway down until my feet unconsciously stop in their tracks; my body feeling like it is being pulled toward something. And then I hear it. My name being called faintly.

_It's just in your head Bella._

I take another step forward, but I can't seem to shake it.

"Bella!" I hear again, this time its loud, its booming down the jetway. I spin around, my eyes meeting the emerald green I have been longing for. I freeze, my body not able to move forward.

_NO! You shouldn't be here! I don't want to see you right now!... Oh God it's good to see you. I fucking love Disney movies. _

I am a fucking mess.

I now notice that there is a security guard with his arm around Edward's chest, forbidding him to go passed the ticket booth. Edward stares at me, his eyes begging me to come to him, and I can't tell myself no. I put one foot in front of the other, the distance between us getting smaller, my heart beating faster. When we are merely a foot from each other I smell his musky scent, my body relaxing a little. Edward just continues to stare at me, his eyes soft and apologetic.

"What do you want Edward?" I squeak out, mildly annoyed and embarrassed that everyone still in the terminal is now staring at us.

He shifts, looking down at the arm across his chest; I can tell he's tense. My eyes shift from his face to the security guard.

"Seems things haven't changed," I spit out.

Edward looks at me, "Please tell him I'm not a threat to you," he says, his face instantly realizing what he just said.

I turn to the guard, "It's ok," I say nodding.

The guard instantly drops his arm and backs away. I walk back over to the seats in the terminal, trying to put space between Edward and I and the other passengers.

"Why was the security guard holding onto you Edward?" I ask blatantly.

"Well" he starts out. "When I heard that your flight was boarding I ran while getting a body scan, they apparently don't like that," he says laughing, but stops immediately when he notices I'm not.

I look down, now noticing he isn't wearing any shoes.

"Left my wallet too," he smiles.

There is a pause of silence.

"I know Alice told me to give you some time…" he starts out, instantly getting my attention. I stop him.

"Alice told you to stay away from me?" I choke out.

He nods. "She wanted me to give you some space to think."

I instantly become angry. "I have been waiting for you to call…show up…anything…"

He leans into me a little, my heart starts to race.

"Bella, I tried. I showed up at the hospital, but Rose has her mother hen hat on real fucking tight. And I tried to call you, a hundred times, even after Alice told me you smashed it, but I still continued to call it, hoping by some miracle you would pick up."

_Fucking Alice. She just can't keep her mouth shut._

"What's there to say Edward?" I say bitterly.

"I just need to explain myself, I need you to realize that I would never hurt you intentionally. You are my world Bella."

He reaches up to touch the stitches on my forehead. I recoil, not letting his skin come in contact with mine. I can't take his hands on me right now, knowing that I will falter and probably forgive him for everything. His hand instantly drops.

"This is the last thing I wanted for us Bella. It breaks my heart to see you withdraw from my touch. I want nothing more than to hold you."

"It's not that simple Edward, there are a lot of things wrong with our relationship," I start. "I can't live my life waiting for the next episode, living in fear of what guy you're going punch in the face next." I stop, my breathing becoming erratic.

Edward's head is down, he's clearly lost the ability to look at me.

I continue on. "You are a wonderful man, and you know that I love you," I say, trying to hold back the tears that are now threatening to fall.

His head instantly snaps up, and I can now see that he is crying. And is obviously ashamed of it, because he is wiping the tears as fast as they fall.

"You still….love me?" he says in a whisper.

I swallow. "I do Edward, and you should know that. But as of right now the love I have for you is complicated. It because of my love for you that I have to do this. Things need to change and they need to change fast," I explain.

He opens his mouth, but I put my hand up.

"I need to get this out…" I start. "These past three months have been the best of my life. But every time things got good, it would get worse. I knew that you were hot headed but now I actually have to worry about you…and I don't like that."

I hear him huff. "You had a lot of baggage when I came into your life, and I feel like I have only made things worse by being here. The thing with Jake…"

Edward interrupts me. "Don't even say that the Jake thing is your fault…that has been one big fucking problem in my family for 4 years now, long before you ever came along," he says bitterly.

"That may be the case, but I know that my presence only worsens the wound. You almost killed him Edward…another human being."

"I did not almost kill him," he defends.

I sigh. "I see that I'm not going to get anywhere."

He stands there staring at me, me staring back at him trying to determine who will break this empasse. I don't know what comes over me, but I take a step toward him, leaning up on my tippy toes, placing my lips on his. I instantly know this was a bad move. My lips melt into his, my worries and fears disappearing. I feel his strong arms wrap around my back, pulling me in closer. I become lost in our kiss, feeling his warmth on my face, his tongue exploring my mouth. I know now that I have to pull back or I might just forgive him for everything right here and now. I reach down, prying his hands from my hips and pull my lips from his. I look up into his eyes, my heart breaking all over again. As much as I want to forget everything, I can't.

"I have to go," I squeak out, and I turn and walk down the jetway, not looking back. Not because I don't want to. But because I can't. I know he won't be coming after me this time. I know I've just left him standing barefoot in the airport terminal with a shattered heart and no wallet.

When I reach the door to the plane, I feel dizzy, my heart pounding. As I make my way to the back of the plane, I find a pissed off Rose, and a content Alice.

_How can these two even be twins?_

I slide into the empty seat next to them.

"What took you so long?" Rose inquires, noticing my disheveled state.

"Edward showed up," I say just above a whisper, looking down at my hands.

"What?" Alice screams, getting the attention of every fucking person on the plane.

"Jesus Christ Alice," I say looking up at her. "Could you attract more attention?"

"Oh whatever," she says waving her hand in the air. "What did he say?"

"Not much…" I say sharply. "I told him how I feel, and then I kissed him."

"You what?" Rose now screams.

"Will you two shut the fuck up," I say, my cheeks now flushed and warm.

I pull my knees up to my chest, closing my eyes. _I just want to be home. _ I reach into my bag, pulling out my iPod, shoving the headphones into my ears. I close my eyes, hoping that sleep will make this flight go faster. When the feel the plane descend I open my eyes, now noticing that the battery on my iPod died sometime ago. I look over to Alice and Rose, both occupied. Resting my head on the hand, I peer out the window, seeing the lights of the familiar city. I know that I am home, but this city now seems foreign to me, like something is missing. The haul back to the house is long, especially since Rose just _has _to complain about the airline getting her Louis Vutton luggage dirty. Sometimes I want to fucking kill her.

As the cab gets closer to the apartment, my chest becomes tighter and tighter. I pull my luggage from it, and make my way up the stairs slowly. I shift my eyes around, now realizing that there are memories of him everywhere. Even the front door reminds me of him for fuck sake. I stand there staring at it, until Rose comes up the stairs and barges through.

"So good to be home," I hear her say, then the sound of her luggage hitting the ground.

Moments later, I feel Alice's arms slide into mine, her body supporting me.

"Come on B," her voice says softly.

She goes to take my suitcase out of my hand.

"Don't Alice," I choke out. "You're the pregnant one."

She laughs. "Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I am completely useless."

I don't let go of my luggage, and instead we walk into the apartment together. I instantly let go of her, my eyes starting to sting.

"I'm just gonna go…" I say, barely getting the words out as I rush to bathroom, slamming the door shut behind me.

I grip onto the counter, hoping like hell it will hold me up. My breathing is becoming rapid, my heart rate quickening. I turn on the faucet, running only the cold water. Shoving my hands under it, I cup the water, and then splash it in my face. _Fuck, that's cold._ I lean up, letting the water roll down my face and onto my shirt. I glare at myself in the mirror, shocked by what I see.

My face is thin looking, the color in it nonexistent, except for the intense dark bags underneath my eyes. I turn my head to the side, almost expecting the thing that is looking back at me to not move. I am distracted though when I see a gleam coming off my body, the bathroom light hitting the diamonds of my necklace.

_I guess I never took it off__. _

I reach up to the back of my neck, my fingers finding the clasp, but I stop myself. Instead, I pull open the collar of my shirt, tucking the charm in behind it. _No one will notice__. _ I glide over to the toilet, sitting down on the closed lid, and place my head into my hands.

_How did my life get to this point? What the fuck am I going to do? How could he do this to me…to us._

I feel so lost, and alone. When my body starts to become slack, I pull myself upright, pulling open the door of the bathroom, immediately seeing Alice and Rose in the family room. I walk past them, making my way to my bedroom hastily. When I enter it, I shut the door with my body. I lean up against it for a few minutes before my knees become weak and buckle. I can't hold back the tears anymore, and my face instantly becomes wet, my chest heaving hard.

"Bella…." I hear as some raps on the door. "Are you ok in there?"

_Fine and fucking dandy. _

I don't answer. I reach up, clicking the lock on my door quietly, not wanting anyone's sympathy at the moment. I hear the handle jiggle, but after a few seconds it stops. I feel truly alone. I get on my hands and knees, and crawl my way to my bed, sliding my body between the sheets. I lay there for hours, the sunlight through the shades dims, nightfall overpowering the sky. My body is tired, but my mind is restless. Every time my eyelids threaten to fall, Edward's face appears from behind them and I snap them open again. When I can't take being in this room any longer, I fling myself out of bed, grabbing my purse and a sweatshirt along the way. I sail across the apartment, flinging my purse onto my shoulder. "Bella…where are you…" I hear until I slam the front door shut. I hastily make my way out of the apartment complex and onto the streets of downtown Seattle. I'm quickly glad I grabbed a sweatshirt on my way out, the chilly night air creating goosebumps all over my body.

_Fucking Seattle weather. _

I walk for blocks, soon realizing that this probably wasn't a very good idea, but I just wanted to be in my favorite spot. When I make it to my destination, I look up, still marveled by it after so many years. My dad and I first came here when I was little, and I have been obsessed with it ever since. The view is absolutely breathtaking. I make my way over to the ticket booth. "Welcome to the Space Needle," the clerk in the kiosk says. I just smile, sliding a twenty on the counter. "One adult." She gives me my change and I make my way into the building, waiting impatiently at the elevator banks. When a few other people gather around me I put my hood up. I stare at the elevator, instantly remembering the elevator in LA.

_Am I going to have to move to fucking timbucktoo so I won't be constantly reminded of him? _

I slide into the corner of the elevator, hoping to get away from the gobs of people shuffling in behind me.

_God damn tourists._

We make the ascent to the top, reaching it in under a minute. When the families filter out I head to the left, most of the other people heading right. I push open the heavy door, walking to the edge, gripping onto the large fence around the top. I look out over the horizon, every light of the city glowing. I love this view, it calming me in a way that I can't explain. But then the cold air hits me like a wall, my body now shivering, but I'm not ready to leave. I stand there for what seems like forever, just staring at the families passing me by, not paying any attention. I look down at the kids being lifted in their parent's arms, a look of wonder on their faces. I laugh, realizing I have a place to think. A place that my father used to take me. My favorite spot. I then wonder why I never told Edward about it. I continue to stand in the same spot, running my jagged fingernail on the ledge. I then hear a voice.

"Ma'am," I instantly get chills.

I turn, seeing a young couple standing out in front of me. They both smile.

"We were wondering if you would be so kind to take our picture."

"Sure," I squeak out, taking the camera from his extended hand.

I walk around them, so that their backs are now facing the view. I hold the viewfinder up to my face, centering the couple in it.

"One…two…three…" I say, hitting the shutter button.

I silently hand the camera back to them.

"Do you want to look at it to make sure you like it," I say softly.

They look at it, seeming content.

"Thank you," the young woman says. "We have been wanting to come here for a long time."

I smile. "Where are you from?" I ask.

"Nevada," they say in unison.

My heart drops, the fucking tears pooling. I turn and leave without saying another word. I rapidly walk back into the lobby, hitting the elevator button multiple times.

_Hurry the fuck up. _

Luckily, it comes up quickly and before I know it I'm back on the streets. It must be well beyond 11:30 now, but I really have no clue considering I have no phone. I reach the apartment, dragging my haggard ass up the stairs, tired from all the walking I have done. I creak the door open, hoping that Alice and Rose have gone to bed. When I peek in the house is dark…and quiet. I sigh, and take a step forward, slowly making my way to my bedroom. I make it to the door, fling it open, and instantly feel something slam into my kneecaps. I flick on the light to see a furball at my feet.

_Shit. I almost forgot about her. Rose or Alice must have picked her up from the boarders. Guess I inherited the bad mother gene. _

I pick her up, feeling her soft fur against my face. I relax a little, almost surprising myself. I walk over to the bed, sliding both if us in, Bree adjusting herself in a more comfortable position. Having her snuggled up to me is like a little connection to what my heart is missing. I fall asleep quickly, almost feeling at peace.

EPOV

Fast forward: 3 days after Las Vegas

_I feel like I'm being suffocated. I reach up, feeling my attire. I'm in a suit. _

_Why in the hell am I in a suit? _

_And that's when I look down, seeing the massive hole in the ground at my feet, the border of it adorned with flowers. I pull at my tie, the feeling of suffocation only getting stronger, but it doesn't seem to loosen. I look around at the empty chairs beside me, noticing no one else is around. The isolated feeling makes me panic more, but I don't let my face show it. But then an intense calming feeling comes over me, a soft finger skimming across me cheek. _

"_Edward, don't fuss with your tie. You look nice," the female voice purrs, my heart skipping a beat just hearing it. _

_I unlock my finger from the knot of my tie, folding my hands in to my lap. I turn in my chair so I'm now facing her. Her green eyes are vibrant, like the life never left them. We sit there silently, her hand sliding into mine. _

_I don't feel so alone anymore. _ "_What am I going to do mom?" I ask lightly. "You must be so ashamed."_

_Her hand grips mine. I don't even have to explain further for her to understand what I am referring to. _

"_I could never be ashamed of you son, but you know I never approved of violence. I raised you better than that."_

"_I know," I say ashamed, feeling like I am 10 again. _

_She gives me a smile. _ "_You need to make things right Edward, and I'm not just saying with Bella."_

_Hearing Bella's name come of my mother lips brings me both great excitement and worry. _

"_You're holding onto so much anger baby."_ _I know she's right, and hearing it from her has so much impact._

"_It's not fair, I feel so lost."_

"_Just have to just follow your heart, not your fists."_

_I can't help but smile._

"_I miss you so much," I croak out. "It still feels so new."_

_She runs her hands through my hair._

"_I never really left sweetie. I might not be there in body, but I have always been there for you in spirit."_

_She leans over, kissing my cheek. _ "_Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life."_

_I sigh. My mom always had a way with words._

"_And I will always love you my son, and I know that you your life will be full. Forgive your father for not being the parent you need. Forgive Jacob for not being ready to be the parent Charlotte deserves. And my son…let yourself finally forgive me for leaving you and never saying goodbye."_

"_Mom… I'm not angry at…"_

"_Shhhh… my son. You've never let yourself finish the steps of grief. You've just stayed stuck inside the anger. Let me go now. It's time to live your life."_

_Before I have a chance to answer, her figure dissipates before me, a full length mirror in its place. The reflection in it is me, but not the "me" it should be. Instead it's me, give or take 50 years. I'm old and fail, my suit fitting extremely loose. I shift my eyes up and down, the reflection following. I reach out to touch the glass, and that's when I notice it._ _There is no ring on my left index finger__. _

I fling my eyes open, looking up at the fast moving clouds in the sky. I lean up on my elbows, the tall grass now flattened by my body. I had to come here, the place now reminding me of not only my mother, but Bella as well. I figured if I can't be with Bella in body, I can be with her in soul.

It's been a couple days since we got back from Las Vegas. I still feel like it's all a dream…or maybe meeting Bella was the dream. I don't know. I pull out my phone, finding her number. I hit call, and I am not surprised when it goes to voicemail.

"Bella's voicemail is broken. This is her refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets."

I can't help but laugh. I know that Alice told me her phone was broken but I still find myself calling it multiple times a day, just needing to hear her voice.

I pull myself up from the ground, brushing the grass of my pants. Walking over to the edge of the cliff I look out, the town stretched out below me seeming so mundane…and boring. I then look down, the drop seeing exceptionally deep today. I kick the loose pebbles out over the edge, watching them fall to the ground at a rapid pace. The sun is hot today, making my skin clammy, my jeans and shirt tight against my skin.

_I need a fucking drink._

Walking back over to the meadow, I pull my motorcycle helmet from the ground, sliding it onto my head. As I make my way back to the bike, I pass by the lake, remembering the time when Bella and I skinny dipped. My heart instantly drops when I see an elegant swan gliding across the top of the water. I stand there staring at it for what seems like an eternity, until it flies away and out of eyesight.

_They seem to like doing that._

I climb onto my bike, racing out of the woods as fast as it will take me. I even think the front tire lifts off the ground at one point. I make my way to downtown in no time, the sun now dipping down behind the buildings. I park my bike near the back door, pulling off my helmet, taking it with me.

_Don't fucking trust anyone._

I open the door, the blaring music immediately hitting my ear drums. I make it into the main room, the place already starting to fill up. I scan my eyes behind the bar, finding Jackson easily. Sliding onto an open barstool, I wait for him to see me.

"Hey man," he says coming over, shaking hands.

"Hey," I respond.

"How's things going?" he asks.

I give him a look that needs no further explanation. He then walks away, coming back moments later with a two full shot glasses. I let out a breath.

"Read my fucking mind," I say taking one from him.

I shoot it back, the familiar burn feeling fucking fantastic. I slam it back on the counter, Jackson refilling it without a comment. I run my finger along the rim, looking up at Jackson.

"How is she?"

"Don't really know man. Alice has been pretty tight lipped about it."

_Fuck._

"But their right," he adds.

I cock my head, confused on his last comment.

"You've gotta do something about this anger issue. If you could have one outta body experience… that would be the moment I would make you watch. You scared the fuck out of us all."

I look down at my hands.

"I really fucked it up didn't I?"

He leans his elbows on the bar. "Edward, I've known you you're entire life. I've seen the way you were before your mother's death, and how it has drastically changed you. You were always such a little shit," he says laughing. "I think you held the record for most detentions acquired in one semester."

I smile, "Dude, you knew I fucking hated high school."

"That may be true. But this isn't high school anymore. That anger that you thought was funny, and that everyone thought was just a passing teenage phase or a product of your mother death, is ruining your life."

My smile instantly drops.

"You know I'm not the type of person to be harsh, or really to interfere in other people's affairs… you are my cousin, but we are more like brothers, and I'm fucking worried about you."

I lean back and fold my arms in almost a defensive matter.

"And Bella is the best thing that has ever happened to you, there is no denying it"

_I'm not. _

"And if you truly want to fix things between you two, you're going to have to get help."

I grumble. Just what I want to do is talk to someone about my "feelings."

_Fucking pussy._

"And Alice is probably going to kill me for doing this, but here," he says, handing me a cocktail napkin.

I take it, looking at the number written on it.

"If this is a number to a mental health facility I'm going to wring your fucking neck," I say joking, kind of.

He laughs. "Dude, as much as I want you to get help, well fuck, as much as we _all _want you to get help, that's only a decision you can make," he says, then pauses. "It's the number to Bella's apartment, since she no longer has a cellphone."

My heart skips a beat.I literally have to hold myself to the chair so I don't fly across the bar and hug this incredible man. I fold up the napkin, sliding it into my front jeans pocket. For some reason I feel relieved, knowing I now have a way to contact her. I look back up at Jackson, his mood shifting.

"What's up man?" I ask.

He hesitates, then opens his mouth.

"Well as you know Alice is pregnant…"

I give him a "no shit" look.

"Well, we've been talking…"

"Just spit it the fuck out…"

"She's moving here."

A tinge of jealousy radiates through my body. I stand up, leaning across the bar, hugging him.

"That's awesome dude."

"Yeah, I'm pretty stoked."

"Speaking of changing...I have to admit, never imagined you in this situation 10 years ago."

"Right? But things just feel so right...I couldn't ask for anything better."

"Are you going to just live at your apartment?"

"Nah, she's actually coming up next weekend to look at houses. Can't raise a baby in a studio."

"Yeah…I'm really happy for you man. Alice is a great girl. And you're gonna be a fuckawesome dad" I say, my jealousy rising.

"Well, I'm going to head out," I say slamming the second shot back.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

I slide off the seat, pulling my helmet off the bar. I walk back down the hallway, busting out the back door. I lean against the wall, my chest feeling tight. I feel like an addict, in desperate need of a fix.

_I'm a fucking mess. _

I pull out the napkin, along with my phone. I dial the number with hesitation, my heart beating with every ring.

BPOV

I lay in my bed, exhausted from my day. I didn't do much, but just getting off my ass makes me exhausted. I run my hands up and down Bree's coat, like it's my new security blanket. She suddenly bolts up, her ears perking up.

"What is it girl?" I ask her.

_Great. Now I'm talking to the damn dog__._

She lets out a loud howl, and then begins to whimper. I reach up and pet her head.

"Shh its ok…" I continue to say as I run my hand across her head.

Moments later I hear a knock on the door, resulting in Bree barking protectively.

"Come in," I say. I see the door handle turn, Rose coming through the door.

"Phone for you," she says handing it out to me.

I look at her confused. No one ever calls me on this phone.

_Well genius. You DID smash your phone._

"Who is it?" I ask.

"It's your dad," she says laughing.

_Bitch is weird._

I take it from her, but don't put it up to my ear until she leaves.

"Hey dad," I breathe into the phone.

"Bella…" I hear the soft velvet voice say.

_That fucking bitch lied. Wait…why would she WANT Edward to talk to me?_

My heart begins to race, almost so fast that it making me nauseous.

"Edward, how did you get this number…" I ask."Wait, never mind, I already know the answer to that question."

We fall silent for a few seconds.

"I miss you," he says. "So badly."

I sigh. I don't want to lie to him.

"I miss you too Edward. It doesn't change anything. Sorry."

"I feel so lost without you Bella."

Sometimes his hold on me is stronger than I wish it was.

"Have you tried to get help yet Edward?" I say, trying to keep the conversation productive.

"No." He says then pausing. "But when I say that I promise I am working on it, I mean it. I know what I need to do Bella. I'm going to get this fixed. I have to. I can't live without you in my life."

For some strange reason I believe him.

"When can I see you again?" he asks.

"I don't know, I still need time Edward," I say, becoming a little aggravated.

"I love you Edward, I just don't know what to do."

I hear him sigh into the phone. "Neither do I. All I can say is please don't give up on me. You are my life Bella, and I'm sorry for the way that I have handled things. I love you. Please don't give up on me," he says, and the sound of crying coming through.

I hear his end click off, and I instantly become discouraged, but almost relieved.

_Will we ever work this out? _

* * *

***sigh* Dontcha just wanna smack them? ;)**

**I hope that most of you are reading The Cliff and Sexy Silk because they are fuckawesome, but incase your not!**

www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6741241/2/The_Cliff

www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6659413/1/Sexy_Silk


	22. Chapter 22 Wish You Were Here

**A/N:**

**I'll keep this short.**

**This chapter is sorta "tame." Thought we could all use a breather from all the sadness and angst :) But dont worry, next chapter we'll be right back to it. **

**I also tried to incorporate some humor too!**

**Also there is only 2 more days for voting for Perfectly Lonely in the Sunflower Awards! thesunflowerawards(dot)blogspot(dot)com/p/voting(dot)html**

**As ever, I hope you enjoy it! **

* * *

**BPOV**

It's been a month since I last talked to Edward. He still continues to call here regularly, but I feel right now talking to him will only complicate things even more.

_Or maybe it's because I'm scared. _

I'm still going to my classes, counting down the hours and minutes until I graduate. I honestly don't know how I am even passing my classes still, considering I spend most of my time staring at the wall…and the ceiling….and the floor.

"Hey Bella," I hear as a finger tap on my shoulder.

_Fuck me._

"What Mike?" I say sharply, keeping my voice low so that I don't get the teacher's attention.

"You think maybe you could help me with this?" he says, pointing to his notebook. "I don't get it at all."

_That's because you're fucking retarded. _

"I don't know Mike, I'm really busy…" I say, trying to think of a better excuse.

"Oh," he starts. "Got to hang out with your amazing rich boyfriend?"

I sigh.

"Yeah, I looked him up. Didn't think of you as a materialistic girl."

_Did I ever tell you I hate your fucking guts__?_

"I'm not," I say, the lump in my throat forming.

"Well then, why can't you come over?" he pushes again.

I stay silent.

"Bella," he says a little louder.

"Because I don't fucking want to, you asshole!" I scream as I bolt out of my chair, not caring about anyone's reaction.

"Can we help you Ms. Swan," my professor says, and it's then I notice the lecture has stopped, everyone staring at me.

"I don't feel good," I say as to my teacher as I pick my backpack of the floor and make my way out of the classroom.

I run down the hallway, glad that there aren't a lot of people around. When I make it to my truck, I slide into the seat, slamming the door shut behind me. Sitting there, I now realize how fucked up I really am, and that's when I can't hold on any longer. I start to cry and I don't stop for what seems like forever. My body becomes limp and I lay down on my seat, curling up into the fetal position. As I lay there for a while, my disposition changes from depressed to angry.

How did I let myself become so wrapped up in this? I never wanted a relationship; I was fine before he came along. I was fucking fine.

I snap upright, shoving my keys into the ignition.

_I need to get the fuck out of here. _

I pull out of the parking lot as fast as possible, making it back to the apartment in record time. When I fling open the door I am happy that no one is home, except for Bree, who is standing on the back of the couch with her hair raised.

"Oh don't give me that shit," I say, walking over to pet her head.

I'm glad that no one is home because I really don't feel like dealing with them today. Alice with her peppy disposition and Rose with her fucking negative comments. I pull my luggage bag from the closet, shoving random outfits in it, not really caring what they look like. I grab Bree's leash, clipping it onto her.

"Come on, were going to go on a little vacation," I say to her.

Her tail instantly starts wagging. I write a quick note telling the girls that I am going home for the weekend, then get back into my truck. Pulling out of the complex, I jump onto the 5. I make it to Forks in less than 3 hours, only because I was speeding, pushing my truck as fast as it will go. My father wouldn't be too happy knowing that. I pull into the driveway off a familiar two story house, feeling already more relaxed than I was back in Seattle. It's a relief to be in a place that doesn't hold memories of Edward everywhere I turn.

I remain sitting in the truck, pulling out my makeup bag out of my backpack. I am thankful I decided to bring it with me. I pull out my concealer, hoping to hide the dark circles under my eyes. I lather is on, rubbing it in.

_Better than nothing._

I pull open my car door, walking up to the porch slowly. When I reach it, I waver at the door.

_What am I going to tell them? _

I haven't told them about Edward, not really wanting to make a big deal about it.

_Shit. I've really been gone too long. _

Especially telling my dad and brother about him never seemed like a good idea. I lean my head against the door, smacking it against it over and over.

"Bells?" I hear behind me.

I spin around, seeing my dad behind me standing at the bottom step, a greasy rag in his hand. At that moment, I don't know what comes over me, but I fly down the steps, slamming my body into his, my arms wrapping around his neck.

"Woah, what was that for?" he says, laughing lightly.

"I've just missed you," I say, swallowing the lump in throat.

_How do I even have any tears left?_

My dad wraps his arm around me tighter, silently telling me he knows something is wrong. Charlie and I always had a special connection. Most of the time we do our best communicating without even speaking.

_Great. Now I'm going to have to tell him. _

"Whatever it is Bella, I'm sure it's going to be alright," he says, petting my head.

_If you only knew._

A moment later I hear "Oh. My. God" being screamed from behind us. I pull myself from my father's arms, turning around so that I meet my mother's.

"It has been WAY too long since you have been home Bella, we've missed you," she says.

"I've missed you too mom…it's been an interesting couple months," I say, a small laugh escaping me.

"Well we will just have to catch up then…" my mom starts to say before my dad interrupts her.

"What the hell is that Bells?" he says, pointing to my truck.

I look over, seeing Bree sticking her nose through the small slit of the rolled down window.

"Oh, that's Bree," I say smiling.

"When the hell did you get a dog?" he asks.

I try to think back, counting the weeks in my head.

_Shit. I can't even remember what I did yesterday. _

"Uhh a while ago," I say shrugging. "She was a gift."

"Well if that thing shits on carpet I'm not picking it up," Charlie says completely serious.

"She's potty trained dad," I retort.

I walk over to the passenger door, letting Bree out to roam free, but she chooses to stay close beside me. I also pull my suitcase from the truck cab as well.

My dad and mom's faces light up.

"Do you mind if I stay the weekend?" I ask.

My mom comes and runs up to me again, hugging me even tighter before.

"Bella, this is your home. You never have to ask if you can stay."

_Home. _

My father walks over to me, taking my bag out of my hand.

"Come on, let's go inside."

All three of us walk into the house, the familiar smell of apples and cinnamon hitting my nostrils as soon as we walked into the foyer. I turn to my mom, my eyes widening.

"You did not…" I say to her.

She smiles. "Just came out of the oven."

I rush off to the kitchen, stopping in my tracks when I see him.

"Look what the cat dragged in," he says, taking a bite straight out of the center of the pie.

"Eric, use a plate," Renee says, pulling 4 plates from the cabinet.

"Bella, can you get some forks?" she says to me.

I turn around, grabbing some from the drawer. The four of us sit down at the kitchen table, my mom cutting each of us a piece, mine slightly bigger than everyone else's. We all sit there in silence and it's now that I decide that coming to Forks was actually a good idea.

"So, my dear brother, what are you doing here? I thought you were in Vancouver with the band?"

"Ehh, were on a break at the moment. But we're going back into the studio next week. Thought I would come home for a little while. But if I knew you were coming…" he says smiling.

"Bite me," I say, shoving a forkful of apple pie in my mouth. "God how I have missed your cooking," I say, turning to my mother.

"Bella, don't talk with your mouth full," she says.

I roll my eyes.

"So my dear sister, what are _you_ doing here?" Eric asks.

_Well let's see…I feel in love with a rich hot as fuck cowboy who repeatedly beats the shit out of the man who I thought wanted to be my friend, but who also ended up being his sisters' baby's daddy. Oh yeah, and he shoved me violently into a bar when we were in Vegas._

"I don't know, just wanted to come home I guess," I say shrugging.

We all resume eating our pie, my mom talking our ears off, no one really listening.

"Well, I gotta go finish up in the garage," Charlie says, pushing his plate back.

"What are you doing.." I inquire.

"Dad and I started a new project," Eric says, his face lighting up.

"I wanna see!" I say getting up.

As soon as I get up, I trip over something, my body slamming into the hardwood floor. Almost instantly I feel wetness on my face. I look up to see Bree standing over me, her mouth open. I then burst into a laughing/crying fit, my family looking down at me like I'm nuts. My brother comes over to me, picking me up off the floor.

"I see that you are still fucking crazy," he says.

I smack him across the chest, wiping the tears off my face. Without another word I make my way out the front door, Eric and Charlie following me. Bree zooms past us, flying down the porch and into the yard.

"BREE!" I scream, not wanting her to go too far.

"Don't worry, the property is completely fenced in now," Charlie says.

I turn to them confused.

"When did that happen?" I ask.

"Umm about 4 months ago. Eric came down and we worked a whole weekend and got it completed."

A twinge of guilt and jealousy runs through me.

_I have missed so much._

We all walk into the garage, and my eyes can't believe what they are seeing. Before me is a sleek black Chevelle. It's not in as great of shape as Edward's, but its oddly reminiscent.

_Even when I try to get away from him...I can't._

"When the hell did you start this project?" I ask bitterly.

"One of my buddies was selling it for real cheap. Needed a lot of work though."

I just stare at the car for what seems like forever.

"Bells, you ok?" Charlie asks, clearly noticing.

"Yeah," I say shaking my head, hoping to clear the fog. "I think I'm going to go take a walk."

I walk back to the truck, grabbing Bree's leash; clipping it onto her, then head off into the woods with her in tow.

_I just need some peace and quit. _

I wander around the woods, feeling like I am 10 again. I used to come out here all the time when I was pissed off or angry. I look down at Bree. She's clearly enjoying being out and about as well. Reaching down, I unclasp her leash, letting her roam free. After a few more minutes I find a flat rock, realizing how tired my lazy ass is.

_Fuck, I need to get more exercise. _

I sit down, the weather a little more chilly that Seattle. I wrap my arms around myself, not really helping at all. I inhale deeply, hoping that being here would help me forget him temporarily. But I now know that was a silly idea.

**EPOV**

"Good afternoon," a young blond female receptionist greets me.

"Hello," I say, nervously.

_I don't get nervous, well except for maybe when I'm around Bella. _

"I have an appointment with Dr. Weber at 11:30," I spit out.

The girl looks down at her calendar.

"You must be Mr. Masen," she smiles.

"Yup."

"Well, if you can have a seat over there, she will be with you shortly."

"Thank you," I say as I make my way over to the waiting room.

I look around the room, still not believing that I'm actually here. If it weren't for anyone but Bella, I would have told them to fuck off. But Bella is my life, I need her like I need air. It's been over a month since I have seen her that day at the airport, and I don't think my body can take it much longer. I need to feel her soft skin against mine, her plump lips massaging mine.

_Great. Now I'm hard. _

"Mr. Masen," I hear, it instantly snapping me out of my day dream.

I look up to see an older woman standing in front of me, a chart in her hands. I stand up, holding my hand out to her.

"Pleasure to meet you," she says. "I'm Doctor Weber."

"Nice to meet you," I say.

She turns back into the room and I follow. When we get into it, I look around. It's small, with two chairs and a small table in the back of the room, a desk in the front.

"If you will just have a seat," she says, ushering me to one of the chairs.

She immediately looks at my chart, the silence making me even more on edge. After what seems like forever, she looks back up.

"So, can you start by telling me why you're here?"

_Here we fucking go._

I look down at my hands nervously, a small laugh escaping me. An image of Bella pops in my head.

"Because I hurt someone I love."

She continues to look over at me.

"And why do you think that is?"

"Because I'm a shitty person," I state.

"I doubt anyone thinks of you in that way."

I laugh.

"I'm sure you can find more people that think that way than those that don't."

She stays monotone. I open my mouth again, and then shut it immediately.

"Edward, I want you to know that what you say in here is completely confidential, everything stays between you and me."

She pauses.

"And the ONLY way that this is going to work is if you put effort into it."

I sigh as I rub my hands together.

"I'm just not use to explaining my feelings, ya know?"

She smiles.

"Most of my patients are very guarded in the beginning, but after a while they open up."

_Good luck with me._

"Why don't we just start from the beginning? What or where do you think your anger is derived from?"

_Where do I start?_

She must have noticed my puzzled look because she changes the question.

"When did you first experience extreme anger?"

My heart wrenches.

"The day I came home from school and found out my mother was dead," I state.

She goes to write something down, but stops herself.

"Is it ok if I take notes?" she asks me.

"It's your call Doc," I say, waving her on.

She continues to write stuff down. I'm not gonna lie, its making me more than a little edgy now. I fidget, surprised on how much I want to get this out.

"But I wasn't mad at my mother for leaving us behind, I was mad at my father."

And that's just when the words just starting falling out and I can't seem to catch them. Before I know it, she is stopping me.

"Wow," she says smiling. "Unfortunately I'm going to have to stop you here. Our hour is up."

"Oh ok," I say a little embarrassed.

"But I would like to see you again soon," she adds. "You can make an appointment with Jessica, my receptionist. You did really well Edward. Really well."

"Great," I say, getting up from the chair.

She ushers me out of the room, and I make my way over to…

_Fuck. What was her name?_

"So Dr. Weber would like you to schedule another appointment, when would be best for you?" she asks, fluttering her eye lashes.

"Uhh…"

_Fuck. I don't even know what my schedule is._

She must notice my confusion, because she starts blurting out dates.

"How about next Wednesday at 4?"

"Uhh I think I'll be in New York that day."

"Ohh New York. I have always wanted to go there," she says smiling.

I internally roll my eyes.

"Ok," she says, looking down at the computer again.

"How about that Friday? At 2?"

"Yeah sure," I say, trying to not let my excitement show.

_Men were never hardwired to talk about their feelings._

She hands me an appointment card, and I thank her, and then leave the office as fast as my feet will carry me. As I walk out to my truck, I pull out my wallet to slide the card into it, but I notice handwriting on the back.

"Call me – Jessica: 356-9536"

_Fucking subtle. _

I fling the card onto the ground, not wanting Emmett finding that shit.

_God knows he would. I know that boy fucking snoops._

I climb into my truck, immediately pulling out the pack of cigarettes from the glove box. I shove one between my lips, lighting it immediately. I take a long drag from it, the nicotine instantly calming me. I replay the meeting back in my head, now realizing how fucked up my life really is. The flashes of every moment with Bella plays in my mind like a movie, my body instantly crumbles and I fall back against my seat, smacking my head against the glass rear window.

"Fuck," I breathe out, feeling even more frustrated.

I take another drag from my cigarette, holding on so long that most of it burns up. When I finish that one I instantly grab another. Pulling my phone from my pocket, I tinker with it, not wanting to go to practice just yet. My finger subconsciously flip through the photos, and my heart wrenches when I see it….when I see her.

She must have taken it when I wasn't in the room.

_My Bella. _

Bella is laying in the bed in Vegas, wearing nothing but her horseshoe necklace. Her arm is slung over her chest, just enough to cover her nipples, but the most of them still very exposed. She is also blowing a kiss, her perfect lips in an "o" shape. I continue to stare, my cock pressing against my pants, hating and wanting at the same time.

_How could she do this? How could I do this?_

She is my world, and I fear that she always will be, whether she wants me back or not. The night replays in my head, haunting me. Before I know it I feel warm liquid pour from my eyes. I wipe it away, trying to get a grip.

_When did you turn into such a fucking pansy Masen?_

I look up from the screen, only to notice the receptionist chick exit the building.

_Must be her lunch hour or some shit._

I sit up straight, turning onto the ignition. The Raptor roars to life, the muffer making a loud purring sound. She immediately looks up in my direction, and I duck under my seat.

_Yup. I'm a pussy._

_When have I ever HIDE from a woman before? _

After a few minutes I sit back up slowly, hoping she missed me. When I see that the coast is clear, I put the truck in drive, pulling away from the parking lot. I make it to the arena in record time, just wanting to get this fucking shit over with. When I pull into the lot I immediately see Emmett, who is just crawling out of his truck. I pull up next to him, blaring my horn in the process. Exiting the truck, I immediately feel relieved. I'm so tired of being fucking alone.

"Hey man," I say, walking up to Emmett, giving him a manly hug.

"Hey dude, you alright?" he responds.

"Yeah, I'll be ok after a while," I say shrugging. "Never expected it to last anyways. Always knew she was too good for me."

He punches me hard in the shoulder.

"Dude, what the fuck?" I scream, clearly confused.

"Wow, you are getting soft," he says grinning. "Can't take a fucking hit anymore."

"Fuck you man," I spit.

He punches me again, but this time in the other shoulder.

"You do that again and I will fuck your shit up," I say seriously, but I can't help smile a little.

"Just making sure Masen isn't turning into a fucking pansy with all those anger management classes."

I laugh.

"I've had one meeting man; I don't think I will spurt a vagina anytime soon," I laugh.

He stops laughing, instantly becoming serious.

"I'm glad that you are doing this though, in all seriousness. Not just for Bella's sake, but for your own. You have been a sad angry little man for a long time."

I shoot him a pissy look.

"Come on, were gonna be late," I say, walking towards the back entrance.

0o0o0oo

Practice was a fucking bitch; every muscle in the body is throbbing.

I pull into my garage, heading upstairs immediately, an article of clothing coming off with every step. Walking into the bathroom, I flip on the shower, jumping in immediately. The hot water feels amazing on my the tense muscles and back. I look down, my dick standing fully erect.

_Fuck. It's been a long time._

I reach around, grabbing my body wash, squirting some into my hand. Lowering my hand, I grip my cock in my hand, stroking the shaft slowly up and down. Closing my eyes, I begin to pump faster and faster, my dick responding with every pull. But it doesn't take more than a few seconds for her to appear before me, this time in the fashion of the picture. I scan her face, her sweet lips, tracing my mouth down her porcelain skin, my tongue tracing over her breast. My dick hardens immensely, it's hard it hurts. Pumping furiously, it only takes a second longer for me to come. I lean back up, both my back and now arms killing me. I quickly wash my hair and body, just wanting to fucking lie down at this point. Drying myself off I pull on a pair of boxer briefs, sliding into my bed.

"Goodnight Bella," I whisper, knowing there will be no response.

**BPOV**

"Morning sweetie," I hear lightly.

_My mother._

"Mmm…" was all that I could muster up.

I feel my bedside shift.

"Wake up Bella," I hear again, soft fingers touching the hair that's spewed across my face.

I flick one eye open, seeing a dark mass in front of me. Its then that I notice the entire room is still mostly dark.

"What?" I shout, vaulting myself upright. "Whats wrong?"

Renee begins to laugh.

"Nothing is wrong sweetie, I was just coming to wake you up."

I lay back down, pulling the comforter over my head, only to have it pulled back down after a few seconds.

"I thought we could spend some time together, it's not every day that my daughter is home."

_This is the fucking exact reason why. _

"But mom, I just want to sleep," I grumble.

"Fine," she says in a depressed voice, her body weight leaving the bed.

_Fucking Jedi mind tricks._

"Fine…." I say, letting out a loud sigh. "Just give me 10 minutes."

After about what I believe to be 9 minutes, I slowly pull myself from the bed, walking over to my suitcase. I pull on a tshirt, a sweatshirt and jeans, then walk to the bathroom, pulling my hair into a sloppy ponytail. I walk out into the kitchen, my father already at the kitchen table, a mug of coffee in hand.

"Morning," I mumble as I fall into an empty chair.

But then my nose perks right up, smelling the aroma swirling around the kitchen.

"French toast?" I say excitedly.

"Just for you baby," Renee says, sliding 2 pieces onto the plate in front of me.

I go to reach for the maple syrup in the middle of the table, but another hand clutches it before I do. I look up to see Eric standing over me, syrup in hand.

"If you don't give it back to me I will murder you," I say, squinting my eyes.

"Bring it on little sister," he says, grabbing my head and giving me a noogie.

"You are so dead bro," I say as I lift myself from the chair, chasing after him.

We go around the table a few times, my legs not seeing to be able to catch up with him.

"God, what have you been doing in Seattle? Your slow as hell Bella," he taunts over his shoulder.

But then I get an idea. I stop, in my strides and quickly spinn around so that I am now going in the opposite direction. Before I know it, our heads collide, a pain radiating from where my now small scar is located.

"Fuck!" I scream out, clasping my head.

"Bella! Language!" Renee screams.

"Fuck shit asshole fuck," I scream again.

"So mature Bella," she says again, shaking her head.

"Looks like you got beauty over brains," Eric says, seemingly unfazed by our collision.

Renee walks over to me, pulling my hand from my forehead.

"Your fine," she says, but then pauses. "I don't remember seeing that scar on you…"

My heart races.

"I probably walked into a door or something," I say quickly hoping it will change the subject.

"Sounds like you," Charlie says, eating a forkful of French toast.

"Thanks dad," I mutter, sitting back in the chair.

We all sit quietly now, each of us finishing our breakfast slowly.

"Well I better head out," Charlie says as he stands up, taking a last large gulp of his coffee.

"Be safe," I say, nodding to my father.

"Always am," he responds, giving me a wink. "And have a good time with your mother," he adds, laughter in his tone.

_Asshole._

After he leaves, and then Eric filters out, my mother and I get ready to leave.

"What should I do with Bree?" I ask.

"She could come, dogs are allowed where we are going," she says.

I look at her confused, but don't really press is any further. The three of us pile into my mom's car, Bree happily sitting on my lap with her head out the window.

"Don't you think she is a little big to be on your lap?"

I turn to my mom, giving her my best bitch face.

"Don't give me an attitude missy."

A few minutes later we pull in the Thrift store parking lot, adorned with mini tents everywhere.

"What the hell is this? A cult gathering?"

I feel her hand smack me on the leg.

"When did you turn into a pissy little bitch?"

An involuntary gasp leaves me.

"It's a farmers market," she adds.

Oh yippee.

I pull myself from the car, pulling up my hood. Bree jumps from the car, wrenching me into the woods, in opposite of the tents..

"Bree, slow down….SLOW DOWN!" I scream, getting the attention of everyone in the parking lot.

So that makes like 7 people looking at me.

_Freaking small ass town. _

"Bella, can you please come this way?" Renee asks, pointing to the market.

"I'm trying," I shout.

I wrench Bree so that she starts to head off in the right direction, but still at an incredible rate.

"And this is exactly why we never had dogs," she says.

_Just go get your shit lady._

When Bree calms down after a few minutes we start to stroll the booths, my mom feeling the need to introduce me to everyone, even though I have know most of them for more than 15 years. When we come across the produce tent, I immediately recognizing the girl behind it.

"Bella!" her delicate voice shouts out.

_Knew I couldn't come to this town without running into someone from high school._

Well actually, I've known Angela since I moved here from San Francisco. She is one of the few people from here I can actually stand.

"Hey Angela," I say smiling, walking over to her.

She gets up from her chair, wrapping her arms around me.

"You look so good Bella," she says as she releases me.

I give her a "you're blind" look.

"Thanks," I say softly. "You look really good too."

"Thanks!" she responds.

A few minutes later a young boy comes running up, wrapping his arms around Angela's leg.

Angela bends over, picking him up.

"Now sweetie, I want you to meet an old friend of mine, this is Bella," she says.

The young boy holds out his hand, and I shake it gently.

"He isn't yours is he?"

"Oh god no," she says laughing. "He's my nephew."

_I breathe a sigh of relief. Glad not EVERYONE has a kid except me._

"Wait, so this is Tommy's kid?"

"Yeah," Angela says smiling. "He's married too…"

Tommy was the local bad boy in Forks. When I was a freshman in high school, he was a senior. Every girl I knew pined for him, but I knew the real Tommy. For as long as I can remember, he was always getting into trouble. Even after they shipped him off the the military, the moment he came back he was in trouble again. I never pictured him with a child, let alone him actually having one of his own.

"So is he…married?" I hesitantly ask.

She laughs.

"Surprisingly yes. They have been together for 6 years. And he is a wonderful father and husband. Guess it just took a little more growing up for him to see what he was missing."

My heart soars a little.

_Maybe there is hope for Edward. _

"They aren't the only ones getting married," she says, holding out her left hand.

On it is a delicate, but beautiful diamond.

"That awesome Angela," I say, wrapping my arms around her again. "I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks," she says into my ear.

We pull away from each other.

"So..." she says nudging me. "Any man in your life."

_Ha._

"Uhhh," I start to say, then stop.

_What the hell do I say?_

"It's complicated."

She cocks her head to one side, giving me the "spill" look. I look around me, noticing that Renee is headed our way, and Angela notices as well.

"How long are you in town?" she asks.

I shrug. "I'm supposed to be in school right now, but I just had to get out of town…you know what I mean."

"Boy, do I ever," she responds, both of us giggling. "Well if you decide to stay the weekend I would love to have coffee with you or something. We could just…talk."

_That actually sounds really nice. An opinion of someone on the outside would be nice. _

"That would be great," I say. "Uhhh I don't have a cell phone, so if you need to get a hold of me I'll be at my parent's house. Same number."

"Great," she says. "Well I hope to see you soon!"

"Me too," I say, then leave to go meet up with Renee.

"Hey sweetie," she says when I get beside her. "Run into someone you know?"

"Yeah, Angela…you've known her for like 10 years."

"Oh my god! That was Angela? She looks like…a woman."

"And what the fuck do I look like…a toddler?"

"Well you do sound like a truck driver with that mouth of yours. When did you become so aggravated and easily angered? Is school stressing you out too much honey?"

_Where do you want me to start?_

We walk back over to the car, and I put Bree in the back seat this time.

"So what are we going to do now?" I ask, looking over at her.

"Whatever you want to do baby," she says, smoothing out my hair.

"Home," I whisper.

_I just want to be home. _


	23. Chapter 23 Like We Never Loved At All

**A/N: Arnt you guys spoiled...Two updates in one week ;)**

**Just wanted to quickly say thanks again for everyone still reading and reviewing! **

* * *

**BPOV**

So I decided to stay the weekend due to the fact that I had a "date" with Angela. I love Alice and Rose, but sometimes being that close to your friends can be stifling. Sitting on top of my bed, I thumb through my senior year yearbook, laughing at crazy ass pictures of people at that school. The sad part…there were only 100 people in my graduating class.

I hear a light knock on the door.

"Bella?" I hear Renee say.

"Come in," I respond.

She enters the room, sitting down on my bed softly. I continue to look down at the yearbook, thumbing through the pages. I feel my mom's hand come up, pushing a piece of hair out of my face.

"Are you ok sweetie? Because you know you can tell me anything."

I hesitate, but something tells me my family has the right to know, and surprisingly, I want to tell them.

I turn to her, shutting the book.

"You have to promise to not freak out," I say sharply.

She nods softly.

And just like that it all spills out, when I'm finished it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulder. When I finish, I sit back, waiting for her reaction.

And waiting.

And waiting.

"Mom!" I scream. "Say something, you're freaking me out."

She continues to be silent, but instead of talking, she wraps her arms around me.

"Bella," she says, her voice cracking. "I am so sorry honey. I can't believe that we are so distant now that I didn't know what was happening to you."

The lump in my throat becomes too much, tears starting to fall slowly down my cheeks. She pulls away, wiping my tears with her sleeve.

"What are you going to do?" she asks hesitantly.

"I don't know..." I breathe out. "I feel so lost."

"What does your heart tell you?"

"To forgive him…"

"And your head?"

"That it will truly never stop unless someone who loves him pushes him…. Forces him to face it."

I pause.

"But, can someone like that really change?"

She looks puzzled.

"Anyone can always change. It's just the drive to change that can differ in each person. From what you tell me it sounds like this Edward is really in love with you. I hope winning you back gives him the incentive to deal with all this anger. "

_I don't know if that makes me happy…or more pissed off._

I let out a loud sigh.

"I think what you did was incredibly brave Bella. Not many people would leave someone they love. You recognized that he needed help."

"Do you hate him?" I ask nervously.

"Baby, I don't use the word hate. And no. We all have our stories. Now I'm not condoning his behavior, but do you truly believe that he meant to hurt you?"

_Fuck._

"No."

She smiles.

_"I just want to make sure you_'re making the _right_ choices for _you. _Cause_ yo_u're the one who has to live with them."

I give her a non-enthusiastic smirk.

That's when we hear another knock on door. A second later my father pokes his head in.

"Bells….Angela is on the phone for you," he says, handing it to me.

I put it up to my ear.

"Hey Ang…"

"Hey Bella…you still free to meet up? I could definitely use some girl time. "

"Sure!" I say, shocked by the excitement in my voice.

"Great…I can swing by and pick you up in like 30?"

"Sounds good," I say, clicking off the phone.

I notice that my dad is still in the room. He shifts from me to my mom, then back to me.

"Everything going ok?"

"Oh yeah," Renee responds, putting her hand on my back. "Girl stuff."

The look on my father's face is priceless. He then he proceeds to turn around, bolting out of the room.

I turn to my mom, hoping that our "discussion" is over.

"Angela is going to be here any minute," I say, removing myself from the bed.

Walking over to the mirror I check my face, making sure I don't look like I've been crying all morning. I'm not surprised when I do.

_Fuck it._

I turn around, grabbing my coat and purse, and leave the room. My mother follows.

"Now promise me you two will be safe tonight, two girls out on the town…"

I roll my eyes. Thankfully she is behind me so that she can't see.

"Mom, were not 15 anymore. We can handle ourselves. And I can't imagine any shit goes down in Forks. If I remember correctly the last time anyone was robbed was before I was born."

"I just worry about you Bella. You are my daughter."

I sigh, and then turn to her.

"I know you do mom. And I appreciate it."

"Just promise me next time you'll come to me. I don't like feeling like all this was going on in your life and I knew nothing about it."

"I know…. It all just happened so fast mom. I didn't mean to shut you out. I promise. It won't happen again."

She gives me a small smile. Moments later I hear Angela's voice on the other side of the front door. I pull it open seeing Eric and Angela on the porch. I pull on my jacket as I join them.

"Eric, get away from here, she's an engaged woman," I say laughing.

Angela shoots me a look.

"What?" I smile.

"I know, all the good ones are always taken," Eric says, looking over at my direction. "So what does that say about you?"

I kick him in the shin, and then fly down the porch steps, knowing he'll be pissed about that. A few seconds later I feel my body being lifted in the air as Eric throws me over his shoulder. He starts spinning fast, my vision and mind being blurred.

"Eric….stop…." I say in between laughs.

But of course he doesn't. I start to feel nauseous.

"If you don't put my down, you are going to have fucking vomit down the back of your shirt."

He immediately stops, placing me on my feet.

_Great. Now I just feel fucking dizzy._

I stand there for a few seconds until my vision starts to return back to normal. My eyes fall on Angela, who is now standing on the driver's side of the car.

"Brothers," she says laughing. "Such assholes."

"Tell me about it," I say as I walk over the passenger's side.

"Guess it's true," she says opening her door.

"What?"

"Men never really do grow up."

My heart sinks.

0o0o0o00

Dinner with Angela was really nice. We talked about a slew of things, ranging from our days back in elementary school to her engagement. And of course…._he_ came up.

The rest of the weekend I just hung out at the house, enjoying the peace and quiet. But before I knew it…it was Sunday night. I threw my bag into the truck and coaxed Bree to jump up in the cab.

I turn back to my family.

"Well, you better get going," Charlie says looking up at the sky, "it's going to be dark soon."

I roll my eyes.

"I'll be fine dad. Millions of people drive at night."

We walks up to me. "But they _aren't _my daughter. On the road. Alone."

I lean up, wrapping my arms around him. "I love you," I whisper into his ear.

"I love you too Bells," he responds. Then he whispers, "And you just let me know if you need me to come down and deal with whoever put the sad look in your eyes this weekend. I'd be glad to teach _him_ a lesson. "

I pull back from him, smirking and shaking my head. I knew my mother wouldn't have told him about our conversation, but I guess Charlie was a trained investigator. And I guess he knew a broken heart when he saw one.

My mother immediately wraps her arms around me.

"It was so nice to have you home baby, I miss you so much."

"I miss you too Mom," I say muffled into her hair.

I pull back from her, my brother next in line.

"Bye jerk face," I say, punching him in the stomach.

"See ya snot nose," he laughs backs.

I climb into the truck, immediately rolling down the window.

"See you in a few months sweetie," my mother calls out.

I look over at her confused.

"Graduation..." she says laughing.

_Oh. Yeah._

I pull out of the driveway, giving a little honk on the way out.

And just like that…I am alone again.

**EPOV**

I really hate fucking waking up alone. Actually…I fucking despise it. And you know what's funny? For as long as I can remember... I always woke up alone. That's before Bella came along.

I slept like shit last night, a normal occurrence these days. The extreme exhaustion is making me extremely fucking irritable. Pulling myself from my bed I saunter downstairs, hating the fucking silence. But just as that thought runs through my head, I immediately take it back.

I hear the cabinet slam shut, knowing exactly who it is.

"Don't you have your own fucking house?" I spit.

"I've been put on Masen suicide watch," Emmett responds, taking a sip from his coffee mug.

"On fucking what?"

"Suicide watch," he smiles.

I roll my eyes.

"I'm not going to kill myself, Jesus."

I walk right past him, pulling a mug from the cabinet, then making my way to the coffee maker, noticing it's empty.

I sigh. Loudly.

"Off course it's fucking empty," I say, slamming it back into the cradle.

"Who got your fucking panties in a bunch?" Emmett laughs, taking another sip of his coffee. "Mmmm…this is really good, you should try some."

I grip onto the counter so fucking hard I think the granite might crack.

_Fucking asshole is testing me._

I breathe out, letting the frustration go with it. Reaching up, I pull the coffee grounds, measuring an exact amount, then do the same with the water. Walking over to the fridge I pull out some eggs, cheese, mushrooms and bell peppers.

"Dude, are you making fucking omelets?" Emmett says, his tone like a two year olds.

I can't help but laugh.

"You hungry?"

Just as the words leave my mouth, I know that is a stupid question. As I prepare it, I put Emmett in charge of chopping up the mushrooms and bell peppers. I think that he is even a worse cook than Bella. When it all finished, I pick up my plate, walking out the coach, sitting down. A few seconds later Emmett appears, sitting down on the opposite end, continuing to stare at me.

"What?" I say sharply, getting fucking agitated again.

"Bro, you know you are eating…in your living room…"

"So…" I spit.

"If I remember correctly, you flipped your shit when my drink left a ring on your coffee table."

I just continue to eat.

"Gotta learn to let shit go I guess," I say, my mouth full.

Emmett drops his fork on the floor; it's making a loud smack noise. I curl my toes, really wanting to fucking pick it up and propel it into his kneecap. After about a minute, Emmett must have realized that I'm not picking it up, so instead he does, resuming to eat with it.

"Fucking nasty," I say shaking my head.

"What?" Emmett looks up, clearly not getting what I'm talking about.

I then hear shuffling in the hallway. I assume its Jackson, because frankly…who the else would it fucking be? But boy was I wrong.

I see her hair first, then her petite frame. And for some reason my heart begins to race. Maybe because she is the only connection to Bella I have.

"Hey boys," Alice says smiling.

I try to smile back, but my insides are hurting. Emmett throws his plate on the coffee table, and bolts upright from the couch, picking her up.

"Hey little one," Emmett says, spinning her around.

"Put the pregnant one down," Jackson says, coming up behind them.

A few seconds later he does, but still holds onto her.

"So how's that damn sister of yours?" he asks. "She sure is giving me a run for my money."

Alice laughs.

"That's what Rose does."

She then turns to me.

"A girl can't get a hug?"

I set my plate on the table as well, getting up slowly off the couch. As I make my way over to her, my heart races even more.

_Christ. Get it together Masen. It's not her._

I wrap my arms around her, never realizing how small she is until now. Pulling away from her, I look over at Jackson.

"Hey man," I say, him returning with a smile. "Are you guy's hungry?"

"Nah, we just ate, but thanks."

I walk back over to the couch, resuming my breakfast. I continue to look at Alice, noticing a slight bump on her stomach. A twinge of jealousy radiates through me.

"So how did the house hunting go?" Emmett asks.

"Great!" Alice squeals. "I think we found a really nice house up the road. 3 bedrooms, 2 baths. Not quite as grand as this place but…."

"Believe me, having this much space to yourself isn't all it's cracked up to be," I say, sipping my coffee.

Alice gives me a concerned look.

_Great. Now her too._

"Hey Emmett, my truck is making a weird noise, will you come check it out?" Jackson says.

Emmett looks at him confused. "Dude, weren't you like…a mechanic at one point?"

"Dude, will you just come outside," Jackson says, sighing.

The light bulb in Emmett's head must have flicked on because he bolts upright, practically running out of the room. Alice remains seated, obviously the one who conjured up this plan.

_Is everyone my fucking babysitter?_

After a few minutes, I look over at Alice, opening my mouth, but close it again when Alice smiles.

"She's fine Edward."

I lean back into the couch. I don't know if I like that answer.

"She's fine?" I repeat.

"Well, as fine as she can be in this type of situation."

"Does she know you're here?" I ask.

"No, I didn't have the heart to tell her. Guess I'll have to come up with some excuse when I go back. Doubt she'll even notice I'm gone though. She's kinda a zombie at the moment."

Just as Alice says that, I know she regrets it.

"I know how that feels," I say, giving a small laugh.

We remain quiet for a few minutes, until she speaks again.

"So, anything new with you?"

I smile.

"Just ask."

She sighs. "Have you been getting help?"

I shift in my seat.

"Only been to one meeting, got another one scheduled for next week."

"That's great Edward. I'm so glad you are seeking help."

I laugh. "Like it's my choice. Jackson has been riding my ass like nobody's business."

She laughs.

"Something I love about him," she smiles.

"You love that he's a pushy son of a bitch?" I laugh.

"No. I love that he loves you enough to push you. And lord know you need to be."

"Ahh you too. And I was just starting to like you."

She puts her hands on her hips, giving me a pouty look.

After a couple minutes, Jackson and Emmett come strolling back in.

"Get that noise fixed?" I tease.

"Uhh yeah totally," Emmett says, puffing out his chest. "I can fix anything."

I roll my eyes.

"You ready to head out," Jackson says, tapping Alice's shoulder.

"Yeah…"

She walks over to me, giving me a hug.

"I hope I get to see you soon," she whispers into my ear.

"Please… tell her I'm trying." I struggle to form the words without my voice cracking like a pussy. "And… I miss her."."

She pulls back, shaking her head up and down slowly because she looks too emotional to talk.

After they leave, Emmett decides he needs to leave too.

"See ya man," he says as he walks out the front door. "See ya on the plane."

_Fuck. I almost forgot about New York._

Luckily, I don't have to leave for another few days. When the house falls quiet again, I get antsy. Running upstairs, I slide on a pair of jeans and my boots, keeping on the same black cotton t-shirt. I make my way to the barn, pulling out my best mare. Instead of taking the usual trail, I ride down my driveway, then off the property.

Riding is actually really good therapy. I feel the most calm when I am on a horse. Something about feeling their raw power. I kick her side, making her gallop. As we fly down the road, we come across my father's property. I slow her down, and just sit outside his gate. I fiddle with the idea of going down there.

_He's the only family I've got. Well…except for Victoria…and Charlotte._

But I immediately change my mind, knowing nothing good can come from that. But of course just riding by without him seeing me would be too easy.

_My life is never that easy._

Not a second later, I see his truck coming down the road.

_Fuck my life._

I can tell that he instantly notices me because he picks up his speed, then slows down when he reaches me.

"Edward…" he says in a monotone as he rolls his window down.

"Peter," I respond, knowing it will piss him off.

And it works.

He shakes him head.

"I am your fucking father you know."

I laugh.

"Could have fooled me."

We both remain silent and I'm thinking our conversation is done, until he opens his mouth again.

"I never got to congratulate you on your win," he states, yet again with no emotion on his face.

"Thanks."

"Well I better get back to work," he says. "Got a lot more to do when I'm down one person."

I look at him confused.

"Do you honestly think I'd keep Jacob around after that stunt he pulled."

I continue to stare at him.

He lets out a laugh…its almost evil like.

"Edward…I know what happened in Vegas. You think my son could get arrested and I not know about it? Also when Jacob showed up for work on Monday, it looked like you got your hands on him."

"He fucking deserved it this time," I spit out.

I can feel my skin burn, just wanting to get the hell out of here, but then the dream of my mother flashes before my eyes, making me relax a little.

"So you fired Jake?" I ask.

"The minute he stepped foot on my property," he says then hesitates for a few seconds. "I know I haven't always been there for you Edward, but I do know the difference between right and wrong."

I don't respond, but instead something urges me to reach out to him.

_Ok mom. You can stop pushing._

"Well, if you need any help, I'm always available…well except when I'm on out of town of course."

"Might have to take you up on that offer sometime," he answers.

I nod my head, my father returning one.

Just as I go to turn around, he speaks again.

"The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost," he says, his mood shifting. I can see the pain in his face. "Goodbye Edward."

He rolls up his window, and drives down the driveway, not allowing me to respond.

And at that moment, I fear that I have lost Bella forever.

_I need to see her._

0o0o0o

Sometimes having a lot of money has some great fucking perks.

The plane descends onto the runway, my heart and mind going a million miles an hour. I can't believe how different the circumstances of this "visit" are. It seems like a lifetime ago that I was here last. When I make it out of the terminal, I skip the rental cars, hailing down a taxi instead. When I get close to her apartment building….I realize how this is probably not a good idea.

_Am I considered a stalker? Probably._

_Too fucking late to turn around now._

As I pull myself from the cab, I hand over a wade of cash to the driver, overpaying as usual. I stand at the bottom of the stairs, looking up at the apartment door.

_Yup. It's official. I go to anger management classes and I can't talk to the women I love. I am a fucking pussy._

When I reach the top step, I am so out of breath it feels like I just climbed Mount fucking Everest. I reach up hovering my fist over the door, knowing that I have a 50/50 chance of Bella opening the door.

I breathe in deeply, then rap on the door loudly.

And wait. And wait.

When I don't hear anything stirring on the other side, I knock again.

And still nothing.

I shift on my feet, peering into the kitchen window.

_OK, NOW I look like a stalker._

As I look inside I notice that the apartment it dark, not a single light on.

_Shit._

I pull out my phone, dialing the house number.

And not much to my surprise there is no answer.

I stand there a few more seconds, before turning around and leaving. I can't give up though. Pulling my bag over my shoulder I head out of the complex. There are only so many places she can be. I pull out my phone, hovering the keys to call Alice, but remember that she is actually back in Nevada. I sure as hell don't want to call Rosalie, doubtful that she'll ever tell me where she is.

So I go to the only places I know Bella has been to.

0o0o0o

After the short walk to the school campus, I search every building high and low, now confirming my new profession as a professional stalker. When I have no luck there, I hail another cab and make my way downtown.

_Do you honestly think you are going to find her?_

But then I see it.

_The Ram._

Fuck. I didn't really want to go in, but maybe, just maybe she might be here. I walk into the front door; getting the same looks I did the first time around. And I'm not even wearing my hat this time. I scan the room, noticing a lot of brunettes, but instantly know they aren't Bella. I don't even have to see their faces to know. I would feel her if she was here.

But there is a face I do recognize. And it's sitting at a table full of douche bags. Guess he likes to hang out with his own fucking breed.

Our eyes instantly lock, and I see his body go tense, his chest almost puff out. I laugh to myself, then make my way to the table, his friends noticing our stare down. When I reach the table, I have to tell myself to calm down, my hands get twitchy.

_Keep it together._

I stand there for a few seconds, noticing his buddies chatting among themselves.

_More like shit talking._

I roll my eyes.

"Have you seen Bella?" I ask hastily, just wanting to get this over with.

"I don't know, isn't she your girlfriend? Can't keep tabs on her?"

I'm surprised Bella hasn't told him.

"Not anymore," I mutter.

"Interesting…" he says smiling. "Explains the agitation this morning. Then I can guess she wouldn't want me telling you where she is if she has no interest in you anymore. Can't say I'm surprised though. Bella was never into men with small dicks," he says laughing, his buddies joining in.

I clench my fist feeling the fire burning through my veins.

Realizing that he's not going to tell me, and that I need to get the fuck out of here, so I turn around heading back to the front door. That is until I hear Mike open his mouth again.

"But maybe Bella doesn't even like dicks, she just laid there like a dead fish when I got her in the sack. Fucking lousy lay," he says to his buddies, probably not realizing the fucking impeccable hearing that I have.

And just like that, I snap.

I whip around, making it back to their table in a few strides. Shoving my arm across the table, I grasp onto the collar of his shirt, pulling him out of his seat like a rag doll. I notice the looks on his buddies' faces, they almost make me laugh.

After I lift him in the air, I slam his body onto the table. My fist collides with his cheekbone, a bruise already appearing. But then my whole body freezes, my muscles locking up.

Unlike that blind rage in Vegas, I realize what I am doing.

_Everything Bella hates about me._

I instantly release his shirt from fingertips.

"Don't fucking ever talk about Bella like that again, and I'm pretty sure you're the one with the small dick according to Bella."

I now notice a couple of his buddies are out of their seats in a defensive position….but Mike waves them down. Without another word, I turn and leave the bar, hoping someone doesn't come after me. Not because I'm afraid they'll kick my ass, but because I don't know if I have the will power to stop myself again. When I make it a few blocks away, I slow down, catching my breath. And that's when I realize how badly I've fucked up. I can officially call my relationship with Bella over.

_She'll never forgive me now._

**BPOV**

I pull into the apartment complex, parking the truck in its usual spot. Grabbing Bree, I make my way up the stairs and into the apartment. The house is quiet and dark, except for the glow of the light from underneath the bathroom door.

Setting my bag on the ground, I walk over to bathroom door, rapping on it a couple times. A few seconds later Rose opens the door. As soon as it opens far enough Bree runs in, thoroughly pissing Rose off.

_Did I mention how much I love this damn dog?_

"Hey," I mutter as I walk into the bathroom, plopping my ass on the side of the tub.

"Hey," she responds, but continues to look at the mirror. "Everything ok at home?"

"Yeah…. It was good. Good to see my folks."

We fall silent again as I watch Rose put on her makeup. I look around the room, noticing that Alice isn't here.

_Maybe she's at school._

I get up from the tub, heading to my room. Bree is now curled up at the foot of the bed, looking peaceful.

_Why the fuck can't I be a dog?_

I kick off my shoes, and then change into a tank top and boxers, my favorite summer jammies. Being home was great, but there is nothing like sleeping in your own bed.

But after an hour of lying there, I realize I'm not going to fall asleep. My mind keeps going in a million different directions, feeling like something's wrong, my nerves on constant warning. I begin to get frustrated, so I whip the covers off, walking out to the living room. Flicking on the kitchen light, I pull out a pint of Cookie Dough ice cream. Instead of getting a bowl I flick the lid off, sticking a spoon in it.

_Perfect._

Grabbing my favorite blanket, I plop down on the couch, taking a bite of ice cream. Flicking on the TV, I channel surf for a few minutes until I see a familiar scene.

A man on a bull, his body being whipped back and forth like a rag doll. It's not Edward, but just the memory of him makes my chest tighten.

And just like I beckoned him, he appears on the screen. I can tell it's not recent, his face is a little younger, but his hard expression is the same as when I met him.

For some reason I smile instead of scowl.

I continue to stare, looking at every inch on him that they show. I replay every time that I touched him in my mind. Every kiss. Every graze.

_Fuck. I miss him._

A single tears falls to down my cheek, but I brush it away immediately.

Seconds later I hear keys jingle outside the apartment. I fumble around trying to find the remote. When I do I shut the TV off quickly, rubbing my face on the blanket. A light flashes on and I whip around to see Alice come through the door, suitcase in hand.

"Hey…" I say confused. "Where have you been?"

Alice enters the room, setting her luggage down on the floor gently, and then makes her way over to me.

_Something's not right._

She gives me a smile and I still sit there silently, waiting for her to speak.

"Where were you?" I ask again, scrunching up my brow.

"Nevada," she states.

My heart drops.

"Oh. Why were you in Nevada?"

She sits down close to me on the couch.

"I'm moving there…" she says quickly. "For the baby's sake."

_Now I really want to cry._

"And I didn't want to hurt you by telling you I was going there this weekend."

"Why?" I squeak out. "I'm happy for you Alice…and you should never be scared to tell my ANYTHING. We're practically sisters."

She shakes her head side to side. "No. We _are_ sisters."

She reaches over, giving me a big hug.

"I'm sorry to walk in and just dump this one you. But I've been worried about telling you all weekend and I just needed to get it out. I really hate keeping things from you."

"Then don't," I say.

She pulls back and we just stare at each other.

"Can I tell you something?" she asks.

I give her a sarcastic look.

"Did we not just talk about this?"

She smiles lightly.

"He wanted me to tell you he is trying. He really is trying Bella."

I don't even have to hear his name to feel the pain. Looking down at my hands, I really don't know what to say.

_That's great? Thanks for putting in the effort? Will it be enough?_

And just as if she read my mind, Alice speaks again.

"I can see the change already Bella."

I look up at her.

"Don't get me wrong, he looks like absolute shit, but better," she adds.

I laugh.

"Did you really just say the word shit?"

Alice starts to laugh too.

"Looks like you all are rubbing off on me…"

"Nah, it's probably the pregnancy, hormones and shit," I say. "So, when are you leaving?"

"Not till after graduation, closer to the birth. I think Jackson and I found a house that we liked. We're going to put an offer in this week possibly."

Jealousy radiates through my body. I try to control it, but I can't help it. I feel like everyone is getting their 'happily ever after'…except for me.

I whip off the blanket, realizing how tired I am now.

"I'm gonna go to bed…" I say as I get up.

When I get to my feet, Alice stands up as well, and it's now that I notice a small bump on her lower abdomen.

"Whoa," I say as I continue to stare.

Alice looks at me confused.

"You have…a bump."

She lets out a big sigh.

"I know, I'm fat."

I roll my eyes. "You are not FAT, you're pregnant."

A smile lights up on her face.

"Did you forget?" I tease.

She smacks me on the arm.

"Don't be such a bitch Bella," she says mockingly.

"I like you pregnant. You're feisty."

"I think I like it too," she says, her smile widening.

"Momma Alice," I say to myself, only above a whisper. "Well I better get to bed. School in the morning."

"Night Bella," Alice says giving me a hug. Just before I walk outta the room she calls after me. "Bella?"

I turn back to face her.

"You're gonna get your happily ever after someday too. I just…know it."

_Jesus I swear she can really read minds._

"I hope you're right…" I smile sadly and walk quietly to my room.

Oo00o0

_I fucking hate school._

Why can't I find a career that requires absolutely no education?

_That's it…I'm becoming a stripper._

I pull open the door to the room, getting here kinda early since I bolted out last Friday. I set my bag down at my desk, then make my way over to my professor's podium. He pulls his face from the book he is reading.

"Can I help you Miss Swan?"

I swallow hard.

_Why must professors be so intimidating? Is a fucking requirement?_

"I was wondering if there was anything I need to make up."

He shuffles some papers around on his desk.

"Just read chapter 46 from your text. And I handed back your pop quiz from last week," he says, handing it to me, his face flat.

I take it from him, looking at the score.

_88._

Whatever. It's passing. When I feel like our conversation is done, I turn around to make my way back to my desk when I see Mike across the room; he isn't in the usual spot in front of me. His head is facing down on top of his folded arms with his hood on.

_Good. Stay away from me._

Just as I pass him, he lifts his head and I notice the large black circle he has over his right eye.

_Looks like someone got what they deserved._

Just as I pass him, I can't seem to hold the words back.

"That black hoodie goes great with your eye."

He looks at me not amused.

"You're supposed to go _up _the stairs, not fall down them."

He continues to stare.

_Swan 2. Newton 0._

When I realize he isn't going to respond, but instead just sit there looking pathetic, I take a step back toward my side of the room, until he opens his mouth again.

"Tell your boy toy if he comes around me again, he won't get off that easily."

I stop in my tracks, then whip around so that I am facing him again.

"Excuse me?"

I continue to stare at him, waiting for a fucking answer.

"Edward came to the bar on Friday looking for you."

_What the fuck?_

"And he did this?" I say, pointing to his eye.

"Yup…"

A fire burns through me. I don't know whether to scream or cry. My heart hurts where it has once again been shattered into jagged little pieces.

_He's working on it?_

_He's never going to change…_

* * *

**A/N: Ok ok don't kill me. Edward is trying...but the man isn't perfect.  
**

**Since I updated twice this week I dont know when I will update again...hopefully within a weeks time! **

**And just a little note: Everyone sit tight...I promise you the prologue is not far off!  
**


	24. Chapter 24 What Might Have Been

**A/N: Hello to my wonderful readers!**

**Just a quick note: I PROMISE you the prologue is closer than you think, I know a lot of people are getting antsy :)**

**Thank you to everyone still reading, reviewing, giving PL shoutouts...etc.!**

**HUGE kiss to my fuckawesome beta TwoPeas1pod**

* * *

**BPOV**

I don't even know how I made it through the rest of my class, but I think if I tried to leave again my professor would kick my ass. Or worse….kick me out of his class.

_Would that really be so bad…maybe I could move away….to a place where there are no boys. Maybe I could become a lesbian…_

I shake my head, clearing my brain of the obscene things I am thinking. I wrench the truck into my usual parking lot, slamming the door shut behind me. Stomping up the stairs I fly into the apartment, wanting….needing…to vent.

As I walk past the kitchen table something catches my eye. A small brown box, the shipping label addressed to me.

I stare at it, puzzled at what it could be. I walk into the kitchen, grabbing a knife from the butcher block. Running back over I slice the top open, digging into the packing popcorn, which flies everywhere.

_Who the fuck thought this shit was a good idea?_

I find a smaller box within, pulling it out. On the front is a small note taped to it.

_Your mother and I don't like the idea of you not having a cell phone, especially since you aren't near home. Apparently this is the some fancy shit phone…your mother's idea. _

_Try not to break this one._

_Mom and Dad_

I rip off the note, seeing the brand new iPhone 4 on the box. I think I squeal internally...momentarily forgetting my pissy demeanor. Opening it up slowly I pull out my new phone, powering it up.

It's definitely a relief to have a phone again.

Seconds later, Rose and Alice walk in the door with Bree on a leash.

"I took her for a walk, I hope you don't mind. Poor thing seemed to be going stir crazy," Alice says, unclipping her leash.

"Thank you so much," I say, leaning down to pet Bree. "You're such a good aunt."

"Well there is going to be a time where I need your help…Aunt Bella."

We both smile. I think I even see Rose crack a small one.

"You got the new iPhone?" Rose squeals, grabbing it out of my hand.

"Uhh yeah, my parents sent it to me."

"So lucky…"

I look at her confused. Is Rose jealous of…me?

"Whatever, I'll just get my parents to buy me one…" she boasts, handing it back to me.

_Materialistic bitch._

Honestly, I'd be fine with the old school phones. Maybe.

Rose walks past us, heading into her bedroom.

"So spill…" Alice says, sitting down at a chair at the kitchen table.

"I didn't even say anything…."

"You don't have to Bella. I can see it on your face…."

"Can you please tell me what the next winning lottery numbers will be…." I kid.

She laughs. "Like I've never heard that before."

I sigh deeply.

"Edward was in town this past weekend apparently."

Alice's eyes widen.

"Did you know he was going to be here?" I asked.

"I promise you Bella, I didn't know. I went to his house with Jackson on Friday…he must have left right after. But I have a feeling him coming here isn't the only thing you are mad at."

I look her in the eyes, my expression one of defeat.

"He went to The Ram…and Mike was there."

Her eyes widen even more.

"NO…." she says, obviously knowing what coming.

"Huge black eye."

She shakes her head back and forth.

"What are you going to do?" she says quietly.

I look down at my new phone.

"Call him."

"Good luck with that," she says completely serious. "Just remember, there are two sides to every story."

_Pfft. _

I walk away from the table, entering my room, making sure to lock it behind me. Staring down at my phone, I can feel my heart rate increasing….feeling my pulse down in my toes. It's been a while since I heard his voice, and I fear what it will do to me.

I punch in his number, my finger hovering over the call button.

_Just do it._

With each ring my stomach does flops.

"Hello," his smooth voice answers.

I immediately sit on my bed, my knees becoming weak. Opening my mouth I try to find the words, but fail miserably.

"Bella…" he calls out again.

"How did you know it was me?" I ask confused.

"I'm pretty sure you're the only one from this area code that would be calling me, but I can't say I am surprised. Actually been waiting for it," he says, sounding defeated.

"You don't even want to try…" is all I could get out.

"Believe me Bella, I'm trying," he responds, his voice cracking. "But I'm sorry I'm not the perfect person you want me to be."

"That's bullshit Edward. And not fair."

We remain silent for a few seconds.

"I just can't believe after everything… you had to do this….I wanted to believe that you were getting help…getting better. But how can I believe anything now?"

"But the things he was saying…that fucking asshole deserved it," he spits.

I sigh.

"Why did you have to go _there? _How could you not know that he would be there? Were you looking for a fight Edward?"

"No, I was looking for you."

"And why was that? You just decide to show up to what…talk to me? Force me to come back to you?"

"I would never force you to do anything Bella…you know that."

I can feel my lip start to quiver.

_Hold it together for Christ sakes._

"I'm just so tired Edward…" I breathe out. "I'm tired of this…."

He stays silent.

"And I don't think I can do this much longer. As long as we are together, I don't know if you can really get the help you need. You need to be doing this for you Edward, because you want to, not because I am forcing you."

I can feel my eyes becoming blurry.

"And I seem to only complicate things."

"That's bullshit…and you know it. You are the best thing that has happened in my life Bella. Before you my life was shit. I was so lonely. You taught me to let go, to live the life I was given. I know I haven't done all the right things always, but with you I thought I was given a second chance, but I guess my shitty life prevails again. And you may be giving up, but I will never give up on you Bella. If you want me to fight for us than I will. And that is a promise I will keep."

I can't respond.

"I don't know what I want Edward," I say in defeat.

"Do you love me?" he demands.

I remain silent. My palms become sweaty. I honestly don't know what I feel.

And not a minute later, I hear a dial tone. Pulling the phone from my ear I see Call Ended on the screen.

"Goodbye Edward," I whisper softly to myself.

Setting the phone down on my nightstand, I climb into my bed, still fully clothed.

This is a place I never want to leave.

**October**

Calls from Edward: 3 times a day…times I have talked to him: 0

Emails from Edward: 4 a day….times I have replied: 0

Presents from Edward: 2

**November**

Calls from Edward: 4 times a day

Emails from Edward: 3 times a day

Presents from Edward: 5

**December**

Finally, the day I have been waiting for is here. Graduation. I honestly don't know how I made it through the rest of the semester. When I'm not at school, I barely leave the house. As much as I refuse to talk to Edward, he remain persistent, but I can tell he is wavering. I fear that speaking to him will only make matters worse, the severed ties on my heart string will only re break again. I get a lot of information from Alice, hoping that one day she will stop talking about him altogether. But I know that won't happen. Jackson is his family, and his family and Alice's family are about to come together.

"Baby? You ready?" I hear my mother call out to me.

I stand in front of the mirror, gaping at the hideous mustard yellow gown I am wearing.

"Yeah, just a minute!" I call down to her.

I pull my hair into a messy ponytail, not really caring what it looks like. Sliding on my dumb ass hat I make my way out of the bathroom. In our living room stand Renee, Charlie, Eric and Rose and Alice's parents.

"Now get together," Renee says, pushing Rose, Alice and I together.

We all line up, each of us sporting our hideous gowns.

"Now say cheese," she says, holding the camera up to her eye.

"Mom, it's a digital camera, you can take a picture without looking through the hole."

She pulls the camera from her face, looking at it confused.

"Oh nevermind," I breath out, rolling my eyes.

She puts the camera up to her face again, but doesn't take a picture.

"I'm not going to take a picture until you smile young lady."

_I just want to go back to bed._

I pull my lips apart, giving my mother the fakest smile I can muster up. Seconds later the camera flashes brightly.

_Great, now I get to see fucking spots. Could this day get any better?_

I pull myself away from the group, walking into the kitchen. Turning around to make sure no one sees me, I reach up, grabbing the bottle of Kettle One from the cupboard.

_Just what the doctor ordered._

I spin to top off, pushing it back to my lips, letting the slow burn travel down my throat. I then feel a tap on my shoulder, and the bottle slips from my fingertips, it bouncing on the countertop. I grab it quickly, only a little spilling onto my gown.

_Fuck._

"Well you won't have to pretend like you are an alcoholic now, because you'll smell like one," Eric says smiling.

"Bite me bro," I retort.

He takes the bottle from my hand, him taking a quick shot as well.

"Don't let dad see you," I smile.

"Eh, he's not that bad."

I widen my eyes.

"Oh yeah that's right, dads not a hard ass when it comes to his only son, just his only daughter."

"Yup. You got the shit end of that deal my friend."

We both start laughing.

_God it feels great to laugh._

I screw the cap back on and put it away, just in time for the rest of them to walk by the kitchen.

"What are you two doing in there?" Charlie asks, knowing something is up.

_Damn detective training._

"Bella just needs a few pointers on how to walk up to the podium without tripping," Eric laughs.

I punch him in the gut as hard as I can. He grips it, pretending like it hurt.

"Damn, when did you become so violent?"

"Since forever," I smile.

"Now you both know, violence is never the answer," Renee explains.

_Thank you captain obvious._

"Can we just go?" I whine, grabbing my purse from the counter.

We all filter out of the apartment. But just as we make it down the stairs, we are greeted with a familiar face.

"Howdy y'all," Jackson says, a large smile on his face.

Alice pushes past us, flying into his arms.

_Kick to the stomach #1_

When they finish hugging and shit, he walks over to her parents, shaking hands, including Rose's. Rose isn't a hugger.

When he gets to me, he gives me one of his southern smiles, and then wraps his arms around me tight, picking me up off the ground.

"That's from you know who," he whispers. "Sorry."

When he sets me back down, he pulls away, as if I am going to hit him.

_Will hearing about him ever get any easier?_

Our group disperses, Rose and her parents in one car, my parents and Eric in another. Alice, Jackson, and I heading towards mine. Unfortunately three people don't fit in Alice's Porsche, so my truck was chosen by default.

Just as we get to the cab, Jackson holds his hand out to me.

"Keys ma'am," he states.

"Why?" I whine.

"Because Bella, you reek like alcohol…."

"I do not!" I say lifting the front of my gown to my nose.

_Ok. Maybe I do. Guess it was more than a little that spilled on my gown._

I place my keys in his hand, him giving me one of those smiles in return.

_Is it bad to think your best friends baby daddy is hot? Yes, Yes it is. _

I slide into the passenger seat, Alice in the middle. The ride to the college is long, Jackson driving incredibly slow.

"Hey old man, if you don't hurry up, I'm going to have to put my feet through the floor and Flinestone our asses there."

He smiles, Alice giving me the death look.

"Sorry," I mouth to her.

She rolls her eyes then giggles. "Did Rosalie give you her bitchy pills this morning Bella?"

I'm not even going to justify her with an answer.

We finally make it to the school, the place an absolute mad house.

"Can't they just send me my diploma? It's not like I haven't come here every day for 4 fucking years."

They both laugh, Jackson helping Alice from the truck. She is really starting to show, the pregnancy apparent on her tiny frame.

When I get out to the truck, I scan the parking lot, seeing the rest of our gang already at the curb. Alice leaves Jackson's side, and comes over, grabbing my hand.

"Time heals all wounds," she says only above a whisper.

"I know," I sigh. "But how long?"

"I don't know," she admits, squeezing my hand.

I can feel my hands shaking, my body not physically tired, but emotionally. I had looked forward to this day for so long. It was supposed to be a new start for me, not an ending. A new start with Edward. Now everything these days just felt like an ending.

"So how fat do I look in the gown," Alice says smiling, clearly trying to lighten the mood and pull me out of my funk.

"Pfft," I say. "You could never look fat Alice, you don't have the bone structure for that."

She and Jackson laugh, and I join shortly after.

"Are you ready?" Charlie says as he walks up to us.

Alice and I nod.

We all walk into the auditorium, the place packed to the hilt. Alice, Rose and I make our way to our seats, unfortunately Hale and Swan are not close in the alphabet. I slide into my seat, noticing Mike is a few rows in front of me. Thankfully, after the black eye day, he refused to talk to me again. I guess I have Edward to thank for that. How that boy is graduating is beyond me.

Around ten minutes later I see our dean approach the podium, and then proceed to give the longest fucking speech ever. After her, a few more people drone on talking about random shit. New new frontiers. Making your mark on the world… .Blah.I can feel my eyelid drooping. But somehow I muddle through without falling asleep and drooling on myself. After eternity come and goes it's finally time for my row to stand.

As I wait to go up on the stage, I scan the audience, spotting my family.

I smile and wave, putting on a show while my mother obsessively takes a looking through the viewfinder.

_Not to self: Get camera away from mom._

I then see the person in front of me walk forward, and I turn my attention back to the stage. A few seconds later I hear them call my name and I nervously walk across the platform.

_Don't trip. Don't trip._

Making my way across the stage, I grab my diploma, shaking hands of various people I have never seen before. When I reach other side, I look up at my family again, smiling, realizing that despite the dark cloud I've felt hanging over this celebration, I am truly happy I accomplished something in my life.

The graduation lasts about another 30 minutes. When we finish I make my way over to my family, but notice that there is another boy standing with them.

"Hey…" I say as I walk up to them.

"Congratulations honey!" my mother says, wrapping her arms around me. "Can't believe you did it."

"Uhh thanks," I say.

My mother pulls back from me, my father smiling.

"Glad my money didn't did not go to waste," he says mocking me.

"Harhar…" I smile.

I turn to look at Eric and he instantly places me in a head lock. I squirm hard and repeatedly punch him in the stomach until he lets go of me.

I stand up, straightening my gown and making sure my hair isn't too fucked up.

"My little sister…a college graduate," he says smiling.

"You know she's the only one in the family to do it," my dad adds.

"That's because she's an over achiever," Eric says laughing.

"Bite me," I retort.

We all fall silent, and I shift my eyes to the boy standing beside Eric.

"Oh," Eric starts, realizing the guy is still with us. "Bella, this is Anthony, a friend of mine from Vancouver. His brother graduated too."

I hold my hand out, and he takes it gently.

"Nice to meet you Bella," his voice purrs, a smile on his face.

I can feel my cheeks burn, as I now notice how attractive he is.

"You too," I squeak out.

I spot Alice and Rose's family walking up, Jackson giving me a concerned look. I stare back, almost challenging him.

"Hey congrats to our other daughters," Charlie says, giving Rose and Alice each a hug.

We all take turns hugging each other, my brother introducing Anthony to them. My parents start talking to the Hale's, us kids going off on our own.

"So what's the plan for tonight?" Rose asks us all.

"Uhh I don't know if I really feel like going out," I mutter.

"Bella…its graduation night. We have been working for this for four fucking years….you are not spending the entire night alone like you have been for the past six months."

I instantly give her a bitch face, knowing clearly well she did that on purpose.

"I'm sorry, but it's true. You deserve to have fun."

"Come on, we can have a lot of fun," Anthony says, only facing me.

I feel Alice elbow me, and I try not to hit her back...or smile.

O0o0o0o

"Do I really have to go?" I whine as Alice puts my makeup on for me.

"I'm not going to force you, but I really think it will do you some good," she says. "Plus, I really think that Anthony guy has a thing for you."

My heart races.

"I can't," I start to say. "Especially since Jackson is here. He's run off and tell…"

I swallow hard.

_Shit. I still can't even say his fucking name._

"Jesus Bella, I'm not telling you to run off and get married with him, just talk to him."

I start to feel nauseous.

_Is it already time to move on? _

We finish getting ready, and I go to leave the bathroom. I am in some whoreish dress that Rose insisted I wear, my feet already hurting from the stilettos. But then Alice grabs me by the hand, stopping me. I turn back to face her.

"You have to take it off," she says quietly.

I instantly know what she is talking about. Reaching up, I run my fingers along the diamonds, knowing each placement.

"Do you want me to do it?"

I hesitate, and then nod. She walks around me, feeling her small hands touch the back of my neck. When she gets it unclasped, I feel it fall, the weight of it gone. It almost feels like it is still there, but I reach up, feeling my bare chest.

"Are you ok?"

I nod my head up and down, but I can tell Alice knows the real answer. She lets it fall into my palm and I clench onto it tight.

"Come on, let's just go have some drinks…"

I look at her confused.

"Ok ok…have a _drink _for me." She smiles and subconsciously places a hand on her tiny baby bump.

We both leave the bathroom, our eyes falling up Jackson sitting on the couch, his feet on the coffee table. He seems to have cleaned up a bit, his usually scruffy face now clean shaven.

"Y'all ready?" he says yawning.

"You sure you can handle going out old fart?" I laugh. "Maybe we should stay in and watch a movie."

He narrows his eyes at me, and then laughs. He stands up, walking over and gives Alice a kiss.

"Ready pretty ladies?" he says.

Rose comes out of her room, clearly already having some alcohol in her system. She runs up to me, giving me a tight hug, her perfume overpowering.

"Jesus, did you take a fucking bathe in it?" I say pulling back from her.

She rolls her eyes, and then makes her way to the front door. Everyone else follows.

"Uhhh," I start to say, everyone turning around to look at me.

I walk towards my room, the necklace still clutched in my hand. When I get there, I slide open the door of my closet, pulling out a large cardboard box. I open it up, the smell of him floating around me. Sticking my hand inside it, I drop the necklace, and then slam the top quickly.

I can feel my breathing has become erratic.

_It's over._

**EPOV**

I don't know how much more I can give. She wanted me to fight, and that's what I have been doing for the past 3 months. But I feel like I am fighting against Fort Knox. I've probably won some fucking award for how god damn desperate I must be, but there was no way I wasn't going to put forth the effort.

I've been calling her every day, sending her things, letting her know how much I wanted to fix things, but when there was never any response, the dagger near my heart moving closer and closer.

I must be fucking nuts, because when I learned that Jackson was heading to Seattle for the girl's graduation something told me I had to be there for it. I could never tell Jackson that I was heading there…or anyone for that fact.

_I've really gone off the deep end. Guess that's what a man in love does._

Due to my anger management classes I was unable to make it to the actual graduation, but I was hoping that maybe…just maybe…she would talk to me. Nothing like the element of surprise. Luckily I called Jackson, fishing for some ideas on where they would be tonight. He had no clue on what I was up to, thankfully because you usually can't get shit passed him.

_He must be slipping. Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones…_

I have the taxi drop me off in the downtown area, praying like a motherfucker they didn't end up at The Ram. As much as I feel that the classes have been working, I have a short fuse with that fucker.

Yeah, Edward Masen is about to graduate as well. I've been going to classes for 4 months, and I won't lie, I actually look forward to them now. Dr. Weber says that I have shown great improvement, but I still refuse to talk about _her _there. We mostly concentrate on my family and how they have influenced my demeanor.

When I left home I chose a casual look, opting out of wearing my boots and hat. Instead I slide on my black beanie, hoping no one will notice me. I really don't want to create any more attention than I usually do. When I get to the pub that I think is the one Jackson described, I slide into a small booth in the corner, waiting for them.

Moments later, a moderately attractive waitress comes by.

"Are you waiting for someone else?" she says, ushering toward the empty seats beside me.

"Nope. Just me," I say in a monotone voice.

"Bummer," she says smiling. "Well then, what can I get you?"

_I want a big fucking alcoholic beverage. _

"Uhh just a Coke please," I respond, having not touched alcohol since my last trip here. Dr. Weber said that the consumption of it just makes matters worse.

"Ok," she says smiling but looking a little confused, then turns around and walks away, clearly shaking her ass as she goes.

_When did women become so….trashy?_

I scan the room, but I don't see them anywhere. A few minutes later the waitress comes back, and she slowly slides my drink towards me, flashing her cleavage in the process.

_Not bad._

I take a sip of my drink, it not quite quenching the thirst that I have. But there was no way I was touching alcohol if Bella was going to be around.

As I sit there, it's seems like a day passes. I go over what I am going to say over and over again in my head, hoping it will be enough to make her understand that I want nothing in the world more than for her to be mine again.

Three cokes later I have the intense craving for a fucking smoke. Dr. Weber may have taken away my ability to drink, but quitting nicotine wasn't gonna happen any time soon. I throw twenty down on the table and make my way to the back patio.

**BPOV**

When I catch up with the rest of them,I notice Eric and Anthony have joined us. I make it down the steps without falling and give everyone a half hearted smile. My eyes lock with Anthony's and my heart jumps a beat.I instantly feel guilty.

_Why do I feel like I'm cheating?_

"Uhh Bella?"I hear Eric say, snapping me out of my inner monologue. "You are not going out like that," he says pointing to my dress.

I roll my eyes. My brother has always been…over protective.

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing…"I ask, knowing any response out of his mouth will be uncomfortable.

He just looks at me, then starts walking away. I can't help but laugh.

The six of us start making our way to the pub, my feet already killing when I get there.

_Who was the devil man who created these awful contraptions?_

We all walk inside, and I'm surprised how packed the place is. There is a haze in the air and people from wall to wall. We slide into both in the back corner, Anthony slides in next to me. I can't tell if I want him to back the fuck off or if I am enjoying his company. Alice and Jackson slide into the right of me, Alice giving me an amused look. Eric pulls up a chair to sit at the end of the table.

Rose goes off with some other boys that she seems to know, no doubt the reason we are at this specific place. We all sit around the table, while Anthony and I remain silent.

_This is so fucking awkward._

I pull out my phone, hoping to find something that will distract me. Moments later,I hear Anthony clear his throat. I look up at him.

_God he's attractive._

"Can I get you something to drink?" he asks me.

"Uhhh….I don't know. Surprise me."

He scoots out of the booth and heads off to the bar. I turn my attention back to Alice, who has been obviously watching us.

"He seems nice," she says.

I start to blush, not really wanting to talk about Anthony in front of Jackson.

_Too fucking awkward._

A few minutes later Anthony comes back with enough beers for the table and a water for Alice.

_Well…he's generous and thoughtful. _

He slides one over to Jackson who is clearly not happy with what he is witnessing. I give Alice a concerned look, her silently telling me it will be ok. I take a large swig from my beer, hoping the alcohol will calm me.

Things fall silent again and I don't understand how things are so awkward. When I first met Edward were things were this…weird.

_No he was just a complete asshole to you._

0o0o0o

Sometime between my third and fourth beer I decided need some air and start to slide out from the booth.

"Want some company?" Anthony asks.

I turn to him, shyly nodding my head. He gets up from the table and makes his way to the back of the bar, I follow behind him. He opens the door out to the back patio, but doesn't wait to hold it open for me.

I narrow my eyes at him.

The patio is just as packed as the pub, but the fresh air makes it a hundred times better. We find a small space in the middle, Anthony and I have to stand so close I can feel the heat coming off his body.

"Do you smoke?" he asks.

"No…it's a bad habit."

"Oh," he says smiling as he pulls out a pack from his jeans pocket, putting on to his lips.

I instantly look down at my hands, hoping he won't see me blushing. I shift on my feet, realizing how much my feet hurt. I haven't worn heels since…California.

"Fuck…" I curse under my breath.

Anthony must have noticed because when I get the nerve to look up again he has a concerned look on his face.

"Everything all right?"

"My feet are fucking killing me," I saw, leaning down and rubbing my calf.

"Then take them off," he laughs. "I don't know why you women wear those things anyway."

I am shocked to hear this coming from a man.

"But take them off…here? Isn't that like…not right?"

"Well if anyone gives you shit about it let me know, I'll handle them," he laughs.

_Oh great, another knight and shining armor._

"Uhh thanks, but I can handle myself," I give him a small smile.

"I'm sure you can," he says, his smile matching mine.

I reach down, sliding off my heels, instantly feeling the relief.

He finishes his smoke, throwing the still burning butt into his beer bottle.

"I'm gonna go grab another one," he says, holding it up. "You want anything?"

"Nah, I'm good thanks."

"Ok, I'll be right back."

"Ok."

I shift on my feet, looking around at the other people on the balcony.

_What are you doing Bella? One bad relationship wasn't enough for you?_

I pull out my phone again, now noticing that I have a missed call from Alice. Putting the phone up to my ear I listen to it.

Hey, Jackson and I are heading back to the apartment. Baby isn't enjoying the loud music and smoke… I couldn't find where you ran off to tell you. Just be aware of your surroundings.

I pull the phone from my ear, confused about that last sentence. Sometimes she can be such a weirdo. Anthony returns shortly after, my brother in tow.

"What the hell are you doing out here without your fucking shoes on?" Eric looks down confused.

"My feet hurt," I say defensively.

I then seen Anthony step in front of me, his arms sprawled out.

"What are you doing?" I laugh.

"I promised to protect you," Anthony says in his best superhero voice.

Eric looks at us confused, and Anthony and I just start busting up laughing.

"Shit you two might be perfect for each other. You're both weird as hell."

"I'll take that as a compliment," he smiles, dropping his hand.

He then throws his arm over my shoulder.

"Keep it up and you might be coming to our wedding," he says.

I look up at him shocked, Eric clearly noticing.

"You're fucking nuts if you think I'd let you marry my little sister. Any man that dates her is not good enough in my book…including YOU."

"Man, tough break," Anthony says down to me.

"Tell me about it," I say rolling my eyes.

I look back towards the patio door, my eyes catching something. A familiar auburn gold.

My heart begins to race.

_You're seeing things Bella. _

But I can't shake it, something pulling me.

"Uhhh I'll be right back…." I say, slipping out from under Anthony's arm.

I push through all the people, making my way back into the pub. Scanning the room I see the bright locks again, and they are heading towards the front door. I push through the people harder, the figure gaining speed.

My heart is racing, my breathing becoming heavy. As I push open the front door I fly out into the street, scanning the crowd.

But the figure is nowhere to be found.

**EPOV**

When I make it out back to the balcony I walk over to the ledge, using is as a means of support. Pulling out a cigarette from my pack, I light it up, the nicotine burning my throat, but it doesn't quite have the same effect as alcohol.

As I lean my elbow against the railing, I replay what I am going to say to her over and over in my head. I don't know if she'll ever forgive me, or even listen to what I have to say for that fact, but I have to tell her.

The fresh air feels good, and I think it's doing a great job of keeping me fucking calm. Staring out at the couples walking by, I realize how much I took my relationship with Bella for granted.

Then out of nowhere, a large chills travels down my spine, something tells me to turn around. And as I do so..I see her.

She is alone, and looks more beautiful than I remembered. Her hair is down, soft curls flowing over her back. From what I can see she is wearing an extremely tight dress, the fabric clinging to her like another skin.

I can feel my cock pushing against my pants, wanting and needing to be touched.

Inhaling sharply, pulling off my beanie. I go to take a step toward her, until I see two males approach her. Seeing Bella's face instantly light up as they reach her makes my heart drop. Remaining in my spot I watch them, seemingly having a friendly conversation.

But moments later, the familiar burn returns. It's not as strong as it use to be, but the burn is still definitely there.

The taller one throws his arm over her shoulder, Bella's smile growing.

I drop my shoulders, almost as if all the life had been sucked out of me.

She's moved on. She already has a new boyfriend for Christ sakes.

After a few more seconds of staring, I pull myself from my corner, heading back into the bar.

_I shouldn't have come._

As I push my way to through the pub I walk faster and faster, just needing to get out of there. When I reach the front door I immediately veer off into a nearby alley, my stomach not able to hold on any longer.

Leaning my forearm against to cool brick wall, I vomit.

**BPOV**

I slowly pull open my eyes, happy that I somehow made it back into my bedroom. After the "Edward" ghost, I think we switched from beer to hard liquor, but what I was drinking I'm not quite sure.

Shuffling around on my bed, I notice that Bree isn't laying beside me. Propping myself up on my elbows I scan the room. I know the Bree sometimes jumps off onto the floor at night so I lean over, but my heart jumps at what I see.

On the floor is not Bree, but not just Anthony, but a shirtless Anthony.

_Oh no. What is he doing in here?_

I pull up the covers, a little relieved that I am wearing my pajamas.

_But how did I get into them?_

Reaching over to my nightstand, I unplug my phone from its charger. I slide underneath the covers and text Alice.

**Anthony is in my room. I have no idea how he got here, or what happened. **

I sit there, anxiously waiting her response. I then hear the loud chime.

_Shit._

I peak my head out from under the covers, hearing a rustling noise. My eyes meet his.

"Uhhh morning," I say, testing the situation.

"Mornin," he says stretching.

A smile envelops on his face. I swear I have to stop myself from crying.

"Did we?" I ask nervously.

"Oh god no!" he shouts. "Your damn brother was out there sawing fucking logs last night and I couldn't take it anymore."

He stops.

"I hope you don't mind. I tried to wake you to ask you if it was alright, but you sleep as deep as your brother."

I blush.

"Well, I hope I don't snore as loud as him."

"No snoring. But you do talk in your sleep a lot."

I look at him shocked.

"No one has ever told me that before. Hope I didn't say anything too embarrassing."

"Nope. You were a perfect lady, except you kept talking about a guy named Edward a lot."

* * *

**Did you really think I was going to have Bella sleep with Anthony? tisk tisk.**

**Next chapter is already written, just needs to be beta'd! Will have it up ASAP!**


	25. Chapter 25 I Miss You

**A/N: So I guess I'll apologize right now for the ending of this chapter! :)**

**A huge thank you to my beta for doing the last chapter and this chapter back to back. **

**For those of you getting antsy and/or mad at Bella...thats exactly how I wanted you to feel, a year is not short, and cutting it into only two chapters was extremely difficult for me. But because most of you dont want wait anymore, I sped it up!**

**This chapter skips over 6 months.**

**Hope you all enjoy this chapter! **

**Xoxo.**

* * *

**FEBRUARY**

**EPOV**

"So do you feel that you have accomplished what you came here to do?" Dr. Weber asks.

I take a deep breath.

"Yes ma'am."

Today is my last meeting, both of us agree that I have changed for the better. I no longer feel the pain that is usually associated with my family…or Bella for that fact. After I left Seattle, I knew that would be the last time that I ever saw her. And that was two months back.

I've spent a lot of my time refocusing on riding, practicing every chance I get. Riding was always a way to clear my head, a way of coping for me after my mother's death. It is now a coping mechanism for the memory of Bella. It was aeye opener for me to see her with another guy. I'm not going to lie and say that I didn't want to smash my fist into his face, but I couldn't do that to her. I couldn't take her happiness away from her…again.

After the graduation fiasco, I stopped calling. I stopped sending things. Not that she answered me anyway. If she had moved on, then it was time for me to as well.

"Well Edward, I don't think there is anything else I can do for you. But if you feel that you ever want to talk again, my door is always open."

I rise out of my chair, taking her hand.

"Thank you so much Dr. Weber."

"You're very welcome Edward."

I make my way towards the door, slipping out of her office. When I make is outside it's raining. Pulling on my Carhartt Jacket I run out to my truck, slamming the door shut behind me.

As I sit in the cab, I take a deep breath, both happy and sad that the meetings are over. My time with Dr. Weber was a lot more worthy of my time than I originally thought. I start up the truck, realizing how late it is. I have to leave town in 4 hours, meeting a plane that will take me New York. Luckily, because of my meeting, I get to take a plane there alone and not with the other riders. I just need some fucking silence.

Pulling out of the parking lot, I make my way back to the house, but when I drive by my father's I decide to pull into his property. Making my way down to the barn I spot him far off in the field. Exiting my truck I start to make my way towards him. As I get closer, I notice that he is fixing a broken fence.

"Need help with that?" I call out startling him.

"Damnit boy, didn't I ever teach you not to sneak up on an old man?"

I swear I see him smile.

_Eyes must be playing tricks on me._

I walk over to the other side of him. I hold the post in place while he wraps the wires around the studs. My feet begin to sink in the mud, the rain not helping.

After about another twenty minutes the fence is fixed and both of us soaked from head to toe.

"Well I better get going," I say. "Gotta head out to New York in a few hours."

Peter remains silent.

"I guess I'll see you around."

I go to turn around to head back to my truck, but then hesitate.

"Hey dad," I start.

"Yeah.."

"I'm sure I can get you a seat on the plane if you're interested in coming with me."

He stands there for a few seconds, the waiting killing me.

"I don't think I can son. Got a business to run and all."

I nod my head, then turn around and jump in my truck.

**BPOV**

Life is so boring without school. When you're in school you are counting down the days until you get out, but now that I am, it's not all it's cracked up to be.

I went back to working at the tour guide, but that only takes up 3 days a week. Things have been incredibly boring since Alice left us in January. Their house in Nevada is beautiful, but that's not shocking considering how incredible Alice is when it comes to shit like that.

I haven't been there to visit them. I like to say that it's due to lack of funds, but I know that's a lie.

Walking out to the kitchen, I pull my open the fridge, pulling out some orange juice. Then heading to the cupboard, I pull out the bread, putting two pieces in the toaster.

"Morning," I hear Rose say, appearing at the breakfast counter.

"Hey," I say, grabbing a glass, filling a cup for her.

"Thanks," she says, taking a sip.

"Toast?"I ask, holding up the bag.

"That would be great."

Once mine pops up I butter it, putting it on a plate and slide it to her.

"You're too good to me Bella."

I smile.

"Yeah, I am."

When my toast finishes I slide onto the stool next to her, both of us eating in silence, until Rose says something.

"I'm so tired of this…"

I stop eating.

"We have other things than toast in the cupboard.."

She laughs.

"No, the toast is great Bella. I'm talking about this life."

"I'm still confused."

She turns in her chair to face me.

"I'm tired of going out every night, having men oogle at me, buy me things…"

"Oh yes, I feel so sorry for you…."

She exhales.

"Are they all that they are cracked up to be?" she asks.

I am now starting the catch on.

_Rose wants to know about…relationships?_

I take a deep breath.

"I think I'm hardly the person to answer that…"

"But you looked happy Bella, I mean when things were good."

"I was. I was very happy. But life isn't a fairy tale I guess," I answer, taking a large gulp of OJ.

"Do you miss him?" she asks.

_Fuck._

"Yes. Every day," I answer, shoving an entire piece of toast in my mouth.

"Then why didn't you talk to him? Take his calls?"

_How do I answer that?_

"It's complicated Rose."

"But is it really?"

I narrow my eyes at her.

"He stopped calling. He stopped sending things."

"What did you expect him to do?"

"I don't know," I say just above a whisper.

"You can't expect a man to wait around forever. He's only human. By the way whatever happened to Anthony, didn't you guys go on a couple dates?"

I shrug.

"Just wasn't my type. Plus dating my brother's friend was kinda weird."

"No one is good enough for you are they," she says.

I start to get aggravated.

"Then it's all my fault! Is that what you want to hear?I fucked it up, I left him. I refused to give him another chance," I shout.

Rose has a concerned look on her face.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to accuse you. I'm just trying to understand."

The threat of tears is getting stronger and stronger. I slide of my chair, tossing my dishes in the sink.

"There isn't anything I can do about it now," I say as I walk away from the kitchen.

"Well maybe you can talk things out at the baby shower," Rose calls out.

_Fuck._

**Friday**

I spent the rest of the week trying to occupy my time, the baby shower on my mind the entire time. Rose left to head to Nevada on Wednesday, but I had to stay back and work today. I could have gotten the day off, but to be honest…I'm scared shitless.

Alice said he probably won't be there, considering he'll be on the East Coast at a ride. But something about just being back in that state makes my stomach do flip flops.

I pull the truck into my parking spot, pulling my tired ass body from the cab. Making my way up to the apartment, I flick on the light, it's eerily quiet. A few seconds later Bree runs up, her tail wagging fast as soon as she sees her mommy.

"Are you ready to see Nevada?" I ask her, her tail still wagging.

She barks loudly.

"I'll take that as a yes," I say, putting my purse on the kitchen counter.

It's definitely going to be interesting flying a dog. Something about her being under the plane scared the shit out of me.

Walking into my bedroom, I pull out my suitcase from the closet, but instead of throwing random things in, I pick out each outfit carefully. If I was going to see him, I wanted to make sure I looked put together.

When I start to pull the dress I wanted to wear to the shower off the hanger, it slips off and falls out of my hand, falling to the back of the closet in never never land where mismatched shoes and odd sox like to hide.

_For fuck sake._

I climb into my closet, rooting around to find it. But my hands fall on something else. I pull it forward, and I can't do anything but stare at it. Delicately bringing my fingers to the top, I pull off the lid, exposing what's inside. Peeking in, I can feel my hands start to shake. It amazes me that even after all this time has passed, he can still make my heart rate spike.

I start to pull things out one by one. The Chanel dress, the rose ring, my Tiffany's necklace. What surprises me, the items don't upset me. They are actually somewhat comforting to me. But it's when I get to the smaller intimate things, that's when the strings of my heart become shredded again.

The toothbrush he let me use.

A paper menu I had taken from In And Out.

One of his wife beaters that somehow ended up in my luggage in Vegas.

And the worst…a picture I took of him when he was sitting in the chutes, getting ready to ride. The look on his face…so soft yet so focused, his jaw tight. But I can see the passion in his eyes. That boy was put on this planet to ride bulls.

After a few more minutes of perusing, I gather up all the things, gently putting them back in the box. Standing back up, I finally find the dress, pulling it out and sliding the box back in its place.

When I am finally finished packing, I grab Bree, putting on her leash. We walk downstairs together, the cab that I had arranged to be here is waiting for us. I didn't want to pay for parking or leave my truck there, and with no one to take me to the airport I settled for a cab.

When things are situated we pull out from the complex, my stomach already in knots.

0o0o0o

"Excuse me ma'am," I hear a female voice say over my earphones.

I open my eyes, seeing the stewardess infront of me. I pull them out of my ears, waiting for her to speak again.

"Were about 5 minutes away from descent, I need to ask you to put your tray table in the upright position."

I smile back and do as I'm told.

Peering out the window, I see the lights of Reno underneath us. I almost can't believe that I am really back here. But then I think of baby Lily.

Yeah, Jackson and Alice are going to have girl. Absolute perfection. That will be one spoiled little diva.

The plane starts to descend, my stomach going with it.

_Hold it together Bella. _

After the plane reaches the tarmac, I head straight to the pickup area, waiting and wanting to see Bree. Moments later, I see an attendant wheel her up in her crate, and I can see her wagging her tail through the slits.

When I get things situated with her and pay the outrageous amount of money they charged me to fly her, I head out to the pickup area…and wait.

**EPOV**

"Where the hell are you two running off to?" Sam asks, looking at both Emmett and I.

"Man we gotta go, we have to make it back for a fucking baby shower," Emmett says. "Hoping there will be a lot of single women there," he adds, nudging me.

I remain silent, and continue to unwrap the tape from my hands. When I get that off I slide off my vest, the weight lifted off my shoulder. Shoving my shit into the bag, I throw it over my shoulder, wanting to get out of the arena as fast as possible.

Walking out the back door the freezing New York air takes my breath away, my balls shrinking up inside me.

_Fuck this weather. _

I throw my bag into the trunk of the cab that was waiting for us, and I slide in behind the driver….and wait.

After what seems like a fucking eternity, I see Emmett bounce out of the back door, a unknown female underneath his arm.

"Emmett if you don't get your ass in this cab I'm fucking leaving you here!" I scream from the still open passenger door.

He gives me a "fuck you" look, then continues to talk to the woman.

_Ha. Women? More like fucking child._

I throw my body out of the car, strutting up to them.

"Hey darling," I say, getting her attention.

She immediately responds to my voice.

"You don't want to be fooling with this one, he's got the bad case of the crabs," I say, trying to hold back laughter.

The look of her face is priceless as she slides out from under his grasp. I make my way back to the cab, knowing Emmett is probably pissed as hell, but I just want to go home, we're stretching it enough as it is.

_Who the hell has a fucking brunch as their baby shower?_

A few seconds later, I see Emmett catapult his luggage into the trunk, then he slides in next to me.

"That is so not fucking cool dude," he says shaking his head. "I had her eating out of the palm of my hand."

I look over at him.

"You really want to spend the rest of your life chasing tail?"

"What's so wrong with that?" he snaps.

"Oh I don't know. Don't you want to love someone? Have someone there for you when things get tough? Someone to talk to? To wake up next to every morning?"

He just sits there and stares at me.

"I knew it," he states.

"Knew what?"

"Those damn classes got you all soft. Do you even have a pair of balls left?"

"Fuck you," I spit. "I'm still the same fucking person, just less…pissy."

"Well I liked the old Masen," he says, crossing his arms like a two year old.

"How could anyone like who I was, I think I was starting to even get sick of myself."

"I thought you were kinda fun. But I guess I can handle the new you."

I smirk, thankful for a having a friend like Emmett.

"But I swear to god if you bother Bella this weekend I will chop your balls off."

_Bella._

**BPOV**

After what seems like forever, I see Jackson's truck pull up in the loading zone. Alice pulls herself from the cab and I swear that her stomach has doubled in size.

"Holy shit, you're huge!" I call out wrapping my arms around her.

"Well aren't you so sweet," she mutters.

I pull back from her.

"Ahh shit, you know I didn't mean it like that," I say comforting her.

_Can you be more of an ass Bella?_

"It's ok. It's just these damn crazy hormones. I swear I can cry at the drop of a hat."

I smile at her.

"Are you excited?" I ask.

"Yes!" she squeals. "A day all about me? How is that not something to be excited about?"

_Touché._

"Hey," Jackson says coming up to me, giving me a hug.

"Hey," I respond.

"You ready to head out?" he asks, looking at us both.

"Yup," I respond.

Jackson takes Bree in her crate, strapping it into the bed. He then slides into the driver's seat, pulling away from the curb.

"Is she going to ok back there, she's not going to fall out or anything?" I ask, turning around in my seat.

I hear Jackson laugh.

"She'll be fine Bella, I promise."

I turn back in my chair, my uneasiness growing with every mile. And that's when we pull onto the street. I swear that my heart is going to pop out of my chest.

When we reach his driveway, I slyly look out of the corner of my eye, seeing his house.

Not a single light is on.

I then feel Alice's hand slide into mine, and I look over at her, her facial expression apologetic. When we finally pass the property, I breathe a sigh of relief.

To be honest,I am still amazed how much he can have an effect on me.

After a few more turns we reach the driveway of a small house, a soft light glowing from the inside. When Jackson parks, I pull myself from the truck, helpingBree out of the crate. She roams around the front yard, and instantly pees on the lawn.

"Sorry," I say to Jackson, him laughing in return.

"Bella, this house has been fucking baby proofed to the hill. Your dog peeing on the lawn is the least of my worries."

I laugh.

"That's so Alice. Baby isn't going to be here for another 8 weeks, but she's gotta have anything ready."

"They call that the nesting period.."

I look at him shocked.

"You actually read the baby books?"

"Of course I did," he says seemingly confused by my reaction.

"I thought men didn't do that."

"No Bella, douchebags don't read them, real men do."

"Well Alice is lucky to have found you," I admit.

"The first night I laid eyes on her, I knew that she would be a part of my life. I could never let her go, pregnant or not."

A wave a jealousy washes over me.

"Well two people couldn't have been more perfect for each other."

"Thank you Bella. I'm so glad that you came. Alice and I really appreciate it, especially under the circumstances."

"The circumstances?"I ask confused.

"Alice didn't tell you?"

My heart races.

"Oh god…Edward is coming, he and Emmett are going to leave right after their ride. They should make it here in time for the shower."

_For all that is holy._

I turn back around, Alice clearly having heard our conversation. She mouths me an "I'm sorry."

My blood begins to boil. I knew there was a chance that he was going to be there, but hearing the confirmation through Jackson's lips makes it really hit home.

I turn around, gathering my suitcase, following Alice through the front door. Looking around, I immediately fall in love with their house. It's so homey, the pictures she sent me didn't do it justice.

"I love it," I breathe out.

"Thanks. I was kinda obsessed with it, poor Jackson had to comfort me a lot. Being pregnant really sucks sometimes."

"Yeah, but it will be worth it. Just think how amazing Lily will be," I smile.

A second later,I see a single tear fall down her cheek.

"I am just so happy," she says as I wipe it from her cheek. "I have everything I have ever wanted."

"Well you deserve it," I say.

"So do you," she says, squeezing my hand. "And I'm sorry that I didn't tell you the truth…"

"It's alright," I breathe out. "Not even he can keep me from baby Lily."

I place my hand on her stomach, feeling the baby kick.

"Holy shit!"I think she just kicked me.

Alice laughs, holding onto her belly.

"Serves her right, no one disrupts my little niece," I hear a voice say from behind me.

I turn around to see Rose towering over me.

"Hey," I say giving her a hug. "How have thing been here?"

"God, I'm about to rip every fucking baby proof item out of this house. It took me 10 minutes just how to take a fucking piss."

I laugh.

"I don't know how you do it," Rose says turning to Jackson.

"Pissing off an pregnant woman is not at the top of my list," he says to us winking.

Moments later Bree comes in, her mannerisms more calm then normal. She walks up to us, instantly heading for Alice. She bends down, petting Bree on the head.

"You have gotten so big," she says quietly to her.

Bree looks up at Alice, then nudges her nose at Alice's stomach softly.

"She knows," Alice says standing up. "They always said dogs have amazing intuation."

"Well if that's the case you need to move back home, cause there she bounces off the walls 24 fucking 7."

We all laugh, and I realize I'm truly enjoying being here.

0o0o0o

I shift in the bed, waking up to Rose next to me. Jackson and Alice only have one guest bedroom, Rose and I opting to share it, rather than one of us sleeping on the couch.

_Cause we all know who that person would be._

I slide out of the bed quietly, hoping to not wake her. Bree and I make our way downstairs, and I immediately spot Jackson and Alice in the kitchen.

Alice squeals, then runs up to me, hugging me tight.

"I love waking up and having my family here," she says excitedly.

I just laugh.

"You better take it easy or I swear we will be delivering a baby this morning."

She smacks me lightly on the shoulder.

"So when is everyone getting here?" I ask,

"Well it starts at 10, my parents should be getting to the airport in about a hour."

She turns to Jackson.

"Hey sweetie, are you leaving soon to pick them up?"

"Yes dear," he says, not looking up from his book.

"Well is there anything I can do to help?" I offer.

"Nope, I have everything sorted out."

I laugh. "Of course you do."

"Well is there a place I can take a shower. I'd rather not go to the party in my pajamas."

She laughs.

"Yeah, first door on your right. There are towels in the cupboard."

I turn around, making my way upstairs.

**EPOV**

When we finally reach the airport, and through security, I plop down in a seat at the terminal, my body fucking exhausted. Emmett sits down in the seat two away from me, sprawling his body across them, his feet hitting me on the arm.

"If you don't get your filthy fucking boots off my clean shirt I will cut them off."

He smiles, poking his toes into me harder.

_Fucking asshole._

"Dude, go get me some food," he whines.

"What am I your mother," I say, pushing his feet off my arm rest. "Got get yourself your own damn food."

"What happened to the new softer, gentler Edward…Such an asshole," he says quietly, a small smile enveloping his face.

I can't help but return one.

"Come on, let's go find a bar," he says, finally sitting upright.

"Uh, I don't think that's a good idea."

"Come on man, one drink. I swear."

I hesitate, but pick my ass up from the seat.

_How bad can one drink be?_

Emmett and I walk down the terminal, spotting a small bar, the only place open at this hour. We slide onto a bar stool.

"You get one drink, better make it good," Emmett says to me.

I don't even have to think about it.

"Jack."

Emmett holds up two fingers, telling the bartender our order.

"Better make them a double," he says.

I laugh, shaking my head.

"What?" he says to me. "I said you could have one drink, didn't say anything about it having to be a single."

The bartender pours it, sliding one to each of us. Emmett turns to me, holding his up in the air.

"Here's to the new man," he says, a cocky grin on his face.

"Just drink it and shut the fuck up," I say, watching him throw his back.

I hesitate, but then put the glass to my lips, the liquid traveling down my throat.

_Fuck. I've missed you._

I set the glass back on the table, the bartender ushering me for another one.

"No thank you," I say, holding my hand over the glass.

When we finish up there, Emmett and I head back to the gate, the place getting seemingly more busy. We sit back in the same seats we were in before. Leaning back,I pull my hat over my face, hoping maybe to get some shuteye before we board.

But Emmett being Emmett, that wasn't going to happen.

"So what are you going to say to her?" he asks.

I remain still, hoping he'll shut up eventually. But, I then feel my hat being flicked off my face.

"I mean, wont that be awkward?"

"I guess so," I say, trying to act like it's no big deal, when really the thought of it makes me want to vomit.

"I can't wait to see Bella Bee, I miss her ass," he says.

I turn to him.

"I meant that figuratively of course."

"Yeah well she might not be alone. Maybe she'll bring her new boyfriend."

Reaching down to grab my hat off the floor, I place it back on my face falling into a light sleep. What seems like only minutes later,I feel some poking me, instantly knowing its Emmett.

"What?" I grumble from under my hat.

"It's been delayed," I hear him say.

I wrench my hat off, almost confused by his words.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," I huff.

"Dude, look outside," he says pointing.

I turn my head, and from what I can see in the night, heavy snow is falling.

_Fuck._

"How long?"I ask.

"Uhhh indefinitely as of right now."

"Fuck," I breathe out, my disappointment becoming more apparent than I thought.

_Maybe its fate. Maybe I'm not supposed to see her. _

After another few exhausting hours at the terminal, the suns starts to come up, day now upon us. It's clear now were not getting out of here anytime soon.

**BPOV**

When I am done getting ready I make my way downstairs, the party clearly having already started. I instantly spot Rose and Alice's parents, their mother's ring so big it will blind anyone.

Alice spots me and rushes over to me.

"You look beautiful Bella," she says giving me a once over. "He's gonna regret it."

I give her a halfhearted smile. Alice notices my nerves, and leaves, heading for the kitchen. A moment later, she comes back with a two champagne glasses in her hand.

"Mimosa's" she says. "Well plain old virgin orange juice for me, Mimosa's for everyone else."

She stares down at the glasses.

"Shit, I forgot which one was mine."

I can't help but laugh.

"Are you sure you haven't been drinking?"

I take the one out of her left hand, taking a sip, the champagne is strong.

"Uh….this one is mine," I say, taking another sip.

I spend the next 30 minutes trying to occupy my time, trying to get my mind off of him. Between the mimosas and my nerves, I have met about twenty people, and can't remember any of their names, except for Jackson's parents. I remember Edward talking about them before. His parents are very old school and don't do a lot to hide how much money they have, unlike Jackson.

_Yeah and his moms tits are about as fake as Rose's nose. _

I walk back into the kitchen, picking at the fruit plate knowing if I don't get some food in my stomach I am going to be under the table very soon. Taking a piece I slide into the family room, immediately seeing Jackson on the phone.

"Oh sorry," I whisper, turning around to leave.

"No, it's ok," he responds. "You're not interrupting anything."

I remain planted while Jackson resumes his conversation.

"No." I hear him say into the phone.

"No," he repeats.

I stand there, wondering what the hell is going on.

"No you can't talk to Bella."

My heart begins to race, my now belly full of alcohol doing flops. He then immediately hangs up.

"Uhhh everything ok?" I ask.

"Oh yeah that was Emmett."

I think I involuntarily let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.

He gets up from the desk he was seated at, making his way back to the party.

"They'll be here shortly."

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

**EPOV**

Thank god for fucking time zones.

The wait for the plane was fucking excruciating. Luckily the storm lightened up just enough for them to ok departing flights.

The ride was bumpy as hell, as we hit a lot of fucking turbulence, but I slept through most of that shit. When we reached RNO, I was fucking happy to be home to say the least.

We both jumped into my truck, the clock reading 10:45.

_Well we already missed the beginning of it._

"Ah man, all the food it probably already gone," Emmett whines.

"Emmett...they know you are coming, I'm sure they have enough for your ass," I laugh.

"Well hurry the fuck up anyways," he says.

_Don't have to tell me twice._

I smash my foot down on the gas pedal, the Raptor instantly responding. As we get closer and closer, the more nervous I get, my stomach doing flip flops.

What seems like moments later, we pull onto the main street, passing my property.

_I really fucking wish I had time to go change._

Minutes later, we pull into the driveway of the house, my heart feeling like it's going to explode. Emmett pulls himself from the passenger seat, making his way across the hood before stopping.

"What the fuck man?" he says, noticing that I am still in the driver seat, with the truck still turned on.

Every image of her flashes across my mind, the montage always ending with that guy, his arm wrapped around her. Her smile.

"I can't," I say out the window.

Emmett just stares at me, almost dumbfounded.

"I thought you wanted to see her?"

"I can't cause her anymore pain?"

"And who says you will?"

"Me," I breathe out.

"Alright man," he says, waving me off.

I pull out the driveway, feeling like biggest pussy in the world.

**BPOV**

I seriously think I'm going to barf. Yup, barfing is definitely a possibility.

Removing myself from the group of people, I stand up, heading towards to back door, needing some fresh air. Huddled under the overhang the cool air starts to relax me a little.

I close my eyes, listening to the rain fall, the sound of it almost serene. But then I hear it, the familiar purr of an engine.

I don't even have to guess….he's here.

And then something washes over me…..not fear…

_Ok maybe a little bit of fear_

But that…scares me.

I remain planted in my stance, my back to the house. Downing the rest of my glass, I wait.

And wait.

And that's when I hear the door slide open slowly, my heart rate picking up. I turn around slowly, but am instantly lifted off the ground.

"Bella Bee," I hear Emmett say as he throws me over his shoulder.

We walk back in the house, Emmett setting me down. He takes a step back, looking at me.

"Damn girl," he says. "You are looking mighty fine."

I can instantly feel my cheeks start to burn.

"Edward is a fucking idiot. Wonder if he'd mind….."

I start to laugh, but my eyes start to unconsciously scanning the room. When they come up empty, I look back at Emmett. He's giving me a concerned look.

"He's not coming Bella."

My heart wrenches, a large lump in my throat forming. I am scared to admit to myself I think it's a feeling of utter disappointment.I have to escape. I need to be out of this room. .

"Excuse me," I choke out, brushing past everyone to make my way upstairs.

Slamming the door to the bathroom door, I plop down on the toilet, fighting the tears with every fiber in my being. Seconds later I hear a small rap on the door.

"Come in," I call out.

Alice and Rose come through the door, shutting it behind them.

"Are you ok?" Alice asks.

"I'm fine. Please go back downstairs, I don't want to ruin your shower."

"Please. You are more important than anyone else down there. Plus, I'm really tired of talking to everyone. They keep touching my fucking stomach."

Rose and I look over at Alice in shock.

"So where is he?" Rose asks.

"Not coming."

"What a pussy," she laughs.

"Yup," I say, not really wanting to say more.

But then it just comes pouring out.

"He couldn't even get out of the car?" I ask, to no one in particular.

"Did you _want_ to see him?" Alice asks.

I look up at both of them.

"Deep down, yes I did. I thought maybe, just maybe…."

Alice walks in front of me and takes my hands in hers.

"You still love him…"

I look up at her confused. "No…."

She side eyes me. I let out a huge sigh.

"Honestly, I think I will always love him Alice. Jesus, I don't even want to say that out loud. I've spent so many months building up my defenses. Trying to wall off this section of my heart so it can't get hurt any more. But just hearing his truck in the driveway…. And the whole wall just crumbles. He hasn't called in months. Clearly he thought we weren't worth fighting for. Clearly he's moved on. Maybe that's why he couldn't come inside. I question myself every day. We both made so many mistakes. But I think today just proves it's too late to fix them now."

"But life is too short to give up on something you really want…" We hear Rose pipe up.

Now Alice and I are shocked.

"Wait. Are you telling me I should be fighting for Edward? Because youwere such a great cheerleader for the relationships the whole time we were together. You use to give me tons of shit for dating Edward. "

Rose looks down at her feet.

"I did do that. And I'm sorry," she mumbles. "And I'm not saying I want to jump into a long term relationship at this moment, but the times you had with Edward seems like it was worth the heartbreak.."

Memories of happier times flash through my mind making me smile.

"Maybe you're right," I say, still smiling.

Rose and Alice look over at me, both of them smiling as well.

_Fuck, I can't hold on any longer. _

Tears start to fall from my face, but they aren't tears of sorrow, more like tears of joy. It wasn't until now that I realized how much my relationship with Edward has made me grow as a person. Before him, I never thought I would need someone as much as him. He opened me up, and let me love under the best and worst conditions. And I think as much as I want to not love him, as much as I've spent months trying to fight it, I don't think it's possible.

They always say you never stop loving your first love. Now I really know what they mean.I need to stop trying to block off all memories of Edward and focus on how the relationship changed me for the better. Instead of regretting the past, I need to make peace with it and move forward.

_I just have to figure out how the hell to do that… _

Alice rubs myshoulder. Rose handsme a Kleenex.

"Ready to go back downstairs?" Alice asks.

"Yes," I say laughing, wiping the tears with the tissue.

I stand up from the toilet, checking my makeup in the mirror. All three of us head back down the stairs, Jackson and Emmett waiting for us.

"Everything alright?" Jackson asks a concerned look on his face.

I smile. "Everything will be."

**MARCH**

..

**APRIL**

I wake up to the faint sound of buzzing. Reaching up, I pull my phone from the nightstand , slowly opening my eyes to see the screen.

"Alice," I mutter to myself.

But then it instantly hits….ALICE!

I fly up out of the bed, accepting the call.

"Hello?"I say.

"Bella!"I hear Alice say, her voice energetic. "She's arrived!"

"What? When?"

"About an hour ago."

"And…"

"She's perfect," she says, her voice gleaming. "6 pounds 2 oz, 19 inches"

I can't help but smile.

"Lily Anne," she adds.

My smile grows.

"That's so amazing Alice, I am so happy for you two. I promise I will out to see her as soon as my internship is over."

I had gotten an internship at the Museum of History and Industry in Seattle, and between that and working it's incredibly hard getting time off.

"No problem, I'm texting you a picture now. Plus I think we might be coming out next month anyways."

"Well I'm looking forward to it. Give my niece a kiss for me. And tell Jackson congratulations."

"Of course. Talk to later. Love you."

"Love you too," I answer. "Bye."

I hang up, this day already starting off spectacularly. Pulling myself from the bed, I walk over to my closet, pulling out my outfit for today.

I hear my phone chime again, knowing it must be the picture.

Opening up the attachment, I see before me is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. She clearly gained the best features from both her mother and her father.

_She's going to be a heartbreaker._

**MAY**

"Miss Swan, can I see you in my office please?" Irina asks.

Irina is a director of the museum, which in turn makes her my boss.

My heart sinks.

_Fuck. Am I going to get fired? Can you get fired from an unpaid internship?_

I remove myself from what I was doing and follow her, my heart going a million miles an hour.

When I reach the door she ushers me in, shutting the door behind us.

I sit down in one of the chairs across from her desk, and wait. She sits behind her desk and immediately starts shuffling though her papers.

my heart continues to echo in my ears, my stomach knotting.

"So Bella," she starts to say.

_Here we go._

"Would you say that you have a strong passion for history?"

I look at her confused.

_Did I not get a degree?_

"Let me rephrase that," she laughs. "Would you be interested in relocating, and experiencing something not to many people get to?"

I still look at her confused.

"We love having you here Bella, you are extremely talented and I can see how dedicated you are to your work," she continues on. "Every year we sponsor a study abroad program in Barcelona, and I wanted to bring it to your attention."

She slides the pamphlet over to me, and I take it delicately.

"It doesn't start for another two months, but I think you would be a great candidate."

"Thank you," I mutter as I continue to read through it. "It sounds amazing."

Irina then stands up from her chair. "You just have to let me know by the end of next month if you are interested or not."

I stand up as well. "I definitely will. Thank you again."

**JUNE **

I lightly knock on her office door, my palms feel sweaty.

I've changed my mind a million times, but I know I need to do this…for me.

"Come in," she responds.

I push open the door, Irina is sitting behind her desk.

"Morning," I say with a smile on her face. "I just wanted to let you know that I am very interested in Barcelona."

A smile comes across her face.

"That's great Bella. You are going to have an amazing time. I'll add you name to the list and by the end of today I'll have all your materials for the trip together."

"Awesome," I respond, making my way out of her office before stopping. "Thanks again Irina."

"It's my pleasure Bella."

**JULY**

I open my eyes, realizing that this is the last time I will be waking up in this house in quite a while. My trip to Barcelona will last around 3 months, and I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty excited to get out of here. I quit my job at the Underground Tour, my mom and dad helping me pay for the finances of the trip.

The sun shines in through the slates in my plantation shutters, telling me that the day is here.

I look over, Bree standing over the top of me. Every time I see her I still think of Edward, her eyes always telling me something. She shifts on her feet, a continuous whimper leaving her throat.

"Don't look at me like that Bree. I know you miss daddy, but he's not coming home anytime soon" I mutter.

I pull myself from the bed, sliding on the only outfit I have that's not packed. Walking out to the family room, I start a pot of coffee, knowing I'll need caffeine to get through today. I've never flown internationally, but I hear it's quite an experience.

When the coffee is done, I pour myself a cup, walking out onto the balcony, burning this image into the back of my mind. The weather is mild for July, wondering what it will be like Spain.

Just the idea of being there makes me giddy. Who knows…maybe I'll meet some rich prince and live happily ever after.

I laugh at the thought.

Making my way back inside, I see Rose come in through the front door.

"Hey," she says, pulling her earbuds from her ears. "You all ready to go?"

I shrug.

"I think so. I feel like I'm forgetting something…you're going to take Bree up to my parent's right?"

"Yes Bella…" she says in a childish tone. "I think I can handle that."

"I know, I'm sorry. I'm just nervous ya know?"

"It will be all ok. Just make sure you make out with a lot of hot guys for me while you're there," she laughs.

"Ha ha," I respond.

"So when is your cab going to be here?"

I look over at the clock.

"About 30 minutes," I breathe out.

My heart rate quickens.

The thirty minutes flies by like seconds and before I know it the cab is here. I drag my suitcase down the stairs, Rose being no help as usual. When I reach the bottom, I hear my phone ring from inside my purse.

"For fuck sake," I say, handing my suitcase to the cab driver.

Fishing through my purse, I can't seem to find it, the ringing eventually stops and I don't hear the voicemail chime.

_Must not have been important._

But a minute later it starts again.

Kneeling down on the floor, I dump my purse over onto the sidewalk, grabbing my phone. I look down at the screen._Jackson. _

And immediately in my gut I know something is wrong.

_Oh god! Alice or Lily?_

"Hello?"I say, answering it.

"Bella?"I hear him say in a concerned tone.

"Is everything ok? Are Alice and the baby ok?" I ask in a scared tone.

"They're fine," he answers tenatively.

I let out a sigh.

"But Edward's not."

I almost drop my phone, my knees becoming weak.

"What do you mean Jackson?" I ask, panic rising in my voice.

"He had an accident."

I sit down on the curb, the taxi driver growing impatient.

"What happened?"

"He was riding, and when he went to dismount, he got caught up, and the bull…crushed him…"

He stops.

"He's in a coma Bella. Things aren't looking good.. ."

My mind goes blank, my body is 's like the whole world just stopped.

"Bella?" I hear him say.

I shake myself to snap out of my comatose state.

"Where are you?" I ask.

"Vegas," he responds.

_ least favorite place on the planet._

"I'll be there as soon as possible."

* * *

**A/N: So...yeah...**

**Good news is I am almost done with the next chapter, and you wont have to wait months for an update like some authors! **


	26. Chapter 26 Life Aint Always Beautiful

**A/N: I'm so sorry for leaving you all hanging in last chapter, but I had to do it. **

**Thank you to everyone still reading and reviewing...**

**So here we go, this is the scene that where I got the inspiration for PL, you could that was my "Stephenie Meyer" moment. **

**Unfortunately, this chapter will put you on a roller coaster (I hope) but things will slow down...eventually. **

**Shoutout to my beta, you are an amazing women and friend!**

**As ever, I hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

"But the struggles makes me stronger  
And the changes make me wise  
And happiness has its own way of takin' its sweet time

No, life ain't always beautiful  
But I know I'll be fine  
Hey, life ain't always beautiful  
But its a beautiful ride  
What a beautiful ride**"**

Life Aint Always Beautiful - Gary Allan

* * *

**EPOV**

"You ready for this?" Emmett says as he hits me in the arm.

_No. _

"Do you think you'll win the title again?" he asks

_No._

"Are you going to say anything?"

_No._

I sit there, methodically taping my hands, trying to keep my mind occupied. I can't believe it's been a year since the last finals, a year since my life changed, and not for the better.

Vegas will always be a place that I hate, the place that I hurt the only person I truly loved. After the baby shower, I gave up on trying to fix things with Bella. I don't even know what I would say to her, no words can mend what I did to her.

For about 3 months straight I would wake up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat from my nightmares. Each would consist of Bella in various states of distress, me not able to save her. Not once. She would always be just out of reach, or someone else would come in and save her. Let's just say it pissed me the fuck off.

My meetings with Dr. Weber helped that, but Bella didn't come up a lot. I made sure of that. It probably wasn't exactly what Dr. Weber wanted but at her I drew the line. Bella was never the problem, it was me. Well,me and my fucked up family.

"Masen!"I hear someone yell.

I look up, seeing Paul standing in the doorway.

"You're up…" he responds.

Pulling my body from the chair, I stretch, my back already feeling stiff.

_Fuck. I'm getting too old for this._

As I walk down the hallway, my heart begins to beat fast, the adrenaline already starting to flow through my veins. As I get into the main arena, I hear the crowd yelling and shouting, making my heart beat even faster.

I get to the chutes, Emmett on my heels.

"You ready for this man?" he asks.

I swing my leg over the metal gate, sliding onto the bull that was chosen for me at random.

_Bushwacker._

He's never been ridden a full 8 seconds, his buck off rate at 100%.

_Just my fucking luck._

Emmett climbs up the gate, helping strap me in. When the rope is secured, he holds his hand out and I take it, shaking it.

"Good luck man," he smiles. "And try not to make it look too easy you asshole."

I crack a smile.

Turning to the man in charge of the gate, I hesitate but nod my head, letting him know I am as ready as I'll ever the chute flies open, time seems to slow, everything around me fades away. It's just Bushwhacker and me.

I've been doing this for years, but every ride is different, all them unpredictable. This one is no exception. But something is wrong, I can feel it.

I don't know how far into my ride I am, but I can feel my body slipping. As I fall off the bull, my hand becomes lodged in the tie up. Using all my might, I keep my body off the ground but my toes drag in the dirt, my bicep on fire. Shifting my head around I notice the helpers and rodeo clowns are trying to get the rope off, not having any luck.

"Fuck!" I call out, more pissed off than worried.

But then out of nowhere, an image of Bella appears in my vision, and I can't tell if she's real…or a figment of my imagination.

But then all I see…is darkness.

**BPOV**

I remain seated on the curb, my body not being able to move, my muscles frozen in place.

"Here's the rest of your…." I hear Rose say behind me.

She fly's to my side, clearly knowing something is wrong.

"Bella….are you ok?" she says, grabbing my face between her hands.

I open my mouth but my mind won't form the words.

My phone rings again, making me jump. Rose takes it out of my hand and answers it.

"Hello?" she says. "Jackson…what the hell is going on. Bella is sitting on the curb like someone just ran over her dog."

She then falls silent. I finally shift my eyes up to her, her facial expression masking mine.

Seconds later she hangs up, handing the phone back to me.

"Uhhh he's at Spring Valley," she says.

I just stare at her.

"Bella!" she screams. "What are you still doing here? GO!"

And just like that, my body springs to life. I fly off the curb, amazed that the cab is still here. Walking to the open door, I swing back around.

"Just go," Rose says, turning me back around. "Everything is situated here. I'll go pack my things and take care of Bree and be on the next plane, right behind you. Just GO!"

I slide into the seat, Rose shutting the door behind me. I gaze out at her through the car window, tears wanting to fall.

"It will be ok," she mouths.

When we reach the airport, everything pisses me off, my emotions on a fucking roller coaster. I even almost forget my bag in the cab, my mind on nothing but Edward.

"Miss…." I hear behind me.

I turn around, seeing the cab driver looking at me.

_Pay the driver Bella._

I pull out some cash, giving it to him, not really caring if it's too much. Picking my suitcase up off the ground, I make my way into the airport, the place is packed. Of course there is a long ass fucking line at the ticket counter.

When it finally becomes my turn, I run up to the counter, scaring the shit out of the desk attendant.

"May I help you?" the lady asks.

"I need a ticket to Vegas, as soon as possible. It's an emergency."

She starts typing in a million things to her computer, each click of hey keyboard irritating me. After what seems like forever, she finally looks up at me.

"A plane will be departing in three hours. We only have one seat left, and it's in first class."

_Fuck me. Three hours!_

"There's nothing that will get me there faster? I need to get there as fast as possible – it's a family emergency," I repeat myself hoping maybe the dire tone I'm using will somehow conjure up another 757 that can fly me there immediately… preferably landing right outside the hospital.

She looks at me annoyed. Guess she's not the fairy godmother after all. I'm sure she sees a 100 people a day begging her to conjure aircraft out of the sky.

"Well there's a flight into LA and then you could connect…" she taps her fingers a few more seconds. "Nope. That's not gonna get you in any faster. Three hours is the fastest you can get there honey. You want it or not?"

I reach into my wallet, pulling out my "in case of emergency" credit card my parents gave me. After things get settled at the ticket booth, I immediately head straight to the terminal, the minutes not going fast enough.

As I sit for a while, every scenario goes through my head, every moment of us together replaying like a movie in my mind. Pulling out my cell phone, I figure this is a good time to call my parents and tell them I won't be going to Barcelona.

I dial their number, the phone ringing over and over, until eventually the answering machine picks up.

"Uhhh hey Mom and Dad, something came up and I'm not going to make it to Barcelona. But I'm fine, and I promise to call you soon when I have more information."

I know that I totally just lied to my parents, but me telling them over the phone that I just wasted the thousand dollars they gave me for the trip _and _just charged a plane ticket to their account…didn't seem like the best of plans.

The three hours pass by unbearably slow, my nerves not fading away. Perk of first class though? Priority boarding.

When I get into my seat, I pull out my iPod, hoping my music will calm my anxiety. After about twenty minutes of that, I pull the buds out of my ears, throwing it back in my purse.

_For fuck sake._

I reach up, hitting my call button. A few seconds later, the stewardess comes over.

"Can I help you?" she asks.

"Uhh I need a drink," I mutter.

"I can't serve drinks until take off I'm afraid."

I look up at her, and it takes everything in my power to not rip her eyes out. After what seems like another fucking eternity, the plane finally departs, the distance between Edward and me shrinking.

When the seatbelt sign turns off, I realize I really want that fucking drink.

Another perk of first class? Free booze.

Somewhere between the forests of Washington and the fucking desert of Las Vegas I down two beers and a miniature ass bottle of vodka.

_Who in the hell thought there were the perfect size? A fucking midget colony?_

Nothing like going to see your ex-boyfriend, who is in a coma, drunk.

When the plane starts to descend, my heart rate is so high I fear I might pass out, the alcohol probably not helping in the scenario.

Once I get my baggage, I hail a cab.

"Spring Valley," I say to the driver, my ass flying backwards at she steps on it.

_At least someone knows I'm in a fucking hurry._

When we reach the hospital, I walk into the emergency room, not really knowing where else to go. I find a clerk behind the desk.

"Uhhh I'm looking for someone who was admitted here…" I squeak out.

"And you are…"

"Isabella…."

_What the fuck do I say?_

"Masen," I blurt out. "His wife."

She stares at me, probably knowing that I just lied through my teeth. She then looks down at her computer, her expression changing.

"I'm so sorry," she says looking up at me.

_What? Oh God! I'm too late!_

"He's in ICU, third floor, room 2."

_Relief washes over me. Shit Bella. Get it together here._

This isn't new information, I knew that's where he would be, but hearing the confirmation of his status in her voice made it all too real.

"Thank you," I choke out, picking up my suitcase and head for the elevator banks.

When I reach the third floor, the doors of the elevator open and I can't seem to make myself move. A young nurse notices me, and she starts to make her way towards me.

"Are you alright miss?" she asks.

All I can blurt out is "Edward" and for some reason I don't have to say anymore.

She gives me the same look at the receptionist downstairs, it really fucking up my already awful mood.

I follow behind her slowly, and I notice that my body is shaking slightly, my palms moist.

She stops at a door, a number "2" on the front of it.

"Everyone else went out, he's all alone."

_Fuck. I can't do this alone. I want my mommy. _

I stand there outside the door, my knuckles wrapped around the handle of my suitcase so tight I can almost feel them tear. The rapid movement around me becomes nonexistent, nothing but the faint beeping of machines fills my ears.

Reaching up, I place my hand on the door handle, the cold metal feeling good against my flushed skin. I push on it; feeling like it weighs a thousand pounds. When I get it fully open, I hesitate, stepping inside slowly. My eyes adjust to the darkness of the room, and all I can see is the glow from the lights on the machines.

_Machines. There are so many of them._

I swallow the large lump in my throat, putting my left leg forward, and then taking a step. Then two, then three. Before I know it, I'm at the foot off the bed. I can see a mass in the bed, but none of his features areclear to me.

All I can do it stand there, my body shaking harder now, and I become frozen again.

_Maybe it's not him. Maybe they sent me to the wrong Edward Masen._

"Are you alright?" I hear from behind me.

I shift my head around, seeing the same nurse from before.

She enters the room, walking over to the window, drawing the shades a little, daylight filling the room.

And that's when I see him. Edward.

A single tear falls down my cheek.

Staring down at him, I look over his face, counting the number of bruises and lacerations.

_Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen._

I then see a tissue being held out in front of me, the young nurse giving me the "it will be ok" look.

"Thanks," I mutter, taking it from her.

"Have you been updated on his progress?" she asks me.

I shake my head.

"He is currently in a coma due to swelling and bleeding of the brain. The doctors were able to get him stabilized, but he still has long road to recovery."

I swallow hard.

"When will he wake up?"

"We don't know. Every person is different. The body can only determine when it wants to wake up."

"Will he make it?" I whisper to myself.

She smiles at me.

"He seems strong."

For some reason, a smile cracks on my face.

"You have no idea."

"Well, I'll leave you…my name is Jane, please let me know if there is anything I can get for you."

She turns and leaves.

I shift my eyes around the room, I spot a small closet, putting my suitcase in it.

I walk back over to the bed, and continue to stare at him and then I can't hold it back any longer. A year's worth of emotions crashing down on me hard. I sob uncontrollably.

I want nothing more than to take it all back. All of it seem so unimportant now.

As I continue to cry, my body becomes weak, my legs threatening to fall, my knees buckling. But as soon as I fear that I actually might fall, someone catches me.

"Bella bee," the figure says, my mind knowing exactly who it is.

I grab onto Emmett hard, desperate to physically _hold_ onto something.

After a few seconds, I pull back, looking up at him. I am greeted with a smile, although it's not the typical Emmett smile… there is pain behind it.

"How…." I begin to say, but I can't seem to form the rest of the sentence.

He begins shaking his head.

"It all happened so fast…one second he was on top of the bull, the next he was under it."

My heart wrenches.

"It was awful," he added. "There was nothing I could do."

I hug him again, now realizing I'm not the only one going through this. Shifting my eyes upward, I notice we are not alone.

_Alice._

Emmett lets go of me, my body lurching forward into Alice's arms.

Tears fall even more now, my body convulsing.

"Shhh…." She coos, her grasp on me tight.

I pull back from her, fearing that I may break her if I continue.

"Why Alice?"I ask.

She smooths my hair, not giving me an answer.

I look around the room again.

"Where's Jackson?"

"He took Lily home, she was getting fussy."

_Lily. I almost forgot._

"Oh," I respond.

"But they will be back later, I promise you."

I smile, a moment of joy finding me.

"I can't wait to meet my niece."

She smiles lightly.

"I'm so sorry that it has to be under these circumstances."

I look back over at Edward, Emmett still standing beside him. Walking over to them, I place a hand on Emmett's shoulder, feeling the tense muscles in his back.

"I'm so glad that you are here Bella," Emmett mutters. "He would be really happy."

_Fuck. Don't cry._

I don't respond, but squeeze his shoulder instead. He then leaves the room, coming back moments later with two chairs. One for me and one for Alice.

"Thanks," I say as I slide into one.

Sitting there, I can do nothing but stare. At every piece of hair, at every mole that is visible. Eventually, even through all the stagnant medical smells, I pick up on his cologne. It triggers so many memories. Every moment together, good and bad. The urge to reverse time grows greater with each passing moment. I pull my knees into my chest, resting my head on the back of the chair.

I sit there for what seems like eternity, the lightness in the room my only gauge of time. My legs become numb, but I refuse to move.

Doctors and nurses come and go, most of them not saying much.

Emmett goes out to make some more calls to friends who he promised to keep updated. Alice goes to find more coffee and to call and check on Lily. I really think they just wanted to give me time alone.

I keep closing my eyes for minutes at a time, hoping that when I open them this will all just have been a horrible nightmare. But the constant beep of the machines keeps dragging me back to the desperate reality that will just not magically fade away.

I sit motionless, passing the seconds by watching his chest rise and fall, willing it to keep its steady rhythm.

Getting up from the chair, I stretch my body, realizing I've been sitting in the same position way too long. My arm leaves my side, it traveling upwards, my hand hovering over Edward's.

I've been afraid to touch him. Partly because of all the tubes and equipment attached to him. But also because I know as soon as my body touches his I am done for. I am certain feeling his skin against mine might make my heart it's a chance I have to take.

I slowly lower my hand, feeling the warmth coming off his skin. I am mere inches from touching it, when the door opens, startling me, making me instantly retract.

A nurse enters, but it's not Jane.

"Where's Jane?" I ask, for some reason not liking they've sent in a new person.

"Jane is the morning shift, I am the night shift nurse," she answers with a smile.

"Oh."

I remain standing at the bedside, watching her as she shifts around the room. She opens his chart, studying it. She then walks over to the other side of the bed from me, replacing some of his IV bags. When she lifts his arms a tiny bit, I see a dark black line on his inner bicep that catches my eye. As she lifts it higher, more of it appears. But before I can get a better look, she drops it again.

I shake my head, thinking this lack of sleep is screwing with me.

She must have noticed my expression because she stops working.

"You know they know what's going on around them right? Talking to him and personal contact is the best thing for him right now."

I bite my lip.

"What if I fuck something up, like make one of the machines stop or something?"

She giggles.

"That's highly unlikely. We're monitoring everything at the nurse's station. Trust me, if anything changes I'd be in here within seconds," she says, giving me a wink. "Talk to him. Tell him to fight. I've seen it work before. The doctors probably don't like to hear me say this, but love is usually the best medicine."

I give her a small smile. Reaching up again, I hover my hand just above him. I'm kinda glad they don't have me hooked up to a monitor cause my heart feels like it's beating right out of my chest.. I slowly place my hand atop his, feeling the familiar surge of energy I experience every time we touch.

"Edward." His name falls from my mouth reverently.

I then hear the machine make a loud chirp, retracting my hand instantly.

The nurse laughs.

"Well you must be someone special to him because his heart rate just quickened."

I look up at the machine, now noticing that the number is a few notches higher than before. I look down at him, his exterior unchanged.

_Wake up damnit. _

The nurse quietly slips out of the room, I remain standing…. wondering.

Looking around the room again, I shift to the other side of the bed. Taking his left arm gently in mine, I lift it up.

And I am completely floored at what I see.

Inside his bicep is a large tribal swan tattoo, the creature's wings spanned open, almost ready to take flight.

_Why would he permanently mark himself with a swan? _

_Oh my god…_

And suddenly it's all too much. Too much and love and pain and uncertainty. My body can't process it all at once.

Quickly laying his arm back down on the bed I run to the bathroom just in time to vomit. As I pick myself up off the floor, I hear the main door to the room open. Checking myself in the mirror quickly, I pull open the door, noticing Alice and Emmett have returned.

"Hey…" I say quietly, happy they are back. I am scared to ask, but I have to know the story behind the tattoo. How long has he had it? Why did he get it?

"Emmett..." I start to ask but am interrupted by the door opening once again.

"Excuse me," we all hear, looking at the door. "I'm sorry but visiting hours are over."

My heart drops. How can I leave him?

"No," I say to no one in particular. Shaking my head back and forth.

Emmett walks over to me.

"Come on Bella Bee, he wouldn't want you sitting here all night. Plus we need to get some food in you."

I give him a concerned look.

"But isn't that always what happens? The family goes out to get food, or to go to sleep and the person….."

_I can't even make myself say it._

"I promise he will be fine, he is under the best of watch," the nurse says.

_Can you? How can you promise something like that?_

Much to my objection, I find myself leaving his room. When we reach the lobby, I get a welcomed surprise.

In front of me are not only Rose, but my mother, my father, and Eric. And just like that, the water works starts again.

_For the love of Christ, how can I still produce tears?_

I walk immediately to my parents, both of them wrapping their arms around me.

"I am so happy that you are here," I mutter.

Pulling back from them, I go to give Eric a hug. My brother may be a jack ass most of the time, but we are always there for each other. When I finally get to Rose, she smiles.

"I thought you could use a little more of your family here."

"Thank you," I say, giving her a hug as well.

I look around me, introducing Emmett to my parents and my brother. For a moment, my anxiety lessens just a bit.

For once I don't feel alone, all the people that I love under one roof. Unfortunately, that roof belongs to a hospital.

"We were about to go get some food…" I say biting my lip. "Do you guys want to come?"

"I'm starving," Eric says.

We all make our way out the front doors, splitting up into two cabs. As we drive down the strip, the lights of the town bring back unwanted memories.

_How can a year go by so fast?_

We make it out of the downtown area, ending up at a small local diner away from the hustle and bustle of Vegas.

I pull myself from the cab, my mother instantly putting her arm around me.

"Are you ok my sweetie? You look a little pale."

"I've been better…" I admit.

She rubs my shoulder with her hand, giving me a small reassuring smile.

"Everything will be ok sweetie."

I sigh.

"How do you know?"

"Because life has a funny way of working out."

The seven of us slide into a large corner booth. When I get seated, I look up, Emmett already pestering the shit out of Rose.

I can't help but laugh.

I look over at her, a crooked smile on her face. The diner reminds me of the place Edward took me too, remembering the ridiculous fight we had.

I chuckle to myself, hiding my face behind the menu from everyone else. Scanning it, I really realize food sounds awful right now, my stomach lurches at the thought. Setting the menu down, I take a small sip of my water, the liquid feeling good on my dry throat.

O0o0o

There's quiet conversation as dinner passes by, , but I can't contribute much. My mind can't get off Edward, my body almost feeling like there is a strong rope pulling me back in the direction of the hospital.

When we all finish eating, the boys argue about who's going to pay, resulting in the women getting up and leaving the restaurant.

_Men and their egos._

Of course my father won, he's an excellent negotiator. That man can talk you into admitting something you weren't even part of.

As we stand in the parking lot, everyone falls silent…none of us knowing what to say next.

"Well, here ya go," Emmett says, handing my parents two room keys. "We got you a room at the Monte Carlo. That's where we're all staying."

"The Monte Carlo?"I blurt out. "But I thought you guys always stayed at the…"

"Yeah, Edward refused to go anywhere near the Bellagio."

_My heart palpitates. _

"Uhh thank you," Charlie says taking them from him.

"Thank you Emmett," I choke out, realizing how important everyone here is to me.

More than I can ever explain.

"Oh and Bella," Emmett adds. "Here is the key to Edward's room…."

I look down, another key in his hand, stretched out towards me.

"You don't have to stay there, we have a fold out couch in ours, but I thought I would offer."

My heart sinks, but I take the key from his hand, sliding it into my back pocket.

"Thank you."

Emmett hails us cabs, and before I know it, were in a luxurious hotel on the strip, a sense of déjà vu coming over me, only this time there is someone missing.

My parents get checked in, and they head off to their room after telling them good night.

My dad comes up to me, giving me a hug.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay with us? You can share a bed with Eric."

I laugh a little.

"Right, just what I want to do…"

My father laughs, kissing me atop the head.

"Well if you need anything, we'll only be floor beneath you, where the common folks sleep."

"Alright dad," I say, rolling my eyes.

Of course Edward's room is the penthouse, he may have switches hotels, but his taste for finer things clearly haven't changed.

When everyone else has gone to their respective rooms, Alice stops me.

"I'm worried. Should you be going there alone?"

I look at her confused.

"I'll be fine. I think I might enjoy the silence ya know?"

She nods her head, staring off into space.

"It will be ok," she says, then smiles and turns and leaves.

_Sometimes she can be so…freaky. _

When I make it to the room, I pull the key from my back pocket, sliding it into the handle, it clicks open immediately.

_At least I don't have to fight with this piece of shit. _

Sliding open the door, I am immediately hit with his scent, it nearly knocks me to the ground. I step inside, dropping my stuff in the foyer. This hotel room is as big as the one at the Bellagio, but it feels so….empty.

I make my way into the bedroom, seeing his things everywhere, they are all neatly organized of course. Opening the closet door, I stare at his clothes, all of them color coordinated.

These small things bring me joy, glad to know that Edward didn't change in every way. I reach up, pulling down a crisp white button down shirt. Immediately I undress, sliding the shirt over my head, bringing the collar up to my nose.

Walking into the bathroom, I run my fingers along the granite counter tops, grabbing his cologne bottle. I spray my shirt, the scent connecting me with the past.

I look at myself in the mirror, now noticing what my mother saw.

My skin is pale, the brown in my eyes dull. There are dark black circles under them, making me look almost like a corpse. I turn around, shutting off the light to the bathroom, walking over to the beside. I crawl into the left side, knowing Edward always sleeps on the left.

As I lay there, the day's events replay over and over in my head, the phone call, the beeping machines, the image of the tattoo flying through my mind. And as much as I fight my heavy eyelids, I can't hold on any longer.

O0o0o0

I open my eyes, temporarily forgetting where I am.

Shifting around in the bed, I look at my surroundings, remembering.

_Shit. It wasn't a nightmare?_

Glancing over at the clock, I let out a groan.

3:30am.

I pull the comforter off me, walking into the bathroom, I pull off all my clothes, suddenly desperate for a shower. I turn the water on, getting it as hot as possible. The water feels great against my skin, temporarily melting away the tenseness in my shoulder and the pounding in my head.

After I wash my hair and body, I jump out, grabbing a towel and then throwing on some clothes. I pace around the hotel room, stopping to gaze out the wall of glass windows with a panoramic view of the strip. The place is completely lit up, people still out on the streets.I go back to pacing, knowing there is only one place I really want to be.

Grabbing Edward's key from the nightstand, I make my way out of the room and as I walk down the hallway, I get the feeling someone is following me, but I know no one is there.

When I reach the outside, a hotel clerk approaches me.

"Can I get you something ma'am?" he asks.

"A cab. Thanks," I say.

I wait outside for a few minutes, a yellow checkered cab pulling up. Jumping inside, I tell the driver where I'm headed, my heart pounding again.

When I reach the hospital, I wonder how I am going to do this. It's way past visiting hours.

I pull on the hood of my sweatshirt, opting for the stairs instead of the elevator. When I reach the floor, I open the door slowly, happy to see the there's no one at the nurse's station, and Edward's room is extremely close to the stairs.

Slipping through the opening, I walk closely to the wall, hoping that I will just blend in.

_Right Bella. Who do you think you are? James fucking Bond?_

When I reach his room, I open the door quickly slipping inside. The room is dark again like before, the machines still beeping. Walking into the bathroom, I flick the light on, giving the room a soft glow. As I walk back into the room, I gasp loudly as I see a figure sitting in the corner. I put my hand over my mouth, hoping I didn't make enough noise to draw the attention of the staff.

But then I recognize the figure, my heart beating even more. I don't even know what to say.

"Bet you're surprised I'm here huh?" the figure asks.

"Uhh…how _did_ you get in here?" I ask.

"I _am_ his father," he laughs sarcastically."I would have been here sooner if someone didn't take the last seat of the next available flight."

I walk closer to Peter, now realizing his face is puffy…and red.

_Has he been crying?_

When I get next to him, he pats the chair next to him, his usual brashness not apparent at the moment. I sit next to him, and silently pray my heart doesn't give out. We both sit there and stare at Edward, the room falling silent again.

Until Peter speaks again.

"I owe you an apology….well both of you an apology."

I don't respond. If I start telling this man what I think of him…how many ways I think he's failed his son…it will not end up well.

"You know, ever since his mother's death, life has been…difficult," he says, a small laugh escaping him. "I know I haven't been the best of fathers to him and Victoria…or a fuck…a grandfather for that fact…and there is no excuse for it."

He stops, the words obviously fighting their way out.

"And I know there is nothing I can do to change that…"

I stop him.

"That's not true," I whisper.

He gives me a crooked smile.

"I know that I have no right to say anything, or that it's any of my personal business anymore, but Edward loves you. Even after you… ended things, as much as he tried to fight his love for you, it was always there. I could see it in his eyes."

Peter swallows. Clearly hesitating about what he's about to say.

"And I know I'm the last person who should be giving out advice, but it's never too late to mend things. Love is the most important thing to have in your life. Trust me. I haven't had a lot in my life in a long time."

He swallows falls silent.

"You know, I could give you the same advice."

"I appreciate you saying that," he says. "But I think my only chances to get back my son have been here and gone."

I shake my head.

"But what if your wrong? You just told me it's never too late."

Both of us fall silent.

_What if it is too late. What if he never wakes if both of us never get a chance to make things right._

I realize in that moment, Peter and I actually have something in common. We both are clinging to the same desperate need. We are both feeling we let Edward down. We left him feeling unloved at a time when he needed love the most.

"He's going to make it. He has too."I say, trying to will it to happen.

"I sure hope so," he whispers. "And for the record, I was incredibly wrong about you Bella. You being here proves me wrong. What you two had was strong…. Things are not too late for you two. Finding his mother was the best thing that has happened to me. Edward and Victoria…the second."

_Shit._

I don't respond, but remain silent. After a while, I start to notice the depth of Peter's exhaustion. I tap him lightly on the shoulder, making him jump.

"Sorry," I whisper.

I pull the key from my back pocket, holding it out to him.

"Why don't you go back to Edward's room? You could probably use some sleep. I'll call you if anything changes…"

He smiles, taking it from me.

"Thank you Bella…for everything."

He then stands up, pulling on his jacket and hat and exits the room.

Getting up from my chair, I walk over to the bedside, putting my hand on Edward's, the machine spiking again. It's now that I notice the ventilator is gone, meaning he is breathing on his own.

_Has to be a good sign._

"Do you know I'm here?" I whisper to him. "I need you to wake up. Please. Edward…"

I slide down into the chair and lay my head back so I could watch his chest rising and falling like I had earlier. Somehow seeing it move up and down settles my nerves.

At some point, I must have dozed off because something startles me awake. Not a person, but a feeling. When I open my eyes, they are met with another pair.

_Green._

My heart skips a beat.

_Am I dreaming this?_

I shake my head and blink my eyes to make sure.

"Edward..." I breathe out.

He lifts his hand off the bed, it shakes unsteadily. I stare down at it, and then slide my hand into his, his fingers wrapping around mine. Edward shuts his eyes again, but from beneath his lashes a tear runs down his cheek..

* * *

**Because I have updated 3 times in under a week, I feel I need to take a step back and make sure I am not speed writing through this... so update might be a little longer than normal, but as ever, as soon as its finished I will post!**

**Love you all! xoxo. **


	27. Chapter 27 I Swear

**A/N: Hello to everyone again...**

**Not much to say here...except that I hope you enjoy.**

**Thanks again to everyone still reading and reviewing!**

* * *

**EPOV**

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

I try everything in my might to move, my muscles continue to not respond, my eyes not opening, the darkness still here.

But then I hear it, a voice reaching my ears. It's not close, almost muffled sounding, but my ears would know that voice anywhere.

_I must be in heaven. _

A sensation comes over my body, a tingling sensation flowing from my head to my toes like electricity, a high that is incomparable to any drug.

_Open your eyes for fuck sake._

I put all my might into it, concentrating. Needing to see her.

I slowly start feeling my eyes pull open, but my eyelids feel like they weigh a ton. A small glow of a light reaches through my eyelashes and I fight more, my eyes now at what I think is fully opened.

And that's when I see her…an angel…_my_ angel.

I faintly see her mouth move, but I can't seem to make it out. All I can do is stare, ignoring the immense sting coming from my eyes now.

Concentrating on only my right arm, I lift it off the bed, needing to touch her, needing to feel her soft skin against mine.

She slides her delicate hand into mine, and the feeling is indescribable.

I try to say something, but the connection between my mind and my mouth is nonexistent.

And just like that, my body shuts off again, my eyes fluttering closed, the image of Bella gone.

**BPOV**

I shake his hand…realizing that he isn't responding.

"Edward…" I choke out.

I grasp his hand harder, tears starting to fall down my face.

Someone enters the room, and I now see Jane at my side.

"He was awake," I say, wiping my tears with my free hand, refusing to let go of Edward's.

"That's a good sign. His body is responding to the treatment, but maybe his mind isn't sure yet."

She checks some of the machines; writing things down in the chart.

"When will he wake up again?"

She gives me a concerned look.

"Well the initial response is what we were looking for, his body is probably just extremely worn-out, keep talking to him, tell him how much you want him here."

She gives me a smile, and I can't help but return one. She leaves the room, and I look down, not noticing that Edward's fingers are tight around mine.

I look at his face, trying to trick myself into seeing his eyes open.

Still holding onto his hand, I lean in close to him, the closest I have been to his face since the World Finals. I study his face, remembering, each curvature of his jaw, and the lines of his lips. The cuts and bruises make my stomach turn; not liking the fact that he went through that much pain.

Putting my mouth up to his ear, I realize that begging might be the only thing I can do right now.

"Edward…" I breathe into his ear.

I hear a beep of the machine, and look up.

"You have to come back," I choke out. "Please…" I beg. "Please come back to me."

I hear another beep.

"You can't give up on me…." I swallow. "You can't give up on us."

Another beep.

"Please Edward…" I say again, squeezing his hand a little. "I know you can hear me."

I bite my lip a little, wondering if I should continue on.

I take a deep breath, my confessions scaring myself. Everything pouring out with no hesitation.

I put my lips even closer to his ear.

"Edward, I love you."

And for the first time in a very long time, I feel relieved.

**EPOV**

No. This must be hell.

Who could be so cruel enough to allow me to see Bella, but then instantly lose her again?

_The fucking devil…that's who. _

All I see it darkness again, my head still in a constant fog. I hang onto every sound my fucked up head can pick up, hoping to hear it again.

The sweetest sound in the voice of an angel.

I can still feel the current in my right hand, hoping to god Bella is still holding on to me.

I slowly start to hear things, a constant beeping; slams of what I can only imagine are doors.

I hear it again, her voice, but I try to not keep my hopes up, my mind probably playing tricks on me.

But then I feel the electricity move to the side of my head, confusing me.

But instantly hear her, not the muffled voice from before, but as if I was awake, and she were standing mere inches from me. I can't make out every word, my brain trying extremely hard to process everything.

But just hearing her makes my heart jump with every word I _can_ process. I put all my might back into opening my eyes again, needing to see if she is really here, or another figment of my imagination.

Then suddenly I don't hear her anymore, and I start to panic.

_I need her. I need to believe that she is here._

But she starts again, my sense getting sharper as each second ticks by. And she says it. The sentence I needed to hear for such a long time now.

_Edward, I love you._

The fog in my head instantly clears, and my eyes fly open with little effort. I am the most aware I have been, feeling the fire in everything. My muscles, my bones and mostly my throat.

I can feel her hand still in mine, and I squeeze it, she immediately squeezes it back.

Shifting my head slowly, I see her again. The love I had thought I lost.

"Edward," I hear her say crystal clear.

Her face is red and puffy, and my heart aches, knowing I've caused her more tears.

I swallow hard, my throat scratchy and dry. Opening my lips, I form the words _I've_ been waiting to say.

"I never…stopped… loving you."

Tears start to fall down her face again, her face still so close to me I can smell her.

_Best fucking smell in the world. _

"I knew you would make it," she says just above a whisper.

I can't hold back my tears anymore, as much as I want to be strong for her. Through my tired eyes, I fight to stay awake, never wanting to take my eyes off her again.

Swallowing hard again, I shift in the bed, my muscles needing to move.

"Edward…don't move," I hear her say in a raised voice.

"Already…. telling me…what to do," I choke out, trying to make myself smile but my body still not responding to my mind.

"I'll be right back," she says as she goes to pull away from me.

Even though it hurts like fucking hell, I grasp onto her arm, probably not as hard as I would like, but enough to get her to stop. She looks down at our hands, a worried look on her face.

"Alone..." is all I can get out, but Bella seems to know what I mean, because she turns back around.

"Ok," she whispers.

We both stay frozen for a few minutes, both not saying anything. I can feel her thumb trace across my knuckles, the buzzing in my body at an all-time high.

I reach over, grabbing the corner of the covers, my heart now racing. Ican only lift it mere inches, a silent invite for her to join me. Wanting…no…_needing _to be close to her.

Bella's eyes widen, a look of hesitation on her face.

_Shit. Too fast Masen._

But then she swings her body around, sliding herself between the sheets. My brain and body may be fucked up, but my nose is working just fine. I can smell her, her hair smelling so fucking good I think I might pass out. She lays her head on the pillow, her chocolate brown eyes looking up at me.

"Closer…" I mutter.

Bella shifts in the bed and ends up hitting me in the ribs.

I wince, and immediately Bella shoots upright, her hands over her mouth.

"Oh my god Edward, I'm so sorry," she pleads, then goes to slide out of the bed. "I knew I would hurt you."

I can hear the threat of crying in her voice. Grabbing any part of her my weak ass can, I plead for her to stay.

"Bella..."I swallow hard, my throat getting progressively worse with every word I utter. "If you…leave this bed…I might die," I say, trying to conjure up a smirk.

She looks at me, a mixture of concerned and pissed off.

"You can't say that Edward, you have no idea what we went through in the past 48 hours."

"Please," I beg.

She slides back in thankfully.

We fall silent again, until my slowly healing mind realizes what she said.

_We? Great._

A few seconds later the door opens, a petite young woman steps in.

"Well look who's awake," she says, coming to my bedside. "Been awake 10 minutes and you already got a woman in your bed."

The girls laugh.

I just smile.

The nurse winks at Bella, clearly I have missed something.

"Well I'm Jane, and you have one very special woman right here. She's been worried sick about you." She smiles.

_Is she mine? I don't know._

"If you don't mind I'm going to check your vitals…"

I nod.

"She…can't leave…" I state.

I hear Bella laugh.

"Edward…."

I turn to Bella, "I've waited a year…"

I can see the beautiful red creeping up her cheeks, it making me feel right at home.

"I'm not going anywhere," she says, her beautiful eyes staring into my soul.

I then feel a sharp prick in my right arm.

"Fuck," I cry out.

"Sorry about that," Jane says, a smirk on her face. "Ok Romeo, head back."

Over the next ten minutes, she asks me a million questions about how I am feeling, checking the monitors, and blinding the fuck out of me with her flashlight.

"Things are looking good," she says, and I see Bella smile out of the corner of my eye. "But no getting back on that bull anytime soon. You've got a lot of healing to do mister."

_Ha._

Jane smiles again, then leaves the room without uttering another word, and its back to just Bella and I.

_The way it should always be._

I take a deep breath, my body fighting to stay awake again. Leaning back into the bed, I lift my arm up very slowly, fighting through the extreme pain, and wrap my arm around her, pushing her closer into me.

We both lay there silent, before I feel the need to talk. Needing to get if off my chest.

"Bella…"

"What Edward," she responds, her eyes still closed.

"I'm sorry…" I breathe out.

"Don't Edward," she says firm. "Not here, not now."

I immediately shut up, knowing that she means it.

_Don't ruin this moment._

Before I know it, my eyelids are becoming heavy again, and sleep takes over.

0o00o0

I wake up for what seems like the thousandth time in an hour and notice that my bed is cold…and empty. I search around the room, no one within eyesight.

_Fuck. Did she finally come to her senses and leave again?_

I know that if I try to get out of this, bed I will probably fall on my face, I sit there…and wait.

Waiting to see if my angel comes back to me.

And I wait. And wait.

As I lay there, I start to count the dots on the ceiling, wondering if I should just go back to sleep, my body not nearly done getting the amount I really need. But instead, I take the time to scan my body, going over every bruise and cut, most of them not the worst I've seen…or had. Reaching down between my thighs, I make sure my dick and balls are still attached.

But then a figure comes bouncing through the door, my heart still freaking the fuck out when I lay eyes on her. She stops in the door way, her eyes diverted to my crotch, and that's when I realize I still have my hand in my gown.

"I can come back later," she says with a grin on her face.

"Ha," I say, removing my hand.

I now notice that she is holding her stomach, a bulge under her sweatshirt.

"Bella…" I say, flicking my eyebrow up at her.

She slowly makes her way over, and then starts to pull it out.

"I figured your first meal shouldn't shitty hospital food," she states as she places an In N Out milkshake in front of me.

_Fuck. I love this woman. _

"I remembered that you liked Vanilla, I hope that was right."

I shake my head, and go to take it from her, but I can't hold onto it, my muscles too weak.

"Shit," Bella says, noticing. "Here."

She put her knees onto the bed, holding the drink up to my face.

I give her a "are you fucking kidding me?"

"Come on, I bet it will feel good," she says, waving it in front of me.

_Fuck it._

I wrap my lips around the straw, even sucking hurts a little, the movements of the muscles tearing the cuts on the face a little. But when the cold fluid hits my throat, a moment of relief hits me, temporarily numbing the intense burn.

When I finish it, Bella has a proud look on her face, almost like a mother who just got her toddler to eat peas. Laying my head back, the urge to sleep again creeps up, but I try to fight it, but Bella tells me not to, my eyes drift shut.

**BPOV**

After he falls asleep again, I jump down off the bed, figuring this is the best time to go call everyone and tell them. I walk down to the lobby, knowing cell phones aren't allowed in hospitals.

Pulling out my cell...I stand there, trying to decide who I should call first. Putting the phone to my ear, I wait for someone to pick up, and on the third ring I hear Alice's voice.

"Bella?" I hear Alice say, a worried tone in her voice.

"He's awake," I say, a happy tear falling down my cheek.

"OH!" she screams. "I knew it was only a matter of time. Thing always work out 'll be there as soon as possible."

I hang up with her, immediately calling Rose.

"Hello…." she says, having just woken her up.

"Rose, he's awake…"

"That's awesome Bella…" she says in a monotone.

"Yeah…hey do you know Emmett's number? I need to call him…"

I then hear a voice in the background, then a bunch of garble.

"What's up Bella Bee?" Emmett asks.

I laugh to myself.

"Having fun Emmett?" I ask, a giggle escaping me.

"Like you wouldn't believe," he responds, a smile apparent through his tone.

"Well if you two can pull your asses out of bed, I'm sure Edward would like to see you."

"Ahh shit, Bucking Bronco is awake…we'll be right over Bella Bee."

He clicks the phone off.

_Bucking Bronco._

I can feel my cheeks become warm, remembering everything.

Just as I am about to dial my parents, I see them walking towards me, coffee in hand.

"Hey sweetie," my mother says as she wraps her arm around me. "Are you ok?"

I smile.

"Where's Eric?" I ask looking around.

"Your brother had to get back to Vancouver, some band thing he couldn't get out of, he really wanted to be here for you."

"That's ok," I respond. "He's awake…" a large smile coming across my face.

She pulls back from me.

"I told you everything would work out."

"He's still pretty beaten up though, he can't stay awake for more than a few minutes, and I can tell he's in a lot of pain."

"It's going to be a long road to recovery Bella, I've seen a lot of people go through bad accidents like this," my dad pipes up.

I know things aren't going to be perfect, hell…I don't even know if we are back together, but I feel so very protective of him, not wanting his to go through any more pain alone.

My mom stays by my side, her hands smoothing the back of my head.

"By the way…" my father starts. "You gave your mother and I one hell of a heart attack when we went to go get you from your room…."

I bite my lip.

"Sorry, I just couldn't sleep…or stay away from him."

My father nods, and I know he constantly worries about me.

"So…" my father says, looking around. "Are we gonna meet this fella anytime soon?"

_Shit. Here? Now?_

My stomach starts to do flip flops, this is not really how I wanted my parents to meet Edward, not under these circumstances.

"Uhh now?" I say. "I don't really know if he'll be awake though."

"That's fine sweetie…" my mother comforts.

Taking a sip of my coffee, it instantly relaxes me, even thought my heart is fluttering like a hummingbird.

When we reach the second floor, I pass by Jane, who gives me a confident smile.

_I've really grown to like her._

Opening the door slowly, I am surprised when I see Edward sitting up a little, his eyes open. As soon as he spots me, a large smile comes across his face, instantly making me return one.

Then the butterflies in my stomach overtake my nerves again.

Holding the door open, Edward gets a better glimpse of me, then his eyes fall on my parents. Edward shifts in the bed, a clear sign of pain shoots across his face.

"Don't move," I say, walking over to his bedside.

My parents remain by the door.

"I'm sorry," I say only so that Edward can hear me.

He gives me a small smile, but I can tell he's nervous.

I usher my parents over, my mother has a huge smile on her face, my father…trying to, but failing miserably.

"Edward, this is my mother Renee," I say.

"Nice to meet you Edward, I've heard a lot about you."

Edward looks over at me, a worried look on his face.

_Fuck mom._

Then my father comes closer.

"And this is my father, Charlie," I say, my heart racing even more.

Edward shifts in the bed, lifting his arm up, Charlie meeting him halfway, both of them shaking hands.

I think I hold my breath until my father speaks.

"Nice to meet you Edward."

"You...too," Edward responds, pain in his voice.

"Uh, I'll be right back," I say, leaving everyone behind.

I walk out to the nurse's station, finding Jane immediately.

"Hey sweetie," she says as soon as she sees me.

"Hey," I say smiling. "Uhh, he's in a lot of pain. I don't think he will admit it…is there anything we can do?"

"His doctor should be here shortly, I will mention it to him."

"Thanks," I say, then head back to the room.

When I get there, I can't help but smile.

My mother and father are now sitting in chairs, all three of them laughing. Looking over at Edward, I give him a wink.

My mother then notices me.

"Hey sweetie," she says. "Edward was just telling us about your first time on a horse."

"SO mean," I say, turning to Edward.

We then hear a light rap on the door, Emmett and Rose coming through.

"Hey man," Emmett says walking up to Edward's side. "You fucking gave us the fright of our lives. Don't do that shit again, you hear me?"

Emmett leans into Edward, giving him a manly handshake hug thing.

"Don't plan on it," Edward responds.

Rose gives Edward a half-hearted smile, knowing not much is ever going to change between those two. Once everyone gets situated, Alice and Jackson come bouncing through the door, everyone exchanging hugs.

Before we know it, there are seven people in the room, and the place getting a little rowdy.

"So this is where the party is at," I hear a voice say, and turn to face who it is.

_Peter._

I fidget as Peter enters the room, looking at everyone.

_And my nerves JUST calmed down. _

I can see Edward's body tense, so I place my hand on top of his, hoping it will calm him a little.

_Right Bella…cause he can't feel your shaking hand. _

Peter nods to Emmett and Jackson, each of them returning one. Peter walks around to the other side of the bed, and looks down at Edward.

"Glad to see you are alright," he say, no emotion in his voice.

I look up at Peter, hoping he'll remember about our conversation.

"Uh, your sister and I were very worried about you."

_Better._

"Uhh thanks," Edward says. "Where is Victoria?"

"She should be here soon; she had some things she had to take care of with Charlotte before she could come."

"Oh," Edward responds.

When the room falls silent again, I realize that I should probably introduce my parents.

"Uhh Peter," I say, getting his attention. "These are my parents, Renee and Charlie."

Peter leaves the bedside, walking over to shake their hands.

"It's very nice to meet you. You raised one incredible daughter."

"I like to think so," my mother responds.

I give Edward a confused look, both of us mystified by his…niceness.

Moments later, a guy walks into the room, and I vaguely remember him being here before, assuming this Edward's doctor.

"Wow!" the older man says. "I think you win the most visitors award."

We all watch him make his way over to Edward.

"Well, first off I'd like to say, welcome back. And I have been your attending physician since you arrived here, I'm Dr. Marks."

"Thanks."

"So how are you feeling?" the doctor asks.

"Uhh, alright I guess….having a hard time staying awake."

"That's normal. Are you in any pain?"

"Nah."

"Edward…" I say.

He looks up at me.

"Ok, maybe a little."

"Ok," Dr. Marks says, jotting stuff in the chart.

"Well I'm going to do a more in depth once over, checking different parts of your body," he adds. "So if everyone could leave the room for privacy sake's," he says to us.

We all start to filter out, but Peter remains.

"I'm his father, I'd like to stay."

Dr. Marks nods his head.

When we get out of the room, we all decide to go down to the café, and I realize I haven't eaten in forever. Somewhere between a muffin and an orange juice I finally start to feel…human.

0o0o0

Once Edward's checkup is over, my parents explain that they need to get back to Seattle. To be honest it makes me a little sad, but I understand.

I give them a hug, and then they get in a cab, leaving the my way back to the room, I peek in the door, noticing a new guest has arrived.

"Bella!" Victoria says, flying over to me, wrapping her arms around me.

"Hey Victoria," I say ,with a surprised excitement in my voice.

"I knew I would see you again," she whispers into my ear, then pulls back, and gives me a wink.

I look around the room, something missing.

"Where's Charlotte?" I ask her.

"Uhh I made arrangements for her to stay back in Nevada, the hospital won't allow kids in this ward, so I couldn't bring her along. I kinda also thought it might scare the crap outta her to see her favorite uncle all banged up. So if she asks we're gonna tell her you landed your ass in jail or something."

I look over at Edward, noticing a concerned look on his face.

"Oh," is all I say.

Pretty soon Edward and I find ourselves alone again, everyone coming and going like a herd of elephants, and to be honest, it's even making me tired. Edward takes the time to tell me about his visit from the doctor. It turns out that he has multiple cracked ribs and a sprained left arm, something they diagnosed from his scans that they took when he was admitted. I notice the new wrap around his chest, and brace on his arm. For some reason he looks worse than when I last left him.

**EPOV**

I know exactly who Charlotte is staying with, Victoria's lack of wanting to tell anyone and her lame attempt at making a joke of the whole thing just confirming it. Without me or Peter to help, I knew very well the first person she'd run to.

And it pissed me off. But I knew acting on it would just show Bella that I hadn't changed.

When it came to Jake, no amount of therapy could put out that fuel induced fire.

When the doctor was done giving my once over, I just wanted to be alone with my girl, the new pain medication the doctor prescribed was definitely working its charm.

But somewhere between every one coming and going…I find myself alone with Emmett.

"Turn that shit down," I say, tired of hearing Emmett yell at football game he is currently watching.

"Assholes are losing anyways," he says, tossing the clicker onto the bed.

He sits back in the chair, putting his big ass feet on the bed.

_Dirty fucking shoes._

"So how you feeling man?" he asks.

I shoot him a look.

"Fucking fantastic…"

"Well you look it," he says smiling.

We both fall silent.

"So what happened?"I ask my memory a little fuzzy.

He gets a serious look on her face, dropping his feet from the bed.

"Forget about it," I choke out.

"Nah, man, if you want to know, I'll tell you."

I stay silent, waiting for him to start.

"Well, everything went fine up until second number 5…but I knew something was wrong the second you left that gate, and I think you knew it too."

I swallow hard, trying to remember. Anything.

From the moment I woke up in this hospital bed, I knew how I got here. Concussions and coma's aren't rare in the bull riding world, and I always knew this, my father always saying I'd break my neck or some shit.

Emmett continued on, describing each second, the amount of time it took them to get me untangled and the bull off me.

I had lived it, but just hearing the words come out of Emmett's mouth gave me fucking chills.

When he finishes, he just sits back again, his feet finding their place back on the bed.

He opens his mouth again, but then shuts it quickly.

"Out with it," I snap.

"She loves you, you know…" he says.

I shift in my bed.

"She came here without question. Did you know she's supposed to be in Barcelona right now?"

I swallow hard.

"No, I didn't know," I say almost in an angered tone.

_Why didn't she tell me?_

"Yeah, she was supposed to go on some study abroad program over there, was on the way to the airport when Jackson called her."

I become aggravated, realizing I screwed up her life _again_. Forbidding her from accomplishing things that being with me wouldn't allow her too.

Emmett must have noticed my uneasiness because he then starts to try to calm me down.

"Chill out man. Believe me, she wants to be here. If she didn't, she wouldn't be here. Simple as that."

"Thank you Dr. Phil," I spit out.

We both drop the subject, turning our attention back to the TV, my insides fuming, but I'm mad at myself, not Bella.

_I don't deserve her. I never did. _

**BPOV**

Pretty soon another day passes, the Vegas sun setting. Edward's attitude changed at some point during the day, but Idecide to chalkit up to the pain. Somehow I found myself in a fold out bed, probably Edward's doing. Which is fine with me, cause I'd rather not leave him.

In the middle of the night, I find myself having a hard time staying asleep. Even though I know he is in the next bed, I need to feel him. To smell him. Much like an addict needs its fix.

I get out of my bed, pulling the sheets of Edward's bed back, sliding in next to him. Reaching up, I run my hands through Edward's hair, a low moan leaving his throat.

"Bella," he breathes out.

I can't see him, but I know that he is awake.

After a few silent moments, I shift, leaning my torso up so that our faces are at the same level. My heart is racing rapidly, wondering if this is a good idea or not.

Taking my hand, I run it gently down his cheek, feeling the roughness of his cuts, his facial hair poking at my fingertips.

I then lean in, his scent immediately hits me, and I slowly press my lips to his, but he doesn't respond.

I move my hand from the side of his face to the back of his neck, tracing along the bottom of his hair. I take his bottom lip in between mine. I continue to move my lips, part of me yelling to stop.

When he continues to be unresponsive, I start to pull back, realizing I just made a huge mistake. But just as our lips part again, I feel my face being pulled forward. The tip of his warm tongue traces my lips and I open my mouth, his tongue entering it.

This kiss is like kissing him for the first time, my stomach doing summersaults, it so innocent, yet so passionate. By the end of the kiss were both breathing hard, not having experienced that in quite some time. We both fall asleep in each other arms, another day here and gone.

0o0o0

It's been 6 days since Edward was admitted into the hospital, 4 since he was pulled out of his coma. His strength growing with each passing hour, his mind is becoming clearer, the bruises and cuts on his face healing. He still has to wear the arm brace, and his rib tightly wrapped, but for someone who was in a coma, it's definitely not the worst outcome.

Most everyone has gone home, but I refuse to leave him until he is released, if even then.

"Morning you two," a nurse says, as she comes to check on things.

Edward and I haven't really talked about the past yet, both feeling like this isn't the place or time to do it. I haven't kissed Edward since the last time, not knowing if that was the best thing for the both of us. Ever since the fright of him not waking up passed, and the realization of him soon leaving the hospital becoming apparent, I began to question our….relationship.

_Do I even call it that? _

I pull myself from the bed, becoming uncomfortable for some reason.

"So how are you feeling today Edward?" the nurse says.

"I feel great," Edward says, and I can immediately tell he's lying by the tone of his voice.

"Well, you seem to be healing very well," the nurse says as she checks his fluids. "Dr. Marks will be in shortly, and maybe if you're lucky, he'll release you," she says winking.

After she finishes her work, we sit there silent, something still bothering Edward, but I don't want to bring it up now.

"Are you really feeling better?" I ask, hoping he'll tell me the truth. "Because you don't want to push it."

He sighs.

"I'm really ready to get the fuck out of this bed, and go home."

I swallow, looking down at my hands, nervous that things are changing back.I then start to hear Edward shift in his bed and I look up, noticing that he is trying to get out of it.

"Edward! What are you doing? I say, going to get up from the chair. "You're going to hurt yourself."

"Sit," he demands, his voice harsh.

I do as I'm told, but watch him closely, waiting to catch him if he falls. One he gets upright, a smile comes across his face, it's almost childlike. As he goes to stand up, he gets irritated at his IV, and decides to rip it out.

As much as this horrifies me, I can't help but laugh, Edward looking so...proud. When he gets to his feet I can now see his legs, match the rest of his body, large bruises across his shins.

"Edward…" I breathe out, trying to stop him again.

He then starts to kneel down in front of my chair, the pain apparent on his face.

_Still so stubborn._

"Bella Swan," he says through hard breathing, his green eyes looking intently into mine, and I almost feel like he can see right through me. "I don't deserve you, and I know that I have done a lot of fucked up things in the past, but I will never stop loving you. And if you give me a second chance, I will prove that to you every day."

I can feel a lump forming in my throat, remembering how I use to fantasize about this scenario a thousand times. To be honest, I thought it would never happen.

Scooting closer to the edge of my seat, I place my hands on either side of Edwards face.

"Edward, as much as I tried to push you away, as much as I tried to get you out of my mind, it truly never worked. I wanted to deny that I didn't have any love for you, but the only person I was convincing was myself."

A small smile comes across his face. Reaching out, I pull up the sleeve of his gown, exposing the tattoo.

He chuckles, shaking his head.

"That's a story for another day."

I shake my head.

"Why…why would you do that to yourself Edward?"

He looks over at it, running his fingers over the dark lines.

"Because you were the best thing that ever happened to me Bella; and as much as it caused me pain to look at it and think I would never hold you again, I _never _wanted to forget you."

I can feel tears stream down my reaches up, wiping them as fast as they fall.

"Please...don't cry Bella. I can't stand thinking I have caused you pain."

I let out a small laugh.

"They're not tears of sadness Edward…"

He catches on, his hand finding mine.

"I love you Bella. Have since the moment I laid eyes on you, and I always will, until the day that I die. When the doctors release me, the only way I am leaving this building is with you in my arms. I can survive being trampled by a bull, but I don't think I can survive watching you walk away from me again."

He reaches up again and places his hand on my cheek, his thumb stroking my cheekbone, his emerald green eyes pleading.

"Promise me Bella. Because without you, I have no reason to live."


	28. Chapter 28 Back To You

** A/N: Sorry for the small delay, real life has gotten quite busy lately, which means less time to write.**

**Also, I have decided that I am going to start bringing Perfectly Lonely to a close. Seems just like a good place to stop...so there might only be like one or two chapters left and then the epilogue! **

**Thanks to everyone still reading and reviewing! Love you all**

* * *

**BPOV**

I can feel my body vibrating, my leg bouncing up and down.

Once I entered that hospital, I knew Edward and I would never be apart again, it nearly killed us both the last time.

I love Edward, and he loves me. That's obvious. But only time will tell if things are…different. We have both definitely changed, but I hope Edward is still the same Edward that I fell in love with.

Same Edward…just less violent.

I lay my head back in the chair and shut my eyes, waiting for our departure. Moments later, I feel Edward's hand slip onto my knee, instantly relaxing me. I shift my head over, my eyes meeting Edward's.

"Are you ok?" he asks reluctantly.

"Yeah…just a little nervous," I admit.

He furrows his brow at me.

"I know," he says just above a whisper. "It's seems weird…right?"

I nod my head, biting my lip softly.

He shifts his hand from my knee, and takes my hand, our fingers intertwined.

"I love you," he says softly.

I lean over the arm rest, placing a soft kiss on his lips. But soon the kiss becomes heavy, our breathing becomes labored.

I pull back from him, feeling incredibly uncomfortable putting on a public display. A moment later the plane backs out of the tarmac, and once again, I find myself Nevada bound.

Edward sleeps during most of the flight due to the massive amount of pain meds he is still on. The bruises and cuts still continue to heal, but they aren't bad enough to get the attention of everyone around us. The doctor told him to wear the arm brace, but knowing Edward, that thing won't last long.

I spend my flight listening to my iPod and staring out the window.

I'm still amazed at all that had happened throughout the year's time, but something just feels...the same. My love for Edward feels like it never faltered, like we never had our dark days.

Midway through the flight, I find myself staring at Edward, his sleeping form so beautiful…and peaceful. The urge for his touch overcomes me, and I hunker down, putting the arm rest up, my body sliding up against him. He instantly lifts his arm up, wrapping it around me tightly, in almost a protective grip.

I can't help but smile.

It had always amazed me how Edward's simple touches say so much and calm me instantly.

With the head on Edward's chest, I find my eyes becoming heavy, the soft music putting me to sleep.

0o0o0o

I feel the plane jerk, instantly awaking Edward and I.

He shifts, his back arching, his muscles probably sore from sitting for so long. But as he moves, his arm never leaves me. I look up at him from under my lashes, noticing a serious look on his face.

"What?" I say, my heart racing a little.

"I can't wait to wake up next to you every morning for the rest of my life."

I can feel the blush creeping up, my heart racing even more.

When the plane starts to descend, I instantly get this feeling like…I'm home.

When we get off the plane, Edward and I walk through the airport hand in hand, both of us in no hurry. When we reach the baggage claim, we patiently…well _I_patiently wait…for the bags to come around.

"There it is…" I state, pointing to my bag.

Edward shifts forward, trying to make his way towards the carousel.

"What are you doing?" I ask, lurching forward and grabbing his arm. "You can't…"

Edward looks back at me, a smile on his face.

"Women should never have to get her bags," he states, amusement still of his face.

I roll my eyes, and let him continue on.

_Men and their pride._

As I stand back and watch, I can't help but laugh. When Edward reaches down, I can tell it's difficult for him, his frustration with his arm brace growing with every minute. By the time he has gotten both our bags, I can see that he is winded, his back rising and falling. When he turns around to face me again, he narrows his eyes.

"Something funny?" he says, the corner of his mouth turned up.

"Yeah…you…" I laugh.

He marches towards me, only stopping once our skin makes contact. I canfeel his hips up against mine, his scent making a bubble around us. Seconds later, I feel his hand wrap around the back of my neck, his delicate fingers playing in my hair.

"Oh how I've missed you," he breathes out.

I flicker my eyes up to him, and he immediately puts his lips to mine. Our lips move in together, the tip of his tongue tracing small circles, making my lips part. As we continue to kiss, I can't keep my hands to myself, my fingers want to be on him. I palm his back, feeling the ridges of the bandages underneath his cotton shirt. I travel my hand up, finding the back of his neck, my fingers gripping his hair.

Our kiss deepens, both of us not able to get enough.

I hear a low growl leave Edward's throat, the animalistic sound making me more hot and bothered.

"Fuck," he states, pulling back, our foreheads still touching.

"I missed that almost as much as I missed you."

I giggle.

"I'm pretty sure that's part of me."

"One on the endless list of things I love about you."

I can feel myself blush. Edward reaches up, his finger rubbing my cheek.

"I dreamt about that shade of red," he whispers.

"Stop," I laugh, pulling us from our moment.

"Come on," Edward smiles and grabs my hand. "I wanna go home."

0o0o0o

When we reach the house, my stomach starts doing flip flops, the realization that I am truly here…and I'm here to stay

I realize now that my love for Edward never faltered, or changed. I guess I was just really good at lying to myself, and to others. The moment I heard Edward was in danger, that tidal wave of my feelings for him came crashing over me again, and that's when I realized how much of an idiot I was. . I know we still have a lot to work through. But peering out the window up at his house, I know I will never be able to leave him again. Come hell or high water. I_am _ I silently promise myself I will never leave home again.

"Bella…." I hear Edward say, and I shift my eyes, seeing him standing with my car door open, waiting for me to get out.

"Are you ok?" he asks.

I give him my best smile, and pull my body from the cab. Edward slips his hand in mine and makes his way to the front door, pulling out his keys. When we get inside, Edward doesn't turn the lights on. Seconds later, I hear a bang, which I can only assume are our suitcases hitting the floor. Edward continues walking, his grip on me tight. We begin to ascend the stairs, the house completely dark.

_Don't trip._

I close my eyes, remembering every inch of the house, knowing exactly where we are headed. My heart begins to race, but my insides clench.

_It's been too long. _

I hear the door squeak open and when we get halfway in the room, Edward pulls on my arm, my body coming into contact with his.

"I love you Bella," he whispers, a soft kiss coming across my lips.

I lean up on my tippy toes, my mouth finding his jaw, his facial hair long and rough.

"I love you too Edward."

He takes a step forward, his massive form hovering over me until my knee's buckle, my head hitting the soft mattress. Edward climbs on top of me, feeling the bed shift under his weight. I realize now that my breathing is erratic , my body buzzing from the high.

But the movement stops, and the room falls silent.

"Fuck!" I hear Edward say in a huffed tone, and then I can feel him get off the bed.

Reaching over, I find the lamp, switching it on. Before me is Edward, tangled up in his arm brace. I bite my lower lip, stopping myself from laughing.

_He is too adorable for his own good. _

"Uhh, are you ok?" I ask.

He shoots me a look.

"Fucking fantastic," he smirks. His hands drop from the brace, a sign of defeat on his face.

I sit up, reaching out for Edward.

"Come on, let's go to bed," I state.

Edward gives me a frown, making me laugh

_Still such a boy._

"I'm not going anywhere," I smirk.

His frown instantly changes, a wide smirk taking its place.

"That is the best sentence you have ever said."

I lift my butt up, sliding myself into the bed, and pat the mattress next to me.

"Come on cowboy, first you must sleep…"

He kicks his boots off, and lowers himself onto the bed. Once he gets situated, I nuzzle up against him, my body fitting into his form like a glove.

Edward kisses my head and I swear I hear him sniff.

"Home," he mutters.

And soon after, sleep overtakes us both.

**EPOV**

I open my eyes, an intense burn radiating from my chest. Pulling the covers off me, I slide out of the bed making sure to not stir Bella. When I stand up, I take a moment to look down at her.

_My angel._

Walking into the bathroom, I stare at myself in the mirror, finally able to look at the state I am in. Lifting off my shirt, I trace my fingers across the cuts and bruises.

_Fuck._

The cuts on my face are healing, my facial hair the longest it's ever been. I reach up, slowly undoing the tie on my arm brace, sliding it off gently. I stretch out my fingers, the muscles in them tight from the restraint. I reach down, pulling off the wraps around my chest, just wanting to feel normal again and not have to deal with all this….shit.

Turning on the water on the sink, I reach into the shower, pulling my razor and shaving cream from it. Reaching up with my right arm, I lather my face up, knowing this is gonna fucking hurt. Reaching up, I make one pass, the burn in my ribs getting worse.

"Shit…" I whisper to myself.

When I look back up in the mirror, I see a sleepy Bella leaning against the door frame.

"I kinda liked the scruffy look," she smiles.

A small laugh escapes me.

"I didn't know you had a thing for cavemen," I say.

Bella pushes off the wall, sauntering over to me. I look down, now realizing she is wearing nothing but her tshirt and panties.

_I'm fucked._

She gets up to the counter, pulling herself on top of it, right next to the sink.

"Gimme," she says as she holds her hand out. "I know you're in pain."

I shake my head.

"I'd like to not bleed to death today," I joke.

Bella sticks out her bottom lip. I take the razor off the counter, putting it in her hand. She smiles, gives me a come hither gesture, and she opens her legs, my body sliding in between them. I stare at her, thinking she is even more beautiful that I remember.

Looking into her brown eyes, I watch her, a determined look of concentration on her face. She slowly slides the razor down my face, methodically working. I reach out, sliding my hands around her lower torso.

"Edward…." She says seriously, not breaking her concentration.

When she finally finishes, she leans back with a look of contentment.

"All done."

I gaze at myself in the mirror, a more recognizable Edward looking back at me. Moments later, Bella jumps down off the counter, and saunters back into the bedroom.

"Edward, your phone is ringing," she yells.

Walking back into the bedroom, I pull my phone from the nightstand.

_Emmett._

"Hey, what's up man?" I say as I answer it.

"Looks like you made it home alright, how ya feeling?"

"Yeah…I'm feeling alright. A little stiff."

"Yeah, I'm sure you are," Emmett laughs, his sentence having a double meaning.

_Can't disagree. _

Emmett falls silent.

"Is there a reason you called?" I say as I look over to Bella, who is now back in bed.

"Yeah, I need to tell you something…."

I wait.

"Are you going to tell me?"

"Uhh not over the phone."

_Am I in the fucking twilight zone?_

"Did you not call _me?"_

"Can we do dinner tonight? Jackson and Alice are already down…"

"Yeah…sure man."

"Ok, we'll be over at 6."

"Sounds good man," I respond, then hang up.

"What the hell was that about?" Bella utters.

"Emmett being retarded as usual…" I say, throwing my phone on the bed. "Were going to have dinner with him and Jackson and Alice tonight at 6 if you're up to it."

She shrugs.

"I promise I'll make them leave by 7."

I hear Bella laugh, but then she shoots up.

"I get to see Lily!" she squeals.

"Oh that little devil spawn," I joke.

Bella's mouth opens.

"I am so jealous you got to see her. She _is _my niece…"

_Ok, well not REALLY. _

"Well she is _my _second cousin," I say smiling.

I then hear my phone ring again, my frustration growing. Bella picks it up as if she's going to answer it but stops, and hands it out to me.

"It's your father."

_I can't ever catch a fucking break. _

Taking it from Bella's hand, I answer it.

"Edward?" I hear my father say, his tone light.

"Yes," I respond.

"Uhh how ya feeling?" he says.

I think my mouth falls open. He has never asked me "how" I was.

"I'm alright. A little sore."

"Oh well…just make sure you keep up on your pain meds."

I look over at Bella….confused.

"Uhhh sure will," I respond.

We both fall silent.

"Is there….something you need?"

"I was just wondering if you wanted to come over and have a beer…" Peter says. "Ya know, catch up?"

"Sure, sounds great. But Bella's with me…"

"By all means, she can come too."

"OK…we'll be over in a few."

"Can't wait."

We both hang up, and I stand there staring at my phone.

"Is everything all right?" Bella asks as she starts to slide out of the bed.

I turn to look at her.

"Would you mind going to my dad's with me…he wants us to come over."

_I can't believe those words that are coming out of my mouth._

Bella starts to grin.

"What?" I ask.

"Looks like our talk worked."

_Now I'm really confused._

Bella looks down at her hands, and I instantly know she is holding something back.

"Spill," I say, tapping my foot jokingly.

She stands up, her body close to mine.

"He loves you Edward, and Victoria, and Charlotte," she says.

"Well he's fooled us…" I snap.

Bella begins to bite her lip.

"You need to give him a chance Edward. I really think him seeing you in that hospital bed put things into perspective," she says, then pauses. "I think it did for everyone…"

I take her wrists in my hands, pulling her into me. She rests her forehead on my chest.

"I'm so sorry that I put you through that…." Iwhisper into her ear.

I feel Bella's shake her head, her hair tickling me. I lean back so that I can see her face, which now has silent tears going down it.

"Why are you crying?" I ask as I rub the back of her head.

"You shouldn't be the one apologizing Edward," she chokes out.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

She just shrugs. Bending down, I pick her up, my arm on fire but seeing my girl upset brings me even more. Walking us back into the bathroom, I set her gently down on the counter, so that her face is now level with mine.

She sits there, just staring at me. She then leans over, giving me a small kiss, then pulls back.

"I'm sorry…." she spits out.

I go to make a rebuttal, but she holds her hand up, stopping me.

"I need to get this out," she says. "I was wrong about you Edward."

She closes her mouth again.

_What the hell does that mean?_

"Wait, that's not what I meant…" she says, shaking her head. "I was wrong about us…."

_Is that any better?_

"Fuck," she spits out.

I rub my hands up and down her shoulders and arms, hoping to calm her.

"Bella, it's just me. Take a deep breath."

She does as I tell her, her tense form relaxing a little.

"I just want to apologize for everything we went through in the past year. I realize how most of it was…fucking stupid."

_Why is she apologizing to me?_

Leaning in, I press my lips to hers, not wanting her to say anything else. We have both gone through too much pain, and personally, I refuse to relive it. Bella's hands wrap around my waist, the familiar spark buzzing through my body. When the fire starts to run hot, I can't help but moan.

_I swear I'll never get enough of her._

Bella's hands make their way to the nape of my neck, her fingers twirling the strands. Then I feel a hot breath on my ear.

"I need you," she says into my ear.

And just like that, I wrap my arm around her lower back, skimming her off the countertop, her legs wrapping tight around me. Making our way back into the bedroom, I set her gently down on the bed, my heart racing. She gives me a smile, and then starts to undress, until I stop her.

"No, no, no," I say "That's my job."

I lean over her form, bringing my fingers up to the top of her pajamas, hooking my index finger into them, slowly pulling them downwards. I can see that her chest rising and falling quickly, and I can tell she is nervous as me.

When I get her bottoms off, I tell her to lean up slightly so that I can get her top off. When I do, I palm one of her breasts, rolling her nipple between my fingers. I then start to run my arms down her torso, my fingers and mind remembering every curve, every mole.

I smile to myself, remembering how I never thought I would get to do this again. When Bella catches my smile, she returns one.

The further south I go, the more my cock hardens, wanting and needing to be inside her. Dipping my hand inside her panties, I can now feel how wet she is. All ready for me.

"Fuck," I breathe out.

I swear I could come just by touching her. When I start to slide her panties off, I notice now that she is no longer bare down there, but instead has a small strip of hair. I look down at it, thinking it might be hotter than none at all.

"Oh yeah," she says noticing. "I needed a change,"

I can see her blush a little. Leaning down, I place a small kiss on it, and then let my tongue run up and down it. Hearing her whimper only makes me kiss it more passionately, my tongue exploring between her lips, her wetness increasing.

When I finish, she sits up slightly, pulling off my sweatpants and boxers, my member standing erect. She looks up at me, her teeth biting her lip in a seductive manner, then wraps my dick in her small hand, her warm lips surrounding it.

As soon as she starts moving back and forth, my body lurches, the intense pleasure so powerful I swear I'm going to blow my load in her mouth.

"Bella…." I breathe out, and she catches on, pulling her lips from my cock.

"Fuck," I spit out, wanting nothing more than to feel her mouth on me, but I don't want this to be over so…soon.

As we both stand there, our desires grow, and we both can't hold on anymore. Picking Bella up, I slide her more onto the bed, my body following. When were lined up, I grab my cock in my hand, sliding the tip of it in between her lips, grazing over the clit, up and back. I do this multiple times, until I hear Bella start to beg.

I then line up, pushing myself inside of her, her tight walls suctioning around my dick.

"Fuck," she breathes out, her hips bucking in the air.

When I stretch her out a little, I start to move, each thrust harder and harder, until constant moans leave us both breathless.

"Jesus Christ Bella," I say, the pleasure greatening with every thrust.

Leaning down, I smash my lips to her neck, wanting to taste her, wanting her as close to me as possible. I start to go as fast as I can, my ribs on fire, my arm burning from holding myself up, but nothing will keep me away from having her. Not after how long I have waited.

After a few more pumps, I can feel Bella is getting close, her body shaking, her back arched.

"Cum for me Bella," I command as I reach down, my fingertips finding her sensitive clit.

"FUCK!" she cries out, and a series of different profanities follow, her orgasm riding through her body. After several waves I feel her relax, her hips now flat against the mattress.

With my finger still on her, I give her clit a wiggle, and she tries to bat my hand away, knowing how sensitive it must be. She then looks up and me, and speaks.

"Get off," she says in a stern voice.

I look at her confused. She then leans up, and points to the bed.

"Lay on your back…now."

I do as I'm told as I slide out of her, and then lay on the bed, my back to the mattress. As soon as I get situated, Bella immediately straddles me, sliding onto me.

"Holy fuck," she cries out.

I'm not gonna lie, the new angle is fucking intense. Wrapping my fingers around her hip bones, I start to gyrate her hips downward, the friction of my head hitting her walls. Throwing my head back, I can feel my orgasm on the brim, each movement too intense for words.

After a few more thrusts I can hold on any longer and I cum, filling inside her. When I come down from it, I open my eyes, Bella still on top of me.

"How I missed _that,_" she says smiling.

"Such a horn dog," I laugh.

"Me?" she says.

Bells starts to get off of me, heading to the bathroom. Sliding off the bed, I follow, turning the shower on.

"Can I interest you in a quick shower?" I ask her.

"Do you really think if we take a shower together we will be quick about it?" she laughs.

"Well…as much as I would love to spend the rest of my life in this bedroom with you…my father is expecting us."

She raises her eyebrows almost like she had forgotten and walks over to the shower, jumping in. I follow her in, shutting the door behind us.

"We have at least another 20 minutes," I smirk, placing my lips of hers.

O0o0o

This is all too weird for me.

Being at my father's house is still not something I enjoy doing, but if he's willing to work on it than so am I. If there is one thing I've learned this year it's people should be given second chances.

Pulling up to the front door, I take Bella's hand, needing her as close to me as possible. When I go to open the front door, we step inside and are greeted by the same eerie quiet that has plagued the house since my mother's death. When we walk through the downstairs, we head out to the back porch, the Nevada sun high and hot in the sky.

Putting my hand to forehead, I glance out at the property, spotting my father's hat.

The same black Stetson my mom gave him. I swear he'll never get rid of it.

Leading Bella and I off the porch we make our way down the property to let my father know that we are here. Instead of taking the long route, I decide to cut through the barn. When we pass all the horse stalls and into the tack room, Bella stops.

Turning around to face her, I become worried.

"Bella, are you ok?" I ask as I step closer to her.

She then looks up at me, a large smile on her face.

"What?" I laugh.

"This is where you first talked to me….." she says, stopping. "Well, more like didn't talk to me."

Looking around the room, all the memories come back to me; it seems like our encounter was decades ago.

"I definitely loved you against my will," I say, squeezing her hand.

"Well thank god you didn't have a very strong will," she says, poking me in the stomach.

I pull her close into me, leaning down and wrapping my hands around her ass cheeks, lifting her up into the air. We kiss, both still not seeming to be able to get enough of each other.

We are lost in our kiss, until I hear a throat clear from behind us, and I instantly know its Peter. We pull our lips from each other, and Bella slides down, but her hand never leaves mine.

"Looks like you're doing well Edward," my father says, an unusual smile on his face.

I look down at Bella, squeezing her hand.

"I am. I have all I ever wanted."

Bella looks downward and I just laugh.

"Well you two are very lucky. I hope you know that," he says.

We both nod, probably in the same state of shock.

"Well, how about them beers?" he says, almost as though he had snapped out of whatever mood he was previously in.

"Sounds good," I say, leading us back up to the house.

Bella and I follow my father back into the house, all of us entering the house through the garage. Bella slides her hand out of mine and walks into the kitchen, grabbing the beers from my father. As soon as my boot hits the tile, my body stops in its tracks, unable to go further.

All the flashbacks of my mother come to me, her flowing brown hair, the intense yellow of the sunflowers in her apron, the plate of cookies. Unfortunately, no amount of therapy has been able to erase that from my memory. Bella notices and gives me a concerned look, and all I can do it return a smug expression. She hands a beer to me and I twist off the top, taking a large swig.

"Wanna go sit outside?" I suggest, needing to get out of this area as fast as possible.

When we all go outside, Bella and I settle for the swing, my father in a large lawn chair. The weather is hot, but there is a breeze. We all take turns taking swigs from our beers, no one really saying much. I look out at the property, the weeds of the hills blowing in the breeze, and it's now that I realize this is the most calm my life has been in a long time.

Throwing my arm over Bella, she scoots over, her body falling into mine. Something about this moment gives me chills, because for once everything seems…right.

I never expected to have some heart to heart with my father, because that's just so not…us. But by him inviting us here, is a better apology than I ever expected to get. Leaning my head back, I breathe in through my nose, the mixture of the country and Bella swirls between my nostrils.

_Heaven._

Taking another swig of my beer, I face my father, his eyes shifting from me to the house. I scrunch my forehead, confused by what he is trying to tell me.

Finally he gives up.

"Edward, can I talk to you inside?"

"Uhh yeah, sure," I say getting up.

My father and I walk back through the front door, both of us immediately heading upstairs.

**BPOV**

I knew this trip couldn't go _this _well.

As I sit on the swing by myself, every scenario goes through my head, half expecting that one of them will come downstairs bleeding, and my bet is on Edward. My knees start to bounce nervously, and I soon find myself picking at my fingernails.

After what seems like forever, I hear the front door being pulled open again, Edward exiting, then Peter. Scanning both their bodies, I see no evidence of blood, and I feel myself instantly sigh.

Edward comes back over to the swing, assuming the same position he was previously in. As much as I want to ask right there what the hell that was all about…it's not my concern.

_I'll just ask Edward later._

"Would you two like another beer?" Peter asks standing up.

"Please," Edward says, answering for the both of us.

Peter goes back inside, and the curiosity is killing me. I go to open my mouth until Edward says something.

"Shit…" he breathes out, his eyes directed towards the driveway.

I turn my head, seeing a familiar car coming up.

_A red Jeep._

* * *

**Will update again ASAP, but it will probably be more that a week! **_  
_


	29. Chapter 29 Together Again

**A/N: Hello everyone! Sorry this chapter took so long to get out! Life has been crazy busy!**

**A big thanks to CherylSab for beta'ing this chapter! Love you girl! xoxox**

**As ever, I hope you enjoy it and thanks again for reading an reviewing! **

* * *

**EPOV**

_Do I ever get a fucking break?_

Just when I thought maybe…just maybe…things would calm down, that fucking dick has to come sauntering back into our lives. When I see his Jeep coming up the driveway, my body instantly tenses. I grip my beer bottle tightly, feeling the mixture of alcohol and pain pills.

_Maybe the beer wasn't a good idea. _

Moments later I feel Bella's hand slide into mine, her giving it a tight squeeze. Looking over at her, I can tell she is worried, so I give her the best smile I can come up with.

_Things between Jake and I will never be fucking dandy. _

As his car approaches, the fire in my chest burns hotter…my knuckles remembering every hit, every blow. When he parks, I see his shaggy ass hair though the front windshield, that boy looking more like a fucking werewolf every time I see him. As he climbs out of the car, he stands up, then reaches back in cab, pulling something out.

And that something….is my fucking niece.

As much as I want to lurch out of this fucking seat and rip Charlotte out of his hands, that wouldn't show Bella that I can do this. I can control it. Putting my lips to my beer, I take a big swig, hoping maybe I'll just pass the fuck out and not have to deal with it.

Diverting my eyes from them I scan out at the field, until I see Charlotte run past us and straight into Bella's legs.

"Izzeybella!" she screams, wrapping her arm around Bella's legs.

I can't seem to hold back a small laugh.

"Hey Charlotte…." Bella says, wrapping her hands around Charlotte's arms. "Stand up and let me look at you!"

Charlotte does as she's told, and adds a small twirl.

"Wow, when did you become such a big girl…how old are you now?" Bella asks.

Charlotte holds out one hand, her fingers sprawled.

"Five?" Bella gasps.

Charlotte nods her head.

I then hear a throat clear, my eyes snapping up to the massive figure in my eye line. Jake shifts his eyes around, he's clearly just as uneasy about this as I am.

"Good to see you're doing better Masen," he says, his voice quiet.

I remain silent, not giving the asshole the satisfaction of my response, until my father shoots me a glance.

"Thanks," I mutter, taking another swig of my beer.

"Hey Bella," he says.

"Hey Jake," Bella responds, her tone too calm for my liking.

I put my attention back on Bella, who now has Charlotte on her lap.

"You want a beer Jake?" my father says, breaking the silence.

"Nah, I'm driving, and I have the little one," he nods towards Charlotte.

I pull everything I have to not break up laughing, him never giving a shit before.

Things begin to get really fucking awkward, my nerves getting worse as each second passes.

"Well I was just going to show Charlotte the new foal, so…." Jake says, walking over to get Charlotte from Bella.

But then Charlotte starts to scream when Jake goes to wrap her from Bella's arms.

The fire is fucking fuming now.

Standing up, I pick up Charlotte and she instantly stops crying.

"You wanna go see the baby horse?" I ask her.

She nods slowly.

"But only if you and Izzeybella come too…"

I look down at Bella and she shrugs her shoulder, getting up from the swing. We walk past Jake, no one saying anything…well…except for my father.

"Edward…." he says, giving me a glare.

_His own daughter is afraid of him._

Rolling my eyes, I place Charlotte on the ground, taking her hand instead. When we make it down the porch, I turn my head, calling back to Jake.

"Are you coming or what?"

Seconds later, I see Jake on my left side. We all walk down to the stalls, everyone as silent as the grave. When we reach the barn, Jake takes Charlotte from me, picking her up and swooping her though the air, laughter leaving her.

_Traitor. _

I lean over to Bella, placing a small kiss on her lips before sliding her in front of me, wrapping my arms around her tightly. Looking out at Jake and Charlotte...I can't lie, this is definitely not something I thought I would ever see.

_Maybe he is trying._

"Crazy huh?" Bella says, almost as though she was reading my thoughts.

"Yeah…" I mutter. "Gonna take a lot more than one afternoon for him to become a father."

I feel Bella nudge me in the ribs.

"At least he's trying…" she says.

I shrug my shoulders, not responding. Placing my nose on top of Bella's head, I inhale, her scent attacking me.

_Best fucking smell ever._

A few minutes later, a giggling Charlotte and a smiling Jacob come back into the barn.

"Uncle Edward, did you see the baby horse?" Charlotte says.

"I did," I say leaning down.

"I want one…" she responds, a sad tone in her voice.

"Well, maybe grandpa can get you one…" I suggest. "Or maybe Jake," I say with a crooked smile.

Charlotte zips around to face Jake, a huge smile on her face. She starts jumping up and down, an ear piercing squeal escaping her throat. Jake doesn't look too thrilled about my suggestion.

_He probably can't even afford clothes, let alone a horse. _

A few minutes and a promise later, Jake gets Charlotte to calm down. Charlotte meanders off to play on some haystacks and Bella and I are now alone with Jake. I can't seem to take my eyes off him, waiting for the shit to hit the fan, waiting for the inevitable to happen.

Jake shifts his eyes around the room, opening his mouth only to close it again.

"What?" I eventually say, getting frustrated of this bullshit.

Another jab from Bella.

"Uhhh, can I talk to Bella for a moment?" he asks.

A jolt of anger runs through me.

I feel Bella slide out from my grasp…and I'm worried she is gonna go off with him.

"Whatever you have to say to me, you can say to me in front of Edward," Bella states, her arms now wrapped around herself.

Jake begins to look even more uncomfortable, it making me happy.

"Uhhh," he starts.

He starts to kick dirt around this his boots.

"I just really wanted to apologize…for everything I did," he says, looking directly at Bella.

"I'm not the only one you should be apologizing to," Bella blurts out.

I can't help but smirk.

_My tough angel. _

Jake then peels his eyes from her, his finally locking with mine.

"I do," he states. "I'm sorry for everything Edward. I'm sorry for all the problems I have caused you. I never meant either of you any harm, truly."

"Then why did you do it?" I spit out, trying to gauge if this is sincere or just bullshit.

"I was jealous…" he states, his answer taking me by surprise.

"Of what?" Bella interrupts.

"I don't know. I'm not gonna lie Bella, I thought we hit it off pretty well the first night we met, hell we almost kissed the second night. I thought…I don't know what I thought."

Bella looks at me quickly, probably waiting for me to hit him. As much as I want to, I now know that will only complicate things.

Bella swallows hard, before speaking.

"I did like you Jake. You were extremely nice to me, and you were there whenever I needed someone to talk to. And I appreciate that, I do. But I never had any _feelings_ for you."

Something in me settles, almost as though I needed to hear that. Everyone falls silent, until Jake speaks again.

"Well, like I said, I just wanted to apologize," he says, then walks past us, heading towards Charlotte.

Bella and I stay frozen, both of us in a state of shock. I jump when I hear my phone start to ring, pulling it out of my back pocket.

"Hello?"

When I realize who it is on the phone, I excuse myself from Bella's presence, walking out of the barn.

0o0o0

After that trip to the fucking funny farm, Bella and I head back home, getting ready to make dinner for everyone.

"So what do you feel like?" Bella says as she stands in front of the open fridge.

Walking over to her, I slide my hand down the back of her pants.

"You know what I want…" I whisper into her ear.

I hear Bella laugh, then turns to face me.

"I thought I was dessert," she says, biting her lip.

Leaning into her, I pull her to me, our bodies flush against each other.

"If it was my choice, I would have you breakfast, lunch, diner, dessert, snack time…"

I see Bella blush, a smile across her face.

"You're too fucking smooth for your own good…" she says, shaking her head.

"I know," I smirk, reaching past her to grab a beer from the open fridge.

Bella peels herself off of me, her attention back on the food. She continues to stare, until I break her concentration.

"Bella, you aren't cooking us dinner."

She turns her head.

"And why not?"

"Because I think we would actually like to _eat _tonight…"

She narrows her eyes, and crosses her arms in a pout.

"Don't give me that. I love you to death, but baby…you can't cook for shit."

Then a large smile comes across her face.

"I know, plus its hot watching you cook."

"Is that so?" I say, flicking up one of my eyebrows.

Bella's hands make their way up the buttons of my shirt, delicately undoing the first one.

"Bella…." I say stopping her. "As much as I want to throw you on the kitchen table and fuck you, our _guests_ will be in shortly."

"How soon?" she winks.

_Fuck. This girl. _

"Don't worry baby, I'll take care of you later," I whisper.

And just like fucking clock work, I hear Emmett's loud ass barge through the door.

"Honey, I'm home!" he calls out.

_Prick._

Pulling myself from Bella, I remain behind the countertop, trying to hide the raging fucking boner I have at the moment. When I see him come around the corner, he immediately darts to Bella, picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder.

"Damn Edward, you need to feed this girl some meat, she's too damn light. I don't think I've even seen a more skinny thing in my life."

_Funny. That's what I've been trying to do. _

"Thanks asshole," I hear a voice from behind me.

I spin around to see Rose leaning against the barstool.

"Emmett! Put me down!" Bella screams.

As soon as he does, Bella runs to Rose, giving her a hug.

"What in the hell are you doing here?" Bella screams.

She shrugs.

"So this is your surprise?" I ask Emmett.

"Nope," he states.

Emmett walks over to the fridge, grabbing 3 beers in each hand, then walks past us all and straight out the back patio.

"Are you gonna fucking share those?" I call out.

"Nope!" he calls back.

_Dick._

Bella and Rose slowly filter out to the patio as well, and I follow behind them, with a tray of steaks. Making my way over to the grill, I fire it up, realizing how long it's been since I had a fucking piece of meat. As I continue to cook, somewhere between Emmett's first and seventh beer, Jackson, Alice and baby Lily show up. And I thought Bella was excited to see Rose. As soon as Bella's eyes landed on Lily, there was no one else in the room.

Walking back inside, I pull the potatoes from the fridge I start to peel them, and then laugh, remembering the first night Bella came to my house. Once I get them peeled, I pop them in the boiling water, and head back outside to turn the steaks.

"Hey man," Jackson says, both of us meeting in the doorway. "You need any help?"

"Nah man, I got it," I say. "But thanks."

"Anytime," he says. "So, did you get everything situated?"

I smirk.

"Yeah, it's all set."

"Awesome man."

My stomach does flip flops.

As I step outside, I stop in my tracks. In front of me is Bella, sitting in one of the chairs around the fire pit, a tiny Lily in her arms. I can't seem to stop looking, it the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

Bella must have felt me staring at her, because she looks up directly at me, and winks.

"I love you," I mouth to her, her repeating it back to me.

When everything is cooked, we all grab a plate, heading back outside around the firepit. As we all sit eating in silence, I notice that Rose abruptly stops eating, a nervous look on her face. I knee Bella, shifting my eyes from her to Rose.

After a few seconds, Bells shrugs, and then resumes eating.

"We're married…" Rose blurts out.

"Babe…." Emmett calls out. "We were gonna tell them together."

"Whatever," Rose says, waving her hand. "I could keep it in any longer."

Now were all not eating.

I turn my attention to Emmett, who is currently downing another beer.

"How…When..." Bella says in a tone of disbelief.

Rose shrugs.

"Umm…Vegas. The night we were all there at the hospital."

I swallow. Hearing about Vegas still gets on my fucking nerves.

"Let's just say we had a few drinks…" Emmett says.

"You…drinking…I would have never guessed," I kid.

"Fuck you man," he says to me winking.

"So….what does that mean?" Alice pipes up.

Rose sits back in her chair.

"We're getting it annulled," she says.

_Shock number 2._

"But…." Alice says, her tone showing obvious disappointment.

"Don't flip out, please," Rose begs. "Were getting it annulled….but we have decided that we are going to date…exclusively."

_Shocker number 3. _

Emmett…dating…and only one person at a time.

_This will be interesting to witness. _

"Wait…so does that mean…." Bella starts to say.

Rose shakes her head.

"Bitch is back in town ladies," Rose says, a smile coming across her face.

All the girls get up from the table, Alice and Bella making their way to Rose, all of them screaming and yelling in excitement.

_Fucking women._

"Jesus Christ, sit the hell down before you make us go fucking deaf…" Emmett calls out.

They all pull themselves together, and Bella makes her way back over, but stops and puts her hand on Emmett's shoulders.

"Good luck with her, she's your problem now," she says to him.

We all laugh, except for Rose.

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?" Rose calls out.

"Oh nothing," Bella snickers, sliding back into her chair.

We all resume eating, everyone still a little shocked from what is going on. When we finish, the girls head back inside, I assume to talk more about the plan or some shit. Grabbing a couple beers off the table, I walk over to Jackson and Emmett, handing them each one.

"Congrats bro," I say, clinking my bottle with his.

"Thanks man," he says as he takes a swig.

"Married…." I mutter out loud, not to anyone in particular.

"Tell me about it," he says.

"So why are you getting it annulled?" Jackson asks.

"I don't know man. I mean we haven't even really officially dated yet. Don't you think that's kind of weird?"

"No, I don't," Jackson states. "Everything happens for a reason."

He takes a swig of his beer as Emmett and I stare at him.

_Jackson and his poetic bullshit. _

When everything falls silent, I turn around to look for my girl. I spot her through the window, her long brown locks cascading down her back.

_Fuck. I want my fingers wrapped in that right now._

Emmett chugs the rest of his beer, slamming the empty bottle on the table.

"Alright," he says, rubbing his palms together. "Since I never had a bachelor party, were going out."

Jackson and I look at each other, knowing exactly what the night will entail.

"Don't you think you've had enough to drink?" I hear Rose say, now noticing the girls are behind us.

"What are you…my wife?" Emmett laughs, obviously only him finding his joke humorous.

Rose rolls her eyes.

"Come on…." Emmett says in a begging tone.

We all look around, everyone knowing that Emmett will get his way…one way or another.

_Maybe Rose is perfect for him._

We all start to filter back inside.

"We'll be right back," Bella says, pinching my ass on the way up the stairs.

**BPOV**

The three…well four of us including baby Lily, of us make it up to Edward's bedroom and immediately walk over to the closet, knowing Edward already hung up all my clothes.

"Oh can I wear this? It's super cute, " Rose says pulling a short cotton dress down from the hanger.

"Sure," I smile, "It's actually yours."

Rose gives it another glance.

"What the hell Bella?" she states.

"You never wore it, so I took it."

I skim the rest of my clothing, happy that Rose talked me into packing some nice clothes for Barcelona.

_Shit. I almost completely forgot. Irina _ _must not be too happy. _

As my fingers skim to the last hanger, I can't seem to stop myself from laughing. Hanging up, is the black v neck dress I wore on mine and Edward's first date. As I pull it down, I look over it, remembering that day.

I turn to Alice.

"Which one do you want to wear?" I ask. "We can swing by your place if you want to change there too…"

"I can't go…" Alice says disappointed. "I don't have a sitter, and I don't think they allow babies at bars."

"Fuck that," Rose says. "Can't you get a babysitter?"

"I don't know if I'm ready for that," Alice says.

"Come on," Rose begs. "Please, my dear sister. It's my bachelorette party. You have to be there."

Rose and I both stick out our bottom lips, waiting for Alice to wallow.

"Fine," Alice says defeated. "If you find me a babysitter, I will go."

Rose and I squeal, then all head in separate directions to get dressed. When we finish and I find my black heels, I shut off the light and head downstairs. As I round the corner to the living room, my eyes catch Edwards.

My heart flutters.

_How after all this time can he still have that effect on me?_

Making my way over to him, I stop as he reaches out for me. Taking his hand, he pulls me close to him.

"My angel," he whispers, the tone of his voice making me blush.

Leaning in, I kiss him softly, his palms grasping my back.

"OK!" Rose shouts, snapping us out of our moment. "We need to find a babysitter. Where the fuck do we get one of those?"

We all laugh.

"Don't worry, I got it. I know someone who owes me a lot of favors." Edward says, pulling his phone from his pocket, then exits the room.

O0o0o

After what seems like forever, we hear the front doorbell ring. Edward jumps up to get it, and moments later returns to the room, Victoria in tow.

"Someone said they need a baby sitter?" Victoria asked. "Sorry I'm late, my shift ran a little longer than expected."

"I….I can't let you watch my baby," Alice says.

She shakes her head.

"That's not what I meant."

We all look at her confused. Victoria laughs lightly.

"I know what you're going through sweetie…and all I can say is it gets easier with time. And I promise you that you're little angel will be right here when you get back."

Alice smiles.

"Thanks. I'm sure you're exhausted. "

"Nothing a cup of coffee can't fix," Victoria smiles.

We all pull ourselves from the couch and make our way to the garage.

"Thanks," I hear Edward say to Victoria.

"Anything for my little bro," she says.

When we all get to the garage, we decide to pile into Emmett's truck, it being the only can that holds six.

"Uh excuse me," Rose says out loud. "Do you really think you are driving?"

Emmett looks at her confused.

"Girl, your fucking nuts if you think I'm letting you drive the Love Machine."

Rose rolls her eyes.

"Just give me the fucking keys. I would not like to add a trip to the hospital to our list of shit to do."

After a few more seconds of hesitation, he hands her his keys.

We all climb in the truck, the ride over consisting of Emmett and Rose yelling at each other about directions and how fast she was going. I can't say I'm shocked when we pull in The Cadillac Ranch's parking lot.

We all pull ourselves from the truck, making our way to the door in the back, it marked "employees only." The inside of the bar is a lot darker than I remember, the place filled with a thick haze of smoke.

"Hey man," a guy behind the counter says, his voice directed to Jackson. "Seems like you brought the whole town with you tonight…"

"Nope, just my family," he says, a huge smile on his face.

"So how's fatherhood treating you?" the same guy asks.

"Ahhh it's fucking awesome," he responds. "Best job ever."

"Sweet, well drinks are on the house tonight in celebration of your new spawn," the man shouts out, looking at all of us. "Nice to see you alive Edward…thought we lost our best whiskey customer" he teases.

I look up at Edward, who is smiling.

"So glad that I would be truly missed here," he jokes.

The man behind the counter excuses himself and resumes helping customers.

"Who was that?" I ask Edward.

"That's Sam, he owns the bar, he's always been a father figure to Jackson and I."

I squeeze Edward's hand, happy to know he at least had someone to look to when he was younger.

"Here," Emmett says, throwing a shot in each of our hands. "Time to toast to my marriage, which may or may not be annulled in a few hours."

We all stand in a circle, waiting for someone to speak first. Then Edward raises his glass higher than us, his lips parting.

"May we have those in our arms that we love in our hearts," he says, than throws it back.

I feel butterflies in my stomach, almost having forgotten how romantic Edward can be. Leaning up, I place a small kiss on his lips, tasting the sweet burn of whiskey off them.

"I love you," he says, his lips moving on mine.

"I love you too Edward, more than I can ever explain."

"OK!" I hear Emmett's voice boom. "Time for some karaoke."

Edward and I pull away from each other.

"I think we'll sit this one out," I say.

"Aww come on Bella Bee, you must…." Emmett whines.

I look over at Edward.

"No. Absolutely not."

Looking back over at Emmett, I smile.

"Rose loves to sing, you know that right?" I joke.

"Bella!" Rose says in an angered tone.

"No," she says, turning to face Emmett, "No."

"Aww come on babe…." He begs.

Rose sighs, and then Emmett grabs her hand, dragging her across the bar, and onto the stage. The rest of us turn our attention back to the bar, everyone moving onto more drinks.

0o0o0o0

As time goes on, I start to become bored, spinning around in my chair. Glancing over at the stage, Emmett and Rose are somewhere on their 4th song, their drink number unknown. I then scan the rest of the room, my eyes lighting up.

Spinning back around, I grab onto Edward's arm.

"Come on," I say.

He looks at me confused. Pulling him off his barstool, I walk to the other side of the bar, stopping at the corral.

"I want you to ride it with me," I smile, my arm pointing to mechanical bull.

Edward shifts his eyes to me, then to the bull, and then a large smile comes across his face.

"Abso-fucking-lutely."

He then leads us forward, nodding to the man that is operating it. When we get in the corral, Edward turns around and lifts me on top of it. Seconds later he throws himself on top, his body sliding in behind me.

My heart begins to race, and I don't know if It's because I'm about to ride this...contraption, or the fact that I can feel the warmth of Edward's body against me.

"Slide your hand into the holster," his voice whispers beside my ear.

I do as I'm told and slide my hand inside the rope, Edward reaching around to tighten it.

Once that is done, I sit there, hearing my heart pounding in my ears.

"Now, when it starts, make sure you hold on tight with your thighs, use your muscles keep yourself vertical."

_Fuck._

I then feel his hand run across my elbow, lifting it in the air.

"Keep your arm up, it will balance you."

I keep my arm up in the air, my heart racing any faster.

"Are you ready?" Edward whispers into my ear.

_To ride you…or the bull?_

The bull jerks forward, and I let out an involuntary scream, it making Edward laugh. With every thrust of the bull, I feel Edward slam into me, and then I feel his forearm wrap around my lower hips, it making me more stable.

As the bull begins to turn and spin, I feel Edward pulling on my body, seeming as though he knows exactly what way it's going to go.

By the time the ride is over my horny meter is through the roof, wanting to fuck Edward right here in front of all these people. When it comes to a complete stop, Edward leans down again.

"You have no idea how much that fucking turned me on."

"Oh, I think I do," I breathe out.

"You're going to have to get down first," he says to me, making me instantly confused, until I finally realize what he is talking about.

"Oh," I say giggling.

I climb down for the bull, my natural high still vibrating throughout my body. Turning around I face Edward, the hard on in his jeans very much noticeable. After a minute of us basically eye fucking, Edward climbs down, but remains very close behind me.

When we reach our group, everyone is pretty much staring at us.

"What?" I say nervously, the fire in my cheeks running hot.

No one says anything, but they don't have to. I can pretty much guess what they are all thinking.

"I need a drink," I say to no one in particular.

Leaning over the bar, I order a Coors Light, the cold liquid feeling good.

0o0o0o

We spend a little more time at the bar before I start to get antsy, my overwhelming desire to be with Edward overtaking.

"Are you ready?" I whisper into Edward's ear.

He takes a mouthful of his beer, his lips tight around the rim.

_Fuck, I want to be that bottle._

I sit there silently, waiting for him to respond. Instead, he leans into me, his tongue tracing the outline of my ear. The warmth on his tongue sends shocks through my body, my toes involuntarily curling inside my heels.

_I'll take that as a yes. _

I bolt upright out of my chair, grabbing Edward's hand and make head straight out the front door and into the balmy night. Edward's hands are immediately around my waist, our lips smashed together.

"Fuck Bella…" Edward breathes out between kisses. "I want to drag you into the ally lift this dress up over your hips…."

My insides clench just at the thought. Running my hands through his hair, I bite on his lower lip.

"I have a surprise for you," I whisper into his ear.

He stops kissing me, and flicks up his eyebrows.

"Is that so?"

I chew on my bottom lip, shaking my head. Edward bolts off of my body, taking my by the hand, throwing his other one up in the air.

"TAXI!" he screams, one coming up within seconds.

_Some people have all the luck._

Edward opens the door for me, still a complete gentleman in this time of lust. I slowly slide myself into the far seat, Edward coming in behind me.

At this point I'm not gonna lie, both of us are feeling the effects of the alcohol, it's probably not helping the massive amount of hornyness we are both experiencing. During the ride home we were both all over each other, surprised that the drive didn't throw our asses out. When we reach Edward's house we both stumble out of the cab, Edward throwing whatever cash he had in his wallet at the time, it probably double what we owed. As soon as I stand up outside the front door, Edward lifts me up and throws me over his shoulder.

For some reason I can't stop giggling like a fucking idiot, Edward eventually joining in, in turn making me laugh harder. When we get inside the house, I see glimpse of Edward's things being tossed, his hat flying across the room, his boots being kicked off.

Reaching down, I grab Edward's ass, it being the only thing I can reach at the moment. Edward starts to make his way up the stairs, me still in tow.

I have a flash back, remembering the first time he took me to his bedroom, a giggle escaping me.

"Something funny up there Ms. Swan?" Edward inquires.

"Nope," I say, stopping myself.

We make it into the bedroom and Edward stops halfway into it. His arm falls on my back and he slowly lowers me, but stops so that our faces are level.

"I love you so fucking much…" he says, his tone changing from light to serious. "You are my life."

I stare at him, his emerald eyes full of life.

"I love you too Edward. No one can ever love you as much as I do."

Our playful mood vanishes, a more serious one taking its place. Edward's strong palms begin to massage the back of my thighs, his finger tips lifting up the hem of my dress slightly.

"As much as the dress brings back fucking amazing memories, I want you out of it," he demands.

_Another clench._

"Well, that's part of your surprise," I say to him, his face lighting up. "I'll be right back."

Pulling myself from him, I slip into the closet, shutting the door behind me. Walking over to my suitcase, I pull out the thing I was looking for. Holding onto it I smile, remembering how I thought Edward would never get to see me in this, my heart aching a little bit remembering that day. And how stupid I was.

Slipping out of my dress, I slide the corset on, happy to know that it snaps in the front. Walking over to the mirror, I look at myself.

_Fuck, I look hot._

Deciding to keep on my heels, I give my hair a one last fluff before shutting off the light, pulling to closet door open. I notice that the room is now dark, a single candle lit on the nightstand. I make out Edward on the beside, his shirt now off. I start to make my way over to him, until he leans over, flicking on the nightstand lamp.

"Fuck Bella," he breathes out, his eyes looking up and down. "I don't think I can survive another brush with death," he smiles.

Biting on my lower lip, I look up at him. He gets up off the bed, making his way to me in a flash.

"Do you like it?" I ask quietly.

"Like it?" he says.

He takes my hand, placing it on top of his rock hard cock.

"I more than like it Bella. My dick is about to fucking bust through my jeans."

I can feel my cheeks flush, my insides ready. Putting my hand on Edward's chest, I walk us forwards until we reach the bed, and I push him, making him fall into the mattress.

As I stand there, Edward and I stare at each other, the moment becoming intense. Edwards arms come up to my hips, his thumbs dipping underneath the seam of my panties. He goes further, his fingertips grazing my lips, my wetness becoming greater with his every touch. I then begin to climb up the bed, throwing my leg on each side of him, my thighs straddling his crotch.

I can see Edward's chest rising and falling, me clearly having as much of an effect on him as he does me. I glance down at the tattoo, it making my heart race even more. Edward must have noticed me looking at it because his face becomes serious, his eyes shifting to it.

"You were always with me this way…" he says.

My heart aches, realizing how much pain I cause him….how much pain I caused _us. _

Leaning down, I slam my lips to his, almost trying to erase the memories from my mind. Edward responds to my kiss, his hands back on my hips, them forcefully grinding my hips into his. After a while I can't take it anymore, wanting….needing…for him to be inside me. For him to fill me.

I start to kick off my heels, my hands finding the button on his jeans. And in one swift motion, I lean up, Edward sliding is jeans and boxers to the floor. When I start to come back down, Edward shifts my panties to the slide and I slide down onto his hard cock, a gasp leaving me.

"Fuck…" I moan out, my body adjusting to his size.

I start to hear Edward moan, it obviously feeling as good for him as I do. Rocking my hips back and forth, the pleasure is so great I almost think I am going to come. With each thrust I quicken my speed; Edward's heavy breaths matching mine.

He then leans up, his mouth reaching mine, our kiss heavy. Edward's sweet tongue wraps around mine, traveling all around my mouth. He pulls back after a while.

"Get up, and put your hands the wall…" Edward commands.

I look at him, knowing that only listening to him will make this better. Sliding off of him, I strut over to the open wall and face it….and wait.

Seconds later I feel Edward's hands on my arm, him silently telling me to put my hands up against it. My heart is now fluttering at a pace I didn't know was possible. I then feel his hot mouth on my shoulder blades, his kisses soft. His hands than trail down my back, his fingers feeling the fabric of the corset. They then reach in between my thighs, his fingers expanding so that I am forced to spread them.

"Bend over a little," he orders.

I continue to do as I'm told and I stick my ass out a little. As I stand there, I wait…waiting for him to enter. As just like that, Edward teases the end of his cock at my opening, and I swear I almost start to beg.

He then thrusts it in, the new position totally feeling different then the last. His hands find themselves in my hair and he starts to pump, the tip of his dick pulsating against my G spot. My hands start to ball against the wall, the pleasure increasing.

"Jesus Christ Bella," I hear Edward say, his breathing heavy.

I start to moan loudly, Edward thrusting harder every time I do it.

After a few more minutes, I can't hold on anymore, feeling myself coming close to the edge.

And just like that, my orgasm comes crashing through me. I can't seem to hold in the screams and moans, my fist slam repeatedly into the wall. In between my moans, I can make out Edward's, knowing that he has come as well.

When we both come down from our orgasm highs, Edward slowly slides his cock out of me, and we both instantly crumble to the floor, both our body's hot and sticky.

We remain silent, both of us completely exhausted.

When I finally catch my breath, I flip over so that I can lay my head onto Edward's chest. Shifting my head so that I can look at him, he gives me a huge grin.

"I can't fucking wait to do that with you for the rest of my life."

* * *

**A/N: So after this chapter there will be one more and then the epilogue! Can't believe its coming to a close! **

**Down the road I might do a couple outtakes (like one of Edward getting his tattoo...etc.)**

**The next chapter might not be published for a couple weeks considering I am going to be moving on the 23rd, but we'll see! **


	30. Chapter 30 Outtake  He Can't Quit Her

**Hello everyone! **

**So, I have been SUPER busy and haven't had anytime to write. Here is an OUTTAKE I wrote a few months back for the Tsunami Charity. If you didn't get the compilation this will be new to you, if you have already read it...I'm sorry. **

** I am moving this week so I'm guessing a PL update wont be coming for about two weeks...**

**This OUTTAKE takes place wayyyy back when Bella runs off with Jake after the rodeo *tisk tisk***

**Hope you all enjoy! **

* * *

I think I have hit my limit on the amount of pain that I feel. Both physical and emotional.

I stand here, unable to react as Bella repeatedly kicks me in the shines. I am motionless. I can't seem to make myself react, or care. It's better this way, now she doesn't have to be a part of my fucked up life. I look down at Bella as she screams at me, but I can't seem to make out what she is saying, my head is in a fog. Emmett is holding onto her, but she fights hard. I can now see that her body is vibrating with anger, a look of threatening tears in her eyes. I feel a small twinge in my heart, something I haven't felt for another woman since my mother. And that scares the shit out of me.

She screams at Emmett to let her go.

"Goodbye Edward," she whispers, then swivels on her heels and leaves.

I know that this is the last time I will ever see her. I stare at the doorway she just departed through, hoping that this was all a nightmare, but no figure reappears. She was the first woman I had bared my soul to, the first woman which I laid all the cards on the table for. And right about now I'm really regretting that fucking decision. I shift my eyes to my fellow riders, all of them staring in the direction of the show that I apparently just put on.

"Feisty," Jared says laughing. "I like that."

"Fuck you Jared," I say, making my way out the room, Emmett following.

I walk down the hallway, feeling Emmett close on my heels.

"I don't want to hear it," I snap without him even saying anything.

We make it into another room, glad to see that there is no one in it. I sit down in a metal foldout chair, slumping down it in. I sigh heavily, placing my face in my palms. Emmett sits beside, remaining quiet.

A few seconds later, I bolt out of my chair, running out the back doors of the stadium. My eyes scan the dark parking lot, hoping to see her small figure somewhere. I hear a familiar murmur of an engine, shifting my eyes in its general direction. And that's when I see her.

Bella is riding in the passenger seat of Jake's Jeep. The last motherfucking place I want her to be. Bella's eyes shift over to me, a content look on her face. I stand on the corner of the curb, watching the taillights glow in the distance.

_Fine, good fucking riddance. _

I turn on my heels, throwing the back door open again so hard I can hear the plaster crack. I storm back down the hallway, trying to get myself back into the room before I completely fucking lose it. When I do I slam the door shut with my back. I sit there leaning against the door, my fists involuntary clenching.

"Dude, what the fuck is going on?" I hear Emmett say.

_Fuck. I forgot he was here. Sneaky bastard._

"Bella….Jacob…." That was all that I could blurt out.

_Bella. Jacob. Bella. Jacob. _

I push off the door, and dash towards the table in the far corner. I pick up the numerous water glasses, slamming them each into the opposing wall.

Emmett bolts out of his chair and I instantly feel his arm on my shoulder.

"Dude, she's not worth it."

_But she is._

"Just leave me the fuck alone," I scold.

A few seconds later, I hear the door open then slam again. Shit. I reach into my back pocket pulling out a small metal flask. I unwrap the top of it, and toss it back letting most of it guzzle down my throat. The alcohol burns immensely, but at the moment I welcome it. It lets me know that I can feel some sort of pain.

When the flask is empty I throw it against the wall, making my way back out to the hallway. Not 5 seconds later, I run into Jackson.

"For the love of Christ," I breathe out. "You two are fucking everywhere."

I brush past him, knocking him in the shoulder as I go by. I start to sprint down the hallway, heading back out the back door. The hot air is stifling, and the speedy intake of alcohol in my system not helping. I pull out my keys, unlocking the truck. I slide into the driver seat, too numb to even give a fuck about the fact that I should definitely not be driving. I throw the Raptor in reverse, and then make it out to the main road. Leaning over, I pull a pack of cigarettes from my glove compartment. I start to hear a faint buzz in my ears. As I go to lean back up, I am blinded by a bright light. It takes my brain what seems like forever to put two and two together. My heart begins to race as I realize those two lights are attached to a hood, which is attached to a large Peterbilt Semi. I grip the steering wheel, swerving the Raptor to the right. I miss the truck by mere inches. Slamming the brakes on, I swerve onto the shoulder, kicking up a lot of dirt in the process. An immense feeling of nausea overwhelms me. I sit there gasping for breath; my hands are still wrapped white knuckled around the steering wheel.

_I am a fucking mess._

When my heart beat gets back to a normal speed, I put the truck back in drive, pulling out from the shoulder slowly. I reach over carefully, flicking on the radio, hoping some tunes will keep me alert. Seconds later, a familiar guitar strum comes on,

"_She was cool, she was hot, she was smokin' a lot  
At the end of the bar  
She had more than one too many buttons undone  
On that blouse she wore  
Starin' too long at her lost in that Skynyrd song  
Was his first mistake  
And when she shot him that, "Boy you dont want none of this" look  
It was way too late_

I start to sing along, the adrenaline rush begins to subside and my temper is flaring again.

_She's like a needle to a junky, she's like whiskey to a drunk  
she's like poker to a gambler, she's like a bullet in a gun  
She's in his blood, he can't explain the rush  
When he gets with her  
Might be the death of him, but he's addicted, man  
He can't quit her_

_Well, she'd come to his house and he'd tell her  
She belonged just with him  
She'd get up and she'd get dressed, take five hundred  
No less, and then leave again  
He said, "Baby, I'll take care of you, can't stand the thought  
Of sharin' you, with them other guys."  
She laughed and said, "Well, maybe you shouldn't call me no more then baby."  
And he didn't, that first night_

_She's in his blood, he can't explain the rush_  
_When he gets with her_  
_Might be the death of him, but he's addicted, man_  
_He can't quit her_

After the song finishes I turn off the radio, having my fill of music already. I pull up to my favorite spot, pulling myself from the cab, but not before grabbing the bottle of Jack Daniels from underneath my seat. I know it's illegal to drive around with an open bottle of liquor in your car, but it's not like I couldn't talk my way out of anything when it came to cops around here. With my bottle in one hand, I make my way to the cliff's edge. I unscrew the cap, throwing the bottle back and consuming as much as my mouth will allow. I stand there, my toes hanging off the edge. Closing my eyes, I replay every scene from tonight. The vision of her face behind the car window plays over and over, creating tears in my heart, a feeling I haven't had since the death of my mother.

I lean forward, my feet shifting the loose dirt at the edge.

_Would anyone even care? I bet not. _

I close my eyes, feeling the wind move around my body, the light sound of ruffled trees in the background. As soon as my eyelids shut, all I can see is….her.

I hear my name escape her lips softly. Beckoning me. Calling me. I snap my eyes open, whipping around to look behind me. I am disappointed when I don't see her figure behind me.

_Fuck. She's haunting me like a ghost now._

I've had my fill of this place, so I get back in my truck, pulling out onto the road again. I keep my speed low, making sure I don't draw attention to myself or cross the path of an more semis. Fifteen minutes later, I find myself parked down the road from Tanya's house. My liquid stupidity finally urges me out of the car. I walk over to the side yard, being as quiet as possible. Reaching my hand over the gate, I unlatch it.

_Fuck. I hope they don't have some big ass dog that going to rip my fucking face off. Oh well, if they do it will only add to this fucking awesome night._

I hear the gate creek loudly. I immediately stop in my tracks, laying down army style. When the coast is clear, I get back up and continue walking. When I reach the back, I wrap my fingers around the trellis, pulling myself up, but find it difficult.

_Fuck dude, lay off the Coke's. _

After what seems like a marathon workout, I reach the window. I stand there for a second, the alcohol making me laugh like a fucking idiot. I rap on the window, waiting for her to answer.

One minute passes. Then two. Then five.

_She's still with the fucking asshole. Probably fucking his brains out._

I begin to climb back down hastily, not caring how much noise I make now, my temper is soaring through the fucking roof.

As soon as I set one foot on the concrete, I hear a throat clear behind me.

_Fuck me._

I turn around slowly, hoping to meet those beautiful brown eyes. I do meet a pair, but they are just not the pair I was hoping for.

"What are you doing?" Alice asks giggling.

I look up at the trellis.

"Just checking to make sure you're rain gutters were free of leaves and shit," I say back, my grin matching hers.

"Well thanks for that…I'm sure Tanya appreciates it," she says, then pauses. "You know she isn't home right?"

"I think I gathered that…." I whisper in a condescending tone.

We stand there looking at each other, the situation becoming incredibly awkward.

"Well, I better get going…" I say as I start to walk past her.

_Fucking smooth Masen._

"You know she likes you right," Alice calls out.

I stop dead in my tracks.

"And never in a million years would she sleep with Jake," she adds.

_Is she a fucking mind reader?_

I turn back around.

"I really fucked up," I say, looking down at my feet.

"Yeah…you did," she says.

I snap my head up, seeing the large grin on her face. She starts walking towards me.

"Talk to her," she says, staring at me. "Tell her everything."

I look down at the small petite girl in front of me. How does she know so much?

I smile, silently getting what she is telling me. I go to turn around, when I feel her delicate fingers grab onto my arm.

"You're nuts if you think I'm letting you get behind the wheel. You're damn lucky you didn't get yourself or someone else killed on your way here. You can sleep on the couch," she says as she heads back inside.

I stand there for a while, until I decide she's right. A few minutes later Alice comes back with a pillow and blanket, holding them out for me to take.

"Thanks," I say, taking the things from her delicately.

"No problem," she responds. "Well…night!" she says excitedly.

She starts to walk away, but then turns back. "Oh, and you probably should be gone before Rose wakes up."

I see her disappear from my sight.

_Rose. How can twins be so fucking different? _

I lay down on the coach, pulling the pillow behind my head. My eyelids become heavy, my body not being able to hold on anymore.

The next thing I hear is creaking, the sound of a familiar voice. My eyes shoot open, now realizing its morning. I bolt from the couch, making it to the front door in seconds. I climb into the Raptor, starting it up. The drive back to my house is long, seeming as though it will never end. When I get there, I walk immediately into the kitchen, pulling out the Advil. I grab a glass from the cupboard, walking over the sink to fill it. When I look down at the sink, I see the dirty dishes from our dinner last night. Usually I would have done them immediately after the meal if it weren't for Bella being here. And just like that, something inside me snaps.

_I want her. I need her. _


	31. Chapter 31 Everything

**Hello everyone!**

**Sorry it has been so long since my last update, life has been crazy!**

**So...here we are. Last chapter of Perfectly Lonely, I wont say my complete goodbye right now since we still have the epilogue, but I just want to say THANK YOU to everyone reading and reviewing. I can not express my gratitude to you all! As someone who thought they could never do this, your kindness has humbled me.**

**Thanks to my AMAZING beta, Nicole. Girl, you are nothing short of amazing!**

**MOST importantly, I want to dedicate this final chapter to one of my amazing friends TwiRK_World and I hope that you have an amazing birthday today, and this is my present to you. All little Chapward..with no Jake :)  
**

* * *

_You're a carousel, you're a wishing well, _  
_ And you light me up, when you ring my bell._  
_ You're a mystery, you're from outer space, _  
_ You're every minute of my everyday._

_ And I can't believe, uh that I'm your man, _  
_ And I get to kiss you baby just because I can._  
_ Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through, _  
_ And you know that's what our love can do._

_And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times  
It's you, it's you, You make me sing  
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.  
_

_Everything ~ Michael Buble_

* * *

**BPOV**

Stretching out my arm and legs, I yawn, not wanting it to be the morning already. It's been two months since I came back from Vegas with Edward. He has finally recovered from his bruised ribs and for once, I feel things are…._normal. _

About a week after Rose and Emmett announced their marriage, we got rid of the apartment in Seattle. Of course Edward being Edward, he hired someone to ship all my belongings to me. Seeing the look on his face when he saw Bree was priceless. She was a little…bigger than he remembered.

Shifting my hand around the bed, I feel the cold sheets on my fingertips, confirming that Edward is no longer in the bed with me. Lifting my head up, I scan the room, my cowboy nowhere to be found. Lifting the comforter off my knees I start to get up, startling Bree, and she starts to growl.

"Shhh…." I say, trying to calm her, not wanting to hear her loud barking at 6am.

Walking over to the dresser, I pull Edward's grey sweatpants on, rolling them up a few times.I peer out the window, a familiar glow coming from inside the barn. I smile to myself.

_Everything is just how it should be._

Sliding on a random pair of flip flops that I find shoved in the corner of the room, I make my way downstairs, Bree already at the back door.

"No harassing the horses," I tell her, considering how much she has taken a liking to doing just that.

Pulling open the door, I am hit with a wave of frigid air. Wrapping my arms around me, I make my way to Edward. Bree runs off ahead of me, my eyes losing her in the dark. When I make it to the barn door, I pull it open, the heaviness making it a difficult task. When I step inside, I hear no noises other than a few neighs from the horses.

My heart starts to race as I pass each stall, my eyes not finding what they're looking for.

_Where the fuck are you?_

When I get to the last stall, I turn around, threat of tears pricking at my since we came home, I've been a little overprotective. The idea of him being hurt again exceeds what my mind is capable of dealing with. I don't like him out here working all alone…

_For fuck sake where is he?_

Making my way back down the hallway, I walk into the tack room, Edward's not there either. I then see an unfamiliar door open on the side of the barn, the door swings in the wind. Stepping towards it, I enter, looking around me, realizing I am now in the side pastures.

And that's when I see him.

Edward is sitting atop the wooden fence, his head turned upward towards the still glowing stars. Instead of making my way towards him, I remain planted, watching him. Every moment since I met him flashes through my mind. It amazes me how much we have both grown, together and separate. After about thirty seconds, Edward shifts around, sensing me somehow. .

I smile back at him.. Walking towards him, he holds out his hand, pulling me up the length of fence. Sitting next to him, we both remain silent, his arm now wrapped around me, in a protective manner.

As we continue to sit there, his fingers start rubbing my back, his touch still sending waves through my body. The quiet calm is actually peaceful, something I think we have both been longing for, for a long time He then finally breaks the silence.

"Never in my wildest dreams…." he states.

I look over at him confused, thinking he must have finally gone off the edge.

He looks down at me, his hand now removed from my back, his fingertips under my chin.

"Never in my wildest dreams…" he repeats.

I can feel myself blush, now knowing what he means.

"I will never get tired of seeing that," he smiles, his finger brushing over my cheek."I love you Bella."

"I love you too Edward, more than I can ever explain."

He jumps down from the fence and sets himself between my legs. Leaning down, I put my lips onto his, feeling his hot breath on me. My hands find the back of his head, my fingers intertwined in his hair, which is long enough to grab. When I do, I hear him moan in my mouth, the sound sending me into a frenzy. After a few seconds we both withdraw, our breathing fast.

"I need to get down from here, I think my ass is officially asleep," I say.

Instead of backing up, Edward turns his back to me.

"It's muddy," he states.

I smile, leaping off the fence and onto him, my arms around his neck. I can feel the ground slipping underneath us as we make it back up to the house. Edward calls for Bree, who pops out of the cluster of tree's nearby. When we reach the back porch, Edward sets me down softly.

"I think a shower is in order," he smiles.

I bite my lip, and nod my head. Edward then sits in the chair by the back door, pulling off his muddy boots and setting them side by side.

I giggle out loud slightly, his OCD tendencies still amuse me. Edward looks up, his eyebrow perked. I swiftly turn around, opening the door and entering inside.

But then Bree dashes near me at the speed of the bullet, a trail of mud behind her. Edward flies out of the chair, but is too late. When we both make it to the living room, the floor is covered in muddy pawprints.

I stand there in shock, my eyes now glued on Edward. Waiting.

"For fuck sake," he mutters, grabbing Bree the collar and leading her back out the back door. When he shuts the door, he turns around, a smile on his face.

"I knew things were going too good," he says, leaning down and giving me a kiss. "Why don't you head to the shower and I'll clean up down here."

"Ok," I say, knowing Edward prefers to do it his way. "I'll be waiting," I whisper.

He gives me a wink, and then smacks my ass.

"Nice outfit by the way," he smirks.

"Thanks," I say looking down. "You know I'm always trying to get into your pants."

He laughs, shaking his head. Heading up the stairs, I strip out of my clothes, immediately heading to the bathroom. Turning on the shower, I immediately jump in, the bathroom bitterly cold. Standing under the stream, I start washing my hair. Then my body. Then I decide to shave my legs.

When I finish, I start to wonder where in the fuck is Edward. I have to have been in here for at least 30 minutes, purposefully dragging things out in hopes he'd finish and join me.

_Maybe he is just REALLY cleaning things good._

Looking down, I notice that my fingertips are pruney so I reach over, turning off the water. Stepping from the shower, I wrap myself in a towel to ward off the chill. Walking out to the bedroom, I listen for any signs of Edward, but the house is dead silent. Figuring he must have found something else to do, I finish drying myself off, and get dressed.

Throwing my hair up in a ponytail, I leave the bedroom, and go in search of my Mr. Clean.

When I reach the bottom of the stairs, I don't find Bree anywhere, having an odd sense of déjà vu. But seconds later I hear a car door slam so I jog over to the garage door, pulling it open. And that's when I see Edward..his head inside the cab of his truck.

Walking up to him, he notices me, and stands upright quickly. Almost a little too quickly.

"Hey," he says, the tone of his voice almost nervous.

"Hey….I thought you were coming upstairs?"

"Umm yeah, I got distracted," he responds, his tone still the same.

"Oh," I say.

"So, why don't you come take a ride with me," he says.

I look up at him confused and a little alarmed now by his odd behavior. He just rolls his eyes at me.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to murder you Bella. You might even have fun," he laughs.

He places his hand on my back, leading me to the passenger side of the truck, pulling the door open for me. As I slide into the seat, Edward pulls down the seatbelt, sliding it across my torso and buckling it in.

Before he stands back up, he places a very delicate kiss on my lips.

"I love you Bella."

_What is this boy up to? _

I see him run back in the house and he is gone for a few minutes. When he comes back, I see that my purse is in his hands.

"Thought you might need this," he says as he slides in to the truck.

"And what do I need it for?" I ask, hoping to pry information from him.

"That's for me to know and you to find out," he says, a smile on his face.

_Smug bastard._

We pull out of the driveway, making our way north. I stare at Edward intently the whole time, hoping he'll crack and tell me.

"You have the patience of a two year old," Edward says when he notices me giving him the puppy dog eyes.

"What if I told you I hate surprises," I say.

"No woman hates surprises…" he responds.

Giving up, I lean back in my chair, staring at the window.

And then I see it, the bright lights of the airport. My heart quickens. Sitting up in the chair, I snap my head back and forth from Edward to the airport.

"Are we…." I begin to ask.

Edward's grin widens.

"Glove box…." he states.

I furiously grab the handle flinging it open.

On top of its contents lies an envelope, the words US Airways on the front.I pull out its contents.

In my hands, are two first class tickets.I look closer, noticing the destination.

_Barcelona._

A lump in my throat forms, tears of joy want to fall. Edward pulls into a parking spot, turning off the truck. I remain speechless, just staring at the tickets. I never told him about Barcelona.

Edward turns to face me.

"I don't want you to miss out on life because of my mistakes Bella," he says softly.

"How did…you know?" I ask.

He smiles.

"I think Emmett may have mentioned it."

_Damnit._

"Why didn't you tell me?" he adds.

"Because I knew that you would have this reaction."

He shifts in his chair.

"And what reaction is that?"

"Edward, when I got the call that you were in the hospital, I knew at that second that Barcelona was out of the question."

I see a worried look come across his face.

"I don't deserve you."

I let out a big sigh. Scooting closer to him, but glaring at him at the same time.

"How many times am I going to have to tell you…I love you Edward. There is nowhere else I would rather be than with you."

Leaning in, I place my lips on his, our hot breath intertwining. Our kissing quickly becomes more passionate, Edward's hand trailing up my abdomen, his fingertips playing on the underwire of my bra.

Lost in my happy place, Edward whispers something into my ear.

"Were going to miss our plane Miss Swan."

Secretly cursing in my head, I pull back, Edward exiting the truck. He quickly walks over to my side, holding the door open for me. I slide myself out of the truck, grabbing my purse off the dash.

Then it hits me.

"Wait! I don't have any clothes!" I shout.

Edward smiles. He reaches into the bed of the truck, pulling out a large polka dot suitcase. I look up at him, smirking.

"Uhhh….Alice picked it out," he says, leaning down and ripping the price tags off of it, throwing them into the bed of the truck.

I think back to this morning, remembering that all my everyday clothes were still in my old suitcase.

_Oh no. _

"May I ask what's inside that?"

Edward shrugs.

"Let me guess….Alice."

He gives me a wink.

_Great._

I know exactly what that suitcase is going to be filled with.

"That was a big mistake," I joke.

"Tell me about it, I'm pretty sure my credit card was on fire when she brought it back."

Walking towards him, I wrap my arms around his neck.

"I'm pretty sure I'm the one who doesn't deserve _you."_

Shaking his head, he laughs, and then grabs both our suitcases, locking the truck.

O0o0o0

_Remind myself to bring sleeping pills on my next 14 hour flight. Oh…and a decent pillow. _

I feel Edward's hand run through my hair, waking me from the little amount of sleep I have gotten.

"Mmmm go away…" I say, swatting his hand away.

I hear him laugh.

"We're here Bella."

Bolting upright in my chair, I look out the window, it's completely dark, almost forgetting about the time change. The lights of the city are glowing, making the blackened sky have a light orange hue over the mountain tops.

Edward and I filter off the plane, the airport quiet and deserted. When we make it out of the terminal, Edward approaches a middle aged man in a suit.

"Mr. Masen," the man says in a thick accent.

Edward nods. The man looks towards me.

"Evening Mrs. Masen," he says, a light smile on his face.

My heart races just hearing those words come from his lips, and I can't seem to muster the words to correct him.

But Edward does.

"Miss Swan."

"Ahh, my apologies sir," the gentleman says, then grabs the suitcases from Edward. "Please follow me."

Edward throws his arm around me, and leads us behind the man. When we reach the outside, the weather is comfortably warm. Looking up at the sky, it looks like it's been dusted with millions of diamonds. I get lost in the moment, realizing now that I am _really _in Barcelona. And with Edward none the less. It like two dreams converging.

Edward pulls me back. I look over at him, his figure now leaning against a sleek black car. I'm pretty sure my heart skips a couple beats.

_Nothing but the best from Edward._

I march over to him, but instead of slipping inside the door, I push myself onto him, our lips finding each other's quickly. Lost in our kiss, I feel the eyes of people on me, so I pull back.

"Why did you stop?" he pouts.

I can feel myself blush.

"People are watching."

Edward looks from side to side.

"What people?"

"Well, our driver for one thing," I say, nodding towards the front seat.

"He's being paid, I doubt he is sitting there watching us make out."

I smile, the word _make out_ sounding so juvenile.

"Well let's get going," Edward says. "We can catch a few hours of sleep and get used to the time difference."

I turn around to slide in the car, and in the process Edward pinches my ass. Turning around, I try to look angry, but the look on his face just makes me laugh.

"Faster Mrs. Masen," he kids.

_Thump._

Sliding myself into the seat, I run my hands along the cool black leather and I start feeling giddy to see what our hotel looks like. As we pull out of the airport, the ride seems extremely long, the lights on the inner city getting smaller and smaller. Just as I feel myself start to get tired again, the car pulls into a long driveway. We whip around corners, each turn making us climb higher up the mountain. After what seems like eternity, we reach a wide open area, the driver pulling up to the front door.

Instead of Edward by my door, the driver opens it, ushering me out.

"Thank you," I mutter to him.

Spinning around, I look up at the….house….in front of me.

"Edward, it's huge."

He turns around to look at it as well.

"Mine's bigger…" he says, a smirk on his face.

_Boys and size._

Our driver opens the trunk, pulling our suitcases out and walks them over to the front porch. At that moment, I see someone standing in the front door. I adjust my eyes, seeing a female form making its way towards us. A beautiful…tall woman. I don't know if it was out of jealousy, but something flings me forward, my hand intertwining with Edward's. He notices, looking down at me with a smile.

"You are way more beautiful," he side whispers to me.

My wave of heat flows through me.

"Good evening Mr. Masen," the figure says, her hand out reaching to Edward. "I'm Renata."

_Of course she has to have a fucking exotic name._

Edward's hand slips from mine, my heart dropping.

_Don't be ridiculous Bella._

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Edward says, his eyes shifting from her to me. "I'd like you to meet my girlfriend Isabella."

I look up at him. Only my mother calls me Isabella. Did he just read my mind about the exotic name thing?

"It's very nice to meet you," Renata says, her accent even more thick than the drivers.

"You too," I say quietly.

"Well, if you would please follow me I can go over the house."

"Please," Edward says, ushering her to go ahead.

I zoom past Edward, effectively blocking the view of Renata's ass from his line of sight. I can hear Edward laugh behind me.

_I'm jealous. Sue me._

I watch her walk up the large ceramic steps up to the front door, her outfit meticulous, her heels at least 6 inches high. When we reach the front door, she turns around giving me a warming smile.

_Bitch, I'm trying to hate you._

Edward comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around me.

The house is beyond beautiful. Renata gives us a small tour, pointing out the thousands of features, most of them I already can't remember.

Our last stop is the balcony, and really, the tour could have started and ended here.

I walk over to the railing, the view literally taking my breath away. A faint smell of salt hits my nose, and I peer off to the left, seeing waves break against the sand. I do a little inner dance.

"And this is the terrace, complete with Infinity pool and spa," I hear Renata say in the background, although I am not particularly paying attention anymore.

Edward walks up to my side, also taking in the view. We both remain silent.

"Well, if there is nothing else I can do for you," Renata says, "I will leave you."

We both turn around to face her, Edward holding his hand out.

"Thank you," he says.

"You're very welcome," she responds. "And here is my card, if you need anything please don't hesitate to ask.

Edward nods.

And soon enough, Edward and I are alone.

After a few more minutes of taking in the view, we both reluctantly return inside.

"This place is huge Edward," I say looking around. "Like 12 people could live here."

"So, this one was perfect. It took a lot of hours of maneuvering for me to get it."

I take a step towards him so our chests are flush.

"Mr. Edward Masen, the bull riding champion had a hard time getting something. That can't be," I kid.

Edward shakes his head back and forth, a sheepish grin on his before I know it I am being lifted in the air, my body thrown over his shoulder. When we make it upstairs, Edward sets me down, immediately placing a kiss on my lips.

"I love you Bella, and the most beautiful view is the one I share with you."

_Is someone cutting onions in this room__?_

"I love you too," I choke out.

Moments later, despite all the excitement, I can't help but let out a huge yawn.

"Come on, let's get some shut eye."

I pout my lip.

"But we just got here."

Edward looks over at the clock on the wall.

"It's 3am. Let's at least get a few hours first, and then we can start refreshed."

"Did you just say refreshed?" I laugh.

"Shut up," he says as he starts to pull off his shoes.

"Uhh," I start to say, looking around the room, locating my suitcase. "I'm just going to need a few girl minutes."

"Sure," Edward says, walking over and grabs my bag, setting it in the bathroom for me.

"Thanks," I say, shutting the door as he leaves.

I unzip the suitcase, flinging the top back.

_Just what I expected._

The thing is jammed packed, full of so much material I can't make out a single item. As I start to pull them out, I see lots of lace, silk…and feathers.

_'t she know I actually have to WEAR clothes in public?_

As I dig deeper, I start to find actual clothes. Well if you call dresses actual clothes. Before I know it, the suitcase is empty, every article of clothing on the floor.

"Shit," I mutter to myself.

When I go to close the lid again, I feel its heaviness. Pulling on random zippers, I open a new compartment, a t-shirt and jeans neatly folded in its place. There is a small note on top. Sliding my fingers between the folds of the pages, I open it.

_If you are reading this, it means you have found the jeans and t-shirt. _

_As your adopted sister, I advise that you not wear them. _

_Btw, wear the blue one instead._

I flip over the page, the backside blank.

_The blue one?_

I shake my head, Alice saying strange shit is nothing new.

Undressing, I ignore her advice and pull the t shirt over my head. Finding a brush, I run it through my hair a few times. Placing the brush back on the countertop, I turn to leave the bathroom. But quickly turn around, grabbing the new lip gloss I found in my toiletries bag, and apply a few coats.

Doing one last shimmy, I reach for the door, and step through it. Isashay around the door, my eyes falling upon Edward.

Who is dead asleep.

Giggling to myself, I walk over to the other side of the bed, sliding in next to him, sleep finding me fast too.

00o0o00

When I wake up, I am happy to see that Edward is still beside me, his right arm across my chest. He must have felt me shift because his eye open slowly, his hair in a glorious mess.

"Morning," he says, his grip on me tightens.

"Hey," I say stretching outward.

We fall silent, until my stomach grumbles loudly. Edward leans his head up off the pillow.

"Food's downstairs, I'll meet you downstairs in a few minutes."

I roll out of the bed, and run downstairs, in dire need of some nourishment. When I reach the bottom step, my body slams into a mass, knocking me backwards.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," I hear a female voice purr.

Looking up, I see the last person I wish was in this house.

_Renata._

She helps me up, and it's now that I realize I'm still in nothing but a t-shirt and boyshorts. I gasp, then bolt back upstairs, charging back through the bedroom door. Edward notices my distress, and is quick to my side.

"Bella? What's wrong?"

Trying to catch my breath from jaunt up the stairs, I mutter her name, Edward beginning to laugh.

"What's so funny?" I spit.

"I've never seen you in this much frenzy over a woman I have no interest in. What is this all about?"

I take a deep breath.

"I don't know," I admit. "Something about her rubs me the wrong way."

We both pause.

"Wait, why is she here?" I inquire.

"She's dropping off something that I requested."

Edward finishes getting dressed.

"Should I get dressed? Is she staying long?"

Edward laughs.

"No, I'll be right back."

He leaves the room before I can protest that he isn't wearing a shirt. Before I have time to work up a frenzy, he calls me from the bottom of the stairs. Peering my head out, I see him standing at the bottom.

"The witch is gone," he jokes.

I stick my tongue out at him. When I make it back to the kitchen, I finally get to see what I originally came down here for. On top of the massive table are platters off food, spanning from pastries to fruit. I think my stomach grumbles in agreement.

"Do you want to eat here…or outside?" Edward asks as he hands me a plate full of food.

"Outside," I say without hesitation.

Pulling open the double windows, I walk over to the outside table, plopping down. Waving my fingers over my plate, I reach down and grab a cheesy pastry thing, putting it in my mouth.

_Sweet heaven._

Few seconds later, Edward comes over, sitting down next to me.

"Here, try this," I say, smashing the pastry into his mouth.

He laughs lightly.

"SO good," I say, picking up a piece of fruit, shoving it in my mouth.

"I've never seen you so….hungry."

I stop chewing, suddenly aware of how crazy I look.

"Sorry," I mumble, my mouth full of food.

"Don't apologize," Edward laughs. "You're going to need your energy."

I stop chewing. Edward pulls a piece of paper from his lap, sliding in front of me. I can't help but smile. Sitting in front of me is a piece a paper I doodled on months ago, a list of all the places I wanted to see during my internship.

"Where did you get this?" I say, completely taken aback.

"A little birdy delivered it to me," he says as he puts a piece of fruit in his mouth.

"A fashionable little birdy?"I smile.

He shrugs.

_I'm going to have to thank Alice. _

After I clear my plate, I sit back, putting my hand on my stomach, my food baby happy.

"Well, let's get this vacation going," Edward says standing up. "Why don't you go get dressed."

Bolting out of my chair, instantly giddy, I fly up the stairs, heading to the bathroom. Looking at myself in the mirror, I realize how horrendous I appear. Furiously whipping around to get stuff out of my suitcase, I now notice that all the articles that were once on the floor, are now neatly folded.

I smile to myself.

_Some things will never change. _

Pulling out the massive toiletry kit, I find shaving cream and a razor. Reaching over, I flip on the shower and quickly undress.

0o0o0o

Making my way downstairs, I lay my eyes upon Edward, who is sitting on the couch. He stands when I come in the room.

My heart races a little.

_Why does this feel like a first date?_

"Wow," is all he utters, making me blush.

I look down, silently thanking Alice…again. I chose a yellow cotton dress and a pair of strappy wedges.

_I can do this dress thing. I am a girl._

"Ready?" he says, placing his hand on the small of my back.

"Yup," I say nervously.

He leads me out the front door, and as I make my way down the tiled stairs, concentrating on not falling right in my ass, I gasp at the sight before me.

In the driveway, is a small foreign it's convertible.

"What the hell is that?" I blurt out.

Edward chuckles.

"That would be a 2012 Maserati GranCabrioSport."

I catch myself before I drool.

"But…we have a driver…"

_Why are you objecting?_

"Don't think you'll be the only one who is going to have all the fun," he winks.

I take another once over of the car.

_Damn, no back seat._

Edward comes over to my side, pulling the passenger door open for me. I slide in, the seat hugging me like a second skin.

_I don't even wanna know how much this car costs... _

Edward slides into the driver's seat, the car oddly fitting him very well. He pulls on his sunglasses, the sun beating on us both. He shoots me a smile, making him look like a giddy kid on Christmas.

"Bond, James Bond," I say, trying to keep a straight face.

Edward punches the gas, throwing me back in the seat, a cloud of dust left behind.

**EPOV**

This is exactly what I needed. What we needed. Being in Barcelona with Bella has been amazing, a nice change of pace from our restless life back in Nevada.

We have been here a week, site-seeing non-stop, usually ending up with us passing out on top of each other. We managed to accomplish everything on Bella's list, a large smile on her face every time she checks one off.

_Best fucking feeling ever._

I glance at myself in the floor length mirror, throwing some gel in my hair. Looking harder, I can see the small scars on my face from the accident, it makes me smile instead of being angry. If it weren't for that accident I wouldn't be here today. Bella wouldn't be here. Well. She would be here. Without me.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I give my tie one last tug before heading into the living room, waiting on Bella. As I sit on the couch, I play with the mass in my jacket pocket, my fingers drumming on it.

And then I hear it, the click of high heels on tile. My heart jumps. Standing up, I see Bella making her way down the stairs, adorned in a tight blue dress, a pair of strappy heels on her feet.

My dick twitches in my pants.

_My angel._

"Good evening Miss Swan," I say, reaching out and lightly touching her side.

Bella gives me a tentative smile.

"Do I look alright?" she asks, looking herself up and down.

"Fucking perfect."

My palms begin to sweat.

"Are you ok?" Bella ask, obviously noticing my discomfort.

"Yeah," I say, trying to play it off. "We better get going though, we can't miss our reservation."

I usher her to the car, which is fucking amazing by the way. Might have to get one of these back home. Pulling out the driveway, Idrive towards the ocean, pulling into a small outlet on the side of the road. Exiting the car, I walk over, helping Bella get out. Still holding onto her hand, we weave through a tropical forest, popping out on the other end.

_Perfect._

In front of us is a small table set for two, the sandy floor adorned with small lit candles.

"Holy fucking shit," Bella says, throwing her hands over her mouth.

I can't not laugh.

"Edward…." Is all she says, letting go of my hand and walking closer to the table.

I follow behind her.

"It's like a fairy tale."

"Too much?"I ask nervously.

She nods her head. "But just the right amount of too much."

We both sit down after taking in the sights, two silver domes on our plates. Reaching over, I pull both of ours off.

"I half expected it to be In N Out," Bella jokes.

I look around. "I could probably get it imported."

Bella smiles.

_I will never tire of that smile._

After dinner, we take a break.

"So where did all this come from?" she asks.

"If I told you, I'd have to kill you."

She narrows her eyes at me. My heart jumps again, knowing this is the right time. Pulling my napkin from my lap and setting it on the table, I stand, walking to Bella's side.

"So come take a walk with me," I say quietly.

Bella puts her hand in mine and gets up.

"Wait," she says, making me jump.

Bella undoes her heels, flinging them underneath the table. I do the same.

"Hope no one steals them."

"This is a privately owned beach."

She stops and looks at me her mouth open.

"Are you sure you're not some foreign royal prince or something?"

"Nope, I'm all American baby."

We make our way down the beach, the cold water hitting our feet. It feels fucking fantastic. Lost in my thoughts, I notice how silent I am. When we make it halfway back, I stop dead in my tracks. Grabbing Bella's elbow, I spin her to face me.

But Bella speaks before I can.

"Thank you so much for bringing me here Edward, there are no words to describe how this week has been. I hope you don't feel like you had to."

My mind shifts.

"But I did. I needed to show you what you were giving up Bella. What you were missing out on by being with me."

She takes a step closer to me, her perfume mixing with the salty breeze.

"Edward, I would give up everything in the world to spend 5 minutes with you. Being here without you would be as dull as a moonless night.

And just like that, all my worries…all my hesitations vanish. Reaching into my coat pocket, I grab the box, and drop onto one knee.

"Isabella Swan, I never thought a love like ours existed. Before you came along, I had no hope, no direction. You saved me from drowning existence. You're my guardian angel."

I pause, taking in her reaction.

"I know that things haven't been perfect like I had hoped, but somehow we always come out better than before. I never want to spend a moment away from you. You are my everything. Will you marry me?"

* * *

**So I'm going to torment you one last time...but I'm sure most of you can guess Bella's answer.**

**And yes, this ending is a little clichey, but who doesn't love that?  
**

**Epi will be up ASAP, but give me a few weeks!**

**Xoxo. **


	32. Chapter 32 Epilogue Part 1

**A/N: Afternoon y'all! So here we are...the finale...almost. This is part one of a two part epilogue. Part two will be from Edward's point of view...thanks again to everyone still reading, reviewing, and pimping this story..I love you ALL! **

**One thing I ask of you, please listen to this song after you read the last scene...www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=uqv5b0UjR4g  
**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**5 years after Barcelona**

**BPOV**

"Jesus Christ, I look like a fucking daffodil," Rose says as she looks at herself in the mirror, pulling out the hem of her dress.

I sigh to myself.

"Just shut up and do what you're told," I spit, already tired of her bitching.

I sit on top of our bathtub, my dress incredibly tight, the corseted top making me feel light headed. I never thought this day would come, none of us expected it to happen. At the moment, our backyard is packed full of people, the guest list larger than anyone ever expected.

I get up and peer out the window, seeing Edward standing at the end of the aisle, fidgeting and making sure his tie is straight.

My heart quickens.

Moments later, I hear the band pick up, making me smile.

"You ready?" Rose asks, looking at me and Alice.

We both nod.

The three of us make our way downstairs, all of us in our respective order. When we make it to the French doors, I see the kids getting situated.

"Charlotte, can you take Lily and Anthony's hand? You are going to go first, and make sure you throw the petals slowly, don't throw them all at one time," I direct.

She does as she's told; she really helps us control the younger ones. Seconds later the band switches to the wedding march and we make our way out the open doors and onto the back patio. When I make it outside, everyone is turned in their seats, watching us flattening out our dresses, our bouquets in hand. The kids go first, Charlotte dragging the little ones down the aisle, it making me relax a little. I've never liked having attention on me.

When I make it to the start, I feel an arm slip into mine, and I don't even have to look up to know who it is.

_My love._

We both start to make our way to end of the aisle, my stiletto's making the walk down the carpet extremely difficult.

"Don't worry, I won't let you fall," Edward whispers.

We take a few more slow steps.

_Can't I just run down this fucker?_

"By the way, you're ass looks amazing in that dress," he adds.

I can feel myself blush, the whole audience watching us.

"You don't look so bad yourself," I say, finally looking up at him.

When we make it to the end, Edward slides his arm out from mine and we split, finding my way to Rose's side. I look around, seeing that Peter has a hold of Anthony.

He gives me a wink, in which I return a smile.

I then shift my attention to the groom, who has the biggest smile on his face. I can't help but smile too. He looks so….happy. And then everyone's eyes diverts to the bride.

Alice looks beyond gorgeous, the models in the bridal magazines have nothing on her. Finding her dress was worse than childbirth, I put the total count of dresses tried on at about 300. Most of us thought they would never get married, but I think Alice's power of persuasion finally paid off. When she reaches the end of the aisle, her father lifts her veil, giving her a small kiss before sitting down.

Jackson's smile widens, his eyes lost on her. He softly takes her hand, leading her to their spot.

"We are here today in the presence of family and friends to share with Alice and Jackson the most important moment in their lives," the minister begins.

0o0o0o

The ceremony was short and I thank God because my calves were burning by the first set of vows. By the ring exchange,I swear I had no feeling in both my pinky toes.

Alice and Jackson have their first kiss as man and wife, after which Emmett bursts out, "about fucking time," which makes everyone laugh.

When everything is finished, we all make our way back down the we get inside, I immediately head upstairs, walking directly into the closet to find a pair of flip flops.

"Well, at least they are yellow," I say to myself, sliding them on.

I feel strong hands slide onto my hips from behind, a soft kiss being placed on my neck. Spinning around, I see a pair of emerald green eyes.

"Never thought I'd witness that," Edward says.

"Well they have been engaged for 3 years," I say. "You know Alice was going to make an honest man out of him someday."

"Just like you did me?" Edward smiles.

"Well, at least we didn't do things backwards like they did."

"What do you mean?"

"Marriage first, children second."

"Jackson's not really one for order," he states.

"True," I admit. "Speaking of children…where is Anthony?"

He shrugs, pretending like he doesn't know.

"Father of the year you are," I say, pinching his stomach.

"Ouch," he says. "That hurt Mrs. Masen."

"Good," I say, narrowing my eyes.

He leans in.

"You're going to pay for that."

"Looking forward to it Mr. Masen."

Edward sighs.

"Guess I'll head back downstairs so I can watch my house being destroyed by random people," he says, leaving the closet.

I laugh, flicking out the lights and follow behind him. When I reach downstairs, I immediately spot Rose and Alice, them arguing over something. I hastily make my way over.

"Can you two not fight for _one_ day?" I ask.

They both stop, Rose turning to me.

"I don't care if I'm the maid of honor, you can do it…" she says, walking away.

"Do what?" I say, turning to Alice.

"I really have to pee," she says.

0oo0o0

Picking up the glass of champagne that was set in front of me, I guzzle it, in dire need of something to take off the edge. Edward and I are now sitting at the wedding party table when the toasts start. When it becomes Emmett and Edward's turn, I perk up, knowing this is going to be…interesting. Edward, however, looks less than excited.

Both Edward and Emmett stand, the crowd looking confused.

Edward starts.

"Good evening everyone. I must warn you we are both pretty nervous about doing this speech. We have spent many a night awake, trying to plan it to no avail. We were both so nervous about doing this speech we asked the groom for some advice on how to prepare for talking to a large audience.

Then Emmett starts. .

"So he did. He told us to imagine that you are all naked, so if you don't mind, we are going to give it a go."

Emmett starts winking at the audience, making everyone laugh.

Edward then starts again, "Ladies and gentlemen, may I thank you for attending this wonderful occasion. You can all agree that today has been a great success, so far, they look absolutely stunning. So if you could raise your glasses. To the bride and groom.

Everyone raises their glass, but Emmett continues. "Also, thanks must go to the beautiful bridesmaids, who did a fabulous job today getting the bride ready and making sure she didn't back out. So if you could please raise your glasses again. To the bridesmaids."

Emmett turns to us, raising his glass and gives me a wink, before throwing his cup back, swallowing it in one gulp.

Edward does the same, then leans down, giving me a kiss on the lips.

"How long did you practice that?" I laugh.

Edward sits down in his chair beside me.

"Emmett and his stupid fucking ideas."

I laugh. This reception continues on, the day slowly turning into night, the sky at twilight. I start scanning the backyard, making sure everything is in order. I then find myself staring at the dance floor, smiling.

"Hey Masen," I hear Emmett boom from behind us. "Looks like your son has a thing for older women."

Edward rolls his eyes. Lily and Anthony are dancing….well if you can even call it that. Alice and Jackson notice what we are all staring at, a large smile on their faces as well.

"If he's anything like you, I want your son as far away from my daughter as possible," Jackson shouts, a grin on his face.

"Well if your daughter is anything like you're new wife….you're going to need a third job," I shout back, giving Alice a wink.

0o0o0o0

The day soon turns to night, the guests starting to filter out one by one.

"I think I'm going to take him to bed," I whisper.

Anthony is asleep on Edward's shoulder. Both of us stand up, Edward sliding Anthony into my arms.

"You got him?" Edward asks.

"Yeah," I say softly, heading back into the house.

Making my way down the hallway, I turn into Anthony's room, placing him softly into his bed, making sure the sheets are tight around him.

Just as I go to leave, he stirs.

"Mommy…." he whispers.

I turn around, walking back to him.

"Yeah honey?"

"I love you…" he whispers. "And daddy too."

I smile to myself.

"And we love you very much."

He starts to doze off again.

I quietly close his door and make my way back downstairs, everyone in the living room, Alice has already changed out of her wedding dress.

"Well, you two better get going," Edward says. "Don't want to miss your plane."

We all hug each other, Emmett, Rose, Edward and I following Alice and Jackson out the front door, where a limo awaits.

"Thank you so much for watching Lily, are you sure it's not going to be too much trouble?"

I roll my eyes.

"I already have one, what's another?" I joke.

Alice gives me a hug.

"I love you," she whispers.

"I love you too, now go have fun."

She giggles, then bounces her way into the limo. Jackson gives Edward a hug, then proceeds to me.

"Thanks for everything Bella, today was beautiful."

"It was our pleasure Jackson," I say, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Enjoy Barcelona."

"Oh we will," he says into my ear.

We both pull back.

"No consummating the marriage in my bed," Edward calls out.

"Yes sir," Jackson says, tipping his imaginary hat.

Edward decided to buy the villa in Barcelona about 3 days into our original trip. We use it about once a year, usually sometime around our wedding anniversary. I would be lying if I said Anthony wasn't conceived there.

Once Alice and Jackson left, I slide my hand into Edward's as we make our way back to the house. When we reach the foyer, we both involuntarily sigh.

"That was a long goddamn day," Edward says, rubbing his hands on his face.

"Tell me about it," I respond. "At least _you_ didn't have to deal with Rose all day."

Edward shoots me a look.

"I think Emmett might be worse. You would think turning 30 would have calmed him down. He's like a fucking man child."

"They are kinda perfect for each other…in that immature, always got to be the center of attention, kind of way."

He laughs.

I can't say that I was surprised that Rose and Emmett got their marriage annulled. I think marriage wasn'tin the books for them originally. Edward's hand drops from mine and wraps around my waist, pulling me into him.

"That was a beautiful wedding Bella, you did a great job."

I shrug.

"Alice did most of it, I just organized it."

"I think it makes it that much more amazing, not even most professional wedding coordinators have to deal with a bridezilla of that caliber."

I smile.

"I've known Alice almost my whole life, you learn to _deal._"

"Is that what you say about me?" Edwards says, giving me a sly grin.

"If you only knew," I kid, sliding out of his grasp.

"Ouch," Edward says, clutching his heart.

I make my way into the kitchen, the cleaning crew almost finished. I pull open the fridge, pulling out a bottle of water, immediately opening it and chugging half of it.

_Fucking Nevada summer nights._

I shut the refrigerator door, looking around for Edward, who is no longer behind me. I scan the family room, it coming up empty.

I then hear a light melody come to my ears, my body turning in the direction of the backyard. Stepping through the doors, the backyard is dark, except the small twinkle lights still on from the reception. And then I see him.

He's standing in the middle of the lawn, the lights bouncing off his auburn hair.

The song melody continues as Edward makes his way over to me.

"May I have this dance Mrs. Masen?" he says with a sly grin, his hand out for me to take.

I can feel myself blush. I reach out, out hands fitting into one another's. He pulls me gently and walk backwards, so that we are now in the center of the backyard. He lets go of my hands and I put them around his neck, his on my hips.

I now realize the song, one of my classical favorites. Elvis.

Edward and I start to dance slowly, finding our own rhythm.

"Wise men say only fools rush in…but I can't help falling in love with you…" Edward starts to sing to me, his voice deep and smooth.

"Shall I stay…would it be a sin….If I can't help falling in love with you…" he continues.

I smile, my heart racing a million miles an hour.

"Like a river flows surely to the sea…Darling so it goes….some things are meant to be…take my hand, take my whole life too…for I can't help falling in love with you."

My body is on romance overload. I smash my lips to Edwards, his palms tightening on my hips. After a few seconds, I pull back, placing my head on his chest, our bodies swaying together.

"I love you Bella," Edward whispers, placing a small kiss on my forehead.

* * *

**So how many of you thought is was E/B wedding in the beginning? ;)**

**Part 2 will be up...whenever I finish it**


	33. Chapter 33  Epilogue Part 2

**A/N: Welp, here we are. The end. **

**I just want to take the time to thank everyone still reading and reviewing. This has been one of the best experiences of my life and I am truly happy that I took the jump to do this. I have met so many wonderful people through writing this story.**

**Another HUGE thanks to my beta, you have been truly amazing. Sorry for all those late night chats and freak outs :) **

**With every chapter I have a song that inspired a certain scene or the whole thing, and this one was inspired by "Living In A Moment" by Ty Herndon.**

**"And when they carve my stone all they'll need to write on it  
Is once lived a man who got all he ever wanted  
Tell me something who could ask for more  
Then to be living in a moment  
Loving every minute  
Tell me something who could ask for more  
Then to be living in a moment you would die for"  
**

**As ever, I hope you enjoy. **

* * *

**2 years later.**

**EPOV**

I'm so fucking exhausted.

For some reason I feel more nervous that excited. The powerful beast stirs between my legs, letting me know he's ready. I wiggle my fingers in the loop, making sure it's tight.

I scan the arena, finding them.

_My love. My family. _

To be honest, I never thought of myself as a family man. After all the bullshit I saw with my family, I wasn't so sure I wanted to go through all that. But that all changed the moment Bella told me she was pregnant. I was the happiest man on the fucking planet. Anthony is five, a spitting image of his mother. Dark hair, brown eyes. The way he looks at Bella, is one of infatuation.

_I guess he does have a little bit of his father in him. _

But then when Elizabeth was born, that's when things really started to scare me. I instantly became a worrier over night. I immediately began to think about boys dating her and how I need to start pulling out my shotguns. The image of pregnant Bella flashes across my vision, making me grin from ear to ear. Watching something that we created together grow inside her is still the most fascinating spectacle to date.

I feel a flick on the side of my head, snapping me out of my trip down memory lane.

I look up, seeing Emmett's massive figure shadowing above me.

"Flick me again and you'll be sorry," I snap to him.

Just as he goes to do it again, the gate flies open, the bull spinning in ever changing directions. I grasp tighter, riding him out, almost knowing every turn before it happens.

And just like that, it's over.

The loud buzzer reaches my ear and I unhook myself, jumping off the bull. And then I know something is different. Something inside me is missing.

That feeling of accomplishment is gone. I find Bella, who is currently holding Anthony up against the gate. I can see his green eyes from beneath his cowboy hat.

I smile, remembering when we bought it for him. He still refuses to take it off.

After I do my shtick for the crowd, I walk through the exit gate, pulling open the straps on my vest, my chest tight. When I make it into the back room, I am alone. Sitting down on the couch, I lean my head back, closing my eyes.

_I can't do this shit anymore._

A few minutes later, I hear the door fly open, the handle making a loud crash against the opposite wall. Then I l hear laughter.

Emmett walks through the door, each of my children under his arms like sacks of potatoes.

"I caught dinner!" Emmett booms, his attitude resembling a child's.

My children laugh louder.

"You can't eat us Uncle Emmett!" Anthony cries out.

"Put my kids down," I say, pinching the bridge of my nose.

Emmett listens, putting them down on the floor, both of them running straight for me. Leaning forward, I wrap my arms around both of them.

"You did so great daddy!" Anthony says.

I give both of them a kiss on top of their heads. I then see Bella in the doorway.

_My angel._

Even after all these years she takes my breath away.

I flash her a smile, a small one coming across her lips. Before I even have a chance to get off the couch to give her a kiss, Sam is behind her.

"Come on man," he says, ushering me to follow him.

_Media time. Fucking hate this part. _

I let out a heavy sigh, lifting my ass off the couch. Every muscle in my legs stiffen.

"Fuck," I mutter.

I slip past Bella in the doorway, placing a soft kiss on her lips.

"Ewwww," I hear from behind me, Anthony giving us a disgusted look.

"If you only knew what they really do when you're not around," Emmett laughs.

"Emmett!" Bella and I say in unison.

"What?" Emmett says, turning to us, obviously not realizing what he is saying.

Emmett picks up Anthony again, and starts to walk out of the room.

"Don't worry little man, I will teach you everything I know about women," I hear him utter.

I turn to Bella.

"I think a restraining order is necessary…." I declare.

Bella laughs, smacking me on the shoulder.

"EDWARD!" Sam yells from the end of the hallway.

"HOLD YOUR FUCKING HORSES," I shout back.

I look back at Bella again, a worried look on her face.

"I'm fine…" I answer before she even has time to ask.

Giving her another small kiss. I grab her hand, leading us back out the arena. When we reach the media circus, I let go of her, the reporters surrounding me.

It's the same questions…."how well do you think you rode?"…"how are you feeling?" I feel myself zone out…answering with the same mundane answers.

But one question strikes me back to reality…."what is your future like at the PBR?"

And in that instant, I knew.

"I'm retiring…today was my last and final ride," I utter, almost shocked that those words came out of my mouth.

A professional bull rider's career is pretty short lived compared to the average person, but most go until their 40's. But as of now…I'm just _done. _

The buzz of voices begins, the camera flashes more frequent. I scan the crowd, finding Bella through the sea of masses. Traveling all the time has definitely put a strain on our lives, the addition of kids making it that much worse. Even though they are with me, I feel that I have missed so much. And right now, I want nothing more than to be home with them.

I smile, thanking everyone for the time, and then push through the crowds. I stride up to Bella, placing her face in between my hands, planting a hard kiss on her lips.

Leaning down, I pick up Elizabeth in my arms.

"Let's go home…" I say to my family, making my way out the back.

The whole reason I became a bull rider was to chase that adrenaline rush. To fill that hole that my mother's death left. The hole my father refused to fill.

I make it out to the parking lot, almost feeling relieved.

"Did I hear you right? Did you just quit?" Bella asks.

I smile while nodding.

"Plus I didn't quit…I retired."

"Edward, you're 32 years old."

"So…" I say, not understanding her statement.

She bites her lip.

"Edward, I know I haven't always been totally supportive of your job… it's just… in the back of my mind every time you shoot outta that gate I flash back to that hospital room."

Her voice is full of emotion she's losing the battle to fight back. "But I knew going in that this is your life. You love this…"

I lean in pulling her to me and silencing her worries.

"Bella, you are my wife. The mother of my children. I would do _anything_ for you. But honestly, I am doing this for _me_. I'm done. I want to be done. When I stumbled into that first rodeo all those years ago, I knew it was where I was supposed to be. Instantly. And tonight… when I got off that bull… I just knew…. This is what _I _want. "

I leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Let's go home."

0o0o0o0

"Hey…" I say quietly as I pull open the front door.

"Hey…" Alice says in return, setting into the foyer.

"Bella is just finishing getting dressed…." I say, ushering her to follow me into the living room.

"I'm sorry for your loss Edward," Alice sympathizes.

"Thanks," I say, taking a swig of my beer.

After a few minutes I hear the click of heels against the tile floor. Alice and I look around the corner, Bella appearing from upstairs. Bella remains silent, giving a small smile to Alice. I know something is bothering her.

After an uncomfortable silence, I take my keys off the hook.

"Thanks for watching the kids," I tell Alice.

"No problem," she responds. "See you later.""

I place my hand on Bella's lower back, guiding her to the garage. When we get to the truck, I open her car door for her, she immediately slides in.

The ride was quiet, both of us lost in our own thoughts. When we pull up, there is a sea of black. I hastily make my way over to Bella's door, helping her out. Looking up at the sky, it's dark and dreary, much like I feel right now. Leaning into the truck, I grab Bella's coat, sliding it onto her, placing a kiss on her cheek.

"Thanks," she utters quietly.

We make our way to the crowd, full of familiar faces. I spot Emily, her face swollen from crying.

"Edward," she says holding her hands out to me.

I step forward, giving her a tight hug.

"I'm so sorry," I say, placing a kiss on her cheek. "He was an amazing person."

Sam was like a brother to me. When I got the call that he had died, that gap in my heart tore open a little. Goes to show you how unpredictable life really is. How unpredictable bull riding is.

After a few minutes of mingling, the priest arrives, everyone taking their seats. Throughout the precession, I find my eyes drifting to Bella. Reaching over, I slide my hand in hers, giving it a light squeeze. Through all my rides Bella became close with Sam and his family, their kids are around the same age as Anthony and Elizabeth.

When everyone is done remembering Sam and the casket lowers, the crowd disperses. When we get back to the car, I hesitate before turning on the truck.

"Are you ok?" I ask her.

She doesn't turn to look at me, but her head nods softly.

Starting the truck up, our ride home is the same as coming here. When I pass a familiar part of the road, I whip the truck off the road, snapping Bella out of her comatose state.

I grasp her hand in mine, sliding her out my side. We walk together up the familiar worn path to my favorite place in the world. I sit down in the talk grass, pulling Bella down in between my legs, her back against my chest. We sit there for a few minutes silently, giving her space.

I then start to hear her sniffle. I lean around, seeing a tear fall from her face.

"I'm so sorry," she finally says, wiping it off.

"What do you have to be sorry about?" I inquire.

"For acting like this. He was you're friend…" she starts to say.

"He was yours too," I tell her.

She falls silent again but after another second she turns so that she is facing me.

"It just…brought back…memories," she says slowly. "You in that bed…"

My heart aches.

"That could have been you. That could have been us," she adds.

I lean over, picking Bella up in my arms and putting her on my lap, her face nuzzled into my neck. Pushing her hair out of her face, I place my fingertips underneath her chin, bringing her face to mine.

"Nothing can take me away from you Bella…nothing," I whisper to her. "Got it?"

She doesn't respond.

"Got it?" I say more sternly.

She nods softly again.

Leaning in even closer, I place my lips on hers, the salty wetness of her tears hitting my lips. Bella's hand instantly comes up, her delicate fingertips sliding into my locks of hair, her grasp on them tightening with every second.

I eventually lean back so that both of us are enveloped in the tall grass that has grown here over the years. Pulling my lips from hers, I take a second to look at Bella. My wife.

"My angel…" I whisper to her, a small smile escaping from her.

Bella shifts herself so that she is now straddling me, her long locks of hair streaming down around us. My heart starts to race, a feeling I have only experienced since I first laid my eyes on Bella.

We both stare at each other for a second, both soaking this up, but Bella eventually speaks.

"I need you Edward," she softly says.

My heart does one more spike before I sit up, shoving my lips onto Bella's throat. I kiss it, a mixture between soft and passionate. I can hear moans coming from Bella, only fueling the fire more. Moving my hands from her face, I move them to her upper back, finding the top of the zipper of her dress between my fingers. Slowly, I pull it down, feeling her bare skin touch mine as I reach the bottom.

She helps me eventually, shrugging out of it; eventually pulling it all the way off. She is now only in her bra and panties, that sight making my dick fucking jump. After a few more seconds, I see the sadness leave Bella's face, replaced with passion.

She pushes on my chest so that my back is now flush with the ground again. Her delicate fingers undo the buttons on my shirt, exposing my bare chest. Leaning down, she places her lips on my chest, giving each one of my scars a light kiss.

My heart at this point is beating so hard that I feel it may break one of my ribs. Reaching up, I grab Bella and make us switch places. I can hear her giggle.

Leaning down, I do the same to her as she did to me. I place small kisses all over her torso, paying attention to the small scars she has from her cesareans. Her hands find my head again, making me look up at her.

When my face meets hers, she is biting her lip softly, driving me over the edge. Reaching down, I undo my pants, kicking them off along with my boots. I scoot up so that we are close together. I then reach down, pushing myself inside of her.

Bella gasps a little, making me inwardly smile.

I push in and out of her at a slow rhythmic pace, this more about love than fucking. As we continue on, Bella throws her head back, low groans leaving her throat. We are both lost in our worlds of pleasure together when I hear a loud rumble emerge from the sky and I can feel Bella shudder. I look up, the sky getting darker, clouds moving at a surreal pace.

Placing my attention back on Bella, I notice her body is covered in goose bumps. Leaning down, I put my lips all over Bella, blowing hot air on her skin as I pass.

"Fuck," I hear Bella moan out, exciting me even more.

I pick up my speed, thrusting inside of her, the tip of my dick hitting her limit.

Another rumble.

I begin to feel wetness on my back and before I know it, the sky opens up, water pouring from it. Within minutes we are soaked, Bella in more ways than one.

I can feel myself reaching my climax but I hold off, wanting to see Bella come first. After a few more thrusts, her moans become louder, and I know that she is getting close. Leaving one hand on the ground, I reach up, pulling her bra down so that her breasts are exposed. I place my lips around one, tracing the outline of her nipple with my tongue. Bella's body jerks, her hips rising off the ground.

"Come baby," I whisper, my mouth changing to the other breast.

A few more thrusts and Bella's hand fly to the ground, gripping the plants around her. When she reaches her climax, she moans incredibly loud, ripping the plants out of the ground.

I find myself laughing.

When she comes down from her high, she opens her eyes, a beautiful shade of chocolate brown looking up at me.

And before I know it, a intense wave of pleasure comes over me and I spill inside her. When I am done, I pull out from her, sliding to her side. We lay next to each other, the rain still beating down on our naked bodies. I stare at every inch of Bella, her body glistens where the water hits her skin.

When both of our breathing regulates, a bright flash jumps across the sky, making Bella jump to her feet.

I can tell that she is scared, so I jump up as well, grabbing my jeans from the ground, them sopping wet. I get them on, opting to forgo the shirt. The sky rumbles again, another flash across the sky. This time Bella screams.

I grab my coat, throwing it around her body, then throw her over my shoulder, and start running to the truck. When I reach it, I place Bella down, a large smile across her face.

"Holy shit…feel my heart," she says taking my hand.

She places it on her chest and I can feel is palpitating, almost as though it is going to jump out of her rib cage.

"Is that because of the weather, or because of me?" I joke.

She gives me a soft smile.

"My heart had been racing like this since the day I met you Edward," she softly says, as almost embarrassed.

I take hold of her hands, pulling her into me. I reach up, shifting the strands of wet hair that are now glued in front of her face.

"Bella, since I first laid eyes on you at that bar, I knew I never had a chance," I choke out. "My heart belongs to you Bella."

She looks up at me.

"I knew that I could never stop loving you, even when I thought you had," I continue.

She starts to fidget with her hands.

"How did you know?" she asks softly.

"It was just before I lost consciousness…" I start.

Bella's eyes widen slightly.

"I saw you in front of me, as clear as I do now, and in that instant I knew I didn't want to live in a world where you didn't exist. Where I couldn't hold you…."

I can feel a lump forming in my throat.

Bella's hand reaches up, her delicate fingers touching my cheek.

"Nothing can take my away from you," she says smiling.

I can't help but smile back.

"Not even death," I choke out. "You will forever be mine Isabella Swan, as long as you'll have me."

"Forever," she says softly, placing her head on my chest.

* * *

**Cliche as hell, but I kinda like that.**

**Thanks to everyone taking this amazing ride with me, I truly appreciate every single one of you. **

**Later y'all. *tips hat and backs out*  
**


	34. Chapter 34  Outtake Miss Me Baby

**A/N: So I'll admit it. I missed Chapward. So I decided to write this little outtake, it goes back in time, after Bella heads back to Seattle. **

**Hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

EPOV

"Emmett, just leave me the fuck alone!" I yell as I flip him off through the door.

I can feel the warmth run down my forearm, my ears picking up the light sound of the drops hitting the floor repeatedly.

I spit on my hand, using it to clean the blood off my knuckles. The blood just smears, making it worse.

_Fuck it._

Turning on the water, letting it run, the bowl not draining fast enough, the once clear water now a murky rust color.

Cupping some of the water in my hands I can feel it seeping into my cuts, the pain ironically making me smile. Ever since Bella left, pain is the only thing I seem to fucking feel. It's a constant reminder of her, and I fear if I lose the feeling of pain, I lose her for forever.

Taking a step back, I feel my feet slide out from under me, my body slamming onto the tile floor.

"Fuck!" I shout out.

I pick up whatever I slipped on, holding it in my hand. My chest tightens, as though someone dropped a piece of cement on it.

A fucking toothbrush.

Her toothbrush.

I am flooded with memories, my throat tight.

Taking the water I splash it on my face, it rolls down my chest and back, the unexpected coolness breathtaking. I glance at myself in the mirror, the figure standing before me barely recognizable. Stumbling over to the side of the tub, I grab the bottle of whiskey I had put there earlier. Bringing it up to my lips, I drink, not stopping until the bottle becomes dry. Pitching it to side, I hear it shatter, adding to other shards of glass on the floor.

Another loud rap on the door. The heat from the alcohol flows through my veins, my vision becoming somewhat blurred. The knocking on my bathroom door doesn't stop, each rap shortening my fucking fuse.

Turning around, I make my way to the door.

"I swear to god if you don't leave me….." I shout as I wrap my fingers around the door knob, pulling it open.

My eyes look straight at the floor, meeting a pair of stiletto heels and bare tan legs. I don't even care enough to look up and see who they belong to.

_It's not her. _

Squeezing past the figure, I make it into the bedroom, my body feeling heavy. Walking over to my bed, I fall, my back hitting the mattress. At that moment I black out…or fall asleep. I'm not sure which.

And that's when I see her.

She is standing away from me, not within arms distance. I can see that her face is pale, dark circles apparent underneath her eyes. Her long brown hair is whipping in the wind. My heart shatters into pieces, knowing that I have made her this way. That I caused her pain.

I can't seem to do anything but watch her. To trace my eyes over every inch of her, burning her into my mind, in hopes of never losing sight of her again. She doesn't seem to notice me, her body turned away from me, her arms wrapping around herself, as though she is comforting herself.

She drops her head down, and I can see a small light glistening off her cheek. I want nothing more than to touch her, to feel the warmth of her skin against mine. I instinctively take a step forward, my body falling slightly forward. Looking down, I now notice I am in a pit of sand, my extended leg being swallowed by it.

_Quick sand._

I look up at her. She is now facing me, her hair whipping around even more, covering half her face. She holds out her delicate hand to me. I use all my might, pulling my foot out of the sand, only to have the other one fall further. Repeating this process I press on, every step becoming harder and harder, my body sinks further, my energy level nonexistent. By the time I am within inches of her, I pull together everything I have, lifting myself out of the quick sand, sprinting over the top of it. I continue to run, and when I reach her, I grab her hand, but the moment I do she falls through the floor, my grip lost on her for forever.

O0o0o

"I can be better than her," I hear a voice whisper into my ear.

I come back to, but my eyelids are extremely heavy. I can feel a weight on top of me, my hands finding warm skin next to me. For a second, part of me is relieved.

_It was all a dream. _

Hands find their way underneath my shirt, fingertips tracing over my chest. I inhale deeply, the touch feeling fucking incredible. I lay there for a few seconds, feeling the hands trace all over my body, ending on my belt buckle, the hands working quickly to undo it. My heart rate quickens, my body responding to each pass…each graze. Seconds later, I feel wetness and warmth on my neck, the feeling instantly makies me snap my eyes open. In that second, I know it's not who I wished it was.

My eyes are met with a vibrant blue, a blue only achieved by colored contacts. It takes my mind a second to realize what is happening. Bella wasn't a dream, but an illusion in my blacked out state.

The girl on top of me slides her fingers up and down my chest as she bites her lip seductively. I can't help but laugh.

_She's trying too hard. Bella never had to try. _

"You like that?" her harsh voice says, an obvious result of smoking too much.

I smile before grabbing her shoulders roughly with my hands.

"You know what I'd like?" I say in my most seductive voice.

"What's that baby?" she responds.

I can tell she thinks she is going to get something from me.

"For you to get the fuck off me," I say, shoving her off of me so hard that she falls onto the floor.

My mother always taught me not to disrespect women, but at this point I could fucking care less. As I get up from the bed, I can hear her shouting something from behind me, not caring what the hell she has to say. Pulling open my bedroom door I start to make my way down the stairs, zipping up my pants and rehooking my belt buckle in the process.

"Edward…" I hear a low voice say, my body colliding with Jackson's. "Tell me you didn't…"

"And what if I fucking did? Huh?" I snap back. "Who is here to stop me? No one. No one gives a fuck about me anymore. Not even her," I continue to scream.

I now notice that everyone has stopped what they are doing and is staring at the tantrum I am now throwing.

"Everyone get the fuck out of my house…NOW!" I scream.

Everyone just continues to stare, no one moves a muscle.

_I need to get the fuck out of here. _

I push my way past Jackson, heading for my key hooks. Just as I am about to reach them, Emmett's massive form appears before me.

"No can do bro," he says, crossing his arms.

"I'm not a fucking child Emmett!" I scream.

"You can kill your liver with shit all you want, but I will not let your ass near a car in this state," he states.

"Fuck you," I spit.

"How original," he says with a sly smile on his face.

A fire burns inside me and I find the closest thing to me, chucking it at his head.

He laughs just as he ducks out of the way.

"Keep that up and you're not going have fucking furniture left. You already broke all the mirrors and half your plates and from what I heard upstairs, I assume there is more shit broken."

I spit at his feet, then turn and make my way to the front door.

"Let him go," I hear Emmett say, assuming that Jackson must have seen me leaving.

The outside heat is stifling, my shirt sticking to me instantly, the water from before is not helping. When I get to the end of my driveway, I pull out a pack of cigarettes, lighting one immediately.

I take a few puffs, blowing smoke rings in the dark. For a second I smile, remembering as a child how cool I thought my father looked when he did that.

After what I can only assume is hours of walking, I find myself among the lights of downtown Reno.

"What the fuck am I doing here…?" I mumble to myself.

I continue to walk down the busy streets, my hands in my pocket, and my eyes on the ground. I can feel people staring, their eyes on me. When I get to the edge of town, I stop, a particularly bright neon sign causing me to stop. I look into the shop, the place particularly slow for a Friday night. I walk up to the front door, pushing it open, the door chimes as I enter.

I stand in the lobby, looking at all the artwork on the wall, feeling overpowered.

_How the fuck would a person choose one? _

"Hey man, can I help you?" I hear a voice come from behind me.

I spin around, my head spinning with me.

"Uh yeah, I was looking to get some artwork," I say to the man behind the counter.

"Ok. Well first off welcome to Wild West tattoo shop," he responds. "Have you ever had a tattoo before?"

"Nah," I say, looking back up at the walls.

I can tell now that he is studying me. My bloody hands and obvious drunkenness. I walk over to the counter, throwing down all the cash I currently have on me, which is somewhere around $1,000.

"But money isn't a problem," I say sarcastically, a smart ass smirk on my face.

The man looks at the wad of cash on the table, getting my drift.

"So what do you want?" he asks.

"A swan," I belt out, my heart obviously having no problem communicating with my mouth.

"Alright," the man says as he strokes his goatee. "Take a seat over there and I'll sketch something out."

I do as I'm told and make my way over to the seats in the waiting room. As I wait I become more impatient, my leg bouncing off the floor.

_Jesus Christ Edward, you probably look like a fucking drug addict. _

Just as I am about to lose my fucking mind, he calls me forward.

When we make it to the back, I slide onto the stool, my forearm resting on a podium. When the guy gets his shit ready he sits onto a stool beside me.

"Which arm do you want it on?" he asks me.

I pull up the sleeve on my buttoned shirt, opting for the right arm since there my other one is cut up pretty bad.

"Alright man, this can hurt pretty badly. Especially since you're pretty muscular," he warns me.

"I've been through hell of a lot worse," I say almost laughing.

The first prick makes me jump slightly, but after a few minutes I become numb, the pain inside me escaping through my arm. I close my eyes, hearing nothing but the sound of my heart beat and the hum of the tattoo gun. The session is quick and before I know it, I am taped up.

"Thanks man," I say, shaking the guy's hand.

"No problem Mr. Masen," the guy responds. "Also, congrats on the title. We're pretty proud of ya man."

_At least someone is. _

"Thanks," I mutter before leaving the store again.

When I make it back outside I swear it got fucking hotter. Or maybe it's just the alcohol seeping through my pores. By the time I make it back to my house the sun is starting to rise. I have sobered up somewhat, but my head is pounding, my throat dry as the desert. I go to push open the front door but find it locked.

"Fuck," I spit out, remembering last night.

I can now feel my arm is burning, the bandages inhibiting me from scratching it. Walking around the house I hop up onto the porch, reaching up for the hide-a-key. Just as my fingertips find it, the back door flies open.

"Great. What the hell are you still doing here?" I ask, pushing past him.

"Excuse us for fucking caring about you Edward," Emmett snaps.

I sit down on the couch, putting my head into my hands.

We both remain silent.

"Sorry," I mumble a few minutes later.

I feel a mass sit next to me, the couch cushion sinking.

"Man, you got to move on," he says in a hushed tone.

"I can't," I state. "You don't understand Emmett."

We both fall silent.

"Edward, just because I don't come off as someone that is looking for a monogamous relationship, doesn't mean I don't know what you are going through."

I pull my face out of my hands, giving him a confused look.

"Kim," he sighs.

I shift back into the couch.

"You've never mentioned her before," I say.

Emmett stares off into space.

"Yup….Kim. Man she broke my heart."

"What happened?" I ask, hoping to get some insight into Emmett's demented mind.

"She gave me a Valentine's Day card."

I look at him confused.

"I even kissed her, we went out for a whole 15 min. Until I learned that bitch had given cards to four other boys."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I ask, completely lost.

"Second grade," he says turning to me.

I scoff.

"Are you trying to compare my situation to a 15 minute fling you once has in _second_ grade?"

"I just think the moral of our stories are the same," he states.

"And what might that be?"

"Women. Can't live with them, can't live without them," Emmett laughs, clearly joking.

I laugh involuntarily and it feels foreign but incredible.

We both fall silent again.

"So what's that?" Emmett asks after a few minutes, nodding toward my bandage. "Did you take your ass to the hospital while you were on your little rendezvous?"

"Would my fucking hands still look like this if I had?" I say holding up my bloody knuckles.

"Dude, you need to stop with the violence and shit. That's going to bite you in the ass one day."

"Thanks mom," I mutter.

Reaching over, I start to pick at the edge of the tape, pulling it back slowly. As the tips of the wings become exposed, my breathing becomes hitched. When I finally get all of the bandage off, I hold out my forearm, letting Emmett see it fully.

"That's badass," he says, looking it over.

"Thanks," I whisper.

He sits back against the cushion.

"Well that answers that," he says.

"What?" I ask, confused again.

"Can't live without them," he mutters.

I look down at it, smiling.

Whether Bella wanted to be with me or not, she will always be a part of me now. Part of the person I was…the person I am.

And I never wanted to forget that.

Ever.


	35. Chapter 35 For You I Will

**A/N: Hello to all my PL lovers! So like many of you have told me, I miss Chapward too. Unfortunately I dint have enough time or ideas to make a part 2, so here is a little treat for all of you.**

**I sincerely hope you all enjoy this! **

**Xoxo.**

* * *

BPOV

I open my eyes, the sound of the screeching alarm disturbing my restful sleep.

_That has got to be the worst fucking sound on the planet._

I curl my legs up to my chest, not wanting to leave his warm haven; not wanting to start this chaotic day. A minute has passed and I have yet to get up and turn the alarm off.

However, after a few more minutes I hear a loud grumble come from the mass beside me, it shifting slightly. A long arm comes out, grabbing the clock in its deathly grip before it is hurled against the wall, the obnoxious sound stopping abruptly.

I can't help but giggle.

"Edward, that's the third one we have gone through this month," I whine.

The massive figure turns to me, its lion like hair sprawled out over his pillow. The hand that was tossing electronic instruments through the air not minutes ago is now around my waist, pulling me in close.

"You don't need an alarm clock when your retired my angel," he mumbled from underneath his sheets.

I roll my eyes.

"You may be retired but _I _have a full time job…." I state.

I try to pull my body away from his but his grip only tightens.

"I don't think Mrs. Perkins will enjoy the kids being tardy yet again," I say, still trying to get away from him. "Oh and that reminds me, Emmett is never going to be responsible for dropping the kids off ever again."

"Ahh he was just trying to help," Edward defends.

I roll my eyes.

"He took our kids to Starbucks before school…." I state.

Edward laughs.

Putting my hand on top of Edward's I pry his fingers away.

"I really do need to get them ready for school," I state.

He finally let's go; a pouty look on his face. Walking over to his side of the bed, I lean down giving him a kiss.

"How about I meet you back here say…around eleven, cowboy?" I say in my most seductive tone.

"Yes ma'am," he says in a heightened tone.

I give him a wink before turning around to head to the bathroom, Edward reaching out and smacking my ass as I start to walk away.

Life as a mom is quite different. My morning routine is more about speed than efficiency. When I manage to get dressed in a matching outfit and run a brush through my hair, I call it a success.

When I come back out of the bathroom Edward is laying on top of the covers in nothing but his boxer briefs and a cowboy hat.

I shake my head but my insides clench a little bit.

"Retired life must be good huh?" I tease.

He doesn't say anything except for reaching up and tipping the brim of his hat.

"I'm sure the kids would like to see their father before they get up for school," I kid. "And not in that ensemble."

I pull open our bedroom door and make my way down the hallway, opening each of the kid's doors.

"Time to get up," I whisper into the dark room.

After that I head downstairs, picking up the piles of laundry on the way. When I reach the kitchen I start to make breakfast. Edward still doesn't allow me to do much so I usually resort to making the kids cereal and OJ.

_Nothing that involves fire. _

I immediately start the coffee pot, the aroma filling the room instantly. Heading over to the refrigerator I open the door, reaching up on my tippy toes to reach the milk in the back. When I get my fingers behind it, I silently curse.

"Who the fuck drank all the milk?" I say to myself.

"Ohhhhh mommy said a bad word…." I hear a voice say behind me.

I turn around to see Edward behind me, his hands now on my tits.

"I think someone owes the swear jar a quarter," he laughs.

"Says the person that puts twenty dollars in it automatically every day when he wakes up."

I take time to look at him, his chosen outfit being a tight white v-neck shirt and jeans. Standing up on my tippy toes again I place my lips on his, the passion overtaking the best of us.

"Ewwwww," I hear a little voice say.

Pulling myself away I see an audience of people standing in the doorway of the kitchen. I just laugh and roll my eyes.

A full house is not a rarity here; most mornings consisted of the whole gang being here for breakfast. I walk around Edward, greeting our guests one by one.

I reach up, wrapping my arms around the massive figure.

"Morning Bella Bee," Emmett says, kissing me on the cheek.

"Morning Emmett," I smile.

He passes, the next figure taking his place. Reaching out, I rub the other massive form in front of me.

"I look like a fat cow don't I?" she says.

I laugh.

"No. You look beautiful Rose. And you _are_ carrying twins…."

She rolls her eyes.

"Of course I would be the one who gets passed the twins gene," she whines.

I look back at Emmett who is now rolling his eyes at us. Rose walks over to him and flicks him upside the head. Turning my attention back to the rest of our guests, I can't help but hold back my smile.

"Morning guys," I say to the threesome standing before me.

"Morning!" they all exclaim at the same time.

"Wow, Lily! You are getting so big!" I exclaim as I bend down and give her a kiss on top of her head.

She giggles then runs off to find Anthony and Elizabeth.

I let out a sigh.

Walking over I wrap my arms around Alice and Jackson, giving them a hug.

"You look tired Isabella," Alice says, her worrisome never diminishing over the years.

I wave her off and head back into the kitchen, it now loud and crowded. Edward now conversing with Emmett and Jackson, the girls seated at the table. I now realize that Edward has overtaken the duty of breakfast, scrambled eggs and bacon already on the table.

_How does he do it so fast? _

After a few minutes the kids come down, their faces sleepy.

"Morning guys," I say, leaning down to give them each a kiss.

"Ewww, mom!" Anthony says as he pulls away from me. "Men don't get kisses from their mothers."

"Well sorrrry," I laugh. "I guess I must have missed the memo."

I set them up at the table, pouring glasses of juice for each of them. Looking up I see that Emmett already has the plate of bacon in his hand. Before I have to utter a word Rose smacks him upside the head.

"Leave some for the rest of us!" she yells. "Jesus Christ, I swear I am going to have to hide food from you just so that our damn children can be kept alive."

"And _who_ pays for it all?" He says, shoving another whole piece in his mouth.

Edward walks over to the table, wrenching it out from his hands.

"That would be me," he says, sliding it back into the middle of the table.

Conversation resumes to normal, the breakfast table filling up with more and more food. When I make sure that everyone has a plate and that Anthony's plate isn't full of just only bacon, Edward and I lean against the middle island counter, there never being enough chairs at the table for everyone.

Everyone eats in silence, nothing but the sound of utensils hitting their plates fill the room.

"Maybe you should make a new dining room table," I whisper to Edward.

"What, so they can eat here every morning for the rest of their lives?" he asks, a joking manner in his tone.

I smack him on the arm, a smile coming across his face. Edward finishes up the rest of breakfast and puts his plate in the sink.

"Alright," he says clapping his hands together. "Time for school."

I hear a unanimous groan coming from the table.

"I got it man," Emmett says standing up, shoving one more forkful in his mouth.

"No," Edwards says.

All kids get up from the table, each of them putting their plates in the sink. When Edward and I decided to have kids we knew that we would do everything we could to make sure our kids were taught the same manners we were.

Walking over to the counter top I grab each of their lunch boxes. I hand each of them the brown paper bags we had decorated yesterday.

"Now remember, it's not about how many you get or give…."I tell them.

Edward comes up behind me, a confused look on his face.

"What the hell are those for?" he asks.

"Ohhh daddy..." Elizabeth says, holding her hand out.

"Hell is not a swear word sweetie, it's a place."

I just laugh, shaking my head.

"So what are the bags for?" he asks again.

"They are celebrating Valentine's Day at school," I say. "The kids are passing out cards to their fellow classmates…didn't you do that when you were in elementary school?"

I instantly get an image of Edward sitting in class with his cowboy hat over his face, a scowl on his face. I can't help but laugh.

"What was that all about?" Edward says, clearly noticing.

"Nothing," I say shaking my head.

We both turn our attention back to our kids. I can see Edward's "father" face come on.

"So that means they will be getting them too?" he asks.

I nod my head, putting my hand on his shoulder.

"It will be ok daddy; I promise I won't let your little girl run off with one of them," I assure him.

Edward turns to face Emmett.

"That reminds me, I need to clean out my shotguns."

Elizabeth eyes widen.

"Daddy's just kidding," I assure her.

Emmett starts walking over to us.

"Valentine's Day," he says with a sigh. "That shit scars."

Elizabeth holds her hand out.

Emmett smiles, pulling a five dollar bill out of his pocket.

"Kid is going to be richer than you," he says looking up at Edward.

I just shake my head, often wondering how this became my life. But to be honest, I wouldn't want it any other way.

Pretty soon the house becomes more and more quiet as the people slowly filter out and before I know it I am alone. When I am alone I often walk through the house, remembering every moment I've had here.

The good.

The bad.

I put all the dirty clothes into the washer before heading back into our bedroom, immediately turning on the faucet to the bathtub, pouring some bubble bath in as well. Taking off all my clothes I throw them in the hamper.

Walking back into the bathroom I slide my toe into the bath water first, immediately retracting it.

_Shit. Always make it too hot._

I re-enter my foot, slowly sinking in until my entire body is in, pushing the bubbles up around my chest. Closing my eyes, I let the warmth sink in, happy to have a moment of silence.

I don't know how much time passes, but something compels me to open my eyes, the sight before me making me smile.

Placed on the side of the bathtub is a single long stem red rose. Picking it up, I put it to my nose, inhaling the heavenly sweet scent.

"You do know that today is not _actually _Valentine's Day right?" I say out loud, knowing he couldn't be far.

I then see him come around the corner, a smile wide on his face. That smile still makes me weak in the knees.

"Do I need a holiday to give my wife flowers?" he says, holding the rest of the bouquet out.

Setting it and himself down beside me on the corner of the tub I become incredibly self-conscious, pushing more bubbles around my body.

Edward just shakes his head.

"What?" I ask.

"You're perfect Bella," he states, his green eyes gazing straight into mine.

It's now that I see his dick straining against his wranglers, the pressure on the zipper threatening to break it at any moment. Edward gets up from the side, leaning over and placing his lips on mine. His scent is the same from the day I met him, it always brining back a flood of memories.

His lips move with mine, his hands wrapped up in my sopping wet hair, his fingertips tugging on the strands gently. A flush of pleasure runs through me, goosebumps appearing on my body despite the warm water.

Hooking my arm around his neck I pull him even closer, the front of his shirt dipping in the water slightly. Then seconds later I feel my body being lifted out of the water, my soapy body being slung over his shoulder. I can't help but giggle as I try to grab my towel on our way to the bedroom.

Edward makes it to the bedside in a few large steps and reaches up, setting my body down on the bed gently. He then proceeds to lean over me, his lips on mine again. I reach up, gripping the hem of his tshirt, silently beginning him to remove hit. Instantly he leans up, sliding his shirt up and over his head, tossing it on the bedside floor. As he does this my fingers work fast to undo his pants, them along with his underwear are removed in an instant.

We both just stare at each other for a moment in our naked forms, both wearing a smile. It still amazes me how much he makes my heart race to this day. He leans back down over me; our two bodies flush against each other, my warm wet skin sliding easily against his.

His lips and tongue travel from my face and across my jaw, moving more south with every nibble. My hips rise in anticipation, my hands gripping the now damp sheets beneath us. I want him in me so much that I swear I am going to burst, but he is taking his time, a cruel mechanism to make me want him more.

_As if that's even possible. _

I feel his warm tongue dip into my naval, the sensation sending electricity through my body. I grab his hair in my hands pulling on them, wanting his face back on mine and his dick inside me.

I hear a growl leaves his throat, the animal instinct in him obviously enjoying it. His face finds his way to my wetness, his tongue grazing over my clit. My hips bucks violently, Edward's hands pushing them back down.

He stops and my insides unclench, missing his tongue already. His hands glide across my hips, slowly making their way down legs, my chest heaving again. Lifting my back off the bed I reach down between his legs, grabbing all of him in my hands, the shaft rock hard between my fingers.

I pull gently, silently telling him I need him inside.

It doesn't take more than a second and he pushes inside me, our collective moans filling the room. He continues to thrust into me, my insides clenching around his dick with every thrust. I look up, his emerald green eyes staring into me. I bite my lip as he thrusts harder, suddenly feeling slightly nervous.

"I fear you might be blushing Mrs. Masen," his soft voice says.

My love for this man grows tenfold everyday but something about his stare is still intense to me. It's like he is looking at me for the first time, every time. Lifting myself up I plant my lips on his, my arms wrapped around his neck.

I explore his mouth with my tongue, his meeting mine with every flick. I can start to feel my stomach clench, every push throwing me closer to the edge.

Removing my mouth from his I plant it next to his ear, flicking his ear with it.

"On your back Mr. Masen," I whisper.

Using my hand I push him back and he slides out of me gently. I shift so that he is now where I was, his dick still standing at attention. When he get situated I carefully swing my leg so that I am straddling him. I slowly lower myself onto him, the new position incredible.

"Fuck," I shout out as I start to rock my hips back and forth.

Edward's hands are on my hips instantly, slightly pushing down as I continue to sway.

"Jesus fucking Christ," he says through gritted teeth.

I pick up my speed, thrusting my hips into him harder, his tip grazing my G-spot every time. His fingers move from my hips to my breasts, his fingertips pulling on my nipple gently.

A wave of pleasure runs through me and I can feel myself getting close. I reach up and grab my hair and hold it off my body.

"I'm going to come," I shout out mere seconds before it rips through me.

When I come down from my orgasm I re-open my eyes, his still on mine.

"That is still the hottest fucking thing," he breathes out.

I smile then lean down to kiss him. Edward takes over and continues to thrust into me while my lips remain on his. I can feel his moans in my mouth, it turning me on even more. It only takes a few more minutes until he comes into me.

When we finish I slowly lift myself off of him, collapsing beside him, my breath still eradicated. With seconds his am is around me, pulling my body close into his.

"Being retired is fucking incredible," he whispers into my ear.

I laugh.

"Yes. Yes it is."

….

I jump out of the second bath of the day, my skin a little itchy from the soap.

_So worth it._

Grabbing my robe I walk into the bedroom, Edward already dressed. Walking over to the dresser I pull out a pair of underwear and bra, not being able to find a matching pair. As I continue to dig I find it way in the back. My black corset.

I laugh.

"What's so funny?" I hear Edward say, his arms wrapped around my waist in seconds.

"Remember when I had time to wear things like this?" I say holding the corset up.

"Mmmm," was all he said.

_I know he does too._

"I guess life changes, huh?" I say.

His fingers squeeze my hips.

"I'd like to think for the better," he whispers. "But you are still the same incredibly beautiful women I met on that wonderful day…"

I turn around looking at him and burst into laughter.

"I'm pretty sure I hated your fucking guts the first time I met you, you were such an asshole."

A smile comes across his face.

"I'd like to think I have made that up to you."

"Yeah, I guess you have," I smile while standing on my tippy toes to kiss him. "I love you."

"My heart has always belonged to you. Always and forever."

He kisses the top of my head and then walks away. As I go to close the dresser drawer I look up at the pictures on top, my heart soaring as I look at all of them.

There are so many of them, each vastly different. Pictures of the four of us. Pictures of Edward and I in Barcelona. Edward kissing my stomach while I was pregnant with Anthony. The picture of Edward's mom made it up there one day mysteriously. Edward claims it wasn't him.

_Liar. _

I find myself staring at her picture from time to time, wondering how she would feel about this.

_About me._

I like to think she would be happy.

My eyes then find the picture all the way to the right, it making me smile even more. Edward's hand is gently brushing my cheek, our foreheads touching. The upper part of my white dress peeks out from the bottom.

0o0o0o

1 year after Barcelona

I walk around the house, cursing as the pain from my feet radiates up my leg.

"This fucking sucks," I mutter as I make another lap. "Aren't these fuckers suppose to, ya know, like be comfortable?"

I look down at my feet, the Swarovski crystals gleaming in the light.

"You need to break them in," Alice says, a concerned look on her face.

"Can't I just wear like I dunno, normal shoes?"

She shakes her head.

"You can't wear your filthy sneaker to your own wedding, plus Edward paid a lot of money for these."

I huff.

"I don't even want to know how you talked him into spending $1300 on wedding shoes."

"He loves you Isabella, I'm sure he'd pay even more if you wanted him too."

I knew he would. That's what scared me.

When Edward proposed to me in Barcelona we contemplated finding a church right there and then and getting hitched. But we knew we couldn't do that. We both knew deep down we wanted our family there.

But right now I am seriously regretting that decision.

Flicking off the shoes I walk around barefoot, my toes finally being able to breathe.

"I will wear them for the ceremony but as soon as I say "I do" I'm taking those fuckers off."

Alice huffs, putting her hand on her hip. I give her my best bitch face.

"Fine, fine!" she says holding her hands up. "You win."

I smile.

"But that just means I will have to find you a pair for the reception!" she smiles.

"NO!" I shout. "Don't worry, I've got that covered."

"Oh great," Alice says sarcastically.

I pinch the bridge of my nose and take a deep breath.

"I'm sorry," I mutter. "It's just ya know…wedding jitters."

Alice gives me a small smile as I wrap my arms around her. As I pull back she holds onto my arms.

"It just you and Edward, remember that."

My heart flutters.

"I know," I smile. "Can I see it again?"

Alice rolls her eyes.

I left a lot of things for Alice to do in accordance to the wedding, but there was one thing that was out of her hands.

The dress.

When Edward and I decided to get married, Peter came to me and asked me if I was interested in wearing _her_ dress.

I couldn't say no. And I didn't want to.

Edward's mother is a huge part of his life, even if she isn't alive. She is everywhere we look. If it wasn't for her I wouldn't be here today.

Pulling out the garment bag I run my fingers over the lace, finding myself smiling. I can almost feel the love between them emanating from it.

_A life that was lost too soon._

I knew that Peter loved her so much and the loss of her crumbled his whole world. It doesn't excuse him for the actions he decided to take afterwards, but I can't say I blame him. I can't even imagine losing Edward.

Pulling myself out of my thoughts I zip it back up and store it back in its place.

"I'll see you tomorrow," I whisper to it, not really knowing who that was directed for.

….

I fly my eyes open, staring at the beautiful creature beside me. His eyes are still closed, his face solid and still. I can't seem to look away as I watch his chest rise and fall slowly.

I know that it's bad luck to see the groom on the day of the wedding, but I don't believe in that bullshit.

_Alice is going to be pissed that I snuck out. _

Inching closer to him I rest my head on his chest, it making him stir a little.

"You know Alice is going to kill you right?" he says.

I smile into him.

"I'd like to see her try. Besides it's my day. I can do whatever I want."

He laughs while pulling me into him closer. We lay there, our love for each other silently filling the room. I don't know how long we laid there but I must have fallen asleep again until the sound of pounding wakens us.

"She must have finally noticed you were missing," he laughs.

I grumble a few words before I start to pull away. Edward holds tighter.

"I have to go…."

"No," he says through a smile.

"How about we just call up a minister and get married right here?" I say.

He laughs.

"As incredible as that sounds, no."

I let out a breath.

"Yeah, then you wouldn't see my surprise," I say into his chest.

I hear another loud pound.

"If you don't come out in the next minute young lady I will send Emmett in there to get you!" she shouts.

Edward leans up and I sit up on my knees, both of us looking face to face.

"Surprise?" he asks.

I gnaw on my lip, suddenly nervous.

"I hope you'll like it," I say.

Edwards's fingers intertwine with mine.

"As long as your there I'll be the happiest man on the planet."

I smile and lean over to give him a kiss. It's long and passionate and in that moment _I _realize I want nothing more than to marry this man today.

We pull back from each other.

"You better go before Alice's hair starts falling out."

I laugh before giving him another kiss.

"I'll meet you at the altar," he says before releasing me.

I jump off the bed and walk over to the door, putting my hand on the knob.

"I'll be the one in white," I smile before pulling open the door.

I give him a wink before heading out, shutting the door behind me.

….

After about a ten minute scolding from Alice about the tradition of weddings and another 3 hours of prepping, I finally start to feel like a bride. Once my hair and makeup is done Rose comes in the room, the veil in her hand. I fight back the lump in my throat.

Getting up from my chair I walk over to the bed, the large garment bag splayed across it. Alice walks over and starts unzipping it, pulling out the dress delicately.

"It really is beautiful," she says.

She starts undoing the back and holds in down so that I can step into it. She lifts it up slowly as I put my arms into the sleeves. She then methodically starts to loop the buttons. When that's done I step into the heels, my feet already hurting.

Rose reaches up and slides the veil into my hair, letting it flow down my back. Standing up I look at myself in the mirror, everyone falling silent.

I then start to hear sniffles.

Turning around I look at them both.

"Jesus, Rose, I expected more from you," I say shaking my head.

"I have something in my eye," she utters before turning and walking away.

We hear a soft tap on the door.

"It's time," Alice says, a large smile on her face.

EPOV

I back out of the driveway, Jackson and Emmett in the cab beside me.

They wanted to take a limo but I refused.

I leave the property and head down the familiar path, knowing I could probably drive this route with my eyes closed. We reach the spot in no time, but it's not deserted like it normally is. Both sides of the street are filled with cars. I find a spot farther away, laughing at the fact that the groom doesn't have prime parking.

The three of us pile out of our car; I grab my things before walking around and pulling the tail gate down. Sliding myself onto it I grab the shot glass being shoved in my face.

I look up at Emmett.

"Just drink it. If Bella yells at you then you can blame me."

_It's a special day._

I throw it back, the familiar burn flowing down my throat. I look back up, Emmett's face looking like I just ran over his dog.

"What?" I ask.

"Well I was going to give a toast but now…."

"Oh," I say, feeling a little bad.

"Want another?" he asks.

"No," I say, not wanting to be drunk on my wedding day.

"Here," Jackson says, filling my glass up with bottled water.

We hold them up in air.

"It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man."

I just laugh, not expecting anything less from Emmett. They throw back their shots and Emmett walks off, who knows where.

"Ready man?" Jackson asks, putting his hand on my shoulder.

I just nod.

I look off into the woods, my mind wandering.

"How did I ever get so lucky?" I blurt out.

Jackson laughs.

"I don't know man. But she's pretty incredible."

I smile.

"Yes, yes she is."

Throwing on my black vest and jacket I straighten myself up, Jackson looking me over.

"How do I look?" I ask, suddenly insecure.

"I'd do ya," Jackson laughs.

Reaching back on the tailgate, I grab my black Stetson, sliding it on top of my head.

BPOV

I pull myself from the limo, Alice and Rose grabbing my train. I look to my left, my mother and father coming at me. When my eyes connect with my mother's she stops dead in her tracks and just stares.

I shake my head, seeing that she is already crying.

When she finally reaches me she throws her arm around me.

"You look absolutely beautiful sweetheart."

I look up at my father, my eyes pleading.

"Alright Renee, you gonna get mascara all over her dress," Charlie says, pulling her off me.

Alice walks in front of us.

"I think were already to go," she says. "I'm afraid you're going to have go ahead and take your seat Renee."

"Ok," she says. "I love you sweetie."

"I love you too mom," I say, kissing her cheek.

I start to walk, getting closer to my destination. Walking through the trees in these heels is tougher than I thought. When I start to see that the trees are becoming thinner my heart races me even more.

"Wait here please," an unknown figure says to me.

I nod, gnawing on my lip a little.

I feel a flick on my elbow, knowing its Alice. She probably thinks I'm going to fuck up my lipstick. As I stand there my mind flashes back to the first time I came here. I can't help but smile.

_How things have changed._

And then I hear it, it snapping my mind back.

"Ready, sweetie?" I hear Charlie say to me, his hand squeezing mine.

I nod, a wide smile coming over my face.

_Yes. Yes I am._

I concentrate on my step, trying to not fall flat on my ass in this beautiful dress. The grass in the meadow is long, guests seated on both sides. We decided to keep the guest list short, not wanting anyone else but family to be here. I scan the crowd, finding my mother's streaked face instantly. I then find Peter on the opposite side, a smile on his face as he scans my dress.

And then I find him.

He looks incredible in his suit, the black looking well…fucking incredible on him. I look up his hat, it fitting too perfectly.

_My cowboy. _

The distance between him and I close but as a much too slow rate for my liking. I start to quicken my steps but Charlie holds be back.

"Alice will kill me if I don't walk to the rhythm of the music," he whispers.

I laugh. Alice gets to everyone.

After a few more strides I come face to face with him and I don't look anywhere but in his eyes. The priest starts to talk but it's all mumble at this point.

My hand shifts from my fathers to Edward's, the electricity running through me. Edward remains smiling.

"Is this my surprise?" he whispers.

I look down at my dress and nod.

"Do you like it?" I ask.

"More than words can explain."

I wanted to lean up and kiss him but I figured that would be frowned upon. Edward continues to hold onto my hand, swinging me over so that we are now looking at each other.

…

The vows went quickly and before I knew it, it was over. When I placed my lips on his I have never felt more happy in my life. I knew this was exactly where I needed to be.

Edward and I piled into his SS Chevelle, making our way slowly to the reception site, which happened to be Peter's property. But not before pulling over for a little make out session.

"Do we have to go?" I ask as I place another kiss on his neck.

"Well, we could just head back to our house and lock the doors," he breathes out.

I lean back.

"Yeah, except everyone has a spare key."

He sighs.

"Remind me to get those back from everyone."

A large smile comes across my face.

"One drink?" I say.

He returns with a smile.

"One drink."

When we reach the property the party is already in full swing. We walk down the driveway, my feet in agony.

"Wait," I say, spotting the limo.

Edward and I walk over to it, pulling open the door. I sit down on the seat next to the open door, holding my feet out to Edward, sticking my lip out.

He grins before kneeling down on the ground, reaching his hand up my leg, slowly tracing his fingers down my leg. A shiver runs down my spine.

He then removes my shoes slowly, holding them out. I take them, pitching them to the other end of the limo before grabbing the other shoe box. I open it, smiling instantly.

I pick up the boots, Edward recognizing them instantly. He takes them and slides them on, eyeing them.

"Perfect," he says while holding his hand out to me.

I take it and we make the rest of the way to our reception.

…

The reception was a blur, the champagne probably not helping. Edward had run off to do something, leaving me to mingle with the guests.

Once I break off from people for a moment of silence I feel a presence behind me.

"Baby, someone better call God cause he's missing an angel."

I can't help but smile. I turn around to face him.

"Hey Jake," I say putting my arms around him.

I pull away as he looks me over.

"You look beautiful Bella."

"Thanks," I say, feeling the warmth in my cheeks.

I see Edward coming up from behind Jake, a small part of me becoming nervous.

_Nothing is going to happen._

Jake must have noticed my change in demeanor because he slowly turns around noticing Edward's presence. His body stiffens.

Edward's eyes go from him to mine.

"Black," Edward says as he puts his arm around me.

_Always my protective cowboy. _

Jake holds his hand out, it lingering in the air for a second. Edward's arm drops from my shoulder and takes Jake's. I think I let out a breath.

"I know you guys won't believe me, but I am really happy for you two," he says in almost a laugh.

"Thanks Jake," Edward says.

He leaves our presence and it's just Edward and I again.

"He's always around isn't he?"

I laugh.

"Some things never change."

Edward grips my hand.

"Yes they do Mrs. Masen," he says before kissing me.

We hear a collective "awe" in the background and Edward flips them all off. I pull back in need of breath. Then a soft melody comes over the speakers, it filling the backyard.

"I think it's time for our first dance sweetheart," he whispers to me.

Grabbing my hand he leads me to the makeshift dance floor. When we reach it he swings me out before pulling me into him close, his left hand in mine and his right around my lower back.

We start to sway slowly and I get lost. As far as I'm concerned it's just him and I. I rest my forehead on his.

"It's not my style to dance away the night, or go for a walk beneath the full moonlight," he starts singing in my ear along with the music.

"And I don't wish on falling stars, or easily give away my heart," he continues. "But girl, for you I will, can't hide this love that I feel."

I feel myself choking up, the tears in my eyes threatening to fall. Leaning up I press my lips to his, lost in this moment with him.

"I love you Edward, always and forever."

"Always and forever Mrs. Masen."

* * *

**E/B's wedding song is "For You I Will" by Aaron Tippin and if you want to listen watch?v=h8rPlRv7gmU**


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